look at your life look at your choices

Descendants characters as Hamilton quotes
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>Mal:</b> I am the one thing in life I can control, I am inimitable, I am an original<p/><b>Evie:</b> isn't this enough? What would be enough?<p/><b>Carlos:</b> you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind<p/><b>Jay:</b> I've seen injustices in the world and I've corrected it<p/><b>Ben:</b> they are asking me to lead. I'm doing the best I can<p/><b>Lonnie:</b> you wanna revolution? I wanna revelation!<p/><b>Uma:</b> Don’t be shocked when your hist’ry book mentions me<p/><b></b> I will lay down my life if it sets us free<p/><b></b> Eventually, you’ll see my ascendancy<p/><b></b><p/><b>Harry:</b> <p/></p> some men say that I'm intense or I'm insane<p/><b>Gill:</b> I'm a general! Weeee!<p/><b>Dizzy:</b> helpless, I look into your eyes and the sky's the limit<p/><b>Chad:</b> awesome. Wow.<p/></p>

VIRGO: So, you’re finally figuring out where the pieces of your life are supposed to fit together and ‘relief’ is a bit of an understatement. There was a time in which your existence felt a lot like trying to finish a puzzle while blindfolded: all of the parts within reach yet, still so far away. But you kept going and you found yourself again and I hope that you’re proud. I hope that when you go to sleep at night you feel comfortable with your decisions and all of the things you’ve been strong enough to overcome. I can’t promise that you won’t find yourself faced with broken things in need of fixing again, but I can promise that you’ll be able to put it back together. You always do.

LIBRA: It seems like every time you leave the house nowadays you brace yourself for impact, which is another way of saying that you’ve had to abandon being soft in order to survive. You’ve had to use your voice to ask for things that your earlier self would’ve shoved under the carpet. And while that’s definitely something to be proud of, the strength you’ve found within yourself, don’t let that close you off to all of the joy that accompanies being kind and open. It’s possible to stand your ground with open palms; asking for what you deserve and embracing the gentler aspects of life aren’t mutually exclusive. They never will be unless you let them.

SCORPIO: I know that it’s hard to refrain from comparing yourself to every person you meet, but you have to remember that not everybody has had the same background as you. Not everybody understands the feeling that comes with being told you’re not good enough, or the feeling of realizing that the people you thought were friends had been bringing you so far down that your back was flat against the floor. You haven’t fallen behind or lost your way just because you’ve had to take a few detours in order to find yourself. You’re trying your best, and your best is more than good enough. Someday you’ll be grateful that you kept on fighting.

SAGITTARIUS: Recently you felt the spark that can only ever mean something is beginning; it’s unfortunate that sometimes this also indicates that another thing is ending. And while that’s typically sad, an event you’re bound to mourn, every closed door is an opportunity to turn yourself around and have an experience that you wouldn’t normally. Eras will end as you continue to grow into yourself, and that doesn’t mean that they’re THE end. Be self-aware and work some more on loving yourself as you embrace these fresh starts and their accompanying lifestyle changes; there’s nothing shameful about being a fan of yourself.

CAPRICORN: One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to learn is that sometimes people leave and there isn’t a reason or a motive behind it, they just go. And that doesn’t mean that you did anything to instigate this, or that you push where others pull; it just means that because of whatever external reason, something wasn’t quite right. There’s no reason to make lists of all the people that you feel you’ve driven away when there are others beside you that are supportive, wanting only to shower you in the affection that you dole out so generously. The way that your peers choose to exit your life is always going to be a choice that they make themselves. You are not a burden.

AQUARIUS: You don’t have to treat every beautiful thing that waltzes into your path as if it’s temporary, bound to disappear as soon as you look away. I know that it’s hard to take good fortune with anything other than a grain of salt after everything you’ve lost, but perpetually being in a state of worry when you have no reason to be so is ridiculous. Your potential for happiness is so much greater than you’re allowing yourself to have. There aren’t limits or rules when it comes to the progress you make and the people you invite into your life. If you spend all of your time walking on eggshells, you’ll never able to leave your mark. Be bold. Be genuine.

