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What we really need is an adaptation of the original 1740 The Beauty and the Beast

So were you aware that the The Beauty and the Beast story we all know is a heavily abridged and rewritten version of a much longer novella by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve?  And that a lot of the plot holes existing in the current versions exist because the 1756 rewrite cut out the second half of the novella, which consisted entirely of the elaborate backstory that explains all the weird shit that happened before?  And that the elaborate backstory is presented in a way that’s kind of boring because the novel had only just been invented in 1740 and no one knew how they worked yet, but contains a bazillion awesome ideas that beg for a modern retelling?  And that you are probably not aware that the modern world needs this story like air but the modern world absolutely needs this story like air?  Allow me to explain:

The totally awesome elaborate backstory that explains Beauty and the Beast

  • Once upon a time there was a king, a queen, and their only son
  • But while the prince was still in his infancy, in a neat reversal of how these fairy tales usually go, the king tragically died, leaving his wife to act as Regent until their son reaches maturity
  • Unfortunately, the rulers of all the lands surrounding them go, “Hmm, the kingdom is ruled by a woman now, it must be weak, time for an invasion!”
  • And the Queen goes, “Well, if I let some general fight all these battles for me, he’ll totally amass enough fame and power to make a bid for the throne; if I want to protect my son’s crown, I have no choice but to take up arms and lead the troops myself!
  • (Btw, I want to stress that this woman is not Eowyn or Boudica and nothing in the way her story is presented suggests that she had any interest martial exploits before or in any way came to enjoy them during these battles.  This is a perfectly ordinary court lady who would much rather be embroidering altar covers for the royal chapel and playing with her child until necessity made her go, “Oh no, this sucks, I guess I have to become a Warrior Queen now” and she just happened to kick ass at it anyway.)
  • And the Queen totally kicked ass, but the whole “twice as good for half the credit” thing meant that no matter how many battles she won, potential enemies refused to take her and her army seriously until she had defeated them so no sooner would she fend off one invasion than another one would pop up on a different border.
  • So she spent the majority of her young son’s life away from the castle leading armies, but it was OK because she left him in the care of her two best friends, who just happen to be fairies!  This was an awesome idea because a) fairies have magic, and therefore are like the best people to protect the prince from any threats and b) fairies consider themselves to be so above humanity that the lowest fairy outranks the highest mortal, so they’d have no interest in taking a human throne.  Good thing they were both good fairies instead of one good and one evil one!
  • (Spoiler:  they were not both good fairies.)
  • So the two fairies basically take turns raising the prince until he’s old enough to rule.  And on the eve of his twenty-first birthday, the evil older one comes into the prince’s bedroom.
  • “So listen, kid.  You’re about to become king, your mother’s on her way home from the war to see you crowned, and I have a third piece of good news for you!  You see, I’ve actually been spending so much time here lately because Fairyland’s become a bit too hot to hold me for reasons totally not related to me being secretly evil.  And if I have to hang in the human world, I might as well reside in the upper echelons of it, so even though as a powerful fairy I completely eclipse your puny human status in a staggeringly unimaginable way, since you’re about to be king and since my premonition that I should stick this whole guardianship thing out because you would be hot one day has totally proved accurate (go me), I will graciously lower myself to allowing you to marry me.  Please feel free to grovel at my feet in gratitude.  (Btw, we can totally start the wedding night now, we’ll tell your mother about it when she arrives tomorrow.)”

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ARMY 4th: BTS ROLLING PAPERS TO EACH OTHER:

Jungkook’s rolling paper by the members: 

Namjoon: You have no mental sharpness but you are good looking. You are like the main character of an anime. you have so much passion. your eyes and body are massive. You really love Muji Tea. Number 1 at making our team’s average age younger. Jeon Jungkook <3 the ‘guk’ (Broth/soup) that I love the most? Bean paste soup ~ <3

Jin: Jungkook turn on your speakers quieter at home. Come with me to the water park again. Let’s not forget (to go)

Yoongi: Jungkook you are trying to write music lately. If you have something you don’t know, use the internet. I am not a professor/genius. To be honest. I am too lazy to help you hahaha. I’m joking. I will help you a lot. So gain strength. Hwaiting!! (a cheering)

Hoseok: Jungkook-ah!!! Turn down the volume of the speakers in our dorm. I can hear it even in my room. -_- You pig!!

Jimin: Just continue growing up like you have until now. Just don’t grow up taller. Just grow up kind.

Taehyung: Jungkook-ah. It’s hyung … really I’m hyung (He is saying that he is older than him) … you became nicer and gentler lately. *acting cute* let’s have fun/play together.

Taehyung’s rolling paper by the members

Namjoon: You are so loud when you play (computer)  games. you bother me but I also snore so I understand you. You are the best looking these days. You are like a farmer. You were born as an idol. You are glued to Gucci. you are so innocent/pure. You have no mental sharpness (not able to catch into things quickly) but you are so cute. So lovable. Kim Taehyung <3 the 'hyung’ that I love the most? a-hyung <3

Jin: When you’re playing games please be a little bit quieter. But you have become brighter these days and that makes me very happy. I hope you make the world brighter with your brightness.

yoongi: It’s right that you do everything to the best of your abilities.try your hardest. It’s right that you play games very passionately. Since you do everything very passionately, let’s passionately enjoy music and games too. Hwaiting.

Hoseok: taehyung-ah hyung always loves you ~~ <3 <3  stop sleeping with the air conditioner on. You will get sick ~ <3 <3 stop playing games so much ~ <3 <3 study with hyung instead <3 <3

Jimin: I don’t know since when but you seem to have become more like an adult, but you are also always like a kid (satori). My friend, stop playing games so much before I go throw your computer away. Wake up when I wake you up my friend. I will shove my hands in your armpits. (drew V as the heart figure he always draws himself as). thank you my friend (In tiny letters).

Jungkook: V hyung! Hyung, stop biting me it hurts so much I am going to die. I always feel this way but you are so good looking.

Jimin’s rolling paper by the members

Namjoon; You are sometimes cunning but also sexy, short, attractive when you dance, you always work so hard, you like billiard, you changed the most, but you aren’t obvious Chimchim <3 THE 'Chim’ (acupuncture) that I like the most? Poison acupuncture. 

Jin: Jimin-ah you are an angel. I will do a three lettered acrostic poem using your name. park: In park’s family something good happened. Ji: You are a very cool friend. Min: Min Yoongi 

Yoongi: Jimin you are always doing things to the best of your abilities and that’s so charismatic. Let’s be together for a very long time. I applaud your hard work. thank you.

Hoseok: Jimin-ah our Jiminie who is the most attractive in the entire world ~~ <3 <3 when you go back to our dorm today, please clean the things on your desk ~~<3 <3 have strength!!

Taehyung: Jimin-ah~ even if you do aegyo (act cute) to my eyes you are not cute at all ~ do it to a certain amount ~ but when I see that cuteness thank you *acting cute* 

Jungkook: jimin hyung! be thankful that you are older than me. I am kidding, hyung you are always shining!!! Rice cake (jimin’s nickname) forever!!!

Namjoon’s rolling paper by the members:

Jin: Mon-ah I pick up a lot of things that you drop on the plane for you. I wonder how you have so many friends that are like moms around you. But you are cool.

Yoongi: Our eternal leader Rap Monster. Even though I don’t say it I respect you a lot. please always gain strength hwaithing. Thank you.

Hoseok: My center!! My supportive friend Rap Mon!! Namjoon~~~should we go for chicken and beer??

Jimin: A person that drops everything x 18. Stop dropping your phone hyung. You look so cool when you do solo stages. You are the number 1 coolest person when you are on stage. When you are off stage you are the number 1 dummy.  

Taehyung: Watching our leader who’s always cool, I learn something every day. Continue teaching me composing and producing and stop dropping things ~!! Kim Namjoon is the awesome and the best looking.

