look at what this toxic relationship has done


I didn’t want to take over @jaspuppy‘s post with a big long response, so I’m making my own post.

Let me just say beforehand that I absolutely love their Malachite meta, and I wish that more of the fandom would talk more about the “why” behind Malachite, rather than blindly accepting that she’s bad, end of story. Please keep doing what you’re doing!

Now as far as the Malachite/Lapis and Jasper situation is concerned, I feel like I have a slightly more optimistic outlook on it, and I do think that it will be readdressed in the future, and that everything that we’ve seen and how it has been introduced to us was very purposeful, if a little ill-advised, given the audience and the infrequent airing schedule. I personally feel like a lot of the issues that people have with Steven Universe would be more easily resolved if they aired a season consistently over a 6 month period and went on a 6 month hiatus to prepare for the next round of episodes, but that’s beside the point.

Mutual Abuse

We, as a fandom, need to acknowledge that “mutual abuse” is rarely a clean-cut 50/50 abuse case. There is literally no way to measure abuse, because it comes in so many different forms and it affects people in different ways. To say that Lapis and Jasper are equally at fault for Malachite is complete and utter bullshit. Jasper was the enabler, but Lapis was the one who agreed to fusion and who kept it going. She had all the power in the relationship, and Jasper fought against her the entire time.

“Mutual abuse” was a term used by the FANDOM, and not by the Crewniverse (as far as I know). In fact, I highly doubt that abuse was even the main point of Malachite, despite it being a large factor. I know I’ll get shit for this, but I really think we need to take abuse out of the argument if we can’t look at it as anything other than black and white and one shade of grey.

They Bring Out the Worst in Each Other

This. This is what we need to focus on in terms of Lapis and Jasper’s relationship. They’re really bad for each other. Their relationship was figuratively and literally toxic. And let me just say, i believe this has very little to do with what they’ve done to each other.

Lapis’ most negative feelings are wrapped up in her history of being imprisoned by both Homeworld and the Crystal Gems. As Malachite, she had the power of ocean and her own convictions that she deserves better, and that fed into her need for control. That is how Jasper brought out the worst in Lapis, not for anything that she has done before (besides being an authority figure).

Jasper’s negative feelings haven’t been definitely fleshed out in-show, but it’s heavily implied that she faced adversity on Homeworld for being from Earth, and from the “joke” kindergarten, at that. She has Homeworld’s rhetoric internalized, the mentality that “we all get what we deserve” and that, if she loses, then it was no one’s fault but her own. She’s obsessed with being perfect, how everyone must mentally and physically fit inside Homeworld’s mold, or otherwise be “purged”. 

What I’m getting at is, because of this mentality, Jasper’s problems lie in being strong enough (which, evidently, her sisters were not). She enjoyed being fused with Lapis because she felt stronger, but that wasn’t until after she broke free of Lapis control. All the fighting was worth it to her, as long as she could get the feeling of being strong. This is how Lapis brought out the worst in Jasper.

Now I could go on about this all day, but my point is: I’m also VERY tired of seeing the abuse argument when it comes to Lapis and Jasper. Lapis held Jasper prisoner at the bottom of the ocean because she was “done being everyone’s prisoner.” Jasper came crawling back to the gem who physically and mentally drowned her because SHE WAS ADDICTED TO FEELING STRONG AS MALACHITE. Lapis abused Jasper, clear and cut, but they both suffered from Malachite.

Here’s the thing, I love Autobot Megatron, I love his change of heart, his very real attempts to reconnect with the person he used to be. But if he really wants to be a changed bot, he’s got to deal with what he’s done to starscream. That 4 million year long toxic and downright abusive relationship between the master and his backstabbing second has been our up close and personal look at how much of a monster Megatron really was. The 4 million year war, the countless planets crushed beneath the decepticons heels are an abstraction at best for us. 

