look at how im holding my pen

Buzzfeed Unsolved Starters

“I don’t think you can exercise spiders.”
“Oh see, NOW you’re acting like a detective, and not a jackass!”
“‘Dan’ just sounds like your neighbor who wants to borrow your lawn mower.”
“Here, I drew a picture of you with 3 butt cheeks. This drawing now exists in the world.”
“Since when has a skull ever actually shrunk in history?”
“This thought you’re having right now is not very spontaneous.”
“Too much fire here. What do I look like, a fireman?”
 "Cool guy. Coolest guy in history. Nice sunglasses. Wow! Bourbon’s great.“   
“Is it very European to burst into flames?”
“Are basketball players aliens?”
“How do we know his suit is black if it’s in a black in white photo? Maybe it was really navy blue.”
“I’m good, I’ll just sign up for karate.”
“Stop holding the pen like that, you look like an asshole.”
“I went to 8 churches today to get some holy water and i couldn’t get any, so now im going into a demon hole with no holy water!!”
“I’m 99.9% sure he’s never cut anyone’s head of in is time as a dentist.”
“Why you gotta go jumping off planes?”
“I don’t need to set my mom on fire for freedom!”
 "This piece of evidence was found on a Wikipedia page, therefore making it complete Horseshit.“
 "He’s a big dumb-dumb floating in the sky with his stupid trench coat blowing in the wind.”
 "There may very well be a hot dog vendor in Chicago who is a Bigfoot.“

out of character. 

gordon, referring to Obviously Busted coffee maker: who broke it? im not mad. i just wanna know
coop: i did. i broke it
gordon: no you didn’t. phillip?
phillip jeffries: don’t look at me. look at albert
albert: what ?? i didn’t break it
phillip jeffries: huh !! that’s weird. how’d you even know it was broken ??
albert: because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken
phillip jeffries: suspicious
albert: no, it’s not
chet desmond: if it matters – probably not – but tammy was the last one to use it
tammy: liar !! i don’t even drink that crap !!
chet desmond: really ?? then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier ??
tammy: i use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. everyone knows that !!
coop: ok, let’s not fight. i broke it. let me pay for it, gordon.
gordon: no! who broke it !?
albert, aside to gordon: gordon … diane’s been awfully quiet
diane: OH, REALLY !?
gordon, in video confessional while everyone fights in the background: i broke it. i burned my hand so i punched it.

Hamilton LIVE Details! (1/20/16 Matinee)

Act One: Part 2/2

Act One Recap: [Part 1] [Part 2]
Act Two Recap: [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

Right Hand Man

  • Okay so before Washington comes out or the song starts or anything, there is a redcoat who is marching around the turntable, tapping an invisible snare drum to the beat of the snare and a flute rendition of seabury’s part of “farmer refuted” that the orchestra is playing 
  • as another ensemble member walks by, and the readcoat snaps her neck and the music drops. Cue “ British Admiral Howe’s got troops on the waterrrrr
  • hamilton and hamilsquad are center stage doing ‘rise up’
  • burr introduces washington to the entire crowd and he is SO AMPED 
  • washington has a sword when he first comes out, and he’s with a whole group of dancers and ensemble members 
  • ((also it was Sydney Harcourt on for Washington and he was AMAZING.. I hadn’t realized it wasnt chris until i heard his voice right here and was like ‘woah his voice is way deeper than chris’))
  • he does his solo bit in center stage with a spotlight on him, the ensemble frozen (if im remembering correctly) around him
  • as the song progresses, more and more ensemble members ‘die’ and their numbers diminish 
  • hamilsquad is walking across the stage toward the front stage right oak is right behind ham doing these big aggressive “BRAH!”s and its just way cool 
  • then ham’s like LIKE STEAL THE CANONS and shit get’s REAL
  • at every “BOOM!” the entire ensemble reacts
  • “ARE THESE THE MEN WITH WHICH I AM TO DEFEND AMERICA?!” is the first time you really see washington lose his cool on stage. he quickly collects himself for “we ride at midnight”
  • washington sits down at a desk and is reading through some pamphlets and writing some stuff
  • enter arron burr, who is looking at the audience with his hand on his forehead in a salute as asks for permission to speak and he introduces himself 
  • wash literally does not look up at burr one time, he just kinda continues about his business as burr is talking. he only looks up at burr after he says “i admire how you keep firing on the british from a distance”
  • and then of course hamilton comes in, hand on forehead in salute as well and at “we keep meeting” burr flashes hamilton a super fake smile and then continues right along with washington
  • washington is like “burr!” and burr perks up a bit and turns to him and then washington is like “close the door on your way out” and the whole crowd was like OOOOOOOHH
  • at “hamitlon, how come no one wan get you on their staff?” ham gives the most indigent sounding “SIR!” and then again at “now why are you upset? “im not…” and he sounds like a kid who’s trying to hold back tears and try not to sound upset. and as he says it, he cant even look at washington, he just looks down at his feet and shuffles them a bit
  • at “i am not throwing away my shot” he very reluctantly takes a pen from washington and takes his desk and starts writing 
  • he walks up stage with a parchment and pen in hand as he does “ill write to congress and tell ‘em we need supplies”
  • sorry this was so long but i LOVE this song 

