look at these guys talking shit about this puppy

I wussed out on Ethan’s signing this weekend at PAXWest, and didn’t have the gonads to hand him this piece in the first place, BUT OTHERWISE PAX was amazing and I did get to meet his friends on the escalator! 

Parker gave us a high five and called Ethan “the worst,” and was all “ugh yeah, hate that guy,” and Shelby very sweetly added “he never pays for his food,” while Andrew hopped right in with a bitter “he spat in my eye once, the shit,” all topped off with Parker looking me right in the eye to inform me, “you know he microwaves puppies for fun?” HAHHAHA. I could’ve talked to them for hours about Ethan and YouTube and misadventures in IKEA–they were hilarious.

Anyway, congrats on 5 years AND your first PAX solo panel, Ethan! That’s a pretty big deal! Can’t wait to grow some balls and congratulate you in person next year! 

Spilled Secrets (Baekho)

He’s scary. He seriously looks like a celebrity. He’s too intimidating. It’s a shame that Seventeen succeeded first.

He heard it all from the stage below. How could he not look intimidating? He was intimidated. He was hurt. After failing to hit his high note during the ranking auditions he was beyond broken. The only thing that kept him from falling apart was you and your constant encouragement. The auditions end and all 101 boys shuffle out, headed towards their designated living quarters. He says goodbye to his members, separated by their ranks. The other trainees split like the Red Sea when they saw Baekho walking down the hallway, luggage in tow, some peeking out from their own rooms. He enters his and finds his roommates already settled in. He greets them politely then roughly unpacks. His reaches for his phone as it vibrates in his pocket. He smiles when he sees your caller ID and photo, not hesitating to answer it. 

“Oppa! How is it? How are your dorms? Are you okay? Is everyone nice?” 

He chuckles, surprising his roommates. He sits down on his bed, back against the headboard. “Slow down, hon– Mom.” 

“Mom?” You laugh. 

“Yeah… People are listening, so it’s… Embarrassing?” 

“Oh, right. Anyways, I’m just worried about you.” 

“I’m okay. We’ll be alright… It’s kind of our last chance to make things work.” 

“I’ll always be here for you and NU’EST will come out stronger after this. I know it.”

“Thanks, you always know what to say. Are you busy tonight?” 

“No, but are you allowed to see me? It wasn’t a problem before, but the circumstances were a little different.” 

“It’s fine. I have nothing to lose, except you. I don’t plan on losing that much.” 

“Don’t say it like that. Mostly because that’s not something you’d say to your mother, remember? Although, thank you. I feel very important and loved.” 

“Shit, you’re right. Meet me tonight for dinner though?” 

“Time and place, I’m there. I love you.” 

“I love you too, babe– Baby Dongho has to get back to unpacking then.” You burst out into laughter and kiss the receiver. 

“Bye~” He clears  his throat awkwardly and sets his phone aside, heading to the bathroom. He has to be more careful, all jokes aside it would really be detrimental to get caught up in any scandals at this critical time. He comes back to his room and grabs fresh clothes for his date with you later. His roommates look at each other suspiciously as he exits. The scurry to Baekho’s bed and stare at his phone. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this…” One of the boys says hesitantly.

Another sighs, “it’s fine, he’ll never know. I just don’t believe that was his mom.”

A third boy stands above the other two, arms crossed. “He probably has a passcode so what’s the point?” The second boy presses the home button and it lights up, a photo of you posing cutely fills the screen and the boys gasp. “Why are you so surprised? He’s been in the idol game for a long time, you think he wouldn’t have had a girlfriend by now?” 

“But we’re not really supposed to…” The first one purses his lips. “We have to make sure no one else knows. It was none of business in the first place.” The third boy throws his arms in the air.

“I had no part in this. I didn’t see or hear anything.” The second boy nods and turns the screen off before Baekho returns. The three boys return to their beds and watch as he puts his phone in his pocket then heads out the door. 

“It doesn’t hurt to follow him though, right?” The second one asks. The three boys look at each other and smile. 

“Let’s do it.”

