look at my life look at these choices

Let me introduce you to three of my friends: hallucigenia, opabinia, and wiwaxia. They’re all from the Cambrian explosion, the period of time around 500 million years ago when life was just starting and was still trying to figure out questions like “how should a mouth work?” and “legs?”

Hallucigenia was about an inch long (most life back then was tiny, they were only a few eras removed from being single celled after all) and it had sixteen clawed legs, hard spines coming out of its back, and a wicked tentacle neckbeard. 

Opabinia was between two to three inches long and it had thirty fins along the side of its body, along with five mushroom shaped eyes on top of its head. By far though, its most interesting feature was its strange proboscis. Like a Dr. Moreau style mashup of an elephant and a lobster, the long nose terminated in a large claw that it used to grab prey and bring it to its backward facing mouth.

Finally, this is wiwaxia. This danger-artichoke was a two inch long armored slug-like creature with no head. In fact, its actual body was largely just its one massive foot. 

I find these animals interesting for three main reasons. First, it’s incredibly fascinating to see all of the potential paths that life on earth could have taken. Imagine an ocean filled with elephant lobsters! Second, whenever I feel like my life is going nowhere and all my choices are the wrong ones, I like to think that I’m in in my phase where I’m still developing hallucigenias and wiwaxias, and not yet making awesome things like butterflies or velociraptors. Finally - it serves as a stark reminder that if we ever find alien life, there is a fantastic chance it will look like nothing we’ve ever seen before - it might look more like one of these creatures than a human being. 

also can we talk about the fact that the liches gave a whole speech about how suffering was a more powerful force than love, and then in a complete and utter luke skywalker moment, the boys threw a major wrench in their plans completely relying on THE POWER OF LOVE

  • Blue going grocery shopping with Ronan 
  • “Ronan, stop nO YOU CANNOT BUY 50 MAC AND CHEESE BOXES ADAM IS GOING AWAY FOR 3 DAYS NOT 4 YEARS”
  •  “Exsuse me I lost my daughter, Blue can I make an announcement?” “yeah sure” “goodbye you little shit, this is what you get for not letting me buy my Mac & cheese”
  • “Gansey slow down you’re going to get us killed” “I died twice and came back both times don’t tell me what to do Adam”
  • “Gansey you’re late” 
  • “A Gansey is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to” 
  • Adam:???????????????????
  • “I slept through my alarm“
  • Ronan blasting 22 by Taylor swift when he turns 22 and everybody just looks at him like????? Ronan Lynch knows other songs than Irish and metal songs????
  • Ronan: “Gansey Can you please pass the salt?”  “Can you pass your classes?” 
  • “My goal in life is not be the best but inspire people to try their hardest and make better choices in life” “Adam you say that everytime I beat you in UNO” “Oh look at me I’m Blue and I’m the best in UNO and i don’t give my friends any chances to get the sense of acomplishment at least once in their life ” “Adam shut up”
  • Gansey wishing for Noah back every birthday before blowing out his candles
  • The gangsey and everybody in 300 Fox way gathering in Persephone’s death anniversary, knitting and baking her favourite pies and cakes.
6

Tom is your Tom problem.

im just so tickled by the idea of Pumpkin being a fat, puffy pomeranian though

why is everyone so upset about the things that other people do with their own goddamn bodies, like let me eat this chocolate cake and cut my hair if I want to it’s not your life it’s not your choice, i’m gonna fuckinG-

alien emoji rating

I really like aliens so I’ll go ahead and rate my little boys

Apple:

He looks cute and kind of nice, this shows that aliens do come in piece, the gradient effect gives a 3 D  S P A C E  P I N B A L L feel which is a nice touch. 4/5. He’s really nice, someone give him live stock for his planet.

Goolge:

I’m not sure Google is aware of the popular conception of aliens, but maybe they know something we don’t???? The colors are flat, something that in most cases is not bad, but this time it is, he seeks intelligent life yet he looks as he has no life at all. 1/5.

Microsoft:

He’s conventionally attractive and happy for some reaon, I’d let him make patterns in my crops, the T H I C C lines are not the best idea but the glow in his eyes are perfect. Not the best desing choices but I can deal with it. 3/5.

Samsung:

Isn’t this the most visually pleasing gradient ever made by human kind? But not for this guy, he looks like he’s dying cuz can’t breath our oxygen, poor fellow, also his face looks strange, he might as well be Mr. Burns. 3/5. Looks really smug and I bet this kid thinks he’s the smartest guy in the class.

LG:

Straight out of the uncanny valley, the face you’d expect to see from a badly written creepypasta edited over an old photo that’s supposed to possess you, looks scary, creepy and offsetting but not in the nice way aliens are supposed to look. Please deport him to his planet. 0/5. Save your children from LG cellphones.

