looking for pictures for this was such hard work (not)

Jacksepticeye plays Bendy and the Ink Machine! I know the Villain doesn’t look like that but it’s a little hard to make someone look scary when they’re wearing a cute little mask. Lol
I want the next Chapter out! haha 

And if you would like to see the speedpainting video, here is the link
https://youtu.be/50sXr7Nnn3I


I went to sleep late and woke up early to keep working on this picture, 

How to report bots that reblog your posts and inject their own links

You’re an artist having a wonderful day posting your art to Tumblr dot com. You don’t always get a ton of attention, but that’s okay. But then one day somebody reblogs one of your posts…

You’re super excited! Someone appreciates your hard work. Then you see the profile picture, and it’s something like this…

[Screenshot of a Tumblr notification that shows an icon that looks suspiciously like a white girl in a bikini showing off her butt, though it’s so small it’s hard to tell. “axpgthglewut reblogged your photo.”]

You’re suspicious at this point, but mildly optimistic. Maybe someone likes both T&A and your Steven Universe fan art. Then you go to their blog and…

[Screenshot of my drawing of Lapis Lazuli. My original description was replaced with the text “you want to fool around?” and a link that leads to God knows where.]

It’s happened. Again. For some bizarre reason a p/orn bot is using your completely safe for work art to get click throughs to something that’s definetly not safe for work. 

You desperately want at least your attribution back, but since Tumblr is so horrifically set up you’re very sure there’s no way to do that. 

Except you can!

Tumblr allows you to report copyright violations which includes removing your description and injecting their own link. But how to do this? 

Step 1: Report them

Go to that human icon, click it to go to the drop down, and select “Report”.

Step 2: Select “Community Violation”

This behavior is explicitly against the Tumblr terms of service so that’s where it goes.

Step 3: Select “Misuse of your identity or work”

Step 4: Select “Misattribution or non-attribution”

Step 5: Select “yes”, this is your work that’s being misattributed.

Step 6: Select “yes”, you posted it to Tumblr.

Step 7: Select “Someone reblogged it and injected a link to their own blog.”

Step 8: Put in the link to your original post, the link to their reblog, and your email. Then submit!

You can get it the link to the reblog without going to their blog directly by going to the dash view of the blog, hovering over the top right corner, right clicking and selecting “copy link address.

While all of us here on this trash website enjoy picking on staff, in my experience they take care of this kind of thing relatively quickly (usually 2-3 days). 

I hope this has helped at least some of you, and remember: only you can stop bot reblogs. [insert gif of Smokey the Bear here]

if art isnt treating you right

- don’t erase the stuff you’ve already drawn, just make the layer invisible. if you’re anything like me then deleting in process sketches has a very light subconscious negative effect on how the drawing is turning out.

- don’t draw your sketches on white, especially if your brush is black. white is hard to draw on. change it to grey. trust me on this.

- if a sketch is almost there but not quite try mirroring it horizontally. the issues will be way easier to spot.

-if inking isnt your thing but you want outlines just paint your color over the sketch lines, then do the ink lines last.

- if you have lots of ideas but no patience with details like myself take to tiny tiny thumbnails. like im talking barely bigger than your thumb. it forces you to look at the whole picture and not just the details.

- if tiny doesnt work/you like detailing go opposite. draw REALLY huge and work your way through.

Why I Stopped Posting Pictures of my Top Surgery Results

On December 14th 2015, after many years of waiting, I had top surgery. Like many people in the years leading up to my surgery I scoured the internet for photos for people who had had surgery with my surgeon. Being in Canada and mostly only operating in one province I wasn’t surprised to not find a whole lot. 

I also looked for results from other people of colour, other South Asian people, and people with body types similar to mine. Unfortunately, I didn’t find much. I found that the spaces dedicated to surgery results weremainly dominated by white, slim, and muscular folks. 

I was frustrated because I knew that that my results would look drastically different than theirs. Despite my best efforts I found myself feeling frustrated with other POC. I knew that slim, muscular white people would be celebrated and get more traction than POC but there was so little out there. I didn’t need the posts or Youtube videos to be popular I just needed them to exist. I thought I understood why those results weren’t as out there, and partially I did, but now I really get it. 

When I first saw my post-op chest eight days after surgery I was elated. My partner took a couple pictures of that moment and I happily posted them on the internet (even if I felt a little self-conscious). In the days and weeks following my reveal I kept posting updated pictures though I was more and more hesitant to do so each time. Every time I did I got negative feedback about my results, weight,and body shape; reblogs, messages from anonymous people on Tumblr, and comments on Facebook posts (almost exclusively from other trans folks) left me feeling shitty about my body and results. 

Before those comments I felt good about my results and while I had issues with my hips and stomach and lack of muscles I was working to feel better about myself and my body.  So I stopped posting about my results. When one type of body is the only type celebrated in a community anyone who looks different is going to feel excluded and self-conscious - when they are then met with negative comments it’s no wonder they stop posting. It’s not a coincidence that it is hard to find top surgery results from non-thin, muscular, white people.


