Flufflet #7 for @lifeinahole27 as a reward for writing her CSBB!
Last flufflet (for now)! Hope you’ve been enjoying them!
Going off of “sack of potatoes,” inspired by a convo with @clockadile, featuring Captain Cobra Swan and the CS baby–
It had been Henry’s fault.
Thanks to him, Emma had gotten addicted playing video games during her pregnancy, and her favorite had been Portal. So when Halloween rolled around, and the invitation to Regina’s costume-mandatory party came in the mail, she excitedly began putting together her Chel costume.
It had required Henry’s replica portal gun, which she’d gotten him for his birthday after he’d begged for one. So when she went upstairs to ask him if she could borrow it, she had to explain why, and he got really excited.
“We should come up with a theme!” he’d said.
“What, video game characters? But you were Link last year.”
“No, not video game characters. Potatoes.”
“Potatoes?” The hell?
“Yeah, you’re doing Portal 2 for your costume, right?” She’d nodded. “So, stick a potato on the portal gun!”
“Well, what are you going to be?” she’d asked. “And what’s Killian gonna do?”
“I’ll help him.”
“Kid, you remember what happened last time you helped Killian dress up for Halloween.” There had been a misinterpretation the one and only time Killian had ever attempted to dress up for the holiday. He’d gone with the other meaning of “dress up,” which had resulted in him wearing a three piece suit.
And Henry had been the one to help him; he’d insisted up and down that it had totally been a mistake, but Emma didn’t buy it. It had been pretty embarrassing, too, although Henry didn’t know that Emma had been under the impression that Killian was planning to dress up as Han Solo, so she’d shown up in the gold Leia bikini under a trench coat.
“I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen this time, I promise.”
“Good, because he was embarrassed about that, and you know how much he hates messing up when it comes to fitting in here.”
“I said I promise.”
She shouldn’t have believed him.
On the afternoon of the party, she was all set to go. She had on her costume, complete with homemade long-fall boots (okay, so she used a tiny bit of magic to make those). Hazel had on her cute little Space Core helmet, which August helped make. She was in the process of trying to keep the potato from falling off the portal gun when Henry scampered down the stairs in his Samwise Gamgee costume.
“Wow, Mom, you look great!”
“Thanks, kid. Have you been practicing your potato rant?”
“‘Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew,’“ he said proudly. He went up to Hazel and gave her a big kiss. “Do you wanna go to space?” he asked. “Gonna go to space? Space?”
“Aiming for that to be her first word?”
He laughed. “Nah.”
“He’s in the garage.”
“He won’t be able to walk down the stairs in his costume, so I’m gonna help him get it on there.”
“The hell is he dressing up as?”
“Oh, you’ll see,” Henry said, slightly evilly, before scampering out the door. Uh-oh.
But Hazel was starting to fuss. She gave up on the potato for the time being, pulled off the Space Core helmet, and brought Hazel over to the couch. She was still in the middle of breastfeeding when she heard a bit of a commotion outside. Through the door, she could hear Henry almost coaxing Killian along, probably trying to help him up the front steps.
And then the door opened, and Killian awkwardly stepped through.
Emma burst out laughing, and his face immediately went dark. “I knew it,” he said angrily. “I knew this was another one of his pranks. Bloody hell, Emma, tell me it’s not so bad.”
“Oh my god,” she said. She had to calm down; she was laughing so hard, Hazel was having trouble latching. “Oh god, there’s an episode of Friends we haven’t gotten to yet, and that’s Ross’ costume.”
“No.” Ross was his least favorite character. “Please tell me you’re lying.”
“And he shows up at a Halloween party wearing that, and it’s like … this big potato pun–you wouldn’t get it.” She was ruining her eyeliner from laughing so hard. “Henry, get in here!”
“He’s already gone,” he said miserably. “He said he’d meet us at Regina’s.”
“I have an idea,” she said. “I just need to put Hazel down so I can get you out of that abomination.”
When they arrived at Regina’s, Henry was visibly disappointed that they’d found a way out of his prank, and then mildly confused. “I don’t get it,” he said, staring at Killian, whose costume now consisted of a beret, an apron, and a the little egg frying pan Zelena had gotten them as a housewarming gift back in the day (it was small enough to fit into the pocket of the apron, so Killian could free up his hand when he needed to).
“I’m a French fry,” Killian said proudly. “And you should beware.”
Killian leaned in and whispered, almost too quietly for Emma to overhear: “I’ve been known to be rather single-minded about getting revenge.”