listener (message): when i was a teenager i was a really gloomy child. it seemed like the whole world had turned it’s back on me. i believed i was the only one in the world. back then someone uttered these words to me: “everyone lives like that. you’re not the only one having a hard time. everyone lives in difficulty, and diligently, as much as you do.” at that time, rather than getting hurt by these words i thought: “that’s right so i’ve behaving like a child.” that’s why, from then on, i lived really diligently, only looking straight head. even though, because of my family’s circumstances, i got into college a bit late compared to other people, i pushed my own self with a rod of iron and i refused to face my own wounds since i trusted that, other than me, there are other people who are having a tough time and that everyone is living working hard as much as i do. i live diligently. then i thought: i could be even better, an even more of a good person. however, after i ran and ran diligently like that, now that i’m going to graduate i turned out to be someone who gets angry and annoyed at everything. i get angry at the words the other opponent would throw in without any meaning. i’d get angry with a: “what do you know?”. little by little i hated meeting other people and i’m just preparing to find a job while only looking straight ahead. however …, i suddenly got this thought: why am i comparing my own pain with other people’s suffering? why did i make other people’s misfortune the basis to my happiness? all of a sudden these words i heard years ago occurred to me again: “everyone lives like that. you’re not the only one having a hard time.” it seemed like i’d fall behind if i didn’t do anything, that i’d really become someone who’s oblivious to everything - casting a spell that everyone lives like that, that i’m not the only one having a tough time. i pressured and harassed myself. i couldn’t be caring to myself. i was only too strict to myself. i couldn’t love myself, the one that needed love the most. at last, i want to say this to myself: “you lived diligently. more than anybody else you lived fiercely. it’s alright. you can rest now.” today, my status message: “it’s alright even if you don’t do anything.”
jonghyun: “everyone lives like that, you’re not the only one having a hard time.” these words …, i think it’s the most wrong way of consolation in the world. the comparing with the other opponent, with different people. you know how there are these words? “live with the courage to die”; well …, these words? i think it’s the worst way of consolation. comfort …, to someone who’s having a hard time, someone who’s gloomy / depressed, to an exhausted person, to say: “when you get these thoughts, think of …, when you get those thoughts, courageously, do something different …, ya, right now, since you’re having a hard time like that: you’re exhausted, tired and having negative thoughts. i think it’d be good to quickly put that energy on the move and quickly take care of the work you need to get done.” to be honest, that person was aware of this too. they already know it’ll be solved by quickly moving on. they really immensely wish for it to be that way. however, it’s not working that way. there’s another thing other than the body’s wounds that you can see with your own eyes: it’s the heart’s wounds and, because of that, when comforting someone, i think one should think of how there’s certainly another existence, something that my eyes can’t see. of course, me too, while talking about this, since there are certainly words i gave to someone and wounds i’ve received from someone, i wanted to complain and talk a bit about this to our dear listeners. when comforting someone, rather than consoling them by comparing, whether comparing them to yourself or another person’s situation, i think it’d be nice to just have a talk about that person, them solely.
“Why are you standing up, sit
down, this isn’t a joke.” You said, still in disbelief staring up at him, mouth
“This isn’t a joke. I’m well
aware of that” He gave you a serious look, contrast to the expression he
“But Baekhyun…” You whispered,
still shocked. How could he be the son of a tyrant it just did not make sense,
and now you found yourself questioning his motives. The men were staring at Baekhyun
in surprise, Jongin and Kris in particular.
“I don’t fucking believe this.”
Junmyeon rolled his eyes heavenwards, letting out an exasperated sigh. “All
this time I’ve had my biggest enemies children in my unit and a traitor here
too who we thought we all loved dearly, who the heck am I supposed to trust?!”
He banged his fists on the table looking at Baekhyun, with rage in his eyes. “Who
the heck are you Baekhyun and what do you want?!”
Baekhyun shuffled uncomfortably
in his spot, but he was staring intensely at Jongin and Kris, maybe he was just
really beginning to process the fact that they were his brothers.
“I’m here to get rid of Red too.
My story is the same as their stories, The only difference being it was me and
my sister, but he did to her what he did to Kris. He drowned her, unfortunately
this time he succeeded. We were twins, we did everything together.” Baekhyun
frowned angrily, banging his fists on the table tears coming to his eyes. “She
was only 15. A part of me died with her, a part that I’ll never get back. Red
is a fucking menace and he needs to be put down permanently.” Baekhyun flopped
down into his seat, staring at his hands shaking in his lap.
“I’m so sorry Baekhyun, don’t
worry we’ll get him.” Kris said bowing his head.
Jongdae stood up slowly walking
towards the fridge. “I’m so baffled, I need a drink. I can’t believe you’re all
related.” You were with Jongdae on this one; you were still bewildered by the
fact that Jongin, Kris and Baekhyun were brothers.
“Wait Jongin I have a question
for you.” You spoke up, you still weren’t one hundred percent sure about all of
this and you needed to clarify every single detail. “I found a sheet of paper
in your room; it was almost like a checklist. You said you had to kill Luhan
because he knew more than he was supposed to, what does that mean?”
He nodded quickly towards your
direction, clearing his throat he began to talk. “He found out that I was Red’s
son, he didn’t know that at first, you see Luhan’s father was The Professor,
“The guy I killed…” You looked
at the floor, disgusted in yourself, you tried so hard to repress that dark memory
in the back of your mind, it made you feel like a monster, as though you were
subhuman. Jongin gave you a sorry look
but nodded nonetheless.
“Red and The Professor had been
partners for a number of years. But I know for a fact that the professor wasn’t
happy with the percentage of his share, so if Luhan had made my identity known
it would’ve blown up, then I’m sure he’d have had me killed and blamed it on
Red somehow and then he would’ve been publicly shamed and lost his half of the
business, or all of it meaning it would be in the Professor’s hands. Don’t get
me wrong, I didn’t care about the damaging Red’s status part of it all, but I
did care about him trying to take me out.”
“Okay well what about Tao and
Kris, you said something about there being more to them if I remember
correctly.” You continued to pry, you were making sure to expose him if there
was anything that he was hiding.
“At the time, I didn’t know if
they were genuinely on our side or not so I was trying to delve deeper that’s
all there is to it.”
You nodded your head, but you
still had one question left. The most crucial in your opinion.
“Okay so explain this to me. On
the night of the hotel incident, Red initially acted like he didn’t know you,
but then he acted as though he knew you were working for Genesis, but he knows
your his son and…ugh i’m just so confused.”
Jongin sighed deeply, pushing his
hair out of his face. “Look it’s hard to explain. Nobody but him and us know
that Me, Kris and apparently now Baekhyun are his children, so he has to act
like he doesn’t know me and act like I’m against him and working for Genesis.
Ironic thing is though I really am working for Genesis, he just doesn’t know
that, he basically thought me coming in the day of the hotel incident was to
favour him, but in all honesty I ambushed him and we set his produce alight.”
It was starting to make a little
bit more sense now. Jongin had to pretend to play undercover in Red’s company
in order for him to be undercover in Genesis. You were just hoping everything
You stood up from your seat and began to walk out of the kitchen, still trying
to process everything. When you felt a hand on your shoulder, you turned around
slowly to see Baekhyun.
“Y/N, hey I…I know I’m Red’s
son, but I hope that doesn’t change your attitude towards me, I’m still me and
I promise I’m on Junmyeon’s side. I just hope you guys don’t decide to treat me
any different than you have up until now.”
You shook your head smiling at him softly; he looked so cute with a pout
painted across his face.
“Baekhyun it’s okay I believe
you, I’m sorry about what happened to you and your sister…” You hung your
“Thanks. I –I just miss her every
day you know. She was my best friend, we couldn’t be separated. And then she was
taken, just like that.” He smiled sadly, gulping to stop himself from crying. “Will
you excuse me for a moment please…?” Baekhyun side stepped you and continued
walking down the corridor, you let out a sigh. Life just continued to keep on
becoming challenging in this house and it was becoming quite suffocating.
You crept into the living room; you needed some time to reflect on everything
that had gone on lately. The revelation of who Jongin, Kris and Baekhyun were,
Minseok’s death, his apparent resurrection and whatever was going on between
the two of you. Also you needed to think about what you’d do with Yixing. Not
bothering to switch on the light you let out a loud sigh and dropped down on
the sofa behind you.
“OUCH! For fuck sake!”
You jumped up again, in complete
and utter shock, looking down at the sofa.
