look! there's a little heart in the middle!

anonymous asked:

listen y'all. i know we all know nessian are the ultimate horndogs but like i fell like they would do it a.n.y.w.h.e.r.e. like table: done, wall: done, random field in the middle of the illyrian steppes: done.

OMG OK u just opened the pandora box when u said “Illyrian steppes”.

bc hear me out, Cassian needs happy memories of that damned place, and Nesta cant help but think that wherever he turns he must see the places where he fought and fought and its still not enough in the eyes of the majority of the illyrians. So when he has to go to the steppes, Nesta goes with him, shes adamant on this, even if he isnt exactly convinced, mostly bc the place is brutal as hell and he doesnt want her to see it. But when Nesta decides on something, theres no way in hell she will change her mind.

So she starts.

A little, sweet kiss on his cheek while the other illyrians arent looking after a meeting, holding his hand when they pass near a laundry with her thumb grazing his,standing beside him when he demands the females have to train(and this is something she takes to her heart), waking up at the crack of dawn with him even if he tells her to keep sleeping.

And then, in the middle of the night, she moves their tent(and yes, it is big as shit and shes hella tiny, but this is Nesta Archeron folks) to where he use to sleep when he was a child.

He enters the tent with a hand on his face and Nesta feels the panic rising, scared she did something horrible with the hope to do good but he walks and walks, hiding his face in the crook of her neck and whispering “thank you.”

They make love, bc he is an emotional mess and needs her close, and its slow and lovely and hes  warm and safe and happy and i completely went off the road with this i am sorry.

You know how when you die and your grave stone says the year you were born and the year you died. Then there's that dash in the middle of the years. Most people over look that dash, but what you don't realize is is that line, that little dash, is our life. All the little moments. The heart breaks and heart filled moments. The tears and laughs. The pain and compassion. The frowns and smiles. You see, that line is our life right now. It's everything, actually. Mind blowing isn't it? So in other words...make your line worth it. You need to stop putting yourself down, sweetheart. Because you only live once and you gotta make it worth it. Don't regret anything only regret that you didn't do anything. Smile more. Cry less. Believe and love yourself. Because that little line, that little dash...its up to you to make that line worth it, babe.

swordrabbit  asked:

I also, think Saiko's new hair is really cute. She looks like a little.. pudgy pudding! And look at those tiny arms! She's such a little baby! It's nice that that there's some comedic relief/innocence in TG :re through her. (*cough* though I'm sure Mr. Massive and Sadistic Ishida is gonna do something to destroy it/her *cough*)

I didn’t think Saiko could get any cuter but my heart just melted seeing her with smol pig tails! I love that she’s this little ball of innocence and hilarious comments in the middle of all the horror and gore- she really deserves to be in a comedy manga :’)

Ahh I know what you mean, innocence never lasts long in TG. As cute as it is, I think Saiko’s new hair style definitely has significance. Cutting hair off before undergoing big character development is a common trope in manga/anime (and I know cutting hair has cultural importance in some Asian cultures but I don’t know enough about it to comment on it- if anyone else does please feel free to add on!). It often symbolises letting go of the burdens of the past, new beginnings, dramatic change; all that good stuff we love seeing a character go through. Saiko hasn’t had all that much character development as of yet but I think she definitely would have taken Shirazu’s death to heart. After all, Saiko was in charge of delivering the ‘final blow’ to Noro and although it was in no way her fault, she did fail at that. I can see that weighing heavily on her; that she might feel if she was a little bit stronger, had trained a little bit harder, that Shirazu might still be alive. Even though I loved this kickass, determined Saiko in the new chapter, it made me sad thinking about the reason behind it. Let’s just hope this means lots of (non-fatal) character growth for Saiko in the upcoming arc!