You swing your feet back and forth while sitting on the park bench, the Spring breeze tickles your skin. When you hear footsteps approaching you instinctively look towards the sound and smile brightly when you see Baekho walking towards you. You run up to him, nearly tackling him with your hug. He picks you up and kisses you, sets you back down and kisses you again. 

“I missed you~” You grab his arm and rest your head on his shoulder as you walk towards the restaurant. 

“We were apart for less than 48 hours; this was probably the shortest time ever.”

“And that means I can’t miss you?” He opens the door for you and you enter, taking your seat. “Hey~ Answer me,” you whine cutely, earning nothing but a blush from Baekho. 

Baekho pays the bill while you admire his profile as he talks to the waiter. You heart hurt for him, knowing how difficult if must be to have to compete with actual rookies. 

“Is there something on my face?” Baekho laughs as he turns back to you.

“No, I’m just admiring you.” He reaches across the table and pinches your cheek. 

“Well don’t. It’s embarrassing.” 

“Why~?” You pout. “Everyone gets to stare at you on TV, but I can’t?” 

“That’s because I don’t have to watch them stare at me with puppy eyes.” Meanwhile, from across the restaurant, Baekho’s roommates peer curiously at you. 

“Heol~ He’s being so cute and smiley with her, but he was so scary at auditions.”

“I wonder what they’re talking about. Shit, they’re coming this way!” You and Baekho walk right past the three boys, trying to hide their faces. 

“You guys…” Baekho stops beside their table, pulling you back.

“What’s wrong?” You look at the three boys sheepishly hiding their faces with menus and cups. You tilt your head to one side, confused. 

“We’re sorry!” The three boys collapse to the floor on their hands and knees, begging for forgiveness. “We were curious and we saw your lock screen photo and we followed you. We’re sorry!” Baekho sighs, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. 

“Get up off the floor, everyone is staring. We don’t want this to show up on the news tomorrow morning.” The boys do so, not lifting their heads. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” his tone still cold.

“We won’t tell anyone, hyung! We swear!” The boys put their hands over their hearts and you can see them shaking. 

“Why do you have to pretend to be so cool?” You laugh, “the look like they’re about to piss themselves.” 

“I’m not! You know this is how I am.”

“Hmm~ I don’t know about that. You’re pretty cute with me.” The boys smile to themselves and bow again. 

“Ah… It’s fine guys. She’s been my girlfriend for years, so it’s not really a secret or anything… I just don’t want people to harass her.”

“Let’s all hang out then!” You smile at Baekho almost threateningly. Make new friends. He could read it in your face. “You guys are roommates, so you guys should get closer. We’re going to a movie then I’ll send you boys on your way home. Don’t want any articles about you guys partying to get out.” You take two of the boys by the shoulder and start walking. You look back at Baekho who snorts.  Even if your date was cut short, it reminded him how much he loved you for always thinking about him.

“Yeah, okay. Sure.” He mumbles to himself as he follows you out. This is really why he loves you. 

——————————

I’ve never watch PD101 so I don’t know how all the stuff works, but hopefully that’s not distracting.

anonymous asked:

Headcanons for Chocobros with S/O who's frequently loses voice due to being nervous and shy?

((Hehe… S/O you so cute! =P Shy people here, here! Also, for some reason, Gladiolus’ always gets the lolvoice I would write more in but don’t lol.))

Noctis is going to be very confused at first. Considering you are able to talk to him so well, but with other people, you hide behind his back a. It might take him a few seconds until he realizes what is going on. If people are talking to you, he’ll will notice you trying to talk but nothing is coming out. He puts on his big boy pants and nods his head, telling them answers they may want and if they are really pushy, tell them to leave you and him the heck alone. You’re already nervous as is, and them pressuring you isn’t going to be any better and just make Noctis more agitated.

Knowing fully well how it is to be unable to talk sometimes, Prompto will definitely make sure you are feeling comfortable. The first few times, he makes sure that you are comfortable and will be like Noctis, talking for you when you need it and asking you, letting you just whisper answers. (He doesn’t know what you are thinking, so might as well ask!) Prompto will try to help you get over that shyness by introducing you to smaller groups. But he knows if it doesn’t help at all, he’s happy to just keep you smiling and do what makes you comfortable.

