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Too Soon - Jeff Atkins Imagine

Jeff Atkins x reader

Request: Hi i was wondering if i could request 13 reasons why imagine where the reader and Jeff have been dating for a couple months or an year…maybe have smut like they made love and then where Jeff passes away and maybe have the reader visit the grave with clay and tony to tell Jeff..that he was a dad.

WARNINGS: Fluff, smut, small swearing

“Atkins!” I scream when I see my boyfriend in the hallway. I jump in his arms wrap my legs around his torso and kiss him as if I didn’t see him in months when in reality is was literally two periods ago. I’m cheesy like that. We’ve been dating for over a year now, but everyday feels like we started dating yesterday. He never seizes to amaze me. He surprises me with flowers and I still get anxious and excited like a little girl when we go out on dates. He still does things like climb through my window even though my parents basically forced a key on him. He even does things like come over at 2am when I joke about being scared. He’s just the best boyfriend in the world.

“Hey baby” he laughs as he kisses me back. “You ready to go”

“Yes, it’s Friday and I’ve never been happier” I slide my hand in his as we walk out the school building earning a ‘bye’ or ‘what up’ from people.

As we walked to my house, Jeff kept telling me corny jokes and pick-up lines he found online last night trying to make me laugh.

“Babe, knock knock?”

“Not another one J.”

“Baaabe knock knock, come on last one I promise.”

“You said that three jokes ago” I whine.

“Oh. Knock knock?”

“Who’s there?” I sigh.

“A broken pencil” he smiles.

“A broken pencil who” I sigh, already knowing the joke.

“Never mind it’s poin-”

“Pointless” I say as I laugh dramatically. He looks at me seriously for interrupting his corny joke. 

“Sorry baby, love you!” I try to kiss him the rest of the way home as he pretends to be mad at me.  

As we walk in, he stills pretend to be mad when he stomps into my room and close the door. He closes me out my room. My room.

“Babe really” I laugh.

“Do a knock knock joke then you can come in.”



“Noo babe”

“Well then I’m going to go take a nap”

“No!” I roll my eyes as if he can see it. “Fine babe…knock knock”

“Who’s there” he cooed.

“Al.” I smirk.

“Al who?” 

“Al strip for you if you open this door” I smirk biting my lip. As soon as I said that, the door swung open and I’m met with Jeff’s lips as he pulls me inside. He shuts the door and pushes me up against it. 

“No need to do that” he whispers in my ear. He starts kissing and sucking on my neck and pulls up the dress I’m wearing. He slides his hands under my underwear to my butt and pulls me to him.

“J-Jeff” I moan. He looks at me and bit his lip as he throws the dress off, leaving me in just my bra and panties. He scans my body as I turn my head, feeling nervous all of a sudden. He moves my head to face him and I see such admiration in his eyes.

“You’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” When he said that I wanted nothing more than to feel him on me. I throw my arms around his neck and hungrily kiss him. He grabs my legs and I jump on him as he moves us to the bed. He hovers over me as he deepens the kiss. He puts his hand behind my neck to pull me closer to him. He rubs my thigh up and down as he slowly peppers kisses all over my neck and chest. He’s painfully teasing and I can’t take it.

“Jeff” I whisper.

“Yes y/n?”

“I need you” he looks at me and simply smiles.

He continues to kiss my neck as he unclasp my bra. He starts sucking my breast and massaging the other as I run my hands through his hair. He does the same to the other and I’m a moaning mess.

“Jeff please” I moan.

“We’re almost there baby” he whispers.

He kisses down my stomach and thigh slowly, never breaking his stare from me. I whine again as he comes back and goes back to sweetly kissing me. I groan from the friction of my almost bare core against his jeans and wiggle for him to get the idea. He does and pulls off his jeans and I hastily pull off his shirt.

“Someone is ready” he giggles. I roll my eyes and roughly palm his member through his boxers making him grunt.

“Someone is hard” I mimic smirking. He tries to keep his groans in until I full on grab him and he does a full moan. Now he’s the frantic one as he rips my underwear off of me. Literally.

“Jeff!” I scream.

“Sorry baby, I’ll get you another one” he smirks. He slides his hands all over my body, making me shiver.

“You like that?” he asks. I nod as he slips a finger in me and goes back to kissing. I  whimper from his touch and go for his underwear. I push them down and his member springs out. He kicks them off and slides two fingers in this time. I moan into his mouth as he goes at a fast pace. I let out more moans as I start to get close.

“Jeff baby, I’m abou-” when I said that, Jeff pulled his fingers away and I frown. 

“I want to feel you cum, not with my fingers” he smirks.

He grabs a condom out his wallet from his pocket and slide it on. He gives me a look for confirmation and I nod, just wanting to feel him already. He pushes his length into me. At first it hurt, but it always does when we have sex because of his huge size. The longer he’s in me, the more I get used to it. He pushes in slowly and draws out a little. I start to moan as I connect my lips with his. As he picks up his pace, I dig my nails into his back. He hooks my legs over his shoulder and I scream a little.

“Je-OH My fuck!” he’s directly hitting my g-spot and I can’t even think. I moan louder as I grab the pillow under my head, arching my back. 

“Fuck princess! you feel good” he moans. 

“H-harder J-Jeff!” He goes harder and I start almost full on screaming. As we both are climaxing, Jeff pulls out and puts me on all fours. He pushes back in and grabs my breast from behind. I lean back as he kisses my neck while pounding into me. He moans into my ear as I hold the back of his neck. I can’t control my moans and screams and neither can he. They come out louder as he hits the right spot over and over again. As we get closer, I fall onto my hands and Jeff holds my waist. He roughly rubs me with his fingers as I scream to let go of my release.

“J-JEFF!” I scream.

He cums shortly after I do and collapse next to me. We lay there in a comfortable silence while I rest my head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around me. Both still out of breath, he looks over to me.

“Knock knock?”

“Who’s there” I laugh. 

“I love”

“I love who?” I say, letting him finish it this time for his sake.

“I love you” He smiles as he kisses me.

“My corny boyfriend” I laugh.

*Tomorrow Night*

“You guys have been inseparable all night my gosh” Jessica drunkenly laughs. Me and Jeff look at each other and chuckle, knowing exactly why. We have been at Jessica’s party for a while now and have been sitting on the couch with Jessica, Bryce, and Zach.

“Leave them alone babe, that’s how we are” Justin laughs.

“Oh, you get me flowers?” when Justin doesn’t answer, all of us start cracking up. 

“Well I’m going to get a beer, you guys want one?” Zach asks as he gets up. 

“Nah no thanks man, my girl will kill me cause I’m the driver tonight” I smile when he said that, happy that he cares about his well being. We continue talking to our group of friends and have a pretty good time.

“Where is Clay and Hannah” I whisper in his ear.

“Somewhere around here, probably upstairs, I did my meddling for the night and got them together.”

“Aw how noble of you” I giggle, pinching his cheeks. “Thank you ma’am”.

“See! look at them, they are perfect” Jessica playfully whines.

“Shut up!” Justin say as he grabs her face and start full on making out. Everyone starts ewing and shooing them off the couch.

“Get a room!”

“Jess, your room is upstairs!”

“Get it Foley!”

Justin flips us all off, never breaking their kiss and we all laugh. Monty taps Jeff on the shoulder and screams over the loud music.

“Yo bro you still doing the beer run!?”

Jeff got up and nodded his head, “Yeah shit I almost forgot”

I got up with him, frowning and grab his arm before he could go anywhere, “Babe do you have to go? I’m pretty sure there is enough beer, just not enough for every single person to get ass faced drunk.”