Six Degrees of Separation - Chapter 6, Part 2

The hours turned to days, and everyone’s faith and hope faded with each passing night. Visitors continued to trickle in to see Lauren, the bouquets leaving the room filled with scents of lavender, roses and honeysuckle. Only one visitor was conspicuously absent: Camila. Luis, Ally, Dinah and Normani would head to the hospital every day after school, staying by Lauren’s bedside until their parents called them home. Luis hadn’t slept at home since the accident. After four days of certain spinal damage from sleeping curled up in the rickety wooden chair, he brought in a sleeping bag. After another two days of likely neck damage for sleeping without a pillow, he brought in every pillow from his bedroom. Each night, once Ally left, who was usually the last to go, he’d finish his homework, pull the sleeping bag and pillow out of the closet, lay it on the tile floor next to Lauren’s bed, and fall asleep on the cold, hard ground, not waking until sunrise. The pattern repeated for nine days.

On the tenth day, though, things changed. Shortly after 4 o’clock in the morning, Luis heard a rustle at the door. He crawled out of the bag as the door creaked open. He stood up, and saw someone standing at the doorway. He rubbed his eyes and flicked on the bedside lamp.

“Drew? What are you doing here at,” he glanced at his phone, “4:07 in the morning?” Drew walked into the room, and Luis could see him better. It looked like hadn’t shaved in days, and hadn’t slept in even longer.

“I didn’t think anyone was gonna be here,” he said quietly. “I was gonna just drop this off and go.”

Luis glanced at his trembling hand, and saw a crumpled piece of binder paper.

“Go where? Dude, you haven’t been in school in weeks. I know we’re seniors, but you gotta show up to get the diploma.”

“I don’t think I’m gonna be around for a while,” Drew answered, shaking his head.

“Why? Did you get busted again?”

Drew looked at him in stunned confusion.

“You don’t know?”

Luis shook his head, as his face mirrored the confusion written across Drew’s. Drew muttered something quietly, looking at the floor.

“Drew, I can’t hear you.”

When Drew looked up, the confusion had been replaced by utter shame, as tears filled his eyes.

“This is my fault,” he answered, looking at the bed.

“No, it’s not. None of us could have known what was gonna happen. It’s the driv – ”

“Luis,” Drew cut in. “It’s my fault.”

Luis met his eyes, his heart and eyes filling with rage as he began to put the pieces together. After an eternity of silence, Drew spoke.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know she – I didn’t even see – “

“Get out. NOW.”

“Luis, please, you gotta understand. I wasn’t thinking – ”

“Oh, you weren’t thinking? Well that changes everything, doesn’t it?” he answered, his voice rising, and dripping with vengeful sarcasm. “Now that we know you weren’t thinking, she’ll wake up, right? Since you’re so sorry, she’ll be okay? It doesn’t fucking work like that!”

“I know – ”

“Do you SEE this, Drew? She’s been like this for ten days. TEN FUCKING DAYS. And nothing has changed. Nothing.” The tears Luis had been holding in for the last week and a half began to fall. “I’ve been sleeping on this floor for ten days, hoping that one morning I’ll wake up and she’ll be sitting there eating these shitty hospital breakfasts. But that hasn’t happened.”

“I know, Luis. I KNOW. You think I don’t know I know I fucked up? You think I don’t know that I can’t take this back? I’m going to the police station right now to turn myself in. I already emptied my bank account to try to help pay the bills.”

“That doesn’t MATTER, you son of a bitch. I don’t give a shit where you end up. You can rot in jail or you can rot in hell, for all I care. Your “sorry”s won’t change a thing. It won’t change the fact that she could d- “ he couldn’t even say the word. “It won’t change what her family has gone through for the last week and a half. It won’t change the fact that because of you, this might be the last we ever see of Lauren.”

“I just need her to know how sorry I am.”

He took a step towards Lauren, but Luis stepped in his path, blocking him from her.

“Drew, if you don’t get the fuck out of here right now, you won’t have to worry about jail because I swear to God, I will kill you.”

