look at my tears because so pretty

anonymous asked:

hi! im a 14 year old touhou fan and your art always cheers me up. your art is so soft and pretty and i love that you draw touhou ships that arent all sexualized for straight guys to look at, because as a lesbian in the fandom its hard to find that kind of stuff. one day id like to be as good of an artist as you and youre pretty much my role model at this point. thank you!

hi oh my god this ask made me actually start crying because you sound just like me when i was 14 and a lesbian and i looked up to other artists and wanted to someday have people look up to me i wish i were exaggerating but halfway through writing this ask i had to pause because my tears were making the screen too blurry to read lgsjkhsdgs

thank you so much for telling me this, i often feel like my time in the past 3 or 4 years has gone to waste but im so glad i could influence people like i used to be back then!!!!! i’ll keep doing my best

bluesey ? ?? ? is literally one of the Purest Most Wholesome relationships ive ever read with my own two eyes  .  Y’all . that scene ? ?? ? where gansey tucks blue into his overcoat?  11/10  . every single one of their phone calls? ?  truly Inspiring . top notch  . the topest notch , , .  the scene where they’re being all secrety and whispery and gansey lets out this “tremendous” laugh suddenly and he just looks So Pretty smiling and blue’s thought process is literally “oh no!”? ? thats some . Quality stuff my friends . Quality  . and  that one scene, ,, , where all the boys go to nino’s because blue’s working and they wanna show her the magic box and gansey just .. joyfully cries “Jane!” like, it’s not even really a bluesey scene but fam ,,,. Fam. also,,, lets not forget the lampshade scene . “whatever sort of lamp it belonged to, Gansey looked like he wanted one” can you believe gansey looking at blue with constant heart eyes is a for real canon thing . brings a tear to my eye that does :’’’’) . and then theres the scene where blue literally thinks “she just wanted to keep being Gansey’s best friend forever, and maybe one day also have carnal knowledge of him.” have y’all ever read anything so Good? golly . and then of course . .. .. theres the yogurt scenes . … fam i love those scenes so much for multiple reasons but one of those reasons is that. blue literally has to Look Away when gansey puts the spoon in his mouth . binch . what do y’all think she was thinking then? ? the same thing gansey was ? something  l e w d  probably lord knows that girl has no chill,, ,,, jesus .then theres The Scene .. y’all know the one . . the “I like you an awful lot, Blue Sargent” scene ..  .. .The Scene That Cured All My Ailments. . aLsO tHaT oNe ScEnE wHeRe GaNsEy LiTeRaLlY ,,, “I suppose… She makes me quiet.” yEA H SHE DOES BOI YEAH SHE DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not to mENTION1!! THEIR PRETEND KISSES AKA THE SCENES WHERE I MCFREAKING LOST IT  , ;;FITE ME BLUESEY IS SO G O OD 

it’s midnight again
and i’m on my roof top
looking at the constellations
with a cigarette and cold tears running off my face

i’ve listened to the same 3 songs on repeat
hoping that they’d help me
but sadly they only get old
and i only become annoyed and weak

the nights cold breeze freezes me
but i’m okay with it
even though i don’t wanna die
it seems like a pretty good option right now

the moon shines bright
and i see our shadows running off together
but that’s just imaginative
because you never came back

so as i freeze to death on my roof
with my almost burnt out cig
and my music blasting high
maybe i’ll find comfort in the cold

or maybe not
i don’t know
i’m just stupid
and afraid

Bts Reaction To You Being Insecure

Request:Hi could you do a reaction where the members want to have sex but you are too embarrassed to take off your shirt b/c your boobs are small?

Admin:Reva

A/N: Oh god, I relate to this so much. Thanks for requesting💕

Jin

His hands roamed your back, pulling you closer as the two of you kissed, tongues fighting for dominance. You threw your head back and moaned, fingernails digging into his shoulders. Seokjin smiled softly, pulling away to observe your flushed skin and red lips. He started to slip his hands underneath your shirt, slowly pulling it off. In a hurry you grabbed the hem and let it drape around you once again. You consciously covered your chest, cheeks red and a nervous look on your face.

He frowned, “Baby, what’s wrong?”, he wasn’t angry, just confused.

“I-I, um, I don’t know, can we just do it with my shirt on? I’m cold.”

“Honey, if you don’t want to do it we can st-”

“No! I mean no, I just don’t like them.” You looked down, blushing, slightly stuttering. “I just don’t like my boobs.”

“Y/N, why would you worry about that?” He cooed, pushing your hair out your face.

“Their too small and they don’t bounce or do anything! They just kind of there, like little bumps.”

“You’re beautiful, Y/N, but I understand if you don’t want to do it right now.”

Originally posted by bwiseoks

Yoongi

Yoongi was confused every time you had sex you never took your shirt off, only telling him to take you from behind, stripped from any clothing on your lower half and you always flinched and pushed him away when his hands tried to slide under your shirt to touch your boobs. He’d finally coaxed you  to remover your jumper which left you in a plain vest and bra. You were looking down, hair falling into your eyes and hands itching to cover you.

“Wow.“ Yoongi was in awe, mouth open, tongue slipping out to lick his chapped lips.

“I’m sorry, their not very bi-” He hushed you with a kiss to the lips, pulling away for air, smiling the prettiest gummy smile at you. He attempted to pull your vest up and you hesitated.

“Y/N, do you think I care?” He asked, eyebrow raised, hands comfortingly rubbing up and down your sides.

“Well, maybe? I mean some guys are like that.”

“Well, I don’t, baby. I love you for who you are, not your chest size. Now please take your bra off and let me fuck you.”

Originally posted by seokjins-wings

Hoseok

"W-wait, I want to keep it on.” Hoseok was fumbling with the buttons on your shirt, stopping when you uttered the words hastily.

“Why’s that, babe?”

“Just because, to spice things up a bit.” He looked at you doubt, frowning when he noticed you holding your breasts through your shirt.

“Babe, it’s not that again is it?” He gave you disappointed look, removing your hands.

“Maybe?”

“Babe, we’ve talked about this, I love you and your body, it’s beautiful. Plus I’ve seen you naked tons!” Hoseok smiled, jumping onto you and letting you fall into the plush mattress. You giggled as he traced kisses down your neck, starting to unbutton your shirt. You held your breath in fear of rejection, he started to kiss your breasts, leaving pretty marks on your skin.

“Fuck you’re so beautiful, princess.”

Originally posted by nochuie

Namjoon

“Take your shirt off.” He whispered against your body, too busy fiddling with his zipper. When he looked up he expected to see your breasts on display, bare and ready for him to claim. “Babe, are you okay?” He noticed you biting your lips, tears gathering in your eyes.

“No, I’m sorry Joon,” You whimpered, falling into his comforting arms, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Namjoon asked, confused beyond belief. But it hurt him when he saw the look of pure distress on your face.

“These,” you pointed down at your breasts, “there not big and fluffy and bouncy and, and they don’t look pretty in dresses or anything! I don’t understand how you like them.”

“I don’t like them,” you gasped in shock, more tears falling, “I love them, Y/N. Just like I love every other part of you.” You smiled as he kindly wiped your tears.

“Everyone has insecurities, baby. That’s why you have me to help you through them and I have you!”

Originally posted by ksjknj

Jimin

The gentlest smile was placed upon his face as he watched you undress, biting his lip when you dragged your hand up to your shirt. But then you hesitated, dropping it and letting it hang. “Princess, what’s wrong?"He pulled you down into his lap.

"Do you like my boobs, Jimin? Because I fucking hate them, I wish they were big and pretty but I’m basically fucking flat chested.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that, princess. Everyone’s different, but trust me I’d love you just the same if you looked completely different.”

Originally posted by jiminrolls

Taehyung

He was placing sloppy kisses on your lips, trying to slide you out of your shirt. “Stop!” You whimpered as he almost got it off of you.

“Baby, what’s wrong?! Did I hurt you?” He pulled away, rushing to wipe the tears from your face and cuddle you.

“No,” you nuzzled into his neck, cringing in embarrassment, “Taetae, do my boobs look good?”

Without even thinking he answered, “So fucking good, oh my god! Especially when you’re wearing that red dress, Jesus Christ!” He noticed you blushing and figured out that that was the issue.

“Don’t ever cry about this again, okay? You know why, because I’m supporting girls in the itty-bitty titty committee!”

Originally posted by piedpiper405

Jeongguk

This boy was nervous when you started undressing him to reveal his toned body, but his breath hitched when you removed your skirt, showing off your pretty legs. He moved closer and tried to tug of your shirt, in alarm you pulled away and hit your head on the headboard, letting out a small ‘ow’ as you did. “Y/N! Are you okay? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean too, oh god I must’ve made you feel so uncomfortable! I’m sorry, I don’t want to rush you. I just want you to know I’ll wait as long as you want!” You couldn’t help but giggle at his rant.

“It’s fine Gukkie.” You stroked his hair, “I’m just scared you might be disappointed. I’m not like other girls, I’m kind of, um, flat.” He frowned, tilting your chin to look into his eyes.

“You seriously think I’d be disappointed seeing such a goddess naked? Fuck I’m fucking blessed to have you Y/N, but god I’d be fucking holy to see you naked!” You blushed looking down and then attacking him in a hug.

“If it makes you feel any better, hyung said if I keep going to the gym I’ll get boobs.”

Originally posted by jkguks

Wicked Game ~ Peter Parker

Summary: Peter Parker’s best friend falls in love with him and holds back her feelings until she can’t take it anymore, but Peter’s heart is already taken by another.

word count: 1,420

Warnings: Angst, couple swears

Based on the song Wicked Game by Ursine Vulpine

Peter Parker was the perfect boy. He was smart, handsome, clever, and kind. Everything

I look for in a guy. I mean I shouldn’t be so surprised I fell in love with him. He’s basically a Disney prince, but ten times more charming. I’ve been friends with Peter since I was 3 years old. Our parents had worked together until they passed away. I confronted him through everything, I was even the first person he told about how he became Spiderman. I was the person who held him after his Uncle Ben died. I was there for everything. Which made me think I had a chance  I was a fool to think Peter actually had feelings for me.

———————

“Y/n come on we have to get to class” I heard Peter exclaim.

“Yeah whatever, school sucks” I giggled chasing after him since he had gotten ahead. I walked into the school which had definitely changed over night. There were homecoming posters and decorations.

“Are we still on for watching Lord of the Rings tonight Pete?” I asked as we stopped at my locker. As I was twisting the lock I felt Peters breath on my neck.

“As soon as I’m done fighting crime I’ll be over” he whispered sending shivers down my spine.