He kissed my forehead and smiled, “I’ll be right back babe I promise”. I pick up my bag and turn towards him, “Okay then I’m coming with you”.

“Baby, you have to watch out for Clay and Hannah remember, I’ll be back in 15 minutes then we can leave right after.”

I sigh still not liking this. I know he didn’t drink anything, but I’m still nervous for him to be out this late. What if someone else out there is drunk driving? I tell myself its fine and nod my head.

“Okay fine, just be careful J.”

“I will baby, I love you.”

“I love you too.” he gives me a peck on the lips and I hold onto his hand and let it slide out once he got to far to reach it. I watch him walk out the door and sit back down onto the couch, waiting for his return.

*4 Weeks Later*

Life is unfair. Life is so unfair. Why him? Why Jeff? Why my boyfriend. Such an amazing boyfriend. Is the best. Was the best. I stare down at his tombstone and couldn’t stop my tears from falling. So many tears. I found myself screaming at night. If I wasn’t screaming I was just silent. Completely silent. I mean was there for me to say? He’s gone. Jeff Atkins is gone. Never to hold me again, never to make me feel better, never to get me the flowers, never to throw rocks outside my window. I bend down and touch his stone. 

“I-I m-miss you so much” my voice cracks. “Why d-did you h-have to leave m-me?” I start crying harder. This is my first time being at his grave, due to the fear of seeing him. The fear of seeing reality of this situation. 

“Y-you would b-be so happy right now” I hiccup as I touch my stomach. I felt the little bump and smile through my tears.

“Y-you would have told him knock knock jokes” I laugh to myself, “or her”.

“Y-you would have t-taught baseball terms” I smile.

“You would h-have been the perfect dad” I cried looking down at him, “the best”.

I put the roses he always got me onto his grave and wiped my tears, even though they kept coming down. I kissed my finger and touched them against his stone that read 

Jeff Atkins

World’s greatest son 

world’s best companion

Even a better dad

Gone but never forgotten.

“I love you Jeff”I got up and continued crying as both Tony and Clay stood there respectfully and silent, waiting for me to finish. I smile lazily at them and hooked my arm into both of theirs as we walked out of the graveyard. I look back one more time and thought to myself ‘the love of my life might be gone, but he will forever live on in my heart’

A/N - Omgg!! I cried making this ending. It was so sad to me. I hope you guys liked it and love you guys for all your support. Your imagines are not forgotten.


I’m sorry I can’t give you more than a mere fanart TwT tbh im pretty proud of how Sora looks, but Riku……. eh poor boy.

ANYWAYS @baegerbombtastic thank you so much for being a great and supportive cutie, you’re incredible and i’m always at awe at the fact that you chose to be my friend <3 I hope this year is full of good news and warm hugs for you and that I can accompany you to another year, i love you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

|| Sketched Love ||

[[request prompt: I loved “Our Love Story” And was wondering if you could write something similar with a Peter Parker x reader where they go to school together and the reader is and artist, and she is always drawing sketches of him during class and stuff? Thanks :)]]

time to work on requests ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́) this time I’m all about writing for my main boi, peter parker

tags [permanent + peter parker]: @psychicwitchphilosopher , @pharaohkiller , @moonlight53, , @nekonerdxox , @pepcvina , @kylielo22 , @wavy-ley , @lghockey , @buckysendoftheline , @1022bridgetp , @potterjamesharry

warnings: none, just pure fluff that comes with experiencing love for the first time ♡

**please don’t repost/plagiarize this story. Reblogs are fine**


Keep reading

Ok but consider this. Instead of the friends pretending to be lovers trope: enemies having to pretend to be friends. 

100% platonic shenanigans of ‘ughhh I hate being stuck with them. They’re so annoying, how have I not snapped at them yet.’

‘Their humor is so dumb oh my go-no I didn’t laugh that was a cough! Shut up!’

‘Wow, that was p cool of them- wait. No no no I don’t think they’re nice, I do not. They’re awful, they’re the worst, I hate them with every fiber of my being- but look at them fussing over that kitten that is pretty cute-no, no no, bad thoughts, bad thoughts.’

Snippets - Yami_noTenshi - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Dedicated to @franeridart
The first scene is inspired from her comic over here so go check it out!

Bakugou Katsuki had spent a good part of his life pushing people away. Yet somehow, once he got into UA, an entire bunch of loud, bubbly teenagers managed to worm their way into his heart. And outside of their hero-ing activities, they have an entire life going on; with worries, problems, dates, nightmares, families, all the good and the bad is a part of their daily lives, and they go through it together, because despite everything, they’re still only teenagers.


Snippets of the Bakusquad’s daily life, bonding, learning and growing together, because through their UA experiences, they lean onto each other for support.

Chapter 1

“Ah, Katsuki!”

Mitsuki Bakugou had never wanted to be an overprotective parent. She had always believed that it was good to let your child learn through experience. Making mistakes was as important as learning to come back from them, that was what she believed, so she had always been more easy-going with her child than most parents she knew.

So she had thought, and for the most part, it had worked well enough. Her child had grown up to be strong and confident.

She had thought that would be good for him. Unfortunately, she had realized too late that those traits had come packaged with a type of single-handed independence and self-assuredness, which turned out to be flaws more than they were strengths.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How do you stay motivated to draw? Obviously you have people that love your art and support you, and whenever someone supports my art it always keeps me super up and ready to go. However I look at amazing artists artwork and I always feel drained... I love to draw but it's hard whenever you feel like you will never be good enough ya know? And when no one knows about your art so no one really cares to help because friends usually just tell you it's great out of fear... how do you stay motivated?

Aw man this is a pretty hard question to answer bc I feel the same a lot ;u; losing motivation sucks, trying to get it back is a struggle for a lot of artists I know so you’re not alone, don’t worry! I find having a place where I save inspirational work that I can look at occasionally helps me, and maybe sparks some ideas. 

It took me a long time to see amazing work as a source of inspiration instead of a source of envy, so that may get better with time ;o; just remember that these people have probably had a lot more experience, and you can get to any level as long as you have dedication to it, so it’s ok! Look at other people’s work and ideas as cool things to help drive you forward and inspire you to do your own cool things. There are so many good artists in the world, and you’ll totally be among them if you keep going. 

Sarcastic Flowers (Feat. KC)

Originally posted by lufreya

So I decided to write about my fave in Kingsglaive, so in honor of @luvleekaotix-imagines ( @thatonedaydream) I wrote this drabble that probably TOTALLY got Nyx’s characterization wrong, but i saw this prompt and i was like YES. So yeah the names Kai, and I think im gonna start writing for ffxv when i have the chance so send in requests!

You first met Nyx when he ran into your flower shop in Insomnia, during one of the few dull hours in the shop. He had a shit eating grin plastered on his face, and his eyes were gleaming with excitement. He sauntered towards the front desk where you stood in surprise, currently asking yourself how far you would get if you ran out the back door towards your apartment. 

He slapped a wad of cash on the counter, and asked “How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?” His enthusiasm slowly turned into embarrassment, noticing how pretty you were. You burst out into giggles, and he smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, that was a weird request-”

“No!” You cried out, between giggles “It’s okay! That just made my day a whole lot better! But anyway,” you stepped out from behind the counter and walked towards the array of flowers, “You’d need a bouquet of geraniums, which stand for stupidity, foxglove for insincerity, meadowsweet uselessness, yellow carnations literally mean ‘you have disappointed me’, and orange lilies for hatred.” Picking out each flower carefully and wrapping it with cute ribbon that complimented the colors, you turned around proudly and handed it to him.