“Luis, please, just let me – ”

He didn’t have a chance to finish before Luis’ tensed fist crashed into his right eye. Luis, who was deceptively strong for his build, tackled Drew, pinned him to the floor and began throwing punch after punch at his face. Seconds later, Dr. Abrams flung the door open, pulling Luis off of Drew’s chest.

“GET OUT!” Luis shouted, still flailing at Drew in fits of rage. Dr. Abrams kept Luis pinned against the wall, but turned to Drew, who was clutching his bloody face.

“I think it’s time for you to go.”

Drew didn’t answer, just left the crumpled binder paper on Lauren’s bed and left the room. Dr. Abrams released Luis, giving him an understanding nod as he left the room. Luis crawled back into his sleeping bag, and slept right through all of his alarms to wake up for school. He woke again shortly after 1:00 that afternoon, when Dr. Abrams came in with a nurse to check on Lauren. He stayed on the floor, eyes closed, listening to the two doctors whispering above him.

“Does he ever leave?” the nurse asked.

“No,” Dr. Abrams chuckled quietly. “He usually goes to school, but I don’t think he’s been home since she got here.”

“He must really care about her,” the nurse answered. “So how’s she looking, doc?”

“Still declining.” Luis could hear him rifling through papers, flipping through charts. “She isn’t fighting as hard anymore.”

“Can we do anything about that?”

Luis peeked his eyes open, and saw Dr. Abrams slowly shaking his head.

“This is where medicine fails us. For whatever reason, whether it’s a subconscious decision or purely physical, she’s starting to give up. She’s just gotta open those eyes, but it’s gonna take one hell of a fight to do that.”

“What are the odds? Of her waking up?”

Luis held his breath, though not knowing what answer he wanted to hear.

“When we started, we were at about 50-50” Dr. Abrams sighed, “but we’re in the window of concern. I’m not calling it impossible, but I wouldn’t give it more than a 1% chance. When her parents come in this afternoon, we’ll start talking about where we want to go from here.” He paused. “At least they’ll be able to say goodbye.”

“It’s sad. Poor girl was just walking home. I hate seeing this kind of stuff happen to innocent people…” the nurse’s voice trailed off as the door clicked shut behind them. Luis pulled out his phone and texted Ally.

Luis: just overheard the doctors talking. its really bad.

Ally, who was sitting with Dinah, Normani, Camila and Austin in study hall, leaned over and showed the text to Dinah. Her face fell upon reading the words on the small screen. Camila, who had been reading silently, looked up.

“What’s going on?”

“Lauren’s not doing so well,” Dinah answered tenderly.

“Oh,” Camila answered quietly.

Ally: how bad is really bad?

A few seconds later, Ally’s phone buzzed. When she opened the text, she could feel her heart splitting down the middle.

Luis: doctors say theres a 1% chance. its almost time to start saying goodbye

Goodbye. As she finished reading the text, the first tear rolled down her cheek. Camila reached across the table, pulling the phone from Ally’s hand. The little color in her face ran down her cheeks, turning her skin ghostly white in mere seconds. Camila burst up from the table, tipping over her chair as she bolted from the room. Austin and Dinah both stood to follow her, as Ally sat frozen, stunned.

“Let me,” Dinah said, dashing into the hallway after Camila. Austin nodded, and sat back down.

Dinah found the small Cuban girl curled up in front of Lauren’s locker, knees hugged to her chest, tears streaming down her pale cheeks. She sat down next to her, wrapping her long Poly arm around Camila’s trembling shoulders. After a few minutes of silence, Camila finally spoke.

“We had our whole lives planned out. After college we were gonna go on a cruise around the world. And we’d get an apartment in New York City as we chased our dreams with reckless abandon. And she was gonna be my maid of honor and probably be late because she’d steal the limo to have wedding sex with one of the groomsmen. And I’d be her maid of honor and cry more than her on her wedding day. And at our high school reunions we’d laugh at all the pretty people that got ugly. And we’d retire together and have an old people version of jersey shore. And even when we were old and senile, we’d have rooms next door to each other at the senior center. And no matter what happened, we’d be together every year on September 2 for our best friendiversary.”