“Okay,” I said so quietly I’m pretty sure he didn’t hear me.

“Peter let’s go,” I said turning around, but he was already gone and talking to Liz which made my blood boil.

“And again I’m talking to myself because of her,” I said under my breath my voice laced with annoyance. I curled my fists in a ball. The way he looked at her made me so angry and I don’t know why. He’s just my best friend. Nothing else and that’s period. Right?  I walked away from the scene not wanting to witness anything else. At this point, I just want to go home. I could feel my heart ache all day, but why? I can’t be mad at Peter for talking to other girls I’m not the only person in his life. We’re just best friends. I’m just wondering why it hurts so much.

I went through my classes until the final bell finally rang. I let out a sigh of relief and practically ran out the door. I’m 110% sure I don’t want to deal with Peter right now. So I may or may not have run home. Okay, I did, but I mean at least I actually got exercise instead of having my head buried in a book or laptop. I got my keys out of my backpack and as I was turning the lock I heard Peter talking to Ned. It really sucks when the person you’re trying to avoid lives in the same apartment as you. I opened the door and scrambled into my apartment faster than humanly possible and darted to my bedroom. Truthfully I just wanted to be alone. Usually, I come home wanting to read a book, but all I wanted to do is watch sappy romances and cry. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. I felt single tears slide down my face when I heard a knock on the window making me jump and fall out of my bed. I quickly wiped the tear from my eye going to the window and opening it up so Peter could get in. All of the sudden everything was better just seeing his goofy smile warmed my heart and for a split second

I forgot he was even the reason I’m so upset. My world was burning down because of this boy, yet he was the only one who could save me. I flopped down on my bed looking at the ceiling.

“Why have you been avoiding me all day”? He asked

“I am not”

“I literally saw you run from the school I’m pretty sure faster than I can run” he laughed

“Well maybe I just wanted to work out”

“Since when do you work out” he laughed

“Oh my god stop” I giggled grabbing a pillow and whacking him with it.

“Ow seriously,” he said laughing.

“Don’t you have spidey things to do?” I asked

“You seemed upset so I’ll skip it for tonight, I don’t think Queens will go to hell if I take a night off” That sentence melted my heart. He was taking off because I was upset. This boy is literally going to be the death of me. I didn’t realize how close we were. I was staring right into his beautiful brown eyes and all I wanted to do was kiss him. Wait no why would I want to kiss my best friend. I was mentally freaking out so, I quickly sprung off my bed.

“I have to the bathroom” I squeaked, practically running to the bathroom. I opened the bathroom door and immediately shoved it closed and locked the door making sure I heard the click to know it was locked. I went to the sink looking in the mirror. I had this strange feeling to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him. The amount of desire I have for this boy is driving me insane. That’s when it all made sense. I was in love with Peter Parker. He was literally my dream boy. I would have never thought I meet someone like him, But I couldn’t lose him over a simple crush. If love is just a simple crush. My cheeks were flushed red from embarrassment so I swiftly turned on the faucet and splashed water in my face. The cold water wasn’t enough. I grabbed the nearest towel and wiped my face off and then threw it back onto the sink. I sluggishly walked back to my room trying to think of an excuse of why I was freaking out. Why did I have to fall in love? Especially with him. I don’t want to be in love with my best friend. I don’t have a chance so all I can do is a dream, but how long can dream until I go completely insane. I gradually opened the door to find Peter gone. I saw a note lying on the bed. So much for him spending the night with me.

Mr. Stark called it’s super important. I’m so sorry I had to leave. Have a great night Y/N, love Peter

What kind of game is this boy playing? Is he trying to make me fall in love with him? Well if that was the game he won. I grabbed the paper and ripped it in half. I wanted to scream. I was so angry. I was furious. I was so in love with him. Simple crush my ass. I’m drop dead head over heels for Peter. I left the torn up paper on the bed and moved my way over to the bed. I got under the covers, and that’s when I lost it. I was bawling. It was uncontrollable. I swiftly jumped out of my bed. I needed fresh air. I opened up my window and climbed up the fire escape to the roof. I did this when I was upset about something. Now thinking about it. The times I went up here are all because of Peter Parker. Who thought the best thing in my life could cause me so much pain. I sat there, taking deep breaths finally calming myself down. I sniffled wiping the tears from my face.

“Y/N why are you crying” I heard from behind me, scaring the hell out of me. Why does this boy insist on trying to be with me when he the reason for all my problems, but I had enough of it.

“You, I’m so in love with you, and I can’t have you, It took me a long time to realize, but I love you okay, now can you please go away or tell me you feel the same way” I practically screamed leaving him speechless.

“Y/N I-I”

“What Peter just say it,” I said quietly

“I just asked Liz to homecoming” he murmured, and that’s when I felt my heart drop. Why did I fall in love with Peter Parker?

Part 2 maybe ndjwfjkwj

Update! Part 2 has been posted! :)
blind dates are lame- h.s imagine

Originally posted by thedailystyles

“When was the last time you went on a proper date?” Jeff asked Harry. The two of them were sitting across the room from another tossing a hacky sack to each other.

Harry caught the sack and stopped to think for a little bit, “Mmm. I think the last time was back in December.” He threw the sack back over to Jeff.

Jeff sat up on the couch with wide eyes. “Mate! That’s over six months!” Harry laughed while getting up and heading over to the kitchen, “It’s not that big of a deal, really. I’ve just haven’t been interested.

Jeff followed his friend and sat on the counter. “Well now’s the perfect time to start dating. You’ve finished your album. You don’t start tour for a couple of months. You can give your right hand a bit of a break.”

“My right han-..” Harry glanced down. “Oh. Yeah. My right hand.”

Jeff laughed and hopped off the counter and grabbed the water bottle Harry had in his hand. “Listen, I know the perfect girl. Met her down at the bookstore. Her name’s Y/N. Really down to earth kind of girl. Reckon you guys will get along great.”

Harry looked at Jeff with a worried look on his face. “I didn’t know you knew how to read.”

Jeff glared at Harry while Harry laughed softly, “Mate, I’m just not interested in dating right now. Wanna focus on the album. Wanna focus on the tour.”

“Yeah but one date wouldn’t hurt would it? I’ll visit her tomorrow. Tell her you’re interested.”

Harry scratched the back of his neck while leaning against the kitchen island. “I don’t know. Blind dates are kind of..lame aren’t they?”

“Yeah but you’re lame yourself so why not?”

“Oi!”


The bell ringing against the door caused you to look up from the book you were reading behind the cash register. “Hey Jeff! Need to pick up some more journals?” You smiled at your new friend. While Jeff was in town, Harry texted him and asked if he could bring more empty journals. Harry claims he was in the “writing mood.” With a huff of annoyance, Jeff eventually agreed and found a family owned bookstore not to far from where he was. He went in and met Y/N who was honestly a breath of fresh air. She was sweet and charming. She was everything Harry needed in a girl.

“Hey Y/N! No, I’m fine. I came in to talk to you actually.” Jeff connected his hands together and placed them on the counter, as if he was in some kind of business deal.

Y/N dog eared the page she was reading and squinted her eyes slightly at Jeff. “What do you want?”

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N” Jeff sighed. Y/N laughed and crossed her arms and looked at the tall man in front of her.

Jeff gave her a smile and opened his mouth and then closed it. Y/N raised her eyebrow at him. “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N”…

“Get on with it!” Y/N chuckled.

Jeff chuckled himself, “Alright! Alright. How would you feel about going on a date with this guy I know? Really nice. Sweet. Easy on the eyes…”

Y/N placed her hand on her chin and pretended to ponder about the idea of being set up. “Pass.”

Jeff clapped his hands together, “Great! He can pick you up at your place or you guys could meet- Wait. Pass? Why not!”

Y/N walked out from behind the counter and picked up a pile of books that needed to be put away. “I don’t know. The idea of a blind date seems kind of lame.” Jeff quickly followed her and grabbed the books from her arms. “Why does everyone think it’s so lame! You’re lame!” Y/N gave Jeff a look as she put a book onto the shelf. Jeff gave her a sheepish smile, “Sorry that was crude of me. What I mean to say is it’s not lame! I find it rather cute. And what if you guys end up getting married. You can say ‘My dearest friend, the noblest man I know, the most handsome guy that walked on this Earth; set me and your father up’ to your children.” Jeff was shaking his head while staring into the distance, thinking about how much of a hero he’ll look to everyone for setting up the perfect couple.

Y/N snapped her fingers in front of Jeff’s face, “Jeff!”

Jeff quickly came back to Earth and looked at Y/N, “So what do you say?”

Y/N sighed while grabbing the books he was holding back into her arms. “I-..”

“Great! I’ll text you the details!” Jeff shouted while running out of the store before you could object.


Y/N was sitting at the bar of the hotel lobby Jeff texted you to meet Harry at. Being put on a blind date by someone you just met and didn’t even know the last name of required a little alcohol help.

“Gin and tonic, please” a voice called out to the bartender. The stranger sighed and ran his hair through his hair.

You chuckled softly while staring at your wine glass. “Rough night?”

The stranger and looked down at the rings on his hands, “I uh. I don’t know yet. Maybe.”

And on que the both of you looked at each other properly. Harry gasped. You were surely the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Your eyes were instantly wide. Harry Styles was the beautiful man you were going on a date with. Surely he was just in the neighborhood. 

Suddenly Harry felt like he needed to explain his every move to you. “I uh..I’m just waiting for my blind date to arrive but I’m a bit nervous.”

Y/N chuckled at Harry’s words. “Are you Harry?” You quickly scolded yourself in your head and blushed. Of course he was. 

Harry laughed at your mental face palm look on your face and nodded. “Are you, Y/N?”

You gave Harry a small smile and nodded, “I am.”

Harry quickly gave himself a high-five in his head for getting to spend the privilege of getting to be on a date with someone as beautiful as you.

The bartender came over and placed Harry’s drink in front of him. Harry gave him a quick thank you and proceeded to look at you. He smiled and placed his hand out towards the restaurant on the other side of the hotel. “Should we get this blind date started?”

You chuckled and nodded your head. “We shall.” You picked up your things and stood up.

Harry gestured you to go first, “After you.”

As you started to walk away, Harry quickly took his drink and gulped it down. He hissed at the burning alcohol and jogged after you.


You threw your head back in laughter and held your stomach while Harry was laughing pretty loudly himself. “How did you not notice you had a brown stair on your white pants!” You managed to get out in between laughs.

Harry held his hands out in defense, “I thought everyone was staring because they wanted to talk to me! And! I thought they were thinking ‘Wow. How stylish of him to wear those white pants!’”