“I have to ask though, who is it for? Because if it’s for a girl, I’m going to feel super awful about this.” You stated, ringing up the order in the register. He laughed and gave you a dorky smile.

“Naw, I’m not that cruel, It’s a white elephant gift for my buddy Libertus… Do I get a question now?” Nyx asked mischievously. You nodded slowly, and he grinned.

“Can I have your number?”

You laughed, surprised at his bluntness. “That was as smooth as sandpaper man, I don’t even know your name!”

“-It’s Nyx- I’m usually not this desperate, i swear, I just feel like this was super meant to be- You’re like super pretty and amazing and I’d love to-” You interrupted him by handing him a piece of paper with your name and number.

“Here you go, tell me how the White Elephant goes~” Nyx took the paper in awe, with the look of Oh my god that actually worked, said his goodbyes and headed out. As soon as he left, you picked up the phone and called your friend. “Hey KC, you’ll never believe what just happened…”

“ Wait, you actually GAVE your number?!”

I found his jumper part 7 || D.H.

First Part, Second Part, Third Part, Fourth Part,  Fifth Part, Sixth Part

A/N: wow there is a part 7. 

Word Count: 1.8k


“I thought you were smart, Edwards.” Charlotte snarled when I came home after the rain incident.

I wasn’t thinking straight so I didn’t show any reaction. Instead I just walked in and took off my soaked vans. Of course had she heard about Caleb’s wrong accusations.  

My room mate continued with a cold laugh.

“Did you really think Dan would date you?” she asked and acted like it was the funniest thing in the world. ’Yes’ I thought to myself and the thought made my heart race. Dan had basically said it himself only about 10 minutes ago. He would have dated my back in high school. I didn’t know what his opinion on dating me now was. If only Charlotte knew what Dan had confessed to me in the rain she’d probably rip my head off. Instead of telling her I just shrugged my shoulders, seeing no use in fighting with her again now.

“What’s that?” she asked, suspiciously eyeing the sweater I was wearing. I had nearly forgotten that I still had Dan’s jumper on. It was warm against my cold skin. The fabric was soft and it’s smell was to die for.

“It’s nothing.” I answered, trying to sound nonchalant. Her icy blue orbs evilly glared at me.  Of course Dan had to give me his signature sweater. He could have just given me his football jersey with his name on the back, it would have had the same effect.

“Don’t you think it’s a little too big, even for you?” Charlotte snapped.

“I have a thing for oversized sweaters.” I simply stated, before I headed to my room and shut the door behind me.

I had troubles sleeping the next few days. Every time I tried to close my eyes Dan’s image popped into my mind. Has words echoed in my head and my thoughts were racing. I had no idea on what terms Dan and I were. I also had no clue how to continue and I wasn’t sure how to act around him. The fact that I had thrown Dan’s jumper onto a chair right next to my bed didn’t help either. It was the first thing I saw when I woke up in the morning and somehow it made me smile a little bit every time. 

When I walked to my classes accompanied by Hayley on Monday I was yet again the centre of attention. Countless of student’s eyes burned holes into my body. Fingers pointed at me and I heard people laugh behind my back. Caleb’s story spread like wild fire. I was pretty certain that Charlotte and her friends made sure that everybody heard that Rose Edwards slept with Dan Howell and was stupid enough to think that they’d date afterwards. According to his story I also bombarded Dan with texts and wouldn’t stop showing up at his dorm. I sounded like a pathetic little girl and nobody but Dan, me and Hayley knew that none of those things actually happened.

“You don’t have to walk next to me.” I whispered. I felt bad for Hayley. She wasn’t involved in any of this, but had to witness all of it. Everybody stared at her as well and she was now officially known as the best friend of the library loser.

“I want to and I will. If those jerks don’t have anything better to do than gossip about some bullshit than that’s their problem.” Hayley angrily raised her voice at the last bit so the students surrounding us could hear her.

“I hate that stupid Howell ass so much.” she groaned as we had finally reached our class room.

“Mhm yeah” I simply agreed although I wasn’t so sure of that anymore. I hadn’t told Hayley what happened on Friday yet, no wonder why she still hated him that much.

After I attended all of my classes that day I put my laptop and notebook back into my bag and headed out of the huge doors of the castle like university building. The sun was out and there were hundreds of people hanging out on campus. I was starving so I decided to head straight back to my room to cook something easy, like spaghetti. On my way across the campus I passed three very familiar looking guys. Phil and Caleb were smoking next to Dan. They were leaning against a big oak tree and the three of them together was definitely a sight that most of the female students couldn’t ignore that easily. My heart rate sped up as soon as I saw Dan stand there. He looked so good with so little effort. It was the first time since Friday that I saw him. I nervously bit my lip as I quickened my pace. Not really sure if I wanted him to notice me or not I started to walk past him and his friends, looking at my feet.

“Hey Edwards.” I heard somebody say, making me turn around. At first I thought I was experiencing a deja vu, but this time at wasn’t Caleb who shouted my name.

“Are you okay? You seemed pretty upset last Friday.” Phil asked me concerned as soon as I faced him. I saw Dan stiffen next to him and Caleb just grinned smugly.

‘What the hell are you doing Philip?! I was trying to avoid you.’ I internally groaned. How could he be the only one to not know what happened? Why must he also be so nice?

“Aw did I make you cry, sweetheart?” Caleb teased and Phil furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion. He looked between me and Caleb as if he was trying to connect invisible dots between us. I felt my blood boil again as I stared back into Caleb’s hazel eyes.

“I thought Dan and you just had another fight?” Phil questioned me, looking more confused than ever. In the corner of my eyes I saw Dan flinch as his name was mentioned, but then he continued to stare at the grass in front of his feet. He was clearly avoiding my gaze and that kind of hurt. Maybe I did want him to notice me after all.

“Don’t worry Phil, it’s obviously forgotten now.” I said more to Dan than to him.

Dan’s head immediately shot up at the comment I made. A little hint of panic in his eyes gave away that he understood what I was secretly accusing him of. I saw his eyes widen as he realized that he might have screwed up again.

When I walked away from the three of them after muttering a bye, I heard Dan ask Caleb for one of his cigarettes.

Back in my room I realized how worked up I actually was. Oh, yes I hated Caleb with passion now and I was also a little bit mad at Phil for being so naïve and oblivious, but most of all I was yet again disappointed in Dan. To be fair I wanted to ignore him at first as well, but after Phil called me over he could’ve said a simple hello, right? I wasn’t asking for him to punch Caleb in the face for being such an asshole. All I wanted was him to acknowledge me. When I entered my room to change into some comfy clothes I immediately noticed Dan’s jumper on my chair. This time though it didn’t make me smile. Instead I felt anger fill my veins.

10 minutes later I had entered the boys dorm again. I walked up three flights of stairs until I reached Dan and Phil’s room. God, why do I always end up here?

I was way too upset to be nervous. I tried to shove away my feelings as I slowly knocked on the door a few times. Phil was the one to answer it seconds later. He smiled at me like always. I didn’t understand why he was friends with Caleb and Dan. Maybe he was just nice to me and a dick to everybody else?

“Hey, I just wan-” I started but Phil interrupted me by inviting me in.

I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach when I entered the living room of the flat. I had already been here on Friday and being reminded of that made me feel a bit uneasy.

