I’ve been on tumblr for a while. And one thing I’ve witnessed is the danger of group mentality. To crusade for a cause, even one you wholeheartedly believe in, can lead to you causing more harm than good. People in positions of power (I.e big names in fandom) can very easily whip up a mob and unleash their followers upon anyone they dislike.
The opinions on my blog are my own. They are what I believe in, and it’s only natural to think yourself right. But that does not mean that I AM. I have been proven wrong before, and it will happen again in the future. It’s a learning process, and it doesn’t stop.
To the people who follow me, I urge you to practice active thinking. Take in the opinions of others, and then THINK about them. You don’t have to agree with every part of statement; you can like part A and B but discard part C. What matters is that you take in information, process it, and then judge it based on your own values. You don’t have to blindly follow the opinions and beliefs of someone else. That just leads to a group mentality, which can be dangerous based on whoever leads.
The point of this post is to raise awareness on an issue I think is important. But is it? That’s up to you to ponder. Whether you agree or disagree, think about /why/ you’re reacting the way you are. Do you have some preconceived notion of what matters online? Do you dislike me? Like me? What influences your opinions? What in your life impacts your decision making? Why, do you think, are you reacting this way?
I was lying in bed
with my husband, trying desperately to get to sleep because I have an early
start tomorrow. The earlier I have to be up, the harder my body seems to fight
to keep me awake.
The wind outside is triggering our sensor light. Whenever it
comes on, I sort of freeze and count the timer in my head for it to click off.
1, 2, 3, 4, click. It’s off again. I relax. If it is a cat or the wind that triggers
the sensor light, it will click off after 4 seconds - telling me no one is
Our dog sleeps on the bed with us so he is also a good indication
for if I should worry about a noise or not. He is a very scary looking long
haired German shepherd, but he is a baby. His bark truly is worse than his
I think half the reason I cannot sleep is because the wind
is thrashing against our bedroom window and triggering the sensor light. It has
probably gone off 20 times tonight, but I’d rather be annoyed with it turning on
than switch it off entirely.
It keeps turning on.
1, 2, 3, 4, click.
1, 2, 3, 4, click.
I can feel myself drifting off and becoming less aware of
the light trying to penetrate my eyelids. It’s on again.
1, 2, 3, 4… 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.
My eyes fly open. I look at our dog sleeping at the
end of the bed, his head is up and looking towards the front of the house, so I
shake my husband awake.
He turns over to me and I’m pointing at the window. I said, “It hasn’t gone off. There’s someone outside.” Now, of course, I can’t
see anyone but I’m terrified because this is the first time it’s stayed on. My
husband jumps up and flicks our bedroom light on.
The sensor light flicks off.
I’m laying there, sort of frozen and my husband has a
“Fucking cats,” he says, climbing back into bed.
I’m not satisfied. “Babe, can’t you just go and look?
It stayed on for ages. At least check the doors are locked?”
He grunts, rolls his eyes and gives me a condescending pat
on the head, “Anything for my little scaredy cat.” He then makes a joke
about how I need to stop reading scary stories before bed.
I hear him walk down the hallway, open the front door just
to re-lock it. He calls out, “All the windows are shut, and front and back doors are locked.”
He comes back to bed, gives me a kiss, and requests a back
tickle for all his manly efforts. It was the least I could do for waking him up
for nothing. Facing him, giving him a back tickle, I see a shadow outside
through the blinds. I’m not calling ghost on this. It was a person. They were
quick. Almost darting past our front window.
But there couldn’t have been.
The sensor light didn’t come on. I look over to our dog, who
is still alert and looking at the window, his head low. Suddenly there is a
bang on the fence like someone putting a foot on our fence to hoist themselves
My dog lunges off the bed and starts barking and snarling. Then I heard another bang on the fence and whoever it was darted across out
front yard down the street. Maybe the dangerous bark scared someone off?
Well, that is what I thought I saw. But the sensor light
never came on. All the barking woke my husband up, he yelled at our dog to get
on his bed and turned over to me.
I told him what I heard and saw.
I could tell he was frustrated.
“Seriously, go to sleep. I’ve had enough of this
paranoid shit” He said to me. He gets real shitty if he gets woken up a
bunch of times. Even more so when the dog wakes him. So I did.
Telling myself that the noise was probably a cat jumping the
fence and as far as what I saw, well the sensor light never came on so I can’t
have seen anyone.
So that was last night. I’m sitting on the lounge eating
coco pops for breakfast and my husband is up and getting ready for a bike ride.
He is in a much better mood this morning and asked me how I
slept in the end. “Ahh ok, I guess” I replied.
My husband smiled, “Good, I knew if I turned the
sensor light off, you’ll sleep better, my little scaredy cat.” And leaned down
and kissed me on the forehead before leaving for his bike ride.
Now I’m left sitting here knowing someone was here last
night. I knew I didn’t imagine it. I get ready for work, jump in the car, and start reversing out of the driveway and I slam the brakes on.
Written in reverse so I can see it in my mirror. In the dust
and dirt of my back window. “Hi, scaredy
cat,” with a big smiley face next to it.