PISCES: You’ve been taking happy vibes to the next level lately and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I know occasionally you start thinking that maybe you don’t deserve to be feeling this light, or that there are more pressing aspects of your life that you should be devoting your attention to, but what you’re doing right now is more than okay. It’s encouraged, in fact. Try not to hold yourself to a higher standard than you would hold the people that you love to. The perfectionist that shows up within you very once in awhile to make unnecessary comments about your progress isn’t the boss of you, you’re the boss of it. Allow yourself to be happy without any strings attached.

ARIES: It always takes time to adjust to a situation that you’ve never been in before, especially when you’re doing it all by yourself. Don’t forget that you’ve seen and conquered cities much bigger than this one. I know that everything in you wants to make a snap judgement regarding whether or not you like the direction you’re walking in, but try to refrain from doing so too soon as it could change your perception of an otherwise lovely experience. Give this road a chance before re-routing and switching courses altogether. Listen to your gut, you know more than anybody else what will benefit you most in the long run.

TAURUS: Are your days really blurring together, or are you so afraid of feeling something new that you’re hiding behind the safety of monotony? Sure, you’re stuck in more than a couple of ways, nobody’s denying that you’ve faced more than your share of quicksand. But something you should consider is how your actions play into that. I think there’s a sort of comfort in being stationary, as you know exactly what to expect, but I also think that you deserve a better quality of life than you’re currently getting and some of the responsibility for changing that rests on your shoulders. Try something new this month and see what happens next.

GEMINI: The heat of summer has peaked and descended and you’re finally able to leave the house without getting burned. This means that it’s time to refamiliarize yourself with your surroundings, because in the midst of life and all its trials I think you’ve forgotten about what’s in front of you. Examining the ground that your feet touch day after day, with eyes that are wise and observant and actually looking, can lead to revelations about yourself. I know that you’ve felt the holes in your life as of late and you’ve been looking for something to fill them, and the materials to do this are closer than you think. You might already be holding them.

CANCER: It’s really easy to overthink your choices when you’ve become accustomed to exposing the soft parts of yourself only to be handled roughly and without the right amount of care. And yet despite your history of hurt you’re still choosing to try again, which says a lot more about you than other people’s actions ever could. Nobody is going to hate you for laying bare your heart and soul, and if they do then that means they don’t deserve to see it anyways. You are allowed to feel proud of your accomplishments and you’re allowed to be vocal about it. Don’t be hesitant with self praise and accepting it from others. Everyone’s rooting for you.

LEO: Your environment lately has been hectic, to say the least, and that’s starting to take a toll on you more than you can probably see. I know that it feels as though you don’t have time to take a break, and that in order to cross-off every task on your never-ending to-do list you need to constantly be on the run, but that’s just your anxiety talking. While time is a constant wave that we’re all riding, that doesn’t mean you can’t lay back and enjoy the view as you float. Caring for yourself will never be detrimental to your progress, as the health of your mind and body are crucial when it comes to success. Give yourself a break for not being a superhero.

6

Tom is your Tom problem.

Sweet Tooth (Intro)

Summary: Your best friend is Natasha Romanoff, and she’s known to break hearts of many admirers in her wake. When you start working at a local bakery with a blue-eyed baker who has fallen for her, you do what it takes to make sure they both get the sugary-filled romance they deserve. However, things get a little complicated when your own feelings get in the way.  

Pairing: Baker!Bucky Barnes x Reader AU

Word Count: 1,470

A/N: Oh boy, I guess I’m really writing again haha. This is for @theassetseyeliner’s writing challenge for the prompt “You’re always sitting alone and you’re cute, so I came to sit next to you.” I got inspiration for this story from the anime series Ore Monogatari (My Love Story). I hope you guys enjoy it :)

Originally posted by littlemisssyreid

This is it. You’re going to finally ask your crush out.

During the past semester, the both of you have grown close and your feelings for him blossomed from the first moment you met in your math class. Now, this is your chance to finally reveal your feelings, to finally take your relationship with him to the next level.