Jungkook: To RM. you are sleeping behind me right now and you look very very handsome. please continue showing us your cool side <3

Hoseok’s rolling paper by the members

Namjoon: You are often like a horse, but you pull us like a horse. You are like an angel 1004-9 (sounds like “you’re like an angel” in Korean). the most professional. When I see you my heart feels at ease. you dress nicely. Your shoulders got bigger. You’re very neat. You work hard to make songs lately. The point of our choreography. Jung Hoseok <3 the 'seok’ that I like the most is? Kim Jiseok hyung <3 (making a joke about liking another actor with 'seok’ in his name)

Jin: Hoba, your existence guides/leads my path. you teach me dancing and if I’m about to go down the wrong path you yell at me. You are scary :( I’m sorry I was wrong :(

Yoongi: Your bright energy always gives us hope. I hope you always stay bright and hopeful.

Jimin: You are a cool hyung whether it’s on stage or off stage. you’re such a perfect roommate that people who use their bedrooms alone don’t make me jealous. Sometimes you’re really like an adult and sometimes you are such a silly hyung. You are a hyung that always goes shopping with me. you are a hyung that’s brighter than anyone but also a hyung that gets tired faster than anyone. you are a hyung that loves seafood that I can’t eat. you are a hyung that’s always always loud. You are a hyung that always makes fun of me but also tells me that I’m cool. let’s not be sick.

Taehyung: Hoseok hyung you are someone that makes me laugh. You are someone that gives me joy. you are a hyung that takes care of me. I’m always thankful and I love you. Our hope.

Jungkook: Hope hyung. You are always a bright energy! Thank you for always making the environment happy. I’m catching up to your producing!

Yoongi’s rolling paper by the members: 

Namjoon: I wish you would gain some strength. when I look at you sometimes, you really are good looking. You are often very attractive lately. Your body is very weak, you are like a grandpa. I don’t know since when but you started wearing only black clothing. You got a bit more tanned so you are like brown sugar now. Your music is cool. MinSuga who is important to BTS <3 The 'ga’ that I like the most is? Shim Chunga (an old Korean folk tale)

Jin: Yoongi-ah you are my roommate, even when we marry let’s live together and be roommates how is that? 

Hoseok: Suga hyung!! I always have a thankful heart towards you ~~ <3 <3 I am also thankful for the gift you gave me recently <3 <3 <3 I anticipate you hyung ~~<3 I will give you a birthday gift this time ~ !! <3

Jimin: It makes me happy seeing you laugh often. Always stay this way. Don’t faint when you get older and do extraneous activities. you are very attractive when you perform these days.

Taehyung: A hyung that is pretty doing many things, and smiling. Don’t be sick, always be healthy, and make only good memories. The best smile angel of the universe Min Yoongi hwaiting (cheering)

Jungkook: suga hyung. let’s go eat lamb skewers one day. let’s lose weight first though!!!

Jin’s rolling paper by the members

Namjoon: Your mental age is like 2.6 years old, but you love eating. When you drive, when you play the guitar, when you are good at things at times, you are the most attractive. Your age worth is -99999999 won. You are often cute. You were a lot more attractive when we debuted, but you are still good looking. Kim Seok-jin <3 the 'jin’ that I love the most is? Crane wing formation (in Korean)

Yoongi: Jin hyung please act your age … I’m joking. It’s fun seeing you so bright lately! Thank you!!

Hoseok: Jin hyung that I love. I’m so glad that you are the oldest hyung in our team ~~~ !! please act your age though!!~<3<3

Jimin: I’m thankful that you are you. You’re the funniest out of all of us. I think this often lately, but you’re really good looking. You’re also like an old man though … also like a child … also like a fool … also like an angel … Thank you hyung.

Taehyung: Jin hyung please come back to the time when you were good looking~!! Now *sigh* .. never mind .. I like you. also, hyung you match short hair a lot. everything Jin does is good. have strength always!

jungkook: Jin hyung … It’s so tiring stooping to your level but when I see you it’s so fun and joyful … please remain that way. Aja! Aja! hwaiting (cheering).

Cr rosoidai 
That took me like forever to write. Hope you enjoy it ^^ @mimibtsghost

Rare Collection of 100 Introvert Quotes That Will Make You Feel Understood

Originally posted by water-aesthetics

Dear introverts, it’s difficult to understand you. Many people don’t comprehend that solitude and feeling alone are different things. As an introvert, you know that your solitude is a sacred space where you can recharge. We encourage you to have a look at these amazingly thoughtful and profound quotes, which will resonate with all introverts.

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My dear lgbt+ kids. 

You’re allowed to be annoyed at certain kinds of “supporters”. 

You don’t have to be grateful for “support” that makes you uncomfortable. 

This applies to: 

- the overly curious “supporters”. The ones who constantly ask you about things that are not their business. (”You’re bi? How many boys did you fuck? How many girls? Ever had a threesome? I bet you had a threesome, tell me all about it!”). You deserve better than to be reduced to your sexual history.

- the super straight “allies”. The ones who constantly need to remind you they’re straight. (”You’re gay? As a straight person, i’m cool with that. I’m a straight gay supporter. But don’t think i’m gay, i just support you, but like as a straight friend, so don’t hit on me, okay? I’m not gay myself, so i don’t want to date you, okay? I’m just a straight supporter.”) You deserve better than to be treated as a predator who hits on everyone. 

- the “allies” in theory. The ones who totally support you…. in theory.. ( “I totally support the lgbt+ community!… What, she uses he/him now? That’s ridiculous. And why would she want to go into the mens bathroom, that’s just creepy.”) You deserve better than empty words.  

- the “straight best friend”. Typically straight girls who see gay boys as a cool fashion accessory. (”You’re gay? Soooo cute! I have a gay best friend now! Hey, everyone, look at my gay best friend, isn’t he cute?”) You deserve better than to be to be collected and shown off like a exotic pet. 

- the tokenizer. The ones who use you as proof of how inclusive they are or act as if they’re special for treating you with a basic level of respect. (”I’m not transphobic, one of my friends is trans!”, “I even called you “she” in front of others today, i mean, who would do that? You’re lucky you have a friend like me.”) You deserve better than to be used to make someone else look like a good person. 

You’re not a “snowflake” for not wanting to be treated as a second-class human being. 

You’re not “greedy” for demanding genuine support respect. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom 

anonymous asked:

Do you have like a checklist or something of things that need to be done before you can move out? I have over a year to get ready, but I'm not certain what "ready" means exactly. What needs to happen before a person can live on their own (in the USA)? Thanks for answering, love your blog!

I’m realizing now that I have lots of posts that detail different parts of this moving into a new apartment process, but none that discuss everything. So this post is essentially a conglomerate of four different posts: Adulting 108Moving (On Your Own), Living On Your Own, and Apartment Hunting 101.

But here they are, in step by step order! Enjoy!

Finding an Apartment (Apartment Hunting 101)

Overview: There’s no getting around it, apartment hunting is a stressful process. The waiting and wondering gets the best of everyone, so give yourself a break and remember not to be too hard on yourself. The more prepared and decisive you are, the better off you’ll be!

1. Step One: The most important step in this entire process is coming up with your list of “Need and Won’t”. This list can always be adjusted in the spur of the moment, but will act as a baseline to help you easily disregard impractical apartments. Before you even start your search, sit down with any roommates (SO or otherwise) and come up with a list. Here is my list:

  • Need: Dishwasher, pet friendly, heat included.
  • Won’t: First floor apartment, all or mostly carpeted apartment, no closet space.

2. Step Two: Decide your price range. The paycheck to paycheck life is not a great one to live, so try to find an apartment that still allows you to put anywhere from $100-$500 into savings every month. Figure out how much you make monthly, with taxes taken out. If you’re paid every other week, this is two paychecks. If you’re paid every week, this is four paychecks. Start with your total monthly income, and subtract the following expenses. Let’s say you make $1,000 with taxes taken out:

  • Rent - Let’s say you’re living with a roommate, and your rent is only $500 per month.
  • Electric - My electric expense is $60 a month for a one bedroom. Once again, you’re living with a roommate so let’s say that you pay half of that. $30.
  • Internet - $30 a month internet only. Please don’t waste your money on cable. Just use your mom’s Netflix account.
  • Travel expenses - I spend about $85 a month on gas. Let’s say you use public transportation and spend around $100.
  • Food - Figure you’ll be spending $100 per person each month. So that’s another $100.
  • Misc expense: Let’s just add an additional $50 worth of expenses on. Because you never know what’ll happen.