Dan was sitting on the couch and much to my disliking he was talking to Caleb. Both of them stopped in the middle of their conversation when they noticed me.

“Cal and I can give you two a moment alone if you want.” Phil offered, catching the way Dan and I were staring at each other with intensity.

“It’s alright. I just came to give Dan his jumper back.” I simply stated with zero emotion in my voice.

Dan noticed the dark grey fabric that was slung over my left arm . Horror was written all over his face. He gulped hard and one could see that he was trying to find the right words to say. He repeatedly opened and then closed his mouth without saying something.

“Have you finally given up on him, sweetheart?” Caleb snarled with a smirk plastered across his stupid face. He wasn’t even a part of this mess!

“It took you forever to realize that Dan would never-” he teased me. The story was repeating itself. But shortly before Caleb could tell me that Dan would never date a loser like me ,just like his high school friend had a few years ago, Dan changed the story.

Before Caleb could end his sentence Dan suddenly threw a punch directly to his face. Without a warning his fist forcefully collided with Caleb’s sharp cheekbone. The sound of bones crashing against each other filled the air as well as a loud yelp.

“Fuck, dude.” He winced in pain.

 I just stood there, staring at both of them in shock.

Dan’s cheeks were red in anger and his hands were still formed into fists. There was a dangerous sparkle in his eyes.    

After Caleb had regained his composure he blinked at Dan unbelievingly.

“What the hell was that for?!” he shouted in rage, but Dan completely ignored him. He jumped up from his spot on the couch and walked towards me, guilt was visible in his eyes.

“I don’t want my jumper back, Rose. It’s yours and I want you to keep it.”

Ballerina (J.J)

|based on the prompt: Hey! I saw that you needed some prompts, so I would say you could maybe do one where you’re a very talented ballerina and you have a huge show but one of the Omaha boys says they can’t make it, but end up surprising you. Just an idea. Have a good day!

|•1.3k words, sloppy af, REQUESTS ARE OPEN OKAY CHECK OUT MY MASTERLIST (in my description) TO SEE WHO I WRITE•|

I sit backstage in my black outfit on FaceTime with my best friend, Jack Johnson. Today is my first performance with the National Ballet Academy and I’m rather nervous. None of my girl friends could make it because they’re all off at college and university around the country and my best friend suddenly had to bail. I understood though, there’s a big storm coming to LA (weird, right?) and all of the flights out have been cancelled. He had missed his flight because it went out early and the next available one out to New York is in a week!

Jack smiles at me through the camera, holding his phone so I can only see him. “I’m so sorry, Y/N! I know how important today is to you.”

“No, J, it’s fine, really, there will be other performances.” I smile sadly and shrug it off. I didn’t want to tell him that I was the only newcomer without anyone in the audience. “I’ve got the other guys here so.”

“Poor baby girl.” Johnson laughs. “You’re going to get smothered after your performance, you know that, right?”

“Of course I know, I’m expecting Sammy to be the worst, like I feel like he would jump me and be so overly excited that he’s going to start crying, Gilinsky will be Gilinsky, so, pretty average and Nate to just full out tackle me to the wall.” Johnson looks down from the camera and smiles sadly. I can’t help but sigh. I haven’t seen him in over three months due to both of our hectic and busy schedules and he was supposed to fly out to see me and stay with me for the entire weekend. But things happen. Nobody can control the weather, can they? “You’ll be here for the one next week though, right?”

“Of course I will!” He shouts, jumping his phone right into his face. “I wouldn’t miss all of my baby girls dances!”

People have always found it odd how I’m friends with these guys. They all had a reputation in school for smoking weed and causing a few fights here and there, as well as being jocks. And then there was (and still is) me, the innocent, virgin ballerina who never does anything wrong. I got accused of having slept with all four of the boys due to how close we are, but I haven’t.

I’m 18 years old, best friends with a bunch of, dare I say, fuckboys and still a god damn virgin.

Oh, I also work at one of the best critically acclaimed dance academy’s in the world.

“Aw, I miss you, J.”

“I miss you too, baby!” He giggles with a smile. He angles his phone so I can see the chair he’s sitting on and his tired face. “You look really pretty in your costume, Y/N.”

I blush from his compliment, looking down at my pointe shoes “Thank you, Jack.”

“Don’t thank me, you know I think you look pretty all the time.” He gushes and runs a hand through his tousled blonde hair. “Even with the dramatic ass makeup and the over the top outfit you’re currently wearing. I have a damn beautiful girl.”

He didn’t say best friend.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to make me swoon.” I tease, raising my heavily painted eyebrow at Jack which makes him blush.

The dressing room door knocks and in walks Janey, a stagehand who is a few months younger than me. “Y/N you need to come and line up, 20 minutes until opening.”

“I’ll be there in a minute?” Janey nods and sends me a smile as she slips through the gap in the door. I sigh and look down at my phone. There I see Jack with an understanding smile. “I’ll call you as soon as I’m done?”

“Of course babe, you’re going to do great, I just know it.”

“I wish I had my good luck charm here though.” I pout. “I have to go, I love you!”

“Break a leg, baby girl, I love you more. More than you know.” I blow him a quick kiss before ending the call and chucking my phone into my makeup bag.


Nobody was allowed backstage (other than the dancers) after the performance, so Gilinsky, Sammy and Nate had to wait outside for me. They are extremely impatient boys. My phone was blowing up with texts and tweets from the 3 of them and I already had a mass of missed calls and voice mails! I came off stage just 10 minutes ago!

I kept them waiting for another 10 minutes or so, in order to congratulate my fellow dancers and say goodbye to my choreographer and new friends. When I got back outside, I was tackled to the ground by the boys. I may have a large gash on my ass now.

“You did so good up there!” Sammy exclaims and grabs a hold of my cheek, squishing my cheeks together in excitement.

“I’ve never seen you look so damn professional and beautifully elegant!” Gilinsky mumbles, smiling at me. “You looked fucking stunning, Y/N.”

“I don’t know what else to add on to what they said but you took my breath away, Y/N.” Nate smiles and throws his arm around my shoulder.

“Thanks you guys.” I blush. I pull Sams hands away from my cheeks and pull my jacket around my body. “I did good, then?”

Nate scoffs, throwing his head back at the same time and shouting at me. “You did better than good! You were the best up there!”

“That was my first Academy performance, of course I wasn’t the best one up there!” I laugh and shake my end, slapping Skates arm off of my shoulders. “I still have a long way to go.”

“You’re an amazing dancer, though.” Gilinsky chimes. His cheeks were bright red - simply because it’s bloody freezing outside and he didn’t bother to bring a jacket.

“Thanks you guys, I just wish J was here to see it.” And they’re silent. “Where are my flowers then?” I look between them, noticing the same, cheeky smirk on each one of their faces. “What did you do n-” A pair of arms wrap around my waist and a huge bouquet of bright sunflowers appeared in my hands. “-ow…”

“You were amazing.”

“Jack!” I giggle and shout, a huge smile pushing its way onto my face. “You came!”

“Of course I did, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“But you lied to me.” I pout, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling my body away so I could fully see his face.

“Not so much lie, I’d rather say surprise?” He smiles and presses his lips up against my cheek.

“Aw you guys,” Sammy coos from behind us, “I’m totally tweeting that picture I just took.” Gilinsky and Nate both wag their fingers in our direction and look down at Sams phone. “Literally, OTP right there.”

And I’m blushing again. I turn back around and hide my face in my best friends neck. His arms tighten around my body and all I can hear is the teasing giggles from the boys.

