With the “Wanted” event coming up I’m going to talk about something
that’s been bugging me about su that I don’t see many other people
talking about and the reason I am preemptively pissed off about the
whole thing: Backgrounds
When su started the backgrounds where
always really nicely done and a huge part of why i loved the show as it
really didn’t look like a ton of other shows out there. Even with other
shows that had more detailed backgrounds like gravity falls (especially
towards the end) I always felt that su’s had the most stylistic cohesion
which I admit is a personal bias but what the hell.
Backgrounds were creative, very nice looking and fit with the character designs very well and they still look really pretty.
I mean look at these! they’re so nice and sparkly and detailed! there was effort and style and substance and it looks great.
when homeworld had just been introduced i saw a lot of fan concepts
about what it would look like and i was super pumped to see it since it
would be an entirely new and creative environment that a talented group
of artists would be creating and visualizing. Now we’re actually going
(technically for the second time) and what do we get?
literally just colors in geometric shapes for character to float around in.
even in the more detailed shots they still don’t try that hard
they’re still messy and not quite as detailed.
has been suffering from backgroung-sucking-itis for a while now and in
my humble opinion watching this happen over the seasons it’s been a
downward slope of less effort being put in and a reliance on the soft
lined gradient style of the backgrounds.
not only have the
backgrounds become less detailed but now the characters don’t even blend
in with the backgrounds and just kind of.. float
sharp thick lines and bright colors of the characters and the soft
thin-lined pastel backgrounds don’t… really,, blend anymore and no one
has shadows and where both the characters and bg are steadily looking
worse its just.. sad at this point.
i started this post planning
to rant and honestly? im just sad and disappointed and the backgrounds
aren’t shiny and sparkly and nice anymore and all the characters look
really ugly and homeworld looks like some random abstract screensavers
and im.. tired.
Langst drawing (pt 2 out of-the fuck i don’t know)
-The first person who noticed the papers was Keith
-He thought the papers were just trash so he threw them into the nearest trash can-looking thing
-No, he wasn’t being a complete asshole, he just thought that the papers were trash because he only saw the back of them and since the papers were re-used, the back just had random Lance scribbles on it
-Unfortunately, the next person who saw them was Lance
-When he came back to the kitchen later to get something to eat he saw his drawings in the trash…
-Hunk saw the drawings next
-He was rooting around the castle with Coran, looking for some random thingamabob to fix one of Pudge’s contraptions
-He was looking into the trash can just in case someone accidentally threw the part away when he saw the stack of papers
-He took them out and gasped
-Each drawing was super realistic and amazing
-It was like looking at a professional artist’s work in a museum, Hunk was almost afraid to touch the paper
-The first few drawings were from Keith and Shiro’s lives, but then Hunk got to his own intended present
-It was of him and his moms at a beach in Hawaii, all of them in bathing suits and standing in front of the water as if they were posing for a picture
-It showed of Hunks tattoos that he loved, and the wind blowing through his hair, and his favorite surfboard resting in front him, and his makuahine* had that mischievous sparkle in her eye, and everything that he missed about home was there and
-when the tears came he wasn’t surprised
(*means mother in Hawaiian pls correct if i’m wrong tho, I used google translate )
It’s a usual night at Sirius’ flat. James is holding a beer, laughing out loud, as Lily is embracing him on the couch. As always, they look adorable. You give a quick stare to Sirius to your right. He’s laughing warmly at what James is saying. You don’t really listen to whatever he’s telling because you’re too focused on Sirius’ smile. His lips. You’ve been out and about since the school ended. It’s been two years already and you feel like you both are driven away from each others. Between you two, it always been passionate. But lately, he’s been more distant. There’s a war coming, everybody knows it. Maybe this is just it. It always has been just about sex. He was never going to settle down. Never. Remus is staring blankly at the boys but he doesn’t look like he’s totally there. There’s something on his mind right now, but you can’t tell what is it. He’s sweating a little bit, he actually looks like he caught some cold. Remus have been drinking quite a lot tonight, more than usual. Maybe this explains why he looks so far distant. ‘Moony?’ says James, waving his hand in front of Remus’ eyes. 'You there?’ Remus jumps. 'Yep. Sorry.’ 'I think it’s time to go, James’ says Lily with a warm laugh. 'What, no!’ says Sirius, shaking the almost empty whisky bottle in his hand and filling Remus’ glass once more. 'Don’t you think he had enough already?’ you say to Sirius. He turns back to look at you with a childish pout. But he looks deeply at his friend and knows that it’s maybe time to call it off. 'Fine! Moony, you’re sleeping here tonight.’ You turn around to look at Remus. He’s already sleeping. You guess he just needed to know the party was over. Anyway, he wouldn’t have gone very far by the way he looks. Not only he had a lot to drink, but he didn’t look like he was in a great shape either. You kiss goodbye James and Lily as they disappear behind the door. Sirius takes your hand. 'You staying tonight?’ he asks with a smirk on his face. You know exactly what this expression means. You’ve seen it a hundred times. You put your hand on his chest. 'Nah, I’m going to go home, I’m tired.’ He pouts again and it makes you chuckle. 'You are impossible! Remus is just next to your room, what if he hears us?’ 'He’s passed out, love’ Sirius answers, tickling his cheek against yours. Sirius never wanted people to know you two were seeing each other. And you were kind of okay with it because you didn’t want anybody to judge you because you were sleeping with the worst playboy Hogwarts had known. You take Sirius’ hand and lead him silently into his bedroom, after you glance one last time to see Remus sound asleep, tucked into the couch like a baby. You close the door behind you as you fall into Sirius’ arms, swearing, as usual, that it’s the last time. You’re too old for these foolish games. At first it was fun. Sirius is a great lover, you have to admit it. But you want more and it’s impossible with him. You kind of made peace with this fact.
There’s a sound that wakes you up, making you jump in fear in the bed. It takes you a few seconds to realize where you are. You look at your right and see Sirius sleeping next to you, his arm resting on your naked stomach. You try to get up of the bed but he squeezes you gently next to him. 'Sirius? There was a noise’ you say. But he doesn’t answer. He’s sleeping deeply. You get on the tip of your toes and take your wand on the night table. It’s always ready, these days are dangerous. You grab Sirius’ t-shirt and put back your underwear. You open silently the door of the bedroom and walk to the provenance of the strange noise. You feel silly.
You see the bathroom’s light turned on as Remus isn’t on the couch anymore. You sigh, relieved. You walk to the door and the scene before your eyes makes you panicked. 'Remus, are you okay?’ you ask as you reach for a clean towel. His left rib is completely scratched, deeply and there’s a lot of blood around it. At the sound of your voice, he steps back in fear and try to hide his body with the shirt he was holding. 'What the hell happened?’ you say as you reach for the shirt, but he steps back. 'Remus? Let me take care of it.’ 'Go away Y/N, I’m okay’ he says, but his voice seems off, like he is really hurting right now. 'You’re clearly not, show me your wound’ you reply angrily. He rolls his eyes and he drops the shirt on the ceramic floor. 'Merlin, Remus. How did you end up like this? Why didn’t you tell anyone? Is that why you were drinking that much?’ You clench your teeth together as you look at the flesh-wound cut. It looks like it hurts like hell. You wet the fresh towel and wring it. 'This is going to hurt’ you tell him, before applying the linen on his wound. He hisses silently but you can read the distress on his face. You look at the cut again, trying to wipe the blood away. 'Sit down’ you tell Remus, pointing at the counter. He nods and sit painfully on it, while you’re searching into the cabinets. You find some bandage. Remus is following you with his gaze as you wet another clean towel with freezing water. You push it gently on his forehead, then down on his neck. 'You’re burning’ you sigh. 'Keep it still if you can.’ He holds the towel on his face as you start to rip some bandage to cover his wound up. You then look for a bottle of disinfectant. You grab it and you freeze in front of him. 'I’m sorry. This is not going to be fun’ you say, with an awkward smile. He scoff. 'Don’t worry Y/N. I’m used to.’ You frown your eyebrows. You then notice the other scars all over his body. He has a large one on his chest but it looks quite old. It makes the other little scars nothing compared to it. You look again in his eyes and without thinking about it, you look at the aged scar crossing his face. You always thought it was adorable, actually. 'How could you hurt yourself so bad…’ you say, more to yourself than to him. He looks at you intensely. 'I think you know what it’s about’ he says. 'You’ve been around quite enough…’ You don’t reply. You always thought that he was a werewolf. It started with his sudden disappearances when there was a full moon. Then the scars that were adding up on his body each time he’d come back. You never said anything, nor asked questions. Not because you were scared, but because you knew how Remus was discreet and reserved. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Anyway, his condition never mattered to you. He was your friend, a dear one and you wanted him to be happy. You start soaking some cotton with the disinfectant. 'Take a deep breath’ you say as you apply the cotton on the wound. He growls and hisses. He punches the counter so heavily that he makes his knuckles bleed. 'Really Remus? Didn’t lose enough blood already?’ you say. 'It hurts like hell Y/N!’ 'I didn’t even get to the worst part of your wound!’ He sighs heavily. 'You need to get a grip on something…’ you say, looking at some random object he could grab while you’re dealing with his wound. Nothing looks like it’s going to do it. 'Squeeze my arm’ you finally say. 'What? No! I don’t want to hurt you!’ he says with round eyes. 'I don’t mind, Remus! Just squeeze it and we are going to get over with this!’ You put his hand on your right arm as you reach for another imbibed cotton. 'I’m going to take care all of it, one shot, okay? Be ready…’ He doesn’t look reassured but he closes his eyes, waiting for the pain to seize him. As you apply the cotton on the wound again, you feel his whole body becoming stiff. He’s squeezing your arm too gently. His breathing becomes jerky and irregular. 'Squeeze my arm!’ you shout at him. You feel him grab you more tightly. You look at his face, his eyes still closes, his teeth still clenched. Sweat pearls at the birth of his hairline. 'A little bit more’ you say as you reach for the most profound part of his wound. He looks like he’s going to pass out. 'Grab my arm, Remus! Stay the fuck with me!’ you say as you feel his nails clenching into your skin. It hurts a lot but never like the pain Remus seems to endure right now. 'It’s over’ you say, throwing the cotton soaked with blood in the trash next to you. You wash your hands and see the water turning red down the sink. You feel Remus’ hand reaching for your burning arm. 'Shit, Y/N’ he says, looking at the red marks he did to you. 'It’s nothing’ you say, trying to smile to reassure him. 'It’s not, I didn’t realize, I’m sorry’ he says, distraught. 'Remus, I’m okay, really’ you add. You feel his warm breath on your face. There’s a strange feeling in your stomach. You grab the bandages on the counter as you start to apply one on the tip of the wound. Both saying nothing, there’s only the sound of the warm night that keeps you alert. You continue to put the bandages on his cut, and you’re almost finished. You apply yourself very gently as you finally covered every teared skin. Slowly, you slide your finger on his ribcage, like this only gesture is going to heal him. You know it’s not, but it’s stronger than you. 'There you go’ you whisper, still staring at the now dressed wound. You can’t pull your finger off his skin. 'Thank you, Y/N. Really… but you didn’t have to…’ Remus says, running his index on your burning arm. He looks like he feels sorry a lot. 'I wanted to’ you answer, running your finger on the old scar that crosses his chest. 'Don’t look at that’ he says, pulling his finger off from your arm. He gets off the counter and reaches slowly to his shirt. He tries to put it but it looks like this only move is hurting him. 'Let me help you’ you propose. 'I’m fine’ he says, trying to hide. 'Remus, I saw all of them. I don’t mind, let me help’ you say as you reach him. You take the shirt in your hands and you help him putting it back. 'Nobody should have to look at that.’ You roll your eyes. 'It’s just scars!’ 'Well, if you know why I get so many of them, I don’t know why you’re still standing in front of me. You should run, you should be disgusted!’ he says, running a hand in his hair, impatient. You feel sad. 'Remus’ you say, stepping in front of him. He sighs. 'You are not, in any way, disgusting. And these scars, it’s part of you. You shouldn’t be ashamed.’ He closes his eyes as you run your hand underneath his shirt. He steps away but you insist. 'See? There is nothing revolting there. Your skin, it’s so soft, actually’ you say, closing your eyes too. You hit a bumpy relief. 'And those, it’s just… really it’s just like a map’ you say, running your finger slowly up and up until you reach his heart. Both eyes closed, you feel your lips touching. You hear Remus sighs heavily as he grabs your hair and gets lost in the kiss. On the tip of your toes, you squeeze your body more unto him. Suddenly, your mouths are both opened and you let your tongue slide on the tip of his soft lips and he answers with his. You feel his long fingers searching for your skin as he lift up gently your shirt.