That leaves you $130 a month extra to put in savings or to use in the event of an emergency! That’s awesome. Substitute your own numbers in, and figure out how much you can afford for rent. Immediately disregard any apartments that do not fit in this budget.

3. Step Three: The best way to find dependable apartments is to consult with your fellow apartment renters. Consult with coworkers, friends, family- anyone who is currently renting in the area that you would like to rent in. Get the inside scoop on potential apartments, both their advantages and their pitfalls. If you don’t know anyone who is renting where you’d like to rent, here are some other apartment hunting options:

  • Craigslist: Obviously
  • Drive-bys: Literally drive around until you find a cool looking apartment complex. Find their rental office and go right in, this is how I found my first apartment.
  • Your college: The Dean’s Office will have a list of apartment offerings to give kids who don’t qualify for on-campus housing.
  • This Site: A list of the top ranked apartment hunting sites.

4. Set up an appointment: After finding a potential apartment, consult with the landlord or apartment representative to set up a date and time to see the apartment. Respond promptly to any email or phone call they leave for you. On the flip side, if they aren’t prompt in their response to you RUN.

The first apartment I ever looked at, my boyfriend and I showed up on time and the landlord wasn’t there. We called her and she said that she was running late, and told us that the apartment was open and we could show ourselves inside. Serious red flag, but we gave it the benefit of the doubt and went in. Long story short, she never showed up. She gave us a tour of the apartment over the phone and kept saying that she was five minutes away, but never came. We later found out that her rental office was two minutes from the apartment we looked at. Talk about flakey! We told her we weren’t interested, if she can’t even show up to show us the apartment, how the hell can we depend on her to fix any problems we might have? Because you’re young and inexperienced, some landlords will try to give you the run around. Your age is no concern of their’s, and has no bearing on how you will act as a tenant. Here are some red flags for flaky landlords:

  • Not contacting you within one day of leaving them a message. Disregarding the weekends.
  • Not showing up when they say they will.
  • Repeatedly telling you that you’re “young” or “inexperienced”.
  • Telling you that the apartment “is good for college kids” or “a good first apartment” (that just means it’s a shit hole).
  • If they tell you that the apartment has a large turnover (people are leaving for a reason).
  • If you speak with one person on the phone, and meet a different person who shows you the apartment.
  • If they can’t or refuse to give you the exact rent amount.
  • If they tell you that have to “run some numbers” based on your history. An apartment’s rent should be the same for everybody.
  • If they can’t answer basic questions about service providers for the apartment.
  • If you get a weird vibe from them. Listen to your intuition! This is the person who is going to be responsible for fixing all your apartment related problems, you will be dealing with them every month at least. If they seem unreliable, don’t sign the lease!

5. Step Five: Find your appointment buddy! Never, ever, EVER go to look at a potential apartment by yourself. I don’t care how friendly Wendy seems online, she may be a serial killer. There’s no way to tell. Here’s a list of people who can accompany you:

  • Your older brother
  • Your boyfriend/girlfriend
  • Your Aunt Meredith
  • Your second cousin
  • Your friend who can scream really loudly
  • Your Mother
  • Your Step Mother
  • Your old nosey neighbor who smells like cats
  • Literally anyone you can trust

Bribe them with chocolate, I don’t care. Take someone with you! If you absolutely cannot find anyone to go with you, then you need to take additional precautions. Here are some options:

  • Kitestring
  • “Share My Location” on your Iphone
  • Pepper Spray
  • Posting to Facebook the address you are going to and when you are expected to arrive and leave.
  • Rescheduling your appointment to a date and time when you can be accompanied

Apartment Checklist

A mental checklist is good in theory, but will you remember it when you’re actually at the prospective apartment with your Aunt Meredith? I think not! Make a physical list of some of the following points, and feel free to add your own. my list is super extensive, but that’s just who I am. I am detail oriented.

Tuck this list in your back pocket and consult it when the person showing you the apartment is not looking.

Expense related

  • How much is the rent?
  • Is the rent just the rent, or are there any amenities included? Some apartments include heat, hot water, or electric expenses.
  • Is hot water included (if the apartment has a washer/dryer in it, then the water is probably a separate expense)?
  • What Internet service providers are available?
  • What electric service providers are available?
  • Do I have to pay for garbage removal?
  • What is the average electric expense that other renters deal with?
  • Ask when rent is due. Find out what the rent check procedure is.

Basic

  • What type of heating/cooling is provided?
  • What appliances are in the kitchen? *If there is no oven or fridge and you are required to buy your own then run*
  • What is the apartment complex turnover rate?
  • Do you have a choice of carpet vs. hard wood floors?
  • Will window blinds be provided? *If the apartment complex won’t pay for something as simple as window blinds then the landlord is a cheapskate and can’t be trusted*
  • Is there a “curfew”? Most apartments have a time of night when all the tenants are supposed to be quiet. This is generally not enforced.
  • What will your address be?

Additional

  • Is any furniture included?
  • Is there a Laundromat in the complex? If not where is the closest one?
  • Similarly, is the Laundromat in the complex card operated or quarter operated? Do you have to pay a fee for the card? Is there a quarter dispensing machine?
  • Will you be given a free parking permit? *If parking is not free then run*
  • Ask about local shopping and gas stations.
  • Ask where your mailbox will be.
  • Ask what their pet policy is. (some apartment complexes charge an fee)
  • Ask what their policy on repainting/decorating is.
  • Ask what their maintenance request policy is.
  • Ask where the nearest dumpster is.
  • How often does the complex loose power?
  • Is there a nearby police station or fire department?

General check

  • Check all cabinets (for bug infestations or mouse droppings or that they open properly).
  • Open all the windows and check to see that there are screens installed. Especially important for us cat owners! If there are no screens- are they going to install screens before you move in?
  • Check that all the light switches work.
  • Check that the water turns on.
  • Flush the toilet.
  • Check all the closet space (for size, mold, and water damage).
  • Check how all the doors are set (some apartments will put doors in incorrectly and they’ll never close properly).
  • Check the outlets (bring a phone chord and plug it in).
  • Check any balcony access.
  • Take a look at the paint- is it chipped? Is it stained? Will they be repainting?
  • Knock on the walls to see how hollow they are (hollow walls require studs if you want to hang anything up).
  • Open up the oven and make sure it’s clean. If it’s not clean make it clear that it should be cleaned if you want to move into the apartment. It’s not your job to clean up after the previous tenant.
  • Check that none of the floorboards are sticking up/creaking.
  • Check for nails and screws in between hardwood floor, tile and carpet (I’m not even kidding).
  • Check your phone to see how much cell service you have.
  • Can you hear any neighbors? Could you hear them in the hallway?

Final Decision

If the apartment you visited fits all your criteria, feel free to tell the landlord that you’re interested in pursuing this apartment. This way they can advise you of the next steps. Before you sign ANYTHING, visit the apartment complex twice more to make sure that everything is kosher. Do NOT tell the landlord that you will be coming by.

  • During the day: Do a drive-by of your prospective apartment to see what it looks like during the day. Is it safe? Are there lots of people standing around outside? Is it loud?
  • During the night: Come back another night to check the safety of your apartment. Ask yourself- would I feel comfortable taking the trash out late at night? Having friends over? If the answer is “no” then run…

Applying to Rent the Apartment

Overview: After choosing an apartment that you like, there are lots of steps that need to be taken before you can actually move in. 

1. Rental application. You will need to fill out some sort of rental application when applying for an apartment. You’ll be asked for previous addresses (if you’ve lived in previous apartment complexes landlords will actually call and ask about how good of a tenant you were), if you’ve been convicted of a crime, pay stubs, references and/or credit information. If you don’t have a credit score, some complexes will require you to co-sign the lease with someone who does, like a parent. If a landlord does NOT ask you to fill out any kind of application, I’d advise you to run for the hills and not rent from them.