“Oh my goodness, Sehun I didn’t see you there I’m sorry.”
“Stupid bitch…” He mumbled,
sitting up with a displeased expression on his face. You walked closer to the
door to switch on the light so you could see properly.
“Don’t worry I won’t bother you.”
You sat on a different sofa to him, hugging a cushion to your chest and staring
at nothing in particular.
“So Baekhyun’s one of them too? I heard you guys talking from here.”
Sehun muttered quietly, peering at you from where he was lying on his sofa.
“Yes he is.” You answered, not
wanting to talk too much. You liked Sehun the least out of all of the boys, he
still hadn’t given you a chance to like him yet. In fact you pretty much hated
“I know you’ve been hanging out
with Minseok lately, you’re reaction to his death was way too emotional for someone that has tried killing you multiple times. I just
want you to know that Minseok is my best friend so don’t you dare try and get
too comfortable. Minseok is all I have left. The boys are great but Minseok is
really all I have.” He looked at you through angry eyes.
“Sehun, I’m not trying to steal
Minseok from you, but have you ever considered for a moment what it’s like
being in this house for me. It’s really really hard, I’m trying so hard to adjust
and to get along with you guys, but someone’s always angry at me. I miss home.
I’m sick of seeing the same four walls everyday, but yet I’m just stuck” You
sighed heavily resting your head into the cushion in your lap.
Sehun scoffed. “Do you think I
wanted to be here? I’m in the same position as you Y/N. I was on the plane to
Iceland for holiday, when my mum died in my arms.” You gasped, sitting up and
facing him properly.
“I literally sat there…with her
dead body in my hands, and I felt her getting colder and colder. She was taking Supplements
by Red then, that’s what killed her. It was only me and my mum, when I lost her
I lost everything. I have an older sister, but she never really wanted to
know she was too busy loving up her husband and chasing money, she didn’t take
me in. So I ended up here. Luhan and Minseok practically raised me after my mum died, but Luhan…”
He stopped, trying to recompose himself and to stop himself from crying again. “You’ve not lost anyone Y/N, you’re
the one who doesn’t know how it feels.”
“That’s not true Sehun, I’ve lost
myself. I’m not the person I used to be I just feel like an empty shell.
Besides, my family have lost me, you can’t imagine that I feel good about that
do you?” He paused for a moment, looking at you in silence and then rolling his
“That’s nothing compared to
having your mother die in your arms.” He got up and walked out of the room. You
felt somewhat bad, trying to make it as though your issues were bigger than
his, that was definitely not your intention. You were becoming really fed up
with everything about your life right now, it seemed to be a burden instead of
“Board now!” You heard Junmyeon
shout, as if on impulse you stood up and made your way there. You didn’t need
to, it’s not like you were part of the underground group but it had become
something automatic now. Every single man was in the room this time, including
Minseok, who decided to sit on one side of you, Chanyeol on the other side.
“I think it’s time we start
planning how we’re going to take Red down, don’t you?” Junmyeon said, looking around
the table at everyone’s faces. “We need all hands on deck. That includes you
Your eyes widened. You? Again?
This was not going to end well, it never did.
“I’m not comfortable with that.”
Chanyeol frowned, looking at Junmyeon and resting his hand on your shoulder.
“Chanyeol, we don’t have too much
of a choice. Plus she’s capable she’ll be okay. She always has been.” Your face
contorted, why was he putting you out on the front line again, it never went
well when you were around, and you were not trained to take out Red, you weren’t
trained for anything at all, you were just here by an unfortunate accident.
“Actually. I agree with Chanyeol,
maybe she should stay.” Minseok spoke up to your side, he was defending you and
it was making your heart flutter involuntarily. You heard Yixing scoff from
across the table.
“Of course you’d agree with him.”
You looked up him through pleading eyes, that were begging him to keep quiet,
but he didn’t care. “You want to protect your girlfriend don’t you?”
“Yixing…”You whispered. The
rest of the boys looked at you and Minseok confused, whilst Minseok was trying
to kept a straight and unsuspecting face.
“Will you tell them or shall I?”
He asked you spitefully, looking at you through angry eyes.
“Tell us what?” Jongin frowned,
looking at you, but you were still looking worriedly at Yixing in silence.
“The fact that they’re sleeping
with each other. I’m pretty sure I walked in on them prepping for sex or just
finishing it up.” He raised an eyebrow, everyone turned around looking at the both of
you in shock apart from Jongin and Chanyeol, who both seemed slightly
“That’s not true is it Y/N?”
Chanyeol nudged you in the side with his elbow.
“No it’s not! I’ve not been
Yixing laughed sarcastically,
crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his seat smugly. “Well I
definetly saw you two kissing, you couldn’t keep your hands, and lips off of
each other for that matter.”
Chanyeol nudged you in your side
You stood up from your seat and
walked out of the room angrily, calling back behind you.
“I don’t have time for this shit!”
“Why won’t you deny it then?!” Chanyeol shouted after you.
That’s it. That’s my thought. I have nothing more to say about this episode.
Obvi kidding. BUT SERIOUSLY, THE END OF THIS EPISODE!
This episode, for me, is like last year’s finale in that I liked it, but it made me dislike the Claire stuff in the prior episodes even more by comparison. Like from now on my own personal headcanon is that Claire’s story goes from ep. 213 straight to ep. 305 and I feel like I wouldn’t really be missing out on anything super important. Except I *do* feel like I’m missing out on super important stuff, but what I feel like I’m missing can’t be found by watching the previous episodes.
Everything in this episode feels like the culmination of things the show chose not to go into. So like we get the destination, but without the depth and meaning that would have come from seeing the journey.
Like Claire and Joe are obviously awesome friends. But we know literally nothing about Joe except that he’s Claire’s friend. We can infer a bunch of stuff about him and their friendship just based on the fact that he’s a black man becoming a surgeon and she’s a woman doing the same, but that’s not the same thing as actually investing in and building that relationship, and showing how they’ve become so close that he’s the only person Claire will talk to about Jamie. Geillis and Mary and Louise all got to be more fully formed characters in prior seasons in addition to being Claire’s friend. And I’m really bummed we didn’t get the same with Joe.
We see Claire being badass as a surgeon, but like none of what it took to get her there. Healing is at the core of who Claire is. To jump over her reaching the peak of her calling seems like a wasted opportunity to really get into how fully embracing that part of herself gave her purpose in her 20th century life when she didn’t feel like she had any.
Bree and Claire have some really intense conversations and we see them bond and Bree manages to not make me hate her. But we are missing 20 years of their relationship. What was it like between them when Claire was in med school? What was it like between them after Frank died but before they went to Scotland? Bree has said she noticed that Claire had walls up or was distant, but we don’t see that as Bree is growing up because we really don’t see Bree growing up.
So yeah. Overall I liked the episode (seriously, the end of it is basically perfect!), but I feel like all the pieces leading up to this episode are missing. And that makes me a bit sad. But what’s aired has aired and fanfic exists so I guess that’s what I’ll be diving into during the week off before ep. 306.
“It’s totally fate!” Your over excited best friend exclaimed for the 5th time.
You rolled your eyes as you retrieved your books from your locker, then shut the door with a slam and looked at her; “I’ve already told you, it’s just a stage kiss. It doesn’t mean anything.” You explained, but she didn’t even bat an eyelash.
“Yea, you say that, but I know in your heart that you WANT it to mean something.” She pressed on, giving you a wink.
You ignored the pink hue that had tinted your cheeks. and started trudging to the next class you had.Just like always, your friend was right.
Drama, and acting were your passion. You loved to take on different roles, each more exciting or thrilling than the last.
And coincidentally, so did your not-so-little crush, Mark Lee.
He wasn’t the most popular guy in school, no he was that guy’s best friend. Popular nonetheless, just not as much.
He had a very calming aura that could make even the tensest person relax, and it drew people to him, including you.
You both had been in the same drama class since freshman year, and had been in a fair amount of plays, and musicals together.
However, in those shows, there had never been a time where you both had the two leading male and female roles.
This time it was different. Your school was putting on a production of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.
It was one of your all time favorites, and you just knew that you wanted to be Juliet.
You had put your heart, and soul into the audition, impressing your teacher, and causing fury, and jealously to bubble in the stomachs of the other girls auditioning.
After your performance, you stepped down from the stage, and went back to the dressing rooms to collect your bag and some books. When you stepped out, a voice startled you.
“You were amazing up there, I could feel your passion.” Mark said, leaning against the wall, with his hands lazily shoved in the pockets of his worn out ripped jeans.