Y/N finally settled down and wiped a tear from her eyes from laughing so much, “Well it’s good to know my date has such high confidence in himself.”

Harry looked down at his empty plate and chuckled softly, “It is.”

You gave him a smile to which he returned. Suddenly your waiter walked up to you guys, interrupting you guys from admiring one another. “Was there anything else I can do for you guys?”

Harry quickly gave him his credit card. “Go ahead and charge it.” You quickly tried to grab your wallet from your purse, “Here let me.”

Harry shook his head at you. “It’s fine, Y/N.” He then gave a nod to the waiter.

“Harry, you didn’t even look at the bill. Let me at least help.” You said while taking out your credit card. Harry reached over and grabbed your hand, “I got it, love.” Your heart melted at the pet name and both yours and Harry’s hands tinged from one another.

Not wanting the date to end, you and Harry decided to walk to your apartment that was about two blocks away. The whole time getting to know each other more and telling each other incredibly funny stories. Finally the two of you ended up at the front of your door. You turned and looked at Harry who was already smiling down at you. “I had a great time, Harry.”

Harry nodded his head, “I did too.” The two of you started leaning in when Harry was the one that finally brought his lips to yours. You smiled into the kiss and wrapped your arms around your neck. When the both of you pulled away, Harry rested his forehead against yours. “I usually don’t have the first kiss until the third date..” You whispered. Harry smiled, “Guess we’ll have to have another date then. You smiled and nodded, this time you were the one to kiss him first.

With one last kiss and the promise of another date, Harry left and you walked into your apartment. Both of you had the same smile and the same thought in your head, “Have to thank Jeff for that.”

Maybe blind dates weren’t that lame after all.



thank you guys so much for reading! let me know what you guys think! requests are always welcomed!

*that beaut of a gif is sadly not mine!

BTS reacting to you asking to do a sex tape - rap line

bts reacting ♥ to you asking to do a sex tape ✿ rap linevocal line

words: 2.6k (I am so sorry but the words kept coming)


Namjoon: Namjoon had decided to spend the whole weekend with you since their schedule was rather loose. You had prepared everything in advance, food, drinks, movies you could watch. The thought of spending so much time with him had you smiling all the day before.

Keep reading

The RFA + minor trio as things I have said/done

Yoosung

*On a summer camp, on the phone with my mom* “Yes mom I know my room is a mess, but I swear I’m much cleaner when I share the room with someone!” *kicks three dirty socks and a pair of shorts under the bed*


Zen

“My face is God’s gift to humanity, the only thing that’s better is maltesers”


Jaehee

*Looking at k-pop videos until it all gets too much so I have to take a break* “One day I’m gonna sue your fucking asses for being so pretty”


Jumin

*Looks at my cat walking around and giggles so much I get tears in my eyes because his legs are so cute and smol*


707

*Sings happily* “crunch crunch, chips for lunch”


V

*Drops a piece of pasta in my lap when having dinner with people I don’t know* *doesn’t notice until dessert, when it’s too late and they will realize that I’ve had pasta in my lap for half an hour* *awkwardly puts the pasta in my pocket, then forgets it until i put my phone in the pocket the next day*


Saeran

*Mutters “you don’t deserve it” every time my twin sister asks if I can pass her something, before passing it to her*


Vanderwood

*Complains about needing better friends whenever no one laughs at my unfunny dad jokes*


~jane

Imagine dealing with drunk Chris.

A/N: Man, oh man. I just can’t stay away from writing, can I? Well, at least majority of my holiday stuff’s packed. This is another fic inspired by a conversation with the lovely @chrisevans-imagines We have some very weird, but oddly inspiring conversations. Don’t we, Ava? 😂

You pushed your way through the crowd as you searched the overly packed party for your best friend, Chris, who had drunkenly called you ten times in the last hour; it was 2:19AM. He could count himself incredibly lucky that you were finishing up some paperwork at the hospital otherwise you would’ve killed him for interrupting your much needed beauty sleep. You’d been pulling quite a few late nights over the past week as you were about to take leave and go on your holiday, so things hadn’t been particularly easy on you. But you knew before you went into med-school that being a doctor wasn’t going to be easy, what you didn’t know was how much harder it was being a doctor who was best friends with Chris Evans; a man who had the equivalent energy of his puppy, Dodger. If you weren’t so in-love with him, he wouldn’t get away with half the things he put you through. But you were, so here you were at the party.

“Hello beautiful.” An arm hooked around your waist and pulled you into him; you groaned and pushed the drunken stranger off you. “Geez, lighten up!” He called after you as you disappeared further into the room. If you didn’t find Chris in the next five minutes, you were outta there.

“Hell yeah I’ll get it in!” You heard Chris’ voice and you followed it, chuckling when you found him by the ping pong table. “Don’t you worry, I'mma get it into that cup.” He bounced the ball off the table and balanced it on the back of his hand as he swallowed another gulp of his beer. “Watch me nail this th-” He spotted you and his smile tenfold. “Y/N, you came!” He downed his drink and tossed both ball and red solo cup aside before making his way to you, waving off the protests that came from the other players. “Sorry guys, I’m done. My girl’s here,” he draped an arm around you and pulled you closer to him.

“I’m not your girl, Evans.” You reminded him, but made no effort to push him away from you like you had with the other guy; you were very glad that the dim lights hid your deeply flushed cheeks. “I’m just here to make sure you don’t drink and drive, the last thing I need is to be called back in because someone got into a car accident.”

“Awww,” he cooed, squeezing you tightly against him. “Was someone worried about little old me?” You rolled your eyes, but failed to hide your smile. “Don’t be, my best friend’s a very good doctor. She’s very pretty too, like- she could be on Grey’s Anatomy.” He slurred then grinned when he heard you chuckle. “And that’s you,” he booped your nose, “I’m talking about you.”

“I know, and I’m talking about me too when I say I’ve had a very long night and I’m ready to go home.” He nodded with furrowed brows, really trying to process your words. “C'mon,” you wrapped an arm around his waist and directed him towards the exit, “you’re crashing at my place tonight. I’m not leaving you here when someone could literally tap beer out of you.”

“Yes!” He cheered. “I love your apartment, it smells like Christmas because of all the candles you have.” You hummed in acknowledgement at his drunk thoughts. “Hey, you know what’s really funny?” He didn’t wait for a response. “When I read your texts, I read it in an Australian accent because you’re from Australia. I do the same with Chris Hemsworth’s,” he told you then laughed to himself. “G'day mate,” he mimicked a tradition Australia greeting then laughed again.

“I’ve never once texted that to you, nor have I said that to you,” you chuckled. “And since when do I have an Australian accent? I’ve been living in America since I was eighteen, and you know I watch too much American television and too many Hollywood films to have an Australian accent.” The two of you found your way out of the party and into the much emptier parking lot where you car waited patiently. “But then again,” you glanced at him, “you are very wasted, so I won’t hold that against you.”

“Chuck a shrimp on the barbie,” he continued mocking the Australia accent and laughed when you did. “You’re right,” he returned to his normal accent as he pulled away from you, “you don’t sound like that.” He moved in front of you and took your hands in his, smiling like a love sick idiot which made your heart flutter despite knowing it didn’t mean what you wanted it to. “You sound perfect because you are perfect and I love you.”

“I love you too,” you responded with a chuckle, ignoring that ache in your heart. This wasn’t the first time he’d told you he loved you while he was drunk, in fact- he said it all the time when he was sober too. But it wasn’t the confession you longed for, it was just another platonic expression of affection that you shoved aside with your true feelings. “Let’s get you in bed, shall we?” You tried to pull your hands away only to have him tightened his grip.

“No,” he shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows. “You don’t understand, Y/N. I love you,” he said again in a more serious tone that made you sigh. As much as you wanted to reciprocate that feeling and kiss him, you couldn’t take anything he said seriously when he was drunk. Even if you did believe that drunk minds spoke for a sober heart, it was Chris; he was your best friend and you couldn’t ruin that friendship over a drunken slur of the moment. “I want to be with you,” he told you and pulled his hands away to cup your face.

“Chris, no,” you turned away when he started to lean in, taking a small step back. “We’re not going to do this.” You frowned when he did. “You’re drunk, I don’t want-” you cut yourself off before you said more than you should. “Let’s just go home, okay?” You brushed past him and headed for you car, stopping when he called out.

“I’m sober enough to have this conversation!” He walked in front of you with a frown on his face. “I’ve been trying to tell you I love you since the moment I met you, Y/N. But you keep brushing me off, like you think I’m not worth your time.”

“Chris-” you couldn’t believe you made him feel that way.

“Am I not good enough for you?” He asked then asked again before you could get a word in, “are you holding out for another doctor?” You opened your mouth to speak only to get cut off again, “what is it, Y/N? Why won’t you give me a chance?!” He growled and you flinched. “I don’t understand,” he shook his head, his pretty blues glistened with tears. “I’m not an idiot- I can see the way you look at me, so why won’t you be with me?”

“Chris,” you sighed as you took his hand in yours. “I didn’t know you felt that way about me, I honestly thought that you were fine with us just being friends.” He didn’t say anything, he just squeezed your hand ever so gently. “That’s why I didn’t say anything- that’s why I brushed you off. I figured you were joking, it’s not because I don’t think you’re worth my time.”

“Do you realize how long I’ve been waiting for you?” He asked with a breathless chuckle. “From the moment we met- I’ve wanted to be with you. I was just so terrified I wasn’t good enough, that you wouldn’t want to be with an actor so- I took it slow, I started out by being your friend. But God,” he started to cry and your heart ached, “it hurt seeing you with other people. It sucked saying I love you when you didn’t know how much,” his hand tightened around yours. “I’ve wasted so much of my life not being your other half and I hate it, Y/N.”

“You are my other half, Chris,” you caressed his face with your other hand and brushed the tears rolling down his cheek. “I love you too. I’m so in-love with you that it’s ridiculous,” you told him and he smiled. “There is no one I’d rather see at the end of the day than you. You are my person, you are all I see when I look towards the future,” you assured him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I’m sorry-” He pulled you into his arms and kissed you, cutting you off in the best possible way.

“Wow,” you let out a breathless laugh when he broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against yours.

“Yeah,” he chuckled softly, rubbing small circles into your sides, “I should’ve done that years ago.”

