the first time Andrew looks at Neil with the "you're my answer" expression??
- It’s a subtle thing, so quick it could easily be missed.
- It’s not so much “you’re my answer” as it is “this is meant to last and it is terrifying how much I want it to.”
- And Andrew is angry enough that Neil made him feel like this and that he is terrified of losing Neil that the look isn’t so much a love-sick one as it is an annoyed one.
- Maybe it happens when Neil tells the whole truth, more to him than to the feds, and insists on being Neil Josten and staying with the team. When Andrew realizes that Neil is really going to stay with him and not disappear.
- Maybe it’s in the van when Neil says “Neil Abram Josten” and sounds like he’s clinging to this reality and staying with Andrew and the rest of the team. When, finally, Neil Josten is a real person that is going to stay with him and not a runaway lost cause or a pipe dream. But Neil’s too busy tracing the shape of Andrew’s key into his palm to even notice the way Andrew is watching him.
- Maybe it happens while Andrew is holding the package with the matching armbands he bought for Neil clutched against his chest, waiting for the right moment to hand them over, while Neil blathers on about their future and tells Andrew “Choose us” and Andrew is overwhelmed by how tempting those two words are.
- Maybe it happens when Andrew places Neil’s hand on his chest and Neil knows this isn’t a real yes and is more worried about Andrew’s comfort than how much he wants to touch Andrew.
- Maybe it happens when Riko raises his racquet to hit Neil and Andrew charges over on instinct to protect Neil because Neil is his future and for once Andrew actually has the possibility of a future beyond graduation and he is clinging to that and he won’t let anyone take that away from him.