2. Approval. Apartment complexes will mail you a packet of information after you’ve been approved. This will list your new address, what power company services are available, apartment amenities, school districts, local attractions, as well as your next steps. My current apartment complex also mailed me what Internet providers are available, which was a nice extra bonus.

3. Initial expenses. Your next step will be to put down a “security deposit”. This will either be exactly the same or very close to the amount you pay for rent monthly. This deposit ensures that you don’t destroy the apartment, if you do they won’t refund you. You will also be asked to pay your first month’s rent in advance. Most rental companies will only accept money orders for these initial expenses, you have to go to your bank to get these. They’re essentially checks that take the money out of your account right away.

4. Apartment check. After you’re approved for an apartment, ask to see the actual unit that you’ll be moving into. Make sure that you see said apartment before signing any lease. Notice how loud your neighbors are, how good of a cell signal you have, the condition of the apartment, etc. This is a pretty extensive list.

Before You Move

1. List it up. Make a list of everything that you will need to accomplish before you are ready to move. This includes items that need to be packed, people that need to be contacted, pet accommodations, etc. I love lists, but you may not, so use any organizational technique that works for you.

2. Divide and conquer. After you’ve made your list, organize items based off of how much time they’ll take you. Packing will be fairly time-consuming, so this is something you’ll want to invite friends over for and break up over several days. I like to have “moving” parties whenever I’m getting ready to move, essentially I buy some chips and dip, play some Trap, and invite my friends over to act as my minions. Something like canceling your subscription to Cosmo will take you very little time and energy to do, so it’s something you can do when you’re ready for a stress-free activity.

3. Contact companies. Speaking of canceling your Cosmo subscription, you will need to update your address with all of the companies you use. If you’re no longer going to be using that company, you’ll need to call them and tell them when to end your service. If you’re going to continue to using that company, you’ll have to call them and tell that you’ll need an address change. Give them the exact date you’ll be moving so that they can backdate your information. Some examples of companies:

  • DMV in the county you’re moving to (if you’re going to drive)
  • Your doctor’s office
  • Your college (even if you graduated, they send out alumni letters all the time)
  • Your credit/debit card company
  • Your bank
  • Your phone company
  • Any government programs you’re a part of
  • Any companies that you have loans with
  • Your health insurance company
  • Your auto insurance company
  • Amazon

4. Pre-move in List. Make a shopping list of all the non-perishable items you will need before moving in. I’m talking trash cans, first aid kits, toilet paper, laundry detergent, etc. I like to work on this list over the span of several days, and do a large shop before moving in. Your moving day will be stressful enough as it is, don’t add the stress of missing something you need. Here’s a pretty good list.

5. Electric set-up. Use the information packed your landlord sent you to find out who your electricity provider is. Call them, you’ll probably get a pre-recorded message. Choose the option that says something along the lines of “set up electricity”. You will be connected to an actual human being, who will ask you to read your new address. Tell them to turn on power to your apartment a couple days before you move in. They will set up a billing plan with you (ask to be put on a budget, it’ll save you lots of money) and give you your account information.

6. Internet set-up. Setting up your internet is similar to setting up your electric, but a bit more hand’s on. Most cable/internet companies always have some sort of deal going on, a year or two years of discounted service. Be aware of when this discount will end, and contact the company to see if they can offer you a new deal. If Verizon is offered in your area, I strongly advise you to use them for Internet service. i was on a two year plan with them that saved us $40 a month on internet service, and after it ended they put us on a new plan that is now saving us $42 a month. Fuck yeah! Also make sure to set your internet installation date for the day after you move in, so that you’re not stuck sitting in your internet-less apartment, unable to read my blog. Know that most internet companies charge installation and routers fees, and if you complain enough they’ll drop one or both of these. Just be like “I’m a poor college student” or threaten to go to another internet company.  

7. Send ahead. If possible, send/drop off some of your items ahead of time. If you have a family member or a friend that lives nearby where you’ll be staying, ask if they can hold a few boxes for you. You can also mail yourself packages and ask your local post office to hold them for you, but you’ll need to arrange that ahead of time.

8. Forwarding address. You will inevitably forget something, so make sure to leave your forwarding address and contact information with your ex-landlord, college, ex-roommate, etc.

9. Signing the Lease. The last thing you will do before moving into your new apartment is signing a lease. You will be given a copy of the lease to keep, as well as the key to your apartment and/or laundry key. Keep your copy of the lease in a safe place, and make sure to get duplicates of your apartment keys.

During Moving

1. Take your time. Don’t try to unpack everything in one day! Take some time to explore your new space, and decide where to put everything in a leisurely way. There is no set schedule for moving.

2. Assistance. If you have friends/family helping you make the move, assign them specific tasks so that nobody spends their time pestering you and asking “what do you need help with?”. You can even decide these tasks ahead of time, during your plane or car ride over.

3. Be neighborly. You’ll likely meet some neighbors during this process, and make sure to stop and greet them, even if you’re in the middle of something. First impressions do matter, even when they shouldn’t, and spending thirty seconds to greet someone in a parking lot may save you a lot of hardship in the long run. Ask your neighbors to recommend local attractions, places to eat, what laundromats to use, etc.

4. Check everything. During your first few days moved into you new apartment, look around and make note of anything wrong. Outlets that don’t work, scratches on the wall, peeling paint, etc. Report these ASAP to your landlord to be fixed. This will give you a good idea of how put together their maintenance unit is. Make sure to offer maintenance workers water and be polite to them when they’re fixing anything in your apartment.

After You’re Settled (Specifically for Living Alone)

1. PKW. Phone, keys, wallet. Every time you go anywhere. Check twice. The worst part of living on your own is having to rely on yourself to never forget to lock yourself out or leave your wallet at a sandwich shop in a mall. Make absolutely sure you have duplicates of your keys (I would get a couple made) and give one to a friend who lives nearby who you can count on. I also like to keep an extra set inside the apartment itself in a secure place, just in case. Your landlord can let you in during office hours, but giving a key to a trustworthy friend helps you 24/7.

2. Cleaning routine. You don’t have to sit down at a writing desk and draft this out, but spend a few minutes coming up with a basic cleaning regime for you to follow. It’s definitely easier to do a little each day, but if that doesn’t work for your schedule set aside at least an hour and a half during your time off to get your apartment spotless. I don’t know about you, but whenever I deep clean my apartment I feel like I’m living in a hotel for a day, and I absolutely love it.

3. Make a “moving” shopping list. This is everything you will need (minus food) for your first week at your new place. Do a big shop, and get all the essentials out of the way: first aid kit, cleaning supplies, tape, cat food, etc. Your first week moving into your new place will be stressful enough, you don’t want to be halfway through setting up your living room and realize that you forgot to buy trash bags.

4. Secure yourself. I’m not the most agile or fast person in the world, and I do live in a mid-sized city that has a good deal of crime. The apartment complex I live in is very safe, but I still like to double lock my front door at night. It might be smart to keep some pepper spray or a baseball bat somewhere in your apartment, just in case.

5. Stay social. Even the most anti-social person gets lonely. Make sure to hang out with your friends, not just your co-workers, your actual friends. Get out off your apartment every few days and go see a movie, get a cup of coffee, go people watching at the park, etc. It’s easy to get depressed if you’re living alone and doing the same things the same way every day- allow yourself to mix it up.

6. Meal prep. It can be stressful and seem useless to cook complicated or “fancy” meals when you’re living on your own. Plan your meals for the week and make a list before going shopping. Get yourself enough food to make a variety of dinners that will only take you fifteen minutes. If you do want to go crazy and make steak and mashed potatoes for yourself, make enough for two meals. Also, nobody is going to think poorly of you for stocking your fridge with a couple frozen dinners.

