long texts

Undertale theory: Sans only uses one attack

This is a little late, but I was playing a little Undertale to celebrate the one year anniversary the other day, and something occurred to me that I’ve never seen anybody mention before. Maybe everybody’s already aware of it, I don’t know.

In a game where the characters pride themselves on how many special attacks they have, nobody thinks of Sans as anything special. Even the game itself calls him the weakest monster, but he seems to have tons of really abilities. He moves impossibly fast, appears in places he shouldn’t and summons things from out of nowhere. If you end up fighting him, he shifts gravity around, breaks through invincibility frames and dodges attacks that aren’t supposed to be able to miss. He’s much harder to beat than the ‘gods’ you fight as the final bosses of the other two paths.

If you follow the clues the game gives you and piece together his backstory, it becomes clear that Sans is much smarter than he lets on. He’s spent a lot of time trying to understand how the world works, and he’s the only character without Save powers to realize that you’ve been loading your game. If you manage to get the key to his room and get inside his hidden workshop from there, you find this:

There’s all sort of theories about what this machine is, but most people agree that this is related to the royal scientist W.D. Gaster, the secret third skeleton character who fell into his creation and was torn to pieces before the events of the game. There are little signs of him here and there, but nobody remembers him because the circumstances of his death somehow removed him from existence entirely, and the timeline shifted around him to close the gap. Earlier in the game, characters say that Sans and Papyrus appeared in Snowedin out of nowhere one day. Even if Sans doesn’t have his own memories to go by, he’s smart enough to put the pieces together to try and figure out how he got where he is, and that would have brought him to the remains of Gaster’s creation. The only thing that could completely erase somebody like that would have to be some kind of time machine, and even if Sans couldn’t get it working like it was supposed to, he might have gotten it to do something else. Instead of going forward or backwards, he can make time stop.

There is one scene in the game where you can clearly see this in action. When Sans invites you to Grillby’s, pay attention to the animations in the background. When he’s hinting to you about Flowey, the room goes dark except for a light around both of you.

It looks like it’s just for dramatic effect, but outside of that bubble of light, all the animations freeze completely. When he’s done talking, everything goes back to normal. He even turns around before he leaves and tells you that he forgot what he was going to say. He’s putting on a show for the other characters in the bar who just saw him start to ask you something, then get up and leave.

Of course, if you’ve read other theories online you probably knew about the time machine and the connection to Gaster, but that’s not the part I wanted to talk about.

Undertale is full of anime references, but the one it references the most is JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. You can spot it in bits of dialogue, musical cues, and even the design of one of the main characters:

  The main antagonist of several seasons of the anime, Dio, appears to have godlike powers too. He teleports around, escapes inescapable attacks, and even summons huge things out of nowhere. The main characters can’t figure out how he can do all these things, it appears to break the established rules for how their powers can work. It’s not until the second to last episode that they learn that every ability he seems to have is just a creative use of his real power, to freeze time.

Sans isn’t moving fast, he’s just moving faster than everything else. He can move people and things while time is stopped, explaining his ability to take you through ‘shortcuts’ that only work while he’s with you. The huge skull cannons he summons during his fight are physical machines, not magic (They’re actually another invention of Gaster’s, going by the name of their sprites in the game files). His gravity-changing attacks are just him freezing time and then rotating everything around you so that it feels like the force pulling you down suddenly started pulling you up. It’s completely seamless, the only time in the game you even notice anything happening is when he’s trying to intimidate you by making the screen flash while he ‘teleports’ away.

This is why the other characters think Sans is lazy. This is why he eats multiple lunches a day. He’s spending hours running around in between the seconds, and he only stops when he needs to sleep. The fight with Sans is the longest one in the game, and it takes a solid fifteen minutes if you do everything perfectly. For him, it went on for days. In the end, he just couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer.

I. What we never planned to be

    Midday cast across the sky, tinting the passing clouds in gentle hues of yellow and orange.  A few stray Pidoves soared above the sporadic tree tops, dipping below for brief intervals before flapping their wings to rise back up to the clearer sections of the sky. This calm harmony was quickly brought a halt, however, with the abrupt clamor of shouting, heavy laughter and feet recklessly stomping along the grassy terrain. 