Running over to the student center, you walk up the stairs to the campus cafe to meet with him. As you enter the vicinity though, you see him and your best friend, Natasha talking near the entryway. The brunet doesn’t even notice you walking inside as he lets the next words fall from his lips.

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im just so tickled by the idea of Pumpkin being a fat, puffy pomeranian though

2

INKTOBER DAY 1: SWIFT

Skynet!Atem’s swift descent to madness can only be matched by his meteoric ascent to take over the Cloud, Domino City, and the world.

The partner piece to Day 3′s Kaiba. Prideful idiots should do things together, after all.

Learn more about your AI overlord here.


Skynet!Atem wants your beautiful human soul! Tip us ko-fi and be a part of a collective superior consciousness

Confession

“Hi! Can i request a tvd imagine? All smutty with damon being dominant and rough and everything? Thank you :))” “Hi! I was wondering if you could write a damon salvatore imagine (smut ofc!!) Where you two are not together but kind of have a crush on each other. so eventually you end up having rlly rough kinky sex? Pls! ^-^”

A/N: i guess you can say i changed the plot a bit?? SORRY IF ITS NOT KINKY !! WHOOPS ?? (I can’t write kinky smut for shits ????)

You looked at yourself in the mirror, admiring on how well you did on your outfit choice for Girls Night. You twirled yourself so your back was facing the mirror. Shifting your head to look at the mirror, to see the back if the lovely dress Caroline helped you picked out. It wasn’t too short nor too long, hugged your curves perfectly. You felt good. You did your final touches on your hair and makeup before heading out the door. Once your bag and keys were in your hand, you swung your door open, out to have the time of your life with Caroline, Bonnie and Elena.

However, there was a certain someone blocking your way out. “Ah! Y/N I know I’d find you here! Cute little dress.” The raven man cheerfully said, a smirk appearing onto his lips. “Obviously you would, it’s my house.” You laughed. “What do you want Damon? I need to get going somewhere.” As you motioned towards your outfit. You knew the reason why he was here, and you tried every single thing possible to avoid him, not try and make much eye contact as possible. “Well you see Y/N, the thing is, you’re constantly avoiding me.” You were about to protest but he beated you to it. “No, don’t give me ‘I’ve been busy.’ crap, that’s such an overused excuse, sweetheart.” His voice was stern, serious for his answer. “Tell me the truth Y/N please, I’m your fucking friend for christ’s sake!” He nearly shouted, eyes wide, inching closer to you. You didn’t want to tell him why. You knew he would taunt, tease, laugh at your response. You knew he wouldn’t feel the same feelings towards you. “I don’t have to tell you everything Damon, you’re not my dad, or my boyfriend. So please, move out of the way.” You spat at him. Pushing yourself through, though you knew it was no use. You were still just a mortal, where as he was a hundred and something year old vampire; with much experience with his inhuman strength. “No.” Damon simply spoke. He pushed his way into your home, closing the door behind. He pushed you against the closest wall.

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3

Yoda: We’ve gone full asshole and I don’t like it.

Mace: We’ve gone full asshole and I’m not comfortable with it but I sincerely believe this is our best option.

Obi-Wan: We’ve gone full asshole and I feel pretty great about it. It’s the part of the plan I’m most proud of. What could go wrong?

Make a choice Dean

A/N: Story begins in the middle of a hunt.

Warnings: Angst

Make a choice Dean Masterlist

Dean x Sister!Reader    Sam x Sister!Reader

Originally posted by frozen-delight

Originally posted by sammyseyebrows

You and Sam looked around the hallway you were standing in; there was nothing special about it. Just a hallway of what appeared to be an empty factory. Glancing over at Sam, you nodded at each other, silently communicating that you should move.

The two of you were looking for Dean who had been taken by the djinn who fed off of fear. Sam had killed it a day ago but Dean never woke up, which led to where you are now; walking in Dean’s nightmare, trying to find him so that he could wake himself up.

You had just turned the corner when you heard a voice chuckling from what sounded below you. Sam heard it too because he glanced at you before walking to the railing to view what was going on below you.