Tags: @chrisevans-imagines @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @xoxomioxoxo @imaginesofdreams @ateliefloresdaprimavera @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @caitsymichelle13 @michellekeehlmello @letterstomyself21 @soymikael @faye22 @always-an-evans-addict @sammyrenae68 @brobrobreja @elizabeth-matsuoka @thegirlwiththeimpala @camerica96 @all-of-the-above11 @captainamerica-ce @whenyourealizethisisntagoodname @yourtropegirl @smoothdogsgirl @createdbytinyaddiction @siofrataylor @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @imaginary-world-of-mine @wanderingkat77 @grantward3 @rileyloves5 @chrsmom302 (Inbox me if you’d like to be added to the tag list)

Wicked Game ~ Peter Parker, Part 2

Summary: Dealing with the aftermath of heartbreak and not talking to Peter for 2 weeks causes the reader to not want to go to homecoming, but MJ forces her to go and the events that happen there may turn the worst 2 weeks to the best 2 weeks of her life.

Warnings: Minor swearing, angst, make out

Word count: 2,589… I got a little carried away whoops


It’s been two weeks since the incident on the rooftop. I haven’t talked to Peter since then. At this point, I could barely look at him without bursting into tears. The truth is beside Peter I didn’t have any friends besides Michelle. I didn’t exactly tell her what happened, but I’m pretty sure she figured out it had to do with Peter. Ignoring Peter wasn’t incredibly hard since we lived in the same apartment. Just because I didn’t want to talk didn’t mean he didn’t. For the first week, he followed me around trying to talk to me. Of course, I had headphones and turned them up as loud as my ears could handle so I couldn’t hear his voice. At least he took the hint and stopped trying to start a conversation. Now he just stares at me. All of the time. I swear he keeps playing this game. Doesn’t he get he already won? The more he looks at me the more my heart breaks. At this point I’m numb. Why the hell did I fall in love with him? I’m such a fool.

“Are you going to tell me what happened between you and Peter or are you just going to sit staring out the window looking like you’re about to cry everyday” I heard Michelle say nonchalantly.

“It’s a long story MJ” I replied

“Good thing this homework we are working on isn’t due tomorrow,” She said putting the books aside.

“I don’t really want t-”

“You can’t keep this to yourself any more Y/N I’m seriously getting worried, I’m not a doctor, but I know hiding something that made you this upset for too long isn’t smart,” she said interrupting me

“He broke my heart” I whispered, tears beginning to fill my eyes as my mind replayed the events of the worst night of my life.

“He doesn’t deserve you Y/N, if he doesn’t see how amazing you are he’s blind, and a fucking idiot to be honest, Do you want me to beat him up for you because I’m totally willing to do that because I hate assholes”

“Oh my god, thank you MJ” I laughed, I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve laughed in the past 2 weeks. MJ may be very shy and unsocial, but once you get to know her she’s amazing. To be completely honest her attitude, in general, is enough to cheer me up. She’s so different and honestly an inspiration. I’m so grateful for her because without her I know this whole Peter thing would be much worse.

“I’ll beat him up in front of the whole school during homecoming” MJ giggled clenching her fists and holding them up like she was going to fight someone.

“You know I’m now going to homecoming, right”?

“Excuse me yes you are, you will not let Peter Parker ruin some of the best moments you’ll ever have in high school. You shouldn’t let him have that power over you, and even if he does don’t let him see that”

“But I can’t bear to see him dancing wi-”

“So don’t look at them, find your own boy to dance with, there will be tons of handsome lonely boys looking for a beautiful girl like you to dance with, you are a strong independent girl and you don’t need Peter Parker to make your life complete, and come on if I agreed to go to homecoming that says a lot since I’m probably the most unsocial person on the planet and I need a friend to come with me so I’m not alone, please come Y/N I’m practically on my knees begging you” MJ blurted. She was right, I can’t let Peter control my life.

“Fine I guess I’ll go but for you,” I said

“Yay! I’m so excited” she exclaimed giving me a hug, good thing I had bought a dress. I would have to wear my one from last years homecoming and to be honest, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t fit.

For the rest of the night, we ate ice cream and watched funny chick flicks and I forgot all about Peter until she had to leave. As much as I don’t want Peter to control my life, but I can’t bear to see Peter dancing with Liz. I think my heart would shatter into a million pieces. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and I looked at myself, I honestly looked like a mess. I had bags under my eyes, my eyes were puffy from crying so much. Why was I letting Peter Parker ruin my life? I should never let a boy ruin my life. I have so much more than Peter Parker. If this game was to break my heart. I shouldn’t let him win. I have to stop moping 24/7 and actually live. Even if I don’t have a date to homecoming it doesn’t mean I won’t find a lonely boy to dance with. After all, it’s completely possible to fall in love more than once. I’m not going to let Peter win. Somehow I managed to find some confidence. It’s time to be my old self again I thought walking from the bathroom. I walked into my room and jumped into my bed and swiftly pulled the covers over me. Tomorrow is a new day, a new me. No more crying over Peter Parker I thought as I drifted into a nice well-needed slumber.

————-

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock, scaring the shit out of me like it always does. I groaned turning off my alarm clock and getting up to walk to my closet to find clothes. Lately, i’ve been wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt to school every day, but that was going to change. I grabbed a pair of skinny jeans and a nice shirt and skipped to the bathroom.

“Why are you so cheerful today honey” I heard my mom say as I skipped past the kitchen to get to the bathroom.

“Homecoming is today, and you know how much I love to dance mom” I practically sung as I closed the bathroom door. Today I needed to show confidence. I needed Peter to know I wasn’t going to mope over him forever. I caught him staring at me countless times this week. I hope showing him I’m getting over him will make him jealous. Wait. no that’s not the point of this I mentally yelled at myself as I grabbed eyeliner and mascara. After I finished putting on makeup, I slipped on my clothes and grabbed my pair of black converse.

“You look cute today Y/N” my mom pointed out.

“Thanks, mom” I answering grabbing my backpack and giving my mom a kiss on the cheek.

“Your father and I aren’t going to be home for a couple of days, we have to go on a business trip, but make sure to send us pictures, I’m sorry we won’t be here,” she said, she obviously felt bad, but they did this all of the time.

“It’s fine” I lied as I walked out the door. A sigh left my mouth. I don’t know why they are always traveling I wish they could actually be home for one special event of mine. No wonder I’m closer to May than my parents, but I can’t see her without seeing Peter. Peter was usually the person who always comforted me when my parents would leave. I felt tears start to sting my eyes. No. I promised myself I would stop crying over him. I blinked away the tears and began walking to school. I walked kind of slow so when I walked in most people were at their lockers. What happened next was pretty weird. It felt like I was in a movie. Everything was going in slow motion and basically, everyone was staring at me. I mean I’m pretty sure it’s because the past two weeks I’ve acted like actual death and looked it too, but then again I didn’t think people noticed.

“Nice ass Y/L/N” I heard Flash say from behind me

“Shut it Flash” I warned, as he put both his hands up laughing. I right as I turned around I ran into someone which knocked me over making me land right on my butt.

“I’m so sor-” I cut myself off as my eyes met with the brown sparkling orbs of
Peter Parker. He was holding out his hand offering to help me up. For some reason, I actually took his hand. I could feel my whole body tingling just from him grabbing my hand. He pulled me up, and I immediately let go of his hand brushing off my pants. I brushed the hair that was in my face behind my ear and stood up straight.

“I’m really sorry about that” I mumble looking down at my feet

“It’s okay” he insisted, I looked up at his face to see a bruise on his face that I hadn’t noticed.

“Oh my god Peter the bruise on your face, who did that to you”I whispered yelled

“It doesn’t matter, the bad guy just got a swing at my face” he stated

“You have to be more careful Peter” I cautioned.

“I am careful you don’t have to worry about me Y/N” he insisted

“Well I do,” I said louder than I wanted to. “I-I h-have to class” I interjected bowing my head and pushing past him to get to class trying to hide the tint of red on my cheeks. That was actually the first semi-normal interaction I had with him in 2 weeks and I barely embarrassed myself. The rest of the day went by pretty fast and MJ and I literally ran home so we could get ready. I went into the bath reapplying and putting more makeup on. I quickly stripped my clothes off and slipped into my dress. I looked into the mirror and I was actually happy with what I saw. I walked out to see Michelle in a beautiful blue dress.

“Dang M, how did you not get a date,” I said

“Well besides from the fact I don’t talk to people, I have no idea” she laughed

“Are you ready to go?” I asked

“Yep, it’s funny how both are always gone for the important things,” She said obviously upset her parents weren’t here too. I gave her a small hug and soft smile and we walked out.

———–

We arrived at the school and walked into the gym. There were balloons everywhere the lights were dim and kids were dancing. MJ and I met up with Ned. I saw Liz walk in without Peter and I raised my eyebrow. I heard the doors open shortly after MJ and I made eye contact with his brown whiskey eyes. I felt like I was staring him for years until MJ pulled me away as Liz grabbed his hand. MJ grabbed my arm and pulled me over to a circle of basically the whole decathlon team dancing, but I still looked towards Peter who surprisingly still has his eyes on me. and I eventually I started to let go and dance to the beat. I felt good the music was upbeat and I was actually having a great time. I took a mental note that I owe MJ Starbucks for making me come to this. There were a couple songs and I dance one dance with Ned, and I even danced with Flash even though I hate him. There was only about 30 minutes left of the dance, and a boy named Isaac who I had couple classes with timidly walked up to me

“Y/N would you like to dance with me,” he asked shyly

“Of course” I replied grabbing his hand and pulling him to the center of the gym. I put my arms around his neck and he put his on my hips and we danced for 2 songs, but I could see and feel Peter’s eyes on me but he was jealous. I knew he was because I’ve known him my whole life and I definitely know when that boy is jealous. He has Liz so why he so bothered by me dancing with someone else.

“You’re distracted by something” he blurted out leaving me a little shocked.

“No, I’m just tired” I insisted

“Hey, look I’m pretty observant, but I’m pretty sure anyone could tell you like Peter Parker a lot more than a friend, and I’m 99.9% positive he feels the same way” He explained

“He is with Liz, he likes Liz, and I already told him how I felt”

“If you haven’t noticed he’s been staring at this whole dance right”

“So what that doesn’t mean anything” I signed looking at my feet.

“Like I said I’m very observant, and the way Peter looks at you is different than he looks at anyone else even Liz” he argued, and I laughed

“You should ask MJ to dance, you guys are very similar” I sighed, still looking at my feet. Soon the song Waves by Dean Lewis came on.

“I’m about to be proven right,” he said triumphantly  

“Wait, what do yo-”

“You mind if I steal her for a dance” I looked to see Peter holding out his hand

“Absolutely” he replied winking at me. I mouthed “I hate you” and he put his hands up in defense walking away. Peter put his hands on my hips and I put mine on his shoulders. I couldn’t face him, I had no idea why he was dancing with me, or how Liz allowed him to do it. I was staring at his tie.