Does posting these pictures mean that I am over my body image problems: hell no. In fact, I have been feeling pretty self-conscious for the last little while (thanks grad school for meaning I’m too busy and poor to work out or always eat right) but I want to share my results. While I know that I’m not plus sized and don’t really consider myself fat (and benefit in society because of that) I’m also don’t super thin or cut. I want other people who look like me to know that there are other people like them in this community. I want to fight the dominance of white people in these spaces by being present. 

I know that I’m opening myself up to those comments again but I hope that people reading this will realize this it is not okay to make negative comments about others people bodies - even when those people aren’t super thin, muscular and white. 

4

My dear newbie yarn benders,

I love you. You’re wonderful and fabulous and energized about seeing a cool project on the inter-webs and have finally said “yes! I think I could do that! This is the one that will get me into knitting/crochet” With all the excitement and joy in the world you go to the craft store, grab the coolest looking yarn (in the best color, duh) and the cheapest needles/hook you can find (If if needles are too intimidating, you opt for the knitting loom. It comes in a 3 pack! score!). You follow the instructions as best you can with dreams of your project turning out exactly like the professionally taken photograph. Oh my naive, beautiful newbie yarn bender, you are on a craft high. Head so far in the clouds that you don’t realize what has happened until it’s done. We’ve all been here at some point, no matter how skilled a person is. 

My lovelies. Please learn from the mistakes that have already happened. Take the time to learn about gauge and value the materials needed. I am most definitely NOT saying buy the most expensive stuff. I am saying that skien of yarn that is one dollar more will likely make you enjoy the finished product bounties more than the value of one dollar. 

Take the top picture. This was most definitely made on a knitting loom. Im personally not a huge advocate of these. They’re great for learning how knitting works. Not great for endless feats of creativity. You’re limited by the size of the loom which limits you to the size of the yarn as well as the size of the object you make. For something that will not ladder (the long horizontal bits between the “V” stitches) you need yarn thick enough to touch the stitch next to it when wrapped around the loom. In the case of the photo, yarn far too thin was used. 

The next picture looks like it could be arm knitting. Which was a fad I loved. Can we bring this back instead of those pony tail hats? The larger the needle, in this case your arm, the larger yarn you need. The original appears to have multiple yarns being used. Perhaps our newbie knitter didn’t realize that’s an option? Lesson here: Larger needles, larger yarn. Smaller needles, smaller yarn. 

The last picture. This crocheted hippo went through the stretcher! oh no! This is a case of right yarn, wrong size hook. When your needle/hook is larger than your yarn and you put it under tension (in this case, stuffing it) the created fabric will stretch (more-so demonstrated in the first picture). Amigurumi is also hard as shit. The people who do it very well are incredible talented. We should all bow before their prowess. Please don’t try an amigurumi (small figurine knitting/crochet) as your first or even 5th project!

General rule of thumb: if you don’t want holes in your work look for yarn and needle/hook approx same size in diameter.

Alas, you have returned for the craft store. Heading the advice you’ve gotten complimentary yarn and needle/hook. TIME TO START THE CRAFT JUICE!

NO.

NOT YET.

“but whyyyy?” you whine

Because we must first test the yarn.

“But tests are boooooring” says the yarn. 

I agree, talking yarn. Tests are boring and terrible and holy crap tell you if you’re doing something right or wrong. This is useful information to know before creating something beautiful with your HANDS

Also my dear newbie yarn bender, practice makes a better yarn bender. Resist the urge to pump out something fast. Pinterst lied to you. It’s not going to take 1 hour. It will take at least 3 hours and two trips to the craft store. Accept this now. Knitting/crochet is slow ASF. Accept this now. Or find a different hobby. 

So loop on some stitches and knit or crochet your joyous heart out. Then measure it once you get around 5 inches. Count the stitches horizontally and vertically. Then refer to the chart above and make sure everything agrees. Got 12 stitches per 4 inches and using DK (3) yarn? Time to change needles sizes or get your gorgeous self some bulky yarn. Or get yourself some bulky yarn anyhow. Treat yo’self. 

i love you newbie yarn benders! Go forth and create and learn

<3 Stitch

It’s been 3 long years on my fitness journey. This journey has many different stages physically and mentally, but one things for sure you’ll look back at your before picture, and tell your body “I love you and thanks for coming this long way.” It’s not easy, but by sharing this I hope to inspire someone to not give up. My mother hates when I use this photo for comparison because she knows how criticizing people can be but leave that for the girl in 2013 to care what people thought/think. I’ve worked hard to become the person I am now, and I share this to inspire/motivate others that it is possible and the body is fascinating with what it can transform to. I’ve still got some work to do but for now happy #transformationtuesday ! God bless, rooting for ya! & a thanks to those who shared their journey and lit a flame for inspiration in others and I ❤

IG : fitnessinfocus2016

6

Exploring Ethiopia with Photographer Eyerusalem Jiregna

This post is in celebration of Women’s History Month. Throughout March, we’ll be highlighting the stories of women doing extraordinary things around the world.