HTC:

Look at this guy, like LOOK at This gUY!! His cute smile, this lime boy looks so mischievous, probably on space Santa’s naughty children list. The lines, the colors and the E D G E S are so pleasing to the eyes. 5/5. I’d let this guy invade my planet any day and eradicate all sentient matter without hesitation.

Facebook:

He’s scary, creepy and offsetting in the nice way aliens are supposed to be, the soulless eyes and the grey color blend so nice together making him intimidating and also hypnotizing. 5/5. Please take me away with you and use me as a guinea pig for your nefastus plots. 

Messenger:

The colors looks like he’s from a flash animation and his face of utter disgust makes him unpleasant, I’ll take him with my leader because I don’t wanna deal with him. 3/5. You might be ugly, but you’re the designated emoji for most of my chats.

Twitter:

He’s minimalistic and cute, this grey buddy is my friend, please hug him and treat him nicely, he just want diplomatic relations with our planet, give him love and natural resources, he deserves them. 4/5.

Mozilla:

This guy is not an alien, he’s a light outlet. He’s nice and is probably that one cousin they sit with you on family gatherings, not because you get along, but because they want you to keep him from doing something stupid like breaking a bowl or causing a nuclear holocaust. 2/5. Sorry Kyle, I’m not your baby sister.

i managed to trick my pse8 into working as a trial version, meaning i could quickly churn out this mag7 fanart that’s been plaguing my brain. inspired by this fic with werewolf goody and hunter billy, because for some reason i love the idea of billy with this hulking wolf next to him like it’s no big deal.

Kim Seokjin : Occupation - Kindergarten Teacher


♥(ノ´∀`)Happy Birthday @caramoccii / @ask-seokjinnie !

sap & shit under the cut

Keep reading

OH SWEET LORD MORE OFFICIAL ART!!!!! IT LOOKS LIKE THE BANQUET AFTER EPISODE 12!!! <3 <3

-LOOK AT VICTOR’S FACE!!! HIS HEART MOUTH!! OF MY GOSH! <3

-YUURI BE LIKE “OH NO NOT AGAIN!” BUT ALSO SECRETLY LOVING IT

-WHAT THAT HELL IS YURIO DOING?!?! DODGING?! 

-PHICHIT BEING HIMSELF BASICALLY (INSTAGRAM LORD)

-OTABEK STARING AND CONTEMPLATING HIS LIFE CHOICES

-JJ AND ISABELLA BEING ALL CUTE AND STUFF

LET’S PARTY INDEED!!!

on the left is a victoria secret model, and on the right is me. there was a time, i would have put these pictures side by side, and used it as a “goal” to get to. i actually went into a victoria secret shop once, about a year ago, with my friend, and whilst she was trying something on in the changing room, and i was waiting, i was trying to hold back the tears, they just started running down my face, and i was desperately wiping them away before anyone saw. it was all too much in there, all them what i deemed as “perfect” girls plastered all over the walls, and my mind was racing with “why don’t i look like them” “why can’t i achieve that” “i’ll never be like them” and looking back, i feel so saddened that i ever felt like that. (my friend didn’t know, so it obviously wasn’t her fault that it happened, she was just shopping in there, bless her❤️) but now, today, i don’t envy those girls, NOT ONE LITTLE BIT. i’ve read up about their diets, and some days they have detoxing where they literally eat just vegetables, and like hours before the show they aren’t allowed liquid, like hello?? we need to drink?? it’s just crazy. it’s their choice and i completely understand that, but i’m just saying that there was a time i would have admired how strict they are with themselves, but today is so different. i want to enjoy food, i’ve rid my life of diets, i’ve found self love, and i want to eat cake and ice cream, when i want cake and ice cream, like chocolate?? who doesn’t love chocolate?? i just don’t envy their bodies or their lifestyles anymore, and that’s just a GLO UP for me. YOU DONT NEED TO LOOK LIKE THOSE GIRLS. YOU NEED TO LOOK LIKE YOU. YOU YOU YOU. whatever body shape, or size you are, that’s perfect, and that’s what makes you YOU.

not a Calvin Klein ad lol 😝😝😝

(hope this isn’t triggering💗)

alkja  asked:

I'm sorry, did you say "memes about “Master Kenobi’s sculpted abs”"????? HOW did that come to be? How did it happen that Ob-Wan "always wrapped in at least 3 layers of linen and wool" Kenobi got to be seen in deshabillé? Did Obi-Wan become a Jedi sex symbol? (he ought) Who was more mortified, he or Anakin? Were the Jedi pissed or were they like "mmmmh, good pr this is"? TELL US MORE!

combining this with:

Anonymous said:
/MEMES/ ABOUT OBIWANS /SCULPTED ABS??!?!/ Omigosh I have a sudden need to know how the holonet even got a pic of Obiwan’s abs. Was it a clone? Was it Ahsoka? Was it a jedi youngling? A trolling knight? A lucky-stalking journalist climbing the sides of the temple? HOW? HahahahahHHAha

and:

Anonymous said:
THE HOLONET NEVER FORGET hahahhaha yesss. But really, how did the public get a glimpse of Obiwan’s abs???

