I have a question about transgender body positivity. I'm a later transitioner and have several features (wide shoulders, thinning hair, large hands and feet) which are considered masculine. Celebrations of trans women generally don't include women who look like me, and instead center around trans women who most closely line up with conventional beauty standards. This reinforces the idea that I'm defective and "not good enough," which is distressing. How do I tell myself it's okay to be me?
For me this starts with doing the work that helps me to feel most comfortable in my own skin, that reminds me that I have worth and dignity. We can’t compare ourselves to anyone else – there is no right way to be trans, the only prerequisite for being trans is not identifying with the gender that you were assigned at birth. It is important that this knowing is bolstered by the support we get from being surrounded by a community of likeminded individuals who will lift you up and celebrate ALL of you. Having people who reflect and mirror us is so important.
I think you affirm your gender by participating in activities that make you feel the most you. Whether it’s through clothing, or makeup, or relationships, or connecting to one’s self spiritually – it’s about affirming your gender in whatever ways feel best for you.