look at christian

skype sentence starters part 2
  • “i don’t know her”
  • “all i wanted to do was watch star trek”
  • “i swear bob saget killed papouli”
  • “share full house conspiracies with me”
  • “___ is in hell.”
  • “i spent 24 hours awake and ended it with bee movie”
  • “i didn’t mean to do that but now that it’s happened i’m gonna play it off like i meant to the whole time.”
  • “word to the wise: don’t call amazon at 3:30 am”
  • “you added a voice actor on facebook so i don’t wanna hear it”
  • “don’t ever look up ‘christian sonic fanart’ because it’s real”
  • “oh no, anime.”
  • “that’s not a mom that’s a 12 year old”
  • ”is there anything sadder than watching the clone pikachu fight real pikachu?”
  • “do you think Namor gets the suds like spongebob?”
  • “Lifetime biopics vs the original is like when you actually get it in the mail vs when you order it online.”
  • “she says Gene Simmons is her favorite Naruto character.”
  • “come on, take one for the meme!”
  • “i hope you never say that again for the rest of your life.”
  • “the pizza guy dropped my pizza and I’m so fuckin distraught”
  • “you named this file gaymemes”
  • “this is the gay memes initiative”
  • “i love that satanic lesbian”
  • “i made a character based on you. his name is edgelord jones”
  • “this is a callout and i’m not standing for it”
  • “don’t ask about his pet eel”
  • “i’m throwing bread at everyone i see”
  • “there’s a bottle of febreze in my room and no one knows where it came from so how did it get here?”
  • “my febreze is haunted.”
  • “we have a microwave now and i’m genuinely so happy. i’ll heat up my wallet i don’t care. i’ll heat up everything.”
It's 2018

All the teams are ready. Christian Pulisic is nervous. His first world cup. Usmnt is right behind him. They play the group stage games fine (surprisingly). They’re in the semis. Christian turns to his team…. “Guys, sit out. I got this.” Tim Howard stays standing. “No, bald head. I don’t need you.” Christian is nervous (again, he’s always fucking nervous. It’s a world cup ffs). He scores 8 goals and only allows 2. He wins the semi by himself. The final is against Brasil. His team stands again. “No, I’m okay.” Neymar scores 19 goals. Christian looks defeated but it’s only the second half. America is crying. There are riots. But Christian comes back the second half and scores 20 goals. Christian Pulisic has done it. He has saved America. Only his name is on the cup. He celebrates alone. He lifts the cup alone and takes home all the medals.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.