“You really were amazing, Y/N. You looked amazingly beautiful up there and I’m so proud of you. You didn’t mess up once and you are so fucking talented! You’ve come so far in the past few months and you literally blew my expectations.”

“What, did you expect me to suck?” I tease, tilting my head slightly. Johnson looks down at me, his blue eyes sparkling in the dark night.

I only just realised how fucking beautiful my best friend is.

“Just a little.” He smiles. His arms rub up and down on my back slowly and slowly comes round to hold onto my hip. “You wanna go out and get some dinner to celebrate your success in not sucking?”


Not all love is romantic, and sometimes that’s the best. Relationships with people that do not want to kiss you or make love are sometimes the most magical.

One of my best friends walks into college every day and a simple daily “hey!” will put a smile on my face, the way she smirks at me when i make an awful joke or how pretty she looks just doing simple things like tying her hair up. Her ray of sunshine on my day makes every day easier, but I’d never tell her. Maybe I should but silent gratitude is often the best gratitude. She’s my daily sunshine and I owe her the world, and she deserves it.

Sometimes, she can’t shine on me like the sun and that’s okay. Then it’s my turn to make her smile, then it’s my journey to turn her mid-day moon mood into that afternoon sunshine that I love so dearly. Gentle harmless compliments that might lighten her mood or something as simple as buying her some chocolate, there’s so much love I have for her. But never romantic, and that means the world to me.

—  Letters to my bestfriend #1
Form (M - Taehyung)

*4 more days until freedom*

-Requests Closed-

Word Count: 1,459 words

“Five, Six, Seven, Eight.”

You and your friends were practicing for an upcoming dance cover and you messed up. Again.


“I’m sorry…”

“What’s up with you today?”

“You don’t mess up unless?”

“Is it Taehyung?”

“Did that idiot forget something important again?”

“He’s not an idiot.”

“Well, everyone can clearly see you’re in love with him except him.”

“I’m just his best friend. You’re not supposed to see your best friend like that..”

“But you want to be more than friends~”

“Shut up.”


“Quit it.”

“But, it is him, right?”

“He hasn’t said anything for a week…”

“But hasn’t this happen before?”

“He’s warned me about it so, I’m not freaking out or surprised. Not this time.”


“He’ll text you soon or something.”

“Yeah, don’t stress about it.”

“Now, from the top and Y/N, don’t mess up this time.”

“No promises.”

The music blared through the speakers of the dock in the corner of the room and you acted out the steps in your head. You’ve watched the original video multiple times and the music should be stuck in your head by this point. Your solo part came up, successfully completing it without messing up and standing in your pose.

“Oh shoot– it’s already 4? I have a date with Hyuk!”



“I need to study too..”

“You’re all ditching me.”

“We can practice on Sunday?”

“Yeah, Sunday’s good, right?”

“I’m going to keep rehearsing.”

“Don’t overwork yourself.”

“Take long breaks.”

“Don’t stay too late.”

“Bye guys.”

“Bye~” You replaced your friend’s phone with your own and played the song from the top. Your eyes carefully watch yourself in the mirror, analyzing every movement of your body.

Your hips swayed too much to the left, your foot turn out awkwardly and your posture was sloppy. These points weighted you down and you tried to fix it with each time you repeated the steps.

You trip over your own feet and fall to your knees. Your breathing was heavy, your body covered in sweat and you saw something moving in the corner behind yoga mats in the room.

“What the hell?” You heard giggling and you rushed over to the mats only to be scooped up in the arms of your stupid best friend.


“Yah! Put me down!” He lifted you up, pressing your sweaty body against him and his hands under your thighs.

“If I do, you’ll hit me.”

“Well who’s the one who went M.I.A?”

“I wanted to surprise you~”

“Hmph.” You looked away from him, trying to pry his arms off you.

“I got you something.”

“I’m listening…”

“Are you friends with me because of my money?”

“No, but it’ll determine whether I’m still mad at you.” He left you down and fished for it in his pocket. You stared in awe at the gorgeous bracelet that he slipped around your wrist.

“Tae, it’s beautiful..”

“You like it?”

“I love it but..”

“No. I’m not telling you.”

“But, was it?”

“I’m not telling you.”


“You should just look pretty wearing it, not thinking about the cost of the bracelet.”

“Wait a minute, how long were you behind the mats?”


“You were watching me, weren’t you?”

“Depends, if I say yes, will you kill me?”

“No, no can you help me with my form? You’re an idol for god’s sake; you must have picked up something from the dance line.”

“I’ll try.”

“Here,” you pulled up a chair for him and made him sit. “Keep your eyes on me.”

You started from the top again, the fact Taehyung was watching made you want to dance better than before and you ended in your pose.

“So, what do you think?”

“We definitely have a problem with your form.” He came behind you, something poking at your butt and you yelp.

“Don’t be shy, Y/N.”

“A-Are you..hard..?”

“This is all because of you.”


“I really like you, Y/N. Now, look what you’ve done to me.” He turned you around, guiding your hand to the bulge in his pants and pushed your back against the mirror.

He leaned in; kissing you gently and his scent flooded your senses. He smelled like summer rain, fresh and airy. His lips were deliciously intoxicating like the first bite into a popsicle. Your body craved more, pulling on his flannel shirt and pressing your bodies together. He pulled away to strip off his top, your eyes watching his chest hungrily and his hands played with the band of your leggings.

“Shit.” He muttered against your jaw, leaving sloppy kisses before pressing his lips against your neck. You moan softly while he sucked feverishly on the flesh of your neck and his hands cup your ass. He pulled your shirt off you hastily, attaching his lips to your collarbone. You hiss as he formed hickeys along the bone before unhooking your bra.

“I always wanted to feel these.” He whispered in your ear while kneading your chest discourteously and your breath hitched. You bit your lip when he began sucking on your hardened nipple, softly gnawing and swirling his tongue around it. Your hands slipped to his jeans, playing with the buckle until it came undone. You pulled his jeans down enough that you could reach for his hard cock and he wiggled his jeans off.

“Eager, aren’t we?”

“Now, look what you’ve done to me.”

“I’ll take responsibility as long as you show me more.” He squeezed your ass, earning a moan from you and he bit his lip while watching you. He kissed you again, his tongue being more forceful. He left no room for resistance, letting you completely submit to him. You pulled away and he turned you over, your hands pressing against the mirror.

“Let me fix your form, kitten.” He arched your back out more; pushing your ass outwards and he gave your ass a smack. You bit your lip and he peeled your leggings off your hips, kissing down your legs until they reached your ankles. He pressed his lips against your panties, giving your clothed pussy a gentle kiss before taking off the annoying fabric. You yearned for him to bury his head between your legs, briskly licking your dripping cunt while his fingers curve into you and stretch you out.

He would never do that.

True to his nature, he teased you to no end. You wiggle your hips, only invoking a slap to your bare ass cheeks and he inspected you with his index finger. He spread your lower lips wide, exposing more pink flesh and poking it with his tongue.


“Yes, kitten?”

“Quit teasing me… I need you..”

“It’s punishment, dancing sexily like that for me. I wanted to tear every piece of clothing off this perfect little body of yours.”

"Your hips are a sin.”


“You were going to perform this, weren’t you? How obscene of you, Y/N. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I-I’m sorry..”

“I can’t forgive you just yet.” You gasped when you felt two fingers push into you and your breath fogged up the mirror. His fingers were ruthless, constantly venturing deep inside you and you felt his tongue poking at your sensitive clit.