Your eyes widened as you took in the scene; the dream’s version of you and Sam were each tied to a chair while Dean stood five feet in front of you. A man, a demon with black eyes showing, stood off to the side a few feet away.

“The hell?” You heard Sam say next to you.

“What is going-” You began but stopped when you heard the demon begin to speak.

“Alright Dean, choose. Do you want to save your brother, the one you raised and spent your entire life looking after.” The demon paused, “Or your little half sister who you didn’t even know about until the apocalypse? Your choice.” He said while handing Dean a gun, “You better choose quickly, otherwise I might just kill them both.”

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Blue Skies and Possibilities (Lin/Reader Soulmate AU)

Summary: In a world where you can only see color once you make physical contact with your soulmate, you’re keeping your hands to yourself. Fate has other plans.

Word Count: 8642

Note: Thank you to @the-real-tony-stank for reading this ahead of time and being so sweet and to @thatoneimaginesblog for giving me a cute idea that pops up in here and putting up with a lot of Lin pictures while this got written.


You were in the forest again.

There was light streaming through the trees, and the vivid color of the leaves told you that you were dreaming. You felt a flutter in your stomach and smiled to yourself. If there was color, that meant he would be here. You let your instincts take over and walked swiftly in the direction the creek you’d visited so many times before.

There he was, just like you knew he’d be. He turned to you with a boyish smile on his face and you felt like you had just gotten home after a long trip away. You didn’t have a name to attach to the color of his eyes, but you knew they were deep and familiar. He held out a hand to you and you grabbed it, never knowing how much time you’d have here. Tonight was a lucky one. You spent what felt like an entire summer in the woods, neither of you speaking but somehow communicating anyway.

When you heard a buzzing in the distance, you knew your time was up. You held tight to his hand, but the world around you faded anyway. The feeling of his fingers laced with yours was the last thing to slip away.

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applications for uk universities are coming up in a few months, so i figured i should post the tips i have collected from when i applied (since they’re all just sitting in a word document gathering dust), particularly for the personal statement! we had a talk from an admissions tutor who told us most of the stuff below + i attended 6 open days and picked up a fair few bits along the way (some stuff might be more relevant to sciences/physics)

the personal statement: what??

  • your personal statement is likely your only opportunity to try and ‘sell yourself’ to universities since most courses at most universities don’t interview
  • you send the same one to all your unis (even if you apply to different courses!)
  • 4000 characters and 47 lines limit (you’ll probably hit the line limit first - keep copying and pasting it into UCAS to check this since it’ll probably be a little different to your word processors count). the average is about 500 words

example structure

  • 80% academic, 20% extracurricular is generally a good guide
  • paragraph 1, intro: personal trigger for your interest in the subject you’re applying for! (not just ‘i’ve always been good at it/liked it’) - how your subject relates to society/current affairs if applicable and relevant (you’ll be seeing that word a lot). what aspects of the courses you’re looking forwards to (but don’t accidentally refer to something not done at all your choices) - prove that you know what you’re getting into
  • paragraph 2: what have you done to develop your interest? trips, books, wider reading - both in and out of school/college. link it to your subject! work experience, relevant volunteering. career aspirations - if you have one, put it in! it’s not set in stone just because you wrote it in a personal statement. part time job - skills gained (again, relevant ones), not just facts.
  • e.g. i worked in housekeeping part time => work under time pressure to a high standard and working effectively as part of a team
  • paragraph 3: non academic achievements e.g. duke of edinburgh - again, skills gained. if you’re doing a gap year, why/what are you doing etc - benefits?
  • paragraph 4, summary: short, just a few lines. final impression. recap - this should answer “why do you want to go to university and study your course” and “why do you deserve to be offered a place”. relevant to course - make reference to course choice/area, not generic. career aspirations are good to mention here. can keep it vague-ish for multiple courses, but course area should be clear!
  • this is just an example containing most of the stuff that should be in it - how you break it up doesn’t matter too much as long as it does have a structure (remember line breaks will influence your character/line count!)