He stops abruptly, noticing Sirius’ t-shirt on your body.
'I shouldn’t be doing this’ he says, pushing you gently from him. 'I’m sorry.’ Confused, you look at him. 'Remus, I-’ 'I’m sorry, I should go’ he says, leaving the bathroom. You look at him grab his bag and he opens the door. 'Thanks for the bandages’ he says before disappearing behind the closed door.
requested: no. I needed to write Grayson’s laugh appreciation
note: this is unedited, so I apologize for any mistakes. It also got way longer than i planned … sorry?
The first thing you notice about
people is usually their eyes. Maybe their hair if you think it’s particularly
cute or you just like the colour – but mostly it’s their eyes. You feel like
that’s where you find honesty, because that’s where the layer of acting is
thinnest between the outside and one’s true feelings. And Gray has pretty eyes,
of course, all warm brown, sometimes so dark it’s almost black, sometimes
almost green when the sun hits them just right. The thick dark lashes framing
them should probably make his eyes seem very girlish but somehow they don’t. They
can be pretty distracting still, though.
Anyway, the point is his eyes weren’t
what you noticed first about him. Neither was it anything else to do with his
face or body – it wasn’t even his voice, strictly speaking. It was his laugh.
You remember looking at clothes in
some random store and being very bored because your brother was taking ages
picking out a snapback (“I don’t like this shade of red” “this one is a little
too big” “this one doesn’t feel right”). You were just about to remind him he
wasn’t committing himself to this snapback for life, it wasn’t a marriage or
anything, and that’s when you heard it. A barking laugh, almost hilariously high
pitched but undoubtedly a guy’s laugh, came from somewhere behind you. When you
turned around you saw two people standing by some t-shirts, one of them doubled
over and holding his stomach in a full on belly-laugh, the other standing
straight but smirking in a distracted but pleased way like making the other one
laugh like that was some sort of accomplishment, if a familiar one.
The one doubled over was bright red
when he straightened up again and his eyes seemed watery like he almost cried.
His mouth was wide open, two rows of teeth on full display, hair out of place –
he should’ve looked ridiculous. Instead you felt your face stretch into a matching
smile, because it didn’t matter what he was laughing about. He was radiating
and happy and bright and loud and glorious. The smirking one had seen you
watching them, smiling at them, and his smirk widened into a real smile as he
nodded to you.
On the way outside you had run into
them again, and Ethan had held the door open for you. Your brother had started
a casual conversation with them when you realized you were all walking in the
same direction and somehow you had ended up getting to know them better.
Since then you have witnessed Gray
bursting out in laughter like that a couple of more times and started
suspecting some addicting substance in it. To this day it never fails to make you
smile, no matter how bad you’re feeling, it just fills you with a tingly warmth
that spreads from your center to the tips of your fingers and you want it to never
end, never want him to stop filling the room with his laughter, bright and
sharp and loud and just perfect.
Ethan sometimes laughs the same way
but like with most things, he is a little more restrained than Gray, holds
himself back a little more. He loves making Grayson burst out in laughter,
though, and for some reason he always seems halfway surprised when he
accomplishes it like he didn’t expect it to come that easily.
So, okay, maybe you are more
invested in Gray’s laugh than you should but that’s also why you notice
immediately when it changes. The first bark that comes out is just like always
until it stops, the sound muffled behind his hand. You look up and see him in
his familiar pose, bent in half, hair falling into his eyes all scrunched up
and bright. Instead of being wrapped around his stomach, his hand is balled to
a fist and pressed to his mouth, effectively muffling his voice behind it.
Ethan has his feet propped up on the
desk next to the keyboard, legs crossed at the ankles, and is tapping away on
his phone, lips curling in that familiar, accomplished little smirk, but not
even lifting his eyes from the screen at the laugh of his brother sounding all
wrong. When you look back at Grayson, a tight, sinking feeling in your belly,
he has dropped his hand back into his lap and is gasping for breath, face red
as always. Maybe there’s something in your face or maybe your expression is
showing some of your thoughts, because his eyes flicker over your face and he
looks almost nervous.
You have no idea how to ask what is
on your mind, so you keep your mouth shut and hurry to smile at him like you
always do. He doesn’t look a hundred percent convinced.
Maybe it was a one-time-thing anyway.
It wasn’t, a few days later it
happens again. Gray covers his mouth, smothering his laugh before even the
first burst of laughter has a chance to come out, and you feel your stomach
coil tightly and a sinking feeling instead of the bubbly warmth that used to make
you feel like walking on cotton candy.
After the third time it happens you
start analysing every minute detail in each of the instances where Gray refused
to laugh the unrestrained way he did before … before what? It has got to have to do with the situation, the surroundings
in each of those instances. There has to be a way to find the root of this and
just get rid of it, so everything can go back to normal.
After some thinking you finally figure
it out. It doesn’t relieve you, though, because it’s you. Obviously it’s you, it has to be you. Every time he muffled
his laugh it had been one of your remarks, jokes or whatever it was you were
babbling about. Of course it’s you, how could it not. Your jokes are terrible,
and granted Ethan’s are sometimes as well, but then you’re not his twin
brother, are you. You’re just someone they sometimes like to hang out with
because – yeah, why exactly do they like hanging out with you? You’d thought it
was maybe because you don’t take things too seriously and you’re not that
easily annoyed when they joke about like two four-year-olds on a sugar-rush.
But apparently that can’t be it, since Ethan usually doesn’t laugh that loudly
or long in the first place and Gray seems to have realized you’re really not
that funny or entertaining, and laughing at your jokes only encourages you to
For some reason they don’t stop
inviting you over or ask you to come with grab food or a coffee or something. You
don’t really see the point but then they never need a reason to do anything,
they just do whatever comes to their minds and think about the consequences
later. You told them before that that’s why they keep sporting casts and
bandages, but Ethan had just scoffed “so?” and Grayson had ruffled your hair,
shrugging: “and where’s the fun in thinking about what could go wrong?” You’re
not worried, not really. You just don’t like seeing them in pain, that’s a
legitimate feeling, right?
You decide to make it easier for
Gray in particular and try and hold back any sarcastic comments or jokes that
might make him feel compelled to laugh. Once or twice you’re not quick enough
and something slips out, but it doesn’t get more than a chuckle or maybe an
elbow to your side, so at least the muffling doesn’t happen again. Gray doesn’t
seem to notice, if anything he seems louder and more energetic than before,
which is quite fun actually.
Ethan on the other hand gets pretty
quiet towards the end of your coffee-date and once or twice you catch him
staring at you contemplating over the rim of his paper cup, eyebrows drawn
together almost unnoticeably. He doesn’t look away, his eyes boring into yours
as if he’s trying to project his thoughts onto you, but you have no idea what
he’s trying to find out so you cough awkwardly and turn back to Gray gesticulating
wildly and almost knocking his own cup over while telling some story about almost
smashing his face while skateboarding. You nod and laugh when he looks at you
expectedly, lips stretching into a proud smile.
Later Ethan steps out of the car
when Gray drops you off at your place.
“Just a sec”, Ethan says before he
can ask anything. Gray narrows his eyes almost suspiciously and closes his
You look at Ethan questioningly but
he takes you by the elbow and guides you a few steps away from the truck, just
out of earshot from Grayson.
That’s … not what you were expecting
to hear after Ethan’s weird behaviour. “Uh. I think so, yeah.” Ethan’s eyes
narrow just a fraction but you know immediately he doesn’t believe you. Right.
You put your hands on your hips and thereby pull your elbow out of his grip. “Why?”
Ethan’s sad attempt at a nonchalant
shrug doesn’t exactly dissuade you. “Just. Y’know, you’re acting a bit
“How so?” You don’t mean to sound
this defensive but in this situation you can’t really be blamed. Not with Gray
sitting a few metres away in his truck, undoubtedly watching them in the rear
mirror, as clueless about this interaction as you are.
“You’re … I dunno. Quieter, I guess”,
he shrugs and scratches his neck, shooting you an almost puppy-like look from
under his lashes. He might’ve seemed apologetic had you not seen him give Gray
this look countless times before tickling him one more time. “You don’t – you don’t
seem so happy lately.”
He’s going to have to be more specific
than that. You silently lift your eyebrows.
