look i just have a lot of feelings about cesare at the moment


Dean had slowly come to realize that he didn’t want to die young and bloody; he wanted to live as long as possible. He didn’t want a new woman every night, he wanted a lifelong companion. And the biggest realization: he knew who he wanted that companion to be.

Dean and Castiel progress through a series of firsts. (1.2k)

A/N: This should’ve been posted ages ago, whoops. To clarify, I wrote this before season 11 ended, so it diverges sometime near the end of the season.


Dean wasn’t really sure when the idea was planted. Maybe it was when he realized he wanted something more from life than monsters and one-night stands, maybe when Sam brought up the idea of settling down with another hunter. Maybe it was even earlier than that. After Purgatory, or finding Cas without a memory and realizing he’d forgiven the angel despite all the things he’d done.

In any case, Dean had slowly come to realize that he didn’t want to die young and bloody; he wanted to live as long as possible. He didn’t want a new woman every night, he wanted a lifelong companion. And the biggest realization: he knew who he wanted that companion to be. Some deeply-buried part of him had known for a long time – years, really – but it took Castiel being possessed by Lucifer to realize how much the angel meant to him, and in a different way than Sam did or Bobby had. And to find out why Cas had said yes… well, Dean could add that to the ever-growing list of things he’d done that made him feel like shit.

With Cas back in the bunker and recuperating, though, Dean was determined to change things. If Cesar and Jesse had shown him anything, it was that it was possible to settle down and be happy with a hunter, and Dean was finally ready to try.

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Highlights from All the Bright Places
  • Finch: .. it's only when I'm awake that I think about dying.
  • Finch: Worthless. Stupid. These are the words I grew up hearing. They're the words I try to outrun, because if I let them in, they might stay there and grow and fill me up and in, until the only thing left of me is worthless stupid worthless stupid worthless stupid freak.
  • Finch: This time will be different. This time, I will stay awake.
  • Finch: "My own brain is to me the most unaccountable of machinery-- always buzzing, humming, soaring roaring diving,, and then buried in the mud. And why? What's this passion for?"
  • Violet: "If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger."
  • Violet: Like everything else that doesn't last, today is gone now, but it was a pretty good day.
  • Finch: You have to live your life like you'll never be sorry. It's easier to do the right thing from the start so there's nothing to apologize for.
  • Finch: I know life well enough to know you can't count on things staying around or standing still, no matter how much you want them to.
  • Finch: The problem with people is they forget that most of the time it's the small things that count. Everyone's so busy waiting in the Waiting Place. If we stopped to remember that there's such a thing as a Purina Tower and a view like this, we'd all be happier.
  • Finch: What if life could be this way? Only the happy parts, none of the terrible, not even the mildly unpleasant. What if we could just cut out the bad and keep the good?
  • Finch: (referring to "impending, weightless doom") I like the idea of something that can give you those feelings all the time. I want something like that, and then I look at Violet and think: There she is.
  • Finch: I walk through the black Indiana night, under a ceiling of stars, and think about the phrase "elegance and euphoria," and how it describes exactly what i feel with Violet.
  • Finch: I pull her in and kiss her the way I've always wanted to kiss her, a lot more R-rated than PG-13.
  • Finch: Ultraviolet Remarkey-able, I think I love you.
  • Finch: The future is uncertain, but that can be a good thing.
  • Finch (while strangling Roamer): You put me here. You did this. It's your fault, your fault, your fault.
  • Finch: If a song's meant to stay around, you carry it with you in your bones.
  • Finch (quoting Cesare Pavese): "We do not remember days, we remember moments."
  • Finch: Decca, sometimes there's beauty in the tough words-- it's all in how you read them.
  • Violet: People like Theodore Finch don't die. He's just wandering.
  • Violet: May your eye go to the Sun, To the wind your soul .... You are all the colors in one, at full brightness.
  • Violet: What a terrible feeling to love someone and not be able to help them.
  • Violet: I didn't know that my life forever changing would be because you loved me and then left, and in such a final way.
  • Violet: Just because they're dead, they don't have to be. And neither do we.
  • Finch: You make me love you, And that could be the greatest thing my heart was ever fit to do ....
  • : Theodore Finch-- I was alive. I burned brightly. And then I died, but not really. Because someone like me cannot, will not, die like everyone else. I linger like the legends of the Blue Hole. I will always be here, in the offerings and people I left behind.
  • Jennifer Niven: ... it is important to talk about what happened.
  • Theodore Finch: You are all the colors in one, at full brightness.
National Coming Out Day

“Is this what I think it means?” Mary asked Sam. She’d taken to using their laptops easily after Sam and Dean had given her a few pointers. It was much easier to check news headlines than subscribing to newspapers. Sam looked over her shoulder at the header of the search engine.