Papa bear Gladiolus is going to find your inability to talk the cutest thing ever. He’ll probably mock you playfully a bit when you two are alone about it but he takes this very seriously when you two are actually out with people. People give you shit, he is going to screw them up. (Unless you tug on him and say no. He’s gotta make his boo happy, you know.) He’s a charismatic guy so him talking for you is no issue. But you know, to seriously help this problem, he’s going to teach you to stand tall and look intimidating. Gladio’s not really sure how it would work, but you’re gonna look like a damn cut and fierce kitten or puppy while doing it.

Because he’s the most practical one of the group, Ignis won’t try to force you to talk at all. He’ll let you get used to the conversation and if you do feel like you can finally speak without being nervous, he’s happy. But Iggy comes prepared. You can’t speak, but you can still write can’t you? He makes sure to bring a pen/pencil and paper for you to write in until you feel comfortable with those that you are around. Ignis has the patience of a god. He lets you do you, even if you are a quiet, lil’ thing.

anonymous asked:

Number 57 with H2OVanoss?

Jon was taking Evan out on a date.

Which wasn’t a first. Jon just loved showing off that he had a hot man all to himself. Evan was laughing as Jon pushed him into a puddle. “Dudee it looks like I wet myself. Fuck you.”

“I would gladly appreciate that~”

Evan chuckles at that. Jon was always joking like that. Evan loved it. Evan loved when he joked like that. It made him want him more. Then they ran into some of their friends. “Oh hey guys!” Brian says as he hugs Evan. Jon tensed up as he saw this. Evan was smiling and laughing as Brian talked to him.

What kinda bullshit was this. “Hey Even.. What about-..?”

“Come on Jonathan lets hang out with our friends.. We never see them. Please?” Evan gave Jon the puppy eyes. Shit. He can’t resist those.. Fuck why was he so cute. “Fine.” Jon said and Evan grins hugely.

Then for the next few hours they caught up with their friends. Jon wasn’t having the worst time. Well it would be better if Evan would stop talking to Brian. What did Brian have that he didn’t?

Well he was a pretty hot guy… But Evan was his boyfriend not.. Brian’s.

Jon grumbles to himself. “You okay Jon?” Luke asked and Jon grins hugely. “Spectacular.” He said sarcastically. “Jeez.. What the fuck is making your panties get in a twist?”

Jon points at Evan and Brian. Brian had an arm around Evan and shuffled his hair all over the place. Luke follows where his finger is pointed and snorts. “Brian is dating Brock.”

Wait.. Shit really?

Evan heard that and he walks over. “Whats wrong?” Evan ask. Evan looks at Jon. Jon laughs awkwardly. “Oh.. Nothing. I am great!”

Evan knew when Jon was lying. “Jonathannnn~” Jon just looks away annoyed. Slowly their friends drifted their own directions as to leave the couple to their chat.

“Wait a second… Are you jealous?”

Evan feels himself laugh and Jon blushes slightly. “What.? OF COURSE NOT!”

“LIAR YOU WERE TOTALLY JEALOUS.. AND of Brian?”

“You guys were all over each other.”

“BRIAN HAS A BOYFRIEND!!!!”

Well.. Jon knew that now.. He felt like an idiot. “I love you Jon! Not Brian!” 

“You mean it?”

Jon looks at Evan with his signature grin. “What bitch you aren’t saying I love you too. Alright. I take it back I love Brian.”

“EVAN I LOVE YOU TOO!”