“You don’t laugh anymore”, Ethan
finally says, impatience clear in his voice like he’s talking to a
“Yes I do”, you snort, trying to
bury that thought of oh shit, he’s
actually noticed under a thick layer of snark. “I don’t know what you’re on
Now it’s Ethan’s turn to lift his
eyebrows disbelievingly. “The question wasn’t if you do or don’t, the question
You’re unable to keep looking into
his eyes as you feel a prickling behind your lids and your throat closing up at
the thought of how maybe they don’t even really like you. Like, how do people
hang out with people they don’t find funny anyways? That’s not … you don’t pick
your friends like that, so how could you think they would be the same as you if
you’re such a good judge of character? You’re more disappointed by yourself
than by them (Grayson). But that hurt feeling? That’s not because of you, that’s
because of them (Grayson).
“s’not important”, you shrug. “I’ll
get over it.”
It’s stupid anyway, isn’t it? You
got upset because Gray was stifling his laugh, how stupid is that. You feel
hurt because they don’t think about you the way you thought they’d be thinking
about you. The way you think about them. You should just get over yourself.
Trying to shrug it off, you force a
smile and wave to Grayson in the mirror. The part of his face you can see in
the reflection seems incredibly confused. “Text me when you get back from New
“Hold on just a minute, you never
answered me”, he protests and takes hold of your wrist. His hand is big enough
for his fingers to overlap and for a split second you wonder if he can feel
your pulse fluttering. Ethan’s hands are the same size and shape as Grayson’s,
but Grayson’s feel a tad rougher, maybe half a degree warmer. It’s no use
trying to free yourself, you have tried that numerous times before and it only
worked when they allowed it.
“Just forget it, okay?”, you say and
try to keep the plea out of your voice. “I’ll – it’s fine, really.”
Ethan isn’t convinced but his hand
opens easily when you tug at it. With a last smile and wave over your shoulder
you rush up the stairs to your door. Later that night you feel bad about
brushing him off like that and shoot off a text before going to bed.
It’s really fine, E, didn’t mean to
Thanks for looking out for me, though
When you wake up your phone has
Don’t worry, s not a problem. Up for
Pizza next week?
You’ve forgotten all about Ethan
noticing much more than he’s supposed to, when you arrive at their doorstep
balancing pizzas on one arm, ringing the bell with the other, the next week. It’s
Gray who opens the door exclaiming “Pizza!” with that wide smile that used to
make you feel all warm and fuzzy but now feels like a punch in the gut. Instead
of taking the pizza from you Grayson decides the most practical way to get you
and the food inside is obviously to grab you and carry you inside while you
hold onto the pizza for dear life. The spots where his hands hold you and where
you’re pressed to his body feel on fire, like all your nerve ends are sizzling.
The rest of your body feels weirdly cold, like you’re most alive where he
When he puts you back onto your own
feet you have to take a moment to work through what just happened. Shaking your
head a little, since you feel like you have somehow gotten water stuck in your
ears which is slowing down your thought process, you set the pizza down on
their couch table and absentmindedly slap Ethan’s feet because those don’t
belong where your food is going to go.
“Movie and pizza?”, you guess
looking at the TV-screen Ethan’s eyes are glued to, that shows him flipping
through their movie collection. “Or Netflix?”
Ethan shrugs and Grayson brings
cutlery and coke from the kitchen. Grunting he makes his way between you and
Ethan, leans back and would’ve propped his feet up next to the pizza just like
Ethan had, if you hadn’t caught his ankle in time. For a second he looks at you
confused, before shrugging and putting his feet back to the ground again. While
you divide the pizzas you brought, Ethan picks out a movie – some action-comedy
you find actually quite funny. You’re too invested in your pizza
at first, but at each funny line Gray stifles his laugh again, either in his
hand or his pizza.
Once you notice you feel dumb. This
means, of course, that it’s not you or your stupid jokes. You were being self-centred
enough to think he would do this because of you. Which he obviously didn’t. It
also means you still don’t know why he started hiding his laugh, though.
You’re confused and distracted
enough to just blurt out: “Why do you laugh like that?” right in his face, only
to freeze the second your brain registers what your mouth just did. Gray also seems
frozen, teeth digging into his fist, hiding the smile behind it. His eyes
flicker over to you and you can see his whole face falling, every trace of
is grin gone within a second. Behind him you can see Ethan turning his head
towards you demonstratively slow, as though to say dafuq without uttering a word.
“I mean … I, that didn’t come out
right”, you mumble, your mind replaying your words. What a horrible thing to
say to someone. “I’m sorry, that’s not … I didn’t mean it like that. I just
meant to say, like, why … why d’you do that.” You gesture vaguely towards his
hand still hovering by his mouth. “You didn’t use to do that. And I just
wondered … well, y’know …?”
God, someone shut me up, please.
Gray still seems a bit thrown
off, but at least the hurt has gone mostly from his confused expression. He
still seems uncomfortably insecure, and you hate yourself a little bit for
putting that expression there.
“I – my laugh”, he replies seemingly
embarrassed as he pulls up his shoulders a fraction. “It’s like really aggreesive. Just comes
at you, y’know?”
You don’t see the problem. Is there
something to get from this? “Yeah. I know. So?”, you shrug.
Gray opens his mouth and his brows
furrow as he searches for words to say before he closes it again, glancing over
his shoulder to look to Ethan for help. Ethan has suddenly found something
extremely interesting on his phone, his fingers tapping away merrily even though
his eyes don’t move on the screen. The movie is still playing in the background
awkwardly when Grayson turns back to you. “Well. It’s annoying.”
“It’s not.” You feel heat spreading
up your neck and you have to sit back and stare straight ahead at the screen,
when you manage to get the words out: “I like it.” You can feel his eyes
drilling into the side of our face and when you glance over for a second Gray’s
eyes are so wide, if Ethan smacked him on the back of his head his eyeballs
might just fall right out. Your throat is a desert but you still manage to wave
into the general direction of his face and hand. “That. That’s … it’s weird.”
There’s an eternity of silence, you
can’t hear a word the characters on screen are saying and the awkwardness is practically seeping
from Ethan who hasn’t moved or even breathed for what feels like eons.
“Why?”, Gray finally asks. His voice
his slightly scratchy but his tone is calm, almost soft. You have your response
at the tip of your tongue but they seem frozen under an icy layer of what ifs and what if nots. Instead of speaking you start chewing your bottom
lip, still staring straight ahead and kneading your hands in your lap. It’s too
cold in here but you can feel how sweaty your palms are.
“I’ll, uh, just. ‘m gonna get some
water”, Ethan chimes up and jumps to his feet so quickly you almost flinch. A
less smooth exit might only have been accomplished if he’d tripped over his
feet in his hurry to leave the living room.
When he’s gone, there’s suddenly too
much space in the room, too many words to fill it, too many ways this will go wrong. Your face feels about ready
to burst into flames and Grayson still hasn’t moved his eyes off of you for one
“I like it when you’re happy”, is
what ends up coming out of your mouth, hardly more than whisper. And no, that’s
not quite it. Why can’t you think before you talk, just this once. “I mean”,
you say slowly, deliberately, even though you’re still unable to make eye
contact. You can see his hand lying on his thigh, centimetres away from where
you knotted your fingers together. “I want you to be happy.”
There is a moment of silence and
then, all of a sudden, the tension in the air is just gone. From the corner of
your eye you can see him tilting his head to the side and your mouth is doing
that thing again, where it curls into a smile without your consent.
“Yeah?”, Gray asks and the teasing
undertone isn’t even remotely hidden.
You groan and let yourself sag to
the side until your face is buried between his shoulder and collarbone. His
sweater smells of cologne and pizza and Gray.
He snorts and when there’s a brush
of skin at your hands you don’t even think about sweaty palms, you just uncurl your hands and blindly reach for his. You have held his hand before, but this time
it’s different. His palms are still kind of rough but somehow this time his
hold feels so much softer than before, the warmth from his palm seeping through
the tips of his fingers into you.
“You want me to be happy?”, he
repeats, smugness clear in his voice. You groan into his shoulder again and bite
into his sweater. He chuckles and his fingers squeeze your hand.
“I meant to say ‘I like you’, but
now I’m pretty sure I might’ve confused ‘like’ with ‘loathe’”, you grumble into
his sweater and turn your head enough to have only half of your face buried in
fabric anymore. “My bad.”
This time it’s not a chuckle, it’s a
full on laugh and even though you can’t see his face you know the way his eyes
are scrunched up right now. And it’s not the same, it’s not the same feeling from
a few weeks ago that rushes through you at the sound. This is more like an
electric shock that zings through your veins and makes your fingertips prickle,
a sizzling heat running down your spine.
Grayson lifts your entwined hands,
his thumb rubbing slow circles over the back of your hand. “So. This?”
You stare at the way your skin tones
blend with each other, the way your fingers look small between his giant hands,
the way your palms fit together so easily like they knew all along this was how
it was going to end. “This.”
“Yeah, this.” Both of you almost get
whiplash from the way your heads snap to the doorway to the kitchen where Ethan
is standing, his phone in one hand, leaning against the doorframe on the other
one. He is shaking his head, curls flopping over his eyes as he looks at the two
of you like a disappointed father. “This is probably the most awkward thing I have
ever witnessed. Never ever do that again, please, or I might actually die from
He dodges the pillow Gray throws at
him easily and vanishes down the hallway, a manic giggle echoing behind him.
- a microwaveable TV dinner for two
- “bone apple titties!” (Bon appetit)
- opens up a bottle of exclusive, pure tree-grown grape juice
- is not getting the succ
- s/o ends up cooking
- yugyeom decides to eat the two meals anyway
- “So what it’s a kids meal!”
- throws a fit since his S/O is disappointed every time he ‘cooks’
- doesn’t know how to operate a stove
- makes his S/O suffer by making them reach for their food
- mr. organic
- actually can cook but is too afraid
- screams while frying the food since the oil starts popping
- burns his organic & non-GMO chicken dish
- “is the smoke in the air supposed to be black?”
- has no shirt on while he cooks
- loud because he’s Jackson
- requests for his S/O to call him ‘Chef Daddy’
- pours red wine in a glass out on the patio of Paris
- forces S/O to taste the food just in case to see who it might poison first
- tries to be sexy while he brings out the food but falls over
- “I’m not cooking wtf.”
- actually ends up cooking
- looks online at some random recipe and throws everything together
- is afraid of high heat and yells “Oh my goodness!” Every time the grease pops
- has on an oversized hoodie as he cooks with his S/O admiring him
- probably made burgers or something simple
- “Say ahh.” he would say trying to feed them
- feeds his S/O because it’s cute
- has a conversation over random things while he laughs loudly
- the smell of burnt casserole can be smelled everywhere
- almost burns the house down
- forces his S/O to dab with him or they get no food
- takes out wine so he can seem more adult
- does failed aegyo
- ends up ordering fast food since he can’t cook anything but convenience store ramen
- “So I’m sitting here with barbecue sauce on my titties..” he would say at the table reminiscing what he and Yugyeom were doing yesterday while he eats his food
- shoves food down his S/O’s throat while attempting to do a ‘couples thing’
- “this is youngjae dinner!”
