does dysphoria never go away? u said u feel dysphoric and ur insecure abt ur masculinity (in the gym) and i feel like for me it's just flipped around (im trans and haven't medically transitioned). i feel like it'll never get better. i feel like i'll always be depressed
first, keep in mind i’m still pretty early in my transition! 6 months isn’t that long to let puberty do its thing, so things are still very much in flux.
anyways, my dysphoria is SO much better than it used to be. i don’t hate myself every time i hear myself speak, i don’t feel terrible every time i look in a mirror, etc. i can actually semi-ignore my dysphoria when i’m out and about instead of always feeling it, mostly because i know i mostly pass and so the knowledge that i don’t pass isn’t always in the back of my head. i still have quite a bit of dysphoria, primarily because i still have anatomy i don’t want that can only be corrected by surgery, but there are also other things (e.g. my face looking Too Feminine to me, not having facial hair, not being muscular enough, having curves, etc). at the gym, my dysphoria really reared its head because i saw all these guys who were perfect stereotypical microcosms of masculinity and i felt incomplete and insufficient in comparison. but that kind of stuff doesnt happen nearly as often as it used to.
from what i’ve heard from people who consider themselves extremely far in transition or post-transition, like 10+ years, they say that dysphoria isn’t really a thing in their day-to-day life, it only crops up occasionally, and they rarely think about being trans. so yeah, it will get better. it’ll take time, but it will get better :-)