good words/phrases

  • rewarding, improved, interested, taking part, reinforced, gained, strengthen, in addition, developed, broadening, hard work, commitment, enhanced, thrive under pressure

long list of advice

  • be concise - characters are limited and you have a lot to say
  • be honest - lying is a. unnecessary and b. will probably come out later
  • remember the person receiving this probably reads thousands, try and keep it interesting
  • organised & structured!
  • persuade the reader that you deserve a place
  • avoid generic statements - everything must be relevant. as much as they may be true, things like “i achieved good grades/always enjoyed this subject previously” are obvious fillers.
  • imagine this is your interview - as i said, you probably won’t get a real one! why do you want to study this, what makes you the right person for this course.
  • DO NOT LIST. don’t do it. expand on everything you put down, make it relevant - what your experiences are isn’t important, what you got from them is.
  • spelling and grammar. check it, check it, check it again - and this must be done by a human, spell checkers don’t notice if you use the wrong word (it’s best to go with a teacher or parent, something like that, not other students or people on the internet - be very careful about sending your personal statement to people online).
  • don’t talk about things that belong in other sections - e.g. how good your grades are (they can already see these), extenuating circumstances (should be explained by your referee in the reference). repeating yourself makes you look desperate to fill space.
  • avoid ambiguity - explain yourself! e.g. ‘i did my gold award’ - in what?!
  • authentic - don’t be pretentious
  • avoid being generic
  • ‘i’m looking forward to having an experience to remember for the rest of my life’ it lasts 3+ years; you’re going to remember it. don’t say it.
  • ‘looking forwards to independence’ - very rarely a choice when you go to uni. virtually everyone else is in the exact same situation here. don’t waste characters on things that aren’t relevant or really important.
  • ‘my family…’ they do not care about your family, they care about you. it is about you.
  • avoid cliches
  • add comments, views and explanations to your points - pretend it’s an english essay or something - making a point by itself gets you no marks
  • use your own experiences - you will have enough, don’t make it up.
  • ‘i’m quite good’ - avoid neutral or passive terms to describe yourself. be positive and show off that you do have these skills!
  • similarly don’t be uncertain - ‘i usually meet deadlines’ is pretty unconvincing
  • don’t play things down!
  • do your research - know which modules you will study in your courses so you can keep things relevant. talk about things you are particularly excited about and why.
  • what have you done outside of the a level course requirements?
  • obviously, don’t mention any of your unis by name or location (or course if they vary)
  • avoid humour: when someone makes a joke in front of a large audience, if they didn’t come to see them make jokes you will notice that maybe half laugh. you don’t know which half the person reading your personal statement will fall into. don’t do it.
  • make connections between interests and courses
  • draft and redraft and redraft until it’s perfect… and then check it over a few more times!
  • … but don’t let the people who check it over for you rewrite it! this must be your personal statement if you want to get anywhere
  • it’s run through sophisticated plagiarism/similarity software by UCAS. don’t write with a friend, don’t get one off the internet.

hopefully some of this helps someone out there, good luck!

Close to You (M)

You’re pulling our connections expecting me to let you go — but I won’t.

SUMMARY: You had met him when you were seven, but you fell in love with him when you were seventeen. He had been everything you’d hoped a loved one should be; until he left. Now that you’ve reached your twenty-first birthday, you’re thrown into a deal that your parents had made when you were just a kid — and that deal involved marrying the same man who had broken your heart so long ago.

GENRE/WARNINGS: Arranged Marriage!AU, Prince!Yuta — filled with angst, fluff, and smut aka my three favorite things.

WORDS: 24.1k.

A/N: I wrote this idea down in my notes and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since so I decided to bring it to life. I apologize for the excessively long length of this… Once I started writing it I couldn’t stop lmao. But I hope you enjoy it, lovebugs!!!