I just love that this became a BURNING QUESTION that NEEDS ANSWERS. Luckily I do have answers, but lol. (referenced by this and this)

WARNING: mentions of child slavery and the discovery of child slaves. Nothing graphic what so ever, in fact, the children haven’t been made slaves yet, though they have been kidnapped for that purpose.

It’s the kind of mission that Obi-Wan will do his absolute best to completely forget as soon as it’s over and he’s finished his report. 

For months they’ve fought this war, struggling to keep the Separatist forces at bay and keeping the Republic safe. For months the clones have been at the Jedi’s backs, help keeping them safe. Helped the Jedi be enough to keep the Republic safe. 

The Jedi are not an army, they’re not soldiers… They’re supposed to be peacekeepers but now, at the behest of the Republic, they’re not.

Keep reading

LoudAnnoying Twitch Stream Sentence Starters
   
Taken from the Chocobros ( minus Gladio ) livestream-!

  • I’m going out with my friends to get married.
  • I’m gonna look up because I’m cute.
  • Is it supposed to be making that noise?
  • Oh, hi there opening~
  • QUICK SAY THE CATCH PHRASE WE’RE LOSING THEM.
  • Oh my god, this is great!
  • I’m glad to be looking at his butt, I’m glad we’re down here, but I’d like to get back up…
  • The girls have had their fill of Gladio’s butt, now…
  • Thanks for the fan service.
  • We have to find a new recipe.
  • Don’t take a shot- it’s a Wednesday night, I know you have work tomorrow!
  • You got the map just for running away from her!
  • Oh, we could pick an outfit!
  • Oh man, I’m so sad my dad’s dead.
  • All of my dreams, and also a nightmare…
  • That looks like it’s on sale for 50% off at Express…
  • That’s for garden parties, of course..
  • Look at Noctberto.
  • We’re just hanging out with a thousand of our closest friends…
  • That sombrero really slowed you down.
  • That’s like, eight or nine tacos in.
  • Somebody just called you a n00b…
  • You’re leaving your friends to die!
  • Don’t tell anybody…. it looks like a big ding dong…
  • I saved your ass there!
  • Yeah, that’s kinda messed up, right?
  • ‘allo, guvnah!
  • My you is terrible…
  • I love that he’s like, the most tragic character- all his friends are dead. Just… Dave.
  • You make that toast.
  • What a creep!
  • I’m just looking at you fecks.
  • What a crock a shit
  • Those weren’t words. You just made Japanese sounds.
  • We’re trapped in catchphrase hell….
  • -cacophony of screams-
  • It’s a hard Noct life for us.
  • Why does every woman have midriff…?
  • ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, LIFE IS A SERIES OF CHOICES-
  • Run like you stole something!
  • Where is my catchphrase!?
  • Take the game out, burn it.
  • I’m taking a poll!
  • …. you wrote got it, didn’t you?
  • Five Nights at Kenny’s…
  • Look at his Jesus sandals!
  • He’s clearly a murderer.
  • His pants are tight…
  • Let’s just make him a really hard Italian stereotype.
  • Sweet jammin’ custard!
  • Massage the fish to unlock the secret ending!
  • Did you cook the kitty’s fish? How dare you?!
  • CAN THEY HEAR ME PEEING!?
  • That cat just showed you it’s butthole.
  • Everyone loves your laugh, by the way. It gives them life.
  • Massage or riot-!
  • Why is this happening?!
  • It’s from my days in Milan, boys.
  • Is that your boyfriend!?
  • So where’s the Colossal Titan…?
  • You’re best girl.
  • I’VE COME UP WITH A NEW RECIPEH.
  • JUST TURN THE PLAYSTATION OFF. JUST TEAR IT OUT OF THE WALL.
I hate cliches- really, I hate them. But listen to me when I say that no one, not a single person on this planet, will ever look at you the way that I do. Because I look at you with anger and wonderment and appreciation and fear. I look at you like you are the reason for every problem in my life, though you are the reason that I forget all my life problems. I look at you and I see everything that I have to lose, but it’s only because you have given me so much to look forward to. I look at you in terror because I wasn’t supposed to let myself feel this way for anyone, but then I feel comfort looking at you because I know that I made the right choice by letting you break those walls I built. So don’t ever tell me that I don’t see you- the only person, the only THING I ever see- is you.
—  See Me