look i made a thing for her

I See You; 1000 words

They were in the middle of doing homework – or attempting to do homework; Sana was so distracted that she had read the same sentence over a dozen times and Eva had looked at her phone more than her textbooks – when Eva spoke up.

“Y’know, when I fell out with Ingrid and the girls, they spoke shit about me too.” Eva puts down her pen, giving up the pretence that she was working.  Sana already knew, of course, it was almost impossible to avoid the Nissen rumour mill.

“They told everyone what I did, but they also made a bunch of shit up and everyone just believed it because the first thing they heard was true so why would they question if the rest of it was?”

“A little bit of truth makes it hard to see the bullshit.” Sana acknowledged, reaching over and squeezing Eva’s hand briefly.

“Yeah.” Eva agreed.  “People don’t really listen.  They love the drama for a few seconds and then they move on with their lives and forget whatever bullshit people were spouting.  Deep down everyone knows it’s all bullshit and no fact.”

“You think?” Sana raised an eyebrow.

“I do.” Eva nodded.  “Why else would they forget and move on so fast? If you learn something horrible about someone that’s true you don’t just move on like that.  It messes you up for a bit while it sinks in.” She continued, and Sana couldn’t help but be impressed by Eva’s assessment.

“What brought this on?”

“The shit people are saying about you.” Eva replied bluntly but, despite her insides turning ice, Sana kept her face smooth.

“Oh?” She could feel her heart in her throat and she hated it.

She hated the seed of doubt burrowed deep inside her whispering that Eva was going to call it quits on their relationship because it was all too much and not enough compared to her past exploits.

“No one believes the shit they’re saying about you.  About how you almost killed someone back at Urra, or that you’re some crazy bitch who goes off with no reason or warning.  They know it’s all just Sara grasping at straws because it’s come out that she’s a two faced bitch.  At least you’re real, Sana.  You don’t smile and people and then stab them in the back two seconds later.  It’s pretty easy to tell when you’re pissed at someone.”

“It is?” Sana had always thought she was good at keeping that under wraps.

“Oh my god, yes?  You go really quiet and don’t really talk to them and you get this little frowny face.  It’s kinda cute.  Not subtle though.” Eva smiled and Sana found herself laughing, colour rushing to her cheeks.

“Did you think you had the master poker face?” Eva giggled and Sana rolled her eyes, trying not to grin at Eva’s musical laugh.

“No!”

“You did!  You so did!” Eva laughed again.  “No, you get this little crease right here.” Eva leaned forwards and dropped a light kiss between Sana’s eyebrows before leaning back in her seat. “You don’t frown properly, but it’s pretty obvious to me when you’re mad about something.”

“Maybe it’s just you.” Sana smiled fondly, butterflies fluttering in her stomach and the skin between her eyebrows tingling from Eva’s gentle kiss. “No one else really seems to see me. Not really.” Sana’s smile fell and she looked down at her laptop.

“They see a Muslim. Someone different and weird.  Someone out of place, even though I was born here.  They see my hijab and they write me off straight away.” Sana swallowed.  Her voice hardly more than a whisper, but her words felt so heavy.

“Hey.” Eva murmured, her soft fingers curling gently around Sana’s chin and tilting her head up so she had no choice but to meet Eva’s gaze.  “I see you.  You’re so smart and you have such a big heart for the people you love.  You’re so dedicated to your faith, to your god, and you stay faithful even though people give you shit for it.  You actually…really inspire me.” It was Eva’s turn to blush now.

“Thank you.” Sana could barely get the words out, they were just a breath, but Eva heard them any way.

“I see you, Sana.” Eva repeated, skimming her thumb lightly over Sana’s cheek. “I see you and I wish everyone could see you how I do.”

“And how is that?”

“You’re the softest, most loving girl I’ve ever met.” Eva said simply, and Sana was mortified to feel wetness at the corner of her eyes.  “Fuck anyone who says otherwise.  They’re just close minded assholes and they’ll never come close to having as much love and light in their life as you bring to the people you love.” Eva brushed her thumbs under Sana’s eyes carefully, letting the tears roll down her warm skin.