He offered you a shy smiled, which you returned. “Thanks, I just hope it was good enough to land me the part.” You replied, a light blush grazing your cheeks as Mark began to walk with you, making your heart pound.
“If you don’t get it, I’ll smack the teacher myself. You really deserve it.” He grinned playfully.
A giggle slipped past your lips before you could stop it and you looked down bashfully at the floor. “Thank you, again. It really means a lot to me.” You said quietly.
Mark stopped outside of the boys dressing room. “No problem, and who knows, maybe I’ll be your Romeo.” He said slyly, before entering the room, letting the door shut behind him.
If you had been blushing before, it was nothing compared to the deep tomato color you were at that moment.
As fate works in wonderful ways, you did end up receiving the role of Juliet. And seeing as how the universe likes to mess with people’s lives, Mark had been given the part of Romeo.
All the girls had given you dirty looks the moment the cast list was posted, but you brushed them off.
With your best friend by your side, you nervously scanned the list for your name.
Y/N L/N – Juliet
Your friend squealed, and crushed you in a hug. You were beyond happy of course, but something threw you off. It was the name below yours.
Mark Lee – Romeo
All of a sudden, Mark was beside you, running his eyes down the list with his posse behind him.
Once he saw his name, he grinned widely and turned to his friends.
“I got the part!” He yelled, excitement twinkling is his eyes. His best friend, Donghyuck, fist bumped him and looked at the list himself while the rest of their group congratulated him.
“Oh lookie here! Mark gets to lock lips with Y/N!” He smirked at you, and Mark shoved him.
“Shut up man, leave her alone.” He said quietly as he dragged the younger boy to the door, flashing you an apologetic smile before exiting the room with the others following.
Your best friend nudged your ribs. “Funny how the world works huh? C'mon, let’s go celebrate.” She said, and you allowed her to pull you to the exit.
When the day of the play finally arrived, you were more nervous than you ever had been for a show.
Rehearsals were more calm, but this time, it was for real.
Meaning, you and Mark would actually kiss.
During practice, your lips never touched, just hovered because the director said it was “bad luck”.
Your palms were sweaty and you couldn’t stop your hands from tugging at the collar of the dress you had on.
The theater was already packed full when you peeked from backstage.
You could see your parents, friends, and even your grandparents. A hand grabbing your shoulder snapped you back into reality and you came face to face with the devil himself.
Mark’s face held a steady grin. “Are you ready?” He asked giddily, bouncing on his heels.
All the saliva dried from your tongue, so you found yourself nodding instead of speaking.
“Well, break a leg out there! You’re gonna do great!"His encouraging words made your confidence boost up a bit and you let out the breath you didn’t notice you were holding.
"Thanks, you too.” Was your response.
The lights went down and the blinding spot lights flashed. Taking a deep breath, you gathered as much courage as you could, then walked out.
Soon the play was nearing an end, and the time for the kiss scene was close.
The heart beat in your chest was beating erratically while you desperately tried to hype yourself up in your head.
The feelings of nervousness and excitement were swirling around in the pit of your stomach, making you dizzy.
Mark stepped towards you, and gently cupped your cheeks, treating you as if you were made of the most fragile glass, the familiar motion bringing back memories from previous rehearsals.
Almost like he could sense the anxious vibes radiating off your body, Mark flashed a quick smile, before leaning towards you.
Your hands rested on his shoulders, and you prayed that you weren’t squeezing them in a death grip.
After what felt like years but was only seconds, your lips finally came in contact with Mark’s.
They were plush, soft, and tasted faintly of his vanilla chapstick.
You willed all those shaky feelings from your mind, and really put all your passion into the kiss.
Mark felt like he was floating, not knowing you felt the same.
He almost forgot that you both were just acting, and slowly pulled away, savoring every last second.
As the scene came to an end, and loud applause erupted from the audience, he knew he wouldn’t forget the taste of your strawberry lip gloss.
Backstage was less hectic and busy than before the show, but all the actors and actresses were buzzing in happiness. “Good job all of you! That was spectacular!” The director said, causing the cast to cheer for all their hardwork.
Mark was looking around until he finally spotted you, changed into your casual clothes while talking to your best friend.
He walked over in a rush, just as your friend had gone. “Uh…h-hey.” He stuttered out, mentally slapping himself.
Lucky for him, you smiled and sat up straighter. “Hi.”
Awkwardly rubbing the back of his head, he struggled to find his words. “That kiss was…really something. I could feel the emotion.” He complimented, watching as your cheeks flushed.
“Well, that means I’m a good actress right?” You asked playfully.
“Of course! You’re one of the best actresses I’ve ever seen!” Mark said, not realizing what he said until he said it.
His words made your heart flutter and soar even higher in the cloud you felt you were on. Your lips still tingled from the kiss.
“Funny how something that looks real, means nothing.” You let out, looking away.
Mark frowned a bit.
“It meant something to me…” he mumbled shyly.
Your eyes were saucers when you heard him. “Really?!”
He only nodded, clearly embarrassed. “Yea, I mean I’ve only had a crush on you since 9th grade, so…” he explained with a shrug.
Pink dusted over his face and spread to the tips of his ears.
“Well then, why don’t we hang out sometimes. Maybe we can practice some lines together?” You suggested, a bright grin glued onto your face.
He met your eyes and nodded eagerly. “Y-Yea that sounds great!”
“And to think I was so nervous about a kiss…” you thought to yourself
Prompt/Summery: “I heard you were my number one fan!”
“Did you see that Spider-man video on youtube?!” Liz Allen said in gym class on the bleachers with her group of friends. I was sitting from a distance from her group with my sketch pad on my lap. Ironically, I was drawing Spider-man. He has been the number one talk at Midtown High. I continue drawing while trying to ignore Liz’s conversation.
Until a kid Ned said, “Peter knows Spider-man!” I look up to see Peter looking at Ned like he was crazy. Peter turned back to look at Liz, but his eyes quickly looked into mine. I felt my whole face turn red, so I looked back down at my sketch pad.
You see, I have had a crush on Peter since 6th grade in middle school when he commented on my art work in science class. We ended being lab partners, but I don’t think he recognizes me. I’m practically a nobody.
“I-I mean, through the Stark internship which I’m not supposed to talk about!” Peter said while also looking at Ned like he was going to murder him.
“Well, maybe you could invite him to Liz’s party,” a girl said next to Liz. “Right, Liz?”
“If you want to come Peter, you guys are invited,” Liz said. On that note, the bell finally rang. I quickly get up go change in the locker room.
My next class was Chemistry, with Peter! I sat down at my lonley table in the back of the class. Next think I know, the teacher pulls down a seating chart for the class on the screen. Thankfully I was at the same table, but I wasn’t going to be alone. I was with Peter Parker. I could feel my hands shaking from nerves.
I watch Peter walk into the class, look at the screen, and look at me. My face turns into a cherry again. I look down at my drawing of spider-man and start touching up on it. I heard him sit down next to me. He starts getting out his stuff for class. “Hey, (Y/N)! We get to be partners again!” Peter exclaims.
My head shots up to look at him. “You remember me?” I ask quietly.
“How could I not? You’re amazing at drawing and science. Like, look at the Spider-man drawing, it’s amazing!” he smiles.
“O-oh! Well, thank you! Uh, you’re amazing, too. A-at science, I mean,” I say. I can’t believe he remembers me! I always thought I was an outsider that no one payed attention to.
He laughs at my awkwardness, “Thank you, as well. Uh, h-how much do you like spider-man?” Peter wonders.
“Oh gosh, a lot. H-he’s just so cool! He’s so different from the other superheroes. I don’t know! He’s so fascinating! It’s always so awesome to watch him climb on walls and swing from his webs. Plus, he’s always watching over the city!” I rant. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to knock your ear off.”
Peter chuckled, “You couldn’t knock my ear off. Ned talks way more. Ya know, I could give that drawing to Spider-man himself if you’d like.”
“What? Oh no, it’s fine. He doesn’t need to see this, There are plenty of other artist he could find on google,” I say closing my sketch book and putting it on my lap.
“He would love it, (Y/N)! I’ll tell him you’re his number one fan!” Peter suggests. I open my sketch pad up to the drawing of Spider-man. I sign my name at the bottom and right a little message. I tore out the page and handed it to Peter.
“Here, he can have it,” I said blushing.
