look at that mouse

peppermintclown24  asked:

How do clowns mate/re-produce?

I’ve been waiting for this question since day one, pal. Thank

Ok, so, let’s start at the beginning. Clown courting is traditionally what you might imagine a 30 second clip of Mickey and Minnie mouse falling in love would look like. Toe twirling while getting a gift of flowers, lighthearted play, and, as it is in humans, more attention given to each other rather than others.

However, a recent break off from this has formed with more nsfw jokes. Finger-in-the-hole, 69 jokes, even random licking if theyre late in the courting cycle.

Disturbingly enough to new clown owners, these behaviors can happen to them as well!! Just like ostriches, clowns will sometimes try and court their human owners. It’s just as easy as ignoring them to get them to quit, though!

The breeding/genitals themselves are kind of odd, compered to ours. They have both four heads, and a knot, like some unholy dick-mixture of echidnas and dogs. It probably sounds scary, as a human, but it’s what’s efficient.

Lemme break down the uses of those individual parts for you, because not everyones gonna automatically know it. The four heads? As of yet, unknown purpose. My best guess is in case one breaks off! The knot? Long lasting ejaculation. Can’t have ole Jimmy the Bozo running around the tent with his “cream” dripping ev’rywhere!

Now, the clown is one of a few egg laying mammals. The egg will grow to about the size of a beach ball within your average sized clown (about 5 ft., lemme guess. The egg bearer will swell, bigger than average if they’ve got more than one, until they build a nest of handkerchief chains and lay them. Then, the couple will spend two weeks caring for the eggs, shining them and playing pretend that they’re already a baby, until the clowns nose their way out with, scarily to someone who may know about clowns but not their reproductive ways, their noses; They are born with a small, hard covering on their nose.

From then on, they’re essentially a very small fully grown clown. They won’t usually Grow In To their eggs, so dont worry if you shine a light through and dont see much at the edges.

So, all in all, not very similar in the biology, but pretty similar in the courting.

Thats all I know! If you have any more questions, such as “What the fuck Spooky why do you know all this”, feel free to drop them!

nsfw

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Originally first in line to be crowned King of Disney Castle, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit disappeared many years ago under mysterious circumstances. (Read more under the cut if you like! Sorry if I get stuff wrong about anything.)

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