“Don’t smudge my eyeliner!” Sana cried jokingly, desperate not to acknowledge the fact that she had cried at Eva’s kind words.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Eva winked, nudging her nose against Sana’s lightly as she wiped her fingers dry on her jeans.

“Now what the hell am I doing with this equation?” Eva flopped back in her chair and looked down at her notes.

Sana had never loved her more than she did right then.

Some people would have tried to push Sana for more, would have tried to get Sana to talk more about it or encourage her to cry, but Eva knew better than to try such things and Sana was beyond grateful.

“Sana,” Eva whined after a few seconds.  “Come put that big brain of yours to use and help me!” Sana couldn’t resist that joking pout Eva aimed her way and she moved her chair closer to look at Eva’s maths work.

There was so much more to talk about.  But not now.

For now, she would spend an afternoon with a girl who saw her.

And wasn’t that just the most blessed thing?

Okay I looked that up again, the thin air thing and the path stuff is actually right, probably because Ymir Fritz made a pact with the source of everything material for the Titan power. But I actually got the Titan stuff wrong. Ymir Fritz died and her power was split among nine titans, instead of her creating them. And the families that inherited the titans started to fight among each other and split up the land and that’s how the Marley got a hold of them. Paradis was the last hold of the Eldians and King Fritz, so that’s how they ended up there.

Thunderbirds       Chapter 11

Short chapter this time


The following night when Maxine brought me my usual fries and Coke she also brought a piece of chocolate silk pie.  I looked at her questioningly.  “On me. For luck,” she told me.  “It’s his favorite.” I pushed it onto the table across from me along with a fork.

   I expected a long wait.  I hadn’t been able to focus on much of anything that day.  We were essentially packed and ready to leave, all the arrangements had been made, I was out of things to do.  After picking over some food I had headed to the diner early to await whatever fate was in store for me.  I didn’t have to wait long, however.  The ice in my drink hadn’t even started to melt yet when Shannon arrived.  He came to stand next to my booth, hands in pockets, and a wave of longing arrived with him.  I wanted to leap up and throw my arms around him but I knew that ship had sailed.

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Jacque (or “It Won’t Happen Again p5”)

“Jacque should return today,” Porthos said casually to his wife while she was cuddling their two years old son, but the woman wasn’t paying much attention
“Who?” she whispered in return, not really focused on the conversation since her child was laughing with his most precious smile, but her husband insisted “Jacque. One of our best cadet’s and also Anne’s…” he hesitated some seconds, clearly unsure on which words to use, then, eventually he went on “Ex-boyfriend, I guess.”
“Oh,” Elodie replied giggling “That Jacque.”
“That Jacque?”
“The pretty young thing” she explained herself, but her husband’s shocked expression made her roll her eyes “Don’t give me that look, he WAS gorgeous.”
“He was young, yes.” he agreed with her “Embarrassingly young, he could have been her son, but I thought Anne… liked him”
“She did” Elodie confirmed, “He was handsome, tireless and he cared about her.”
“With tireless you mean…” Porthos started, but his wife’s smutty smile was more than an adequate explanation “Oh…”
“He was gentle but firm. He made her laugh and…”
“She seemed happy; I thought she was happy” Porthos insisted “She was happy.”
“No,” Elodie said interrupting him  “I mean… yes, she was, but it was not that simple.”
“She was…” he started, but the words died in his mouth. Porthos had to admit that had no idea why Anne had done what she had done, what she had been doing and what she still was “SHE” his wife explained “She was punishing… someone else.”
“Athos?” Porthos supposed, and when Elodie nodded he continued “Why?”
At that moment she let her younger child go and watch the little Jean-Louis taking some steps towards his elder sister’s room. After some seconds she turned in her husband’s direction and answered: “She had found out his child’s name.”
“Oh.”
“Anne was mad” she hissed and after that Elodie made a short pause, remembering that strange encounter they had near the doctor’s house “Incredibly mad” she continued “And desperate. She wanted to hurt him, at least that’s the impression I got”
“You’re right.” Pothos agreed after some seconds “How have I not thought about that? It was so…”
“So?”
“Crystal-clear” he replied remembering some episodes, episodes that back then had seemed irrelevant, but that at that moment suddenly made sense “He hated Jacque” Porthos whispered, lost in his thoughts. “Oh, yes of course he did” Elodie answered, but her husband still had difficulties in accepting the truth “Jacque is such an amazing swordsman, I just… thought he felt threatened.”
“He did felt threatened in a way.”
“Because he was screwing his wife.”
“Because” Elodie corrected him “He was a young version of himself who was screwing his wife.”
“Those two…” Porthos started, and his wife nodded in return “Yes, they are a mess.”