“EVAN COME BACK!!!!”

things my mom has said about monsta x

mom vs intro to monbebe life

• what’s my cutie’s name? i like him, that one! *points at minhyuk*
• i.m means instant messenger that can’t be his name! that’s it i’m calling him aol from now on
• what’s a chankyun? and what is jookyun?
• haha ur bias is short
• orejita is so hot, damn..
• arms!!! omg is that a stripper- i mean who is he?? (just asking, for science)
• bembita is so pretty, and those liippss;;
• repeat of mocking my bias’ height (ily kihyun issok boo)
• im still calling him aol idk- ooh he speaks english?? niicee
• HE LOOKS SO TOUGH AND RAPS SO HARD BUT HE’S ALL AEGYO??!! wtf
• whooaa aol has a deep voice

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Husband Reacts to 1D: Iconic “Larry Stylinson” Moments 20-11

In honor of Louis filtering out “Larry” from his Instagram comments, it’s time for Part 2 of Husband Reacts to “Iconic Larry Stylinson Moments.” This was a frequently suggested topic, and Hubs already tackled Moments 30-21.

I dunno, honestly, Hubs thought this was stupid and stopped paying attention about halfway through. I totally agree with him, but I’m super busy with moving these next few weeks and didn’t feel like putting too much effort into a post, so here’s his sarcastic reactions to some stupid “Larry” moments. I’m sorry I just couldn’t take this seriously.

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Spin the Bottle (pt 6)

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8

(We will also be following everyone who reblogs this fic :D)

The nurse cleans up your nose quickly, deciding it isn’t broken by prodding and pushing it in all manner of painful ways. She tells you to wait while she looks at Stacy, who is now awake and glaring at you and Nat from across the room.

“What did you do to her?” You whisper to Nat, who had been allowed to stay in the room with you purely because you pretended to pass out from grief every time she was made to leave.

“Oh nothing major. Just a way to knock her out quickly. Don’t worry about it.” She says casually, shrugging.

“Don’t worry about it?! Nat you knocked someone out in seconds!” You hiss, staring at her. She sighs and shrugs again.

“I train a lot. Martial arts, boxing, all that sort of stuff. I…I didn’t get treated great as a kid so I wanted to make sure I could look after myself you know. Just don’t worry about it.” She looks away from you, her cheeks slightly pink, so you don’t push it.

“Well at least is Stacy grabs a needle and lunges for me you can protect me right?” You ask, Nat laughing slightly.

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Misunderstandings | Jeon Wonwoo | Part 6/14

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo X Reader

Summary: You thought he was a devil worshipper, he thought you were a stalker. Turns out, both of you were wrong.

Genre: fluff/angst/comedy

Word Count: 1,795

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okay everyone just shut up !!

Malec guys, MALEC!!

Originally posted by magnusandalec

can we fucking talk about this?? like holy shit???

Okay let me get my thoughts together

This scene literally kills me, every single time I watch it. As much as I love seeing Magnus being all coy and flirty, this damn moment is something I cherish way more than any suggestive look Magnus could throw Alec’s way.

Why?

Let me tell you. 

We’ve got Magnus plainly spelling out his desires to Alec, and Alec being the adorable puppy that he is, stuttering and uncertain. Then Magnus silences him without even touching him, and says simply “I understand.”

I love this. Magnus says “I understand” immediately when Alec expresses uncertainty, he’s not trying to push him or pressure him, he doesn’t want Alec to feel uncomfortable or forced. Magnus Bane could have anything he wants, he could probably have Alec now if he truly wanted to force him, it would be easy he’s so powerful, but instead he instantly respects Alec’s boundaries and backs off the minute he starts to be uncomfortable. He’s so respectful and mindful of Alec’s situation and he wants Alec to know that he truly understands and wouldn’t ever try to force him into something if he’s not ready, he’s willing to wait as long as it takes. 

Magnus Bane is so undeniably understanding and kind when it comes to Alec’s needs and wants. If Alec doesn’t give permission Magnus won’t lay a finger on him, won’t do anything other than harmlessly look and make a few shrewd comments unless Alec wants him to stop (but we all know he doesn’t). The patience of a warlock who’s as old as Magnus is a gift, he’s learned to wait, waiting is immortals do best after all. 

He’s not upset that he can’t have Alec, he’s not angry with him he doesn’t try to make him feel any less than he is, he reassures him that it’s okay to be unsure and uncertain and Magnus won’t do a thing until Alec wants him to, and that’s what I adore about Magnus. He’s putting his own wants beside in favour of what Alec needs because he cares about Alec like no one ever has before (except Izzy of course) and Alec must be so relieved and shocked that someone is putting him first for once, he doesn’t have to explain himself to Magnus, doesn’t have to justify himself, he can just be himself and Magnus understands.

