look at all the things i can accomplish when i'm avoiding my homework

anonymous asked:

do you have any advice for coping with gender dysphoria? i'm an AFAB demiguy and i just really can't stand myself sometimes and lately it's just been getting really bad and i'm not really sure what to do, because from what i've heard from other trans people it just gets worse and worse. i'm closeted to my family and i have so much going on i don't have the time or energy to come out but at this rate i'm just kind of hopeless. i'm sorry if this is awkward but if you have any advice i'll take it.

Urgh, I just had a bout of dysphoria last night and this morning. I dealt with it by changing into my dude-clothes, which helped a little. Oddly enough, cleaning the corrosion off my car’s battery helped a lot, probably because it took my mind off things for a while.

Here are some of the things I’ve done, and heard of other people doing:

  1. If possible, wear clothes that make you feel comfortable, or which at least don’t make you feel worse. Putting a bit of time into your appearance to reflect your gender identity may help. On the other hand, don’t try to get it looking perfect or dwell on it too much, that might make you feel worse.
  2. Don’t look in the mirror any more than necessary. Don’t look at your body any more than necessary. Try not to focus on the parts of you that feel wrong.
  3. Express your feelings in writing, music, or art. I write essays, and listen to music that feels like it describes how I’m feeling.
  4. Find ways to take your mind off it and focus on something else. I find that doing something productive or creative helps a little, because even if you still feel bad you’ll at least get a nice feeling of accomplishment. (I like to clean things.) Alternatively, you could find something so fun or fascinating that it absorbs your attention, like a great book or a new TV show to watch.
  5. Talk to other people who are going through similar problems, and who are supportive of your gender identity. You can also read about other trans/non-binary people’s experiences online or in books, or join forums about trans/non-binary stuff.
  6. Find celebrities or fictional characters you can identify with. Read about their lives and stories. Read about their problems and their triumphs. And remember that you can do that, too.
  7. Avoid contact with people who misgender you or who make you feel bad as much as possible. Hang out with people whose company makes you feel good, or spend some time alone. Dogs and other furry animals you can hug are great for when people are too much.
  8. Pamper yourself. Do things that make you feel good. Order your favorite food, take a bubble bath, play videogames. If you can, take a short break from work or school, or buy something nice for yourself. Remember that you deserve to be happy, and that you’ve earned this by dealing with all the shitty stuff in your life.
  9. Do nice things for other people. Give someone a random compliment, volunteer at an animal shelter, help someone with their homework or chores, donate money to a good charity. When you brighten someone else’s day, if often brightens yours, too.
  10. Drink enough liquids and eat enough food. Sleep in, exercise, and spend some time in the sun. Take care of your body even if you hate it, because feeling ill will only make dysphoria worse.
  11. Keep a log of how dysphoric you feel every day, and take note of any things that seem to make it worse. You may be able to identify triggers or cycles for it, and then you might be able to mentally prepare yourself for them or learn what to avoid.
  12. Read up on mental illness, especially depression and anxiety disorders, and warning signs to watch out for. It’s possible for gender dysphoria to contribute to these illnesses, so if you do get one, then recognizing it for what it is will help a lot. Your mental health is important and you should never feel bad about seeking help.
  13. I also found a pretty great list of ideas on Autostraddle, you might like some of those.
  14. Whatever you do, don’t give up on yourself. Don’t give up on the possibility that your life will get better. Remember that you can be happy, you can get through this, and even when you’re feeling weak and shitty you are still so much stronger than you realize. Some days will seem dark and bleak and you’ll doubt that you will ever feel better, but you will, so you must not give up.

saintoinette  asked:

Hi! I'm not sure if you've already answered this sort of question but anyway.... How do you do when you have a huge amount of study to do in a short time? I am not referring to a test in tbe following day... More like a lot to study in one week...!

The short answer is to evenly distribute the work across the entire week, maybe allowing for extra work on the weekends (since you have extra time when you don’t have class). But there are a few other things to consider.

