look at my legs in the first picture

They made him kill his horse.

(long story. TL;DR at the end)

This is a story that my grandfather liked to tell. It’s kind of long, and I can’t say if it’s true, but it seems to fit the very old and cantankerous guy I knew, who never, ever let a grudge go. I mean, in the 1980s and 90s, he would sometimes go and yell at Democratic candidates for office, because Woodrow Wilson had made him fight in WW1.

The story actually starts with that, kind of. You see, Grampa immigrated to the US early enough that the first election he could vote in, he voted for Teddy Roosevelt. Wilson won, though, and then he ran for reelection under the slogan “He Kept Us Out of the War.” Which seemed like a good platform, so my grandfather voted for Wilson. Few months after that, he got us into the war, and a few months after that, my grandfather was in the trenches somewhere in France.

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The Man Who Can’t Be Moved

Characters: Jensen x Reader, Jared

Warnings: angsty

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: This fic is for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing‘s Favorite things challenge. I picked the song “The Man Who Can’t be Moved,” by the Script. I’ve always loved that one. Originally this fic was going to be a Dean x Reader, but I gave Kari two cover choices, and she picked the Jensen one. So here we are. This fic can also function as a Pt. 2 to a gif blurb I wrote called Too Late. You don’t have to have read it to get what’s going on in this one. This is kind of rough writing. I’m feeling a little rusty.

Tags at the bottom

Feedback Appreciated

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The other day one of my friends whipped out his camera and we went around town taking pictures. And they’re beautiful!!!! They make me feel like a badass. But my first reaction to seeing these was “wow my arms look weird”. My arms are way way stronger than they’ve ever been in my entire life from pushing myself in my chair, and my über hyperextended joints can make for a kinda funky look. And they’re long, like wow long. I never noticed before because my legs are long too, but now they’re so atrophied that they look tiny and twiggy and my arms stand out even more. But why does it bother me?? These arms can lift me up to transfer, can push me through life even with legs that don’t cooperate. They can lift my favorite cousin onto my lap and push us around the house so fast that she screeches with joy. They sublux and dislocate and keep on going. So why should I care that they don’t look like what I’ve been told they should my entire life. My search for the “perfect” body nearly killed me, why in the world would I want arms that can’t work a drill press or throw my cousins in the air or take me through life? My arms are badass, and so am I.

Warmth - Sherlock

GIF not mine

Ship: Sherlock Holmes (BBC) x Reader

Summary: The depressing weather of London has been taking a toll plus a broken heater that won’t work isn't the best thing so you decided to pay a certain high-functioning sociopath a visit to brighten up your mood. 

Type: Fluff

Words: 1,460

Warnings: None

Notes: Told ya I'd post more than once today.

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It Wasn’t Me [Alya&Marinette Gen]


Alya never thought she would live to see the day that akuma would be seen as less of a threat and more of an annoyance.

Like most sane human beings, the first akuma that terrorized Paris put the fear of God in her. Stoneheart actually kept Alya up that night, flashlight pointed at the window and an oversized rolling pin she stole from Marinette under one arm if Hawkmoth decided to step to her.

But at some point, the people of Paris had to adjust to the fact that, on occasion, their city would be besieged by otherworldly creatures.

It was a fact of life no one really questioned anymore. More often than not, rampaging akuma were met with eye-rolls and sighs of annoyance from Parisians who simply shuffled into the nearest building, and waited for Ladybug and Chat Noir to show up and put the creature down so they could go about their days. To be blunt, the sheen of living in a super-powered city had worn off, to the point that akuma attack were like random apartment fires; unfortunate, but nothing out of the ordinary.

And unfortunately, nothing to cancel school over.

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Even more ho tips

Read more of my Ho tips here.

If you’re meeting him for dinner, he’s made a reservation and you have his name call the restaurant to ‘check it, cause I’m so forgetful and I didn’t want him to realise what a scatter brain I am’

Same with hotels. Don’t go getting your time wasted.

Use latex free condoms. I find them much gentler on my coochie. Avoid Durex Extra Safe like the plague.

Get exfoliating gloves. Use them before and after shaving on all areas you shave. No more ingrown hairs. If you do get, apply tea tree oil.

Shave your legs and underarms with coconut oil instead of shaving cream. Feels like heaven. Don’t use it on your cooch.

Always keep medication for thrush, cystitis and BV in your medicine cabinet. You have got to look after that little rainbow pot.

