look it's me not being about to pick just one

anonymous asked:

Omg that ask about Lance being the only one able to translate between the people on that planet and that paladins has me thinking of everybody trying to figure it out and shooting Lance down every time he tries to but in then he picks up something the aliens say about the team being rude and Lance just gives the lady a look like "tell me about it" and she's like ...u understand me???? And then they start talking and it's a good moment idk I can't write for shit but this is a fantastic concept

Holy crap, your right, why did I not think of that, anon I love you. 

Okay but don’t imagine that the alien has a voice a few pitches lower than his moms and when she says certain words he just… cant. 

anonymous asked:

Hi ! I just read the ask where someone asked about who would get a cat with you and who would get a dog and im wondering if you could please do obe with bts, IF it's not much of a bother ofc

sure!! find monsta x’s ver (here)
ps i know bts are mostly dog owners,,,,,,but i did this off their personalities ^^

Namjoon would probably research what kind of cat to get and would choose one that’s in line with him, the abyssinian for example because it’s considered the smartest cat breed in the world. He’d end up excitedly telling you about its Egypt ion origins and you’d just be like “,,,,,,it’s cute let’s get one.” 

Yoongi is also a cat person, he’d get an exotic short hair because it has that overly cute, teddybear face and Yoongi would be like “Don’t look at me like that.”,,,,,,,,stare into the cats big brown eyes,,,,,,and scoff while picking it up into his arms and being like “Fine, you’re the one. Let me take you home.” 

Jin fits dogs better because dogs are more loyal and committed, he’d especially want a family oriented dog like a golden retriever! A dog that is welcoming and likes kids, Jin sees pets as another family member and he’d consider that dog your child basically. 

Hoseok would want an active dog, just like him so he’d pick a dalmatian. Early morning runs with the dog, then getting covered in puppy kisses at the dog park fits Hoseok’s cherry, up-beat personality so well! 

Jimin is loving and affectionate, he needs a pet that loves him just as much so he’d pick a dog. He’d go for a shih zu or maltese and would literally pick that puppy up and cuddle it more than he cuddled you. 

Taehyung loves all animals, but his personality reminds me more of a cat than it does a dog. He’d get a russian blue because they’re a rare cat breed, but they’re also fascinating and independent. He’d like how for the most part, that cat is fine on it’s own but every now and then it would settle itself on his or your lap - it’d be considered a gift from the cat to you two. 

Jungkook loves dogs, he’s basically a big puppy himself. He fits a bearded collie because of how happy and playful they are, plus the shaggy hair in their eyes makes Jungkook think they look even more laid-back. You’d find him nuzzling his face into your dogs fur all the time and being like “He doesn’t smell the best, but I love him no matter what.” 

[fanaccount] The YUNJAE encounter on 15.10.02

Initially I had decided not to write about it because I considered the most important info was already shared by other fans and I did not think my opinion would be necessary, especially since I did not take any videos of the moment, and I thought everything else I could add was already out of timing, BUT since that short video of Yunjae ‘hugging’ came out I see a lot of people being unsure about it, which is totally understandable because I know how it feels like not wanting to overreact about something unless we’re 100% sure it’s true.

So basically I pondered if I should speak out about my own experience and what I saw with my own eyes, and decided I wanted to write about it and share it with the fandom because:

1.    They did bro-hugged.

2.    I have been on the other side of the coin and I dislike having all sort of versions and not knowing what is real and what is not.

3.    I dislike when people exaggerate facts and write biased fanaccounts.

4.    I dislike when facts get twisted due to mistranslations, so I rather write this myself in English.

5.    I know I can write an objective fanaccount for everyone who was not there, and I feel  in that way I will be contributing to a better understanding of what happened in such a memorable day for us.

Who am I?

An international fan from Mexico, currently living in Korea, studying a master’s degree, post lawsuit DBSK/JYJ fan (meaning I support and love the 5 boys), Chun biased, Yunjae shipper but not the delusional kind lol, I just like them together ^^

2015.10.02 – Gyeryong-si, Ground Forces Festival

I arrived to the event place early in the morning on Friday Oct 2nd, I was there from before the event started so I also got to see Jaejoong performing “Arirang” and Yunho MCing the opening ceremony, and that also was a very special moment because after all these years we were finally seeing the two of them together in one place. But at that moment I was still not sure that meant they had been talking or whether they were in good terms or not.