“You look really beautiful tonight Y/N” he commented quietly. Seriously is this boy trying to lead me on? What the hell does he want from me? I pushed him away.

“What kind of game are you playing Parker because I’m seriously sick of th-” I was cut off by him slamming his lips into mine, making my eyes open wider than humanly possible. My arms were at my side clenched and my whole body went tense. To be honest I could not comprehend what was happening, but eventually, my body relaxed and I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer and savoring the way his soft lips felt on mine. We pulled away for air.

“Why did you do that” I whispered.

“Just because I was going to homecoming with didn’t mean I didn’t have the same feelings for you” He revealed bowing his head down. “I asked Liz to homecoming because I thought you didn’t feel the same way, I was going to tell you after that night, but you never really gave me the chance”. I was speechless, honestly, I didn’t know how to react to this, so I just hugged him engulfing his.

“I love you, Peter Parker”

“I love you too”

I guess this wicked game came out with both of us winning.

————-

I hope you guys liked it! Feedback is seriously appreciated


tag list: @bonum-viatee  @emily-ily2 @kkkkkennedyyyyy @spidderdaddy  @slythergirlimagines

work © azelforest , do not repost, re-distribute, edit, or claim as your own, etc.
— (Hey, since you guys like this drawing so much, why don’t you drop me some ask or request? I’m totally open for that.)

OK SO, I’ve gotten sooooososoSO inspired by the awesome artist in the fandom that have made so many AU’s and such that I just HAD to draw up a lil something to toss into the ink machine of madness.

The AU’s meant to be in this story atm are:
Toon!Henry (Henry is a Toon)
PhotoCopy (That means there’s doubles)
Sketchy (That means the studio isn’t ‘realistic’ and instead is toonified)
Heartless (That means one or more of the toon’s are without a soul, and are pretty much just mindless monsters, they’re not searchers because they’re legit just like melted bendy)


(I may add more though, there’s a plot to this I’ve created as well but for now I’m keeping it under wraps because I love surprises <333)

Ok, onward to the next thing of business.

 Long story short

I want to make a comic in regards to SEVERAL au’s that many other fans (including myself) have come up with.

However I suck majorly when it comes to making comic’s. I can’t really draw comic panels well or pace them out to where they make sense, I can make scripts just fine, I guess I’m looking for a panel artist?? Or maybe just any artist in general that know’s how to work with comic’s. Either way, perspective is a pain and I need assistance with it to help get this thing going. You’re welcome to pop a message to me if you’re interested, but otherwise I hope you enjoy the art as well as the references I’m gonna drop down below because I couldn’t have thought up any of this stuff without you guys.

——

@squigglydigglydoo​ has been a HUGE inspiration to this. Alongside their Toon!Henry AU, I went to one of their streams and watched how AWESOMELY they drew out everyone’s favorite demon on Clip Studio Paint. I’d previously bought it but I had no clue how to use it, which is why I started learning and drew this ENTIRE image using it. Needless to say, this gal is a godsend and you should totally support her and her work because GOSH DANG SHE’S SO COOL.

@yunisverse​​ They’re the first person who’s art I bumped into in regards to the Rubberhose AU and their comic (Remade in his image) which was what sold me to the fandom. I hope you don’t mind that I used your based references for the toon’s because I really liked how you drew them so simply but with personality! Definitely worth checking them out and supporting them!

@the-vampire-inside-me​​ Honestly if there was any way to express how fucking awesome this person’s art style is you’d bet your ass I’d straight up say it to em in person. This dude is the one that inspired me to even grow interest within attempting the comic altogether. Their style, their finesse, it’s just too GOOD. I swear they made a bargain with the ink demon himself because ffs henry looks like such a beefcake daddy you’d never wanna stop huggin’.

@askthedevilswing​​ THOSE LINES, THE LINES. AHHHHHHH THEY’RE SO SMOOTHE AND SOFT. Another inspiring artist I’ve fallen pen over pad for with how fantastic their style is and how perfect they grab the studio’s characters. (and also that goddam buff bendy, holy hooligans I’ll never lookat my boi the same way again after that. Brings me to tears EVERY TIME.)

There’s plenty more pal’s out there that I wish I could brag about being amazing, but it’s gettin’ late and this post is pretty long enough as is so I hope everyone in the fandom know’s just how much I adore all their work and keeps at it!!! <333


|| rivalry ||

[request prompt: can u do a peter x reader where they “"hate each other”“ and one day he finds her crying and u can take it from there pls!!]

tags [permanent + peter parker]: @ghostedwolf , @neewtmas , @lovelybaka , @animexchocolate, @fandom-flash , @psychicwitchphilosopher , @pharaohkiller , @moonlight53 , @literatureandimmature, @daydr3ams-away, @wannabe-weasley , @mcusebstan , @tmrhollandkay , @pepcvina , @nekonerdxox , @lokigirl18 , @fangeekkk , @kylielo22 , @wavy-ley , @lghockey , @buckysendoftheline , @1022bridgetp , @potterjamesharry , @mcheung0314 , @samanthasmileys , @melconnor2007 , @wingsanddarkness , @tiny-friggin-human , @anastasiaannaa , @superheros-movies-and-books , @chuckennuggets1213 , @raindancer2004 , @teddysiupin , @thequacksonclackson , @spiidysenses , @the-trashiest-potato , @umwhatandrea , @converseandflannelshirts , @you-witch-bitch

**please don’t repost/plagiarize this story. Reblogs are fine**

——

Keep reading

Father’s Day - Daddy’s Little Lovebug

Word Count: 1091

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: None

A/N: Unedited and Unbeta’d

Feedback and Constructive Criticism always appreciated

Daddy’s Little Lovebug Masterlist


“You ready?” You glanced down at JoJo who was still dressed in green pajamas, shifting from foot to foot. You’d taken the time this morning to pull her hair back in a French braid to keep it out of her face, but it had already started to fall out, framing her face.

“Let’s do it!”

“Alright, let’s go!” You picked up the tray of food and nodded your head, letting her lead the way. She bounded down the hall and to your bedroom, stopping at the door. She opened it carefully, peeking inside. “Is he still asleep?”

“Uh huh.” JoJo giggled. “He’s hugging your pillow, Mommy.” You opened the door further, glancing inside and shaking your head. Dean did indeed have his arms wrapped tightly around your pillow. You’d only been out of bed a little over an hour and he was already acting like you’d been gone for an eternity.

“Go ahead.” You whispered. “We’re not gonna let him sleep all day.” JoJo skipped inside, crawling up on the bed while you waited in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe. She crawled on top of Dean, who in his sleep, released the pillow and turned to grip her waist. He was used to her crawling on top of him in the middle of the night or early morning, very rarely did it ever wake him.

Keep reading

Eating my food really burns me up, now it will for you too.

This story happened a few months ago at college.

My roommate and I have gotten along pretty well the whole semester so far. He’s an accounting major and I’m a culinary arts major. I work 2 jobs along with classes, so I like to make a big meal of pasta every week so I can have leftovers to snack on since I don’t get to make it to the cafeteria often between my busy schedule.

My roommate always comments on how good the food smells and I always offer to make him stuff if he’ll chip in on the groceries, but he never does so I just cook for myself. About halfway through the semester I start to notice my leftovers seem to be going faster than normal. I ask my roommate and he admits he sneaks some food. I tell him it’s not a huge deal, just cut it out or start chipping in for the groceries.

One night, I get off from work late because we had customers come in 20 minutes before closing. All the restaurants around are closed, so I’m really looking forward to a little snack before I pass out. I get back to my dorm and see all the food I had made was gone. My roommate had eaten the last of my food I cooked to last me the week.

So I decide to teach him that eating my food is a bad idea. I decide to make some spaghetti (his favorite) but I’m going to spice it up a bit. I ordered some ghost peppers online and had them shipped to me. I also went to the Asian market and found some genuine wasabi, not the green horseradish you find in stores, and found some Sichuan peppers. If you’re unaware, those peppers creates a very tingly feeling in your mouth that almost makes you feel like you liked a battery.

So I go over to my friends apartment to cook this devil sauce. I can’t have my roommate smelling all this spiciness and catching on. I mince the ghost peppers, grate the wasabi, and grind the Sichuan peppers and add them into the sauce. I’m a big fan of spicy food, my roommate isn’t. When I tried this stuff, I immediately spit it out because it was ridiculously hot.

When it was all done, I put it in a container and brought back to campus. I got to my dorm and he was there. I told him my friend and I cooked spaghetti and I got the leftovers and he was able to have them. So he makes a bowl, takes a few bites pretty quickly and then stops, looks at me with a tear forming in his eye, and immediately runs to the bathroom to spit it out. He learned after that my food wasn’t up for grabs.

fall [e.h  x reader]

Evan Hansen x Reader

warnings: really bad writing, anxious people, angry!evan, angst

requested? yes!

“evan x reader where the reader is the one who takes him to the hospital after he broke his arm and one day he snaps at her and then misses her?” -anon

evan x reader angst? -anon

word count: 3.8k (kms this is bad why would i keep writing it)

Tuesday, July 15

Crack.
Snap.
Yelp.
Crash.

It happened much too quickly and you almost didn’t see the see the small figure fall from the oak tree placed a few feet ahead of you on your hiking path. It was almost like the breath was kicked from your lungs as you saw it thump onto the ground.

“Oh my god! Are you okay? Holy shit.” You yelled while running towards the crumpled figure lying on the ground. It was a boy, you recognized him from school, but never really talked much. He was nice, though. You knew that for sure.

He was whimpering and clutching his arm close to his chest, tears streaking down his puffy cheeks. The tears making the pink of the cheeks look even darker under the wet streaks seeping from his eyes. He made eye contact with you and closed his eyes again when he saw how worried you looked. He recognized you too, but couldn’t think straight and said nothing. You kneeled down next to him and began to examine his injuries. You took a deep breath and steadied yourself on the ground.

“Hey, can you talk? Are you okay?” You pleaded towards him. Letting out a breath when he opened his eyes and nodded slightly. thank god.

“I’m,” he winced lightly “I’m Evan. I’m okay it’s just my uh, my arm.” He gasped out through tears, trying not to look at his definitely broken arm.

You took his head gently in your lap and looked down at him once again. You examined his face, nothing but a few scratches on his forehead and cheek. His eyes were so pretty you could’ve gotten lost in them, luckily you snapped yourself out of it because Jesus y/n, he fell from a tree and is injured you can’t be swooning.

“I’m Y/N. I’m going to get you help okay? But you need to help me out, are your legs okay?” You grabbed his face gently and made him look up at you. He nodded.