7. Customer service. Living alone means that you are going to be doing a lot of talking to customer service representatives. Get comfortable talking to people over the phone. Tell the rep what you need as quickly as you can, and try to be polite because customer service at a phone center is a garbage job that doesn’t pay well. On the flip side, don’t be afraid to ask for a manager if you’re upset or unhappy with your service. Take their survey at the end of your phone call, tell them how unhappy you are. It’s someone’s shitty job to look at all those surveys, no complaint goes unheard. Companies with great phone service: Verizon, Apple, Amazon. Companies with awful phone service: USPS (literally the worst), electric companies, health insurance companies.

8. Guest space. This is not required, but it’s a good idea to have some sort of space for a friend to stay the night. A friend of mine had a bad breakup, showed up at my apartment with ten minute’s notice, and then fell asleep on my couch after an hour of crying. It as 7:30! Whatever, she needed it. Keep an extra blanket and pillow in your closet, I like to keep travel sized shampoos and conditioners in my bathroom cabinet on the off chance a guest wants to use my shower. I got these at a hotel for free, but they’re available at CVS and other pharmacies.

9. Toilet paper. Don’t let yourself run out of toilet paper! I like to buy more when I notice I only have one roll left. The same deal goes for paper towels.

10. Enjoy. Living on your own is simoltaneously exciting and exhausting, but an all around must-have experience. Enjoy the freedom to forget to make the bed, to decorate your bathroom however you want, to have ice cream for dinner, to watch reruns of Friends and cry when Rachel decides to move to France. Make sure to give yourself lots of space to move at your own pace, but please remember to eat three meals a day and to go to the doctor’s for a checkup at least once a year!

You know what I find really cool about Static Shock in Re-watch?

It’s the fact that he’s such a fanboy for Black heroes.

I remember the episode where he meets Anansi, and he blatantly states that it was nice to see a hero who looked like him doing good. Because there wasn’t a lot of them where he came from. 

Here’s the dialog:

Static to Anansi in “Static In Africa”

Virgil: I never knew how important it was to meet a role model like you.”

Anansi: “Role Model?”

Virgil: “Yeah, a Black superhero. I dunno, it validates me somehow.”

Anansi: “Heroes come in every color my friend.”

Virgil: “I know, it’s just sometimes I wish there was a Black superhero back home for folks to look up to.”

Anansi: “Oh but there is, and he is my hero too.”

Notice how Virgil said “Validates” 

I remember the episode where Static not only admitted to being a Green Lantern fan (which was Fallen Hero) but he also admitted that sometimes he pretends to be Green Lantern when no one was around (and this episode was called “Jump”)

And then there was “Blast From the Past” where he met Soul Power and gained a huge respect for a Black hero (and his sidekick) who came before him. 


I know we all say “Representation Matters” but Static Shock actually showed why it matters, and showed it through the eyes of a superhero less.

And Dwayne McDuffie didn’t bother to mince words, or downplay Virgil’s blackness, or his need for validation through positive representation, for the sake of “colorblindess.” And it’s so nice to see that, especially now when we we’re older and more consciously aware of racial issues. 

OMGCP characters as things my mom has said to me
  • Bitty: It's 3:30 in the morning and you have a sociology report due tomorrow why are you making a cheesecake
  • Jack: Hey could you step away from your hyperfixation for a second and look at this shirt design?
  • Ransom: [as im huddled in a ball under my bed] Is this because of school, the future, moving out, or all of the above?
  • Holster: I'm banning Moana songs from this house and it's all your fault
  • Lardo: If you don't stop drawing on your arms ill tape your fingers together
  • Shitty: WE GET IT, YOU'RE LIBERAL, JUST LET US EAT DINNER IN PEACE FOR ONCE
  • Dex: Did you...did you kick the dishwasher and then fix it BETTER than before you broke it?? ((note: this was a total accident))
  • Nursey: You look like a lesbian hipster in a portland vegan bakery
  • Chowder: If you called me in here just too tell me how nice your friends are AGAIN i'm adopting you off
  • Whiskey: Stop pretending you're cool we all know you cried over the Homeward Bound movie
  • Tango: I'll answer all of your questions about technology back in my day in a second just please for the love of god let me take a bath
  • Ollie&Wicks: How long have you been in the house?? i haven't seen you in like 3 days
  • Ford: You'd be a great politician, you're good at ordering people around and have a face that makes people inherently trust you
  • Johnson: please stop making me think about if i'm real or not while i'm buying toilet paper
  • Kent: You're never gonna get a boyfriend, your only redeemable quality is that cats like you
  • NOTE - im very very gay and like girls a Lot but im still in the closet, which is why these seem so uncharacteristically Hetero™
secret relationship starters

Feel free to alter to fit muses.

  • “I am not ready for them to find out about us!”
  • “It’s cool, [name] promised to cover for me.”
  • “My roommate’s out of town. Want to stay the weekend?”
  • “We’ve got to stop being so careless.”
  • “Look, if we get found out, I could get fired!”
  • “It’s hard to believe you actually care about me when you’re so hellbent on keeping this from all your friends.”
  • “I can’t tell them! Do you have any idea how they’d react?”
  • “Jesus, with all this sneaking around, it’s like being closeted all over again.”
  • “We have to tell them sooner or later.”
  • “Let’s tell them the truth. Tonight.”
  • “I’m only dating [name] as a cover. You’re still my baby.”
  • “[Name] agreed to ‘date’ me until we’re ready to tell everyone.”
  • “Are you ashamed of me?”
  • “I spent two hours hiding underneath your bed until they left!”
  • “Shit! Someone’s coming! Get in the closet, get in the closet!”
  • “Let’s just tell them! What’s the worst that could happen?”
  • “No one can know about us.”
  • “Let’s just keep this between us for now, okay?”
  • “People wouldn’t like it if they knew, you know that.”
  • “I’m not ashamed of you, I’m just not ready to tell anyone yet.”
  • “You still haven’t told your parents about us? But you promised!”
  • “It’s kind of fun, having a secret.”
  • “Let’s go out of town. Somewhere where nobody knows us.”
  • “Yeah, so… I may have accidentally told [name] about us…”
  • “I don’t care what you do, just get [name] to promise to keep quiet. Pay them if you have to.”
  • “I’m tired of being your dirty little secret!”
  • “Once I break up with [name], then we tell people.”
  • “But you’re going to divorce them soon, right?”
  • “This isn’t a relationship! Relationships don’t involve one party climbing down a fire escape because the other is too ashamed to admit they’re dating them!”
  • “Okay, fine, but can I at least tell [name]?”
  • “If I don’t tell someone, I’m going to go crazy!”
  • “Shhh, be quiet. Remember, someone’s still downstairs…”
  • “Fuck it. Let’s get a motel.”
  • “Either we’re open about this, or I’m ending it.”
  • “When I said I liked you, I didn’t expect to be sneaking around all the time.”
  • “I can’t do this anymore.”
  • “Why haven’t you told your friends about me? Is it because I’m not as well-off as you are?”
  • “This was fun at first, but the novelty’s worn off.”
  • “It just feels really shitty, to be the secret boyfriend/girlfriend.”
  • “Look, either we date secretly, or we don’t date at all.”
  • “I’m not supposed to be dating, period!”
  • “If my parents found out about us, they’d go ballistic.”
  • “Just one more year until I’m out from under their roof and I can date whoever the hell I want.”
  • “Dating in secret never works out.”
  • “Where are we even supposed to go for our dates?”
  • “Just once, I’d like us to go on a date that didn’t end in us having to get a motel room out of town because we don’t want to get caught.”
exo as the types of people you see at the gym

xiumin: 

• very serious about the gym

• has two drink bottles: protein shake in one and water in the other

• sweats very easily and a lot 

• everyone admires him, he’s a favourite at the gym

• makes burpees look easy

• coaches others sometimes

CrossFitter

suho: 

• wears the top brands of sportswear

• squats for days

• gives encouragement to everyone around him

• starts a conversation each time he’s on the treadmill with the person next to him

• tried lifting more than he was capable to, got stuck under the bar. Very embarrassed when two other people had to help him out.