Now, you all know what happened after that, Jaejoong performed at the Fringe Stage after the Opening Ceremony and Yunho was the MC for the Main Stage afternoon performance.

There was another Fringe performance scheduled for the afternoon at 3:00 pm and I thought Jaejoong would perform again, but seeing how there were considerable less people waiting for the performance to start I felt that fans already knew Jaejoong was going to perform again.

But I decided to wait anyway, after all I was already there and it’s not like I had anything more interesting to do. So the afternoon performance started but I knew Jaejoong would not come out first if he was going to perform so instead I went to the Main Stage, and saw some fans at the backstage looking to the direction of a tent on the opposite side, Yunho was there, so I took a couple of pictures, he was there with his manager and parents.

According to the time of the pictures that was at 3:20 pm. The group of fans there got closer to the tent where Jung was, but I seriously felt that was a little bit too much, as in I felt he would feel uncomfortable somehow, I don’t know just the idea of standing there in group observing him and taking pictures and videos constantly seems wrong to me, I did not want to be there so I left to the Fringer Stage again, and that is when Jaejoong wore the mascot suit and came to the Fringe stage XD So I was there and I saw him fangirling over the soldier who was performing at that moment, obviously I never imagined Jaejoong would be the one wearing the suit! I just remember I kept looking at the mascot and smiling because its actions were so cute and funny! I really thought “whoever is inside that costume is good at this”. Now that I think about it, it might be that Jae has seen us fangirling over him for so many years that he knows exactly how to portray a fangirl lol

And you can see me on the video CJES posted being totally oblivious about Jae dancing behind me. I actually was thinking “please don’t pick me to dance with you because that will be embarrassing” …ugh >.<


Anyway after the Fringer afternoon performance was over and Jaejoong didn’t perform as I had expected, so again I just started to walk around, and by that time there was very few people and I saw a couple of fans waiting outside the Operating Headquarter tent, I thought maybe they knew Jaejoong or Yunho were inside so I waited there too.

I few minutes later, Jaejoong came out of the tent, and I was so shocked to see him that close, I seriously did not expect to see him there, but he was just right there! and there were only around 8-10 Chinese fans and me!

When Jaejoong came out of the tent he walked directly to the blue tent on the side of the Headquarters one, I had not noticed before, until Jae went there, that Yunho’s parents were sitting in that place!!

Blue tent where the encounter happened lol

I could not believe the magnitude of what I was witnessing, Jaejoong greeted Yunho’s parents and he was standing right in front of Yunho’s dad and talking, I think I was so shocked about the implications of such a moment that I totally did not see Yunho was also there at first!

I somehow felt as if I should not be there, I felt it was such an intimate, personal, special moment for Jaejoong (greeting Jung’s parents after all this time), that I did not dare to look at them constantly or take pictures of videos, I was shaking and my heart was beating fast and I just did not know what to do with myself.

There were also Yunho’s manager and Jaejoong’s manager (not An-Chan, probably someone CJES sent), and when the Chinese fans were trying to take pictures and videos with their cellphones and cameras, the managers walked toward us and started yelling at us in a not polite way to not take pictures and to go away.

To be honest I don’t know why they acted so harsh about it, their attitude made it even more obvious that it was such an important moment that somehow they did not want people to see/share proofs with the world XD But also I think Yunho and Jaejoong did not care about it, because honestly, if they didn’t want people to see them together talking and such, they wouldn’t have done it right there in the open in front us fans, because of course they saw we were there, so they could have gone inside the tent, but they did not, so I think Yunho and Jaejoong were so cool about it that they did not care if fans saw them together or not, which is a good thing, right? :)

So they were talking there for a little while, and that is when you see pictures of Yunho standing up and walking to Jae’s sister to greet her and you can see also Jaejoong’s niece Seohyeon near Yunho and Yunho looking to her.

And then, when Jaejoong started saying goodbye to Yunho’s parents bowing to them several times and all, it’s when the bro-hug happened. Like I said at first I was not aware Yunho was there, but I did saw when Jaejoong shook hands with this guy in blue jacket (which was Yunho XD) and bro-hugged. 