Born and raised in Ethiopia’s capital city, Addis Ababa, 23-year-old Eyerusalem Jiregna (@eyerusalem_a_jiregna) knows a thing or two about fast-paced environments. But she also hopes that her photographs might inspire people to pause and look — really look — at the visual wonders that could be waiting around any corner. “I know that people have busy lives,” Eyerusalem says, “but when we’re rushing everywhere, we’re not seeing what’s around us. I want people to appreciate what’s in front of them, and I hope that my pictures can help make that happen.”

While she finds photographing people rewarding, Eyerusalem does find herself photographing women and girls more often than men. “Motherhood in Ethiopia is so significant, and the women here work so hard,” she says. “I want to try to share their stories through my photographs.”

The first thing Marinette did after finding out that Chat was Adrien was, in fact, not take the posters and pictures off her walls.

Oh, she thought about it (because, seriously, it was embarrassing, and the second he realized that Marinette was Ladybug and that Marinette was a shameless fangirl he would never let her live it down), but, in the end, she had to stop and just… look at them.

Because that was her silly kitty striking all those ridiculous poses, her silly kitty working hard — her silly kitty working for Gabriel Agreste, and whether he was his child or not, that was impressive as hell.

Looking at them didn’t give her that little punch in the gut anymore, she found. They didn’t make her feel giddy or lightheaded of anything of that sort anymore.

They just made her feel warm.

Hey, she wanted to say — not that she could, or that anyone would listen, but still, look at what my partner did! Isn’t he good?

It also kind of made her want to know what was going through his head in some of them, because she knew him, and knew there was no way he’d be able to pull off some of those expressions without thinking something utterly ridiculous.

On the other hand, there were some that were just so him she couldn’t believe she’d never seen it before. Casual elegance with warm humor and soft smiles — the only expressions she couldn’t seem to find was those absurd(ly charmin— nope, nope, nope, not going there) — absurd grins she loved so much.

Shit.

Did she say loved? She meant hated, obviously; they were so annoying! He was annoying. No amount of model-level looks could change that. Obviously. She didn’t know what she was thinking!

…Still.

She found herself going through her collection, a little ache making itself known in the pit of her heart as it became more and more obvious that ‘reserved’ and 'elegant’ were the only sorts of pictures she had.

It hadn’t bothered her before she’d known he was Chat — back when he was more of an unattainable dream than anyone in particular — and to be sure, Chat could be elegant anytime he wanted, but…

It was a little like a cookie without real butter. Still a cookie, no doubt about that, but… something was missing.

Maybe it wasn’t quite so surprising that she’d never made the connection after all.

But, well, missing parts or no, she still had pictures of her dumb kitty all over her walls, intentionally or otherwise, and…

Well…

It was embarrassing, but her walls felt almost unbearably lonely as soon as she tried taking them down.

There were worse things to cover one’s space with, she figured.

And then she put them back up.

Nerves - Smut

Originally posted by redstringbughead

Author: @dumbass-stilinski
Rating: NSFW 18+
Pairing: Stiles Stilinski/Reader
Words: 2,414
AN: Hey look! I’m not dead! Thanks for being patient with me these past few weeks, I was in a weird place and it’s just been hard for me to get into the mood to write, but it seems as if I’m back in the groove. Yay! This was written for @sarcasticallystilinski and @rememberstilinski‘s lacrosse week, so make sure you watch their blogs for some more of our favorite team, the Beacon Hills Cyclones! Also special thanks to those of you who have been encouraging me like @celestial-writing, @ninja-stiles and @thelittlestkitsune. And thanks to @writing-obrien for helping me when I got stuck, I love you all!!



“I’m so nervous.” Stiles said quietly from beside you, his knuckles white from his grip on the steering wheel.

It was his first lacrosse game, the first one where he’d actually be playing on the field, and he was extra fidgety. You reached out to rub his shoulder soothingly as he drove the familiar route to the school. “You’re gonna do great, babe. You and Scott have been practicing so much, you’re not a bad player.”

He sighed. “I’m gonna get out there and choke, I know it.” He pulled into a parking spot, turning off the ignition and sitting back, his hand over his eyes. “Maybe I’ll just fake sick.”

“No way.” You unbuckled your seatbelt and slid closer to him, your hand moving to grab his wrist and uncover his eyes. “The team needs you. You can do this, I know you can.”

Keep reading

170226 Leo Twitter Reply Compilation

☆ But I really think I was born lucky. I think I always have good luck. I hope only good things will happen until the end. Of course I’ll make my own happiness! hing I miss you, oppa. It seems like so long that I haven’t seen you.. Your face is just haunting meㅠㅠㅠ
Leo: just haunting you?

☆ wow
Leo: wow

☆ Let’s get married Jung Taekwoon
Leo: Why?