• enjoys the steam room

• muscles are always very sore the next day (always overdoes it)

yixing: 

• forgot his earphones 

• forgot his towels

• helps spot for other people

• irritated when people don’t put the equipment back in its original place

• assists the new gym members in using the equipment

• cleans up the area he used to its original appearance before leaving

checks himself out in the change room mirror

chanyeol:

• tank top, shorts + 1L water bottle

• focuses more on weights than anything else

• forgets leg day

• hogs the weights by exercising in front of the weight rack

• dropped a dumbbell on his foot

• grunts + yells when lifting weights or doing pull ups

• does bicep curls in front of a mirror. Counts out loud

baekhyun: 

• reluctant to come to the gym

• but he doesn’t want to waste his gym membership that he spent money on

• places a muffin in the water bottle holder on the running machines

• spends more time on his phone whilst he hogs a machine

• social butterfly

• uses equipment, doesn’t put it back properly

• once he breaks a sweat, he’s done. Flexes and takes a photo for instagram before he leaves. #sunsoutgunsout  #nopainnogain #newyearnewme

chen:

• arrives to the gym with his squad

• multiple workout playlists ready on his phone that’s on his armband

• sings as he workouts 

• makes pull ups look easy

• starts dancing on the treadmill sometimes

• fell once when he accidentally increased the speed of the treadmill too much

• takes a picture with his friends before leaving the gym #squadgoals

kyungsoo:

• does his own thing, very quiet and minds his own business

• shy about his body, wears long sleeved t shirts plus trackies

• overheats when working out. Takes many breaks to cool down

• prefers pilates + yoga

• interested in trying new equipment/machines. Too shy to ask how

• gets flustered when people compliment him and gives him encouragements

• thanks all the trainers before leaving

kai:

• “can my dogs come into the gym? it’s hot outside”

• shows up wearing jeans???

• attends many zumba classes

• became an assistant coach for his zumba classes

• lays down for a rest between each workout. falls asleep sometimes

• most of his exercise comes from walking/running with his dogs to the gym 

• “I exercised today, I will treat myself”. Eats 30 chicken nuggets at KFC

sehun:

• didn’t come at his own will, he accompanies his friends as a gym buddy

• distracts his friends by mocking them and taking selfies with them for his snapchat/instagram story

• plays with the equipment/machines since he doesn’t know how to use them

• secretly judges everyone at the gym. checks out the girls though

• brought snacks to eat 

• on his phone for most of the time, occasionally gives encouragement to his buddies

• banned from two gyms in town already

4

I wouldn’t want to live this life without my best friend @dinoshade 🤘🏾

Left: both pre T
Right: Kai is 4 months, I’m 8 months

dating Peter Parker would include…

  • study dates all the time
  • him being clingy as fuckkc
  • “can we have a movie marathon?”
  • “sure but we watches sta-”
  • “sTAR WARRRRRRRRRRS”
  • fight me on this
  • but making out and getting caught by Aunt May or Tony or even Ned
  • “wow, hi, knocking is cool amiright?”
  • stealing each other’s food 99.9% of the time
  • cuddling every second second of every day
  • laying in between his legs during the school day to study
  • getting detention for it
  • being best friends with Ned
  • Peter would come during the nights to ask for your help on something
  • like Chemistry or Algebra homework
  • lowkey not understanding a lot of it
  • compliment city, population two.
  • “you’re so pretty.”
  • “you look nice.”
  • “you’re laugh is beautiful”
  • and the cute little let names oh mY GOD
  • sunshine™
  • babygirl™
  • darling™
  • love™
  • make out sessions when he’s stressed
  • meeting Tony after the first date
  • “how long has this been going on? a month? you talked about her for a long time and you just now started dating?”
  • pedicures when you’re frustrated with school
  • fights about him being spiderman
  • not all the time but sometimes
  • little pda
  • hand holding, small kisses, hugs; that’s it
  • agreeing to have sex when you’re older bc you caNT have a baby
  • Tony giving the both of you the talk
  • deciding that you would never speak nor touch each other when at the tower or around Tony.
  • breaking the agreement and making out in the room meant for Peter
  • Vision coming through a wall when he hears Peter moaning
  • almost jumping out of your skin because nO
  • getting another talk, this time from Steve
  • never returning to the tower
  • that’s a lie
  • you would go back bc it’s a fun place
  • just a overall cute relationship full of people walking in at inappropriate times
In terms of relating to [the harsh criticsm Taylor gets], of course I relate to things being written about us all the time. But I don’t listen to it. I rate her as an artist. I think she’s cool, I think she’s successful, and I think she deserves her success because she’s worked hard. That’s just how I look at it, I did a song with her, it was fun, she was professional. She gets on with my girlfriend, they’re good friends. I don’t have a bad word to say about her. She’s cool.
—  Zayn on Taylor, following their shared VMA and the criticsm she’s facing, from FADER

watched p&p with a group of friends who had never seen it before and i honestly had to hide my crazy a little bit because i just wanted to shout out random facts like “look it begins and ends with a sunrise” or  “pay close attention to the evolution of darcy’s outfits and how they correlate to his feelings for elizabeth” and literally quote the movie verbatim but you know, i had to play it cool

WHAT THE SIGNS MEAN TO ME?☀️

Aries; you are an old friend, maybe a boy who I will love forever. My first love. Every time i’m around you I can’t help but smile and laugh.

Taurus; the most down to earth person I will ever know, your are like nature itself. Unpredictable but beautiful

Gemini; we hung out, I thought it went amazing. We laughed so much, I couldn’t stop smiling all day. But you never texted me again, and I felt lost.

Cancer; you are someone I will always look up to, a person who has heart. You know when something is wrong and will do anything to stop it. I respect you.

Leo; I try to convince myself you are someone genuine, but you never prove it. It’s always about you, I know you’re kind, however you will always put yourself before others.

Virgo; you are so relatable, I always find myself happiest when i’m with you. I feel like I can be anyone, you’re not afraid of judgement and I love that.

Libra; most social friend, you’re so cute. You’re not scared to stand out or to speak up and that’s pretty cool. I think you’re a box of fun.

Scorpio; I can tell you anything, you get along with everyone really well but you don’t see it. You don’t realise how beautiful you actually are, that mysterious side will always intrigue me.

Sagittarius; where do I even start? You’re so god dammn annoying I can’t help but love you, you look for truth behind everything. Never afraid to say what you want, the question “Why?” will be forever with you.

Capricorn; the most organised person I know, you will always be one of my close friends. You try to please everyone and I know it gets to you, you’re amazing whenever. So stop worrying.

Aquarius; you’re that person who has everything, the looks, the personality. But sometimes you lack heart, amazing and funny but no passion.

Pisces; you’re so timid, you have anxiety over everything. But you’re beautiful and pure, I just want to protect you and make you tough. This world is too harsh for you.


reblog on what the signs mean to you, if you want. i love seeing different interpretations

[translation] SMTOWN JAPAN OFFICIAL UPDATE 2017.08.18 - NCT

Johnny -> Chicago’s long legs. Chicago’s representative physicals!!
Taeyong -> A girl ♡ Dainty and must be treated with a lot of care ♡
Doyoung -> Broad shoulders! Cute guy with broad shoulders and he speaks well~
Jaehyun -> White! He does everything diligently. A cute boy with a fair skin~ ♡
Mark -> Hard-worker. No matter when he’s at full force!
Ten -> Happy. Even if he’s far away I get his happy energy. A cute boy whose smile is his charm
Jeno -> Very polite, good mannered, cool Jeno. Manliest of men ♡
Jisung -> Dancing Machine! The ever so free and my pace NCT’s maknae.
Chenle -> Mischievous kid. He’s mischievous no matter where he is.
Renjun -> Renjun who sings and dances well~ ^^
Haechan -> ☀︎ He’s not afraid of anything. A mood maker who listens well.
Winwin -> A fearless 9 year old. Cute ~~^^
Yuta -> YUTA. I love your comedy

Johnny’s ???????? please infer them yourselves..