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listen……….if a kid is shipping #yikes ships, i can understand why they might not understand the gross power dynamics and shit until they’re looking back on it later and im not aiming anything at the kids who dont get it yet!!

hopefully, you’ll look back and regret significant portions of your childhood like the rest of us. its cool. yelling at children on the internet achieves nothing.

but if you’re a fucking….Actual Adult……..BUDDY….PAL……AMIGO…….LOOK AT YOUR LIFE…..LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES……

Too Little Too Late

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 1039

↠ Masterlist | ↠ Ask

Originally posted by talk-me-down-troye


“I don’t think I can do this anymore, Yoongi..“

Upon hearing those words coming out of your mouth, Yoongi halted his movements, his grip around his jacket immediately getting tighter.
Squinting his eyes slightly, he tried to find you in the unlit room, spotting your figure sitting on the armchair which was standing near the window, a few inches away from your shared bed, your arms wrapped around your legs as you rested your chin on your knees, observing the deadly silent night sky.

Closing his eyes slowly, he took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. It was too late for this and he was tired as hell. Walking towards his nightstand, he switched his night lamp on, brightening the room with a dimmed light. “Y/N, it’s late, let’s talk tomorrow.“

Throwing his jacket on the floor, he readied himself to get rid of his sweater and pants, happy to be able to lay down and get some sleep after an exhausting, long day.

“When was the last time we talked to each other properly, Yoongi?“

Huffing loudly, Yoongi tucked himself into bed and turned his back to you, answering with a disinterested tone. “Y/N, I’m tired. I’ve had a very long and tiring day, let me sleep.“

Standing up angrily, you hissed. “I’m tired too, Yoongi! I just want to talk to you and be able to share my feelings with you but you’re always ignoring me and telling that you’re tired!“

Taking another deep breath, Yoongi propped himself up, looking into your eyes with his bored ones. “Okay, talk. What is it that you want to talk about? I’m listening.“

You looked at him in disbelief. He wasn’t taking you seriously. He never did. Were you really demanding too much from him? Was it really that hard for him to spare a just little bit time out of his hectic life for you? You laughed sarcastically; apparently it was.

“I think we should break up, Yoongi.“

Throwing his head back with a groan, he stood up from your shared bed. “Not again this topic, Y/N.“

You scoffed at his choice of words. “What did you expect, Yoongi? Can’t you see that this relationship isn’t working out anymore? Can we even call it a relationship? Because I’m sure even stranger talk more to each other than we both do!“

“You want to end this relationship just because we aren’t talking to each other?“ Yoongi chuckled sarcastically.

“Is that the only you noticed? That we aren’t talking anymore? Yoongi, when was the last time we spent a day together? When was the last time we ate together? I’m waiting for you everyday! Every damn day, I’m hoping like a fool that you would come home a little earlier so I could see you a little bit longer!“

“That’s my life, Y/N! You know how important my work is to me!“

You blinked a few times, trying to avoid your newly forming tears. “Then what am I, Yoongi? Am I not important?“

Furrowing his eyebrows, Yoongi hissed. “Stop talking nonsense, Y/N.“

“I’m exhausted, Yoongi. I’m exhausted of waiting, of hoping, of fighting.. I feel lonely. Even though you’re in my life, I fell like I’m alone.. I can’t even call you without being scared that you would yell at me, telling me that you are busy. I feel lost, Yoongi.. I don’t know how I should tune myself to you. I want you tell you so much, there are so many things I want to share with you but I’m scared that I might burden you with my problems. You get pissed over everything I say and to make peace again, you use making love to me as your advantage.. When was the last time you kissed me with desire? The last time you hugged me with affection? You can’t remember, right? Do you now understand why I want to break up, Yoongi?“

You watched how Yoongi’s frustrated expression softened after listening to your words, guilt filling his whole body. What was he thinking? You, the person he loved the most, were slipping out of his hands in front of his eyes, but he was too dump to notice. Hesitantly, he took a few steps forward, but stopped when he saw how you backed away.