“Yeah, Mom. It’s National Coming Out Day.” Sam said nonchalantly. He’d grown up in a more open and accepting generation so a friend or colleague being LGBTQ was really no big deal. He’d even kissed a guy in college just to see what it was like. It wasn’t bad, just not his thing.

“So much has changed. When I was a kid you barely whispered the word ‘gay’ even if you knew friends and family who were. Now I see all kinds of couples holding hands and kissing and it’s just so normal.”

Dean wandered in with a sandwich in one hand and a beer in the other. “What’s normal?’

Sam cleared his throat. “”We were talking about National Coming Out Day and um…generation differences.”

Dean flushed a little. He sat down at the library table opposite his mother. He took a long pull on his beer. “So how exactly does your generation feel about it?”

Mary pursed her lips and mused. “With all the evil and horrible things I’ve seen in life, what you boys have gone through…I think it’s beautiful when two people find love no matter who they are. It counteracts some of the ugly.” She closed the laptop and reached a had across to touch Dean’s arm. “I know about Charlie, how special she was, how much you loved her. And Cesar and Jesse are married hunters. They sound like good people.”

Sam looked nervously between his mother and brother. He had a death grip on the back of the chair he was standing by. He tried to get a read on how Dean was reacting to their mother’s statement.

Dean pushed his sandwich away and finished his beer in another gulp. He kept his eyes on the table. “So it wouldn’t matter to you if one of your kids wasn’t straight?”

“Of course not. From the moment I knew you existed I wanted you to be happy and healthy.”

Dean folded his hands in front of him. Sam saw the tension scrunch up his shoulders so he came around to work them in a makeshift massage. He hoped it also gave his brother the courage to keep talking.

“I’m bisexual, Mom. I’ve always known but I’ve never been in a relationship with another guy until…well, until Cas. We’ve been keeping it on the downlow and he’s been away a lot…”

Tears welled up in Mary’s eyes. She came around from her side of the table to his and hugged him tight. “Dean I was so afraid you were alone and Castiel is so perfect for you.” Sam sighed in relief. He’d been keeping his brother’s secret since the Leviathan came. Dean had confessed before succumbing to a drunken blackout that he was in love with Cas. Sam confronted him the next day and he didn’t deny it.

“So you’re good with this?” Dean asked his mother.

“Of course I am, baby.”

Dean reached in his jeans pocket and pulled out his phone. Cas was his number one on speed dial. “Hey…you busy? I just wanted to tell you that I told Mom about us, about me….She took it great…of course she likes you…come home soon, okay?…Love you too…Bye.”

anonymous asked:

how exactly does damon consume elena? like the show always say it but how? why doesnt stefan consume her?

Haha, I actually talk about this a lot and I have so many different posts on it. I have no problem going through it again and for those who follow my blog, I will try to at least switch up my examples.

OK here is the thing about the show and delena and consuming love. I honestly believe that the show doesn’t know what consuming love is and I believe this not just because we don’t see how Damon consumes Elena, but because Elena keeps saying it like it’s something that you want for yourself. No one actually wants a consuming love. The actual definition of to ‘consume’ is to destroy, to use up. To be consumed by someone is to love them so much that you hate them, you hate them for making you feel this way, for making you feel like you don’t belong to yourself, consuming love makes you irrational and obsessive and possessive and it tears you apart but you can’t stop because the intensity is overwhelming and there’s no alternative, absolutely none.

