look more beautiful

This is a call-out post for Steve Allen,

the groundhog that lives under my shed.

You’ve got it good here, Steve Allen. When you started burrowing your way into my chicken coop every night I didn’t even disturb you, I just spent a day digging out all around the coop and burying cinder blocks so you couldn’t dig under the walls any more. You’ve got a compost pile full of food scraps—remember those apple peels the other day? Yeah, I saw you stuffing one long peel after another into your face like big pieces of spaghetti. You get to clean up the grain and oats the horses drop around their feed buckets. You even get water left out for you.

I’ve been nice to you, Steve Allen, and how do you repay me? Not only did you leave a giant pile of poop right by my car in the driveway the other day but then I discovered THIS!

YOU CHEWED UP TWO OF THE BEAUTIFUL PUMPKINS IN MY PUMPKIN PATCH!!!

This is the last straw, Steve Allen. You will no longer be known as Steve Allen the Groundhog. Forever more, you will be known as Steve Allen the Asshole.

anonymous asked:

Prompt! Nothing is sweeter than a fic where Betty is pregnant and Jughead is super protective and loving and maybe a little smutty because her sex drive is through the rough and he's never thought she looked more beautiful!

Thanks Nonnie!


Insatiable Appetite


Seven months pregnant.
Betty felt like a whale.

“JUGHEAD! I swear to god, if pushing your offspring out breaks me, I will never forgive you, ever!” she yelled from the room.

He appeared in the doorway, smirking, from ear-to-ear, “babe, you’ll be fine!”

“I’ll be fine? REALLY? I’LL BE FINE? I have to push a human out of my-“

Jughead’s hand shot up, “Hey, hey, I know exactly where the baby is coming out from, don’t need you to spell it out for me, Betts.”

“Excuse me? Since when don’t you wanna hear about my vagina? You weren’t complaining last night when you were lic-“

“Betts, c’mon!” Jughead rolled his eyes and went back to the kitchen.

“Juggie, come back, please.” Betty started wiggling out of her pyjamas. Her sudden insatiable appetite for her husband was out of control. She wanted him. All the time.

He appeared in the doorway again, and his eyes almost fell out of his head, “Betty, seriously, again?” His head fell back against the doorframe.

“What? Am I not allowed to want to make love to my husband occasionally?” She questioned, tilting her head slightly.

“Occasionally? Betty! We had sex three times last night! And as much as I love you, and as god damn beautiful as you are, that was hardly making love last night.” Both eyebrows raised.

“Are you complaining, right now?” She shot up in bed, her breasts bouncing.

“No, of course not. But, I’m not a machine. I need time to recover.” He knew immediately that that was the wrong answer.

“Oh, okay, sure. I understand,” she whispered, as her hand slowly moved up her inner thigh, making it’s way to her centre. Spreading her legs slighty, her finger started circling her clit, a moan escaping her mouth.

“Betts, stop,” his breathing slowly labouring, as his wife began pleasuring herself.

He walked over to the bed, taking his pants off and climbing on top of her.

“Pregnant Betty is horny Betty,” as he planted a kiss on her mouth, whilst lining himself to her centre, “I mean, I love it. I really do,” as he pushed himself into her, watching her back arch, and her head fall back.

His name escaping her lips. He pumped her, over and over and over again.

Slipping his hand between their bodies, slowly rubbing her sensitive bud. It wasn’t long before he felt her walls tightening around his arousal, her eyes squeezed shut as the uncontrollable  moans left her mouth, triggering his own arousal, releasing himself into her core.

“Juggie, I love you so much,” she whimpered as she stroked his face.

He slid out of her and rolled on to his side, slowly rubbing her stomach, “this is going to get harder, you know.”

Betty nodded, “yeah, I know. We’ll just have to experiment with different positions, I suppose,” she smirked at her own answer.

“You’re completely and totally insatiable, you know that, yeah?” He planted a kiss on her nose.

“Hardly, I’m a whale right now, Jug.” She sighed as she started tracing circles on her stomach, willing to feel the kick of a foot.

It wasn’t long after, the baby Bughead starting their movements.

Betty and Jughead lay in their bed, feeling nothing but the love between them and watching her stomach move with rapid kicks and butt movements.

3

More Watertribe Lance
Also avatar Lance this time because we talked about this with friends and we are lance trash we wondered what kind of pet Lance would have if he was the avatar… Like Aang has Appa and Korra has Naga.

And we ended up with a Peacock-Lion because it just suits him perfectly

(also it was supposed to be Keith’s pet -bc yeah it’s definitely more a firenation-ish beast- but things happened ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i’ll write headcanons someday lmao)

he’s the beauty; she’s the beast

so i’m sure the remake of a timeless classic that disney is about to roll out is going to be great and all

but here’s another way we could do things:

he’s the beauty

she’s the beast

for a movie who’s central theme is inner beauty, it doesn’t really do anything to support that, you know? so how about this: adam, our prince turned beast, isn’t an inhospitable monster. because this back story doesn’t make any sense – why is the young prince of this land alone, in a castle, only to be caught unaware by a witch?

so how about this – this is pseudo france, right, so these royals do what their real life counterparts did. they flee. the cruel, greedy king and queen flee and leave their young son behind with their staff. their son who is kind and soft hearted and totally unfit to rule any kingdom (never mind that they’re literally running away from their own people). not only that – they trade their son for their freedom, trade their kingdom for their freedom. to the witch.

so the witch comes, and she doesn’t disguise herself as a crone, goes to him looking as lovely and young as her magic keeps her. but our prince adam has a talent, one many cast-aside, neglected children have developed – the ability to see people for who they really are, and he knows this is no kind young woman in need of his help. he refuses to let her in – and there’s this little twist to the magic, that she can only enter the palace grounds and claim her prize if she’s welcomed in a as a guest, and he, the young master of this castle, won’t let her in.

Keep reading

Aroooo ~
Still playing around with quick & sketchy styles, hoping I can whip out a full painterly painting by April 1st!
haha not gonna happen I’m afraid

4

You came back.

Of course I came back. I’ll never leave you again. 

I’m afraid it’s my turn to leave…

We’re together now. It’s going to be fine!

At least I got to see you…one last time…

4

twelve days of twelve – day six: twelve’s hair
“My hair is a nightmare. My hair is visible from space.  It does what it wants…I just let it go, really.” - Peter Capaldi

10

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANSOL VERNON CHWE 
ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
2017.02.18ㅤ