☆ omg oppaㅜㅜㅠㅜㅠㅜㅜㅠ
Leo: What

☆ I want to see you so much I could die Jung Taekwoon
Leo: You shouldn’t die

☆ omg I was just listening to Words to Say and you are here now 8ㅅ8
Leo: keep listening

☆ Taekwoon-ahㅠㅠㅜㅠㅜㅜㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠI’m being haunted but can’t see you When will I see you?????? Why can’t I see you in front of me
Leo: come here

☆ omg oppa omg
Leo: omg what

☆ Oh my Have a good night
Leo: Sleep is a long way off

☆ Wut are you doing
Leo: working

☆ OMG Oppa, you came at Sanghyuk o’clock
Leo: I came at the wrong time
T/N: The month and day of the members’ birthdays correlate to their “time of day” in hours and minutes.

☆ Daeguni, are you not eating dinner..?
Leo: Your picture is sort of burdensome
T/N: Their dp is N looking into a camera shot at an odd angle.

☆ omg omg I was having a hard time, but now I’m so happy to see youㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Leo: Why are you having a hard time

☆ omg What is this Oppa All of a sudden omg What’s this What!!!!!!!!!
Leo: Change your picture
T/N: Their dp is a picture of Leo yawning.

☆ OMG It’s Jung Taekwoon
Leo: It’s me

☆ I can’t have something like the good fortune of getting a reply right~~~~
Leo: Here, good fortune

☆ Oppa, what are you doing recently? Have you been well?
Leo: I’ve been working

☆ DaebakjeokㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜThanks for coming
Leo: What is daebakjeok
T/N: Daebakjeok is basically “amazing”

☆ I almost lost my breathㅠㅠㅠ Oppa, would you like to eat ramyun?
Leo: If it’s Shin Ramyun

☆ Oppa where are you?? I miss youㅠㅠ It’s been so wong since I’ve seen youㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Leo: Is this aegyo?

☆ Today is work and giving a recitation
Leo: work work work

☆ Hello It’s me Are you doing well there~~
Leo: very well

☆ Oppa, can you tell me when the concert will be this year so I can plan my vacation?ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ I almost overlapped it with the concert last year
Leo: When will it be

☆ Pleeease release a 2nd LR album….
Leo: Is this a confession all of a sudden

☆ Are you sick at all?ㅠㅠㅠ
Leo: I’m very healthy

☆ What are you doing recently?
Leo: I’m working recently

☆ ㅜㅜㅜNoo …… You left I’ll send this praying that next time I get a reply ㅜㅜ I just can’t let you go!!!!
Leo: I haven’t gone

☆ Oppa disappeared so quietly…….. Someday me too…..crying
Leo: I’ll disappear soon 😶

☆ During the semester, no matter how busy I am, I’ll send mentions to you one at a time. This is my plan! I don’t know whether you will read it or not, but if happen to read it I hope I can be a little of your strength. I hope you always smile 😊
Leo: Good luck on your new semester!

☆ You don’t have to reply, so please just lookㅠㅠ The daily temperature range is huge, so wear warm clothes! Don’t be hurt! While waiting for the next comeback I’ll study hard! I’ll do my best and look over you! Goodbye!
Leo: Thanks

☆ Hellow!!! Mr. Jung Taekwoon!! Please say something to the office workers who have to go to work tomorrow!!!!!!!
Leo: I go to work everyday

☆ Hello〜I’m sending this from Japan It’s so hardㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠbecause I’m busy with workㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Leo: Thanks
T/N: Leo replied in Japanese

☆ Oppa, please say that my class assignment will turn out well…🙏
Leo: Class assignments are up to the heavens

☆ Leo-saーーーーーーn
Leo: Why
T/N: In Japanese

☆ Good evening (=^^=) Did you eat?
Leo: Not yet
T/N: In Japanese

☆ You are really the kindest person in the world .. Thank you
Leo: You all mean that to me too

Leo (@JUNGTW_LEO):

잠깐이지만 오늘도 재밌었어. 모두 감기 조심합시다!

It was just a short time, but today was fun. Everyone, let’s be careful of colds!

Say my name.

Pairing : DeanxReader, Sam
Word count : 1,625
Author : Mel

A/N : this is what happens when I have to pee at 4am, and my kid’s radio is playing “Say my name.” by Destiny’s Child.



You were sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the floor and trying to keep your nerve when the Impala pulled in outside. You waited quietly and patiently for them to come into the room. You hoped they didn’t get hurt on this hunt, or your nerve would be gone. Holding your breath as their boots came loser to the door, you glanced up as it finally opened and Dean walked in smiling, with Sam behind him.

“Hey baby.” Dean grinned at you. Both boys looked unhurt, which gave you a sense of relief for just a moment, but you didn’t miss how Sam instantly furrowed his brows at the sight of you.

“What’s my name, Dean.”

“What?” His smile was gone and he was confused.

“Say my name.”

Keep reading

Becoming Queer

When I was 8 I was obsessed with Disney’s Aladdin. Not just the original movie, but both of it’s poorly made sequels too. I watched them everyday after school while I drew pictures in our basement TV room, simultaneously fixated on their adventures and creating my own on paper.