What I mean by bro-hug is basically –>>THIS <<–(CLICK THE LINK YOU GUYS XD) but softer …it was not a long full hug (not MKFM kind if you’re wondering lol), but the fact remains that they greeted goodbye in a way you don’t do unless you’re close to that person and of course if you were in an awkward position or not totally in good terms with someone, you do not bro-hug like that. If they were just being polite to each other they could just have vowed to each other and that is it, but it was not the case :)

So after Jaejoong greeted goodbye he walked to the bathroom and Yunho and his parents went to the back of the Headquarters tent, I do not know if they went inside or not because from where I was standing I could not see, and even though other fans followed them I did not want to do that, like it was too much.

After a few minutes Jaejoong came walking back from the bathroom and shared a couple words with his sister (Seohyeon’s mom) and went to the back of the Headquarters tent too where Yunho had walked to earlier.

After a little while Jaejoong came back again and went inside the Headquarters tent through the front door, where I was standing, I told him he had worked hard in Korean and he vowed :3

I remember seeing Jaejoong all sweaty and his face was so red and I was wondering what had happened to him, I thought he didn’t look good, now I know it was because he had been playing around with the mascot suit before coming to greet Yunho and his parents, it all makes sense now hehe.

I kept waiting outside the main gate of the headquarters tent because I was trying to calm myself down after what I had witnessed, I looked at the only picture I had taken with my camera and I realized I had captured Jaejoong, Yunho, Jung’s parents and Jae’s sister in one frame! I was shaking and I could not believe I had proof of the encounter, I had been there to see it with my own eyes, I did not need to read it from someone else or be doubtful if it had really happened or not, because I knew it had happened because I saw it myself!

The time I took this picture is 4:33 pm

Then Jaejoong came out of the HQ tent by himself again, that boy ^^ and he walked to the Information boot placed beside the HQ tent, I was so surprised he went out by himself, as if he was not a celebrity, and all the fangirls there started following him so close and taking pictures with their cameras, I felt bad seeing that, so I followed from a distance that I considered it was not invading his personal space lol

He went into the information boot as was asking something, then he came out and I was standing right there, I did not expect him to come out from where I was standing so I was shocked, and so I was face to face with him, because fans were surrounding us and I could not move back, then he said “excuse me” in Korean and I moved to the side so he could walk by, I just took a picture from his back once he walked away.

So that is basically what happened, after that Yunho left the venue first, and Jaejoong left after.

I do not know if this makes things clearer for everyone, I hope it does, and if you have any questions let me know, I really just want facts to be straight and clear for everyone.

In my personal opinion, Yunho and Jaejoong are in good terms, that is for sure, I do believe it after what happened on Oct 2nd, not only this but also that another video of them inside a tent and Yunho helding Jae’s arm before leaving. For me this moment is not about the pairing itself, I mean, it’s not that now I think they are together or anything like that, but for me this represents that they had the chance to talk (during the weeks they were together at Headquarters training for the festival), to solve their issues, and that they are in good terms now, that they were ok about fans seeing them together talking and all, and it makes me believe this is the beginning of a reconciliation between the 5 of them, I don’t know if one day they will perform together again, but just knowing they can be in good terms again and openly being in touch and all, that’s enough for me to have peace of mind.

I feel so fortunate and thankful for the chance I had to be there to see the encounter, because I can be sure of what happened and therefore I am in peace, and I do hope me sharing what I experienced helps you to be in peace too ^^

I could also attend the festival 4 days, and there is many things I could share about the experience and how our boys are so professional, considerate, talented, thoughtful, etc. but that would be way too long, but I can say I never felt more proud to be their fan, and I just have more reasons to keep loving and supporting the five of them and having hope until the end.

Thanks everyone for reading this and feel free to share it so more fans can also clear their doubts ^^

*fandom hug*


PS. will post the Spanish version later, I’m off to class now ^^

EDIT: if you need more detail about the bro-hug if the video I linked you to is not enough lol

Yunho walks to Jaejoong and then he extended his right arm and Jae did the same, they shook hands and half hugged (kind of bumped their shoulders).

Someone asked me if they hugged with both arms around each other, they did not hug like that ^^ No both arms around each other :)

But seriously, that does not make any diference! ^0^ what happened is awesome enough I think lol

Maybe Not As His Partner

Part 1 of 2. 

She’s trying to work out a joke about picking out china patterns together after all when she realizes that he didn’t laugh with her.

Scully lies facedown on the bed in the golden afternoon, sheet pulled up to her waist, head pillowed on her arms as Mulder lightly traces inscrutable patterns on the bare skin of her back. He’s sitting in his boxer shorts, propped against the headboard, allegedly reading the file on their next case — they leave for Albany later tonight — but with a sleepy inattention that really isn’t going to give him much insight.