Megatron: Spotlight had all the things that made Megatron an awful person on display- his brutality, hypocrisy (blame star scream for the state of the army when he were the one that wanted all resources devoted to rebuilding his body), the glee he took in the suffering of others, his selfishness, his cruelty, his sociopathy (abusing Starscream was ‘sport’). All of those things were directed at one person - Starscream. He bore the brunt of everything that made Megatron a monster right in the face. It’s not an accident that Starscream is a deeply paranoid and guarded individual who can’t even conceive of trusting anyone on a personal level. 

If Megatron really wants to do a full on Heelturn, he has to apologize to Starscream, even if the act if futile, even if Starscream scoffs and mocks him, it doesn’t matter. He’s got to do it. Denouncing the DJD was a good start, they were the physical embodiments of his old self.  Megatron needs to leave his dignity at the door and apologive for being absolutely awful to the backstabbing conniving bot that was trying to usurp him for eons. Starscream’s motives/behavior don’t change the fact that Megs kept him around as his whipping boy.

TL:DR; If Autobot Megatron really wants to put the past behind him, he has to deal with his twisted relationship with his second in command before he can move on. 

I’m just saying I’m totally not loving these double standards.

Lexa betrayed Clarke at mount weather because she was doing what she thought was right for her people and she’s the ‘devil incarnate’.

Clarke betrayed Bellamy by drugging him, kidnapping him, locking him in the bunker so he can’t rescue his sister with the intention of not allowing him to see her ever again and y'all are giving her a free pass cause Bellarke? Also dare I mention y'all calling Clexa toxic and using Clarke holding a knife to Lexa’s throat as proof…. What do you call Clarke threatening Bellamy with a gun then? Is that okay?

Lexa ‘kidnapped’ Clarke and 'held her against her will’. Clarke has legit just done the same to Bellamy yet you’re letting her get away with it because “she’s been through so much give her a break”.


I’m tired of y'all demonising the dead lesbian yet now you’re letting Clarke off for doing the same things to Bellamy and in your eyes it’s a dramatic love story but for Clexa it was toxic.

Look, I have nothing against Bellarke and enjoy their relationship. I have a problem with hypocritical fandom though.

To the people saying to not post 'hate' on the Karamel tag:

Listen, I get it you like a ship and want to enjoy it in peace but here’s the thing my darlings this ship is toxic and the way it is portrayed as healthy is a harmful message to be sending young girls who look up to supergirl. And for abuse survivors like me seeing such a relationship normalized is incredibly triggering and unhelpful. Before you hit me with hate mail about if I’m so easily triggered I shouldn’t watch the show consider that this show has been riding on the back of feminism since its start. And now they are pulling this shit essentially what they’ve done is show up at a safe place establish their belonging there only to then shit all over the carpet. I do not know if I will continue to watch supergirl but if I do I plan to continue to criticize it rather than consume it blindly as we should do with all media. I’ll keep my hate out of your tag when they start keeping abuse off my supposed feminist show.

Platonic Grell x Ronald Headcanons

- Grell isn’t great at cooking but still brings shitty homemade food into the office. Ronald is the only one who chows down without question and loves it - he loves any free food. His tastes are undiscerning and his stomach indestructible xD

- Ronald is the only one who’s gotten a glimpse of who Grell really is and knows that under all the drama and gaudiness, Grell is quite lonely and damaged. He also sees and appreciates Grell’s strength more in light of this knowledge.

- Ronald is also the only one who takes Grell’s feelings for Will seriously, the only one who perceives there’s something real there as opposed to anyone else Grell claims to love. He sees how much Will can actually wound Grell where others can’t even draw blood. Initially he has a hard time reading Will (who doesn’t?) and often wishes Grell would give up on him, but he grows to hardcore ship them once he’s been around Will enough to know he’s kinda weird about that trash officer Sutcliff.

- speaking of noticing Will’s potential feelings, Grell is oblivious. So Ronald had to deal with watching Grell stare wistfully at Will, batting eyelashes, waving flirtatiously, etc. while Will ignores it. Then Grell turns around and Ronald watches Will pretend not to watch Grell. Later Ronald will say something like “Spears Senpai watched you brush your hair with that comb you keep in your drawer for about two whole minutes this morning” and Grell won’t believe him. It drives Ronald insane.