I remember being absolutely in awe of how handsome Aladdin was, but also of the beauty of Princess Jasmine. They were the most attractive people I could ever imagine existing.

When I was 10 my mom gave me an American Girl book all about puberty and the female body. I only read through the whole thing once, but I left it close to my bed because of the one page I looked at nearly everyday.

It was one of the sections of the book on bodily changes throughout puberty– body hair, periods, etc. At the bottom of was a picture of several girls in front of a mirror, completely naked, to illustrate the different sizes and shapes of breasts. I was absolutely fascinated by these girls: the soft curves of their hips, their round and full breasts, the way their thighs came together. Despite their cartoonish nature, this was the closest I’d come to seeing a grown girl’s body. It was foreign and beautiful to me.

Somehow, I knew this wasn’t normal, so I always hid the book after I was done in case mom asked why I still had it.

When I was 12 I found my self distracted in classroom discussion circles looking at girls chests and lips and thighs. Every time I caught myself I’d immediately look down at my lap and blush. I’d learned by now that it wasn’t normal for girls to look at other girls like that, what it meant to be gay. But I’d eventually find my eyes wandering again, my thoughts focused on how beautiful one of my female classmates was.

I remember walking down the hallway one day mentally reciting “you can’t be a lesbian, you like boys… every girl must look at each other like this.”

When I was 13 one of the girls that I clung to during PE (because they were just as repulsed by physical exertion as I was) told us she was bisexual. This was the first time I’d been told someone could be attracted to boys and girls at the same time. It was confusing and enlightening at the same time.

I remember she put her arms around my shoulders once, during badminton week, her face inches from mine. It made me nervous, but in a way that I’d never felt before. My stomach had dropped, and I didn’t know why. It wasn’t like the fear I’d felt from scary movies and my dad yelling at me, but it wasn’t quite like when I felt exhilarated from riding a rollercoaster or binging on sugar with my friends… it was something in between, and entirely new.

I’d told my mom about it and she immediately wanted to call the principal and make sure the girl didn’t touch me like that again. That scared me, her reacting like that. I started acting repulsed by the girl afterwards, telling my friends she had flirted with me even though I wasn’t entirely sure she had, how weird it was and how weird she was.

Looking back, I probably wish that she had been flirting with me.

When I was 14 I was acquainted with the first queer couple I’d ever met. They were in theatre with me, and I’d been wanting them to start dating for months. At this point I’d stopped acting weirded out by gay people and claiming that bisexual people were “selfish and should just pick a side already.” I openly showed my support for gay people, citing my theatre friends of examples of how “normal” they could be.

I walked in on the couple in the dressing room one rehearsal, shocked to see them making out. I stood in the doorway a moment, then walked out without either of them seeing me.

I thought about their kiss for the whole day, wondering how their relationship worked, what it was like to date someone of the same gender as you. I was dating a boy at the time, my first boyfriend and the one that would create fear and an inability to trust for my entire high school career when he started abusing me. I wondered if this couple’s relationship could be anything like ours.

When I was 15 I joined Tumblr. I’d just moved from Michigan to Alabama, had my heart broken by my abusive boyfriend furthering the pain he was inflicting by cheating on me, and was just beginning to realize that I had an eating disorder with no idea how to feel about it or whether or not I wanted it to go away.Tumblr became a place for me to escape all this into “fandoms” and “fitblrs” and personal posts from strangers I didn’t know but whose lives intrigued me. It was on Tumblr that I first encountered the word “pansexual.” I was 16.

I was intrigued and slightly obsessed with the concept of it, pansexuality. I’d only just begun to learn about transgender and heard rumors of other genders outside of men and women, and being attracted to all of them or being “genderblind” seemed impossible, but incredible. I spent months randomly researching sexual orientation and transgender people before finally adopting the term as my own.

Though, it was only in my head that I claimed pansexuality as my own. I didn’t want to tell anyone… not because I was ashamed so much, I’d forgotten that stigma several years ago, but more because I was afraid that I only wanted to be pansexual, not that I actually was.

After all, if only ever been in relationships with boys at that point. How could I know if I was actually attracted to other genders if I’d never dated them?

When I was 17 I got my first crush on a girl. I didn’t recognize that that was my motive at the time, but I was constantly staring at her in the two classes we shared, payed special attention when she spoke, and the day she announced that she had a Tumblr I made it my goal to be a part of her life.

By winter we were best friends. By summer I’d begun to realize the extent of my feelings for her. The first time I got drunk at 19 I blurted out that I thought about making out with her all the time. I told her how I felt at 20, 3 years of pining later.

She told me she didn’t feel the same.

When I was 18 and in my first year of college, I binge watched all of Laci Green’s videos on YouTube, deciding that it was time I figured out how my body and how sex worked. Through her I found not only the courage to masturbate for the first time, but my first confrontation with “third genders.”