Peter smiles at the drawing and puts it in his bag. “So, are you going to Liz’s party tonight?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t really belong at parties,” I say fumbling with my pencil.
Peter nods understanding, “Well, I would love for you to come! With me, maybe? And my friend Ned, so it’s not so awkward. Plus, I’d like to hang out with you sometime.”
My eyes felt like they could pop out of my head. I was shocked. Peter Parker wanted to hang out with me. “Me? Y-you want to hang out with me?!” I ask.
“Why not? You seem like a lot of fun,” Peter smiles. That was the last thing he said to me before class started because the teacher walked in the room to start the lesson.
For the rest of the day, I couldn’t concentrate on anything. My crush wanted to hang out with me. I thought he didn’t know who I was, but he wants to be my friend! I went home and screamed into my pillow while kicked my legs as if I was swimming in a pool.
I changed my clothes from skinny jeans, a baggy shirt, and black converse to a lilac, flowy dress with white Keds. I touched up my makeup and brushed my hair about 10 times before walking out the door with my mother taking me to the party.
I could feel my palms going sweaty from nerves. I wiped my hands on the seat of the car. My mom asked me questions like, “Why have you decided to go to a party? Have you made new friends? Is there a boy?!” Mom questions like that. Once my mom dropped me off at Liz’s house and left, my heart dropped to my stomach. I felt like I didn’t belong. I slowly walked to the door and opened it to see a lot of people with red cups and food in their hands.
I stepped in, closed the door, and looked around the house. It was a big, beautiful home. Liz must be lucky! I looked to my right to see the kitchen with inside the house, Peter and Ned. I took a deep breath and walked over to Peter. Ned instantly saw me and nudged Peter’s side. Once Peter saw me, his eyes grew, and I don’t understand why.
“Hey, Peter, Ned,” I slightly smiled.
“H-hey, (Y/N)! You l-look amazing!” Peter said blushing.
I blushed as well looking down at myself, “Oh, well, thank you! Nice hate, Ned!” I said.
“Thanks (Y/N)! I think it compliments me!” Ned says smiling.
I giggle at his reply. I look around to see lights glowing around the house. It felt very awkward standing here with no conversation flowing. “Well, I’m going to get myself a drink. Seeing that there is no drink in the kitchen, ironically. Be right back,” I said backing away into the crowd of animals. I turned around and zipped through the crowd.
Once I found some soda, I headed back to the kitchen. Sadly, Peter had disappeared leaving Ned by himself. “Ned, where did Peter go?” I ask.
“O-oh! He want to.. the.. bathroom! Yeah! It might take him a while,” he replied awkwardly.
I nodded slowly, “Okay, well, when you see him, tell him to meet me in the living room.” I walk over to an empty couch, sat, and waited.
After a few hours, I grew bored. I texted my mom to come pick me up. I knew I shouldn’t have come to the party. I was basically stood up. Obviously Peter and I weren’t on a date, but he invited me to the party and didn’t even hang out with me. It didn’t seem like hung out with Ned either seeing as that Ned was in an empty bedroom this whole time.
I rode home in silence. I knew if I spoke, I would start crying. I walked to my room with tears forming in my eyes. I was just a loser a party. I sat on my bed and quietly cried. I grabbed my sketch book off of my desk and started to doodle.
Next think I know, I heard a tapping on my window. I wiped the tears away and walked over to my winder to see Spider-man. The Spider-man!
I open my window and slide it up. “Is this the residence of (Y/N)?” he asked.
I blushed and cleared my throat, “T-that’s me!”
“Can I come in, please?” Spider-man asked. I stepped away from my window to let him crawl in. He does and enters into my room. He was wearing his iconic suite with a backpack on his back.
“How did you find where I lived?” I asked folding my arms and sitting on my bed. Spider-man sat next to me.
“My friend Peter Parker. He’s a cool guy,” he says.
I nodded. I didn’t know what to say. I was being incredibly shy. “So, uh, w-why are you here?” I wonder.
Spider-man pulled out a folded piece of paper from his backpack. I started to feel my face go hot. He opened up the paper to reveal my drawing I gave to Peter. “I heard you were my number one fan! This is also really amazing! Thank you so much!”
“It’s nothing really. It’s just a sketch,” I said.
“Well, I think it’s one fantastic sketch,” he said putting the drawing back in his bag. “So, uh, how come you’re all dressed up?”
I frowned and looked down at my lap. “I was at a party. Peter actually invited me, but stupid me thought he wanted to really hang out with me. Don’t tell him this, but I really like him. I know he likes Liz because of the way he looks at her. I won’t ever compare to her, but I thought this could be a chance to open myself. I guess not,” I explained. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I don’t even know you.”
“Well, Peter is a jerk for stooding you up like that. I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry, he’ll come around,” Spider-man says taking my hands in his. “I gotta go, okay? I’ll visit again soon!” He stands up and crawls back out my window. I stood up as well to watch him shoot webs from house to house flying across the sky.
Can I request a Benny Rodriguez (the sandlot) imagine where you’re dating Benny and Smalls is your little sister and all the other guys think you’re really hot and they tease Benny when they see a hickey on your neck? Thanks love!!”
Word Count: 942
A/N: I changed it up a bit. I hope you still like it!
The yelling of baseball terms filled my ears as I entered the sandlot to grab my brother, Scotty “Smalls”. He neglected to do some of his chores before leaving to go play baseball with all these dweebs. I scan the field until I spot my brother, my twin brother. He may be older than me by a minute and twelve seconds, but I’m a lot more mature and responsible compared to him. My eyes locked on my brother.
“SCOTTY!” I yelled at the top of my lungs
Everyone jumped and looked towards me, they stared like they’ve never seen a girl before. I’ve never been here when people were actually playing, and I’ve never met these kids before. They huddled together while I just stared at them and crossed my arms against my chest. They kept looking up at me, it was kind of creeping me out.
“MOM IS MAD AT YOU. IF YOU DON’T COME OVER NOW I WILL COME OVER THERE AND DRAG YOU MYSELF.” I yelled once again at the group of boys.
My brothers starts to jog toward me and I start heading towards home again.
“Why is mom mad at me?” He questioned as he tilted his head
“You forgot to put the dishes away, put the towels back, and grab your laundry.”
We got to the house and Scotty wanted to say something but then continued to avoid the subject.
I was in bed in my pajamas reading a magazine when I heard a knock on my door.
“Who is it?”
“Come in.” I said as I sat up and put the magazine down.
He closed my door and pulled up a chair next to my bed.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“This is gonna be weird…” He said as he started trailing off.
“Just spit it out.”
“Me and the boys were talking.. actually, they were just asking me about you…’
“They think you’re hot…and they want you to come to the sandlot tomorrow…” He said as he started to rub the back of his neck.”
“Yeah….. I’ll come. But this was a very weird way of asking me.” I chuckled.
He left my room and I turned off my lamp and fell asleep.
*The next day*
We ate breakfast, did our chores, then headed to the sandlot. We talked about how all his friends thought I was hot.
“Did you explain that we’re twins?” I said as a chuckle escaped my lips.
“Nope, you called me over before I could even mention it.”
We laughed about this whole ordeal all the way to the sandlot. Everyone was already huddled up. Scotty made his way to his friends and I made my way to the sidelines. I watched their game as each of them tried their hardest to flirt and impress me.
Minutes and then hours went by. Eventually the baseball game came to an end and we all made our way to the best pizzeria in town.
They were all flirting with me the entire way there, except Benny. Come to think of it, he hasn’t said a word to me all day.
We ordered our pizza and the one vital question popped up.
“So, Y/N. How much older than Smalls are you?” Ham asked.
Scotty and I looked at each other and gulped.
“Actually…” I cleared my throat. “He’s older than me… by one minute and twelve seconds… Scotty and I are twins…”
Everyone’s jaws dropped, except Benny’s, he just clenched his jaw. Scotty and I shot each other a look that was worth more than a thousand words.
No one knew how to react. Everyone was confused.
Squints was the first one to break the silence.
“So, Y/N, how is hot babe like you the younger twin of a dweeb like that?”
This set off a whole conversation of being a twin that my brother and I were not expecting.
We ate delicious pizza and discussed love life, twin life, and summer plans.
The sun was just about to kiss the horizon and we all decided to go home. Benny and I stayed behind to clean up our stall a tad bit.
“You didn’t talk much, if at all today.” I said as we left the shop.
We made our way onto the stone bridge separating our part of town from main street.
I leaned against the rail of the bridge.
“What do I need to do get you to talk?’