Keep reading

Okay ya’ll here it is like I promised, I call it SLASH FICTION, you get Wincest, Destiel and Sastiel all at once thanks to our boys. I didn’t ask them to do this again just like the other photo op I just let them do whatever they wanted only this time I stepped off to the side and VOILA! They’re all humping each others cutout. All three of them cracked up super hard after taking this photo you can see Jared is already about to bust a nut here LMFAO! Jensen kissed Sam’s standee too right after this and then they gave them all back to me. So you’re welcome fandom. I’m not even a shipper, but even I can appreciate the humor in this. Jensen is not as reserved as people thought he is like in the other photo he was practically the one orchestrating this whole thing, Misha was totally into it of course and Jared was just doing his best not to bust out laughing the entire time. So was I. If you want to share this photo go ahead, but please be kind and make sure you say where you got it from me. Don’t try to claim its yours or anyone else’s. Please, don’t make up any false stories about it either. No one forced them to do this and they were just being silly for me so don’t take it too seriously fandom please. I think between this picture, the unicorn one I have with Richard and Matt, the SuperAvengers photo op and all my Disney photo ops I can’t pick a favorite anymore I LOVE THEM ALL! Look out in Vegas I’ll be back with even more. Enjoy tonight’s episode fans.

On the seventh day of Christmas

My true love gave to me: seven feet of Christmas tree, six mistletoe kisses, five duets to sing, four mugs of cocoa, three dozen cookies, two sheriffs’ parties, and an angel who has trouble cooking turkey

“What about this one? This one looks pretty good.”

“Yeah. It’s nice.”

You turned to look at Sam, your eyes narrowed at him.

“That’s what you’ve said about the last dozen trees we’ve looked at,” you said.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” he said with a laugh. “They’ve all been nice. I don’t have any hard and fast opinions on any of these trees. They all kind of look the same to me.”

“If I’d known you were going to be such a grinch about this, I would have asked your brother or Cas to help me,” you muttered, turning back to the fir and walking its circumference.

“If I were being a grinch, I’d be saying they all look horrible,” Sam said, still grinning at you. “They’re nice, Y/N. Every tree here. I just kind of wish you’d pick one so we could get out of the cold.”

You rubbed your hands together at the mention of the weather; it had gotten chillier as evening wore on in the brightly lit tree lot and the sun had all but set.

“Alright,” you acquiesced with a sigh. “I guess you’re right. This one is probably as good as any—“ You cut yourself short, gasping as your eyes landed on a tree near the edge of the lot—one you hadn’t seen in your meandering path yet. You made a beeline for it and Sam trailed behind you, hands in his pockets.

“This one. This one is gorgeous. Can you be in love with a tree? I think I’m in love with a tree,” you said as you approached it. It towered over you with full branches; a beautiful, even evergreen all the way around.

“Y/N, that tree—“

“Don’t tell me,” you said, rounding on Sam. “You think it’s nice.” He smiled and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, trying not to laugh at your tone.

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “It’s not going to fit.” Your brow furrowed as you looked up at the tree again and you touched your fingertips lightly to the pine needles.

“It’s not that tall,” you said, your voice less sure than your words. “I bet it’ll fit.”

“Maybe if you chop the top quarter of it off,” Sam said. You gasped, scandalized, and placed yourself firmly between him and the tree.

“How dare you,” you said, eliciting a laugh from him. Your expression softened and you smiled back, hands on your hips. “So when I find my dream tree, that’s when you decide to have an opinion?”

“That’s when I decide to tell you I know for a fact that tree isn’t going to fit in your living room.”

You hesitated a moment before shaking your head at him, crossing your arms.


“No?” he asked.

“No. I think I’m pure of heart and full of the Christmas spirt just like this tree and it’s going to fit because I love it.”

“I think you’re crazy,” Sam said, smiling wide at you. You spotted the owner of the lot a few yards away and started for him, looking over your shoulder at Sam as you went.

“Crazy or not, get ready,” you said. “Because you’re helping me load that thing onto my car.”

“That tree is not going to fit,” he called after you one more time, but you already had your wallet out.


“I knew it wouldn’t fit.”

“Did you make sure the stand is set up right?”

“The stand is fine.”

“Well, maybe the tree is a little bit crooked and if you just straighten it out a little—“

“Y/N. I think you need to face facts here.”