“Okay, I’m going to help you get up and bring you to my car so when can drive you to the hospital. Is that okay?” Your voice was so gentle and so were your eyes, he almost broke out into more tears. He didn’t think anyone would bother to get him, he honestly hadn’t thought what would happen if he ended up living.

“Yes, uh, yes please.” He stammered out, trying to adjust his legs so he could stand up. You put your arms under his shoulders and hoisted him up. His legs were wobbly and you thanked God that you weren’t very far in your hike. Your car was close, you just hoped he’d stay conscious that long. He was obviously in a ton of pain and his arm… wasn’t pretty. His shoulder was around you and you did your best to lift him to ease his pain that walking must’ve given him.

As you stumbled to the empty parking lot of matted down grass and gravel, you whispered gently in his ear that he could not, under any circumstances, look at his arm. (Your mom had taught you this trick, if you don’t see how bad it is, you won’t freak out as much). He just nodded really quickly over and over again as you opened the passenger seat door. He clambered in and closed his eyes so tight you thought he might pop a vein in his head. You rushed towards the driver’s seat and began speeding through the empty streets towards the hospital.

“Okay, Evan right? We’re almost there is there anywhere else that hurts? -Please stop scrunching your face like that you’re going to pull a muscle- that’s better.” You said as he slowly relaxed his face.

“You told me not to look…” he mumbled flicking his, now opened, eyes to you and then back to his jeans several times. He was trying to distract himself from something… most likely the pain.

When you caught him staring you smiled lightly, and turned your attention back toward the road. Luckily for him, you didn’t see his whole face get red after realizing a nice girl was taking care of him that wasn’t his mom.

As you got the hospital Evan flinched as he saw the bright “EMERGENCY ROOM” sign. Once he was in there he would have to answer a bunch of questions about what happened. He didn’t want to talk to people he just wanted to fall asleep and wake up healed.

“We’re here. Are you awake? Please be conscious, oh god,” you said as you scrambled to his side of the car while the feeling of dread bubbled up from your stomach.

“I- um, I’m f- fine.” He said as he tried to crawl out through the door avoiding any pain that may occur if he moves too quickly.

Once you were both in the position you were in when you walked to your car in the first place, you cautiously opened the doors and scooted him inside. The sweet-looking nurse gasped when she saw Evan’s arm and hollered around for more doctors to help him. The contrast of her bright white uniform and warm brown skin plus her gentle voice made her seem even more friendly, until of course, she almost ripped Evan out of your arms and brought him to a room. The last thing you saw was Evan looking back at you with pleading eyes before different nurses walking in front of you blocked him from your sight.


Wednesday, July 16

It had been a day. You had brought flowers. Is that what people usually do? Bring flowers? What if he doesn’t like flowers? Do boys like flowers? Your train of thought stopped when you were standing in front of the wide marble desk with a big “VISITOR SIGN IN” sign.

The (probably volunteer worker) looked up at you expectantly. She smiled when she saw the flowers, admiring the blues before you started to mumble who you were here for.

“Evan Hansen, he uh, well, I think he broke his arm? I brought him in yesterday- if that helps.” You were slightly embarrassed, you had never had to check in a hospital before to see someone without your parents, and that was 6 years ago.

She smiled politely as she pulled out a piece of paper and began to read it aloud

“Evan Hansen, 17, broken arm and rib fracture?”

“That would be him.” You mumbled, beginning to feel anxious again.

“Room 203 on the left, thank you, ma'am!” She smiled and pointed in the direction of his room. You smiled and thanked her back before walking towards the elevators. 

Boys can like flowers, right? I mean they’re pretty and stuff. Oh god, what am I doing? You reached the right hall and searched the numbers pinned up on the side of every door.
198.
200.
202.

You turned your head around and saw the faint figure of a nurse talking to a sleepy looking Evan in a hospital bed. It was Evan! He was okay! Now, do you knock or?

You decided to knock and the nurse turned around, startled. She walked to the door and let you in after checking her clipboard.

“You’re y/n?”

“Yes ma'am.”

“I’ll go get a vase for the flowers.” She scurried off pretty quick after that, deciding to give you privacy.

Evan eyes were open so wide you thought they might pop out of his head. His arm was in a cast and his hair was matted down almost enough to cover the bandage on his forehead.

“Hi, I’m uh, I’m glad you’re okay.” You said as you slowly walked toward his bed stopping abruptly as you looked for a chair to sit on. 

He noticed and shuffled over towards the side farthest from you on his bed. You sat down lightly and faced him, taking in his features all at once. His eyes, still milky brown and his cheeks weren’t as puffy or red as they were in the forest. There were freckles lightly dusting his nose and cheeks and his bottom lip was bigger than the top and a bit swollen from him biting on it. He took your breath away.

“Thanks uh for yeknow.. getting me at stuff? I mean that sounds so stupid you basically saved my life and I’m so grateful and-” he noticed you staring. “Uh, just, thank you, Y/N.”

“It’s not a problem… I uh, brought you flowers..?” You said, immediately flustered when you realized you were staring. “I don’t really know if you like them but they were really pretty and I thought that’s what normal people do, right?” You were rambling again. shut up y/n!!

“They were really pretty,” he said softly while fiddling with the covers he was under. “I like them, thank you again I guess.” He looked so nervous and you couldn’t understand why.

Truth is, he was nervous because he didn’t think you would come back to see him. I mean you probably had other stuff to do than worry about him right? Why were you here? Did you care about him? His heart fluttered at the thought of that. She cares about me? So he just gently fiddled with the covers until you resumed the conversation.

“Do you like brownies?”

“What?”

“Oh, uh well I was going to make you something for when I come back tomorrow… if that’s okay, of course! I wouldn’t want to, like, intrude or anything you know?” You let out a nervous laugh and forced yourself to look up.

He was staring again but he seemed… softer. He didn’t seem so on guard like when you initially walked in or when he was in your car. You didn’t really know how to reply so you just smiled gently and waited for his reply. Just as the pool of dread started building in your stomach again he replied.

“You really, uh, like you really don’t need to bake for me! I mean it would be cool, I’m not saying that I wouldn’t want anything you gave me but I just wouldn’t want to be an inconvenience! Because who wouldn’t accept brownies from a cute girl? Did I say that out loud? Sorry, I uh-”

You cut him if with your giggling and looked up at him barely containing your infectious smile.

“It’s cute when you ramble.” You said quietly. You were looking down towards your fiddling hands, scared you’ve overstepped a boundary.

He blushed; You did too.

You spent the rest of the day just talking about anything. You didn’t really want to leave and he didn’t want you to either. He wasn’t used to enjoying people company and not being scared of doing something wrong, but you were sincere and nice and funny. You went home at around 9:00 pm and once you left the room felt strangely empty, that is, until he saw the light blue flowers on his bedside table.

Over the past week and a half, you had become quick best friends. Neither of you and really had a bestfriend before, but you fell right into the habits that best friends do. At least the ones they do when one do them is in the hospital… well, you get the idea.


Friday, July 25

Three light taps on his hospital door and you wandered in announcing the arrival of brownies. He frantically tried to fix his hair and smooth out his shirt before you got close enough to see him clearly.

“Hi Ev!” You chirped while holding the brownie pan outwards like it was a trophy.

If he was going to be honest, he didn’t even really like brownies. He thought they were too much chocolate for one sitting, but seeing your grin and how proud you were of them… brownies might not be that bad as long as he could share them with you.

“O-oh my. Hey y/n.” He gave you a half wave and made room on his table for the brownies. why is she being so thoughtful? I mean it’s adorable but that never happens to me.

“Okay, so,” you said while sitting down next to him on his bed and smoothing the covers. “I was wondering, why were you in a tree in the first place?” You asked as politely as possible as one can while stuffing a brownie in their mouth.

There it was. He couldn’t tell her. He could barely tell himself. What was he going to do? Whatever, just make something up Evan, quick!

You noticed him freeze up and slowly shuffled away from him. Maybe he just didn’t want to relive the experience.

“Oh it’s not, I mean it isn’t really…important.”

“Of course it’s important, silly! Otherwise you wouldn’t have fallen and broken your arm from 50 feet up in the air!” You said while making wild hand gestures as if it would help you picture what you were saying.

“I don’t, I couldn’t really,” He couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t tell anyone. “I fell.” He decided that falling was better than letting go.

You looked at him quizzically. He looked guilty? He kept his gaze down and played with his hands more aggressively than usual, he also bit his lip. He was lying. but why would he lie about falling out of a tree?

“Okay.” Was all you said as you stood up slowly and grabbed the flower vase.
“I’m going to uh- go get some water.”

He watched you scurry off the bathroom and exhaled. You knew he was lying. He didn’t want to lose you or let you think he’s a liar, but absolutely no one could know what he had done. His mom would hate him and so would you! He looked toward the plate of brownies and then back towards the bathroom door. All that was playing in his head was 4 words, like a broken record: no one can know.

Sunday July, 27

You didn’t go to the hospital today. Evan had acted so strange after you asked him why he climbed up there in the first place. Once you got back from the bathroom he seemed closed off and distant, he seemed almost rude which was very out of character for him. You knew he didn’t have many friends at school, but he was so warm and sweet before, now he was just so cold and unresponsive.

So as you walked up your front steps after running a few errands for your sister, you almost jumped out of your skin when the door was answered by a middle aged woman with blonde hair. Your mom was right behind her and introduced you.

“Sweetie, this is Heidi! Evan’s Mom.
Heidi this is y/n, my youngest daughter.”

Heidi reached her hand out towards you with a big smile on her face.

“Thank you so much for helping Evan, it means so much to us. You’re even visiting him at the hospital! He seems so much more happy whenever you stop by!”

Her voice was sweet and a little gravelly, probably due to her job which (according to her clothing) was a nurse. Nurses worked long hours. That was probably why Evan was alone at the park in the first place.

“Oh, it’s no problem!” You said as you shook her hand. Her eyes were Evan’s, milky brown and sparkling, and then it hit you.

You’re even visiting him at the hospital! He seems so much more happy whenever you stop by!

Was Evan usually so closed off? He seemed so sweet you couldn’t possibly imagine that to be the case.

“Miss Hansen, if you don’t mind me asking-”

“Heidi, please dear!”

“Heidi, is Evan usually… closed off? He’s been acting sort of strange these past few days.”

She looked a little surprised at first but replied calmly nonetheless.

“He’s been, avoiding things. He hasn’t been taking his meds lately and has trouble talking to people. His meds keep his,” she cleared her throat slightly before continuing. “Negative emotions on track…I’m honestly surprised he talks to you without fainting from nervousness.” Her face turned sorrowful, as if she was thinking about the times he acted like what she was describing.