- makes breakfast for dinner
- the setup of the breakfast is in a smiley face
- is very adorable unintentionally
- says 'tada!’ when he finishes it which warms his S/O’s heart
- gives them orange juice and a side of fruit
- feeds them while barely eating
- constantly giving small innocent pecks on their face which makes them blush
- makes their S/O seem like the luckiest person ever
- food is bomb as heck
- “So like…what chu tryna eat?”
- ends up making fried chicken (who would’ve knew?)
- has no shirt on revealing his broad muscular shoulders and body
- always makes his S/O blush and feel 'needy’
- makes his S/O make room for Nora, Kunta, Odd and 12 other stray cats he found on the road last week
- takes glances at them here and there while smirking
- talks about mountains and gives really intense life lessons while they eat
- a true old grandpa cat man
- doesn’t feed his S/O or has time for aegyo since it’s stupid to him
- steak and potatoes with wine
- his S/O and him are most likely in another country
- lights are dimmed in the fancy dining room
- makes sure his S/O eats before him
- food is cooked to perfection
- admires them as he eats his food
- a true babe
- discusses why his S/O should read books more often
- ends up being savage
- “You know, you can cook sometimes too, right? I’m not about to do every damn thing!”
This text post is not limited to just the members only being with females since I see mainly the members having their S/O as a woman. They are entitled to whatever it is they prefer. 🏳️🌈
Synopsis: Peter wants to ask you to the dance, but can never quite finish what he has to say.
Warnings: Nothing! This is quite fluffy :)
A/N: Hey! This is my first fic so please excuse how messy it is! I just kind of came up with the idea for this suddenly and just rolled with it. Hopefully, it isn’t too bad :/. Any feedback would be much appreciated! And if you actually like my writing then I’ll be taking requests :)
“So- I was wondering- if you’d- well- maybe- uh gotothedancewithme?”
“I’m sorry what was that Peter?” You said as you looked up from your phone. “Michelle was just sending me pictures of her biology notes.”
Peter sighed and shook his head.
“Don’t worry about it (Y/N).” He mumbled and quickly away from your locker.
You looked at him walking away, confused. For the past few days, Peter had been talking to you at the strangest of times.
Firstly, in History on Monday he leaned over and whispered something in your ear. You had only caught a few words so you had turned around and asked him to repeat what he said. He just shook his head. You shrugged it off and turned back around.
Next, on Tuesday, you were in Gym class playing dodge ball. Whilst trying to avoid flash’s deadly throws Peter had wandered up behind you.
“Hey (Y/N) can I ask you something?”
“You just did.” You said, smiling. “But anyway what’s up?”
“I was wondering if I- well if you would- only if you want to-” Peter began.
Your hand reached up to your head automatically at the memory. Flash really needs to learn how to throw softer.
“Oh my goodness (Y/N)! Are you alright?” Peter exclaimed, hands reaching up to your face.
“I’m fine, I’m fine Peter.” You replied, walking away to sit on the bench.
“Are you sure? I feel like Flash meant that for me.” Peter said.
“Peter don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine!” You assured him.
You sat down on the bench and Peter sat beside you. His hand reached up and touched your cheek lightly. You looked at him and smiled.
“What were you saying before Peter?” You asked.
“Oh right! I was going to ask-”
“PARKER GET BACK IN THE GAME! YOU DID NOT GET OUT YET!” Coach shouted at Peter.
Peter sighed and got up and walked back into the game. You wondered what he was going to say when a sharp pain shot through your head and you forgot about Peter for the moment.
Peter’s sweet words and acts always surprised you. You had been friends since the start of high school and he had been nothing but kind to you. You never argued with him, never got annoyed by him. He was the one you could go to with any problem. And recently he was making your heart flutter. Over the past few weeks, Peter’s touch always caused your cheeks to turn a light shade of red. Whenever you heard his voice you look up automatically in order to find him. His laugh was one of the sweetest things you’d ever heard. Oh, and those eyes. You could just lose yourself in them.
The bell rang and you were pulled out of your thoughts. You walked down to Chemistry. The class that Peter had tried to ask you something once again.
Yesterday, on Wednesday afternoon, Peter had partnered up with you in Chemistry to complete the experiment your teacher had set. It was a particularly complicated experiment and you were glad Peter had paired up with you as he was much better at Chemistry than you.
Halfway through the experiment whilst you were holding a beaker of some kind of dangerous chemical, Peter leaned over and attempted to ask you something once more.
“Could you have me that beaker you’re holding (Y/N)?”
“Sure thing Peter. What even is our end goal here?” You asked in a confused voice.
“Well once I get the right amount of Hydrochloric acid to add to this sodium hydroxide solution, I’ll be able to neutralise the mixture. Cause you know, the hydrogen ions will join with the hydroxide ions to produce water.” Peter stated confidently.
You raised an eyebrow and smirked. This boy was way too smart and he knew it.
“Right… I’m just going to let you stay in charge of this experiment Einstein.” You said.
Peter blushed and quickly turned back to the experiment to pour the contents of your beaker into the one on the table. The blue mixture turned green which indicated that the experiment had worked. You knew that at least.
“Well done you two! The first pair done!” Your chemistry teacher said as she walked by your table.
“I have to say that it was mostly Peter Miss. I’m just his glamorous assistant!” You replied.
Your teacher chuckled before walking over to the next table. You looked over to Peter to find him already staring. Now it was your turn to blush.
“What’s up Peter?” You asked quietly.
“I- um- I’ve been trying to ask for a while but now seems like to the perfect time to ask.” Peter whispered, looking down at his shoes.
You placed your finger underneath his chin and lifted his head up to he was looking at you properly. He opened his mouth to speak before being interrupted by the sound of smashing glass from across the classroom. You both turned to see Flash and Ned standing in front of your teacher, having some sort of disagreement over whose fault it was. You rolled your eyes and turned back to Peter.
“What were you saying, Peter?”
“Nevermind.” He muttered. “I’m going to go help Ned clear up the mess.”
Peter walked away from you and over to Ned, who had unfortunately been the one your teacher had deemed responsible for the accident.
You sighed. Now you could only think of the possibilities of what Peter wanted to ask you. Clearly, something important if he kept trying to ask you. Last night your imagination had created so many scenarios of what it could be. You had woken up this Thursday morning from a dream of Peter asking you to homecoming. You shook your head at the thought of the dream. Despite the fact that you would happily accept his offer you were sure Peter only saw you as a friend. He was probably going to ask you to help him create a plan to ask Liz Allen or Michelle to homecoming. You thought of asking Ned about what Peter keeps trying to ask you. He probably knows.
As you approached the Chemistry classroom you saw Ned walking up to the classroom as well. You rushed forward and tapped him on the shoulder.
“Oh hey (Y/N)!” Ned greeted you.
“Hey Ned. I was wondering if I could ask you something about Peter?” You said.
“Sure go ahead.” Ned answered, a slightly puzzled look on his face.
“Well since Monday, Peter has been trying to ask me a question. But I don’t know what that question is because whenever he tries to say it to me something happens and he never finishes what he was going to say.” You explained. “So, I was wondering if you knew what he going to say so I could just give him an answer when I next see him?”
“Oh yeah, he wants to know if you’ll go to homecoming with him.” Ned replied casually.
“WHAT?!” You exclaimed.
Ned’s eyes widened suddenly, realising what he had just said. You felt your face turning red. Peter wanted to take you to homecoming? He actually wanted to take you? You took a deep breath and looked at Ned, who was looking at you nervously.
“I was not meant to say that. Please do not tell Peter I told you that!” Ned blurted out.
“Tell me what?”
You and Ned both looked around and saw Peter standing beside you a confused look upon his face. You turned around instantly and rushed into the classroom. What on earth were you going to say to him now that you knew what he wanted to ask you? If he wants to take you to homecoming… does that mean he likes you? You sat down in your place and rubbed your temples. This was way too much to take in.
You froze as you felt Peter take his place next to you. You pretended to be looking down at some random notes in your chemistry book.
“Are those notes really that interesting?” You heard Peter ask jokingly.
You shook your head, not looking up. Peter sighed. He needed to ask you to homecoming before the day ends. He had tried to ask you this morning but you hadn’t heard him once again. Something always happened or got in the way of him asking you. He wanted to take you so badly. It could be the night that he asks you to be his girlfriend. Peter had wanted you to be his since the day of decathlon nationals. Neither of you could sleep the night before the day of the competition, so you decided to take a midnight swim in the hotel pool. That night was one of the best moments in his life. From the moment you walked out of your hotel room in a deep purple swimsuit that accentuated your body in all the right places he hadn’t been able to look at you without the feeling of butterflies in his stomach. He remembered when you had been too scared to let go of the edge of the pool at the deeper end, so he placed his hands around your waist and held you close as you floated in the pool. Peter replayed that moment in his head more than enough times. He wanted to hold you that close again. He had to hold you that close again.
“What is it (Y/N)?” Peter asked, turning to you.
“My answer is yes.” You said, your cheeks heating up.
“Huh?” Peter looked at you with a puzzled expression. “What do you mean?”
“The question you’ve been trying to ask me over the past couple of days. My answer is yes.”
Peter’s face turned as red as you imagined yours currently was. His mouth hung open slightly and his eyes were wide. You smiled sweetly at him, hoping that he hadn’t changed his mind about taking you to homecoming.
“How did you-” Peter began.
“Ned. You know he can’t keep a secret.” You interrupted him, laughing lightly.
“I don’t know whether to thank him or punch him right now.” Peter glared over at Ned who was currently having some sort of heated discussion with Flash, whilst Michelle filmed it.
“I- uh- hope the offer is still available.” You said.
Peter turned back to you, a huge grin on his face. He grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips. Peter kissed your hand gently and you felt your face heat up. You lowered your hand down from Peter’s face and leaned in slowly. Peter froze, as you pressed your lips against his. Peter’s eyes were wide but they quickly closed as he felt your start to pull away. He placed his hand on your neck and held you in your place. You tasted a mixture of peppermint and apple on Peter’s lips whilst his free hand made its way to your waist. He pulled away and rested his forehead against yours.
Some people seemed interested in my method for astral travel (mind you, I define astral travel as transporting your consciousness to the astral plane, not as an out-of-body-experience like astral projection) so here I go!
Note: This is entirely based off my personal experience. YMMV. And I always encourage taking everything with a grain of salt, even when I write it. Ok? Cool. Now let’s get to this.