- When Ronald first started in dispatch and Grell was assigned to him, he was equal parts intimidated and confused by his superior- with a dose of annoyance, because let’s face it, Grell is pretty obnoxious. But the barriers between them were broken down considerably when Ronald had emotional trouble with a reap due to something in his past as a human. Grell always seemed so detached from the past and Ronald expected to be told to snap out of it but instead Grell took him home that night, made him bad tea and let him sleep on the couch. ( I think I got part of this one from a fic, but I can’t remember which. In any case I see it as kind of the beginning of their friendship. )

- also when Ronald first started in dispatch, he noticed some people would make fun of Grell in private (they were too afraid to do it to Grell’s face). He used to kind of laugh along but once they got to know each other better he started to feel bad about it and stopped. He will even stick up for Grell sometimes, though he thinks not as often as he should because Ronald doesn’t like making waves and likes to be liked. Grell seems to know this about him and doesn’t mind, which makes Ronald feel worse.

- Ronald thinks about just having fun more than he does finding true love. He’s very popular with the ladies but Grell often says things to him like “Don’t worry Ronnie, you’ll know what that’s like someday” in reference to something sexual Ronald’s already done, or “you’ll find what you’re looking for” or “Ronnie, some of us are just late bloomers”, all these comments that are hilarious and out of place and just…humorous. (But not for Ronald who’s annoyed and confused by it xD)

- Grell tries to loudly give Ronald relationship advice often even though Grell’s own relationships are usually short-lived, toxic and disastrous and Ronald is very rarely pursuing a relationship in the first place.

- Grell occasionally drops by Ronald’s place without warning. This is a problem considering Ronald has a very busy social life.

- If Ronald ever did fall in love Grell would be the first person he’d tell.

- A lot of people don’t invite Grell to parties. Some for kind of mean reasons and others because Grell can be an unpredictable disaster at parties. Except for Ronald. Ronald invites Grell to parties. He also includes Grell in things when others wouldn’t- perhaps making up for not verbally sticking up for Grell all the time- and since Ronald is pretty popular this leads to making Grell a little more accepted despite the general lack of boundaries and issues socializing appropriately that tend to alienate Grell in the first place.

- speaking of parties, Grell and Ronald make a mean entertainment team. Whether it’s dancing, comedy or karaoke, they play really well off of one another and really liven up the show.

- Ronald and Grell sit facing one another at their desks (with computers between them, idk how much sense that makes but I picture them with computers anyway lol). Grell will suddenly start sighing and making shocked or excited noises or little exclamations until Ronald gives in and says, “what’s up, Ma?” At which time Grell will deliver the latest drama.

- Ronald calls Grell “Ma”. I made a post about this earlier but long story short it’s an inside thing. Sometimes Grell carries it too far by saying in the presence of others things like “tsk tsk, Ronnie, mother disapproves” and “I pushed you from my womb Ronald, I think I deserve a little more respect”. This makes Ronald uncomfortable. So uncomfortable.

- Ronald has, on a couple occasions only, kissed Grell on the cheek like a son might kiss a mother. Grell has, in several occasions, pulled Ronald into a bone-crushing hug and given him many very wet kisses.

- Grell sometimes threatens to kill people who harm Ronald. Ronald knows this is not hyperbole. Ronald tries not to tell Grell about people who harm him. There’s still a good fraction of him that’s terrified of Grell- for good reason.

- Grell and Ronald have a relationship where there’s a lot of mild back and forth ribbing and teasing between the two of them, and sometimes Grell will play-hit Ronald. It hurts. It hurts a lot, but Grell seems to think he’s making fun when he confesses this. Ronald has not figured out how to make it stop. Pray for Ronald.

- Ronald had fun training with Grell a lot of time even though he’s not a big fan of work, and he was inspired to have his scythe modified later to a lawnmower because of Grell’s chainsaw.

- these fuckers would be hilarious as roommates.