Those words haunted her for another couple of hours.
The last time he had seen Anne, no longer than a week before, she had been pale, so extremely pale, and even before that, her friend had been feeling unwell for… days and that was not something that usually happened to Anne.
In the end, Elodie decided it was about time to pay a visit to her friend, even though she decided to leave her younger child to Constance, even though Anne was becoming softer, it would have been an excessive risk to dare her patient with two young, rowdy children.  

When, sometime later, she and her daughter arrived at Anne’s place she found her friend resting on her bed, her face once again pale, her face exhausted.

“Anne…?”
“You really can’t live without bothering me, can you?” Anne whispered, slowly opening her eyes, trying to focus on her friend.
“No, I can’t” the other woman replied amused “Still in bed?”
“Obviously,” Anne remarked annoyed, but then she saw the little Marie-Cezette hiding behind her mother “Is my little niece there?”
“Auntie!” the little girl screamed reaching for Anne, who hugged her tight, all of that until the attentive gaze of the child’s mother. Elodie smiled gently. For reasons she could not fully understand Milady de Winter, the Queen’s personal assassin had developed a weakness for her little daughter.  
“Don’t give me that look” Anne warned her “I’m not softer.”
“Yes you are” Elodie insisted with her victory smile and at that moment Marie-Cezette separated from her so strange adoptive aunt “How are you? Mom’s worried.”
“She always is” Anne replied “Now go to play with my jewellery before I change my mind” she concluded and the child left in a hurry incredibly excited.

Only once the little girl was out of their reach Anne spoke again “Why are you here, Elodie? And where have you left the other one?”
“I left my son with Constance, and I’m here because…” she hesitated for some seconds, unsure how to bring the subject up “I was talking to Porthos this morning, Anne” she took a small breath before finishing the sentence “Jacque should return today.”
There were some seconds of silence, seconds to which Anne nodded impassively; then she hissed “I wish him all the best, but…”
“Athos is not the man for you,” her friend said interrupting her “He has a family, and he’s an old drunk…” she continued exasperated “And Jacque…” Elodie said rolling her eyes “He was perfect for you.”
“Perfection is boring.”
“Maybe.” Elodie acknowledged “BUT don’t tell ME that YOU have never thought about how much easier your life would be if you just give up on the foolish idea that you and Athos might…”
“Don’t.”
“… and accept that someone like Jacque could make you happy, so happy… You know he loves you.”
“Well, he shouldn’t” Anne replied annoyed “I’ve never asked him to.”
“But it happened anyway.” Elodie insisted “Let yourself be loved, Anne. You deserve that. You deserve that more than anyone”
“That ship has sailed” the other woman insisted harshly but not harsh enough to convince his friend to leave her alone. Porthos’s wife, in fact, smiled once again to her before saying “If you say so. But don’t say YOU never think about what Jacque could give you because that would be a lie. A giant lie.”

And at that moment Anne looked away, knowing that her annoying friend was right. She HAD thought about how much easier would have been to allow herself to love and to be loved by that young, charming, gentle boy, but that was not the road she had chosen. It had been funny at the beginning, almost regenerating, she was drowning, Athos was slowly killing her, and that boy had been air, fresh air, but SHE had chosen another path.

And yet she had liked the way he used to… care for her. The way he used to look at her like she was the Queen of France or the most beautiful woman on the planet. And also she liked the way he used to hold her, the way he used to kiss her hand and touch her body. But what she liked the most was that everyone knew it. That Athos knew it, that she was doing that right in front of him, of his friends. He had hurt her, and she was hurting him back, and in that, she had been trying so hard to find a strange and perverse sense of satisfaction, never finding some peace.  