Step One: Safety
There are dangers in the astral. When I first started out, I was tricked by several malicious spirits and straight-up attacked by one. That’s a story for another day though. The important thing is that you learn from my mistakes and take precautions before traveling.
I don’t like giving out the exact details of my protections, but there are three key parts to it. Passive protections in my physical space, active protections on myself, and more passive protections in my astral space.
The passive physical protections include sigils for safety, crystals that absorb negativity, and a decoy poppet of myself designed to take the blow if any entity comes after me. Windows, doors, vents, and and other entry points to my space get special attention. I recharge and cleanse these things every month or so. New moons are good for this if you want to keep a schedule.
I do some shielding on myself each time I’m about to travel. I also wear protective jewelry. I charge and activate these every single time.
Inside the astral, I set up a perimeter of sigils and shields in my space to keep out any entity that wishes me harm and prevents them from lying about their identity. This can be difficult when you’re just starting out, but it’s worth it. If you’re able to create objects in the astral, you can do this to work full spells within the astral to protect yourself.
Be sure to read up on interacting with spirits beforehand as well.
Step Two: Relaxing and Letting Energy Flow
I make sure I’m as comfortable as possible when I astral travel. It keeps me from being too aware of my physical body. Normally I lay on my back or even my stomach, as if I’m going to sleep. When I first started, I also listened to nature sounds to calm me.
It’s a bit like meditating at first. I focus on my breathing and avoiding distracting thoughts. Once I get rid of whatever song was probably playing in my head and feel my body sinking into the mattress, I work on my energy flow.
For a few moments, I pause to let myself feel my energy. I like to visualize it as a river running through my body. Then, starting from the soles of my feet and moving up my body, I start checking for anywhere it’s not flowing smoothly. It’s a gut feeling thing. If part of that energy river feels wrong, I fix it. Typically I imagine the block as a big chunk of ice in the river, and I visualize fire melting it away.
I do the same melting ice visualization for any sore parts of my body that might be bothering me. I have some chronic pain issues, so this doesn’t take that pain away completely, but it helps me put it in the back of my mind for a while.
Step 3: Separating Energy from the Body
Once my energy is flowing freely, I keep a small part of my mind focused on that feeling while I move on to the next step.
Using your five senses in the astral takes practice, and for me it also takes a short warm-up before I go in. With my eyes still closed, I “look” at my room in my mind’s eye, from the same angle I would see it from where I’m laying. I take care to add every detail.
Once I’m sure I’ve recreated my space fairly well, I finally move my energy out of my body. I picture myself sitting up in bed, standing up, and stepping into the picture of my room I’ve created in my mind. It usually takes a couple of tries. I’ll pace around and touch things, focusing on what they should feel like, until my awareness of my physical body fades into the background.
Warning: As somebody with multiple mental illnesses who often dissociates, I can say from experience that this step can occasionally trigger my dissociation. If you start feeling wrong, immediately stop and ground, do any reality checks you may have, and eat something. You can try again later, but don’t push it if it’s harmful to you.
Step 4: The Door
It’s finally time to enter the astral. Note that, with practice, the first three steps only take a few minutes.
This was a piece of advice I saw ages ago. I don’t remember who said it, but I’ve seen it passed around quite a bit. When you’re ready to step into the astral, imagine a door that will lead you there. Don’t try to force the appearance of the door. Mine is the standard cheap white one that most modern houses seem to have. Some people have more ornate doors, and a few even have weird sci-fi ones. Just let the door exist in whatever way your subconscious sees fit.
I place my hand on the doorknob, take a second to feel the cool metal to continue adjusting to feeling things with my energy body, then open the door and step inside.
Step 5: Astral or Imagination?
Sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference between the actual astral plane and your own imagination. I like to do a quick test to make sure I’ve actually made it.
The astral has rules that your imagination doesn’t. My go-to test is to look at some random sturdy object and try to force it to bend with my mind. In my imagination, the sturdiest tree will tie itself in knots if I want it to. But in the astral, that tree won’t budge. I simply don’t have that level of control.
A lot of people attempt to fly if their astral body can’t already do so. Over time, you could also develop your own tests that work better for you.
Step 6: One Last Part About Touching Everything for Some Reason
Yes, I already talked about touching everything in my room before entering the astral. But I do like to do this one more time once I’m actually there. The first thing I do after my tests is wiggle my toes in the dirt. Then I feel the bark on the trees in my astral space, listen to the creek and the birds, and smell that unique forest smell. This would obviously be different if you’re not in a forest, but it really does help me stay in the right mindset. Plus it’s just neat to be able to feel things that don’t exist in the tiny apartment I’m traveling from.
Step 7: Enjoy!
At this point, I’m there. I have a sort of home base in the woods where I first entered the astral, and I spend a lot of time there, but I can come and go as I please. The rest is just a matter of practice.
• Your astral body may or may not look like your physical body. Some people have wings or tails, some people have an entirely different face, some aren’t even human, and others look completely the same.
• In the astral, I can easily create new objects and manipulate them, but anything that already existed before I got there is set in stone. Some areas of the astral have different rules, however.
• I want to reiterate that spirits may find you, and many can and will lie. Stay on your toes.
• Sometimes my physical body has odd little twitches while I travel. Nothing major, but it feels like my body is attempting to make the movements I’m making in the astral.
• When leaving the astral, I just walk back through the door into my room, then wiggle my fingers and toes until I feel like I can comfortably move the rest of my body. It helps to ground and get a snack after I come back.
If anybody has further questions about my astral experiences or what I do once I’m there, feel free to ask!
a;lkdjf had a few minutes to breathe so thought i’d look at some random shit on buzzfeed to just zone out for a min. ooh look, an article about pretty bedrooms, that should be some mindless aestheticy goodness to look at for a–oh no
it’s the east wind wallpaper
i can’t escape
wherever i go, whatever i do, it always comes back to sherlock
hey look some main four random headcanons that no one actually asked for and are probably really crappy but hey check ‘em out
Killua has tried to convince Gon and Alluka to help him build a palace of chocolate. If it weren’t for Leorio and Kurapika, they would have been flooded in a sea of melted chocolate, but it would have totally been worth it.
The only fashion trend that Gon actually caught was the mismatched socks and he keeps doing it and Killua HATES IT WHY GON WHY
I’m like 95% sure that when Father’s Day comes along, Gon and Killua just get Leorio presents or whatever they do on Father’s Day because their dads honestly weren’t the best. I mean, Gon calls Ging by his first name, and Silver tried to force Killua to be an assassin, c’mon. Still, Leorio is the closest thing to a father (or I guess he could be considered an older brother because he’s only like seven years older than them) to them that either of them have ever had.
Kurapika would know how to dance all traditionally and stuff, you know how they have all those sorts of dancing in anime that I still can’t find the name for.
I really don’t want Kurapika’s hair to get any longer, but honestly, I can see him having those long flowing bishie locks. He’s still prettier than me, let’s be real here.
As Gon and Killua grow up, Leorio is constantly on the watch to make sure that they don’t grow taller than him. Kurapika just laughs and sighs because he’s stuck at his height anyway.
Since Killua’s footsteps are basically silent, he’ll scare the living daylights out of the anyone who’s deep in thought. Whether he knows them or not. I have a feeling Kurapika has fallen victim to this on multiple occasions.
Everyone knows about Killua’s love of chocolate, but no one really talks about how much Leorio depends on coffee. Honestly, with med school and everything else he does in his life, the man just needs a cup. Ten bucks says he drinks it black.
Kurapika hates black coffee and needs to add sugar to his. Or just drinks tea…
GON. THIS LIL FLUFF BALL. I SWEAR THIS KID JUST HAS ANIMALS FOLLOWING HIM AROUND THROUGH TOWNS IN STRAIGHT LINES AND EVERYONE JUST STARES IN AWE. LIKE KIDS JUST RUN UP TO THEM TO TRY TO PET THEM AND THEY’LL TRY TO RUN BUT GON LITERALLY JUST ASKS THEM TO STAY AND THEY DO.
Now, if we’re talking about singing voices because I love music…
Gon probably just yells for the most part, but he hits the right notes? (( think Luffy during the Skypiea )) He gets the beat right, so he might try rapping or beatboxing or something, but he doesn’t really sing that much in the first place. When he does sing, it’s always happy, upbeat songs.
Leorio is a professional jazz singer and saxophone player and no one can tell me otherwise fight me
Kurapika doesn’t really sing that much with other people around, but if you do catch him singing, it’s usually ballads. And his voice is so smooth and nice~ sometimes, he’ll sing some traditional Kurta songs but those usually make him remember, which either makes him sad or angry.
Killua raps. No questions in my mind. This kid puts on that cool front and just lets out all of his emotions and thoughts in the form of rap, occasionally with Gon either beatboxing or rapping with him. But honestly, he also probably sings ballads on the rarest of occasions. Like, lullabies for Alluka, or a sad song when he needs one.
As he grows older, Gon will probably disappear to places without telling anyone, and he’ll go missing for like two weeks and come back having founded a town and he was made mayor in some random forest that he was strolling through and he’s dressed like caveman, but I guarantee you that Killua always finds him and Gon tells him all about his adventures.
I need fluff y’all. I need happiness and joy (( dAVIE )) in this time of hiatus.
This guys go on road trips sometimes (also with Alluka, because she be precious) and obviously, Leorio drives and Kurapika navigates and Killua, Alluka, and Gon are in the back either messing around and playing games. Sometimes, Alluka and Gon fall asleep and Killua just stares at them and out of the window and looks back on how lucky he’s been.
Killua listens (or at least listened to) Marianas Trench because he’s like that and I also love them they’re my favorite band, so this is also kinda a little shout out, you should go check them out some time, y’all.
- Admin L
(Casually throws in a my little snippets)
You cannot convince me that there was never a prank war between the main four. Like, come on.
Probably a given, but don’t give Gon coffee.
Kurapika likes dark chocolate, and Killua can’t comprehend why. Like, it’s so bitter? Milk chocolate is the only true chocolate.
Killua eventually gets used to eating dark chocolate and retracts his former statement.
On Father’s Day, if Leorio knows where Ging is, he’ll find Ging and just ever so lightly punch his face in again. This rarely ever happens, though, since it’s so freaking hard to find Ging.
I was looking at some random group pic from las year that was on my tl, it's from their bs&t promo and Jimin was sitting on Jungkook's lap... Can we talk about how smug he looks every time Jimin sits on his lap? Like? He gets this weird big ass smirk and looks the camera like "yeah this my hyung he's mine lalala" y'know like small kid. Idk but it's funny
That wasn’t just any random group pic, though. That pic was taken on Jimin’s birthday. Jimin sat on Jungkook’s lap like that, with Jungkook looking like that, on his birthday. Like ?? that makes it so cute ??