A Winter’s Ball

  • “watch this obnoxious, arrogent, loud-mouth bother” made the crowd crack up
  • at “we’re reliable with the LADIES!” the crowd died and all of hamilsquad in the back join in for burr’s “LADIES!”
  • burr is like front stage and hamilsquad is behind them and there are some ensemble members dancing around
  • at “martha washington named her feral tomcat after him” alex runs up behind burr and like peeks over his shoulder and says to the crowd “thats true!” all excitedly its so cute
  • at the “heys” they’re on the turntable like shuffling from stage right to stage left and hamilsquad is like winking and making finger guns at the crowd its great 
  • also on hamilton’s first “hey” the crowd DIED


  • enter schyler sisters, angelica is center stage with ham and he kisses her hand and they go off to the staircase together
  • when she introduces eliza to hamilton she says “my sister!” in the most giddy, proud sounding voice ever it was so cute they are so cute i just UGH
  • eliza at center stage with everyone around her. the part from the video was p much the same  
  • at “one week later” the sisters go to the front of the stage all together and eliza is between peggy and angelica
  • “im just saying if you really loved me you would share him” eliza shoves a letter into angelica’s chest and yells “HA!” 
  • at the back of the turntable is hamilton facing phillip (played by andrew for my performance!) like very gently and earnestly talking to him with his hands behind his back
  • they shake hands and hamilton smiles the most genuine, excited smile and runs over to eliza. they share a kiss. he goes to angelica and embraces her, he hugs peggy and then turns to the audience and DOES THE STANKY LEG TO CELEBRATE. 
  • then he turns around and sees phillip offering him a drink and he takes it and shares a drink with his soon to be father in law
  • he is standing center-stage looking right into eliza’s eyes at “i dont have a dollar to my name”
  • at “angelica tried to take a bite of me” eliza like turns around and looks for angelica so ham spins her around and is like “no stress, my lovefor you”
  • i think lafayette and angelica walk together, then laurens and peggy, and then MULLIGAN COMES OUT AND HE’S THE FUCKING FLOWER GIRL AND EVERYONE DIED
  • they walk down the aisle together and share a kiss at front stage and its so!!! cute!!!


  • eliza and hamilton are front stage left and angelica and peggy are center stage, with ensemble members all around them. they all raise a glass 
  • the sisters are like always kissing each other on the cheek and hugging and being so lovely in general
  • TO THE REVOLUTION hamilsquad goes IN they are so hyped
  • ALSO FOR THOSE OF YOU WONDERING HOW THEY DO THIS PART ON STAGE: renee stops singing from the first “rewind” until the last “I remember that night i just might” and a track plays as the entire ensemble goes through abbreviated dances from “helpless” and “sisters” in fucking reverse. like, lifts in reverse. it’s amazing i couldnt contain myself 
  • ham and angelica are center stage at “you strike me as a women who has never been satisfied” looking right at each other and they keep getting closer to each other and at “where’s your family from” their like practically touching noses theyre so close to each other and its this very intimate, tender moment and then “unimportant” he sorta pulls away a bit but then pulls himself back in close again 
  • at the 3 fundamental truths im pretty sure everyone else on stage freezes whenever she is speaking 
  • “but when i fantasize at night it’s alexander’s eyes” she like looks longingly at him as he stands frozen with eliza and looks so sad and the whole audience goes like dead quiet and it was reALLY SAD
  • then back to the wedding and she just looks so sad and i cry 