And shows portray this type of relationship wonderfully:

But Delena isn’t any of this and I don’t just mean that they’re lacking in the angst, they’re lacking in the intensity, they’re lacking in the chemistry needed to make a consuming love work. Elena doesn’t have a personality when she’s with Damon because the writers wanted to avoid the type of intensity you see in the above gifs; consuming love requires conflict and inner turmoil and the sense that you’re going crazy but you just can’t stop, you just can’t walk away. But what the writers did with Elena, she forgives Damon everything and anything, she only thinks about being with Damon and his well-being because they didn’t want a consuming love, they didn’t want conflict, they just wanted Elena to be with Damon no questions asked, they just wanted her to be his symbol.

Now with Stefan and Elena, their relationship is healthy, their love is selfless and it enhances the goodness that is already in their lives, it doesn’t overwhelm it to the point that they’re the only two people in their world, that is why their love isn’t a consuming one. Yet at the same time, they went through their consuming phase in season 3.

Elena is so hellbent on finding Stefan

that everyone around her thinks that it’s naive and it’s irrational

and Stefan isn’t supposed to have any contact with Elena, he wants her to move on, he wants her to be happy, he wants her to be safe and yet he can’t help but call her even though he knows he isn’t good for her, even though he knows she can’t go looking for him:

And while his love for her is actually a source of goodness and purity for him to the point that he can fight his demons because he loves her that much, he can actually do the impossible and resist an Original’s compulsion:

Elena’s love for Stefan actually puts her in danger, there’s consequences to it:

And yet that does nothing to stop Elena from risking her life again by falling off the bleachers:

she brings back Lexi to help Stefan break through his non-humanity:

and she realizes again and again that she’s become obsessed with getting Stefan back and she reprimands herself, she makes grand claims of moving on:

and Stefan has hurt her:

Damon is in the mix now:

And again, Stefan knows all of this, Stefan knows that he’s been terrible to her, he sees Damon getting closer, he knows he’s not in the right place to be anywhere near Elena so he keeps his distance but then a moment comes along and neither of them can help themselves:

and Elena is there like:

And Stefan is messed up, he can’t be around her because of the self-hatred and the guilt and the timing:

So he leaves her again, he has to:

But then we circle back in a few episodes later and it’s this:

So yeah, it can be said that in season 3 Stefan did consume Elena but it’s Stefan and it’s Stelena so you see them work their way out of that toxicity and back to a healthy relationship and they know much more about each other, about how badly they can wound one another but how loyal they are to each other. How in all the world is Delena ever going to compete with any of this? They can’t. 

*absolutely none of these gifs are mine*

Jungkook Scenario: Love Me Right.

Request: you&jungkook are friends from high school(noona reader),she has feelings for him, but feels wronged bcause jk is younger.Jungkook likes her and starts being affectionate which startles her, doesnt know what to think~difficulties and lastly happiness♡

Genre: Romance.

You watched him as he walked past you on the school’s hallway and felt that little flutter inside your stomach that you couldn’t control, you looked away instantly, reminding yourself that you should not feel that way towards Jungkook, he was younger than you, although you looked at him and only saw that beautiful boy on which you had the biggest crush, but age was an issue and you knew you shouldn’t fall for him, you hadn’t even insinuated anything to him, in part because you were too shy and in part because you had never seen the proper moment for it.

Nevertheless the opportunity presented to you on that same week, you were on the cafeteria, looking for a place to sit but every table was packed, not even one single spot for you to lunch. But then you saw one place, only that it had a person already siting on it, and not just any person, it was your ultimate crush Jeon Jungkook. You hesitated on going and sit with him, you were friends but you were nervous around him for obvious reasons, but you were also his sunbae so technically he shouldn’t be opposing, the thing was you didn’t want him to find out your feelings for him, or did you? Sighing heavily you told yourself your were a big indecisive mess and you should calm down.

Gathering courage you went there, standing tall with a pleasant but confident expression, calm and collected, you would be making advances today but there was no need on being too obvious either. Jungkook raised his head from his gigantic sandwich.

-Y/N, are you going to lunch with me today?-

That was it, he was looking at you smiling slightly and you felt week on the knees.

Keep reading

“So ... let’s talk about your father.” Dean, Denial and John Winchester’s A+ Parenting, or, Why Dean still hasn’t launched a grenade.

