Warnings: M/M, a little bit of angst…? Idk what to call it (but it ends well, I promise lol), a swear here and there, FLUFF, jealousy, slight obsessive personality (from both parties), emotional breakdown
Disclaimer: Ayyye like I love Dan & Phil, but they ain’t mine, ya feel? Also, I have nOTHING AGAINST HOUSE PLANTS. Plus I don’t think this actually happened irl but you never know I guess
Dan would never admit it.
He wouldn’t be able to see the look on Phil’s face of absolute amusement and pity at how stupid he was.
His pride was just too great.
The fact that it was jealousy was one thing, but jealousy over this.
Phil would surely burst into tears from laughing so hard, and Dan would just slink off into a corner - tail between his legs - and dwell in his shame.
But he couldn’t help it.
The fact that Phil was so obsessed; it absolutely pissed Dan off to no end.
It wasn’t even the fact that Phil liked collecting them, or that they were spread all over the flat.
It was the fact that Phil paid so much bloody attention to them.
He cared more about his bloody house plants than he did Dan.
And that caused an immediate rivalry.
Even Dan couldn’t help but want to smack himself.
They’re fucking house plants, it’s not like he’s cheating.
But Phil looked at them with so much tenderness and love; he woke up at ungodly hours every morning and left Dan’s side to go water his bloody house plants.
Every time they got home from any outing, Phil would reorganize them so that they got perfect sunlight.
Every time they were on vacation, Phil would call a friend to look after his house plants and call every three hours to make sure they were okay and double check that their friend knew how to take care of them. Dan would just sit and listen in complete annoyance because this defeated the purpose of his vacation with Phil.
Even when Phil said he wanted to make sure “all of his plants got an equal amount of his attention” Dan would scowl because they took that ‘equal amount of attention’ away from Dan.
So, it was no surprise that when Phil was about to leave for a traditional outing to Tesco that he planted a kiss onto Dan’s cheek and then tenderly kissed a leaf of his house plant by the door goodbye before exiting the flat.
As soon as the door was closed, Dan turned and glared at the plant.
It stood there, tall with pride, leaves beaming a glowing green. Almost mocking Dan by saying, “Phil loves me more.”
Crouching down to its level, Dan muttered a dark, “I found him first. He’s mine.”
Before getting up, turning on his heel, and marching into his bedroom without a glance back at the dastardly thing.
It also was no comfort when Phil left Dan during their blooming ‘morning anime’ ritual to go check on “Matilda” - his sick gardenia sitting in his room on the windowsill.
Dan frowned, a horrible feeling settling in the middle of his stomach as he watched the boy hurry away to check on the dying flower.
Dan did feel bad, as he had been the one to sprinkle some weed killer into its pot when Phil was out getting lunch. But the guilt was quickly replaced with burning jealousy as Phil only began to pay even more attention to it.
He was not happy.
What finally pushed Dan over the edge was when he had organized a wonderful surprise night out - just him and Phil - for Phil’s birthday and Phil had called to say he was not going to be attending that night because he was going out late to find some treatment for “Matilda”.
Dan had gone silent over the line when Phil had said this and didn’t even reply when Phil had called his name worriedly from the other end. He’d only hung up and dropped his phone to the ground.
Turning, he began walking in circles, pacing around the flat and trying to fight the stinging sensation of tears in his eyes.
He was losing him.
He was losing his Phil.
Phil was not the house plants’.
Phil was his.
With that thought, tears began cascading down his cheeks; flowing endlessly like never before.
He was losing his boyfriend to a bunch of house plants.
Dan began to scream.
He didn’t know what else to do.
He screamed and cried and screamed some more.
And when his screams died down, he threw himself onto Phil’s bed and buried his face into Phil’s comforter because that might be the last time he would be able to smell something distinctly Phil and not some strange mix of pollen and gardenia.
He didn’t know why it was called a comforter, because it was supplying no comfort whatsoever.
Squeezing his eyes shut, Dan shook his head as he shrunk even further into Phil’s comforter.
Phil was going to truly see Dan at his lowest.
And he thought that putting weed killer into an innocent gardenia’s pot because it was receiving more attention from his boyfriend than he was an ultimate low.
Heavy footsteps approached the bedroom and Dan cringed more, only causing more tears to streak his cheeks.
There was a pause as they reached the open door and Dan held his breath, preparing for what was to come.
The comforter was pulled back and a helpless, sniffling Dan was exposed in all of his broken glory.
He peered up at Phil with large, broken eyes and Phil’s face visibly crumbled.
“Oh my god, Dan!” He swooped down and pulled Dan into his arms, causing a strangled - and embarrassing - mewl to slip from Dan’s throat.
The amount of shame he felt for this was unbearable.
Phil stroked a soothing hand down Dan’s back while Dan clung onto Phil with so much desperation that only he would understand, because Phil didn’t realize how much Dan craved and cherished his closeness these days.
Phil pressed a kiss into Dan’s hair and mumbled a quiet, “Oh Dan, what’s wrong?”
He would never admit it.
Not in a billion years.
But this was Phil.
This was the man he fell in love with.
No matter what.
And Dan respected him and trusted him enough to tell him the truth, no matter how damaging it was.
“I… I think I’ve reached an ultimate low, Phil.” He breathed out, not daring to look up or pull away.
Phil continued to rub soothingly at Dan’s aching muscles, magically relaxing them with every careful touch.
“How so?” He must have realized how serious this was, because his voice became soft and yet so casual, almost not acknowledging the state in which Dan was in and Dan was so grateful.
He didn’t think he could handle it if Phil treated this like it was a rare occurrence.
Dan laughed humorlessly. “I’m jealous of your house plants.”
Phil’s movements paused for a moment and Dan flinched.
The bomb was dropped, and now Dan was going to have to face the aftermath.
He held his breath, regretting every decision he’d ever made in his life as the silence continued with each passing second.
That was it.
Phil just kept Dan wrapped up in his arms.
He didn’t need any further explanation. That was all that he needed.
For the rest of the night they stayed in that position.
And Phil limited himself down to two house plants, giving the others away despite Dan apologizing and feeling horribly guilty. He waved Dan off and responded very simply.
“I love you, and if you feel that I am spending more time with my plants than I am with you, it is me who is in the wrong.”
And in that moment, Dan fell even more hopelessly in love.
“The thing I like about doing runway is that I can’t fuck up. I mean, if I fall, that’s the one situation I can’t get out of by making jokes or funny faces. You know, a big old song and dance. Which is what I normally do when I get into trouble.”
Harry saw Draco’s face up close now, right beside his father’s. They were
extraordinarily alike, except that while his father looked beside himself with excitement,
Draco’s expression was full of reluctance, even fear.
“I don’t know,” he said, and he walked away toward the fireplace where his mother stood watching.