    The remaining birds scattered about through the trees whilst the local bugs and Rattata scampered away from the group trampling through the greenery. The source of the ruckus summed up to be a collection of young adults dressed in identical uniforms with large red ‘R’s printed on the chest of their ebony and ivory attire. The group squabbled and horsed around, seeming quite proud of themselves as they headed to the large, black, dome-like metal building that sat in the midst of a rather wide clearing. Crates were laid about, some in twos and threes, cluttering up around and even within the opening of the building. 

    As the group of similarly dressed grunts entered the building, still yammering away about how wonderfully they’d done, they were followed by a set of Pokemon. Some were dressed in armor-like pieces on certain sections of their frames, while others were either lacking any accessories, or were equipped with something simple and unimportant. 

Keep reading

as much i used to announce things going on in my life, i haven’t been doing it nearly as much recently. I think I’m finally remembering what it’s like to stay quiet about certain things. 

and since starting hormones, while I still eat a lot of junk, i have more of a drive to burn energy. i’m actually exercising nearly every morning and i’m drinking lots more water. i’m beginning to build the muscle ive been trying to build for years now and let me tell you that’s so satisfying. I started keeping a written journal of my experiences and how i’m feeling and though I miss daily entrees now and then, I still do what I can to make up for it by mentioning the days I missed in the following entries. oddly enough, my handwriting looks weirdly out of place to me, homely and natural yet foreign. 

i managed to get with two amazing people i’ve been crushing on since the day i met them both at a convention back in 2010. the amount of love and acceptance they show me is something i’m still not used to, even though it hasn’t been that long. I hope we all continue to get alone well and work together. 

all in all, things have been pretty good and i’m working to better myself!

a very long text post with lots of things i feel i need to say

I don’t really know how to start this or how I am going to organise my thoughts and say what I need to say. So I guess I will just begin.  I have struggled a lot with mental illness in my life, I used to post about it a bit probably over 18 months ago. I stopped because of how broken mental illness discourse often seems to be on this website. Illness and suffering is not only romanticised and glamorised but coveted and seen as necessary: the echo chamber environment that has been created has led so many people (especially young girls) that to be creative, or beautiful, interesting, or popular on this website, one must be mentally ill. That the goal is to suffer and not to recover. Obviously this ethos is damaging and awful, I kept quiet about my experiences because I was terrified about inadvertently propagating this idea. Of course this is not everyone here, so so many people have healthy views, but these damaging ideas are alarming far spread. I am, obviously, not the first person to talk about this. A lot of people have spoken about this at greater length and better than I ever could, but I still feel I needed to preface what I am about to say.

My mental health has been very poor over the last few months, and I feel that it is probably time for me to be a little bit honest with you all. I won’t go in to detail for the above reasons as well as the fact that this is very difficult to talk about. I will just say that I have been very unwell and steadily declining over a number of months, until things reached a crescendo of awful early this week. think you all should know the reasons for my days long absences and the reasons why I have been posting things that I am not entirely happy with, just because I have nothing to else post and am too afraid to go out and take any new pictures or share what I have been working on.   But I am finally getting help and have found that I am finally able to feel hopeful as long as I am constantly directing my energies into creative endeavours. So look forward to seeing the results here and thank you for you patients with me, I hope to be a little more open and a lot less scared of you all in the future..

Sorry that this post doesn’t have much of a point and could be way more concise but I had a lot of things I needed to express on here.

Show of hands, how many people did ‘Mindful Education’ hit way too close to home for?

It seemed throughout the series thus far Steven has managed to maintain his innocence, and that itself hasn’t changed. But it also seemed like nothing bothered him- at least not too much. But we’ve been building up to this, and its been a long time coming. 

I think Bismuth was the first time Steven really started to realize that he (and the Crystal Gems) had done some things that were truly morally gray. ‘Us Vs. Them’ was nothing new to him, but it’s different when you’re facing someone that’s one of your own. That didn’t mean the fight wasn’t necessary, but it also doesn’t mean it was any easier to face. 

Jasper was obviously different- she’s been presented as nothing but a villain through the series. But Steven? Given the opportunity he still wants to help, because that’s just who he is. Thing is, you can’t give advise to someone who isn’t ready to listen. It’s not your fault that they aren’t taking the helping hand you’re trying to give, but it still hurts when they don’t. 

