I See You; 1000 words
They were in the middle of doing homework – or attempting to do homework; Sana was so distracted that she had read the same sentence over a dozen times and Eva had looked at her phone more than her textbooks – when Eva spoke up.
“Y’know, when I fell out with Ingrid and the girls, they spoke shit about me too.” Eva puts down her pen, giving up the pretence that she was working. Sana already knew, of course, it was almost impossible to avoid the Nissen rumour mill.
“They told everyone what I did, but they also made a bunch of shit up and everyone just believed it because the first thing they heard was true so why would they question if the rest of it was?”
“A little bit of truth makes it hard to see the bullshit.” Sana acknowledged, reaching over and squeezing Eva’s hand briefly.
“Yeah.” Eva agreed. “People don’t really listen. They love the drama for a few seconds and then they move on with their lives and forget whatever bullshit people were spouting. Deep down everyone knows it’s all bullshit and no fact.”
“You think?” Sana raised an eyebrow.
“I do.” Eva nodded. “Why else would they forget and move on so fast? If you learn something horrible about someone that’s true you don’t just move on like that. It messes you up for a bit while it sinks in.” She continued, and Sana couldn’t help but be impressed by Eva’s assessment.
“What brought this on?”
“The shit people are saying about you.” Eva replied bluntly but, despite her insides turning ice, Sana kept her face smooth.
“Oh?” She could feel her heart in her throat and she hated it.
She hated the seed of doubt burrowed deep inside her whispering that Eva was going to call it quits on their relationship because it was all too much and not enough compared to her past exploits.
“No one believes the shit they’re saying about you. About how you almost killed someone back at Urra, or that you’re some crazy bitch who goes off with no reason or warning. They know it’s all just Sara grasping at straws because it’s come out that she’s a two faced bitch. At least you’re real, Sana. You don’t smile and people and then stab them in the back two seconds later. It’s pretty easy to tell when you’re pissed at someone.”
“It is?” Sana had always thought she was good at keeping that under wraps.
“Oh my god, yes? You go really quiet and don’t really talk to them and you get this little frowny face. It’s kinda cute. Not subtle though.” Eva smiled and Sana found herself laughing, colour rushing to her cheeks.
“Did you think you had the master poker face?” Eva giggled and Sana rolled her eyes, trying not to grin at Eva’s musical laugh.
“You did! You so did!” Eva laughed again. “No, you get this little crease right here.” Eva leaned forwards and dropped a light kiss between Sana’s eyebrows before leaning back in her seat. “You don’t frown properly, but it’s pretty obvious to me when you’re mad about something.”
“Maybe it’s just you.” Sana smiled fondly, butterflies fluttering in her stomach and the skin between her eyebrows tingling from Eva’s gentle kiss. “No one else really seems to see me. Not really.” Sana’s smile fell and she looked down at her laptop.
“They see a Muslim. Someone different and weird. Someone out of place, even though I was born here. They see my hijab and they write me off straight away.” Sana swallowed. Her voice hardly more than a whisper, but her words felt so heavy.
“Hey.” Eva murmured, her soft fingers curling gently around Sana’s chin and tilting her head up so she had no choice but to meet Eva’s gaze. “I see you. You’re so smart and you have such a big heart for the people you love. You’re so dedicated to your faith, to your god, and you stay faithful even though people give you shit for it. You actually…really inspire me.” It was Eva’s turn to blush now.
“Thank you.” Sana could barely get the words out, they were just a breath, but Eva heard them any way.
“I see you, Sana.” Eva repeated, skimming her thumb lightly over Sana’s cheek. “I see you and I wish everyone could see you how I do.”
“And how is that?”
“You’re the softest, most loving girl I’ve ever met.” Eva said simply, and Sana was mortified to feel wetness at the corner of her eyes. “Fuck anyone who says otherwise. They’re just close minded assholes and they’ll never come close to having as much love and light in their life as you bring to the people you love.” Eva brushed her thumbs under Sana’s eyes carefully, letting the tears roll down her warm skin.
“Don’t smudge my eyeliner!” Sana cried jokingly, desperate not to acknowledge the fact that she had cried at Eva’s kind words.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Eva winked, nudging her nose against Sana’s lightly as she wiped her fingers dry on her jeans.
“Now what the hell am I doing with this equation?” Eva flopped back in her chair and looked down at her notes.
Sana had never loved her more than she did right then.
Some people would have tried to push Sana for more, would have tried to get Sana to talk more about it or encourage her to cry, but Eva knew better than to try such things and Sana was beyond grateful.
“Sana,” Eva whined after a few seconds. “Come put that big brain of yours to use and help me!” Sana couldn’t resist that joking pout Eva aimed her way and she moved her chair closer to look at Eva’s maths work.
There was so much more to talk about. But not now.
For now, she would spend an afternoon with a girl who saw her.
And wasn’t that just the most blessed thing?