“Don’t. Please stay there.“

“Y/N-“

“Lately people tell me I’ve changed a bit.“ you say as you look into the distance, lost in your thoughts. “They say that I don’t easily smile anymore and that I always look tired. Even without me telling you, I hoped you would acknowledge it first..“

When you hear a whimper, you look up and notice that Yoongi was crying, he hands pulling at his hair forcefully. Trying to ignore the pain in your heart, you look away and continue. “Look, Yoongi.. The time spent with you is really precious to me and I’m not sure whether my feelings for you would change or not.. But my body is really tired, I guess my heart is too.. We’re just tiring ourselves.. Just give me a little time, please..“

Realizing what you were trying to say, Yoongi lunged himself forward, wrapping his arms around your shaking figure as tightly as he could. “No, Y/N! Please don’t! I’m sorry, I’m really sorry! I will change, I swear! Please don’t leave me!“

Leaning back a little bit, you cupped his face in your hands, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. “I need some time to myself, Yoongi, just like you do.. I think I’ve become exhausted on my own, little by little.. Everything feels wrong right now.. Even though I’m trying my best to make everything better, it gets worse.. So, please, let me go..“

Shaking his head hysterically, he mumbled in between his sobs. “I don’t want to lose you, Y/N.. I’m sorry.. I’ll try my best! Please..“

Getting out of his strong grip, you mumbled as you walked out of the door.

“I’m sorry, Yoongi.. But it’s too little too late.. You’re late..“

Devil Side-Chapter 9

Summary: A confrontation in the early hours of the morning leads to rekindle friendship and healing of old hurts.

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Platonic Steve x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fighting, Comfort, emotional Affair. 

Word Count: 1318

Flash Back:

“Gone,” Steve echoes dully, the word tasting sour on his tongue. He glances at Bucky who had gone deathly pale when Fury had explained your reassignment. “Pal?” Steve probes his friend gently, but he’s seemed to be at a loss for words, and, more worryingly, Natasha is glaring daggers at the former winter soldier.

She rises from her chair and moves catlike coming to a stop in front of Bucky. “This is your fault!” she spits, bending at the waist to stare a seated Bucky in the eye “You did this, you’re the reason she’s gone!” Natasha turns on her heel just as Steve demands to know what the hell she’s talking about.

She stops in the doorway and turns her head slightly, her face deadly focused on Bucky Barnes. “If you bring your whore anywhere near me, I will kill her.”

Present:
Yawning tiredly, rubbing absently at your sandpaper eyes while shuffling, zombie-like, into the dimly lit kitchen, you ignore the insistent flashing of the kitchen clock. It was four am, too early to be awake, yet here you were in your rolled up pajama shorts and a tank top that hung loosely from your frame. It seemed you had lost a few pounds since the last time you were in the compound, the clothes you’d left in your room barely fit anymore. You were startled by your severe change in appearance and vowed to rectify it immediately.

A loud rumble from your stomach indicates your desperate need for food, having not eaten since the flight back to New York and having barely slept. You were exhausted beyond comprehension.

Bucky had not over exaggerated when he’d warned you of Reyna’s teething problems.

Sighing audibly, you rummage through the cupboards for some form of cereal which didn’t contain an abundance of sugar. Coming up empty, you groan aloud, grouching at the lack of healthy foodstuffs when a wry chuckle makes you jump about a foot off the floor.

You spin and face the source of the noise, your eyes darting and catching the baby blues of Steve’s. “You scared me, Steve” you mumbled, turning your attention back to the food stores.

He snorts and shakes his head. “I didn’t think that was possible,” he quips, a hint of resentment entering his voice.

Stiffening slightly, you slowly turn to face him, noting the hard set of his jaw and the edge to his eyes. Somehow you knew this was going to happen. Steve was way too loyal for it not to happen. You, however, were not expecting a confrontation right out of the gate.

“Say what you have to say, Rogers. Stop pussyfooting,” snapping impatiently, not the best way to start the conversation to be sure, but you were tired, your patience had long since evaporated.

His spoon clatters loudly against his bowl, his eyes snapping to yours. “You left, without a word. Left your team hanging!”

It wasn’t a question but an accusation, one you had been expecting yet it still stung. “This isn’t about me leaving the team, is it, Steve? This is about Bucky.”

Steve’s expression goes blank, his face hardening. “He fell to pieces when you left,” he grits out.

“If you don’t want me here, Cap, tell me. I’ll go to Fury right now and request reassignment,” you reply calmly.

