long-hur

¦ ✧ ¦ She woke up with a gasp, shaking from the dream she just had. no, it wasn’t a dream; it was her memories. when she had had her “nightmares” before, Jasper had said not to worry about them yet; that she would understand in due time. and now she understood. most of these memories were painful, and her chest hurt making it hard to breath. but that wasn’t what hit her the hardest. it was that she had good memories, ones that she cherished and brought her joy. of people she cared so deeply for and promised she would always remember. and yet she forgot. 

she had forgotten about her first love who gave her hope after the worst moments of her life. she had forgotten about Jasper, who had helped her get on her feet and became a great support to her. she had forgotten about the Prince who was a great friend and helped her obtain a peaceful life. she had forgotten Yato, who was like a brother; Mimi, who was like a sister. she had forgotten Zeriel, who may have been an asshole, but he was still a dear friend.

and worst of all, she had forgotten Dee. how could she have forgotten the one who managed to make her feel gentle again, of the one who made her feel like there was actually something worth living for? of the one who made her happy only by being near her? 

where was he now?

she was still shaking, but she quickly threw off her blankets and dashed around the room, turning off all light sources and closing the blinds in her room in an attempt to make it as dark as possible. it was the only thing she could think of to contact him. once she felt it was dark enough - dark enough being it was like night had fallen in only her room - she stood in the middle of the room, calling out to him.

              ❝ Dee! Dee, where are ya!? please, 
                 ‘m sorry! i didn’- i didn’-! ❞

                          i didn’t mean to forget you.

tears formed in her eyes, sliding down her face a moment later. she couldn’t ask for his forgiveness. how could she do something so selfish when she couldn’t even remember him for all those weeks; leaving him alone? her hands moved up to cover her wet face, a gentle sob sounding through the room as her thoughts consumed her, telling her she was being selfish for wanting him back after what she had done.

              ❝ ’m so, so sorry...
                 please don’t leave me…

she wanted to see him one last time, even if it was for the last time.

@furvusletum