But there had been a time when she had succeeded, a time when she simply knew it, a time when she had seen how much her actions had hurt Athos.

The Musketeers had organised a special drill in the forest, the cadets had been divided into two groups, and some of the older soldiers had been assigned to supervise them. During the training, Anne had appeared from nowhere, and she and Jacque had vanished, with the intention of enjoying their time together.

Once they had been out of everyone’s gaze, Jacque had started to kiss her hungrily, pulling her into him and crushing her against a tree, not that Anne had any intention of complaining. She could still remember how reassuring and yet hungry his lips had been.

And she could still remember the greediness with which he had touched her thigh, pushing her her skirts up around her waist with a roughness that had made her laugh, happy to feel his hands on her skin. Then she had seen him, Athos, who was watching them, paralysed with a shocked glare. Maybe he had there for a while, maybe he had just arrived, Anne was not sure, but at that moment she saw his despair, his bitterness. She saw how his eyes had narrowed, trying to contain his rage, his disappointment, his pain and she had hugged Jacque in return, and she was still doing so as he was sinking inside her, pushing her up against the tree, his breath against her neck, Athos’s eyes on them.

Anne could still remember how she had gasped watching the man that used to be her husband. Watching him, watching his face, his eyes, watching him while HE was watching the woman that used to be his wife fucking her young lover. Anne kept watching at him and then suddenly pleasure became something else. Her body was feeling an orgasm rising inside her, her body was meeting his thrusts, urging him for more, but her chest suddenly hurt, and some tears fell silently but unexpectedly on her face. Before she knew it, she had cried so much that she could barely see.But at that moment Athos was already gone.

Anne could still remember how Jacque had just continued, without even noticing that she was crying and she could still remember the moment he had moved off of her and how his worried voice had sounded “Milady…? What…” he had started hesitant “Did I hurt you?” and she could still remember how fast and energetically she had shaken her head, the way she had readjusted her skirts, avoiding his face “No, you’ve done nothing, that’s…” But Anne couldn’t go any further. Not that any words were needed, not to him, Anne’s expression was clear enough “It’s about your husband again, isn’t it?”  he had suggested, and Anne had nodded in return “I’m sorry” she had hissed, and Jacque had smiled sadly “So am I”, and those were the last words he had said to her.

The following day Jacque among with other cadets and Musketeers left on a mission. He had left Paris, and he had left her.

“Anne?” Elodie called her, forcing her friend to go back to the present time “Anne..?”
“I… I don’t…” Anne started, touching her belly “I don’t feel well” she grunted and so Elodie touched her forehead, worried “I think you could have the fever” she whispered, but Anne was already loosing conscience and Elodie decided to leave, she decided to leave with the need to make sure that the doctor would visit her friend “I’ll come back soon, ok?” Elodie said “I’ll call someone to stay here with you, while we are gone, just don’t…” and she kissed her friend’s forehead before leaving the apartment.

Every time I watch Skam I feel their emotions. Whether it be Eva, Noora, Isak, or Sana’s season when the characters were feeling a type of emotion I felt it too. I say this because even though I relate to Sana the most I feel her up and down emotions. For example the clip yesterday with her and Yousef. Before the clip I was angry at Yousef and was like WTF all caps everything!!! And then while I watched them play basketball I once again started liking him and went AWWW omfg he is so cute and AWWWW they look so cute together. The whole thing just made me smile and happy. Now today’s clip……. When I heard the boy’s saying he was with Noora the happy high crashed and I felt sad. I empathized, even though I’ve never gone thru something like that it felt like I was going through it. Which leads me to my point. I am once again back at going WTF YOUSEF and wanting to hurl things at him even though he is cute as fuck. Also this show is so good even though it makes me want to hurl things at it and go WTF also.

anonymous asked:

i have something to share with you all i ' m not sure of it because we heard a lot of thing and it turned out to be wrong first this sl is not ending anytime soon the reason behind all of the plot holes they want us to believe that robert is the father and her is his victim there's not going to be any baby scan or DNA test or doctor visit because she is lying about the baby something happened at her abortion and she did it get over it she only came back to get her revenge on robert

👀👀👀

1,000 words in! Here’s a couple of (unedited) paragraphs for ya; 

‘I looked up at her, my own body coming alive just from the sight of her. She looked like some goddess or angel, her hair fanning around her like a halo, the evening light giving her a skin a golden glow.