Steve’s face drains of color, spluttering indignantly at your words. “What? No… that’s not…”  

You cut him off before he can launch his tirade. “Listen, I get it. He’s your friend, he can do no wrong in your eyes, but I needed time for me. To heal, to get over him, and I’m not going to subject myself to your self-righteous proclamations. I will not tolerate you laying the blame at my feet. I do that enough already without your help.”

Steve’s eyes widen comically, a light blush tinting his cheeks. Apparently, Cap hadn’t been called out in a while. It would be highly amusing if you weren’t watching your friendship burst into flames. Steve sighs heavily, his shoulders slumping. “That is not what I meant,  (Y/N). I know Bucky screwed the pooch, but the rest of us? You were gone! We didn’t know why, and Bucky… well, he didn’t take it well.”

You slam your fists down the kitchen island, anger surging venomously through your veins, and level Steve with a glare that could strip paint off of walls. “And what about me? What about what I went through? What about my pain, Steven? Or am I that inconsequential? I wasn’t the one who cheated! How is this my fault?” Steve opens his mouth to reply but you cut him off before he can form the words “You know what? I’m done,” you spit, stomping down the hallway, and slamming your bedroom door shut.

God, what were you thinking? You should have insisted on going back to Andrew, begged to go back, because if this was your first day home, then what was a week going to look like?

Did they all think it was your fault Bucky had strayed? Was it your fault he had looked elsewhere for comfort?

Flinging yourself onto your unmade bed, you burrow under the covers, relishing in the safety they provide.

The bedroom door opens softly. After a few seconds, the bed dips, and you’re enveloped in strong arms. “I’m sorry, (Y/N), I was being insensitive. I don’t blame you for leaving, or Bucky’s choices,” Steve says softly.

“I’m tired, Stevie. The last two years have been hell. He married her, had a kid. He lived the life we were supposed to live together. It hurts.” Closing your eyes tightly, you forge on needing to get this out. “Leaving the team and Bucky was like a dagger to the heart. You were my family, my home, and I know I let you down, but I couldn’t watch while he moved on with her. I couldn’t stay here. I needed space to breathe, to think. I should have said goodbye, and I’m sorry I hurt you, Steve.” You feel Steve nod his head, his grip tightening around you slightly.

“I wish you had come to me, told me what was going on,” he states.

“I couldn’t, Steve. You would have been pissed, and Bucky would have had no one to turn to when things got bad. I couldn’t do that to him,” you mumble, embarrassment flares It had been a long time since you had laid bare your innermost thoughts, and while you could trust Steve, you couldn’t help the hint of weakness your admission had caused, the vulnerability almost choking you in its unfamiliarity.

You hated this feeling, being exposed like a raw nerve, it wasn’t something that came naturally to you, it had been beaten out of you, eroded and eradicated.

Steve tilts your chin upwards, scrutinizing your features. “Thank you, for trusting me enough to confide in me. Can you forgive me for my putz behavior?” he asks gently, his eyes softening.

A small smile plays on your lips. “Of course Steve, if you can forgive me? For bailing like a coward.”

Steve nods seriously. “There’s nothing to forgive,” he replies.

You smile widely at him and he grins back sheepishly before his smile slips slightly.

“You’ve lost too much weight, we need to get you back on a programme,” he barks, Captain America slipping into his tone.

“Steve.”

“I’m serious, you’re nothing but skin and bone.”

Stevie.”

“How do you expect to take a hit if it looks like a soft wind could blow you over?”

“Steven!”

“What?”

“You’re such a putz!”

His roaring laughter echoes around the room, leaving a pleasantly warm feeling in your chest. It was good to have him back. You had missed your friends terribly, and it looked like you could have them back, even if that meant making chums with Bucky Barnes himself. 

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If anyone happens to encounter one of the people who vandalised the George, you have my blessing and encouragement to punch them. Just bring it right up from the fuckin heels and into their jaw.

And don’t anybody start the “boohoo! Don’t promote violence there are better ways!” Someone defaced the foremost gay bar in the country with homophobic slurs and a fuckin swastika on the anniversary of the Marriage Equality referendum. If you advocate against punching them then look at your life, look at your choices.