“Kiss me.” He finally said.
I leaned in and our lips touched. My heart fluttered with content. New sensations danced around my body.
Benny’s lips trailed to my neck, eventually finding my sweet spot.
After what seemed like hours, we talked about our life as we walked to our houses. He liked me and I liked him.
I went to bed one happy girl that night.
I woke up at noon. panicking until I remembered that my parents went on a lunch date and Scotty and his friends went to the pool.
I’m not much of a swimmer so I ate lunch and walked all the way down to the town pool.
I enter through the dressing room and I look at the mirror and see three hickies on my neck.
“Well damn…” I thought to myself.
I make my way to my brother and his friends and before I could even announce my presence, Squints made an announcement.
“Damn Y/N who sucked your neck?”
Both Benny and I blushed heavily and the boys started hollering and teasing us for what seemed like hours.
Warnings: Insecurities, comparing self and relationship to others, mentions of repercussions from abuse (just in passing in one sentence)
A/n:So for Christmas I got a shirt that says Beacon Hills Lacrosse on the Front and Lahey 14 on the back and I was wearing it and putting things away and a piece of dialogue came to mind and this is what become of that! I hope you enjoy it. Also Overweight/Plus Size!Reader!
This is the last imagine for 2016! So I just wanted to say, despite all the shit he put us through, here’s to 2016. We survived! We all my be a little worse for wear but we did it and that’s something to be thankful for. May 2017 be less of everything this year was. I thought of some pretty creative names to call this year but I didn’t think any of them were appropriate enough for an author’s note…
“I can’t do this!” I groan as Jin
drags me behind him through the forest. We spent most of the night figuring out
where the black dragon’s home base is located and finding a quick path back to
the camp so we, or I guess I mean they, can run back after. The land near the
massive mansion reeks of them, not in a bad way it’s just so over whelming for
me. I smell four wolves inside, three are unfamiliar and one is the wolf from
yesterday. A small sigh of relief leaves my lips when I know the head alpha is
not there, though that is a problem that Jin quickly realizes.
“The head alpha is out,” Jin
informs the group, stopping us just behind the last row of trees that separate
the forest from their main property. There
is a green house on one side of the mansion, I can smell flowers and fruits and
vegetables. Even with the massive windows on the back of the house I can’t see
a single person inside but I know they are here. “They know we’re here.”
“How can you tell?” Tae stares into
the house with so much focus I feel like his eyes are going to pop out of his
“They are coming out,” Jin nods in
the direction of the green house. Four figures step out and scan the forest
line. Jin quickly tucks me behind him.
“Come out, come out where ever you
are,” One sing songs. His voice sounds so warm and alluring I almost feel
tempted to obey but Jin’s firm grip on my arm keeps me low.
Another sighs, already bored with
the situation, “We know you are out there, don’t make us come look for you.”
“So many trespassers in two day? I
wonder if they are with that mutt we cut up last night,” One chuckles in a deep
My heart shatters at those words,
“Cut up?” I echo.
“What a pretty voice,” The first
Another hums in agreement, “I
wonder what pretty little creature it came from.”
“Should we go find out?”
The annoyed one voices his opinion,
“I think we should just slaughter them now before the hyungs come back.”
“If you insist.”
“Wait,” Namjoon sighs as he stands
up from cover. “No need to bring out your claws.”
“You are trespassing on our
territory, that gives us permission to slit your throats without question.
Lucky for you though, I’m feeling friendly today, now tell us what you are
doing here.” The first voice demands.
“The rest of you stand too, I want
to know who had the pretty voice,” The other commands. Jin pulls me up with
him, still blocking me from view. The others join us, Joon is standing at
point, Jin and Yoongi are flanking him with the other three standing at the
Namjoon bows as he introduces
himself, “I am Kim Namjoon, we came looking for our pup, you caught him
yesterday. We are sorry for being on your territory, we didn’t realize who you
were until after. So if you could just give us back our pup we will be on our
“Why would we just hand him over?
We have a nice new chew toy.”
“We have something that you want
more,” He offers.
One chuckles, “What do you have
that we would want?”
There is a brief moment of silence
before a chorus of growls come from the four alphas, “Mate.” I cling to Jin’s
jacket, both out of fear and excitement. There is a silent fight for dominance
as both my pack and my mates release their alpha pheromones. My omega instincts
are screaming at me to drop to my knees and bare my neck, to submit just to get
this to stop. I hold on to Jin tighter as my knees begin to loose their ability
to hold me up. Jin, who is masking my scent, notices my suddenly trembling
“Where is she? Do you have her with
you? Where the fuck is she?” The first demands impatiently.
“We want our pup first, but since neither
your head alpha, or your second in command, aren’t here we are going to have to
come back later.”
“There is no way in hell we are
letting you leave without handing over our mate.”
“We aren’t holding her back, she’s
here for the pup as well,” Jin tells them, slipping a hand behind his back he
offers it to me for stability and comfort. I accept it and let out a breath I
didn’t even realize I was holding. “Please reel your pheromones in though, you
are scaring her.”
“Why can’t we smell her?” The first
whines almost desperately.
“I’m masking her scent with mine.”
“Stop it,” Another snaps.
“It makes her feel safe, so no.”
One growls, “We would never hurt
Jin scoffs, “Your head alpha almost
killed her thirty years ago. You,” Jin raises his free hand to gesture to one
of them, “you almost attacked her yesterday.”
“Yes, you. But you missed her and
attacked our pup instead.”
“Can we at least see her?”
“I don’t know,” Jin hums, “It’s all
up to her. Do you want to see them Insoo-ya?”
I gulp, “As long as they don’t
freak out or anything.”
“Wait,” Joon stops me, “Maybe it’s
better if they don’t see you yet. I will be harder for both parties when we
have to leave.”
“Where the hell do you think you’ll
be going with our mate?” Someone barks, again I find myself under a massive
amount of pressure. I hold Jin’s hand tighter.
“Control your anger!” Jin snaps
Namjoon gives his second in command
a stern look before turning around to face the four men, “We aren’t running
away, we are just waiting until your alpha comes back. I figure we should leave
since none of you seem to be able to control your emotions which means Insoo is
struggling to even breath with so much alpha pheromone in the air.”
“We will call him, just don’t
“Will you at least go inside or
something?” Yoongi suggests, “None of us are enjoying the hostile atmosphere
and at this point you are going to give her panic attack.”
The four men are silent for a
moment before one speaks for all of them, “As long as we have your word not to
“We came to you for our pup, we
aren’t leaving without him.” Joon tells them.
“Does that mean we can see her?
Since you won’t be leaving now?” One says hopefully.
“Insoo?” Jin wonders.
“I really want to peek,” I admit
meekly. My pack is watching me intently, this isn’t my normal personality, I’ve
always been strong and brave, not like this. I take a deep breath and take a
shaky step to the side to look around Jin. The four men are standing a few
yards away from the forest, watching with an intense stare. Three are really
tall, about Namjoon’s height or a little taller. The other is short but only by
a few inches, he’s absolutely beautiful, I mean they all are, but he is
strikingly so. I’m surprised to see faded pink hair and darkly outlined eyes
but they fit him so well, it makes him appear other worldly.
The tallest of the group is to his
right, this one has tan skin and bags under his eyes. He doesn’t make me think
of a wolf, maybe a cat or possibly a bird. Next to him is slightly shorter with
a scary looking face. I find myself actually taking a step back when our eyes lock.
He is the one from the forest, I can feel his familiar scent calling to me,
drawing me in again. His hair is a light blond, beautiful pale skin stands out
against the two tan men standing on either side of him. The other tan boy on
his right has soft features compared to the other but he looks just as
dangerous. Jin has to hold my hand to keep me form taking another step back.
“So beautiful,” The pink haired man
purrs taking a step closer.
“Hello little wolf,” The next one
coos. The other two just continue to stare. “What is your name?”
“Insoo,” I say softly.
He smiles, “So pretty, I’m Tao,
this is our hyung Baekhyun. These two are our youngest pack members, Sehun and
I gulp, “Hello.”
Their eyes turn a brilliant gold.
“Hyung,” The youngest, Sehun, says
with a cold voice.
“Sehun,” Baekhyun says with a
obviously forced calm voice. “We have to wait for Kris hyung to get home, you
should go call him.”
“But nothing,” The eldest says
With that the boy nods and turns to
leave, not before giving me one last glance. Even his stare seems so cold, I
wonder what I could have done to earn such a frightening look. “Sorry about
him, he’s still so young but you can understand that. This pup of yours, he’s
younger than our Sehun, he must be quiet a handful.”