“Oh, I’m sor-”

“Don’t be silly, you’re helping him! Anyways I’ve got to run if I’m going to be at work on time, I just stopped by to say thank you!” She waved her hands a bit when she talked, it reminded you of Evan. You waved goodbye as she left and ran to your room, your mind was racing a mile a minute.

Evan has medication. Evan doesn’t connect with people. Evan is usually pretty closed off. Evan doesn’t know how to talk to people.

Well, no more ignoring him now. You grabbed your keys and a sweatshirt and walked out to your car, calling out a quick goodbye to your mom.

You were so enwrapped in your thoughts you almost missed the turn to the parking lot of the hospital. You didn’t know what you would say or even if he wanted to see you, but you knew one thing for sure. You were going to find out why he climbed that tree.

You knew the way to his room by heart now, which was strange considering you’ve only walked here twice. You didn’t bother with directions from workers you just marched right in and knocked on his door.

“Evan.”

“Y/N.” he said, surprised you were in his room and even more surprised that you looked so stern.

“Promise me you won’t lie?” You asked, maintaining your gaze directly at him.

He gulped, but nodded slowly.

“Why haven’t you been taking care of yourself and why did you climb that goddamn tree?” Your voice was gentle and shaky, but your body language stayed intense. He didn’t know what to say, had his mom talked to you or something? She did mention going to your house to thank you for being his friend, but what did she tell you?

“Uh- I don’t know what you’re talking about?” His voice raised slightly at the end, as if it was a question.

“Evan your mom said you hadn’t been taking your meds, and that sometimes you-”

“Stop it. Stop it.” He said quietly as he hugged his knees up to his chest.

“Evan please, you know you can talk to me, right? I’ve only known you for a little while but I feel like it’s been forever! Whenever you feel like tha-”

“Stop it.” He said it louder his time, looking at you instead of his hands.

“Evan I-”

“No. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You can’t just say that I can talk to you when I’m ‘off my meds’ y/n. You can’t, you just- you can’t come waltzing into my life and then try and fix it.” 

He seemed almost… angry? You didn’t know how to react, you had never seen him angry before.

“I’m sor-”

“I think you should just mind your own business.” He said softly, looking out the window while trying to calm down.

You didn’t know what to do. You never thought you were trying to fix him? You didn’t know he had anything wrong. Were you supposed to leave?

“I’ll just- uh.” You sniffled slightly, on the verge of tears. “I’ll just go.”
And with that you were out the door, running towards the elevator with a tear making its way down your cheek.


Later that evening Evan couldn’t stand he things he said. He was just so tired. He didn’t mean the things he said, obviously, but he just couldn’t talk about his feelings. He had trouble talking to people normally, so when his feelings came up he shut down. He knows how harsh he was, and he flinched at himself every time he thinks about what happened.

You had exchanged numbers the first day you visited, but he doubted you wanted to ever see him again. He looked over at the flowers you had got him and frowned as he realized they were wilted.

Monday, July 28

You didn’t leave your room. You couldn’t. How could you have been so stupid? You shouldn’t have mentioned his emotions and you shouldn’t have tried to convince him it would help to talk about something he clearly didn’t want to talk about.

Meanwhile Evan was writing and erasing a million texts to send you to say he was sorry.

Tuesday, August 4th

8:26 AM
No new messages to: Y/N

You missed him, but how were you supposed to come back from that? 

“hey I used to be your bestfriend until i overstepped my boundaries and now you hate me!”

No new messages to: Evan
He wished he was good with words. He missed not only his bestfriend, but you. he missed the late night phone calls talking about whatever you guys could come up with. He missed the random texts about what you should get from McDonalds as if he knew what you wanted at that moment. he missed your smile and he missed your unjudgmental presence. He wished he could just send a freaking text.


Thursday, August 6th


From Evan:

I’m sorry. Can u come over?

To: Evan

Why would u want me to? You were right, I should just mind my own business.

From: Evan

No I swear I didn’t mean it like that.

To Evan:

The how did you mean it?

From Evan:

I didn’t mean it at all! Please just come visit and we can talk

To Evan: 

ok


You pushed the door open and crossed your arms over your chest, trying to make yourself feel as small as possible. He looked at you took in your appearance. 

Shorts with a gray hoodie, that looked normal.

Dark eye bags, paler than he remembered, blank expression, that was not normal.

“I’m sorry. I am so sorry.” The words fell out of his mouth like he had no control over them. “I was so rude and I understand if you never wanna see me again and that’s fine! I just missed you a lot and I wish I could take what I said back because I didn’t mean it and I was just so stupid and tired an-”

You let out a long sigh and rubbed your temples. “Evan what am I doing wrong here? I thought I was actually having a good friendship for once and then I screwed it up.”

“What?”

“Why do you think it hurt so much when you yelled at me? I can handle outbursts Evan, but not when they confirm everything I thought I was doing wrong.” You leaned your head against the wall of his room and tried not to make eye contact.

“Y/n- I”

“It whatever Ev, I shouldn’t have come back I’m sorry.” You adjusted your purse and lifted yourself from the wall you were leaning against, ready to run as soon as you could. Before you could make any actual movement though, he was out of his hospital bed and in front of you, shaking hands and all.

He stopped your escape and crushed the air out of your lungs with a bear hug. You were frozen, why was he hugging you? Eventually, you relaxed into him and he dragged you onto his tiny hospital bed.

“I should be sorry.” You mumbled into his neck.

He looked so guilty in the brief moment he had looked down at you, but it quickly became a small smile.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Y/N, no. I just don’t do well when I talk about stuff like that.”

You nodded slightly into his shoulder to show you understood.

“I’m still sorry.”

He stared at you for the longest time before he just simply kissed your temple. After realizing what he had just done, he started to freak out and he was shaking and stuttering. He had never been this close to a girl before, much less a girl he liked before.

“Oh I-I didn’t, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anyth-”

You shut him up by gently taking his hand and interlocking your fingers with his. He stared at your hands in disbelief before looking back at you.

“I’m perfectly comfortable around you.” And you would fall asleep with his and your hands intertwined together, listening to his heartbeat.


He was falling; but this time, not from a tree. this time he was falling for a good reason. This time he was falling for you.

today i was reflecting in the shower.. where i normally do all of my deeper thinking.. and i couldn’t stop thinking about 2016. i know.. we’re in a new year.. time to let it go.. but i don’t think i properly cleansed myself or made peace with how my year went. and because a lot of what happened to me throughout the year continuously comes to mind.. i knew it was time to sit down and write out my feelings. what has made me the writer or “poet” that i am today.. is i’ve spilled my heart out on paper, time and time again, but lately i’ve been extremely distant. i’m not sure whether it’s because i feel a burden to always be positive and uplifting or because i find myself more afraid than ever. last year i cried. and cried. and cried. more than i’ve ever cried in my 22 years of life. i even made a habit out of watching really sad and emotional movies just so i could find an excuse to. also.. i’ve smoked more than ever before. longing to both - feel.. and be numb. i’d smoke before writing so i could pull certain stories out of me. then i’d smoke after, to forget them. often times.. i just got high enough to make myself fall asleep so i wouldn’t have to deal with anything. in the midst of one of my episodes.. i realized i suffer, and have always suffered, from feeling like nobody really understands me. i’ve always felt like i was someone who was constantly mistaken for an entirely different person. i always feel like i don’t “fit”. i don’t fit around friends.. i don’t fit around family.. i don’t make sense at social gatherings.. i don’t feel at home in my own home. i think a lot of these feelings have come up, from time to time, because i’ve never really known my true identity. all i’ve ever known myself to be is someone that everyone clings to. and not in a “she’s the life of the party” kind of way, but more so, “she’s the person to get advice from” way. and although.. this may sound selfish, sometimes i wish i had someone like me. i wish i had someone who was willing to help solve my problems before solving their own. as i’m typing, i’m starting to cry again. and i’m crying because i don’t know when exactly this will end. or if this discomfort is how i’m meant to live life. maybe this is just the life of an empathic. maybe when i started asking god to “use” me, i signed up for this. the truth is, 2016 should have been the best year of my life. i released a book that hit the best sellers list, i bought my dog that brings an unlimited source of awe to my life, i signed a major publishing deal, i moved out of my parents house and into a new home, i lost friends that never clapped for me, and gained friends who’ve been there for me in every way since, i built this whole “brand” into something much bigger than i ever expected myself to, i found out i was cancer free, i promise the list could continue on. but depression got in the way. of everything. i never once celebrated myself. i never once intervened, and took control. i never even thought to. i felt like whatever i was going through.. i was supposed to. and still.. i’m not sure the reasoning.. i just kept living with a kind of sadness i have yet to find a name for. instead of focusing on all of the goodness that god was placing in my life, i had tunnel vision on everything that i felt was going wrong. i couldn’t see life in a positive light no matter how good things may have got. my parents split up. i was forced to move out. i lost my home base. i went, and still go, months without speaking to either one. my boyfriend was dealing with an ex who continuously threatened to take her life at the account of us being together. all i wanted to do was help her. but couldn’t. i had a new life to take care of, when i could barely take care of my own self. i lost all my friends. literally, every single one. i never ever could leave the house because of how bad my social anxiety was getting. i found out i had a fractured jaw because of the size of a tumor that was holding it in place. i found out i had a fucking tumor that could have been cancerous. i had reconstructive jaw surgery that ruined the nerve and feeling in my mouth. i could not eat or sleep or talk straight for months. i’m still dealing with the pain. i was consistently working and doing interviews right after my surgery. i was and am still extremely exhausted from this. i never properly allowed myself to rest or heal. i started working with a team that could not fully ever understand me which only added to my frustration, loneliness, and sadness. and again, THIS LIST could go on. but more than anything. i was bullied. as my brand kept getting bigger, i was bullied more. and more. and i couldn’t understand how my work, trying to help and heal people, could bring in such negative responses. i couldn’t understand why there were people who were so eager to tear me apart, they would start to attack my image. everyday people attack the way i look and sound. and this kind of bullying brought back a lot of old feelings that i never dealt with as a kid. growing up i was constantly brought down and picked on because of the way i look. i was never skinny enough. or pretty enough. or i was too hairy. or my teeth were too crooked. or my hair was too nappy. or i was too dark. or i was too “black”. or i wasn’t “black enough”. now, i’m receiving - i’m too stupid or i’m too fake. my writing isn’t good enough. my writing is cliche. i look like a monkey. and so on. and so forth. and as i’m typing these things.. i find myself giggling a bit, wondering why i even allow these things to bother me. but truthfully, all negativity from outside sources bothers me. no matter what form it comes in. i always question, “what have i done to deserve this?” and although i often ignore these nasty comments, i’ve realized i harbor the feelings i receive when i see these comments. embarrassment. frustration. confusion. hurt. disappointment. betrayal. i let these statements affect me to the point where i’m starting to silence my voice. i’m starting to be more afraid to speak up for myself. the thought of confrontation makes me nervous. the thought of even receiving any awful comments makes my stomach flip. so i won’t say anything at all. i’ll keep everything to myself if it’ll keep the mean people and their nasty opinions away. but i’m trying to break out of this. i really am. i’m trying to be more understanding of the way people work. i know.. that the way we treat people is a reflection of the way we treat or view ourselves. meaning.. those who are willing to go out of their way to attack a person for absolutely no reason, ultimately feel that they need to. either because, they don’t have enough love for themselves, to be consumed within themselves and their own positivity, or, simply, they hate themselves just as much as they hate me. and not personally, but mainly, their views of life are formed in a negative and hateful way.. more often than not. idk.. maybe i’m getting too ahead of myself. or maybe i make sense and i’m afraid no one will understand it. lol. but anyway. idk. i’m just glad i got to get these things off my chest because i feel like my readers.. and supporters.. or those who just fuck with me, for whichever reason.. are always looking forward to hearing from me. and i’m trying to, again, be more accepting of the fact that not everyone is going to always like my shit. my writing. my poetry. my points of view. my ideas. and that’s okay. that doesn’t make me any less of an artist or woman or idealist.. and that doesn’t make whomever else any less than either. i’m thankful. for these moments of clarity because they really ground me and put me back in my place. i get to reflect on how i’ve sabotaged my own life.. and i pray that god help me heal from it. the reality of this all is.. i’m my own worse enemy. and i have been.. for most of my life. and i know this because i would have never ever allowed myself to go through all the hardships that i did. i would have never allowed myself to not only deal with half the people i’ve dealt with - but also.. i wouldn’t have allowed myself to be as affected by negativity as i was. all i was doing, and all i’ve been doing, is place energy in places and spaces that my energy was never meant to be. 2016 was the ending. i firmly believe this because there is always a storm before a sunny day. there were times last year when i thought i was out of touch with myself and i couldn’t hear god as clearly as i’m used to.. but really.. s/he was with me all along. guiding me to this place i’m in now. this place of - understanding, acceptance, and gratitude. i’m finally understanding that sometimes we go through shit. sometimes a lot of shit. but what we go through doesn’t define us. it shapes us into the people that we’re ultimately meant to be. stronger. wiser. and happier.. if anything. i’m finally accepting that some things, many things, are out of our control. but we have much more control than we think. the way we react to life will result in our karma. we can choose how to react and ultimately this will help affect all of our situations moving forward. i’m also learning to accept people as they are. everyone will do as they please. and not everyone will be considerate of mine, or anyone else’s, feelings. in knowing this, i have to constantly remind myself to not take anything personal. the longer i feed into other peoples negativity, the longer i’ll be miserable. misery is the result of not fully understanding or not fully having control over certain situations. but the more intuitive we are.. the easier it will be to keep away from misery. and finally.. i’m grateful for the one friend i had all along.. whom i never give enough credit to. my best friend and boyfriend. every single tear that came strolling down my cheek.. he was always here to help wipe and then uplift me. the more silence i become the more he encourages me to speak. even if he, himself, doesn’t fully understand. i’m grateful to god for showing up in all forms. people. places. numbers. symbols. etc. i cannot be anymore thankful for my relationship with god. for not only helping me get through one of the best/worst years of my life.. but also.. for giving me the strength to open up about it. knowing.. that everyone’s perception of me is that i’ve “got it all together.”
—  Reyna Biddy
Surprise! (Dan Howell x Reader)