Story of Tonight (Reprise)

  • they are. SO DRUNK.
  • like stumbling across the stage and grabbing on to each other for support and it’s so great omg 
  • they get to stage left and the guys are singing and its wonderful
  • “there’s hope for OUR ASS, AFTER ALL!” laurens like points at himself and looks around at the guys and they all laugh and join in singing
  • “to the newly not poor of us!” mulligan like busts a move center stage. he’s like thrusting and the rest of the guys join in itS HYSTERICAL
  • burr comes in and hamilsquad is like “god not this guy” and tell him to spit and burr is like “nah” and lafayette’s like “you are the worst, burr”
  • “i wish i had your command instead of manning george’s journal” “no you dont” “YES, I DO” hamilton like stands on his toes and gives the most annoyed look its great
  • laurens keeps getting closer and closer to burr at “well i head you got a special someone” and keeps getting closer until he’s like almost up his nose at “what are you trying to hide, burr?” 
  • burr looks so uncomfortable and he’s like trying to back away but laurens just keeps drawing in closer with the biggest dopey grin on his face and then finally ham’s like “gooDBYE GUYS”
  • “she’s married” the little old lady behind me goes “mmm and her friend goes “oooh” and then “she’s married to a british officer” “oh, shit…” the crowd DIES
  • “congrats again alexander, smile more” he just sounds so genuine like “pls alex slow down and take a moment to just be happy and satisfied with what you have. you are so blessed to be where you are right now just take a minute to let it all in and smile about it” and hamilton’s like “i will never understand you” and i SOB BECAUSE HE NEVER WILL UNDERSTAND. HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND THAT IT’S OKAY TO STOP MOVING FORWARD EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE AND JUST TAKE IN WHAT’S AROUND YOU AND SMILE ABOUT IT INSTEAD OF BEING LIKE ‘GOGOGOGOGOGO’ ALL THE TIME AND BECAUSE HE NEVER TAKES A MOMENT TO SEE WHAT HE HAS HE MISSES OUT ON SO MUCH OF THE JOY IN LIFE AND I CRY FOR THE 13TH TIME THAT DAY
  • i’ll see you on the other side of the war i cry again and the lady behind me goes “oh…” gently and sadly to herself because on the other side of the war theYE ENEMIES I CRY

Wait for It

  • it’s just leslie center stage, standing totally still. the entire ensemble is watching him from the perimeter of the stage. all eyes on him. it was amazing
  • it was the most surreal moment tbh because the music is so light and delicate comparitively speaking to the songs that preceed it and so the whole crowd is like hanging on his every word
  • plus his voice is so soft and contained at the beginning of the song and we’re all hanging on his every word, everyone watching him and it’s literally as though the entire world is watching him to see what he’s gonna do
  • ensemble is around him to join in and harmonize for the second verse, but like all attention is still on him
  • “but if there’s a reason im still alive when everyone who loves me has died, im willing to wait for it” the lady behind me gasped 
  • the pause before the big WAIT FOR IT i like grasped my armrests and at “I AM INIMITABLE, I AM AN ORIGINAL” i like fistpumped
  • he looks right up at the upper mezzanine at that line and he legit looks right at me and i almost DIED
  • “what is it like in his shoes?” 
  • when everything comes down for “hamilton doesnt hesitate, he exhibits no restraint” and the delicate piano is playing the whole crowd is back hanging on his every word (the woman behind me sniffled at this point)
  • i cried
  • the crowd clapped and cheered for so long