Joon shakes his head, “He’s pretty
well behaved. We were pretty strict since that is how we were raised but he
never really caused any problems.”
“Um,” I open my mouth to ask a
question but quickly close it when all eyes switch to me.
“Go ahead little wolf,” Baekhyun
urges with a sweet smile that reminds me vaguely of Tae’s.
I take a deep breath to calm my
pounding heart, “You didn’t hurt him did you? You didn’t cut up my little pup,
“Your pup?” Jongin finally speaks,
his is like ice as he glares daggers as Jin.
“He is not really her pup,” Namjoon
clarifies, “She raised him since he was a child so she considers herself his
“How long have you all been
together?” Tao wonders.
“Over one hundred years for most of
us. Insoo has been with us for about 109, the three younger than her about 70
to 50. Jungkook was the one she took responsibility for.”
Baekhyun’s brow furrows, “109
years? How have we not found you?”
“We wandered frequently with a
larger pack for most of that time,” Jin explains simply.
“You said something about our
leader attacking her, when did that happen?”
“It was thirty years ago, he
tackled her and almost ripped open her throat.”
“Excuse me,” I call their attention
“Yes my little wolf?” Baekhyun gives
me a kind smile.
“Our pup, Jungkook, is he okay?
Could I see him?”
The three men share a look but
Baekhyun’s smile doesn’t falter, “If you want to come in, of course you can.
But because of certain rules I’m not
going to bring him out yet.”
“How is he?”
“He’s fine,” Jongin answers
“How about you?” Tao asks, “Are you
okay? Are you hungry or cold? Would you like to come in and warm up?”
I tuck myself against Jin’s side,
“I’m fine thank you. I’ll just stay out here with my pack.” I watch as most of
the warmth in his eyes fades to a obvious distaste for me actions. His hands
clench to fists at his side and his jaw is clenched.
“As you wish, we will be inside if
you need anything,” Baekhyun nods curtly and begins pulling the stubborn
younger boys inside with him. As soon as they are gone I drop to my knees,
ignoring the cold seeping into my jeans. Even though I already miss my mates
and yearn for them to come back out and just take me in their arms I’m happy I
can finally breath. Just them staring is enough to take the air out of my
“They looked pissed,” Taehyung
stresses. The younger wolf joins me on the ground, letting out an exhausted
breath of his own. “You have some strong mates, and that’s only four of them.”
“Of course they are pissed,” Jin
snaps as he also collapses. “Their mate is clinging to another wolf, jealousy
with wolves is a scary thing. I’m surprised the tan one didn’t rip my head
“How many are there?” Yoongi
wonders, not taking his eyes off the house.
“I’m not sure, their numbers have
never really been discussed since many don’t live to see them all but I know
there is about six or seven,” Namjoon answers.
“Do you think all of them are my
Namjoon nods, “I believe so. They
all seem to have the belief that they will have the same mate.”
“They probably smelled you on
Jungkook like the youngest one,” Hoseok figures.
“Are you okay Hyung?” Tae checks on
me, placing a warm hand on my back.
I sigh and run my fingers threw my
hair, “I feel so tired. It has been awhile since I had so many powerful alphas
around me, I’m not used to it anymore.”
“Well you better get used to it
because there is no way in hell we are getting out of here with both you and
Jungkook,” Hoseok gives me a sad smile.
“I know,” I return the smile
briefly before suddenly tackling the male.
“Fuck,” The older boy curses as we
roll in the snow, wrestling for dominace, “What are you doing?”
I can’t hold in my giggles as I’m
able to get on top and pin him down, “I’m enjoying my last bit of freedom with
you guys.” The others stare at our fight for a brief moment, letting my words
sink in before sharing a look. Soon they are joining in on our fight.
“Dog pile on Insoo hyung!” Jimin
declares. Suddenly I’m on bottom with six heavy wolves on top of me. There are
laughs and curses as everyone is scrambling to be king of the pile. I push,
punch, and kick my way through, doing my best to not seriously injure anyone,
but in a fight like this, anything can happen. With lady luck on my side I’m
able to concur my pack to reach the top.
“King of the hill!” I yell happily.
This is it. My last few hours of
freedom before I have to commit to seven mates and leave my crazy world and
past behind. I will no long be a alpha, or a hyung, or a boy. I will be a
pretty little omega like I was always meant to be, like I always wanted to be
when I was slaughtering villages. But now that I have the possibility in front
of me, I don’t know if I want it.
Summary: Fall in love, get married and have children. That’s the usual route in living happily ever after. You and Jongdae are already in love and happily married, but when it comes time to have a little one running around, you need some convincing.
When I’m sure they’ve gone, I go back to the shop. I don’t
want to go home, alone, and there’s a part of me hoping there’ll be a note from
Bucky, something to hold on to. There
isn’t. Steve’s playing with something on
the floor when I walk in, scrabbling under the counter, but she runs over to me
when I walk in. I shut all the blinds
and lock the door, leaving the light off, then curl up in a chair, and cry.
I cry for my own stupidity, for letting myself fall for
someone; for having nothing else in my life; for James, alone in the care home,
away from his only family. I cry for a long time, until it hurts to breath,
until my skin feels raw with the salt tears. Steve is sitting on the arm of the
chair next to me, I’m curled up, hugging my knees, glad that my joints are
aching and my clothes are digging in and I hurt. I want to hurt. It’s what I
Eventually, you have to stop crying. Your body stops for
you, even when your heart carries on. I was exhausted, too tired to be angry with
myself any more. Too tired to go home. So I did something I probably shouldn’t
have. I tucked Steve under one arm, and walked up the stairs into the flat.
Kicking off my jeans, I lay down in the bed, just for a little bit, and tried
to pretend Bucky was there with me.
Of course, I fell fast asleep and woke the next morning,
confused and sore. I blinked and looked
around, then leapt out of bed, ashamed.
In the bathroom I confronted the damage that the tears had wrought. My eyes were red and swollen, my cheeks
looked rough and sore. The rest of me looked as disastrous as always. I pulled
on yesterday’s jeans and splashed some water on my face, but deep down I didn’t
Downstairs, I fed Steve again but she didn’t come when I
called. Going out into the shop, I found her scrabbling under the counter again
but when I shook her food box, she scampered in as if she hadn’t eaten for a
I opened the shop every day that week, went through the
motions of selling and stocking and locking up. I smiled and made coffee and
played with children, and then at night I went home to my own flat and sat in
the dark alone. I visited James every day but the spark had gone out of both
our lives and I had little to tell him. I ate badly – either nothing, or too
much – and I didn’t sleep, and I cried.
On Friday, I got a text from Bucky. It was short, to the
point. It hurt. ‘Accountant coming Monday. That OK? B.’ I replied saying it was fine, but he didn’t
respond. And so on Monday, after a
lonely weekend, where I’d drunk alone, too much, and forgotten to eat, the
accountant came. I showed him the accounts notebook, the system that Bucky had
set up to record orders, the cashing up.
He nodded, took away receipts, muttered about valuations.
On Tuesday, another text. ‘Estate agent coming Thursday.
That OK?’ Estate agent. So Bucky meant to sell the shop? Sell James’ home, my
job. The place where he grew up, where he was happy. I cried more, and drank more. Yet again I
replied and yet again he didn’t respond.
I replayed every memory of the weeks we’d spent together,
and doubted every one. I’d been kidding
myself that Bucky was my friend. I told myself I had nothing to offer, nothing
anyone would want. I was a convenient shop assistant, a favour to his Granddad.
A joke. I was ‘nothing compared to’ his fiancée.
James was doing little better than I was. I made sure to
visit him, it was the one thing every day that mattered to me. He looked old and sad, and spent a lot of
time talking about the family that had gone, about the friends he’d lost. He
asked me every day if I’d heard from Bucky, but I didn’t tell him about the
On Thursday, I woke up when the alarm went off, but I
couldn’t move. What I’d thought was a cold coming on the day before had
worsened. A regime of poor food, excess alcohol, poor sleep, and depression,
had left me susceptible to every virus. I was icily cold then feverishly hot,
my body aching unbearably. My head
throbbed every time I coughed, which was often. I tried to stand but felt so weak
that my legs trembled and I fell back onto the bed, shaking. I felt sick and
sore. My last coherent thought before I
fell into a fevered sleep was Bucky. I
sent him a text – ‘cant open shop, agent, ill im sorry’ – and then slept.