I spent some time with her other breast, just to make things fair before moving back to meet her in a hungry kiss. By the end, we were both breathless, and I most likely had red lipstick all over my face, but at this point I didn’t care.

“I want you,” She pleaded against my lips. At first, I thought about teasing her like she’d been doing to me all night. But the velvet quality to her voice and the way she looked up at me with wide, innocent eyes made me weak.’ 

😊

3

“But right now, belief is all I am.”

Did y’all see the Doctor draw strength from River’s words. Her beliefs about him, is who he wanted to be. And it saved him. 

I can’t do this no mo.

10

top 50 otps of all time ☆ #45. Peyton Sawyer & Jake Jagielski 

“Yes, losing your heart’s desire is tragic, but gaining your heart’s desire? That’s all you can hope for. This year I wished for love … to immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted and if having that is tragic, then give me tragedy because I wouldn’t give it back for the world.”

Do you know what I will always be bitter about from the waste that was TW?

That in order to give us cheap escalating horror and tragedy, they never let us saw the smallest things about the day to day life in the Pack.

Like what waitresses think when they see this mismatch group of beautiful people cram into the booth of their dinner at 3AM,  clothes half torn up and smiling like crazy people. Do they think they are a kinky sex club? Do they think they are actors in a horror movie on a break? Do they just don’t bat an eye because they have seen so much worse (and they are polite and give good tips?)

Or what shopping is life as a werewolf. Are you able to smell if a fruit is ripe? are there security footage of Derek helping an old lady chose the right watermelon somewhere?

Where is my boy scout type moment, with Derek trying to teach as many things as he can about surviving into the woods? Where is my “don’t fuck with boar. Seriously don’t do it. You are a werewolf but they are boars, if you see one just climb a tree for fuck sake, don’t be a hero”. Where is my Scott and Jackson fighting about a type a moss and what it means.

Where are my “craming for exams” night, with lot of junk food, Lydia looking vaguely condescendant, and Derek not understanding why they are highschoolers spilled all over his floor? (but looking secretly pleased about it)

Or the pack reaction the first time they saw Derek hale in a suit (because damn).  Lydia would sigh happily (because she totally chose the suit and she’s the best), Erica would stay silent and poker face and take so much pictures with her phone it’s basically a movie, Jackson would grumble something, kira would be all excited, etc…

(Stiles would totally screech and nope right out of the door in self defense, let’s be honest)


I just… I miss the little things that would have been (even if it made me love the fandom that much more)

Steven’s Mental Health in Season 4...

…and why he didn’t save the Rubies, unbubble Bismuth, or confront his feelings about Jasper.

Because there is a reason, brought to light by the events of I Am My Mom, and it fits rather well with Steven’s character as of late.

Throughout Mindful, he doesn’t want to think about what he’s gone through because his personal trauma from it is just too great. But then it all comes crashing down at the end, and he forces himself to confront it, right?

Well no, actually. At the end of the episode, Stevonnie just lands in the field and smiles at the sky. At the time, I criticized this for being a quick resolution, but now I realize that that was never a resolution at all: It was just Steven burying his emotional problems even deeper so that not even Stevonnie could be affected by them.

That’s why he doesn’t immediately go to make amends with Bismuth or Jasper or Eyeball: The traumatic stress he associates with their encounters override any sense of empathy he has towards them, and he subconsciously tries to forget so he doesn’t feel that guilt and can just go back to the way things were before (much like a certain singing Diamond he’s heard so much about…)

I think that once Steven’s mental state improves, he’ll consciously try to make amends.

