look at this gorgeous bastard

Domesticity Meme Tianshan (Future)

Who cooks normally?

Mo Guanshan, of course, that’s no secret. Even after years, He Tian is not allowed to touch a single pan in the kitchen.

How often do they fight?

Seriously? Mo Guanshan is the epitome of arguments and He Tian is Satan, there will be blood. ….fine, fine. Joke. They won’t fight that often because He Tian doesn’t want to. It’s simply unnecessary to show off his capability of brainfucking and physically overpowering someone he loves and whenever Mo Guanshan gets angry at him, He Tian manages to appease him by listening what the redhead has to say. He actually is a good listener. Mo Guanshan knows it and curses himself for forgiving the devil so easily.

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Good question. Work? Or if they aren’t at their jobs, Mo Guanshan perhaps goes kickboxing or on a tour with his motorbike and also does the laundry and dishes and cleaning because He fucking Tian is 2 meters tall, also a male supermodel and his gorgeous smile is killing everyone who looks at him, “BUT. THAT BASTARD. CAN’T. DO. THE FUCKING HOUSEHOLD.”
He Tian is probably fucking everyone up. Don’t know how and we better not question it, Mo Guanshan asked one time and the dangerous, dirty smirk he got was enough to leave him shaking. Nope. Not doing that again.

Nicknames for each other?

Despite being cruel and evil and badass, He Tian loves the redhead more than anything else, he calls him so many cheesy nicknames, Mo Guanshan wants to constantly puke. Most of them are still from their time in middle school, it amuses He Tian to remind him of all the shit they did, although he now adds “my” to everything he says. Like “My little Mo”, “My beautiful, little redhead”, “My little Mountain…” whatever.
Mo Guanshan settles for bastard, idiot, fucker and every other insult what comes to mind. He doesn’t mean it and He Tian isn’t even going to complain because duh, he KNOWS. Always knew it.

Who is more likely to pay for dinner?

He Tian. Rich kid became rich adult. Everytime they go to the restaurant, Mo Guanshan wants to pay “for fucking once” but He Tian is not having any of that. He distracts the redhead or says that he is going to the toilet or even steals Mo Guanshan’s wallet out of his hands without the redhead even noticing and when they’re leaving, Mo Guanshan finally understands that he had been tricked. AGAIN.

Who steals the covers at night?

Mo Guanshan, He Tian is awake most of the night and when he sleeps, he is as cold as a corpse, laying on his back with crossed arms over his chest and he doesn’t move an inch. Well, after snatching away the warm blanket, one time the redhead’s guilty conscience makes him feel that traitorous that he sighs and spreads it over them both. Only to almost scream when he feels an arm pulling him to the broad, trained but freezing chest and hears the soft laughing at his ear.

“Couldn’t let me die, hm~?”
“You could warm me up properly, how about that…?”

He Tian only chuckles and buries his nose in the red hair. Mo Guanshan is glad that in the dark, Satan can’t see his bright red face.

What would they get each other for gifts?

He Tian gets the redhead everything he sets his eyes on. Really. Money doesn’t matter and Mo Guanshan tries to stop him. But since it’s He Tian we’re talking about, to no avail. A new pillow because the old one is worn off? No problem, darling, He Tian makes sure you’ll have a new one when you go to bed for the next time. One of Mo Guanshan’s favorite movies will be out in the store the next few days? He Tian will be the one who ordered it weeks ago to have it delivered before it even is officially released. One of his little Mountain’s earstuds has gone missing? Do not despair, your husband will buy you twenty new pairs.
Mo Guanshand tells him it’s ridiculous. (And secretly loves him for being such a dork, caring that much about his well-being.)
The redhead on the other hand gifts the blackhaired man preferably with cold glares, snorts and ignorance, but if he finds something that He Tian would like, he doesn’t hesitate to gather his savings to buy it for him. Rather difficult because this guy already has everything. He Tian tells him he doesn’t have to, but Mo Guanshan insists and “If you don’t accept this proof of my debatable love for you shithead, I’ll beat you up with it, just so you know. Now shut the fuck up and kiss me, damn it.”

Who remembers things?

Both. He Tian is by far more unforgiving than the devil himself if it’s something he really despises. Also he likes to bring up old stories and embarrass the living crap out of his Mountain. For doing house-related stuff, his brain is useless.
Mo Guanshan also has developed a sharp mind, but he rather does not talk about the past. Too annoying and if He Tian doesn’t stop telling everyone how they became a couple, he will go berserk. Otherwise, he never forgets a single thing when he’s out for grocery shopping.

Who cusses more?

Mo Guanshan, 100%. Still a foul mouth.

What would they do if the other one was hurt? (Scenario after a fight)

If it’s Mo Guanshan who is physically hurt and you are the cause for it, you better RUN. Or jump off a building. Because He Tian is going to hunt you down with fire and steel after he made sure that the redhead is safe. And he WILL find you, wherever you are. You would be well advised if you already dig your own grave.
He Tian is a person who is never physically hurt. Or pretends it. Mo Guanshan knows him well enough to know when he lies and after receiving a good verbal scolding, He Tian’s going to be treated like gold. Getting his wounds cleaned and bandaged with utmost care and after the redhead is done, Mo Guanshan would bed him on the mattress, tell him that he will be back in a while and is about to leave, when He Tian grabs his wrist.
“You will not search for him, Mountain. The matter is settled and I want you here. Stay.”

Who kissed who first?

He Tian kissed Mo Guanshan in middle school. (That’s canon.)
Mo Guanshan still hits his husband when he thinks about it.

Who made the first move?

Also He Tian, because if there’s something -or in this case, someone- he wants, he gets it/them.

Who started the relationship?

