fluffythundr asked:

That photo of you and Jensen is gold 😵 I'm jealous of you, but gosh you guys look so much like lost lovers or something

WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO GET ME TO CRY DURING CLASS (why am I on Tumblr during class?) 

Seriously thank you so much!! I’m so happy with how it turned out!

My sister, southpauz, offered to photoshop the face I’m making onto my wedding photos because none of my family think I will look this blissful again.


You Think - SNSD @ Inkigayo


I'm such a dumbass

Its soooo time for me to lose weight. Like I’m alone rn bc I push people away/ feel uncomfortable around them bc I’m uncomfortable with myself. But being alone would be ok if at least I could be beautiful + mysterious + alone. Instead I’m sweaty + fat + weird + alone. One makes people stare at u in a good way + the other… Doesn’t. And I can’t even enjoy myself bc I feel so ugly. For example I wanted to go swimming here but I can’t find a place where it’s lonely enough and I can’t undress in front of people so I’m just gonna stay hot + sweaty. I can’t even walk / sit in the sun bc I feel like it highlights my fat + ugliness + also I’ll sweat. Im carrying my raincoat around w me even tho it’s way too warm just bc it hides my ugly fucking body. I’m on my way to a double chin !!! Fucking hell. And I cant otherwise have fun bc I’m constantly thinking about the fat I’m carrying around with me and how this shirt makes me look extra fat ( it wouldn’t if I wasn’t already pretty fat) and what people must be thinking about me. ( they’re probably not thinking much but I am )

And at the same time I know that my face isn’t inherently ugly!!! I could look good or at least so much better!!!! It’s time to stop thinking about how I’m gonna fling myself off the nearest cliff and start restricting or at least not binging instead
Like I’m technically at peak age I should be looking youthful and amazing and like I’m having fun and instead I look fat and tired
And I always tell myself people would like me more if I looked better but fact is that I would like me more and then would be less of an asshole and nicer and more comfortable around people and a lot less weird and idk. It’s just time to go through with it instead of keeping my life like this it’s just sad and a waste