Eyeball was a combination of Steven’s most pressing issues (and possibly why she was imagined as the biggest of Stevonnie’s visions). He tried to take the tactic of saying he WAS his mother- not that Eyeball believed him at first. Then she cracks her gem, and lets him help her despite herself. This of course ultimately becomes his undoing. Because Steven managed to heal her gem, she finally believes that he is Rose Quartz and wants him dead. For someone who believes in helping anyone no matter what, and always believes the best in people, this is probably a pretty big blow for him. At the time he was obviously focused on staying alive, which happened to result in sending her spiraling out into endless space. It was necessary, but it was a blow on two fronts: He finally used his mother’s legendary abilities to do what she would have done (heal someone), but ends up doing something that might effectively kill them when things went wrong- which when it comes to light, is also something that she probably would have done.

And it doesn’t sit easy with him. 

Up until this point all Steven ever wanted to do was to be able to fill his mother’s shoes. We already had this:

I’m not Rose Quartz.

But what happens when you discover that the person you’ve been trying so hard to become did things  you would never, not even in your wildest dreams, do? Worse yet: What happens when you do those exact same things?

When you spend too much time trying to be someone else, you start to lose yourself.  Steven feels not only that he has to be Rose Quartz, but that everyone else expects him to be Rose Quartz too. Above all, he just wants to make everyone happy, even if it means sacrificing his own happiness in return. So if that means suppressing everything he’s feeling about what’s happened, that’s what he’s going to try to do. 

And that’s when Rose goes from this:

To this:

You can’t hold all that inside and function long term, you just can’t. 

It’s scary to face the parts of yourself that you don’t like, and even harder to face the things you’ve done that you’re not proud of. But your inner demons are part of you too, and if you don’t face them they will devour you. 

Worse yet they can hurt the people around you and destroy the relationships that keep you whole. If you try to constantly push down the things that are haunting you for the sake of everyone around you, you will only isolate and destroy yourself. 

Garnet Said it best:

To find balance you must understand your feelings. To understand your feelings, you must see them clearly without running from them.

And that is a lesson we could all do to learn.

Ok so Stevonnie does not use they/them pronouns because they’re two people but because they’re nonbinary, notice that:

The gem x gem fusions are not referred to as they, Garnet uses she/her pronouns and is composed of two gems

Jenny who probably has no idea Stevonnie is a fusion used they/them pronouns for them in Beach City Drift

Just let people who are nonbinary (or anyone who uses they/them pronouns for that matter) have representation and stop saying “Stevonnie uses they/them pronouns because they’re a fusion UwU” please?

i don’t like scary halloween. i don’t like sexy halloween. i love childish halloween

i love the halloween that’s full of smiling pumpkins watching you from every angle, i love the halloween that’s covered in fake spiderwebs and spiders and bugs, i love the halloween that’s all purple glitter and black cloth and drowning in candycorn and sweets, i love the halloween that’s decorated with grinning skeletons and sheet ghosts and little mechanical figures that go “BOO!!!” when you stand in front of them, i love the halloween that’s all black and orange and green and purple, with plastic bats hanging from ceilings and hands sticking out of candy bowls and silhouettes of witches flying through the night and black cats with arching backs and bright yellow eyes

i love the halloween that’s full of all those so obviously fake decorations and costumes and monsters, that you know is all fake, but as a kid, it all feels so real and mysterious and magical, as if that scarecrow you passed really did come to life instead of just being a man in a costume, as if those ghosts hanging from tree branches were really watching you from the dark corners, as if those zombies sticking out of fake graves could really pop out and chase after you

i love that halloween full of magic of imagination and pure fun, the halloween that’s spirit comes from children’s imagination and creativity, the halloween that comes from the excited giggles of children dressed as vampires and superheroes and cartoon characters getting a kick out of getting scared by the hand in the candy bowl making a grab for theirs, knowing it’ll happen, but feeling giddy about it anyway

that’s the halloween i love

for me being hiv+ has resulted in friendships with a lot of older lgbt folks. the ones who survived the epidemic but lost partners, family, friends. the ones who experienced abusive shock and aversive therapy. the ones who have folders upon folders of funeral pamphlets and obituaries, often where the gender and/or sexuality of the deceased was rewritten and buried in words written by their unsupportive family. the ones who can name people memorialized on the aids quilt. 