I’d like to imagine it’s Mo Guanshan. He Tian confesses his true feelings and Mo Guanshan first doesn’t believe shit he says, but after a night full of thinking and growling and hitting his bed sheets and realizations, he can’t deny anymore that he also loves this bastard and more, wants him by his side. Wants his presence all around him, wants him to hold him. The next day, he walks up to the blackhaired man, slams his palm against his chest and tells him straight-forward that he probably shouldn’t tell him, but he wants him by his side. Wants to be with him. Mo Guanshan is red as a lobster, and He Tian just stares at him in disbelief, after all, he didn’t dare to imagine in his wildest dreams that the redhead would ever like him enough to stay. Wordlessly, he grabs the redhaired man’s cheeks, very gently, and after a short moment and a deep gaze into his eyes, he kisses him. This time, he had seen it in his face that Mo Guanshan trusted him and his lips pull into a content, honest smile at the other’s warm, soft ones, when he feels him kissing back.
Nothing could ever ruin this moment and they both realize that that’s what they longed for all the time. Would live for, from now on and the thought makes Mo Guanshan smile, too.


Dynasty Warriors Meme

Most Attractive Male (Shu): Fa Zheng

awkward aus

💉 “you’re a pediatrician and I’m a single parent who has a crush on you but I’m scared to ask you out since my child always misbehaves at your office and oh god you must think I’m an awful parent” au
📋 “you’re the new colleague and i have an inclination you’re here to steal the position I’ve wanted for years but you always give me dazzling smiles when you walk past and it makes me spill coffee on my shirt and notes, way to make me look unprofessional, at least buy me a new coffee, you gorgeous bastard” au
🗼 “you’re my friend’s exchange student and i figured you don’t speak english so i told my friend that you’re really fucking hot and now they’ve left us alone for a moment and you keep smirking at me like something’s wrong with my face” au
🎁 “i lost my child in the mall while christmas shopping and you’re the employee who entertained them until i arrived at the reception after hearing the announcement via speaker thank you so much for keeping the kid from crying please let me buy you coffee if you won’t accept payment for the toy my little tyke broke” au
📺 “we’re the only two people in the waiting room and there’s a trailer on for a movie and i just laughed out loud and made a derogatory comment about the plot only to find out you’re starring/directing oh fuck please shoot me into the sun I’m so sorry you’re actually really cute please don’t hate me” au
🍅 “you work the night shift at a 24 hour shop and i only come here at night because of you and also to satisfy my ice cream needs but I’m so sleep drunk i just knocked over an entire shelf and now smashed tomatos are everywhere and it’s 3 am and if you keep glaring at me like that i might actually cry please let me take you out for dinner to make it up” au
💇 “I’m the hair designer’s sibling but we look so alike that you asked me to give you a cut and i couldn’t resist the opportunity to run my hands through your soft hair and stare at your beautiful face but you smiled and i got distracted and might have just cut off a bit too much ohmygod i can explain please don’t hate me” au
😎 “you were sat on a bench opposite me at the park with your sunglasses on and smiling so i blushed and smiled back and we spent the next quarter of an hour exchanging grins and then you just got up to leave and grabbed your cane and oh my god you’re blind i thought you fancied me and you’re so cute please don’t let this be the end of our encounter" au
👼 “your kid plays the angel in our church christmas play but they’re actually a little devil and i always plan on telling you that when you pick them up from practice but you look so cute and exhausted and now you’ve invited me for dinner to yours and i blurted out ‘as long as your child’s not home’ oh shit please don’t cancel the date” au
📰 “you’re a reporter who spelled my name wrong in the paper and i actually just came by to complain but i didn’t know you were so pretty and you just keep mispronouncing my name but i don’t know if i want to correct you i just know we should go for coffee sometime” au
🎠 “you found me late at night at the fair sat on a motionless carousel crying and stuffing my face with cotton candy and gently lead me off the closed property and now we ran into each other at the shop and i can tell you recognise me but you look really gorgeous in daylight it was a bad period of my life please don’t judge me please go out with me” au
🐇 “you work at the petshop my friend sent me to buy fish food and you’re so adorably enthusiastic you somehow managed to sell me a young bunny and i don’t know how to tell you this but I’m actually allergic” au
🛀 “i slept over at my friend’s place and walked in on you having a bath the next morning and omg I’m so sorry i forgot they had a flatmate and i didn’t mean to stare at your naked body I’m still half asleep but please do move because i really need to pee” au
🎤 “my friend forced me to come along to help them pick a new phone but i got bored and started trying out the playstation and you’re the employee who just caught me singing karaoke and swaying my hips like britney spears but instead of laughing you joined in and i think i have a crush on you” au

anonymous asked:

Most majestic failure to pass inspection?

Its not really a failed inspection per se but it’s still one of my favorite stories.

Many years ago…
My friend and I picked up Lance at the same time. 
For some reason we had to be in Chucks that day. My buddy didn’t have any white shirts, so this beautiful disaster of a Marine got a white tube sock, cut off the toe, and cut it once lengthwise to basically create a white square of wool. 
He laid this square of fabric across his chest like a bib, and motherfucking stapled it to his shoulders, then put his khaki shirt over that so that at a glance it looked like he had a white shirt.   
Then me and this gorgeous bastard stood in front of the whole company and the CO, XO, MSgt, and 1stSgt… and got god damn promoted while wearing a cut up sock as a shirt, fucking stapled to his body. And not a fucking one of them said a single word to the dude. 

I’ve seen and done a lot of things in the Corps…but I think that’s when it really became real for me. 
I was home. And these were my people.

My Dean Obsession   (Soul Survivor 10x03)

#had to bring this back…#that mouth/tongue/eyes/seductive look/ scruff/gorgeous face/sexy bastard is KILLING ME