A/N: so it was my birthday four days ago (monday) and it went pretty well. Anyways going to Washington D.C tomorrow so expect some maze runner imagines because its a solid two hour drive. 

warnings: None (unless you count crap as a swear word)


You were sitting on Zoe’s couch, you had left London to stay with Zoe and Alfie in Brighton while Dan and Phil was on tour. You missed Dan so much. Sure you two skyped every two weeks and texted nonstop but it wasn’t the same. And hear you were, on your birthday. At least you have Zoe and Alfie to spend your birthday with. 

“Ok so today is Y/N’s birthday and Zoe is out getting her birthday present. She has no idea what it is,” You heard Alfie mumble to the camera. 

“What was that Alfie?” You asked. 

“Nothing Y/N!”” Alfie responded. All of the sudden your phone started ringing. It was Dan. You quickly answered it. 

“Hi Dan,” You said. You felt a smile come across your face. 

“Hey baby. You enjoying your birthday?” Dan asked through the phone. 

“Yeah just wished you were here, Phil too,” You replied. 

“Hi Y/N” You heard Phil yell in the background. 

“Hi Phil,” You chuckled. 

“We have to go now, I’ll call you later tonight,” Dan said. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” You mumbled. You ended the call and threw your phone on the couch. 

“Aw does someone miss their boyfriend?” Alfie teased as he pointed the camera at you. 

“Oh shut up.” You said with a small laugh. “When is Zoe so post to get here?”

“Soon Y/N,” Alfie answered you. You heard a phone buzz so you quickly ran over to your phone but it turns out it was Alfie’s. “Oh that’s her. You have to go into the guest room real quick.” 

“Alright,” You sighed. You grabbed your phone from the couch and walked into your room, which was the guest room. You flopped down on your bed and started to scroll through your old photos. They were all from the summer. Most of them actually were of you, Dan, and Phil doing weird crap. You then opened up Instagram and went to Dan’s account. You started looking through all of his posts till you came across a picture of you and him. It was when you two first started dating. You were staring at the stars and Dan had got the perfect photo of you. 

The stars are pretty tonight, but Y/N is prettier

You couldn’t help but to smile at the caption. 

“Alright Y/N you can come out now!” You heard Zoe yell. You walked out of the room, down the stairs and into the lounge room. Zoe had a small gift on the table that had your name on it. You glanced over at Alfie, who had the camera out which made you a little suspicious. You walked over to the table, sat on your knees and grabbed the gift. You carefully unwrapped to find that is was a a box. 

“You took two hours just to get a box?” you asked Zoe. 

“Open the box,” Zoe said. You carefully opened the box to find it was a necklace. The necklace had a silver heat on it. “Here I’ll help you put it on.” Zoe grabbed the necklace from your hands and walked behind you. You lifted your hair as Zoe placed the necklace around your neck. She quickly connect it. 

“Look at the back,” Alfie pointed out. You glanced down at the heart and turned it around. 

The stars may be pretty but you my dear are prettier -Dan

You couldn’t help but to smile. You turned around to thank Zoe but it was Dan who was standing behind you. He was the one who put the necklace on you. He wrapped his arms around you before you could say anything. 

“You think Phil and I would let you spend your birthday by yourself?” Dan asked. You couldn’t answer because tears were streaming down your face. Dan carefully lifted your head up so you would meet his eyes. He then kissed your forehead. 

“Happy Birthday Y/N!” Phil yelled. you quickly let go of Dan and walked over to hug Phil. You then walked back over to Dan and ended up getting pulled back into a hug.

“Thank you,” You said to him. 

“Anything for you,” He said to you. 

Yuuri took pity of how hard it was for Victor to process everything right then.

He explained gently:

“You’re my husband, we’re getting married.”

“How…” Victor began weakly and gulped. “Oh my god, how did I do that?”

Victor coming off painkillers after a bump on the head. He doesn’t recognise Yuuri and asks who the angel in his room is.  Silly, fluff one-shot.

Inspired of course by that video of a man not recognizing his wife while coming round from his surgery, and the many, many fic prompts that has generated.

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Jon, Looking Back, and “The Wars to Come”

So I have gotten close to ten asks since the episode about how either the Jon/Dany goodbye was “cold” or asking my opinion on why Jon “doesn’t look back” at Dany. So I’d like to address this and just give my two cents on their relationship development in 7.05 and the meaning/significance of their last words to each other on the beach. This is huge so I put it under a cut!

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Meant to Be - Part Eight: Silence

All Parts

Request: Soulmate AU – When soulmates draw on themselves, it appears on the other’s skin as well.

Tagging: @elenarte @empyrealsakaki @gum-and-chips @karenthepoop @hammytrashy @falling-open @bestfluteninja @urstupidmom @olympun @rebel-with-cause @mishaisakitten @depressionjoke @gemilton @ur-friendly-neighborhood-fangirl @regionallyblurredfaces @destiel-addict-forever @sxnyalxveshxrses@theinevitablesense @boiugotsmehalpless @rachurro @hamilton-of-issues @phantom10526 @feral-tomcat-hamilton @alonelynoodle @aceplaysbass @ilesserpanda@kyloslightsaberdick @msageofenlightenment @pentagramtardis @artisticgamer @smol-angery-bean @abbylikeschickennuggets @little-miss-vanilla @marquisdelargebagutte @cant-we-just-dance @commandergreysonpike @abbyg14 @ixhadbadxdays @iamindeedapotato @pipindaae @gad-jefferson @series-killerr @creepycute08 @viliantv @brienne-evenfall @sunshinerainbowunicorn @trickstrqueen @liv-livingafandomlife @gamzeenmakara @ham-for-ham @fruityfrootloops @canyoubemyfour @whimsicalfangirlthings @kakapo-the-owl-parrot @ssnips @iimnotyourson @theonethatscalledtay

Word Count: 2485

Warnings: swearing, anxiety/panic attacks

Dedicated to: @falling-open, @jamiltonhivemind, and @sovroski for drawing me tHE BEST ART PLEASE YOU ARE ALL AMAZING 

also @mymintispeeling for adding tags that literally make me laugh out loud (ex. #we’re reaching new tips of the yikesberg)

A/N: this is a lot… i feel like it’s badly organized aaah, but enjoy anyway <3


“You can’t be in here.”

“He was just trying to work on his art project.”

“School’s over, boys. Pack up your things and leave.”

“He can’t! He passed out.”

“That’s not my problem. We could have a lawsuit on our hands if the board found out one of you got hurt when the school’s supposed to be closed.”

“With all due respect, sir, that’s not my problem.”

John’s eyes cracked open slightly. His mouth felt dry. His head was pounding. He blinked twice to clear his vision, and tried to take in his surroundings. He was staring at a pair of loafer-clad feet. He was very close to the floor, but his head felt cushioned. He rolled his head to look up, and found himself staring at Aaron’s chin, set forward defiantly. He realized then that his head was nestled into the boy’s lap.

Aaron looked down when John shifted his head, and his eyes brightened. “John, you’re awake! Are you okay?”

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