Johnny -> Gentleman
Taeil -> An adult Crayon Shinchan
Doyoung -> My bro
Jaehyun -> My bro
Mark -> NCT’s swagger MARK!
Ten -> Dancing Machine
Jeno -> Our serious Jeno
Jisung -> Our maknae
Chenle -> Cute CHENLE!
Renjun -> Refreshing!
Haechan -> HAECHAN the Moodmaker who has become mature.
Winwin -> Innocent number 1
Yuta -> Friend from Osaka~

Keep reading

The first time I tried to come out to someone I was ten years old and in primary school.
I told a person who was supposed to be one of my best friends. She listened.
The next day when I came to school she had told the twins; my other friends and they all laughed at me and avoided me for days on end. I knew there was something wrong with me then, see!?? So I told them I was just joking and of course I didn’t like girls that way, I’M NOT GAY!
The next time I tried, I told my cousin, my other best friend. She didn’t say a lot about it and just kind of changed the subject. The next time I saw her she asked me if I was being serious with a screwed up look on her face that hit me in the gut like disgust. I felt so sick, am I sick?! There is something so wrong with me. I told her no, of course I wasn’t, I’M NOT GAY, NO REALLY, DEFINITELY!
I started high school desperately trying to be cool, to be normal, to just fit in, why couldn’t I be like all of them? Every now and then someone in the halls would call me a fucking lesbian. It took me right back to those laughs that I heard when I was ten. I was still friends with the same girls who’s laugher haunted me and one night I slept over at their house. They had a brother who was a couple of years older and I thought I might have had a crush on him. It was juvenile wishful thinking. I ended up in his room with the door closed, in the darkness putting his dick in my mouth. After that I asked if I could go home because I was homesick - but I was just sick, I didn’t like anything about him or his dick. I felt so empty and so alone knowing that I was not normal, I was not like any of them. I sat in the bathtub with the door locked at 1am brushing my teeth and trying to erase the stain of what happened.
I came to school on Monday, and people were looking at me. They were talking behind hands and snickering. Someone had told someone and then someone told everyone and they all knew. My mind flew out the second story window in math as a girl passed me a note telling me I was gross and a fucking slut. If anything I thought it would shut them all up? Isn’t that what normal girls do, they like boys and they don’t leave their balls blue?! I had no idea what in the fuck I was supposed to do.
I drifted away from them all, I’d still see them in the halls but we hardly ever talked anymore. I found out that there were certain boys that stayed seperate from the jocks, and their flocks, so I started hanging out with them. They didn’t really care about much of anything and for once I felt a tiny bit of what I thought was belonging. Of course I engaged in ridiculous dating charades where I was one of their girlfriends. We’d occasionally kiss and hold hands and that was it, and I thought it might finally look like I fit. But I still heard it, from time to time “HEY DYKE, ARE YOU A LEMON OR A LIME?” I’d just put my head down and hide. I’d hide behind my boyfriend who was sweet and kind and dopey and gentle, even though most days he kind of drove me mental.
One day there was a new guy at school, I saw him before roll call in the hall and thought he looked cool. Later that day in science, he was sitting opposite me, and I smiled, he smiled back. We’re still friends and it’s about fourteen years down the track - how did we get to that? Well…
The next time I came out it was to him, and he told me he was the same as me. Of course I chose to come out under the label of bisexuality, because I still thought guys were kind of cute and it provided me with a shield of a certain safety and half normality. He didn’t flinch or cringe or look at me with hate, he just said he was the same, and my shame started to deflate a little. I started to breathe full breaths for the first time in so long, and I started to believe maybe I wasn’t so fucking wrong.
The next time I tried to come out to somebody I was sixteen and it was my mother. I’d spent years in torture and isolation trying to figure myself out, who I really was, what it was all about. I told her I was bi and she was quiet for a while. After I prompted her for a response she said “but how do you know?” with a condescending smile. She told me I was young, and that I hadn’t even slept with anyone so how could I possibly know what I am?? Rage is the only thing I could feel at that stage, HOW COULD I KNOW WHAT I AM? The same way you knew you weren’t what I am, that’s how. I’ve spent years hating myself for being this way, and this is the stupidity I’m faced with now? Like I had just flippantly decided that I would announce something I wasn’t even sure of? I was floored, and thus thereafter the topic was purposefully ignored. The silence said all I needed to know, this was something I just wasn’t supposed to show, it’s just one of those things that was a no go. Certain people could be trusted with my secret, the thing that people didn’t seem to want to see, but I had to be very careful about who that would be.
So I shut it down and compartmentalised my difference and tried to survive. Three years went by before I opened that door again, to a trusted friend. I never intended to tell her, but she asked me in a way that seemed so tender, there were no teeth waiting to bite me, and even though it frightened me I told her. She didn’t even care, she was just curious, maybe she was questioning things in herself like some of us do. That was the first time I really knew that I wasn’t my shame and I wasn’t my pain and I wasn’t some thing to be hidden away. I decided then to be more open. To live authentically and do what felt right for me. But I still remained private about it unless asked explicitly - then I would answer as honestly as I knew how, because truthfully I’m still figuring all of it out. I’ve learned so much about diversity and gender and sexual identity and sometimes I find the right words that seem to fit, and other times the pressure of a label exhausts me and I get sick of it.
Sick of trying to classify myself under certain banners, sick of people asking things without any thought of manners.
I know on the grand spectrum of things I am not at all like them, I fall somewhere else along the Kinsey scale. Maybe that means in a way I fail the people like me, because I can’t cement things or write it in concrete and sign it to make it complete. Or that sometimes I still find myself in certain situations where I’m being discreet, holding my candour for fear of ramifications and slander. Maybe I’m not full of pride, maybe because for so long all I could do was hide. This makes me feel so guilty, I should be proud of who I am unapologetically! Not just for me but for the sake of visibility, so that maybe more people can see - we aren’t wrong, we don’t have any agenda other than to be able to be! Just to be; to live with an open vulnerability and tranquility and to be able to do it safely!! I’m sorry, that I could not join in on the pride but maybe you’ll know why; it’s hard to celebrate something that for most of your life you’ve had to justify to people, to justify to yourself, for most of your life you’ve carefully withheld.
— 

“Internalised Homophobia - Where Is My Pride?”

Pride month is such a wonderful thing and I know it is over now but it inspired me to share this. It’s intensely personal, not very well written and lengthy, but I wanted to be able to share some of my experiences regarding this topic. In no way do I speak for the whole LGBT+ community in this post and it’s simply a personal journey that I wrote out for catharsis. 

kaluv888  asked:

Hi! This blog is a life saver haha! I have a little question; I'm going to be looking for apartments soon and it's my first time ever being away from home,,, is there anything I should look out for in general? Thank you!

Hey I’m so glad I’m helping! I have been meaning to write a post of this nature for a long time, so thank you for asking. Here. We. Go.

Apartment Hunting 101

Overview: There’s no getting around it, apartment hunting is a stressful process. The waiting and wondering gets the best of everyone, so give yourself a break and remember not to be too hard on yourself. The more prepared and decisive you are, the better off you’ll be!

1. Step One: The most important step in this entire process is coming up with your list of “Need and Won’t”. This list can always be adjusted in the spur of the moment, but will act as a baseline to help you easily disregard impractical apartments. Before you even start your search, sit down with any roommates (SO or otherwise) and come up with a list. Here is my list:

  • Need: Dishwasher, pet friendly, heat included.
  • Won’t: First floor apartment, all or mostly carpeted apartment, no closet space.

2. Step Two: Decide your price range. The paycheck to paycheck life is not a great one to live, so try to find an apartment that still allows you to put anywhere from $100-$500 into savings every month. Figure out how much you make monthly, with taxes taken out. If you’re paid every other week, this is two paychecks. If you’re paid every week, this is four paychecks. Start with your total monthly income, and subtract the following expenses. Let’s say you make $1,000 with taxes taken out:

  • Rent - Let’s say you’re living with a roommate, and your rent is only $500 per month.
  • Electric - My electric expense is $60 a month for a one bedroom. Once again, you’re living with a roommate so let’s say that you pay half of that. $30.
  • Internet - $30 a month internet only. Please don’t waste your money on cable. Just use your mom’s Netflix account.
  • Travel expenses - I spend about $85 a month on gas. Let’s say you use public transportation and spend around $100.
  • Food - Figure you’ll be spending $100 per person each month. So that’s another $100.
  • Misc expense: Let’s just add an additional $50 worth of expenses on. Because you never know what’ll happen.