Jimin: He would be shy, wanting to hold your hand but not really dare too. He will watch you more than he watches the movies. When you catch him watching you, he gets all shy and try to look away, but you grab his hand and continue looking at the movie, and he would sit there with a content grin on his face.
V: Since the two of you were watching his new drama you would cheer a lot, and he would smile with you, embarrassed but glad that you enjoyed his work. He would hug you a lot during the drama, especially when he was on screen to hide behind you.
Rapmonster: He would be super caught up in the new movie you were watching, and talking his way through it, asking all kinds of questions. “Like, I wonder how they did that, and what if they had done it this way..” Those kinds of question pondered his mind, as he snuggled a Ryan bear instead of you.
I realise I’ve already done a drabble based on this prompt, but @good-vibes-7 requested a different hook. So here we are with 4.2!!!
Prompt: “Kiss me.”
The week could not possibly get any worse. Surely it couldn’t. Monday had started with a heated argument between Hermione and Ron that had left Ron fuming to his current girlfriend, Lav-Lav. Hermione was sinking into a pit of self-righteous despair, completely unwilling to apologize for something that, even by rather loose standards, she was 100% in the right. Poor Harry was trapped on the middle once again, trying to juggle supporting both of his friends and struggling.
Hermione had assured him that she was fine. That she had plenty of projects she could occupy her time with until Ronald had decided to dislodge his over large head from up Lavender’s posterior. Harry had given a combination chuckle and shudder at the mental image, shooting a grin at Hermione and patting her shoulder before running off after his other best friend.
Which left Hermione utterly alone, again. Of course, in the library. Which was normally just fine, really. The library was usually a place of peace and solitude for her. But today she had no such luck. She had been bent over her project for Ancient Runes, translating a particularly advanced section, when she heard a rather unkind bout of snickering begin at another table nearby. Hermione closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, knowing just who it was before she even bothered to glance up.
Much to her displeasure, three tables down sat Malfoy, Pansy, Nott, Zabini, Crabbe and Goyle cluttered together and eyeing her with a vicious glee on their faces. Hermione did her best not to react and simply looked back down to her homework. This tactic did not save her, sadly.
“Aaww, poor ickle Gryffindor all tucked away in the library all alone,” Hermione heard the grating whine of the pug-faced Pansy stage whispering in her direction. “What’s the matter, Mudblood? Too swotty for your so called friends to want to be around you again?”
Hermione gripped her quill tighter in her fingers, doing her best to remain unfazed. However unconvincing she was.
“It’s no wonder! You can smell her filthy blood from here, can’t you?” Malfoy drawled. “It’s a wonder either of the boys can stomach her presence at all.”
Pansy let out a simpering chuckle at the blondes joke before adding, “It’d be a miracle if she even managed to snag one of those putrid boys for her own.”
Hermione blinked, her eyes beginning to sting. The taunting would not have bothered her so much if it had not become so obvious time and again how neither Harry or Ron viewed her as a female, save as a last resort. Didn’t really do much for her confidence at all. She had just reached for her book when she felt two simultaneous jostles on the bench either side of her. She looked to her right to find George, nose stuck in a book, leaning towards her to bump her shoulder with his own. “Mornin’,” he spoke before a hand reached out to draw her face in the other direction.
Fred sat facing her, a decidedly mischievous grin on his face. “Mornin’, Love. Didn’t leave you waiting long, hmm?”
Hermione blinked at him, confused, but his grin only widened and he lifted his brow as though trying to communicate some secret to her. “N-no. I was just finishing up this chapter, so it was good timing.”
Fred nodded, his fingers still trailing lightly over her jaw bone, sending icy hot shivers down Hermione’s spine. <i>‘What a curious reaction,</i> she thought to herself. <i>‘Especially in response to his touch…’</i> “I’m glad to here it,” Fred said, leaning closer towards her. Hermione reached up to pull his hand from his face, but he clutched at her fingers and held them firm against the table before her, in plain sight. Before Hermione had a chance to become even more confused, Fred clued her in to his mischief.
“Kiss me,” he murmured so softly Hermione could barely hear.
She had to make a conscious effort to not let her jaw drop as she heard a soft chuckle coming from the twin behind her. “Wha-?” she wondered before she was interrupted.
“C'mon, Granger,” Fred murmured, close enough now that their shoulders pressed together. “Our dear baby brother is acting a right part anf isn’t here to support you when you could use it.”
George spoke then. “They think you can’t get a willing companion? Well, Freddie here is offering one of the most handsome…”
“…eligable twins there are here at the school right now. At your service to shut the traps of these arseholes.” Fred tilted his head to one side, his face only inches away from Hermione’s.
“So what do ya say, Granger?” George interjected before Fred lifted his fingers to her jaw again.
Hermione held Fred’s gaze for a moment, knowing the group of Slytherins were still watching, mouths probably agape at the current hoings-on. She gnawed on her bottom lip for a moment before making a decision and leaning forward to bring her lips tentatively to Fred’s. She could hear the gasp from Pansy and a low whistle from whom she assumed was Theodore Nott, but neither sound was able to distract her from the slight movement from Fred that allowed him to slot his lips perfectly against hers. He allowed her only a moment’s nervousness before deepening the kiss, reaching out with lips and teeth and tongue in a way that left her weak.
She was grateful she had started out sitting down.
After a few charged moments Fred pulled back, his cocky grin firmly in place as he looked over her expression. George cleared his throat and had begun clearing up Hermione’s study supplies and was standing to go, her back hooked over his shoulder. “C'mon, Love birds. Places to go, people to prank.”
Fred stood with a nod, taking hold of Hermione’s hand and helping her up. Once standing, Hermione found her shoulders draped over by Fred’s arm as the twins escorted her out of the library, the Slytherins staring in varying states of shock or disgust, Nott waving his hand before his face as though fanning himself, teasing grin on his own face as he looked back to Malfoy.
Four days later and Hermione was <i>still</i> driven to distraction by the memory of that kiss ghosting over her lips. It had left her uncertain and confused. Since then she had noticed her eyes drawn to Fred the moment he walked in the door. She could hardly drag her attention from him until he caught her staring. And he did. Every. Time. And he would shoot her another cheeky grin and wink, leaving her blushing with embarrassment and a desire to wipe that smirk of his lips with her own.
Finally she had had enough. She couldn’t focus, and she knew she would be able to get anything done until she had confronted this and had heard from him directly that the kiss had no lasting meaning. That it was indeed just a taunt in the direction of the Slytherins and nothing more. She had gone looking for the twins and had found them coming back to the dorms from the kitchens. One look at her caused them to pause, Fred leaning forward to look up at her face from a different angle. “You alright there, Granger?” he asked, using his most disarming tone in an attempt to sooth the frustration that must have been clear on her face.
Hermione glanced between the two of them before replying. “Could I speak to you for a moment, Fred? Privately?”
Fred straightened up, his brow raised in surprise to look to his brother. George, on the other hand, clapped Fred on the shoulder with a pointed look and a smile before taking of to the dorms by himself. Fred looked down curiously at Hermione, watching her fidget for a few moments before taking her hand and guiding her to any empty classroom. He paused by a window, leaning back against the sill before turning back to the bushy-haired witch. “So, my darling Granger. What’s eating at you?”
Hermione took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before beginning. “I was just…I wanted to ask about the other day, in the library?”
Fred’s grin widened. “Oh? What specifically about that day, Granger? I had a lot of stuff going on. You’ll have to be more specific.”
Hermione rolled her eyes and shot an exasperated glance his way. “The kiss, Fred.”
“Oh! The kiss!” he repeated. “Yes, that. What about that, Love?”
Hermione cleared her throat and shifted from one foot to the other, finding it inexplicably difficult to meet the wizard’s eyes. But Hermione was anything other than a coward, so she tilted her chin up and spoke in as matter of factly as she could. 'I wanted to thank you. For assisting me with my situation that day. I know it was just for show, but…“
“I don’t start something like that just for show, 'Mione,” Fred interrupted. She blinked up at him, her shocked expression surveying his humorless one. She’d never seen him look so serious before.
“You…You mean, you…?”
“I mean to say that I asked because I wanted to, and would not mind partaking again. On numerous occasions in fact.”
Hermione audibly swallowed at that barely able to get her thoughts out. “I…I’m not going to be your random, hidden snog, Fred…” She began before he shook his head at her.
“Not looking for some random snog. Kinda hoping for something a bit more…Exclusive.” Hermione noticed that, even though his cockiness was slowly beginning to return, there was a touch of nervousness behind his eyes.
Hermione shook her head slowly, shock still the most prominent of her emotions. “You. You want exclusivity?” Fred nodded silently at the question. “With me?” Hermione asked, receiving another nod in response. The young witch reached up to rest a curled finger against her lips in thought.
“Only if you want it, Hermione. I’m not interested in just putting on a show with this.” Fred’s voice was smooth and calm, but when Hermione looked over his face, she could see his worry there. He was concerned he would be rejected. That she would not take him seriously, or give him a chance. Hermione thought back at the over flowing warmth that had radiated through her at his touch in the library, and found she desperately wanted more of the same.
She took a couple steps forward, until she stood so close to Fred that they were almost touching. Hermione tilted her head back in order to survey Fred’s face once more before she made a decision that would change the remainder of her school year for the better.
can i request akira,ryuji, ann and makoto, dealing with a blind s/o? like those little things that we see in movies the blind person slowly touching their face to "see" them, and this s/o is also a phantom thief, but they can see because of their persona who works like a sonar(you can think of mitsuru on p3) and the format i want is hc ok?
I decided to combine these two requests together since they’re talking about the same topic!
I’ll be having fun with this one, time for some fluffiness and possibly epicness from the blind S/O.
I spent a bit of time researching more information on the blind, I hope this is accurate!
NOTE: I wanted to write S/O’s awakening to their Persona first since I won’t write new awakening scenes with each character.
NOTE2:THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG, GRAB A SNACK MY BOI
Even though they’re blind, they were able to and actually had a cellular phone of their own.
They mostly had to memorize the layout of the keypad. with some assistive technologies and built-in accessible functionalities, they were able to use the mobile phone to a certain extent.
It’s no surprise that this S/O knew the Phantom Thieves already, not their true Identity, but just them as “friends”. they wouldn’t reveal themselves to anyone else.
One day, S/O received a message.
They weren’t able to read what it said without some kind of technological advanced A.I. reading it for them.
“Mementos.” The message said.
They could feel the change in the atmosphere approaching, the air feels different, their body feels heavy, the sounds of people talking were replaced by eerie gushes of wind.