Dinah didn’t answer, just pulled her into a tighter hug.

“DJ, I’m not ready to say goodbye. I can’t lose her.”

“Maybe you won’t have to. Mila, there’s always room for another miracle. Ally was born the size of a small taco and wasn’t supposed to survive, but she’s here. Your family shouldn’t have been able to make it out of Cuba, but you did. Sure, the doctors don’t expect Lauren to pull through. But when has Lauren ever done what people expect of her?”

Camila didn’t respond.

“I think you need to go see her. Even if it’s just for two seconds. I think you’ll regret it if you don’t. I’ll go with you if you want?”

She still didn’t speak, but nodded slowly as she stood up. Ally, Austin and Normani came walking down the hall, Austin’s had his car keys in hand.

“Mr. Walker said we could go. Camila, I can drop you off at home if you want?”

“She’s gonna come with us,” Dinah answered, taking Camila’s hand tenderly. They headed out to the parking lot and piled into Austin’s car.

Back at the hospital, Luis pulled his chair back next to Lauren’s bed, but didn’t continue his daily routine. Usually, he’d sit next to her, reading a book or watching Netflix. But today felt different. He turned to face her, and took her hand in his own before speaking. For the last ten days, he hadn’t spoken to her. It just seemed strange, talking out loud to someone who couldn’t even hear him. But today felt different.

“Hey Lo, it’s me. Luis. I don’t know if you can hear me or if you’ll remember this or anything, but…hi. Sorry, I’m bad at this. I don’t really know what to say. I just feel like I should say something. In any other circumstance, me sleeping on your floor for a week and a half would be creepy, but I guess I’ve just been hoping that one of these mornings I’ll wake up and you’ll be sitting there staring at me on the floor and wondering what the fuck I’m doing.”

He paused, and glanced around the room.

“Since you probably aren’t even hearing this, I guess I don’t need to hold back. We’ve been friends for years, and I love spending time with you. I love the way you’re unapologetically yourself. I love the way you would do anything to protect the people you care about. I love the way you scrunch up your nose when you laugh. I love the way your eyes sparkle in the sun. I love the thoughts that run through your head every second of the day. I love that, no matter how many guys have hurt you, you’re not afraid to try loving again. I love the way you believe in love. And I’m sorry I haven’t been able to say any of this to you. It just scares the hell out of me. I feel like the words aren’t there, that words aren’t enough for you. So I just haven’t said anything. But if this is the last conversation we have, I just had to say it.”

Before he could continue, he heard a knock on the door. He wiped away the tears he hadn’t even noticed had begun to fall, and grabbed his book, trying to act natural as the door opened. Ally, Normani, Dinah, Austin and Camila walked in. He stood up and gave each of them a light hug, pausing as he got to Camila.

“Do you want us to give you some privacy?”

“Not yet,” she answered quietly, her voice shaking. “I’m not ready yet.”
“No worries,” he pulled her into a tight hug as Dinah sat down next to Lauren. One by one, each of them took that same spot in that same chair next to that same bed they had been beside for the last 10 days. But today felt different. After Ally had talked to Lauren for a bit, Luis pulled her into the hallway while Normani sat down.

“You knew about Drew, didn’t you?”

“Luis, I – “

“Why didn’t you tell me? The first night?”

“You were hurting enough. The last thing you needed was to know that he was responsible. How did you find out, anyways?”

“He came by this morning.”

“What?”

“He was on his way to turn himself in to the police station, and wanted to stop to apologize.”

“Oh. How did that go?”

Luis pulled his right hand out of his sweatshirt pocket, showing Ally his purple and black knuckles.