Wash your face with oil. No really. Goodbye, waterproof mascara, matte lipstick… Be gone!

When a pot sends a picture for the first time, be nice. I know, he looks like his face melted. Compliment his friendly smile, his inviting eyes…. Be creative.

If you’re a cam girl or someone who plays with toys often, use sterilising tablets (the ones parents use on baby bottles) to clean your toys. Rinse properly, let them air dry, and go fuck yourself. Ha!

Kitty Tutorial

Since daily life is full of boooring moments that need to be liven up, I have brought this to you…

So, get your art supply and let’s beggin! (ノ^ヮ^)ノ*:・゚✧

First, draw some brackets like in the picture above..

Then add the eyes and a mouth~

After that, draw the ears and close the head..

Oh! And don’t forget the whiskers!! (=^-ω-^=)

Now let’s draw some kind of triangle-shape body for our cat pls,don’t mind the ink excess of my pen ´ v `;;

Add some legs, the tail and… Tadaa! You have finished your little cat O(≧∇≦)O

Feel free to decorate it as you like~

And play with shapes and lines for getting interesting results d(=^・ω・^=)b They will look puntastic in your notes!

Have fun drawing kittens everywhere (。’▽’。)♡

A Place to Call Home pt. 4


Pairing: Dylan O'Brien x Reader

Wordcount: 4,717

Warnings: Language

A/N: This is one of the shorter parts but there is still quite a bit that happens. Once again, huge thank you to Chloe ( @writing-obrien) for letting me run an idea past her. As always, I hope you guys like it, let me know what you think. ENJOY! 

Originally posted by stiles-and-lydia-tho

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anonymous asked:

Why does Isak have a meme face as his facebook pic? They’re even on his walls. Like, I’m just. Major secondhand embarrassment lol

jkvjkvh leave the kid olooooone 

(but also. even sort of agrees with you. one afternoon, they’re chilling on isak’s bed, their backs to the wall and isak wants to show him this funny viral video he’s seen on facebook. and even sees it, that tobey maguire meme isak uses as his profile picture. and he asks him “is this your profile picture for real?” like he’s almost outraged. and isak just shrugs, like who cares anyway. “i’m really not a fan of tobey maguire as spider-man, like…how old was he when the first movie came out? thirty? grown adults playing teenagers is lame” and isak raises an eyebrow at him “are we really doing this right now?” 

and then even sits with his legs under him, facing isak and he looks at him for a second “your face is my favorite face. honestly this is totally a wasted opportunity” and isak just sighs and shakes his head a little and says “fine, fine, i’ll change it eventually” and now even’s the one raising an eyebrow at him before he reaches for his right pocket and grabs his phone. “just to be sure” 

“eveeeeen” isak kind of pouts at him as even points his phone in his direction. “baby, loosen up” isak can’t help the smile that reaches his eyes when he hears the word. even says  “let me take, like, five. tops” and isak replies “okay, five is fine” and he puts his computer on the floor next to the bed. and then even leans in and kisses him, gentle and slow. when he pulls away, isak’s eyes are half-closed and he whispers “why’d you do that?” and even puts a hand on his cheek and the corner of his lips form a little smile before he says “i love your face after i kiss you. it’s beautiful”  

so even takes five pictures, from different angles. he lifts isak’s chin up at some point, gives him a quick kiss on the jaw. and when he’s done, he hands out his phone to isak. “which one do you like best?” and isak looks at the pictures, pondering. “hmmm, i don’t know” and then he looks at even and says “wait. come here” and even goes to sit next to isak, and isak says “i think i know which one i want”. he opens the camera app, and both he and even appear on the screen. isak leans his head toward even and even understands, does the same 

later, when isak uploads the picture, jonas is the first one to “love” it, and he comments looking good :) and mahdi also likes the picture. and then an hour later, magnus leaves a comment and it says evak <3 . isak and even don’t notice it immediately, because they’re cuddling up and watching a movie. but when isak sees it, a couple of hours later, he shakes his head and lets out a little laugh. the truth is that it actually feels nice to not have that random and meaningless meme he’s had for over a year as his profile picture, it feels nice to want to share this. and when he takes a look at the picture again, and then glances over at even, he thinks to himself yeah, this feels nice)

How I first saw my mom’s vagina…

This is my mom pictured above in 1984 - aged 26. She’s now 59. This experience happened while she was 58 last year 👍💯

It all started when she opened her legs and pulled up her skirt while sitting by a campfire. She points to her vagina. Sure enough, a thick grey and black bush with a pulsating clit and dripping outer lips are exposed. She lets me look for a few minutes before closing her legs.