i’ve learned a lot from them about what it means to be lgbt from them and i wanted to share an experience with the q slur. 

my school’s gay-straight alliance started meetings with joking about the “queer agenda”. i had “queer and proud” in my then tumblr bio. the word felt radical and i would have shouted it from the rooftops, although i wasn’t necessarily certain of its meaning.

but when i reclaimed a slur, not only applying it to myself but also for my friends, they recoiled. a few of them did their best to reassure me but i could tell that referring to them as “queer” had hurt, that in that moment i had replicated the exact language of slur-hurling americans who told them they deserved to die - on the senate floor and in the streets. they survived a state-sponsored plague, not to mention complicated intersections of transmisogyny and racism within lgbt communities meant to assist them, often failing to do so.

i’m very small, soft-spoken, and at the time only 17 years old. but when i applied that word to the group of them in a coffee shop parking lot they looked scared. 

it is my word to reclaim as a nonbinary lesbian if i choose to but i urge you to think long and hard before making generalizations about “the queer community”, before encouraging cis hets to use it as if it’s their word, as if it’s their history, as if it’s their pain to understand and shoulder. it can obviously be joyously or tentatively reclaimed by members of the lgbt community, at each individual’s discretion, but first and foremost, at face value, queer is a slur.

as far as the fandom’s misconceptions about hunk its hard to even call out any trends because the fandom as a whole hardly even acknowledges him

things hunk is:

  • cautious, anxious, and the voice of reason yes, but also cares deeply about his friends and helping others and when push comes to shove isnt afraid to put himself at risk to help out (shay)
  • intelligent, observant, and perceptive, and able to read people better than some of his teammates, being the first to pick up on rolo/nyma’s deception
  • not ashamed to rub it in when he’s right and he knows it
  • laidback and friendly yes, but also fiercely protective of the people and things he considers important to him
  • less fearful in general as he comes into his own as a paladin of voltron and as the series goes on
  • probably has gad and possibly adhd too
  • (hyperfocuses on things that he’s dedicated to)
  • enthusiastic and fun, and not afraid to make jokes or be silly to lighten up the mood in a situation
  • aware of and sensitive to how others around him feel and when they may be uncomfortable, and more than willing to make himself the butt of a joke to make them laugh and feel better about it
  • large and soft and good and strong and brave and handsome

things hunk is in fanfics, if he’s there at all:

  • guy who likes food, i guess

@ fandom: stop this

If TJLC isn't real...