I obsessively studied nonbinary genders, claiming to just be interested in them, giving speeches and presentations on them for class, messaging nonbinary people to ask about their experiences. I came to accept that I identified with this term the summer of my sophomore year of college.

When I was 18 I also came out to my dad. I’d already come out to my close friends, sisters, and mother at this point– all giving me generally positive responses. This was not the case with my dad.

We were fighting in the kitchen, something that had become a regular thing since I’d started expressing my feminist and liberal beliefs. He was making homophobic comments and I guess I must of have been very clearly upset by this, because he asked, “do you have a problem with that?”

To which I responded, “Yeah, because I like girls, dad!”

My outburst led to two and a half years of him telling me that my identity was fake, a scheme to get attention, that all I believed was a result of my being brainwashed at college and my own self delusion. The full force my panic, bipolar disorder, and depression came out during this time. The first time I thought of killing myself was when he threatened to kick me out and cut me off from my sisters if I didn’t stop with this “feminazi LGBT bullshit.”

When I was 19 I started dating one of my best friend from high school– a boy, but pansexual like myself, I felt like this was the first queer relationship I’d been in.

He told me he didn’t want a monogamous relationship, that he identified as polyamorous– which I knew because this was one of the reasons his last relationships hadn’t worked out. Thinking I wouldn’t fall as desperately in love with him as I did, I agreed to an open relationship.

Two months into the relationship and much research and self reflection later, I’d come to accept that I was also polyamorous and I never wanted a monogamous relationship again.

When I was 20 a girl on Tumblr reblogged a set of selfies that I’d posted, exclaiming in the tags about how handsome I was. I took one look at her blog, saw the profile picture of her staring directly at the camera with intense blue eyes and an expression impossible to read, and immediately followed and messaged her my thanks.

We started messaging frequently, talking about such expansive and random things, things I’d never talked about with anyone. Soon we were messaging everyday and I began to realize how hard I was falling. I wanted her, I wanted her so badly.

I hadn’t had a crush on a girl that’d worked out in my favor and I was constantly pining for a girlfriend. I loved my boyfriend, I was still attracted to men and non-feminine genders, but I felt not only “too straight” to be queer at that point, but also like I was missing some sort of affection in my life that only a feminine partner could fill. And I was beginning to wonder if this girl was the person who could finally end my wanting.

The only problem with this girl was that she lived an ocean away from me, in Denmark to be specific. But my feelings became so strong that I couldn’t just be silent anymore: I told her I liked her.

She said she felt the same.

Today, March 2nd, 2017, Hayley Kiyoko released the music video for her single “Sleepover.” It wrecked me.

Hayley has become someone that I not only admire, but someone who makes me feel so validated in who I am. A mixed, Japanese American, queer girl in love with art and comfy clothing. Before Hayley, I’d never felt like there was anyone in the media who was even remotely like me. With great music and a connection I’d never felt in any other celebrity before, I became an avid fan. So naturally, when the video for “Sleepover” was released it only took me minutes to find it on YouTube and watch.

The music video was so much more than I could have anticipated, actualizing all my experiences as a queer feminine person, admiring from a far, living in my head with my fantasies and no hope of ever being able to experience them in reality. With this video I was thrown back into all the years I spent confused and afraid of how I felt and who I was, all the girls I wanted to be with but knew they couldn’t work out, or didn’t work out even when I tried. And as melancholy as these thoughts were at first, it pushed me to the realization:

I love who I’ve become. I love that I’m queer.

And despite how grueling the process of it all has been, I wouldn’t trade all that heartache for a normal life if I could. I wouldn’t give it all up to be the straight girl with no struggles or worries about who she loved as I once believed I would. Even with the pain that it had brought, becoming queer has made me the person I am today.

And I love that person, even if there are still rough edges to be smoothed, I am finally unafraid of who I am.

Astral Travel vs Astral Projection

This is honestly one of our most requested posts right now. We’ve got numerous anons in our inbox asking us “what is astral travel, how do you do it, and how is it different than astral projection?”

So first off I’m going to address what the astral is so we’re all on the same page. The astral is, in essence, a variety of different realms/dimensions/spaces that can be accessed and is populated by astral beings. Spirits often live here, various deities and entities, and even human souls who simply exist there or are dead or will exist in the future. (Time is weird in the astral.) It’s basically an Otherworld or perhaps the Otherworld often described in myths and legends. It’s not always safe. Just like you shouldn’t trust every single human you meet here on earth, you shouldn’t trust every single spirit you meet in the astral. 

So now on to different ways to access the astral, primarily astral projection and astral travel. 

Astral Projection 

Personally, I find astral projection a lot harder. It’s essentially a form of self-hypnosis. A quick google search/preliminary research will most likely tell you that astral travel and astral projection are the same thing.

Astral travel and astral projection are not the same thing. 

Astral projection typically involves a very deep meditative state. It’s pretty much synonymous with inducing an out of body experience (OBE). Your mind is on the edge of sleep and has to stay there in order to induce the right state for astral projection.