Sam pulled himself out from under the tree where he’d been examining the stand and looked up at you.

“It grew on the way back to my house. It just wasn’t this big back at the lot, was it?” you asked quietly, frowning up at it and the top which was bent awkwardly against your ceiling. Sam stood and joined you, putting an arm around your shoulder and pulling you close. He kissed the top of your head with a small smile.

“It just has too much Christmas spirit,” he added. You grinned up at him, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Maybe so.”

The two of you stared on together for a moment at the enormous tree, leaning acutely to the right as if it were about ready to topple over. Your eyes went wide and you glanced up at Sam.

“You know where this tree might feel right at home?” you asked. He looked down at you, brow creased, before realization struck and he shook his head at you.

“Y/N, no.”

“And where there’s a pretty big lack of Christmas spirit that this tree could fix right away?”

“Seriously, Y/N, no. Dean’s going to kill both of us when he sees mess it’s going to make.”

“But wouldn’t it look beautiful in the bunker?” you asked, beaming up at the tree, and Sam let out a resigned sigh, long and slow.

“I’ll get the rope.”

The kind of cat you can’t just pick up

I blame @audiaphilios’ Patater obsession for this.


“Tater?” Jack said, hesitantly putting a hand on one huge shoulder. “Are you… okay? You’ve seemed kind of, uh, not yourself today.”

Jack could see Tater try to paste on his usual smile for about half a second before he gave up. “No, you right. I can ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Is about Parse…”

“Oh.” Jack knew about them, of course, but he didn’t suspect it would ever not be awkward to give advice about his own ex. “That’s fine. Go ahead.”

“He is very frustrating! I do a nice thing sometimes, and it seem to make him mad. I am doing it wrong?”

“Oh, no, it’s not you. Parse is…” How could he explain this? “Wait, I heard a song at Shitty’s the other day, it might explain. Hold on.” Jack dug his phone out of his bag to google the lyrics. He knew Bitty would chirp him about finally catching up with the right century, and he wouldn’t deny it was helpful to be able to look things up at a moment’s notice. He doubted he would have noticed song lyrics as often before spending so much time with Bitty, though.

“Here, this part.” He pointed to the second half of the song.

the one person who really knows me best
says i’m like a cat
yeah the kind of cat that you just can’t pick up
and throw into your lap
no, the kind that doesn’t mind being held
only when its her idea
yeah, the kind that feels what she decides to feel
when she is good and ready to feel it

and now i am prowling through the backyard
and i am hiding under the car
i have gotten out of everything
i’ve gotten into so far
i eat when i am hungry
and i travel alone
and just outside the glow of the house
is where i feel most at home

but in the window you sometimes appear
and your music is faint in my ears 

(“virtue” by ani difranco)

Tater studied the lyrics for a minute or so in silence, occasionally visibly translating something, but then he smiled.

“Ah, he is like Kit. I understand.”

When Tater subsequently took to calling Kent “kitten” in Russian during their calls on roadies, Jack didn’t notice, because his Russian was nearly nonexistent, but Bitty overheard once via Skype and refused to explain why he started giggling. If Tater hadn’t explained it to Jack, that was his business. But Bitty might be saving the knowledge for a future chirp, if Kent seemed to really deserve it.


“What about this one? This one looks pretty good.”

“Yeah. It’s nice.”

You turned to look at Sam, your eyes narrowed at him.

“That’s what you’ve said about the last dozen trees we’ve looked at,” you said.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” he said with a laugh. “They’ve all been nice. I don’t have any hard and fast opinions on any of these trees. They all kind of look the same to me.”

“If I’d known you were going to be such a grinch about this, I would have asked your brother or Cas to help me,” you muttered, turning back to the fir and walking its circumference.

“If I were being a grinch, I’d be saying they all look horrible,” Sam said, still grinning at you. “They’re nice, Y/N. Every tree here. I just kind of wish you’d pick one so we could get out of the cold.”


Read the full drabble here!


2014.07.16 - SH to JW [found on the coffee table under a buttonhole flower] 

You are Beyond the Scope of the Commonplace.


I know I don’t say it enough, and you probably think me ‘above’ such things because I refuse to do so at the culturally appropriate times, but right now, on this random, sunny, Wednesday afternoon, I have an overwhelming desire to tell you how truly extraordinary you are.