Guys, this is why I love malec.

Sex God | Oneshot

Words: 1,067
Pairing: Brief Hollstein
Rating: K
Summary: ‘what about a ‘hey i’m sorry to bother you but i’m trying to convince my friends i’m a sex god so can you please write a fake number on this napkin for me real quick’ au’

“Admit it, Carmilla. You’re not as much of a sex god as you make yourself out to be.”

Carmilla scoffed, lifting her head and looking towards LaFontaine with a raised eyebrow. “Are you kidding me? I could get any girl in this club, right here, right now.” And it was true. Probably.

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ian moves into mickey’s apartment.

[chicago pd series part 6 - 1500 words - ao3]

“You’re a horrible person,” Debbie told Mickey, crossing her arms across her chest and glaring at him, that extra-special Gallagher glare that Mickey had learned to fear.

Mickey made a face. “Excuse me?” he asked, because he was not a horrible person. He was a cop. He saved people’s lives.

“You’re stealing Ian.“

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RANDOM STARTER SENTENCES! (inspired by facebook conversations with friends)

Send one to my askbox!

“So, uh…you like snowcones?”
“But that was MY first date!”
“WHERE’S MY HUT?”
“How did you even jump that high?!”
“Luigi.”
“Are you even human?”
“What’s with your accent?”
“NERD.”
“4000 FUCKING ATTACK POINTS.”
“Please tell me it’s wet ‘cause it’s pee.”
“I swear this guy died.”
“WHAT THE FUCK? I SHOULD’VE KEPT THAT FOR MYSELF.”
“I’m off to become Richard Dean Anderson!”
“Shush, I’m writing my smut.”
“HERE, DICKBISCUITS.”
“Shrek has explored her swamp.”
“Hey, it’s that guy involved with human trafficking.”
“It’s for SCIENCE!”
“Aaaaaaannnnd he just fainted.”
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY PIZZA?”
“You don’t know what Space Jam is?!”
“Stop masturbating!”
“STOP TALKING ABOUT DICKS.”
“Whoa. Looks nothing like a dragon.”
“I am very disappointing.”
“I DIDN’T KNOW IT HAD A NAME, GIOVANNI.”
“Touch the didgeridoo.”
“MY BACK IS BLEEDING.”
“Stop trying to cut off my dick all the time.”
“Expand the land, bitches.”
“I’M NOT WASTING A GOOD ARROW ON HIM.”
“Can I kill someone yet?”
“GAYTIME IS BEING GAY INSTEAD OF DOING EXTREME GAY 2.”
“How would fucking an article of clothing make you popular?”
“Gand then Demitri came pizza.”
“BUT THAT’S THE THING THAT MAKES ME A BOY.”
“What’s a petticoat because I want one.”
“Spaceballs reference!”
“AU where I exist.”
“THE MIGHTYENA DIED.”
“Expand sea? Expand land? Expand Sealand!”
“Commence the punishment.”
“Buy me Yugioh cards.”
“I didn’t sign up for this.”
“I’M NOT A VIRGIN I ADOPTED THE TWO KIDS…wait.”
“So, my dick is in your pickle jar now?”
“I like gay pirates too.”
“But he’s like 25 and she’s like 12!”
“I’m so hitting that silver-haired boy.”
“That Dorito looks like a dick.”
“I’M NOT LESBIAN CINDERELLA.”
“So….Light is Kira.”
“Who’s Robin Thicke?”
“Baby shampoo is the true essence.”
“What’s a Macklemore?”
“Why are all demons, butlers? Why can’t they be butchers? Or florists?”
“FICTIONAL CHARACTERS AREN’T REAL MY HEART HURTS.”
“Stop spoiling Supernatural!”
“I don’t want to be a girl anymore.”
“I owned that phrase since before I was born!”
“MY BAG LOOKS LIKE A T-SHIRT.”
“Why am I friends with you guys again?”
“I hate you all.”
“THE CHEF DORM GUY MADE A SEINFELD REFERENCE.”
“Let’s just all move to Finland.”
“I’VE BEEN WAITING, FOR A GIIIRL LIKE YOU.”
“You know, that guy from the thing?”
“WHY DOES WOBUFFET KEEP ESCAPING THE POKEBALL? WHY?”
“Lame.”
“I want pizza.”
“Gay.”
“STOP SAYING GAY OUT OF CONTEXT.”
“That’s what she said.”
“You are now banned from Dad jokes.”
“STOP WITH THE YUGIOH PORN.”
“I can’t believe you used to go out with her.”
“Remember when you thought you were straight?”
“HE DIED.”
“Buy me Pokemon so I can get to Lavender Town.”
“Wait, buy me a Gameboy.”
“What’s a Sega?”
“THE BATTLE MUSIC IS SO FUCKIN’ INTENSE.”
“No, not literal shit!”
“What are you, 5?”
“No, I’m Dad.”
“Can I have a cookie?”
“I wanna be the Old Spice guy.”
“DeviantFART.”
“HE’S OLD THOUGH WHY DO I LOVE HIM?!”
“Stop copying me!”
“I’m so lonely.”
“They look just like you!”
“I exploded and you don’t even care.”
“Do you two ever stop roleplaying?”
“That’s not even a word.”
“Fish juice fell on me!”
“Well if you’re dead looks like we can’t be in a relationship anymore. No necro.”
“You’re cuter than a billion puppies.”
“You have a Dr. Horrible fetish.”
“Spongebob is staring into my soul.”
“SHE’S NOT LITERALLY TALKING ABOUT MILKSHAKES.”
“Son.”
“That’s it, I’m getting new friends.”