Stay Alive

  • hamilton is sitting center stage left at a desk, writing with his glasses on 
  • eliza is on a balcony singing “stay aliiiiive”
  • and a redcoat is front stage right with a musket. a women is dancing behind him as he lays aim at hamilton, and she portrays a slow-moving bullet which passes right over him 
  • washington like storms in and is pacing around and ham is standing still
  • “i ask for french aid” lafayette is like all worried
  • “i stay at work with hamilton” he like walks over to hamilton and its super gay and just. listen. they are so gay at this point i would seriously hope no one is trying to deny it
  • washington is holding a pamphlet out for hamilton to sign at “and everyday ‘sir entrust me with a command’ and at “No.” sydeny goes to roll up the paper and almost drops it so he had to quickly recover 
  • “instead of me, he promotes *charles lee*” and lee like basically skips out and stands at front stage right for ‘im a general, wheeeEEEEE!!!” and the crowd is hysterical
  • washington is up on the stage right balcony and lee is at center stage at battle of monmouth and washington is literally like “what the actual fuck are you doing?!” he looks so annoyed omg
  • there is a bigger pause between “have lafayette take the lead” and hamilton’s “yes, sir!” in the show and you can actually see his shoulders drop a bit before he stands at attention and agrees to washington’s request
  • lee goes up to the center balcony and starts ranting and a spotlight is on him and he gets so annoyed and leans over the balcony railing and basically spits at washington at “go back to planting tobacco at mt. vernon”
  • sydney delivered his next line with an emphasis on “history” rather than the way jackson emphasizes “wrong” and i just really liked that subtlety. i feel like sydney plays a different washington and i quite love it tbh
  • ((like: “dont do a thing. history will prove him wrong” rather than: “dont do a thing, history will prove him wrong”)) i just thought it was really nice 
  • laurens like embraces hamilton at the end of the song it’s so wonderful

Ten Duel Commandments 

Meet Me Inside

  • lee throws his pistol aside and falls and is clutching his side and burr is like “yes he yields????” like almost as if to say ‘what the actual fuck did you think??”
  • laurens is like so HYPED UP and he goes over to hamilton and is like jumping up and down like a boxer who’s just won a match and is ready for more 
  • “im satisfied” he delivers so strongly and aggressively i LOVE
  • lee is like staggering around stage 
  • washington is so angry
  • at “meet me inside” the lady behind me went “oooooh” 
  • from this point on it was different from how i had the scene storyboarded out in my head but it was so much better omg 
  • hamilton and washington are standing front stage left and both looking out at the audience, not at each other. washington is on hamilton’s left (audience’s right)
  • “son-”  “dont call me son” hamilton looks at the ground in annoyance, washington is still looking at the audience
  • hamilton looks back up at the audience”this war is hard enough without infighting” 
  • “lee called you out, we called his bluff…” he still isnt looking at washington. 
  • “you solve nothing!” washington turns to look at hamilton “you aggrevate our allies to the south!” hamilton still cant look at him, he’s still looking at the audience when he says “youre absolutely right, john shoulda shot him in the mouth, that would’ve shut him up”
  • wash walks around behind and paces until he is standing on hamilton’s right (audience’s left) 
  • “son-” “im notcha son” ham is still standing upright and looking out at the crowd, but you can see in his body language he’s getting more and more angry with each second. like closer to exploding. his shoulders draw in ever so slightly and his fists clench a bit
  • he interrupts washington and yells to the crowd “charles lee! thomas conway! these men take your name, and they rake it through the mud”
  • “my name’s been through a lot, i can take it” - sydney’s emphasis is different here than jackson’s version. i loVE IT
  • “well i dont have you name, i dont have your titles” - the live version of this is so much better than the original cast recording tbh because you can hear how much it’s killing hamilton. he’s like almost pleading with him and his voice breaks at one point and it sounds like he’s almost about to cry
  • at “but if you–” “no!” sydney like drags out the “no!” so it sounds more like he’s saying “no, are you kidding me?!” rather than how jackson plays it very short and to the point
  • he finally snaps out of standing still and facing forward at “i am more than willing to die!” by turning to look at washington, who is still pacing around him. washington stop and pleads with him, and for the first time in this song since “meet me inside” they are looking at one another as they speak
  • as washington keeps talking alex is getting more and more tense until finally “CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME!” he legit gets right up in washington’s face and presses his forehead again his and you can see him holding back a punch. like, his fists are clenched behind him and he’s standing on his toes to seem taller and breathing so heavily that even from the rear mezz i could see his chest rising and falling 
  • gently and calmly washington goes “go home, alexander” while alex is still right up in his face. and alex falls back onto his feet from standing on his toes and just looks at him “that’s an order from your commander” alex unclenches his fists and drops his shoulders, looks up at him and whispers “sir…” and sydeny bellows out a great big “GO. HOME!” and alex looks so sad and im just like :’((((
  • it was all just so intense and so well played and i love it so much holy shit (i just really like when characters who have been bottling up their temper let loose and have that one thing that pushes them over the edge and they explode and its intense i just love it)