“F-Fuck-Tae..” He hummed against you, making you moan his name louder and he added more fingers into you. He began sucking on your clit and your felt the blood in your veins surging.

“You’re close, aren’t you baby?”


“Good.” He withdrew his fingers from you, sucking your juices off and you felt his hard cock rubbing against you.

“Beg for it, Y/N.”

“Please, Tae, fuck me with you huge cock… I need to be filled with your hard cock..!” You gasped at the end, him slowly entering you with his hands holding you in place.

You pressed your hands against the mirror hard as if you were going to break the glass. Taehyung’s thrusts were swift and skillful, angling his hips to push against your G-spot.

“Look in the mirror, kitten, watch how I fuck your wet little pussy.”

“F-Fuck-ah.” You looked into the reflection, watching Taehyung’s expression. He put his energy into pounding you from behind, the beads of sweat his evidence and he bit his lip.

“Shit, baby. You feel so perfect around my cock.”


“Are you going to cum, kitten?”

“Y-Yes..please..” He gripped on your hips tighter, the sound of skin slapping getting louder and you cried out his name.

Your muscles tensed and relaxed as soon as your orgasm hit you, a rush of bliss ran through your body. He thrusted into you through your high until he reached his own climax and let go of your hips as he pulled out of you.

“Is my form better, Tae?”

~Admin Blake

anonymous asked:

I'd like a matchup please ^^ I'm 5'8"/172 cm with brown hair (that's graying prematurely xD) and glasses for astigmatism. I fall on the spectrum as a demiromantic gray-a, and am very shy. I'd much rather listen to others talk than talk myself, and offer advice if asked for it. I sing sometimes, but usually very softly, and I'm pretty loyal to my friends. Thank you :) (OH BTW I LOVE looking through this blog, everything's so well-written, and you seem like a very lovely person <3)

Aw thank you for the kind words, dear! I really appreciate it <3333

(Matchups are currently closed)

Originally posted by incendio

Our personified ray of sunshine is the perfect match for you, anon friend! He absolutely adores you and how shy you are. Though he’s an extrovert himself, he respects your introverted needs. You don’t go out to parties to mingle to have fun, usually your dates including staying inside and snuggling up in a blanket fort you both constructed together. He loves to talk to you because you’re such an attentive listener. You remember everything he tells you and he is very flattered by it. He appreciates your strong loyalty and adores you. He trusts you with his life. 

Ran into another piece of shit on Overwatch tonight to warn you all about.

Husband and I were running comp with a friend, so we got placed with this guy named Sushi and his friend Weiss. We were attacking King’s Row and my husband was playing Tracer, myself Mercy, and the friend was Reinhardt. Sushi was Reaper while his friend was Hanzo. Sixth guy was Roadhog.

Match starts and no one except our Rein was going past the gates, mostly because the other team had a Bastion set up and a Roadhog ripping people into its fire. My husband starts moving to go up top and across to flank behind, however, gets picked off by a Pharah. Sushi starts screaming in voice chat about how awful my husband is and how he needs to switch. My husband immediately looks at this guy’s player profile. He’s level 691 and has his highest MMR at 2900, but was currently 2400. Usually that means that he got carried through placement and sucked the rest of the time… or has no friends.

So any who, my husband states “lolno?” As this guy screeches at him and of course, we end up losing terribly. I say in voice chat “Next time you yell at people in a match, make sure you’re not sucking too because I had to heal you and I know you were pretty awful yourself”. Normally I don’t argue with people but at this point he’s screaming in text at my husband and blaming him for the entire loss.

Big mistake on my part. He leaves voice chat immediately and the chat was as follows.

“Kill yourself you fat fucks.”

“Your fat fucking team blows and needs to die.”

“Fat cunt.”

“Ugly fat bitch.”

“Pig woman lol”

“Fat pig bitch lol”

So yes, if you ever see a player named Sushi whom is level six hundred plus and mains Reaper, tell him the pig bitch says “Hi”.

slowburnotptrash  asked:

lets me start with saying hi and that i love your blog , ok lets go back to business so i finished watching stranger things yesterday it took me 2 days ( i am late ) and i am jancy trash ok now this sound weird but i felt like i don't understand how they feel toward each other ? i think jonathan likes nancy but i don't know how nancy feels toward him maybe she have feelings for him ??? maybe you can help me with that ? sorry to bother you

hi!! aw omg thank you! and yes of course i’ll try my best to help.

okay so like you said, I think it’s pretty obvious that Jonathan has feelings for Nancy. Actually, it kind of looks like Jonathan had a thing for Nancy even before they started talking (I mean Will and Mike have been friends so it’s very possible they’ve known each other since then. and possibly since they’re in the same class in the same small town they went to elementary and middle school together as well. maybe this is wishful thinking but maybe we’ll get a stydia type “been in love with her since the third grade” troupe).

but i do agree. Nancy is a little more tricky to pin down. but from the way she looks back at him, to the hand holding in her bedroom, to the way she let her hand linger on his after bandaging it, there’s obviously something. also the scene she had with mike where they said no more secrets and he asked about Jonathan. now granted, she did say no, but then when she asked mike about eleven, he also said no, and at this point it was incredibly obvious Mike liked eleven. i think this scene was used to imply that both the siblings were lying to each other. Nancy obviously feels some level of attraction.

but this then brings us to the fact that after everything she still went back to Steve. why? well, i think the answer is very simple. Steve seemed to be the safe choice at that point. Steve was the one Nancy planned on. he’s your classic high school jock with good hair who knows exactly what to say to her. but Jonathan? Jonathan has baggage. he’s nothing like what Nancy planned on and he’s rough around the edges and he can see right through her and this person she’s working to be (i.e. the scene in the woods where he tells Nancy what he sees when he looks at her). that’s not safe. and I think possibly after dealing with the demagorgan and all the other weird things happening around them, Nancy thinks that “safe” is the best option for her. but i feel like soon she’ll realize that the connection she has with Jonathan is so much better than just “safe”.

sorry this was super long but i hope i helped!

BTS reaction to you walking down the aisle

Aww, i wish i was the one to marry them :( :(

- Admin RaspberryJam


He was smiling and chatting with his best man, waiting for you to show up. He was all smiles, but inside he was nervous. This was an important moment in your lives and he wanted everything to be perfect. When you started walking down the aisle, he gasped and covered his mouth. His eyes went wide and he was stunned by your beauty. He thought that you two looked like a perfect couple, both so good looking. He smiled and admired your dress, your hairstyle and your makeup, complimenting every inch of you. He knew that he was definitely the luckiest man in the world, to have you by his side.

“ Jagi, we both look stunning, but you are definitely so much prettier than me.”

Originally posted by suga-com


He was feeling a bit uncomfortable, having to wear a suit and from all the people in the room. He wanted a small wedding, but you had quite a family so that was not an option. So unfortunately for him, he had to endure all the formalities a wedding required, which made him a bit upset. But when he heard the song start and you appeared and started walking on the carpet, he forgot every complaint he had and opened his mouth in shock. He couldn’t take his eyes off at your gorgeous figure as you walked down the aisle.

“ I’ve never seen her looking so beautiful before. And she’s mine now.”

Originally posted by jungkooksarms


Hoseok was already a bit teary-eyed when the music started, but he burst into tears when he finally saw you. You looked so beautiful with your hair and makeup done, that he couldn’t look at you without crying. He was a bit embarrassed to cry in front of your families, but he couldn’t help it. Jimin gave him a handkerchief to wipe his tears as he ugly-sobbed. You laughed as you finally reached your future husband and you tried to calm him down, at least for a few minutes to say your vows. During the vows, he cried again. And for the rest of the day.