Keep reading

The Captain America RP Prompt List
  • "Air Conditioning Fully functional.": After an attack, key systems protecting our muses have failed.
  • "Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?": Our muses are about to get into a fight in an elevator
  • "Can any of you boys direct me to the Smithsonian? I'm here to pick up a fossil.": One of our muses is playfully mocking the other for being old
  • "Captain's Orders.": One of our muses refuses to follow an order, and the other comes to their aid.
  • "Consider it a resume.": One of our muses has just presented his qualifications for a mission.
  • "Cut off one head, two more shall take its place." : An enemy our muses thought gone has reappeared, twice.
  • "Don't look at me. I do what he does - just slower." : Our muses are trying to convince someone in a position of power to change their plan
  • "Gear Up! It's Time." : Our muses are getting ready for a mission
  • "Grenade!" : An explosive device has landed between our muses
  • "Go get him! I can swim." : Our muses are pursuing someone who used a child as a human shield
  • "His target is everywhere." : Our muses have discovered the scope of an enemy's plan
  • "If you have something to say, right now's a perfect time to keep it to yourself." : One of our muses has just removed themselves from an embarrassing situation
  • "If you're already in a secret building, why hide the elevator?" Our muses are discovering the layers of secrets in a black site.
  • "I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from." : One of our muses is explaining why they're going to war.
  • "I have not come all this way for safety, Doctor." : Our muses are testing a machine to the fullest potential
  • "I only pretend to know everything." : One of our muses has caught the other in a moment when they don't have all the answers.
  • "I'm Not Kissing You." : One of our muses is responding to the other being kissed by their crush
  • "I'm with you to the end of the line." : Our muses are
  • "It's probably too late to go to the bathroom, right?" : One of our muses has been locked into
  • " I thought the punishment usually came AFTER the crime." : Our muses are horrified by someone's operations in the name of protection.
  • "I thought you were smaller." : One of our muses is commenting about the other's changed physical appearance since the last time they met
  • "Just keep looking." Our muses are looking for someone who went missing.
  • "Let's go find two more!" Our muses are fighting through an enemy's lair
  • "Not a scratch, Doctor. Not a scratch.": One of our muses is letting the other take their vehicle out for a spin.
  • "Nothing. I'm just a kid from brooklyn." : Our characters are explaining to a villain why they were chosen to fight him.
  • "On Your Left": One of our muses is out jogging, and the other overtakes them
  • "Public displays of affection make people uncomfortable." : Our muses are kissing in a public place to throw off pursuit.
  • "Seems harmless enough. Hard to see what all the fuss is about." : Our muses are studying something previously unknown to science.
  • "So, let's get this straight. " "We barely got out of there alive, and you want us to go back?" : Our muses have been rescued from a prison camp, and our rescuer wants us to go bck
  • "What Do You Think?" "Yes, I think it works." : One of our muses has done something to unintentionally anger the other and the other lets them know in a showy way
  • "When Do We Start?" : Our muses are starting on a dangerous mission together.
  • "Who the Hell is Bucky?" One of our muses is brainwashed into attacking the other, and remembers them, barely.
  • "Write That Down!" : An experiment our muses were doing has a dramatic result
  • "You don't have one of those, do you?" : Our muses have met someone like one of them, with a noticeable physical difference.
  • "You doing anything fun Saturday night?" : One of our muses is trying to set the other up on a date.
  • "You have no idea how to talk to a woman, do you?" : One of our muses is socially awkward around the opposite sex, and the other has to help them.
  • "You need to keep both eyes open." : One of our muses is revealing a hidden failsafe the other didn't know about
  • "You're a lot heavier than you look." : One of our muses has just carried/lifted the other to safety.

“It just sucks always having to wonder what other people see when the look at me. Don’t you ever just want to be normal?" 

Brilliantly and sensitively written. 

I think the ‘Middlesex meets Mean Girls’ tagline is a bit flippant - yes, None of the Above deals with an intersex character much like Middlesex, but Mean Girls? Urg. Find me a YA novel where we don’t have some kind of teenage bitchiness. 


I remember when the Caster Semenya saga developed - a female South African athlete who it emerged was intersex -she was forced to undergo gender testing in order to be allowed to compete again. Born without a womb or ovaries, she had undescended testes, and people thought she was unfairly benefiting from extra testosterone. I just remember how utterly foul the coverage was - calling her "hermaphrodite”, “he/she?”, and and possibly worst of all “it”. Like Caster was some strange alien creature emerging from the deep.