• Why did Sherlock show an obvious disinterest in women during his first minute of screen time
• Why did Sherlock wink at John when he first met him
• Why did Mrs Hudson assume that John was Sherlock’s new boyfriend
• Why did Sherlock not correct her
• Why did John say ‘oh god yes’ the way he did
• Why does John call Sherlock brilliant and fantastic all the time
• Why did Angelo assume John and Sherlock were on a date
• Why did Sherlock not correct him
• Why did John ask if Sherlock had a girlfriend
• Why did Sherlock say that girlfriends aren’t his area
• Why did John ask Sherlock if he had a boyfriend
• Why did John smile and lick his lips when he discovered that Sherlock was single
• Why did Sherlock assume that John was asking him out
• Why was the scene where they are laughing in the hallway filmed like a post-sex bed scene
• Why did Sherlock cure John’s psychosomatic limp
• Why did Mycroft say ‘may we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?’
• Why did John instantly trust Sherlock and is loyal to him when he has trust issues
• Why did Lestrade say that John knows Sherlock better than he does even though Lestrade has known him for years and John had known him for a day
• Why the prolonged eye contact
• Why did John shoot a man to save Sherlock even though he had known him for a day
• Why did Sherlock look at John the way he did in the car park
• Why did they get dinner together afterwards
• Why did Sherlock suggest that they go on a date
• Why did Sherlock crash John’s date
• Why did he spin John around by his shoulders in order to ‘maximise his visual memory’
• Why was Sherlock so arsey to Sarah
• Why did Sherlock watch John walk away from Baker Street through the window
• Why did Mrs Hudson ask if they’d had a ‘little domestic’
• Why did Sherlock not correct her
• Why did John sleep on Sarah’s sofa
• Why did Sherlock know that Jim from IT was gay because he is well groomed and uses product in his hair when Sherlock is very well groomed and uses product in his hair
• Why does Sherlock know gay underwear trends
• Why did John say ‘I hope you will be very happy together’ when Sherlock talked about Moriarty
• Why did Donovan say to John ‘opposites attract, I suppose’
• Why did Sherlock look at John after Moriarty said ‘I’ll burn the heart out of you’
• Why did Moriarty say ‘we both know that’s not quite true’ when Sherlock said that he’s ‘been reliably informed that he doesn’t have [a heart]’
• Why did Sherlock freak out so much when he removed the Semtex from John
• Why does that scene look and sound sexual
• Why was John’s first thought ‘I hope nobody saw you ripping off my clothes they might talk’
• Why do they agree to die together
• Why does Sherlock always talk to John even when he’s not there
• Why did Sherlock say that sex doesn’t alarm him
• Why did Sherlock steal an ashtray for John
• Why did Sherlock only look at Irene’s face when she was fully naked
• Why did Irene say ‘somebody loves you, if I had to punch that face, I’d avoid your nose and teeth too’ and look at John
• Why did John get annoyed and say ‘I had a tea at the palace too, if anyone’s interested’
• Why could Sherlock deduce John perfectly but not deduce Irene at all
• Why did Irene say that she wasn’t sure that Sherlock knew 'where to look’
• Why did Sherlock stutter when John flirted with Irene
• Why was Sherlock’s first thought John when he woke up • Why did John cancel his date to look after Sherlock
• Why did John get annoyed at Sherlock’s erotic moan text alert
• Why did John count the texts that Sherlock got from Irene
• Why did Sherlock ignore all of these texts
• Why did John’s girlfriend say that John is 'a great boyfriend and Sherlock Holmes is a very lucky man’ and that she didn’t want to 'compete with Sherlock Holmes’
• Why was she dressed like Sherlock
• Why can’t John tell his girlfriends apart
• Why did John say that Sherlock acts heartbroken all the time
• Why did John get so angry at Irene when she came back
• Why did he shout 'you’ve texted him a lot!’
• Why did he say 'you… Flirted… With Sherlock Holmes?’ in that tone of voice
• Why did Irene ask if he’s jealous
• Why did Irene (who knows what people like) say that they are a couple
• Why did John not deny this
• Why did John not reply when Irene said 'well I… Am [gay]. Look at us both’
• Why did Sherlock look so emotional after hearing this
• Why did John ask Sherlock how he felt about Irene being alive
• Why did John playfully say 'what, in your bedroom?’ When Sherlock said that they had a client while standing in his room
• Why did Sherlock start talking to John even though he wasn’t present and Irene was
• Why did he say to Irene 'why would I want to have dinner if I wasn’t hungry?’ Even though he always goes to dinner with John and doesn’t eat anything
• Why did John say 'John Hamish Watson, just if you were looking for baby names’
• Why did Irene tell Sherlock to 'impress a girl’ and then he looked at John while deducing
• Why does Sherlock say 'don’t feel obliged to tell that that was amazing or wonderful; John’s already expressed that in every variant available to the English language’
• Why did Sherlock say 'don’t be absurd’ when Mycroft assumed that he loved Irene
• Why did Sherlock randomly say 'I suppose John Watson thinks love’s a mystery to me’ in the middle of a conversation that had nothing to do with John and was about love and sentiment
• Why does Mycroft consult John on matters of Sherlock’s heart