“ But [Y/N] looks so pretty and i’m so happy, i can’t help but cry.

Originally posted by hopejungs

Rap Monster:

His eyes turned to the entrance when he heard the song that announced your arrival. Namjoon smiled as he watched you walk down the aisle, looking so beautiful in the long, white dress. He couldn’t believe he found a person as perfect as you and that he was the one to marry you. His eyes widened when you stepped on your dress, making you trip. Luckily, your father caught you before you fell, making you laugh in embarrassment. Namjoon panicked when he saw you trip, but breathed in relief as a disaster was avoided. Now he knew why he was the one to marry you.

“ Ah Jagi, now i know we are meant for each other, are you okay?

Originally posted by baebsaes


Jimin bit his lip and giggled when he saw you dressed in white, not believing how lucky he was. You looked like an angel in that dress and he almost felt his heart explode. His famous eye smile was watching you get closer and closer and you couldn’t help but blush at how happy your husband looked. He immediately reached to hold your hands, saying sweet words about how lucky he was and how beautiful you looked. He got a bit shy as you two held hands and said your vows and he knew that you’ll both look red as fuck in the wedding videos and photos. 

“ Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like an angel.

Originally posted by cloudjimin


He was excited, moving around and smiling at his best man, wanting to see you sooner. When you appeared, he started laughing, but not in a mean way, but  because he was shocked. He was amazed by your beauty and how good you looked in your dress as you slowly walked towards him. He giggled as you finally stepped in front of him, putting his hands on his cheeks to hide his blushing. He complimented you and took your hands in his as he thought about how happy he was to have his whole family and friends witness this special day.   The picture of you in that beautiful white dress was engraved in his mind forever.

“ Oh my, [Y/N] looks so pretty, just look at her!”

Originally posted by jeonsshi


He was waiting nervously, stealing glances at the door, from time to time. When the music started, he knew you had to show up. You stepped slowly, in the rhythm of the music, getting closer and closer to him. He watched in awe, mouth wide open as he blinked a few times. He was amazed by how beautiful you looked and he couldn’t believe that he was gonna marry you in a few minutes. When you finally reached the small podium, he was even more amazed and he couldn’t move his eyes from your face. He knew how lucky he was to marry a person like you and he was glad that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him.

“ I can’t believe this stunning woman will be my wife soon.”

Originally posted by jinkooks

I feel like The Ace Discourse is like if someone begged to come to your party that you and your friends hosted because you were exhausted and just wanted to have a lil bit of time of not being in awful fear and anxiety, and they show up like “Ugh yeah aren’t we all So Tired of how it is out there? by the way, I don’t like your food and this music has Bad Words in it and honestly I think you should leave because this is supposed to be for people that are having a hard time and you look pretty happy so :/ by the way can we change the venue? and also I invited 2576 of my friends”

anonymous asked:

im sorry but how is the show queer baiting simon?? i honestly dont see it

other more eloquent people have probably written about this way better than i can but basically, the writers (i can’t remember the specific one but it was definitely an official source) hinted way back about pansexual simon. i think the context was that someone suggested it in a tweet and then the writer(s) tweeted about it? i’m not sure, but there was some big hinting in any case.

then (spoiler alert) emeraude announced that someone’s going to come out in ep 10, and since then everyone’s been wondering who it’ll be.

and now in ep 3, simon is heavy-handedly being coded as non-straight. this gifset sums it up pretty neatly.

  • he explicitly refers to “coming out” in terms of telling his loved ones about his vampirism
  • clary talks about his mother accepting him for “who he is” (think “born this way” anthem and you’ll get why these are connected)
  • he has a scene with his mom where he says “there’s something i need to tell you […] about who i am” (an interesting sidenote is that he doesn’t say what, but who) to which his mom says “its alright, i know. what, did you think i wasn’t going to find out?”. again, it sounds very much like the traditional coming out scenario
  • ^ is also directly followed by raphael entering the room; it’s revealed that he had gone to see simon’s mom without him and simon’s mom proceeds to ask him over for dinner. the ~official~ interpretation of the scene is that raphael is threatening simon into going back to his assignment, but there’s a lot of subtext here too

the thing about this kind of subtext is that straight viewers probably won’t pick up on it because it’s not relevant to them (they’ve never had to come out so they won’t recognize simon’s horror at the potential reaction from his mother, they’ve never had to listen to their parents call their partner ‘your friend’ so they won’t react to simon’s mom calling raphael simon’s friend, etc) but lgbt viewers will. the same goes for clizzy. a straight viewer might look at clizzy and think “aw, they’re such supportive friends! how cute! they’re like sisters!” while a lgbt viewer (such as myself) see in clizzy’s dynamic things i recognize from my own romantic relationships with other girls.

but when we’re talking about simon specifically, it’s queerbaiting because the writers talked about pansexual simon and know that it’s something a lot of fans want (pretty sure this happened before the filming, if not the writing, of s2). then they proceed to write in these details that are very much coding simon as non-straight. if they then end up not following through with this, that’s queerbaiting, because they will have gotten people’s hopes up with empty promises and hints, without holding up their end of the bargain.


my favorite taylor moment, you ask @bmlg? the first time I ever saw her on tour! 

The first time I saw @taylorswift was on her speak now world tour! I had floor seats with my best friend, who I’ve seen all her tours since then with, and we were so excited! when taylor rolled around on her fearless tour, the economy had hit my family pretty hard and there was just no extra change around for concert tickets. but by the speak now tour, things got better and i was finally going to see my best friend on tour! 

I remember being completely struck with how surreal she sounded in person. Like a disney princess, I remember saying. Nothing will ever hit me more than the moment she sang “I’m shining like fireworks over your sad empty town,” from Dear John and my best friend and I looked at each other as the fireworks went off one awe of the beautiful person in front of us. It’s truly nothing I will ever forget. 

From that moment on, I swore I would meet her one day. That moment hasn’t come yet, but I know my time will come soon. Thank you @taylorswift for being who you are and giving me the courage to change for the last 9 years. I look forward to riding out the rest of this journey with you! 

compulsory heterosexuality as i experienced it

this post is obviously inspired by @clextra​ and many other people i’ve seen sharing their experiences. they are such an interesting read and i thought i would say something too because its a good reflection tool and it could potentially help someone through their own feelings. so here goes.