(CW 1: This post deals with the episode “Sam, Interrupted,” which has a fairly inconsistent approach towards mental illness and neurotypical divergence. I get a little squeamish with some of the representations and approaches towards “crazy” in the episode).

(CW 2: Talking about John Winchester’s A+ Parenting, so mild suppositions about the upbringing Dean had, with mentions of neglect).

This week’s task of The Great Meta Scavenger Hunt was to tie together two randomly selected aspects of the show. When I got past tons of con pages and Supernatural books, I was left with two things I am happy to talk to you about:

The grenade launcher

Originally posted by smartiespn


Dr. Fuller (from 05x11, “Sam, Interrupted”)

Originally posted by sam-winchester-admiration-league

More specifically, Dr. Fuller and the grenade launcher are both devices by which we engage with Dean’s sharply-honed sense of emotional asceticism.

Keep reading

anjura  asked:

Hey You wouldn't happen to have à rec list for stargate fanfic, John and Rodney are amazing

Hello friend! I do happen to have some favourite McShep fics I would love to share with you~ These are all taken from my Archive Of Our Own bookmarks so all of them are hosted on AO3. All the fics I read are SFW and very fluffy though so you have been warned.

Here are some shorter ones (under 4,000 words):

Big Bang by Toft (T)

  • First kisses, and the big bang.

The First Cut (Still Bleeds)bytigerlady (shetiger) (T)

  • Rodney never shows up for that beer. (Takes place after Quarantine.)

Ritual Wants by chellefic (G)

  • Can you want something without knowing you want it?

leaving all my yesterdays by Medie (G)

  • They’re chasing after something for which the term monster is applicable and they’re packing co-ordinates and gasoline. She is definitely going to get them killed.

Dichotomy by toomuchplor (T)

  • Episode coda for Season Four’s “Trio”, and pretty much AU from there. Humor, silliness, all the usual warnings for my fic apply.

Meteor Shower by velocitygrass (T)

  • When a meteor shower threatens Earth, a chance meeting in a supermarket aisle causes two men who don’t know each other to spend their potentially last hour on Earth together.

Do not hide, see the view. by that_which (which) (G)

  • When he’s faced with his feelings, John can be kind of an asshole.

Transporter by rentgirl2 (T)

  • Rodney wonders if he’s always meant to be alone and John comes clean.

Middle sized fics (4,000-15,000):

But I’m a Lieutenant Colonel by Indybaggins (T)

  • “Wait- let me get this right. You,” John points, “were never gay, and I was never gay, so you convinced all of Atlantis that I was secretly gay, got them to make me gay so you could grow gay for me?”

    “Yes,” Rodney nods, “it’s sort of romantic, isn’t it?”

Memories Are Made of This by analineblue (T)

  • John and Rodney are stranded on a hostile planet - confessions happen.
Blue Skies and Ferris Wheels by analineblue (T)
  • John has a bad habit of not realizing what he wants until someone else gets it.
Present, Imperfect by Sorrel (T)
  • “Halfway into a standard recon mission, John walked into a bunker, following a faint power signal. Eighteen hours later, pissed as hell at his team for leaving him behind, he finally managed to finesse the lock and walked out- right into the middle of one hell of a fight.”
One-Way Ticket by Speranza (T)
  • “Is this expedition, like, a one-way ticket for inconvenient gay people?”
Blue Skies by aadarshinah (T)
  • In which Rodney never goes to Russia, John crashes a helicopter, and the boys are generally oblivious. (A Coffee Shop AU)
A Piano in the House by Goddess47 (T)
  • Crippled by arthritis, Rodney had resigned himself to living what was left of his life alone and without the music he loved. Until a man named John came looking for piano lessons.
Mob Mentality by czarina_kathryn (T)
  • Mob mentality is a fundamental part of civilization and John knew that was a fact. Then he met Dr. Rodney McKay.
Tiny Pieces of Fear by gottalovev (T)
  • The Team has to prove that they are suitable potential allies (it must be Tuesday).
Out of the Blue by Leah (Taste_is_Sweet) (T)
  • “We’re friends, and I missed you. Why can’t I hold your hand?”
Acts of Enormity by Leah (Taste_is_Sweet) (T)
  • Rodney dropped to his knees as soon as he was inside the shelter again. God, he just wanted to curl up into a little ball in the corner and quietly freak out. He was a scientist, not an action hero. John should be the one shooting demon cats and worrying about how the hell they were ever going to get out of this. Not the other way around.
Up One Day And Down Another by Chandri (G)
  • Atlantis has been stranded on Earth for nearly two years, and John has been alone for even longer.
Freefall by Taste_is_Sweet (T)
  • It was just mud, after all. And after the opportunistic parasite that nearly killed Rodney, Carson was very, very careful about making sure no one was sick before letting them go on missions. So everyone on Team Sheppard was healthy. And it was just mud. Just like Ronon said when Teyla was grimacing about her hair: a little mud never killed anyone.
Loop the Loop by alsaurusrex (T)
  • “Rodney’s broken heart brought out about a hundred different emotions in John, but the most powerful reaction seemed to be the need to feed his friend the most delicious, fattening, cholesterol nightmare of a cheeseburger that he had ever tasted.”