That leaves you $130 a month extra to put in savings or to use in the event of an emergency! That’s awesome. Substitute your own numbers in, and figure out how much you can afford for rent. Immediately disregard any apartments that do not fit in this budget.

3. Step Three: The best way to find dependable apartments is to consult with your fellow apartment renters. Consult with coworkers, friends, family- anyone who is currently renting in the area that you would like to rent in. Get the inside scoop on potential apartments, both their advantages and their pitfalls. If you don’t know anyone who is renting where you’d like to rent, here are some other apartment hunting options:

  • Craigslist: Obviously
  • Drive-bys: Literally drive around until you find a cool looking apartment complex. Find their rental office and go right in, this is how I found my first apartment.
  • Your college: The Dean’s Office will have a list of apartment offerings to give kids who don’t qualify for on-campus housing.
  • This Site: A list of the top ranked apartment hunting sites.

4. Set up an appointment: After finding a potential apartment, consult with the landlord or apartment representative to set up a date and time to see the apartment. Respond promptly to any email or phone call they leave for you. On the flip side, if they aren’t prompt in their response to you RUN.

The first apartment I ever looked at, my boyfriend and I showed up on time and the landlord wasn’t there. We called her and she said that she was running late, and told us that the apartment was open and we could show ourselves inside. Serious red flag, but we gave it the benefit of the doubt and went in. Long story short, she never showed up. She gave us a tour of the apartment over the phone and kept saying that she was five minutes away, but never came. We later found out that her rental office was two minutes from the apartment we looked at. Talk about flakey! We told her we weren’t interested, if she can’t even show up to show us the apartment, how the hell can we depend on her to fix any problems we might have? Because you’re young and inexperienced, some landlords will try to give you the run around. Your age is no concern of their’s, and has no bearing on how you will act as a tenant. Here are some red flags for flaky landlords:

  • Not contacting you within one day of leaving them a message. Disregarding the weekends.
  • Not showing up when they say they will.
  • Repeatedly telling you that you’re “young” or “inexperienced”.
  • Telling you that the apartment “is good for college kids” or “a good first apartment” (that just means it’s a shit hole).
  • If they tell you that the apartment has a large turnover (people are leaving for a reason).
  • If you speak with one person on the phone, and meet a different person who shows you the apartment.
  • If they can’t or refuse to give you the exact rent amount.
  • If they tell you that have to “run some numbers” based on your history. An apartment’s rent should be the same for everybody.
  • If they can’t answer basic questions about service providers for the apartment.
  • If you get a weird vibe from them. Listen to your intuition! This is the person who is going to be responsible for fixing all your apartment related problems, you will be dealing with them every month at least. If they seem unreliable, don’t sign the lease!

5. Step Five: Find your appointment buddy! Never, ever, EVER go to look at a potential apartment by yourself. I don’t care how friendly Wendy seems online, she may be a serial killer. There’s no way to tell. Here’s a list of people who can accompany you:

  • Your older brother
  • Your boyfriend/girlfriend
  • Your Aunt Meredith
  • Your second cousin
  • Your friend who can scream really loudly
  • Your Mother
  • Your Step Mother
  • Your old nosey neighbor who smells like cats
  • Literally anyone you can trust

Bribe them with chocolate, I don’t care. Take someone with you! If you absolutely cannot find anyone to go with you, then you need to take additional precautions. Here are some options:

  • Kitestring
  • “Share My Location” on your Iphone
  • Pepper Spray
  • Posting to Facebook the address you are going to and when you are expected to arrive and leave.
  • Rescheduling your appointment to a date and time when you can be accompanied

Checklist

A mental checklist is good in theory, but will you remember it when you’re actually at the prospective apartment with your Aunt Meredith? I think not! Make a physical list of some of the following points, and feel free to add your own. my list is super extensive, but that’s just who I am. I am detail oriented.


Tuck this list in your back pocket and consult it when the person showing you the apartment is not looking.

Expense related

  • How much is the rent?
  • Is the rent just the rent, or are there any amenities included? Some apartments include heat, hot water, or electric expenses.
  • Is hot water included (if the apartment has a washer/dryer in it, then the water is probably a separate expense)?
  • What Internet service providers are available?
  • What electric service providers are available?
  • Do I have to pay for garbage removal?
  • What is the average electric expense that other renters deal with?
  • Ask when rent is due. Find out what the rent check procedure is.

Basic

  • What type of heating/cooling is provided?
  • What appliances are in the kitchen? *If there is no oven or fridge and you are required to buy your own then run*
  • What is the apartment complex turnover rate?
  • Do you have a choice of carpet vs. hard wood floors?
  • Will window blinds be provided? *If the apartment complex won’t pay for something as simple as window blinds then the landlord is a cheapskate and can’t be trusted*
  • Is there a “curfew”? Most apartments have a time of night when all the tenants are supposed to be quiet. This is generally not enforced.
  • What will your address be?

Additional

  • Is any furniture included?
  • Is there a Laundromat in the complex? If not where is the closest one?
  • Similarly, is the Laundromat in the complex card operated or quarter operated? Do you have to pay a fee for the card? Is there a quarter dispensing machine?
  • Will you be given a free parking permit? *If parking is not free then run*
  • Ask about local shopping and gas stations.
  • Ask where your mailbox will be.
  • Ask what their pet policy is. (some apartment complexes charge an fee)
  • Ask what their policy on repainting/decorating is.
  • Ask what their maintenance request policy is.
  • Ask where the nearest dumpster is.
  • How often does the complex loose power?
  • Is there a nearby police station or fire department?

General check

  • Check all cabinets (for bug infestations or mouse droppings or that they open properly).
  • Open all the windows and check to see that there are screens installed. Especially important for us cat owners! If there are no screens- are they going to install screens before you move in?
  • Check that all the light switches work.
  • Check that the water turns on.
  • Flush the toilet.
  • Check all the closet space (for size, mold, and water damage).
  • Check how all the doors are set (some apartments will put doors in incorrectly and they’ll never close properly).
  • Check the outlets (bring a phone chord and plug it in).
  • Check any balcony access.
  • Take a look at the paint- is it chipped? Is it stained? Will they be repainting?
  • Knock on the walls to see how hollow they are (hollow walls require studs if you want to hang anything up).
  • Open up the oven and make sure it’s clean. If it’s not clean make it clear that it should be cleaned if you want to move into the apartment. It’s not your job to clean up after the previous tenant.
  • Check that none of the floorboards are sticking up/creaking.
  • Check for nails and screws in between hardwood floor, tile and carpet (I’m not even kidding).
  • Check your phone to see how much cell service you have.
  • Can you hear any neighbors? Could you hear them in the hallway?

Final Decision

If the apartment you visited fits all your criteria, feel free to tell the landlord that you’re interested in pursuing this apartment. This way they can advise you of the next steps. Before you sign ANYTHING, visit the apartment complex twice more to make sure that everything is kosher. Do NOT tell the landlord that you will be coming by.

  • During the day: Do a drive-by of your prospective apartment to see what it looks like during the day. Is it safe? Are there lots of people standing around outside? Is it loud?
  • During the night: Come back another night to check the safety of your apartment. Ask yourself- would I feel comfortable taking the trash out late at night? Having friends over? If the answer is “no” then run…

Additional Resources

Apartment Setup: My post that briefly outlines locating, checking out, and setting up a new apartment. Also has some next steps that I’m not going over in this post. It’s pretty good if I do say so myself!

Apartment Hunting 101: A list of helpful resources all relating to locating and checking out potential apartments. Some of the links aren’t set up correctly, so you will need to copy and paste them into a new browser.

NYC Renters: This post is designed for NYC Renters, but the points are still valid even if you’re not renting in NYC. A must read!

Stuff Nobody Tells You: I love love LOVE @hipdomestic so much! They haven’t posted anything recently, but this blog is an incredible resource. Check out this post that really goes into depth about apartments.