Being South African myself, the coverage here was mostly supportive - but more out of a denial that this was just some Western myth created to discredit an African athlete. Which didn’t exactly help or contribute to anyone’s understanding of what intersex means.

So here’s a definition from the Intersex Society of North America:

“Intersex” is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male. For example, a person might be born appearing to be female on the outside, but having mostly male-typical anatomy on the inside. Or a person may be born with genitals that seem to be in-between the usual male and female types.

Though we speak of intersex as an inborn condition, intersex anatomy doesn’t always show up at birth. Sometimes a person isn’t found to have intersex anatomy until she or he reaches the age of puberty, or finds himself an infertile adult, or dies of old age and is autopsied. Some people live and die with intersex anatomy without anyone (including themselves) ever knowing.

What does this mean? Intersex is a socially constructed category that reflects real biological variation. To better explain this, we can liken the sex spectrum to the color spectrum. There’s no question that in nature there are different wavelengths that translate into colors most of us see as red, blue, orange, yellow. But the decision to distinguish, say, between orange and red-orange is made only when we need it—like when we’re asking for a particular paint color. Sometimes social necessity leads us to make color distinctions that otherwise would seem incorrect or irrational, as, for instance, when we call certain people “black” or “white” when they’re not especially black or white as we would otherwise use the terms. 


In None of the Above, seemingly “normal” girl Kristen - athlete, girlfriend, homecoming queen - finds out that she is intersex, and is understandable hurt, confused, upset, angry. Let’s be honest - teenagerhood is bad enough without having to deal with an existential question such as “Am I still a woman? What the hell does this mean? My life is over!”

She lives in fear that everyone will find out, but at the same time, the knowledge is a weight pressing down on her. Ultimately, after confiding to her best friends, the whole school finds out - and things go rapidly downhill from there.

People are mean. Moreso when it comes to things they just don’t understand. Especially when they don’t want the taint of association. 

Human nature truly sucks sometimes. When we encounter something out of our range of what is expected, out of what we consider to be normal, we poke at it and stare at it and generally react badly. 

And for our MC Kristen? This is hell. And the age of social media makes it ten times worse. Horrible comments, crudely photoshopped pictures, messages scrawled on her locker, people calling her a man, her boyfriend dropping her like a hot potato.. It’s all too much, and she embarks on home study to take a break. And, of course, her athletic career, upon which she is relying for a college scholarship, is called into question.

“What was I supposed to tell her? Not just my mom - everyone? My sister? My dad?” His voice broke, and I understood. Mr Wilmington’s favourite nickname for Sam was 'stud’.
“I don’t know…That it’s a medical condition.” A wave of grief and anger overwhelmed me. “God damn it Sam. It’s not like I am what I am out of spite." 

None of the Above is a great portrayal of a girl struggling with questions of her identity, and what it means to be a woman. It takes a long, hard look at gender constructs. But above all, it’s not only an "issue” book. It also tackles friendships, support systems, growing up and finding your inner strength to keep on keeping on. It looks at the problematic systems of labeling sexuality, and people in general. 

“What concerns you the most about your intersex diagnosis?”
“It’s hard to pick just one thing. But…I hate it that people don’t understand what intersex is. They think that I’m some kind of transsexual,” I blurted. Even as I said it out loud, I realised how petulant and closed-minded I must sound. “I mean, its not like there’s anything wrong with being a transsexual…,” I backpedaled, then sighed. Who was I kidding? “I know that getting upset about their calling me a tranny makes me just as judgemental as the people making fun of me. But it hurts anyway. It’s so ignorant." 

But it’s not all heavy. There are some light hearted moments as well, and heartwarming instances of people just being great and supportive.

"But I was a jerk. Do you know how much it sucks to be the jerk?”
“That’s kind of personal, isn’t it?" 

I hope this book is read far and wide. I hope it helps those who are struggling with any kind of gender issues. There aren’t a lot of books about intersex, transexual and other people who don’t fit into the gender binary out there, although this is slowly changing. And I hope it helps us to be more understanding and empathetic towards people who are defining a new normal. 

I passed huddles of giggling girls, a trio of guys smoking and telling jokes outside a club. Everyone seemed to understand that strength came in numbers and identity came as part of a group. 
I wouldn’t make the same mistake again. 


ARC received from Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review. Quotes are taken from the uncorrected proof, and may differ from the final publication.