    One man’s quest to comfort a friend. And maybe himself, just a little.

    (AKA the one where John takes Rodney out on a million dates without realizing it.)
Do the Math by pir8fancier (T)
  • John is a clueless mofo, yet again.
Point Of No Return by Selenic (T)
  • Something wasn’t right. Rodney felt it in his gut.
Perchance to Dream by brinnanza (G)
  • Zelenka shrugged, slotting a crystal into the tray. “Is not my place,” he said. He worked silently for a moment, then continued, “But I hope you will tell him. He deserves to know.”

    That took Sheppard aback. “What, that we got drunk together and you—” He stopped and gestured into the dark, unable to articulate it. “Nothing happened!”

And large fics - something to REALLY sit down to (15,000+ but you won’t find any over 47,000):

Rewind, Reboot, Restore by Rheanna (G)

  • Liking Rodney McKay was very similar to how Douglas Adams had described flying: the trick was to throw yourself at him and miss.

Where Eagles Dare… We Will Be Playing Poker a Hundred Miles in the Opposite Direction by dvs (T)

  • SG-1 are assigned to Pegasus just as Team Sheppard arrives back injured, with the exception of Teyla who temporarily joins Team Lorne. Petty jealousy, unrequited lust and general misunderstandings ensue.

Cloud Nine by Cesare (T)

  • “Well, look who thinks he’s the sexiest person at The Weather Station,” said Rodney.

Chance of a lifetime by ca_pierson (G)

  • Being sent to recruit someone for the Atlantis expedition wasn’t Rodney’s idea of a good time.

Knowing by velocitygrass (T)

  • As the members of the Atlantis expedition wait for the order to return, Rodney struggles with his relationship with Jennifer and his own expectations. Spending much time with John does nothing to clarify his feelings, but in the end he still finds the answers to his questions.

Taking the B Train by LdyAnne (T)

  • The first time John Sheppard saw Rodney McKay he thought he was hallucinating.

A Bug In Your Ear by sgamadison (M) [not actually sure if this one’s SFW]

  • It’s his worst nightmare. John’s about to watch Rodney die trying to rescue him—and he’s powerless to do anything to stop it.

And this one gets special attention because it is my favourite fic of ALL time:

New Shores by velocitygrass (T)

  • When John Sheppard and Rodney McKay meet, they both want to leave their old lives behind and start over. John is determined not to enter another relationship. Rodney has to finish his latest book. They agree to share a house for practical reasons, but as their house turns into a home, they have to realize that their relationship is turning into much more than that of roommates.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this fic. It is a must read. I have never enjoyed an AU more in my life, and who would have thought author/chef? But it is great, if you read none of these pLEase read this one, I promise you will not be disappointed.

So theses are all of my favourite McShep fics! This list is a lot longer than I thought it would be and it is ever-expanding. If you want a constantly updating list you can follow this link which is just my AO3 bookmarks for McShep. I hope this is what you were looking for and happy reading!