Since They Shit On So Much That Was Gallavich Tonight

Having Ian being all dismissive of the dugouts as just one of the many, many places he had meaningless sex, and then not only having Ian playing second, but shooting cow-eyed looks at the guy playing (but not pissing on) first, and Ian acting so dumb about going on a date as if it had never occurred to him/been something he wanted badly before, it started me thinking about what else the writers will ruin from the Gallavich canon.  Here’s some of my predictions:

The “date” will be at Sizzler.

The first time they kiss, Ian will initiate it and land it-something he never did onscreen with Mickey-as Move It Like U Stole It plays in the background.

They’ll get to have a full beginning to end sex scene, and it’ll start with Caleb saying, “Take your fucking jacket off”, and then during (while he’s topping), Caleb will yell, “What you and I have makes me free!” and at the end, Caleb will say apropos of nothing, “Tough Guy.”

They will window shop at Macy’s.

They will spread a blanket out and look at the stars.

They’ll go for a stroll, and Ian will stop and turn on the sidewalk so he’s facing Caleb, and he’ll look at him with the big puppy eyes and earnestly say, “I’ve never said this to anyone before, because I never felt this before, but…I…I…I (with the cutest little stammer) love you."  And the camera will pan back and we’ll see that they’re standing in front of the Milkovich house.

Okay, so I have this theory about Blainofsky. I’ve been thinking about it since the hiatus and I know there’s still a fair bit about their relationship we haven’t seen yet, but I’m just going to put this out there…

I think Blaine and Dave’s relationship has next to nothing to do with Blaine. It’s all about Kurt.

100% both Karofsky and Klaine friendly. Don’t like it, don’t read it.

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Y'all talking about crushes?? Oooh...

Let me add something… :) -clears throat-

HIGH SCHOOL BOYS AIN’T SHIT
FUCK ALL THESE NIGGAS
THEY THINK FEELINGS ARE A GAME AND THEY GO FOR THESE HOES JUST BC THEY LOOK GOOD RATHER THAN GOING FOR THE ONES THAT HAVE SOMETHING OTHER THAN PUSSY TO OFFER
I’M GONNA GROW UP & GET AN APARTMENT AND LIVE WITH MY CAT NAMED PHILLIP & A PITBULL PUPPY NAMED ZAZZLES