Take a look at the next time Steven’s issues came to a boil, Steven’s Dream: This time, all it takes is a simple question from Steven and a panicked outburst from Garnet to drive Steven into an angry rant about “everyone lying” to him. The problems from Mindful were still eating away at Steven, he probably just didn’t realize it because he was pretty much avoiding those thoughts altogether, and for a while, it was working.

So, Steven goes to Korea, Greg gets kidnapped, and now Steven has a whole new set of things to be guilty over. No matter how justified his actions might have been, Steven’s biggest character flaw is his guilt complex, so he inherently feels responsibility for what happened. (And this isn’t recent, we saw a glimpse of it in Message Received when he blamed himself for Peridot’s supposed betrayal)

However, in the episode Steven’s just too busy worrying about his dad to hear “Oh Steven we’re so sorry” and he rushes them into space. They run into the Rubies and Steven does say “We’ll pick them up on the way back” but pay attention to his tone of voice: It doesn’t sound like he’s saying “Oh no they’re out here we have to save them,” he’s saying “Yeah yeah those guys yeah let’s get back to work and save dad okay” because Steven wasn’t exactly in the best emotional state at the time. I can completely understand his subconscious just NOT wanting to think about the Rubies at all because the events of Bubbled leaving a lingering negative connotation.

After Steven gets back, he’s forced to confront his demons yet again in Storm in the Room, but hey! Everything’s fine in the end because Greg got pizza and it’s all smiles…

Until we get to Lion 4 and he’s right back in the thick of an existential crisis. Sure, he gets a talk with Greg and this is resolved in the end…but is it?

Because by the end of that very week, Steven is giving himself up to be executed in his mother’s place. And all it took was a small mistake he made long ago, and a scenario in which there were no other immediate options.

So, to answer the question of why Steven supposedly let others suffer throughout season 4, it’s because he is suffering himself. He’s been wallowing in it all season, and he hasn’t done anything substantial about it because in his mind that’ll just make things worse and make himself a burden to others. I mean, look at what happened every time his true feelings rose to the surface:

- Mindful Education: Connie almost fell to her death.

- Steven’s Dream: Greg got kidnapped.

These were things that were resolved in the immediate, sure, but long-term? Steven doesn’t want anyone to get hurt, and he’s been indirectly led to believe that by confronting his problems, he’ll just cause others harm.

So we get to I Am My Mom, and he’s given a way out: Sure, he *thinks* he’s doing it to save the Earth and his friends, but subconsciously he’s doing it because it’s his ticket out of the mess he’s been stuck living in for the past four seasons.

The takeaway I get from Season 4 is that Steven’s emotional issues are much bigger than anyone could suspect, and that a million “Sorry’s,” “It’s not your fault’s,” fusion therapy sessions, and sweet words & smiles can only help him so far.

This isn’t the season of Steven letting people suffer for no reason; It’s the season of Steven suffering himself without anyone taking enough notice to do anything, to the point where he inadvertently lets people suffer out of his own desire to not make things worse.

“Don’t worry,” Greg & the Gems probably told themselves after Bubbled, Mindful Education, and the Zoo arc, “Steven’s fine now. See? He’s happy, he must be fine. We told him it was alright, he must be fine. If there was something wrong, we would know about it. He’s doing fine.”

Well he wasn’t.

2

also, can you believe that this is totally something that isak and sana just do, sometimes? throw random science questions at each other, in the middle of a conversation? it’s just so them. and you know what? isak probably already knew the answer to that question he was asking, but this is something that’s familiar and safe between the two of them, it’s one of their usual things, and something he knows will get sana to talk to him, and he can see if the sana he knows, his sana, is still there, and she was! and she replied to him, fully. and you can see how her face softens up when you compare the look on her face as he asks the question and the look on her face by the time she answered the question. there’s this hint of a smile. it made her feel better, in that moment. i think isak didn’t ask the question because he wanted the answer to it, he asked the question because he knew that answering it would be a good for sana

2

He needed to tell her…what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn’t pull himself together into some semblance of a man for her. That without meaning to, he’d begun to lean on her, to look for her, to need her near. He needed to thank her for his new hat.