11.19 - queer parallels

So 11.19 was, for many, reminiscent of episodes of older TV shows, usually sci-fi or fantasy or gothic, where the ‘issue’ of the main text has parallels to a deliberate queer subtext. And many have been praising 11.19 for having actual queer character in the main text as well as the subtext (and I totally agree, this is awesome).

But I wanted to talk about some of the parallels.

I know many have been addressed already. Such as the lady who denied her husband was taken by the chitters, and made up ‘mundane’ excuses for why he left. The old sheriff who cut his daughter out of his life after she was taken by the chitters.

But I wonder about the two girls who’s story originally brought the case to Sam and Dean’s attention. Libby and Cori, I think their names were. I found an interesting queer parallel in them, mostly in the way that everyone treats Cori (the survivor). Because the others - the woman who lost her husband, the sheriff who lost his daughter - are meant to be perceived as ‘normal’ (or straight) who lost their loved ones to the ‘weird’ (or queer) but they are not weird / queer themselves. The two girls, however, both experienced the creature (just like Jesse and Matty), and Libby didn’t make it (just like Matty). This leaves Cori in a similar situation to Jesse where no one believes her. Where Jesse is ignored because of his young age, or possibly his homosexuality; Cori is ignored because she was ‘the weed girl.’ The weed makes her unreliable. The weed makes her friend unreliable and almost unworthy of proper concern.

When do we actually hear Cori’s name? Not until Dean actually talks to her in the interview room. Until then everyone refers to her as 'the friend’ or 'the witness’ or just something along the lines of 'weed girl’. This to me was doing a few things. One - bringing up the weed makes her a stereotype and reminds everyone that she’s not reliable in their eyes. Two - calling her not by her name seems to dehumanise her. Three - calling her 'the friend’ over and over felt similar to when folks are uncomfortable with a queer couple and refer to them as 'friends’. I’m not here to argue whether Libby and Cori were meant to be a lesbian couple. I think if they were then they would have come out and said it, considering the rest of the episode. But they were mean to be two friends who cared for each other, then came into contact with the chitters and things went bad, but then no one would help them or take them seriously because of their lifestyle - in this case, weed. And we even get Sam later linking weed with 'experimenting in collage’ and other excuses like 'it was probably oregano’ as in it didn’t count.

I just felt like Libby and Cori and their weed were meant to contribute to the subtext here as well.

Submitted by Anonimae.

Thank you for the submission!

I’m just going to add my own thoughts to yours (I have a lot of fledglings for ideas, but I’m still very much pressed for time, so they may have to wait until the end of the season, but here goes).

Yes, I definitely thought the girls were both important symbols and narrative parallels. Both Jesse and Cory were dressed in red plaid and both Cesar and Libby were in a light shirt, Libby even having a maroon vest that resembled in color the hoodie Castiel wore during the ninth season. Libby, possessed by evil, and Cesar were narrative mirrors for Castiel – but it’s interesting that this figure in red plaid keeps accompanying him. We saw it recently in Safe House, we’ve seen it earlier in the season, and we saw it in the very scene of the very first episode of Carver’s narrative arc.

The thing that it is waiting for Dean Winchester at the end of the line is a pair of people – one in a white shirt with dark hair, and the other dressed in red plaid.

Cesar has a white t-shirt, and this has everything to do with symbolism because having a white t-shirt on a hunt, in a forest, is never not the wrong choice. And it’s not humanly possible for his t-shirt to remain as white as it is at the end of the episode with dirt and guts flying around. So again we have the character in red plaid and the character in a white shirt paired off as foils for Dean.

Again Dean meets them deep in the forest. Again one of them has dark hair and the other is in red plaid. But in Jesse and Cesar, their characters bleed into one another. Cesar, the Castiel mirror, is Mexican (so we may assume that he speaks Spanish) and laid back whereas Jesse (a rendering of the Hebrew Ishay) is the one with a stick up his butt and who lost an older brother to the darkness. They contain aspects of the other.

However you interpret the shirts, you can’t deny that they keep following him.

So, the girls were another layer of the same symbolism in the episode. It’s interesting that both of their names recall the heart: Cory (Latin) and Libby (Hebrew) – especially regarding the fact that we see Jesse stab the monster’s heart multiple times. The heart is key.