They had no choice but to shout out and call anyone, it seems they’re getting no reply.
The phone doesn’t seem to be working, they can’t find the keypad and all the built-in assistive technologies they prepared doesn’t seem to be functioning anymore.
They were walking around, they could feel the marble tiles underneath, mixed in with what seems to be.. veins..?
They slipped and hit the ground underneath, where they could feel the texture of rails.
“I-is this a station..? It’s awfully quite..”
They were walking around the place endlessly, S/O completely lost their common sense.
They couldn’t understand why the rails would have so many turns and dead-ends, and they could’ve sworn there was something similar to a large, locked metal door.
They kept shouting names, calling out to someone who would be out there. but all they were greeted with were faint sounds of humans screaming.. or was it singing?
Before they heard a growl from behind, they were frightened.
They screamed as the growl grew harder, they could feel the pressure of heavy footsteps the unknown entity was making, breaking through the wind and making a run for S/O.
That’s when they heard a voice in their head…
“You’ve made me wait long enough.”
“Darkness serves a purpose, to show us that there is redemption through Chaos.”
“But you mustn’t keep your eyes closed evermore.”
“You are only as blind as you want to be, we only see the world as we are, not as how it is.”
“Now, open them. see the world as I perceive it!”
S/O tears the mask at this point, and when they open their eyes, they can see what they thought was someone else, but it turns out it’s them.
They couldn’t believe it, they were seeing the world from their persona’s Eyes. but could still feel their actual body.
That’s when they screamed, seeing the hideous scenery around them.
They decided to confront their friends about the message in their phone, that’s when the others revealed their true identities. and S/O joined the Phantom Thieves as a secondary Navi.
He first met S/O at Leblanc, who came in for a hot cup of coffee.
They were walking with a crane, examining the surroundings and listening intently to the sounds around them.
Sojiro helps S/O sits down, and grabs them a cup of coffee without asking what they’d like to have.
Akira figured Sojiro knew the customer, and when he questioned him about it after they left, he replied: “They’re blind”.
Akira made a note to pay extra attention the next time they visit.
When they did, he’s the one who rushed to help them.
Gently grabbing them and helping them find the way without talking.
“You’re not Sakura-san, are you?” They said.
“How did you know?” Akira replied.
“When you pay attention to your other senses, you can recognize anything almost immediately. the way you walk, the way you held me, your touch.”
Akira was fascinated by how perceptive S/O was, and offered them a free cup of coffee, it’s all on him.
He introduced them to the Phantom Thieves after a while, they all were very friendly and welcoming, which made S/O feel at home.
As the days went by, he paid them much attention. helping S/O get in the coffee shop and memorizing the time-period of their visits.
S/O grew comfortable around him, and they were able to recognize him just by a touch of his hand.
Akira questioned the way he behaved around them, he knew it wasn’t sympathy that drove him to do all these things.
Plus, he believes a disability is not something you should pity people for, it’ll only make them feel worse.
He knew he had loved them, and to his surprise, they were the same.
S/O would gently feel his glasses, take them off and wear them as if they can see. Akira loves it when they do that.
he thinks they look cute with glasses.
and even though S/O’s vision is almost dark, they were able to catch glimpses of his face. how beautiful Akira’s face is.
The only time they’re truly ever able to grasp the beauty of Akira’s face is in the Metaverse, where they can see him clearly.
He always smiles at S/O’s Persona whenever they do something outstanding, knowing that S/O’s the one who’s gonna see it.
This baby boy met his S/O during the training back in the track team.
He’d notice an odd person sitting on the grass fields while he and his team were running around.
He had no Idea what they were looking at, sometimes, they seemed to look intently at him, following his traces. and other times, they just looked at some random point in the sky and smiled.
They were there day after day, even the days he wasn’t training. he couldn’t help but wonder “What the ‘eff is up with them?”
So one day, he decides to confront them. and to his surprise, they weren’t looking at him while they were talking. when he asked what they’re doing here every day, they simply replied with “I enjoy my senses.”
He was confused but realized there’s something wrong with their eyes.
S/O giggled quietly, and proceeded to say “I’m blind if you’re wondering.”
That’s when it hit him, he felt embarrassed for doubting a blind person of having a crush on him or something.
It was actually the opposite, he was the one who grew a crush on them.
No one had to confess, they both felt love for each other and before they even know it, they’re already in a relationship.
He’ll always be extra careful when it comes to S/O, He’ll carefully help them find the way.
But more than anything, he enjoys carrying them on his back.
He’ll work extra hard on his body, making sure that he’ll always be strong enough to protect S/O.
S/O likes feeling Ryuji’s face, they feel the strong jawline of his. and his smooth but hard cheeks. They’ll touch his face slowly until they’re satisfied. but somehow the heat from his face progressively gets higher.
We all know the boy is blushing.
He enjoys S/O’s gentle and affectionate touch, caressing his cheeks softly.
even though S/O sometimes gets annoyed by Ryuji’s constant attention, they can’t help but let him be.
Ryuji understands that they don’t need him because they’re independent, but when he’s around them, he’s insistent on doing everything for them.
In the Metaverse, he couldn’t get used to fighting without looking at them.
Sometimes, he gets hurt just because he took a glance and “checked on them”.
The other Phantom Thieves scold him for being so worried about them, and keep reminding him they can see with their Persona in the metaverse
He’ll always talk to S/O directly, and they can see him through their Persona. sometimes, they wish they’d just take a long good look at his face from the front.
Their blind S/O was an artist, but not your ordinary type of artists.
They’d touch, hear, and feel the things then proceed to draw them on a canvas as to how they perceive it would look like.
Their paintings were very abstract, but they always get rejected by the museum or the art exhibit. saying the art is too basic or too bad.
Yusuke couldn’t help his curiosity, he went on to talk to them about why they’re so persistent on drawing.
That’s when he figured out they were Blind, which just made him far more interested. These paintings looked good, especially for someone who’s completely blind.
He tried his best to help them get into the art exhibit but to no avail.
He kept contacting S/O until they came on terms as working on partners, or even something more than that.
They accepted each other and loved each other to death.
He promised to help them create a piece that could get a place in a museum.
he sympathizes with the fact that they cannot see the beauty of this world but envies them by how self-aware they are, and how their senses are on a superior level.
He’ll describe the object to his best abilities, using the more advanced vocabulary out there. Assuming S/O knows of shapes.
He’ll grab their hands and move them around the canvas, telling them to fix that and do this.
S/O likes grabbing his hands, they’re smooth to the touch.
With time, S/O gets used to hand movements, and are now moving them around as if Yusuke was with them.
He’d waste more of his tight budget to secure their happiness, and the phantom thieves end up paying for his food.
In battle, He’s actually glad they could finally see.
The two of them occasionally go to Mementos, where they paint.
and he shows them the paintings they’ve created while they’re blind.
He’ll treat them the same he treats normal people, just with slightly more gentleness, he doesn’t want S/O feeling shame from their disability.
She definitely was friends with S/O ever since they were little.
She never abandoned them and defended S/O whenever someone made fun of their disability.
She enjoys how profoundly detailed they are when it comes to tasting desserts.
It’s as if they have some kind of super-sensory powers.
They’ll critique the flavor, the texture, and all the other factors in extreme details. and they’re always accurate.
She feels they’re as insulted by overcompensating kindness, as by judgment. so she refrains from being too kind.
She speaks to them in a normal language, using her body to visualize and connect with them. even though they can’t see, S/O can feel Ann’s constant movements.
S/O enjoys being spoken to in this manner, Ann makes them feel completely “Normal”.
She appreciates how aware they are of their environment, and how much they can feel her love for them.
When she kisses them, they describe how that felt in profound details.
She can’t help but blush, they completely changed her insights on how life is. and she realized losing your sight makes you appreciate what you have left.
She’ll always think of S/O when she models, she feels empowered by the idea of showing emotions and giving off a positive Aura instead of looking good.
She’ll always show S/O her model pictures, and describe them to her best abilities. she succeeded in getting this far thanks to them after all.
In the Metaverse, they were quite surprised by how sexy good looking she is.
She couldn’t believe they could finally see her, and she’ll always depend on them & Futaba when it comes to navigation.
She always gets freaked out by the Idea of having your eyes on another body, hence why she compliments S/O for being so brave. It’s not their choice.
Being the honor student in the school, and the president of the student council, She is obligated to help each and every student.
One of the students, in particular, was a Blind one, and Makoto had to help them study many of the subjects.
A lot of teachers and students spread rumors about them, a delinquent, a criminal, and now a blind? Where is this school going to?
After hearing all that, Makoto did her best to be there for S/O. she was always ready to help even outside of school.
she’d read the texts for them, and inform the teachers to go easy on them behind their back.
She’d ask if S/O needs help, instead of forcing it on them.
She’d be completely honest with them, if they made a mistake she’ll scold, so they won’t repeat it again.
But she’ll be reassuring when scolding them, she doesn’t want to be too harsh. she loves them after all.
she understands they are as responsive and as engaging with the environment as any other human being.
If they succeed, she’ll congratulate and celebrate with them in an enticing way, but that doesn’t mean S/O gets to relax.
Soon after, she’ll start working hard with S/O towards achieving greater things, one of them being the perfect relationship between them.
In the metaverse, she’ll lecture S/O about how things work almost every time. It became a habit of hers.
Any mistakes S/O makes will not be tolerated. They can finally see and sense in extraordinary levels thanks to their disability fused with their Persona’s capabilities. And she’s afraid they might get injured.
In battle, she will accordingly wait for S/O’s opinion on the matter.
She’ll be trusting them very much, and she’ll do anything they say. no matter how reckless it may be.
She believes in the blind’s judgment, sometimes, she feels like their disability made them a better person than anyone else.
Okay, so I don’t know how this idea dawned onto me but it did and I wrote this. Seeing as I haven’t written in a while, I hope you guys like it enough to maybe request another part. Enjoy! :)
SUMMARY: Somehow along the lines of their relationship, Calum and Y/N fuck up and Y/N is tired of a failing relationship lingering on. She ends things but Calum is dumbfounded and tries to fix it with constant pleading. She doesn’t budge and so Calum’s logical idea is to send her a bouquet of flowers every day for every day that he loves her.
You sat at your desk staring at your Macbook. Staring at the work that had to be done by the deadline that it was due at. But you couldn’t seem to bring yourself to do it. All you could do is stare at the screen with your fingertips hovering over the keyboard as if you’re gonna type soon. But you know you’re not.
You finally fall back into your chair and look to the ceiling, dragging your hands down your face. You cross your arms and continue to stare at your screen even more, allowing yourself to procrastinate and let your unhealthy thoughts consume your mind.