Personally, I find this dangerous. First of all, exploring the astral is not safe. Take a guide with you or make sure that your body/self is personally protected. (Sprinkle some black salt on your forehead, carry a protective charm, make a spell jar that will protect you during astral travel, etc. Doesn’t have to be fancy, just keep yourself protected!) There are potential dangers to astral travel and astral projection.

The biggest concern I have with astral projection is that it can often induce sleep paralysis and other hallucinations that are not necessarily related to the astral realms. People who have experienced sleep paralysis may see shadow people at the edge of their bed, demons attacking them in their sleep, etc. Your body is asleep but your mind is awake. Brains are weird. It can also induce a state of panic because hey, your body isn’t moving but your mind is very awake, sounds like the perfect time to panic and make you believe that you’re being possessed by demons. Which, if you’re already scared of demons or negative/evil entities, your mind will be more likely to create those and some very real spirits like to feed off your fears. 

So now that I’ve probably scared most of you out of astral projection, let me talk about the ways that astral projection can be a good and useful way to access the astral. 

It’s easy to believe that what you’re experiencing is real. With astral projection, your soul is literally separated from your body, and things are a lot more vivid. When successfully and safely practicing astral projection, there’s a lot less room for doubt over what you’ve experienced because typically it is incredibly sensory. Humans have a tendency to believe what they can see/feel/touch/smell/hear. 

It’s also easier to be aware of what you’re doing in the astral. You’re experiencing a very vivid trip to the astral, so it’s easier to know and control what you do. Messages are likely to get through easier. It’s very similar to lucid dreaming in that you’re aware of what’s happening so you can respond appropriately. That’s not to say that you can’t be aware of things during astral travel, it’s just a bit easier with projection. 

Unfortunately, it can be very difficult for some to astral project for a variety of reasons. Personally, I have a very difficult time doing astral projection. Your energy might be blocked or your soul may just really wanna stay inside your body. Realizing you have a hard time doing astral projection can be really discouraging if you believe that it’s the only way to get into the astral. 

So if you’re discouraged because astral projection seems really hard and unattainable and kinda scary and now you’ll never be able to do the spirit work that you want to, don’t worry. I’m about to talk about astral travel.

Astral Travel

Just like astral projection, there are dangers to astral travel. I don’t want to make this post seem like it’s perfectly safe and harmless to astral travel without concern for your safety. Don’t be afraid, but don’t be stupid. 

Have you ever done a guided meditation or visualized what you want? Congrats, you can astral travel! It’s almost difficult for me to describe how you astral travel simply because it’s almost second nature to me now. Unless there’s something blocking or hurting me, I can pretty much access my astral space or explore at any time of the day. (Lol I’ve astral traveled at work before. I don’t recommend that, as astral travel can and does require some concentration.)

When you’re new to astral travel, it might be helpful for you to get into a meditative state. Not a hypnotic state, just a nice and relaxed meditative state. Now visualize somewhere that you like. The ocean, the mountains, a nice field, a city you enjoy. Or, if you have a hard time getting there, picture a door. What does that door look like? Tell the door you want to go to your astral space. Now open that door. 

Ward your astral space. Your own personal astral space can be modified and changed within reason. But the big difference between imagination and astral travel is that not everything will respond exactly the way you think or want it to. Your space will grow and change without your attention/care. You can even just practice astral travel by taking care of your astral space. 

Do you want to leave your astral space? Get your astral protections ready (please for the love of all that is good in this world WARD YOUR ASTRAL SPACE) and visualize that door again. What does it look like? Does it look different? How do you feel about that? What is your gut telling you about the door and where it leads? Listen to your gut. Ask the door to take you to your astral guide. That’s one way that you can find someone to help you explore the astral safely. 

I must put the caveat that not everyone will see things in high definition. In fact, it will mostly be in your mind’s eye, not your physical eyes. That’s part of what tripped me up when I first began exploring the astral. I was expecting to see things with my physical eyes but was ignoring my mind’s eye where things were happening. It is very similar to your imagination and personally, I believe that successful astral travel needs some creativity and imagination. So don’t worry if your astral travel mostly looks like a dark space with a vague feeling of what things are and where they are. Pay attention to other things. What do you hear? What do you sense? What do you just sort of know? What do you smell? What do you taste? Don’t worry if visualization is hard for you. It’s still possible to astral travel. A lot of times it’s very easy to overcomplicate it 

So there you have it folks! Astral projection vs astral travel! I hope this helps some of you!