Cory and Libby’s scene also very much parallels Lucifer and Dean’s encounter the week before, establishing Libby and Cesar as the Castiel mirrors.

But I also wondered whether we were meant to understand that the girls were also a romantic couple in the episode. We learn of them through the town’s sheriff, according to whom they have been smoking weed in the forest. Friends do that, certainly. But they seemed very close, Cory’s mourning very fresh, and I don’t think we were given any indication that they weren’t a romantic couple. And in this regard, it’s very interesting, like you pointed out, how Dean uses Cory’s name.

Dean calls her Ganja-girl to others, giving nick-names his way of protecting himself from making attachments to people that they so frequently meet. The nick-names create a distance between the object and the user. But there was a lot in Ganja-girl for Dean to like and to relate to, and they seem to have formed some kind of connection. You can see this in the way Dean answers the phone when she calls with “Cory, calm down!” Dean uses her first name.

As “Agent Lewis,” he ought to have called her Ms. So-and-so, which is the professional address, but instead he addressed her like a friend. This is important. It means that Dean very much connected to her, to the point that she called him instead of the police, the sympathetic local sheriff, when she needed help. And we can ask whether it was just the weed (and penises) over which they connected, or whether it was something more than that.

Make note of the fact that Dean’s extremely campy “Sinner. Rebel!” scene followed immediately after his interview with Cory. The mood he was in was a result of his interview with her. I wonder whether he learned that Libby was Cory’s girlfriend and simply omitted this fact from Sam as we’ve seen him omit people’s orientations in the past, not outing them to his brother. He saw Cory as a friend, of this much we can be sure via his address. But I wonder whether he also saw her as family. And I wonder whether Cory told him in so many words, or whether he just knew.

The scene in the forest wasn’t just reminiscent of the scene at 100-Mile Wilderness at the beginning of the arc, there were definite shades of Wendigo in it (as pointed out by @mittensmorgul). I’ve been of the opinion for a while that the narrative arc is running back toward the beginning, having been inverted from the beginning of season eight, and that we are closing in on the beginning. Wendigo is the second episode, was the beginning of Dean’s own narrative arc on the show where the Pilot was focused on Sam’s journey, which indicates that we are close to the climax.

The Wendigo creature (“an evil spirit”), like the Cicada spirits, killed in a cycle – in its case, a 23-year cycle where the Cicadas had a 27-year cycle. An the Wendigo needed to be burned, like they burned the Cicada nest. These are not co-incidences but intentional parallels.

And I wondered, at the time, about this situation of three guys and two tents, when the tents weren’t that small at all. Three guys, three tents or three guys, one tent would make sense. One guy giving two other guys privacy (and do make note of where Tommy looks when he says “We”) makes you think. And one of Tommy’s friends that was killed by the Wendigo was called Gary – a possible inspiration for Cory’s name. In any case, I wondered about Gary and Brad at the time, and again we learn nothing to suggest that they weren’t a couple, just like with Cory and Libby.

But The Chitters is an inverted parallel to Wendigo, and you can see this especially well at the end.

At the end of Wendigo, Dean makes light of the emotional moment because he’s protecting himself. He gives Haley a saucy look to which she responds “Must you cheapen the moment?” Dean is vulnerable and keeping his distance. At the end of The Chitters they likewise have a heavy, emotional moment with the guest stars. Dean is in pain. He doesn’t cheapen the moment, he doesn’t make light of it to escape the emotional toll, he feels the feels. And by the end, he looks to be almost in tears, hiding his face from the others. Dean stabbed himself in the heart.

And I wondered whether this was actually the scene Jensen Ackles was talking about, where he interpreted “Dean gruffly” with Dean in tears (also, they had like 3-4 episodes yet to film in the season when he made the comment, so timing fits). Because we don’t see him cry, but we see him want to cry. We see him very close to tears.

So I wonder whether this was it. Dean not cheapening the moment but allowing it to stab him right in the feels. That’s how much meeting these two men meant to him.

Recycling the story back to the beginning, viewing these scenes in contrast to each other, displays the journey – it shows how much they have grown over the years.


11x19 “The Chitters”
“Gran said that if you got the Chitters, you’d get so revved up with lust, your eyes would shine like emeralds.”

