look at dis bish

can i hope they will be spending some cozy time in that tent because really i’m here for that

All the Princess Zeldas

The Legend of Zelda: Locked in a very small room surrounded by fire; it’s incredible the smoke inhalation didn’t get her before Link showed up

Adventure of Link: Cursed into a nigh endless sleep, aka the dream fate of every college girl

Link to the Past: One of seven victims of a PG-13 mass virgin sacrifice

Link’s Awakening: Hopefully taking a vacation on a real beach while Link deals with dream beach

Ocarina of Time: Look at dis bish, appropriating Sheikah culture so hard

Majora’s Mask: If you love someone, let them go…..but give them a hella rad sacred treasure so they’ll feel obligated to come back

Oracle of Ages/Seasons: Almost sacrificed again, yeesh

Four Swords: Snatched by a cloudy flying eyeball squid; that can’t have been pleasant

Wind Waker: YO HO, YO HO, A PIRATE’S LIFE FOR ME

Minish Cap: Statuesque

Twilight Princess: Probably the oldest incarnation of Zelda yet, but is somehow the one going through her middle school goth stage

Phantom Hourglass: Statuesque 2: Pirate Statue Boogaloo

Spirit Tracks: Regal until things start deviating from the royal script; is actually dorkmaster

Skyward Sword: You were expecting a whimsical romance story, but IT WAS ME: OVERBEARING RESPONSIBILITY; who says games are escapist?

Link Between Worlds: There once was a girl with the body and face of a 6 year-old, and she ruled the entire land

Breath of the Wild: EAT THIS FROG, SCIENCE DEMANDS IT