“Y/N it’s been two months. Say something to him.“
“Is this even a relationship anymore?"
"Calum who? More like Y/N and Calum who?"
"Does he even love me anymore?”
“Why am I letting this dread on for so long?"
You couldn’t stand this ongoing conversation (or more like argument) with yourself and your thoughts. You got up and decided to make something to eat.
You walked into the kitchen and saw Calum sitting at the table, eating something himself.
You were kind of surprised because you didn’t even know he was here. Well, you guys did live together but over time you saw him less. So seeing him home was sometimes shocking.
How could he be your boyfriend if you were surprised to see him at home?
Oh that’s right. You’ve grown to hate each other. You guys never actually said it to each other but the way you two act towards each other kind of says it all. How could two people who used to be so stuck in love, so glued hip to hip, so focused on building a future together, one day wake up and argue everyday?
You asked yourself these questions on a daily basis yet never decided to confront the situation.
The first argument was something about trust, and then the next something about effort, and then reassurance, and then pointing fingers at who cheated and who didn’t, and then coming home late, whose turn it was to put in gas, buy groceries, and whatever topic was able to be argued about.
And you’ve probably argued about every little thing in the world by this point because you two could only last two minutes of talking.
And when you did talk, you regretted it.
"Are you going out today?” You asked as you made yourself a sandwich.
You sighed, turning away from the counter. “Hello? Calum?"
And once again, silence. How is he so good at ignoring you? Who knew how many questions there were to ask yourself about your relationship?
"Do you even hear me?"
Finally, he said something.
"Yeah I hear you. I just choose not to say anything back."
You roll your eyes and continue making your sandwich.
At least you tried. But do you try enough? In his world, are you even trying? Does he even care? Even more questions with unknown answers.
You take your sandwich back into your little office to continue to not do any work. You just go there because it’s the only room in the house where Calum has no reason to be in.
You close out your work and open up YouTube instead. A couple of videos in, you hear the front door slam loudly. And there was your answer. He is going out. And he definitely wanted to let you know with the unnecessary slam.
You could never figure out what day, what argument, what anything was that made you guys this way. You could probably have that eye implant thing in that one episode of Black Mirror that could make you replay and watch every single event in your life to go back and try to figure out what could’ve been the cause. But then again, that episode didn’t really end well.
Hours went by and YouTube wasn’t doing justice anymore. You tried to keep busy but no matter what you just found yourself sitting in a different spot in the house every hour or so just to do the same thing. Stare at nothing and drown in your thoughts. You weren’t even really sure how you felt about this whole situation. Sad? Angry? Confused? Lost? Whatever you felt, you could definitely agree that happiness was not one of them.
Your phone rang beside you from an incoming FaceTime from your best friend. He knew you and Calum aren’t on good terms so the many times you vented to him about it, all he did was listen. He didn’t want to give you any advice or ideas to possibly make you feel like you want to end things because he didn’t want to feel like he was the reason you couldn’t be happy. He knows what Calum means to you. Or at this point, meant to you.
"Y/N, every time I FaceTime you I always see a frown when every time I’m hoping for a smile.” He says lightly.
“Yeah well you know the reason for that.” You said back.
“Come on dude, how long has it been? 2 months of your 4 year relationship with Calum and still the same thing?"
"Still the same thing,” you confirmed, “nothing’s changed. Nothing’s gotten better and I don’t even know if it’s gotten worst. Because I feel like this is already the worst.”
He gave you a sad smile and you returned one back.
“But I’m tired of me and my problems, how are you? How’s the new loft?"
"It’s great! It’s spacious. But weird since I basically just live in one giant room."
You laughed at his perspective of his new home in a new city, but you were happy for him. He always wanted to live somewhere else and to be independent and he was doing just that.
You two talked for a couple more hours, as if you were friends who have lost touch for years when really you last talked to him about 3 days ago. For the first time today, you actually got your mind off of Calum. It was nice to laugh and smile at a conversation with your best friend but you knew this call had to end soon.
"Y/N, it’s getting pretty late over here I think I’m gonna go to sleep now. Call me for anything. You know what you mean to me, I’ll always answer."
You knew what he was referring to by saying that. And as he was saying goodbye, you turned around and saw Calum walking through the door seeing you on FaceTime at the counter sitting on the bar stool.
"I’m grateful for you, you know. Thanks for calling me today. It’s always nice talking to you even though I basically talk to you almost every day,” you laughed, “I’ll talk to you later bye." You smiled at him before hitting the red button and turning to Calum since you haven’t heard him move since.
And you were right, he really hasn’t moved. He was just standing there, looking at you. And you were scared.
"You know what you mean to me… I’m grateful for you?"
Do best friends really say stuff like this to each other?
I don’t know what I did or where I went the last 10 hours. I literally drove to some random look out and sat in my car. And basically talked to myself since I don’t really talk to her anymore. I know I have other people to talk to, but the connection me and her had could never be replaced by any other person. I don’t know why I felt the need to leave the house or to get away. But it’s been a habit lately. To wake up, eat, go out, come home, sleep, repeat. I share this house with someone yet I’m rarely ever here or with her.
I should feel guilty. And I do because how did this even start and why did we let it linger on for so long? But we’ve become toxic. I feel like one day we just mutually and silently decided to just argue everyday for the past 2 months.
But now I’m here looking at her getting off FaceTime with her best friend, feeling like I should be saying those words to her but I barely say anything to her now. But for the first time in a long time, I heard her voice sound kind of happy and I heard her giggle. And now I’m jealous and I regret the past two months of treating her like shit. Like she was nothing.
I’m finally looking at her and I finally see my whole world.
"Calum.” You said softly, staring at him from where you were sitting.
“Y/N.” He said back, mocking you by staying where he was.
“I think I’ve been thinking.” Your face cringed a bit by how much that didn’t make sense but he understood you.
“Yeah me too.”
And at the same time the both of you just let it out.
“I want to break up with you." "I miss you Y/N."
The two of you stared at each other with wide eyes and gaped mouths, completely speechless at how opposite the both of you felt.
"I can explain. Everything.” Calum said to you urgently, but it wasn’t going to be enough. At this point, I don’t think anything was enough.
“I don’t think I want you to Calum.” You shrugged slightly and shook your head.
“Can I at least try?”
You looked at him and didn’t say anything, making him feel it was okay to continue.
“The past 2 months have been shitty. And I think we both know that. In fact, this conversation right now is probably the most we’ve ever said to each other in the past 2 months. But I spent 10 hours in my car today just thinking. About why and how bad we got."
He paused every now and then to watch your face, to see how you would react at each sentence. And to be honest, he couldn’t really read your expression.
"I guess I actually can’t really explain to you anything because I don’t know why this happened and I’m sorry."
"Me too,” you said back.
"But I know one thing never changed… And that is that I love you."
And he saw how you reacted from that. You scoffed at that a bit, sat up straighter and rolled your shoulders back. He didn’t really know exactly what you meant by that but he got nervous.
"Calum, this is beyond I’m sorry and I love you.”
Calum dropped his head, looking down towards the floor knowing this isn’t going to be good.
“But I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I’m not sorry and that I don’t love you anymore because I am sorry and I do love you.”
You pursed your lips together before continuing, looking at him while he looked at the floor.
“But me feeling so hurt is overpowering that right now. And I don’t know even know if I want to try and fix this."
And that’s what made him shoot his head back up to you.
"What? No. No we can’t just give up right away and not try. It can’t be that easy."
"And you’re right, it’s not. It was hard. It was hard to live with you and not talk to you. It was hard to resist not holding you because I was scared you’d push me away. It was hard to adjust to a life without you but you were still in it. It was hard to be with you Calum yet I wasn’t even with you. It was hard to be your girlfriend."
You weren’t yelling, he wasn’t shouting, you spoke soft but fast, eager to finally get your feelings out.
"And I felt the same way Y/N. We haven’t been communicating these past months but that doesn’t mean I stopped having feelings. I don’t know why I treated you the way I did and I don’t know why I continued doing it but I just- it just happened.”
You shook your head and finally looked away from him to cry.
“I love you Y/N”, he told you, giving it one more shot.
“You can’t tell me that anymore.”
He heard the anger in that and he knew your sadness was being replaced with exasperation.
“What do you want me to do?” He said so softly, you could barely register what he said.
“I don’t think I want you to do anything.”
The two of you stood in silence, not wanting to continue this any further. Well at least you didn’t want to. Calum was running out of options.
“You can stay mad at me all you want but I’m gonna tell you every day that I love you."
"No. I just think it’s best if we just don’t talk to each other anymore.”
Then, another moment of silence passed. You clearly weren’t going to give this up. Your mind was set, your decision was made, and your stance was clear.
“Then… I’ll give you flowers everyday.”
You gave him a puzzled look as he looked at you in panic in return. Trying to think of a way to fix this. To prove to you that his feelings are still there.
“Then I’ll think you’re kind of crazy."
"Then I’ll still send you flowers. And the day after that. I’m gonna keep trying to fix this Y/N I promise."
For a split second, you thought of just dropping everything. Dropping this conversation, the hurt feelings, the harsh words and actions from the past 2 months, and just take him back. But you felt pretty set on this.
"Calum…” You gulped and watched him as he looked at you with big, hopeful eyes.
“Yeah?” He said hesitantly.
And with that, he looked at you hurtful but he didn’t feel shocked that you said that. He knew you were a pretty persistent person but he was a hopeful person. He looked at you for one last second and headed upstairs to pack his things. You retreated into your mini office and sat at your desk, head in your hands. Later on, you heard the sound of suitcases being dragged down the stairs. He didn’t dare call out your name or look for you to tell you he was leaving. You just waited to hear the front door open and close before leaving your office and seeing a spare house key left on the counter.
The next day you woke up to a cold, lonely, and much too big bed. How you used to go about your day always involved Calum so this new lifestyle was going to get some getting used to. Even being away from Calum somehow still involved something to do with Calum.
You stayed up late last night burying yourself in your duvet and feelings to even try and sleep. So you woke up around noon but stayed in bed before hearing your doorbell go off.
“Seriously? It hasn’t even been a whole day yet.” You thought to yourself, thinking it was Calum trying to change your mind.
Yet to your surprise you opened your door to nobody there.
You took a step outside to see if they walked away somewhere, seeing as you did kind of take a while to get out of bed.
But something wrinkled beneath your foot. A bouquet of roses.
You stared at it for quite a while with furrowed eyebrows before picking them up hesitantly.
You closed the door and looked for a card. And by the handwriting you already knew who it was from. And remembered what he told you last night.
“He was actually serious,” you thought.
You opened the little card and it said:
Let me know what you guys think and/or if you want a second part :)