  • “she has a lot of boy friends. uh oh, that’s a worry!”
    • i found my old baby journal and my mum wrote that when i was barely a toddler. its not pleasant to think about but the root of my compulsory heterosexuality was my mother’s attitudes when i was younger. she would repeatedly insist that i had crushes on every boy i met when i was little. the most prominent time was when i was six and my best friend was a boy called sean. both of our mothers thought we had crushes on each other. i was six and he was just my friend. mum said she could tell because she ‘knew these things’, and because i believed her, i grew up thinking that what i was feeling (friendship with a boy) was romantic love. meanwhile, i idolised and adored my first grade teacher (who was a lot like miss honey mind you) and i kissed girls on self appointed dares. but because i was little and they werent boys, i didnt question it.
  • “no dating til you’re 18!” “ok”
    • i am my parents’ first child and only daughter, and though it wasn’t said in so many words, it was a given that i would not be allowed to have a boyfriend until my parents said so. and i was okay with that. i coasted through primary school without crushes on boys. most of my friends were getting their first boyfriends and i was confused. like, ‘why would they want to do that?’. while my friends noticed boys for the first time, i noticed girls’ breasts and stared at my friends when they were getting changed. but because i was young and they weren’t boys, i didnt question it.
  • “they think you’re gay”
    • i was about two weeks into high school when a few girls spread a nasty rumour that i was a lesbian. i lost 90% of the female friends i’d made, girls would move away when i sat next to them. although it wasn’t the first time others thought i was gay, it was the first time it got really awful. i cried a lot and told me mum as soon as i got in the car. without missing a beat, my mum said, ‘well you’re not gay, so there’s nothing to worry about’, which calmed me down quickly. i went home and rewatched my avril lavigne dvd for the third time that week. but because i was young and she wasnt a boy, i didnt question it.
  • “eeny meeny miny moe”
    • it seems to be a common thing that baby wlw chose boys to have crushes on, but i took it to an extreme. in an effort to convince people that i was straight, i got out the class pictures and played eeny meeny miny moe to choose which boy i liked and what my backup options were. the boy i chose i had a crush on for about 2 years. he was barely my friend, we’d spoken about three times, but i was In Love TM with him. i watched how my friends talked about their crushes so i tried to copy them. they were obsessed with their crushes, so i became obsessed with making sure i acted obsessed enough. meanwhile, i had sex dreams about girls, but because i was young and they weren’t boys, i didn’t question it.
  • “you’re smiling, that means you like him!”
    • my friends insisted that i had a crush on one my best friends. he was the aforementioned ‘backup’ from a few years earlier, and because he was nice and i liked spending time with him because he was my friend, i assumed that i did have a crush on him. about a year later my friends about this and manipulated me into asking him out, which i didnt want to do at all. even though i liked him, i didn’t want to date him. i wasn’t heartbroken or even sad really when he said no, if anything i was relieved that my crush was over. but i was also embarrassed and i avoided him for a long time out of shame. meanwhile that same year i recognised i had a crush on a girl in my art class so i panicked and dropped the class. i rationalised that it was a one time thing and it didnt count. i was young and she wasn’t a boy, so i didn’t question it.
  • “i don’t get it”
    • after panicking about having a crush on a girl, i went straight back into the compulsive behaviour of obsessively choosing crushes but i would only like boys that were boring and way below my standards so i wouldn’t ever date them anyway. it was a safe way to keep my Heterosexual Identity while avoiding actually needing to date boys. however i did have my first and only boyfriend when i was 15. he asked me out and other girls liked him a lot, so i said yes. the ‘relationship’ lasted two weeks. i didn’t want to touch him at all, i didn’t even want to hold his hand, and because i didn’t see the point, i broke up with him. it was at this time that i first recognised that how other girls felt about boys was very different to how i did. at lunch my friends would talk about how hot their boyfriends were or and share stories about their sex lives. i spent a lot of time listening with a disgusted and disturbed look on my face. i didn’t get it. upon realising that i never wanted to have sex with boys, i came to the conclusion that i was not like other girls and that i was better than them (which was an awful way to think). i then delved into fiction. i wrote from boys pov to gush about how pretty girls were, i became very emotionally invested in brittany and santana from glee, and created oc’s who were questioning. bonus gay points because i envisioned the characters as phoebe tonkin, who i ‘admired’ so much i made an ultra gay video about how hot she was. but because she wasn’t a boy, i didn’t question it.
  • “oh shit??????”
    • (tmi coming up dudes) so i graduated high school and i was finally free from that toxic environment. not long later i discovered masturbation (years after everyone else had because i never even thought of doing it), and although i really made an effort to fantasise about whatever male celebrity i had a crush on, i would daze out and just focus on the feelings. christmas 2012 i saw clara oswald / jenna coleman’s face and i was suddenly Really Interested in doctor who and i plowed through seven seasons in a few weeks just to get to her two episodes. i counted down how many episodes i had to get through to finally get to clara. “thirty episodes until clara! ten episodes until clara! next episode is clara!” sometime in the middle of all this i started entertaining the idea that i wasn’t straight. i tried to see if i could masturbate thinking about clara, and oh yes i could.
  • “i am bi but with a really really really really really strong preference for women”
    • (just a preface that this is my personal experience and that bisexuality is a real orientation) i like boys, i like girls. that means i’m bi, right? i was ready to embrace that i wasn’t straight and for me that meant having an identifier. i jumped the gun and said i was bi before i was sure of it, because that had to be what i was. i didn’t even consider that i could be a lesbian. i went through my first years of uni developing crushes on a lot of girls who i knew, but never on guys. as i discovered what it felt like to like girls, men paled in comparison and i realised that i only found like two men in the whole world attractive, and they were unobtainable celebrities. i envisioned my future and it was always with a woman. i would fantasise about women all the time, but never about men. it didn’t cross my mind to anymore. i thought i was bi with a really strong preference for women until the beginning of last year, when a man hit on me. i walked home absolutely certain that i was a lesbian, because i realised that i never ever wanted to interact with men in a sexual/romantic way. and i’ve identified as a lesbian ever since.

looking back i’m sort of like how the hell did i not know i was a lesbian? i really should have, but compulsory heterosexuality fucked me up big time for 21 years. i hope putting this all into words helped someone. compulsory heterosexuality is a bitch.

Things I personally love about "RWBY"

-I don’t give a FUCK what anyone says, I love the voice acting from every character. Everyone sounds unique and wonderful, and Monty designated a plethora of roles to his friends, which is pretty neat. It feels like finding easter eggs, finding out who voices a new character in “RWBY.” Obvs the VAs can improve in a lot of ways, but I still love the voice they bring to their characters

-THE ANIMATION OF BODY LANGUAGE! I’m always in awe with how far the show has come in its animation, but body and facial language has always been one of my favorite things about the show. When the characters look natural moving around and gesturing, it takes my breath away, and stands out really well.

-Teams RWBY, JNPR, and SSSN as a whole. My babus. I love them so much! How team RWBY is always fighting out of their league, but they’re ambitious enough to try; Team JNPR is a ragtag assembly of a team, but also immensely relatable as individuals; Team SSSN is… … ….team SSSN.

-The actual antagonists, personality wise, have been really intriguing, IMO. Roman, Emerald, and Mercury have been fascinating. Even Cinder. I know people give Cinder a lot of flak for being //too// vaguely written, but I like how she’s not a melodramatic or theatrical villain.

-It’s pretty clear that “RWBY” notices and kind of responds to fan feedback, which is a blessing and a curse- but it makes things interesting

-I still find he visual style of the show pleasantly cartoony, and still fail to comprehend why people find it an eyesore. And the technical improvements to RWBY’s visuals are great. And I love every bit of concept art I see for the series

-THE FIGHT ANIMATION. Obvs the main draw of the show. How the fights mostly have your jaw sitting on the floor and you have a hard time picking it back up

-THE WEAPONS!!! obvs the OTHER main draw of the show. How often have I screamed at finding out what a character’s weapon is, and what it does? I love how methodical weapons and their transformations (if they have them) and functions are.

-The soundtrack. Nuff said.

-How colorful the world is meant to be. Desaturated, gritty series are everywhere, and RWBY’S colors as an important theme make the show inviting to watch

-MY FAV EPISODES: Ruby Rose, Players and Pieces, Black and White, Best Day Ever, Welcome to Beacon, Painting the Town…, Search and Destroy, Mountain Glenn, No Brakes, Round One, New Challengers, Never Miss a Beat, Fall, Destiny, PvP