If you have things due in the middle of the week, of course you’re going to have to dedicate a little extra time to that task in the early week while taking off a little bit of time for the other tasks. So, for example, if a physics homework suddenly pops up on a Wednesday but I planned on spending an hour a day on a paper then I might reduce the time to 30 minutes on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. After Wednesday I’ll try to do a bit more than an hour to sort of “catch up” on time. Or, similarly, you could do it by tasks rather than time. If I planned on doing three tasks a day for that paper then maybe I’d reduce it to one task a day on M-W, then catch up later in the week. Maybe finish the physics HW by doing problems A-B one day, C-D the next, checking them all on the following day, etc.

Part of this is going to require that you have a decent sense of how long it takes to do all of these tasks. Obviously, if you schedule too much for one day you might not get it done and then feel like you’re behind. My general goal is to get the meat of my work done during the week so I can tie up loose ends on the weekend (or get things done I wasn’t able to during the week). You could also choose to evenly spread out everything through the entire week, including weekends, having extra work to do on weekends. I find the latter to be more overwhelming just because, if I don’t get done what I planned during the week, it starts to really pile on over the weekend. Sometimes I find that scheduling more on a weekday tricks me into getting more done than I would if I scheduled less. But it all really depends on what works for you.

Another thing I highly recommend you do, especially during weeks where you have a lot to get done, is to schedule your time down to the hour. Take a look at your class/work schedule. If you have gaps between your classes, try to schedule small, non-overwhelming tasks for those times. If you don’t schedule anything chances are it will become dead time, which is a problem for many students. If you put down an overwhelming task you might end up avoiding it. I don’t have morning classes, so I schedule work in the morning. If you can’t get yourself up or just don’t think you’re productive in the morning then you don’t have to force it. I just think trying to get my work done as early as possible is helpful so I don’t procrastinate and then overwhelm myself later in the day. If you really don’t feel productive until late and know you’ll get work done then, feel free to schedule it then. However you schedule it, make sure you do. People are more likely to get things done when they schedule it because they always know what they should be doing.

You also need to prioritize your tasks. This is not just deciding which tasks need more of your time and which don’t, but also deciding when some tasks need to be eliminated or simply accomplished in a different way.

What tasks can be reduced, but never eliminated? Memorization tasks. They should never be eliminated, because once you start procrastinating on memorization tasks, like going through flashcards daily (or, more importantly, making them), you might keep procrastinating on it. Eventually you won’t have enough time to actually memorize the content. This also goes for tasks that build up every day, like rewriting notes, as well. A task that might take 30 minutes a day suddenly takes several hours in a single day because you put it off. Doing regular practice problem sets is also included in this. At the college level you will find that equations are less “plug and chug” and more about how you can manipulate them, substitute one equation into another, performing various calculus functions to create a new equation (for some classes), etc. This is something that you have to practice regularly and will probably not have much success cramming.

What kind of tasks are okay to eliminate? Obviously this depends for each class. If you were going to take notes on a chapter you already know really well, don’t do it just because you feel like you need to have a complete set of notes for each chapter; if you don’t have extra time and you know other chapters require a lot more time, eliminate it. Don’t make flashcards for terms you already know just to complete the set. If you have an assignment for another class taking up your time, ask yourself if there’s any way you can cut time spent on that assignment. Is it something that needs to be done perfectly? Could you perhaps skip attention to detail for that particular task to just get it done and over with? My English professor has us annotate texts for HW. If I don’t have extra time I’m not going to go into a lot of detail, because he only checks to see that we did the work, not the quality of it.

What kind of tasks should you tweak? Well, this is primarily about studying for exams. If you only have a couple days until your next exam and you originally planned to take notes on all the chapters (but didn’t) you’re probably going to need to change your study strategy to just reading, or even just skimming to determine which chapters you actually need to read through. If your professor only tests on material from the lecture, not the book, then focus on studying with your notes. Making study guides, doing the blank page method, flashcards (if you think you have the time to make and practice them), etc. Only consult the book if you need more clarification. This sort of situation is probably the hardest to give advice on, but being open to changing your strategies during crunch time is the first step.

Hope that helps!