The next day she takes me into the bathroom and locks the door. N says “son, I’m going to show you my vagina up close and personal.” She then pulls down her pants and underwear and lets me look. She says that her bush isn’t as black as it used to be, but that she wanted me to see her greying bush.

I ask why- she says I’ve been very helpful lately. She says “son I’m gonna give you some head- how’d you like to feel your mom’s mouth around your cock?” I agree, and she sucks me off. 15 mins later, blow my load in her mouth. She swallows. I ask “mom, can I see your boobs and and ass?” Her big breasts and ass were something to behold. She lets me touch her for awhile, and then we get dressed. She then says “we’re gonna do something new tomorrow.” We leave the bathroom.

Now she walks around the house in skirts without her underwear… so awesome for a 22 year old guy like me!

I hope you enjoy this submission and will post it :)

Sure will, it’s a hot steamy story
Happy Birthday Waverly Earp - HaughtBreaker - Wynonna Earp (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Summary: Waverly Earp is used to being disappointed for her birthday, but she’s never spent her birthday with Nicole Haught before.

Note: So today is Waverly’s birthday and I thought I’d post a little birthday fic.

Originally posted by softwlws

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Lost Series // Part Nine

Part One  Part Two  Part Three  Part Four  Part Five  Part Six  Part Seven  Part Eight

Pairing : Jerome x Fem. Reader

Requests are closed. xx

Sorry if it’s kind of confusing.. I wanted it to be a little more interesting with Y/N getting her memories back and regular flashbacks just didn’t seem right. Lol. Oh and still not rewatching the episode so it’s not word for word. xx

Originally posted by punkbandsharry

Originally posted by intellectual-psychopath

Italics are memories ..

My breath was heavy and I couldn’t move my eyes away from the chair in front of me. It felt as if I just woke up from a coma. Different memories came back in flashes. At first it all came back, different pictures moving around my mind so fast I couldn’t make sense of it. It didn’t feel like memories. It felt like a movie that I’ve seen one too many times.

For the first time after being revived, I turned to look at Jerome. A gasp leaving me as I saw his face. I quickly pulled my hand up to cover my gaping mouth. Jerome noticed this and frowned slightly before allowing a haunting grin to overtake his features.

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anonymous asked:

Okay picture this; Phoenix looking for a ring to use to propose to Maya with but being too picky and indecisive about what to pick for her and Trucy ends up being forced to help him.

He has so many thoughts in his head:
“I want to get her the most amazing looking ring, but she wouldn’t like too gaudy but if I get too plain she’ll hate that too rip”
“OH but this one is pretty yet modest oh look I would have to sell my legs for that one”
First time in years he starts crying in defeat and Trucy just finds him OTL on the floor
Pearls and Trucy join forces to help their stupid Dad find a perfect ring for their picky Mom

That  I Had Hoped

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x Reader (female pronoun)

Genre : Angst, tiny bit of fluff

Warning : Major angst, I shed a tear while writing and also cursing

Word Count : 4884 words

A/N : This is the part 2 of ‘That I Have Regretted’, I was really hoping that the part 1 pulled your heartstrings to the point of almost snapping and judging by the comments some of you left me, I kinda did it??? loll anywho I’m also currently writing a romcom for Steve Rogers so make sure to look out for it! for those who wants to be on my taglist, dm me, I might accidentally skip it if you leave a comment on a story so just dm me and tell me that you want to be tagged for my upcoming stories. Btw I might make this into 3 or 4 parts ?? Let me know what you guys think about this story! Your input helps me write even better and if y’all hate looking at my face pls let me know so that I won’t make you guys feel uncomfortable while reading whatever it is I wrote and change my picture to a picture of someone or something else loll. - Nana 🌸

Originally posted by n-barnes


That I Have Regretted ( Part 1 of the series )

17 hours, 27 minutes and 48 seconds…

He waited that long for her.

He wouldn’t budge from his kneeling position he was in at the first 7 hours of the operation, no matter how his legs hurt from the awkward position and angle, no matter how his brain told him that he’s tired from all the fighting and that he needed rest, no matter how his stomach cried out for food and his throat croaked for water, he ignored it all so that he would be the first to know about (Y/N)’s condition.

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