The only time I left my bed on Thursday or Friday, was to
crawl to the bathroom to be sick. Each movement left me weaker, my head
throbbing, my brain in a fog. I drank a little water from the tap but couldn’t
have made it to the kitchen to get a glass. I slept, or lay half-conscious,
unable to easily separate reality from fever-delirium. At one point, late on Friday, I heard my name
being called, and a loud banging. The noise hurt my head, so I buried it under
the pillow where the sweat stuck hair to my face. I slept again.
By Saturday morning, I was seriously dehydrated, although I
couldn’t have said as much. My cough was rattling through me, leaving my chest
aching. I was retching but there was nothing there. I heard the banging again, and my name, but
was too weary to even move. I shut my eyes against the light seeping into the
room around my curtains. When I opened
them again, Bucky was standing there. Another hallucination.
He crouched down beside the bed, resting the back of his
fingers on my forehead. Against my overheated
skin, his hand felt as cold as metal. I tried to say his name, but my tongue
was too dry and stuck to the roof of my mouth.
I blinked, and the hallucination was gone, so I shut my eyes to sleep.
A moment later, I felt an arm snake around the back of my
neck, and a glass being held to my mouth, a trickle of water wetting my
lips. I opened my mouth to gulp the
water down, and opened my eyes to see Bucky again. He was in a suit, the tie
undone and askew, and was scowling. Too
soon, he took the glass away, and laid my head back down. He sat down on the
edge of the bed and I tried to stay awake to look at him. He twisted to look at
“I was worried. You didn’t answer my calls or texts. Nobody
answered the door yesterday. I had to lie to a locksmith and say I’d lost my
keys, to get in,” he said, watching me. This was a great hallucination. He put his hand out and brushed some of the
sweaty hair off my face. I fell asleep again as he stroked my face.
When I woke up, the hallucination had gone. I felt slightly
less wretched than before, although the difference was slight. I turned my head
a little to ease my stiff neck, and noticed a glass of water by the bed. I knew I hadn’t put it there, but all I could
think of was how nice it would be to drink.
I pulled myself upright, my arms trembling with the effort, and gulped
down the water. It was icy cold and felt delicious on my sore throat. I lay
back, half-upright, and looked around the room. It looked different. My head
hurt to think so it took a while, but I realised that it was… tidy.
Since Bucky had left, I’d taken to coming in from work,
throwing my clothes in the corner, and getting into bed with a bottle of
wine. The dirty clothes were all gone
now, and the collection of wine bottles and glasses too. I swung around in bed and stood on trembling
legs, walked slowly to the bedroom door. I had to hold onto the doorframe and
walls as I left my bedroom and turned into the living room. It was only a small
flat but it felt like a marathon to walk that far. There was a strange smell,
and a clattering noise from the kitchen.
I turned into the doorway to see a man’s back. He was standing by the
stove, stirring a pot, and humming to himself.
There was clean washing up stacked beside the sink and the washing
machine was churning.
He turned and saw me. It was Bucky, of course. I was leaning on the doorway, worn out with
illness, tiredness and confusion.
“Hey, you should not be out of bed,” he said, stepping
across the kitchen to put an arm around me.
“Come on, sit down for a second.” He pulled out a chair and I slumped
into it. He crouched at my feet, looking
up at me, his eyes an intense blue. “Give
me a minute, I’ll change your bed.”
Before I could speak, he’d stood and walked past me. I heard cupboards opening and closing –
luckily my flat was small enough there weren’t many places to look – then silence. A few minutes later, Bucky returned. I stood, holding onto the chair. Other than his name, I still hadn’t spoken. I
started walking, still unsure exactly what was going on, why he was here, but I
was too weak still and my knees gave way.
Before I could hit the ground, Bucky’s arms were around me.
He lifted me up easily and carried me through to my room. Putting me down on
the bed, I felt the cool crispness of fresh linen, such a change from the hot,
tangled, sweaty sheets I’d been lying on.
My eyes closed as the cold pillow comforted my head, but as I drifted
off to sleep, I was sure I felt someone kiss my cheek.
When I next woke, the light coming through the curtains was
softer, as if evening was coming. I’d slept more peacefully, the fever breaking
at last although I still felt limp and exhausted. There was another glass of water by the bed,
and again I eagerly gulped it down. The
flat was silent and I was starting to doubt my own mind. Carefully I got up again and walked out, on
legs as weak as a newborn lamb’s.
In the living room, Bucky was sitting on the couch, legs up
on the coffee table. He was reading a
book and rubbing something on his lap. For a moment, I flushed brightly,
wondering what he was doing, before I realised he had a cat on his lap.
Steve. Bucky and Steve were in my
apartment. I felt lost.
I coughed, harshly, and Bucky turned around, the movement
disturbing Steve who stretched and meowed.
“Hey sleepyhead! Any better? Can I get some medicine into
you? You’ve fallen asleep every time I’ve tried.” He stood, lifting Steve onto
the couch, and walked into the kitchen as he spoke. I followed, sitting down in
the chair again, chilled and tired.
“What are you doing here Bucky?” I asked, my voice raspy and
sore. He put some paracetamol and
another glass of water beside me, nodding at me to take them, then pulled out
another chair, sitting near enough that our knees were almost touching.
“I told you. I couldn’t get hold of you and you’d said you
were ill. I was worried. So I came to look after you.”
I couldn’t quite process it. He gave me bits of information as
he ran me a bath, found me clean pyjamas. He sat outside the bathroom door
talking as I lay in the bath, making sure I didn’t fall asleep and drown. He continued
talking as I sat back in bed, exhausted but feeling so much better for being
clean, and gave me home-made soup to eat.
It was as if he hadn’t been able to speak for the last two weeks, and
needed to let everything out.
“When you didn’t reply to my note, I thought I’d blown it,
our friendship, so I tried to keep it business-like, but, I don’t know, things
felt different back at home,” he said, but before he could continue, I broke
“What note? You didn’t leave one.”
“Before we left. I came down out of the flat with Maria and
you were gone, so I left you a note.” I turned in the bath, staring at the
doorway, as if I could see him through the wood.
“There was no note. I went back to the shop after you’d
gone. There was no note.” I climbed gingerly out of the bath, the heat having
sapped the last of my strength, and half-heartedly dried myself, before pulling
pyjamas onto damp skin. As I started to
clean my teeth, Bucky spoke again.
“I left a note, on the counter. Next to Steve.” A pause. “Saying
I was sorry. Asking you to call me if you’d still be my friend. Telling you I needed
I pulled the bathroom door open, and he looked up. He was
sitting on a dining chair he’d pulled up outside the door, elbows resting on
knees, head resting on hands. Now that
water and rest had cleared my head a little, I could really see him. He looked terrible. His skin was grey, eyes
red-lined, and the frown between his eyes was deep again.
“I never got that,” I said, and as if on cue, Steve rounded
the corner, ignoring us both as he walked into my room and jumped on the
bed. I remembered the way Steve had
scratched at something under the counter in the shop when I’d been there. “Steve. She must have chased it.”
Bucky let out a groan of exasperation as I climbed into bed,
too tired and emotional to give a thought to Bucky being in my bedroom. He nudged the cat with his hand and she
glared at him, before moving over and climbing onto my lap. I felt teary, in
that post-illness way, when every emotion seems too raw, your nerves exposed. I
kept my head down and stroked Steve, watching as one or two tears darkened her
I felt the bed move and looked up to see Bucky sitting down.
He looked at me, then lay back, on top of the duvet, resting his head back
against the headboard. He looked exhausted, drained.
“Out of interest, if you’d got the note…?”
“I’d have replied. I’d have called.”
His eyes closed, briefly, and his face seemed to relax. Silence fell, but it wasn’t
uncomfortable. Steve purred on my lap,
and my skin tingled from the hot bath. I was tired but had slept too much to
sleep again just yet.
“Buck, why did you come all this way?”
He turned his head on the pillow to look at me. “I told you.
I was worried. About you, and about Granddad. You were ill. The nurses say he’s
I nodded. “He has. I’m
sorry. To be honest, you look like you
He smiled, briefly. “I’m
fine. Work stress is all.” I didn’t believe him.
“If you need a friend, I’m here to listen. And thank you.
For coming here, for taking care of me.”
For a moment, just a moment, I thought he was going to talk.