“I don’t think it’s quite what he expected,” Luis answered with a small laugh, flickering a small smile across his face. It was fleeting, but was the first time since the accident that Ally had seen him smile. The door opened, and Normani, Dinah and Austin filed into the hallway.

“Mila is in there with her,” Dinah explained. “I thought they should have some privacy, and that we’d be in the cafeteria.”

Camila stood in the corner of the room, staring at the shell of a body lying motionless on the bed. All of the color was drained from Lauren’s face, with the exception of the few remaining cuts and bruises that hadn’t quite faded yet. Camila walked over, pulled the chair right next to the bed, and sat down. She initially hesitated to touch Lauren, but reached over and took her hand.

“Why are you doing this to me, Lolo? I don’t know what you want from me anymore. I mean, I know you want me to move on without you, but I’m not gonna do that. I don’t want to do that, because you’re my best friend. And because I know that we’re better together. And…and because I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I kissed you, I’m sorry I blew up at you, I’m sorry I led you on, I’m sorry for not being here for you. I’m sorry for letting you fall apart. I got stubborn and didn’t listen and now you’re not waking up and, and,” she could feel her breath getting short. “And I know it’s my fault. I’m so sorry.”

She got up from the chair, and crawled into the bed beside Lauren, sobbing into her shoulder.

“Your mom, dad, Chris, Taylor…they’re a mess right now. And you gotta wake up soon. They need you. And maybe you were right, Lauren. Maybe I don’t need you. But I want you. I miss you. I miss us. I miss Camren. Please, just open your eyes.”

The tears continued to roll down Camila’s face, each falling faster than the prior. But she knew her words didn’t matter. Nothing she said could change the broken bones wrapped in casts. Nothing she said could wake her up. The devastation turned to frustration, red anger.

“Dammit Lauren, wake up! You can’t just leave me like this. Please.” Her voice fell to a whisper as she curled up on Lauren’s skin-and-bones shoulder.

“Please.”

She closed her eyes, her head still resting next to Lauren’s.

“Please.”

“Don’t be sorry, Camz.”

Camila’s eyes sprung open as she sat up.

“Lo? Lauren, please tell me that was you.”

Lauren’s normally raspy voice was barely audible, and her eyes were still shut.

“None of this is your fault.”

“Oh my god, Lauren!”

Camila threw her arms around Lauren, forgetting the broken arm and ribs, remembering only when she smacked her own wrist on the hard cast. She got up off the bed, wiping tears away from her face.

“I – I need to – are you – I need to call the doctor!”

Camila grabbed the bedside remote, searching frantically for the doctor call button.

“Wait.”

She set the remote down and face Lauren.

“Can you give me a cup of water?”

“Of course,” Camila answered, grabbing a water bottle off the table and carrying it to Lauren.

“Before you call the doctor, can I say something?”

Camila nodded, and sat down in the bedside chair as Lauren took a sip of water.

“I thought breaking up with Paul was the worst, but that didn’t matter when I lost you.”

“Lo, I – “

“Hold on. Just let me finish.” Camila nodded, as Lauren continued. “I fucked up, Camz. Really bad. And not just in the last couple of months. Please, let me make it up to you. I know you’re going to say that I don’t have to – “

“Because you don’t,” Camila cut in.

“But I want to.” Lauren finished. “Please, just give me a chance to make it up to you.”

“Of course,” Camila smiled, giving Lauren a gentle hug. “But for now, I really need to get the doctor. And I think there are a few people that want to see you.”

First, you think the worst is a broken heart.
What’s gonna kill you is the second part.
And the third, is when your world splits down the middle.
And fourth, you’re gonna think that you fixed yourself.
Fifth, you see them out with someone else.
And the sixth, is when you admit you may have fucked up a little. 

A/N: Don’t worry, we aren’t quite done yet =) I really appreciate all the feedback you all have been giving, keep it coming! The next couple chapters will definitely be more cheerful than the last few. Also I didn’t have time to proofread so sorry if there are any typos…