~Mod Petra

Got7: being best friends with BamBam

•  dude he’d probably meet you on social media when he sees you’re posting memes
•  but he’s like…that’s a girl and…she’s really pretty…so why is she posting about those damn Daniel memes still
•  he’s hella chill when you meet him, and is basically a walking, talking, breathing meme so you get along perfectly
•  him making you think he’s free before anything is set, and being upset at him bc Jackson decides to take them to Hong Kong the day you were supposed to hang out with Bam
•  “Sorry y/n, but he’s my hyung and I low key wanna see what his parents are like for him to be this way”
•  being extra af together
•  flexing on your ex’s together (flexing on everyone tbh, so much showing off)
•  laughing at memes together
•  both of you being giant memes and always try to get into whatever something new that’s trending
•  literally everyone thinks you’re dating but you’re just super close
•  jokingly calling himself your ‘man’ if another guy dares to get close to you
•  bc he’s hella protective and cautious when it comes to you, and thinks they all have bad intentions
•  trying to hook him up with some of your friends who think he’s cute
•  but aw poor puppy, he gets too shy and tells you he isn’t looking for a relationship
•  late-night drive thru adventures
•  where you’re eating nuggets and powdered donuts, talking about the universe
•  and how you must’ve been twins in another lifetime bc yall are so similar
•  him laughing at your lame jokes bc he always wants to be there for you (and your satisfied expression when you see someone laughing always gets him man, he’s emo)
•  sharing clothes
•  literally will rip your jeans or tear off one sleeve bc he thinks ‘this is the new trend’
•  but he just wants you to act and look crazy with him in public so he doesn’t feel alone
•  *forgetting* his wallet so you’d always end up paying for his ice cream cone from the shop down the street
•  twerking with you and making you stop to record him looking hella aesthetic as he shakes his nonexistent booty to ‘bae bae’
•  looking at pictures of cute guys and girls together, and stalking their instagram
•  him liking their post from like 2929393938383 weeks ago and you realize-
•  that’s your phone
•  and he’s logged in on your account
•  “I’m giving you a 2 seconds head start before I’m cutting all your Gucci slippers and breaking your Rolex, you little b-”
•  so reliable and his shoulder is always there for you to cry on
•  after teasing you for being sad lololol he’s just always happy around you and you sorta are the reason for that
•  he’d become v serious and talks about the hard work he goes through
•  and how sometimes it’s hard to not say “screw it” and give up
•  so you should cheer up bc you’ve got him and he’s not going anywhere anytime soon
•  “stop dabbing, you’re gonna get whiplash”
•  spoils you on your birthday and ONLY on your birthday
•  bc he thinks everyone should be treated like royalty on their birthday  (esp him)
•  and probs buys you designer belts and turns up w/ you all night long
•  gets annoyed when the others get to know you better bc back off wth…she’s my best friend, get your own
•  giving you a dirty look when you compliment one of the members and tell him they look cute
•  gives you the cold shoulder until you apologized and tell him that he’s the only 'man’ in your life
•  crying together over movies and TV shows that you’re both watching
•  like he’d be on tour and you just finished this episode and you gotta tell him what happened…
•  “bam, she dies!!!! *sniff* her brother kills her-”
•  hangs up on you and doesn’t speak to you until he’s gotten over his grudge and gets caught up with the episodes
•  buys you hella makeup when he’s away, and hides it all over your house when he comes back just to see you struggle in excitement as he’s smirking
•  teasing you all the mf time, but he just loves you to death and only wants to see you happy
•  honestly…this is goals on so many levels, and we all need a best friend like this hamster 🐹

Originally posted by bamica

i’m laughing imagine jake and amy looking after terry’s kids like trying so hard to keep them happy and nothing’s working and jake’s like “it better not be this difficult when we have kids” and amy’s like “tell me about it” and after a minute they both realise what they just said and kind of look at each other in shock and amy finally goes “we’ll talk about this later”


Frisk: “Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.“
Chara: “I think you’re trying too hard, Frisk.”

Charisk is important. Now to try working on things that I was supposed to do tonight.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips for painting backgrounds?? oh my god i am STUNNED by your work!

HI THERE & THANKS!

as for some tips…just…references LOL. look at pretty pictures. both photography and paintings of places u think are cool! they usually give me a good basis for starting palette and space, and then from there I kind of build my own place depending on the composition. (Because I’ve pretty much been using backgrounds as a supplement to the piece, secondary to the figures involved..)

It’s not hard though! I’ll walk u through… (the meadows) (ha)

… *puts bob ross wig on*

throw in a sky

some foreground elements

flesh out some middle ground. I specifically kept the hills under their shoulders for emphasis on their heads, yknow??

add some happy mountains.

sprinkle in some flowers

throw on some extra lighting (mine is coming in from the right)

maybe add some happy clouds

some extra foreground elements to put icing on the cake!

I’m always adjusting my colors and values with the HSV slider (CTRL/CMD+U)

For this one I wanted a really pink/red thing goin on for Valentine’s day so that was my goal~ Hope this helps a little bit!

I tried to copy the pose, but didn’t really succeed…lol. My friend told me I shouldn’t post this because it’s hard to compare a candid pic to a selfie (bc generally everyone looks better in selfies) especially with different lighting, but I think regardless I definitely look a LOT better than a month ago. The first pic was taken December 27th & the second picture last night after my workout. There’s about a 15lb difference between the pictures!! I know it’s not totally accurate but it still helps me to see a bit of progress (especially in my arms😳)