He needed to, it felt as if there was a flood of words dammed up inside him,
but before he could sleep, I was wracked with another bout of coughing, sending
Steve off my lap and leaving me doubled over and struggling to breathe. By the time I was calm again, Bucky had
“You need to sleep. You’re not well.” He leant over and
kissed my forehead, leaving my skin tingling. Before I could speak again, he’d
left the room, and I heard the flat door shut.
I just want to say, because I know what it’s like to be young and scared, that back then when I was fifteen in 2009 (gross) we didn’t have the half the amount of pressure put on us as young people do now.
there was no instagram and beauty people on youtube to influence us and we didn’t have as advanced smartphones to edit our faces we just had crappy webcams and it was all we knew.
i admire young people nowadays so much because pressure and perfection seems to be absolutely everywhere with social media being such a huge factor now so i just want to say if you’re young and struggling to feel like you fit in or wishing you could look like the guys and girls on YouTube do: trust me, you look beautiful and the feelings you have right now will go away one day, i promise you that.
no amount of filters on kylie jenner’s instagram photos or studio lights on beauty gurus on youtube and photoshop on stretch marks and cellulite on models on clothing websites will ever compare to who you are and you are wonderful and beautiful and looking at these people who make you feel neither of those things really isn’t worth it if it makes you feel bad.
self acceptance is so important and not easy and heck I struggle still myself because comparing yourself to others is addictive but remember you are unique and nobody can ever take that away from you so never let them try.
baekhyun seems so much more confident with his body compared to the first time he stripped. especially while dancing he always looked down on his body or tried to cover it up in someway and yesterday and especially today he just opened his shirt and stood there so confidently and comfortable. yesterday he only lifted it and put it down again but today he actually fully opened it and it makes me so happy to see him be this confident with his body. i hope he wont lose his confidence and will feel happy about himself no matter what
Watching yesterday’s video of Jack and Wiishu inspired me to write this fluffy little ‘mini-fic’ - if you can even call it that xD I apologise in advance if I missed any typos, and I may or may not have broken the 4th wall at one point… :p this is my first time posting any kind of fic so… please be gentle with me :3 Hope you enjoy the cuteness ^-^
Could you elaborate on Jon being the son Stannis always wanted? I found it a curious statement :P
Everyone wants Jon to be their son. That may well be the most frequently recurring motif in his storyline. Benjen makes it explicit in Jon’s very first POV chapter…
“If you knew what the oath would cost you, you might be less eager to pay the price, son.”
Jon felt anger rise inside him. “I’m not your son!”
Benjen Stark stood up. “More’s the pity.“
…Jeor Mormont all but makes it explicit later in that first book…
"This is Valyrian steel, my lord,” he said wonderingly. His father had let him handle Ice often enough; he knew the look, the feel.
“It is,” the Old Bear told him. “It was my father’s sword, and his father’s before him. The Mormonts have carried it for five centuries. I wielded it in my day and passed it on to my son when I took the black.”
He is giving me his son’s sword.
…and Donal Noye, Maester Aemon, Qhorin Halfhand, Mance Rayder, and Tormund Giantsbane all have their own versions of this. They’re mentors, of course, probing and challenging and teaching (yes, even Tormund) but beyond that, there’s always a definite fatherly and generational tone to the dynamic; they’re all trying to pass something on to Jon before it’s too late.All the Halfhand’s lessons lead to him trusting Jon to kill him and carry on the mission. Mance clearly sees himself in Jon (and Jon deliberately leans into that) and Jon in a sense takes on his mission of bringing the wildlings south of the Wall. Tormund…well, Tormund likes Jon, and wants him to be happy, so much so that he doesn’t even pretend to be angry about Jon flying back to his fellow crows.
But none of these relationships are quite what Jon needs and is looking for. Again, Jon has to kill Qhorin, and turn on his wildling Dads, etc. Morever, Jon’s always comparing them all to Ned, who failed to pass on something very, very important to Jon before he died. It’s an open wound, and its influence is visible in how Jon feels about every other father figure he encounters.
So: does Stannis count among this number of almost-fathers, the not-quite-Neds? You tell me.
“Qhorin Halfhand commanded me to join the wildlings. He knew they would make me
kill him to prove myself, and told me to do whatever they asked of me. The woman was named
Ygritte. I broke my vows with her, but I swear to you on my father’s name that I never turned my
“I believe you,” the king said.
That startled him. “Why?”
Stannis snorted. “I know Janos Slynt. And I knew Ned Stark as well. Your father was no friend
of mine, but only a fool would doubt his honor or his honesty. You have his look.”
“Why do you think I abandoned Dragonstone and sailed to the Wall,
“I am no lord, sire. You came because we sent for you, I hope. Though I could not say why you
took so long about it.”
Surprisingly, Stannis smiled at that. “You’re bold enough to be a Stark.”
“His Grace is growing fond of you.”
“I can tell. He only threatened to behead me twice.”
He glanced at the letter again. I will save your sister if I can. A surprisingly tender sentiment from Stannis…
Jon glanced back at Stannis. For an instant their eyes met. Then the king nodded and went back inside his tower.
A/N: this was requested just like the next few of my stories will be bc you guys are amazing and patient and give me ideas so thank you for enjoying my writing love y’alL
Today I decided to accompany my boyfriend Jack to his friend Mikey’s flat to watch them film a video. I was nervous as Jack refused to tell me what they were shooting. “You’re not gonna like it,” he told me in a cautious tone. I rolled my eyes, shook my head, and chuckled. “At this point I think I’ve seen everything,” I replied. But, alas, I was wrong. When we arrived, Mikey greeted us with his boisterous attitude and said, “Are you ready to Smash or Pass, Randy!?” My face went into full bitch mode. I slowly turned to face, my eyebrow cocked. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I asked Jack who looked sheepish all of a sudden.
“It was Mikey’s idea,” he murmured.
“Because that makes it any better,” I scoffed. We walked into the apartment and I was livid. Jack knew my feelings for this atrocity that was this new “challenge”. What was next? They guess the age of under aged girls? Alex was there, too. “One more person to be disappointed in,” I thought. I pulled up a chair behind the equipment. I wanted a front row view of this shit show. As they went through the girls that weren’t jokes, I felt more and more uncomfortable. Alexis Ren, Jennifer Lopez, Alissa Violet, Amanda Cerny. I had nothing on them. They were all models with amazing jaw lines and impossibly clear skin and perfect teeth.
I decided to walk out towards the end because I could not handle hearing it anymore. I’m not usually an insecure person but it was starting to get to me. These were potential people Jack could work with, and he’s talking about fucking them? I don’t think Jack would cheat, but I can never truly know. I sat in Mikey’s office room scrolling through Instagram until I saw more women who were considerably more beautiful than me, then stopped. I sat there in silence, pouting. I felt extremely uncomfortable and insecure and embarrassed. How was I supposed to match up to these girls?
Jack came in and I decided to ignore him. My parents taught me if I had nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all. He stared at me for a minute as I made eye contact with the wall. “Are you going to say anything?” he asked. I replied with my silence. “Okay, that’s that then. I just wanted to apologize.”
“… For what?” I asked in a monotone voice.
“You know what,” he replied in a sharp tone. “I know you hated that.”
“I didn’t just hate it,” I told him. “It made me feel like shit. I see all your past girlfriends and these girls who clearly get you all hot and bothered and I can’t help but compare myself.”
“But you shouldn’t have to,” he retorted. “You shouldn’t compare yourself because they aren’t you. As cheesy as it sounds it’s true. I love you because you’re not like that. You’re different from them.” I looked at him and chuckled. “That is cheesy. And dumb.”
“Well someone is feeling better!” he exclaimed. “Of course it was at my expense, but, you know. That’s fine.” I got up from the chair I was once sulking in and got up to hug him and gave him a kiss. “Never degrade women around me again or I’ll break your face,” I told him sweetly.
Down the Voltage Rabbit Hole is an ongoing story about our MC, who could easily be anyone in voltage fandom. She woke up in hospital bed only to discover that she’d somehow been transported Voltage universe.
This story is ongoing, so if you missed a part, or are new to the story, please use the links below to catch yourself up:
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 - Part 26 - Part 27 - Part 28 - Part 29 - Part 30
Part 31 - Popped
I showed up at Revance’s doorstep looking like something that had crawled out of the sewer. Without an umbrella, the rain had soaked to the bone, and my hair was plastered to my forehead while being simultaneously frizzy thanks to the residual humidity.
My eyes were still puffy and swollen, and it’s safe to say that I was still in a fragile emotional state as I rang their intercom.