That Would Be Enough

  • eliza walks up and is holding her belly and looking tenderly at it as she speaks to hamilton
  • they go over to a bench and hamilton sits down and eliza is walking around him and hamiton’s crying and im soBBING
  • “will you relish being a poor man’s wife, unable to provide for your life?” his voice breaks twice during this and it kILLS ME
  • eliza sits next to him and he kisses her hand. he’s still crying and she’s like holding his shoulder and arm and trying to comfort him and it is so cUTE GOD
  • also phillipa’s VOICE LIKE GODDAMN

Guns and Ships

  • burr is up on the stage left balcony 
  • and at LAFAYETTE he jumps up onto a high table and is rapping up there and i was like ‘WHOOOO!!!” and it’s amazing omg   
  • at “guns, and ships” he jumps down on the “guns” and washington walks on stage 
  • the lady behind me went “whoa!”
  • “we can end this war at yorktown” he’s looking right as washington, and the rest of his part is delivered like “c’mon dude, get real. you know this is what we need”
  • when washington goes “i know” sydney plays it like super defeated sounding, like “i know, i know…”
  • washington writes his letter to hamilton and all the ensemble members are lined up from the bottom of the stairs up the stairs and around the balcony, and during washington’s solo part they pass it from member to member until it reaches hamilton 

History Has Its Eyes On You

  • he’s talking right to hamilton and ham like tears up 
  • its really intense
  • ham and washington are facing each other and saluting each other on the final ‘history has it’s eyes on you/me’ and its v heartfelt


  • i know that we have the video im gonna try to make this super brief so but HOLY SHIT IT IS SO FUCKING AMAZING 
  • the song opens and lafayetter and ham are standing front stage right talking to each other 
  • “immigrants, we get the job done” they high-five and the lady behind me goes “yeah, they do!” and people cheer and it’S SO GREAT OMG
  • “when you knock me down i get the FUCK back up again!” the crowd was like YAAASS
  • after the music drops the crowd starts cheering so loudly and then they continue with “after a week of fighting”
  • “wonder if this really means freedom” “not yet” the lady behind me went “ohhh”
  • the whole staging of everything was so good. it was my favorite number and the choreo and staging is just so fucking GOOD. 
  • B Y E 

What Comes Next

  • he comes out, wearing fewer robes and instead of walking out from the rear stage entrance and just looks more annoyed in general and the crowd is hysterical again even though he hasnt even said anything yet
  • his spotlight is red and on “im so blue” he stomps his foot and the spotlight changes to blue and everyone flipped out it was so amazing
  • the lady behind me with the infectious laugh was eating it up and was hysterical thoughout the whole song and it just made the whole thing even funnier for me it was amazing
  • after “you’re on your owwwwwnnnnnn” on the very last note he like throws his arms up in the air like “what the fuck i dont even care anymore” and i DIED

Dear Theodosia

  • its just two chairs in the front left and right of the stage and burr goes over and stands behind his chair and starts singing out toward the audience and itS SO BEAUTIFUL
  • hamilton comes out for his part and as he starts singing burr sits down in his chair, hamilton standing behind his
  • hamilton is SO PROUD
  • like he looks like he’s about to cry and his voice breaks a few times and he’s just so happy and im soBBING
  • at “ill do whatever it takes” “i’ll make a million mistakes” i LOST MY SHIT and started actually sobbing and the lady next to me just looked at me with the most considerate eyes and i was like “oh dont mind me im just having a moment here”
  • at the end of the song, hamilton sits in his chair and is looking out at the audience (his son) with the happiest most gentle face you could possibly imagine 

