eruri of the month
may 2017. theme: daddy
“Commander Smith?” A timid voice called from behind the office door.
“It’s open,” Levi called back. After a moment of no response, Levi sighed, setting down the papers he was working on and heading to the door.
He opened it to see a cadet, hands full of unopened letters. Her eyes widened in surprise when she realized who was in front of her.
“Oh!” she squeaked, “Captain Levi, Sir!” She reflexively moved her hands, probably trying to salute, but quickly changed her course when the stack of letters began to wobble dangerously. Levi only quirked an eyebrow at her as she righted the papers and herself, growing more flustered by the second.
“These, um - mail! For Commander Smith,” she said nervously.
“Inside,” said Levi, turning to hold the door open for her as she made her way to the desk. Erwin was so involved with his paperwork that he hadn’t looked up the entire time, but when the cadet set her stack down on the incoming mail tray, he made sure to give her a smile and thanks.
Looking flustered, she mumbled something and left the room quickly, no doubt embarrassed by everything that had occurred. Levi shut the door behind her, attention on Erwin. It was only mid-morning but already he looked tired, lethargy in his movements as he reached for the next paper in the pile.
Levi returned to his seat, working in silence to help Erwin finish up his endless paperwork. Frowning as he worked, Levi remembers how foolishly an hour ago he had hoped that they would be finished in time to take a nice break together in the afternoon.
Levi sighs internally, reaching for the next paper in the pile and slicing it open before reading the return address. He unfolded what turned out to be a personal letter from Nile Dawk.
“Oi, Erwin,” Levi said, pulling the commander from his intense focus, “Read this one.” Levi plopped the letter down on top of whatever Erwin was working on, moving himself over Erwin’s shoulder to get a better view.
Erwin read quickly through the letter, smiling softly by the end. “They named their son after me, and Mike,” Erwin said tenderly. He pointed to a spot on the page where Levi saw Erwin Michael Dawk.
“Better than Nile Jr.,” Levi deadpanned and Erwin laughed a little.
“Their eldest is already Nile Jr.,” Erwin smiled up at him, “and they have a daughter, Rosie.”
As Levi took in Erwin’s gentle expression, something occurred to him. “You want children?” he blurted out, surprised.
Erwin’s smile faltered infinitesimally, and he looked back to the letter. Levi spent the next few seconds trying to figure out how to bring the mood back up before Erwin spoke.
“I love children. My father was a school teacher, and he often spoke of how inspiring the kids were. He believed in the promise of a new generation and sought to encourage their success through education. I believe in his dream as well, but instead of teaching children how to read and write, I teach them to fight and to die.”
Levi watched Erwin closely, allowing him a moment of frustration before laying his hand gently on his lover’s shoulder. Erwin placed his hand over Levi’s, much bigger but just as calloused. Erwin squeezed Levi’s hand once before turning to look up at him, a new passion in his eyes.
“In another life, I might have children. But here, now.. protecting the lives of those already living is more important than me personally adding to the population.”
Levi imagined Erwin with a son as beautiful as his father. Looking away, he said softly, “In another life, we still couldn’t get pregnant.”
Erwin called Levi’s name gently, standing to bring himself closer. Erwin placed a hand on Levi’s cheek, guiding his face back to meet eyes. “We can adopt,” Erwin smiled, “I wouldn’t want to raise children with anyone else.”
Levi blushed slightly, wanting to turn away again but deciding to lean up and kiss Erwin on the lips instead. Levi felt Erwin’s smile, and Erwin chased his lips when he pulled away a moment later. Levi rested his head on Erwin’s broad chest, wrapping his arms around his waist and Erwin held him back, a soothing hand running through his hair.
Despite his lack of offspring, Levi thought Erwin seemed happy in this moment. Content, together. Levi allowed himself a tight squeeze before pulling away, moving back to his chair with all the dry paperwork waiting to be unfolded and read. Levi looked over at Erwin from across the desk to find Erwin looking back at him, a tender smile still on his face. Erwin’s eyes were still tired, but lighter now. Levi sent a genuine smile back at him before digging into the work pile.
As he settled into the sounds of gliding pens and shifting papers, Levi promised himself that he would see that smile again later that evening, right before trying very enthusiastically to get Erwin not pregnant.