There are a lot of thoughts floating around my head regarding the Chitters and their M.O. that is talked about in this moment that - combined with a few other callbacks and possible bits of foreshadowing - make me very worried and uncomfortable when thinking about in relation to the myth arc, but I’ll save those thoughts for much later today. For now I’m leaving the lust/sex aspect to these creatures and this scene completely out of the equation.

What stood out to me about this moment was just one of a few shoutouts to “The Wizard of Oz”. Right around the time we got the very first promo for this episode I felt immediately reminded of 9x04 “Slumber Party” in which Sam and Dean both get possessed by the Wicked Witch and sport bright green eyes.

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You have a power, Cardinal Borgia - a strength, a destiny that even you don’t recognise .. for good or for ill, I have no doubt it will be used, and the whole of Italy will be changed by it.


In Brazil, we all watch the World Cup

By James Young

It is a Thursday night in a bar on Avenida Amazonas in downtown Belo Horizonte, the day after Atlético Mineiro have beaten Independiente Santa Fé in the Copa Libertadores. 

“What about that pass from Guilherme to set up Jô’s goal?” I say to Thiago.

“Pure class. And Berola’s bicycle kick at the end!” says Thiago. 

“Magic,” I say. 

We both turn to Rafael, who is watching the girls go by.

“You’re very quiet,” I say to Rafael. 

“I don’t like football,” he says. 

“Not at all?”

“Not at all. In fact, I hate it.”

“Can’t be much fun, hating football in Brazil.”

“It’s not. It’s all anyone ever talks about.”

I turn to Thiago and get back to talking about football.

But Rafael is not alone. Although Brazilian history and football are inextricably intertwined, the idea of Brazil as “o país do futebol" does not always stand up to serious scrutiny. The average crowd in Serie A last year was just under 15,000, lower than MLS and only slightly higher than (gulp) the Australian A-League. Although clubs such as Flamengo and Corinthians point to market research surveys and boast of their 25 million or more fans, only a tiny fraction of those “supporters” have the means or the motivation to commit to regularly attending their team’s games. 

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you can have whatever you like [smut/threesome, ashton irwin/ofc/michael clifford]

[sequel to daddy’s little princess but can be read without reading the first fic]

title: you can have whatever you like
summary: //”Oh”, that’s all I can manage for now. My mind is swimming around the idea of Michael and Ashton. Ashton and Michael. Does Ashton want me to teach him how to suck cock? With Michael? Is he seriously suggesting what I think he is?//

warnings: sexual content (obviously), threesome

rating: nc17/mature/k18
pairing: ashton irwin/ofc, ashton irwin/ofc/michael clifford
word count: 13683 (according to open office)

a/n: ehm. i have nothing to say. i have a thing for threesomes. i hope you all like it! english is not my native, so keep that in mind :) (((updated))) also posted this on AO3 aaaaand i fixed loads of mistakes. feedback is appreciated!

I’ve had an early morning flight to London where the boys are currently staying to record their upcoming single. I’m lying on their sitting room leather couch and I’m so tired but Michael is sitting on my stomach, squashing my innards and being an annoying little shit. He’s picking on my ”My Little Pony” -shirt because apparently, Ashton and I are a couple of weirdos and he thinks it’s a miracle that we, the freaks of nature, somehow managed to find each other in the wild world.

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Dream Guy - Part 2

Summary: Reader x Sam. Sam tries to become like the guy of your dreams after reading the book that he’d borrowed from you, but nothing goes the way he planned it to.

Triggers: None

Word Count: 2558

Y/N = Your name, Y/H/C = Your hair colour, Y/E/C= Your eye colour

Part 1  Part 3


Sam was acting weird, or weirder than usual as Dean put it. It was like he’d gotten a complete personality makeover. Like he just woke up deciding that the way he had been acting wasn’t right. Thingswere weird, but not weird enough for Dean or you to start thinking that Sam wasn’t, well, Sam. 

Though, you did spike his morning coffee with holy water one morning, so at least you knew he wasn’t possessed. But you couldn’t help feeling that demonic possession would be easier, you knew how to handle those.

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