Lauren’s Death Scene 

  • okay so dear theo immediately transitions into laurens coming and standing on the far right side of the stage and sings “i may not live to see our glory” and im hystericAL
  • burr leaves and hamilton is sitting looking out at the crowd with that same pride-glowing expression and eliza walks in behind him a letter in hand and is like “alexander you have a letter”
  • he’s like “its from john laurens, ill read it later”
  • she’s like “no, its from his father”
  • and he goes “his father? will you read it to me?” and im like NO
  • and she reads it and says how laurens was killed in a small fight by retreating british troops. the war was already over. john dreamed to emancipate and recruit 3000 men for the first black military regiment. his dream of freedom for these men will never be realized and hamilton like throws his face into his hands and looks so sad and im like NO.
  • and laurens goes “tomorrow they’ll be more of usssss” and it’s so sad and beautiful and I LOSE MY SHIT
  • she goes “alexander, are you alright?” and he just goes “i have so much work to do” and i SOB


  • hamilton immediately goes into ‘non-stop’ and im like NO PLEASE JUST STOP AND GRIEVE FOR LIKE 5 SECONDS 
  • “burr worked next door” the crowd laughs
  • there is a table and one chair and across from them is the jury and theyre all spinning on the turntable
  • hamilton starts “gentlemen of the jury, im curious” and burr is standing sort of next to him and behind him and levi weeks is next to burr
  • burr grabs his shoulders and is like “hamilton sit down” and he sits and burr is like “that’s all you had to say” like “god, hamilton! just shut up for like five seconds!” and then “okay, ONE MORE THING!” and burr is like wtf bruh
  • hamilton stands on the table center stage and starts his solo bit and at “i practiced the law i practically perfected it and he kicks his leg in front of his other leg and it was so funny to me 
  • ‘i was chosen for the constitutional convention!” the whole ensemble is clapping quickly along with the beat of the song and hamilton jumps off the table he was on and is so giddy and child-like and it is SO CUTE
  • “who the eff is this?” the guy throws his arms up
  • he talks to burr and burr is like “wtf its the middle of the night pls go” and keeps looking back at his door as if to sorta cue hamilton to leave but ham’s like ‘NOPE I HAVE STUFF TO SAY’ 
  • at “the new US constitution” he like looks to the audience and gestures as if presenting a billboards kinda like how he ‘spells out his name’ in ‘my shot’ its v cute
  • angelica walks him around the turntable as she’s leaving for london
  • burr goes to front center stage and there are 3 chairs making a triangle behind him. the front 2 are empty and the back one is facing backwards and ham is sitting in it. spotlights on each of them and on burr
  • “in the end, the wrote 85 essays in the span of 6 months” - one lady behind me whispered “oh my god” and another one hummed in disbelief i loved it
  • when he says who wrote each number he turns the chair around and the spotlight drops on each of them
  • HAMILTON WROTE THE OTHER 51!!! he like practically screams and the audience was like OH MY GOD like you could hear the general disbelief in the audience it was so cool
  • washington is up on the right side balcony and hamilton is on lower center stage and its almost like he’s asking himself “treasury or state?” and washington is like “treasury” and ham goes “lez go” with the most adorABLE SMILE YOU CAN IMAGINE 
  • then all the songs overlap and it’s basically like the most incredible feeling in the world like the heaven have been opened for you or youve reached nirvana is it just this moment of pure euphoria and bliss i cant even explain it but its even better in person than on the sountrack if you can believe that
  • he is standing front center stage, and the staircase has been moved so it’s behind him, center stage. angelica is holding his left hand and eliza is holding his right
  • on each of his two “i am not throwing away my shot”s, he aggressively pulls away from angelica and eliza and then runs up the stairs, and turns around for his final “I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT!” and im like HOLY SHIT

END ACT ONE (part one of act one is here!)

((also i noticed that in the playbill they dont list ‘aaron burr, sir’, ‘story (reprise)’, ‘what comes next’, or ‘meet me inside’ as their own songs))


Act One Recap: [Part 1] [Part 2]
Act Two Recap: [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]