• Why did John look relieved and smile when Sherlock said 'why would I want to see her again?’
• Why did the gay couple that own the inn in Dartmoor assume that Sherlock and John were a couple
• Why did John not correct them
• Why did Sherlock smirk at John when he pulled rank
• Why did John say 'you with your… Cheekbones and turning your collar up so you look cool’
• Why did Dr Frankland refer to John as Sherlocks’s 'live in PA’
• Why did Sherlock defensively ask 'what about us?’ When Henry said 'look at you and John’
• Why did the papers assume that John is a 'confirmed bachelor’ (euphemism for a gay man)
• Why did John say that they 'need to be more careful’
• Why did John not reply when Sherlock asked why other people’s options of Sherlock upset him
• Why did Sherlock and John stare at each other in the mirror while getting ready for the trail
• Why did Sherlock say 'you repel me’ with such poison after Kitty Reilly said that there’s 'all sorts of gossip in the press’ about him and that she can 'settle the record straight’
• Why does Molly say to Sherlock 'you look sad, when you think he can’t see you’
• Why did Sherlock only lose his shit when he thought that John was starting to doubt him
• Why did John chin the chief superintendent for calling Sherlock a weirdo
• Why did John trust Sherlock with holding a loaded gun to his head
• Why was John’s first thought 'people will definitely talk’ after Sherlock held his hand and they ran together down the street
• Why was Sherlock’s first thought 'John’ when Moriarty said that the people he cares about will die
• Why did Sherlock cry on the roof
• Why was Sherlock’s 'last’ words 'goodbye, John’
• Why did John look so heartbroken
• Why did John’s therapist say 'the things you meant to say… But never did. Say them now’
• Why did John refuse
• What were the things he never said
• Why did John say at Sherlock’s grave 'one more miracle, Sherlock, for me. Don’t… Be… Dead’
• Why did John mourn Sherlock more like a lover than a friend
• Why were the S*erl0lololo and S***i4rty ship fan theories dismissed as 'bollocks’ when Johnlock, the main ship in fandom, wasn’t mentioned
• Why did Sherlock look so happy to be returning to London
• Why did Mrs Hudson assume that John was about to tell her he was ill when he was actually about to inform her of his engagement to 'Mary’
• Why did John say that he was 'moving on’ from Sherlock
• Why did Mrs Hudson assume that he was engaged to a man
• Why did Mrs Hudson think that Sherlock was John’s boyfriend after years of knowing them both very well
• Why did Sherlock keep asking about John while Mycroft gave him important information about the terrorists
• Why did Sherlock suggest that he jump out of a cake (which is an action which is usually sexualised)
• Why did Sherlock interrupt John’s proposal to 'Mary’
• Why did John not whisper when proposing to 'Mary’, like he normally does when he is emotional
• Why did John say 'one word, that’s all I would have needed. One word to let me know that you were alive’
• What did he need the one word for
• Why did Sherlock say 'you have missed this… Admit it… just the two of us against the rest of the world’ right in front of 'Mary’
• Why did Sherlock look so hurt as he watched John and 'Mary’ drive away
• Why was solving crimes and going on a date linked together via Molly
• Why did Sherlock keep hearing John’s voice in his head
• Why did he call Molly 'John’
• Why did John shave off his mustache because Sherlock didn’t like it
• Why did John not want 'Mary’ to read his blog
• Why does 'Mary’ always tease John about Sherlock
• Why did John look delighted at the prospect of Sherlock coming to the clinic in disguise
• Why was Sherlock so panicked when he realised that John was in danger
• Why was he more panicked than 'Mary’
• Why did Sherlock run straight into the fire to drag John out while 'Mary’ just kind of… Stood there
• Why did Sherlock cup John’s face
• Why is Sherlock in focus and 'Mary’ isn’t when the camera shows John’s POV
• Why did Sherlock want to get rid of his parents when John arrived
• Why did Sherlock say that he likes his 'doctors clean shaven’
• Why did Sherlock tell John to go and save himself when the bomb switched on
• Why did they have an intense discussion about feelings when John thought that they were about to die
• Why did John say that Sherlock is the 'best and wisest man’ that he has even known
• Why did Sherlock pretend to not care/ forget about the wedding
• Why did he try and get Mrs Hudson to leave when she talked about her maid of honour and the end of eras
• Why did Sherlock sadly stare at John’s chair
• Why did he say 'into battle’ before putting his wedding suit on
• Why do we not see any of the actual wedding
• Why did Sherlock not move when the photographer said 'just the bride and groom, please’
• Why did Sherlock look so weirded out when Janine said 'no sex, okay’
• Why is Sherlock so skilled at gauging the attractiveness of men
• Why did John not care about 'Mary’’s ex coming to their wedding
• Why did Sherlock get obviously jealous of Sholto
• Why did 'Mary’ notice this and say 'neither of us were the first, you know’
• Why did Mycroft tell Sherlock to 'not get involved’
• Why did Sherlock compare his love for John to 'Mary’’s love for John multiple times in his best man speech
• Why did Sherlock go catatonic when John asked him to be best man
• Why was that scene so similar to a marriage proposal
• Why did Sherlock call John 'the bravest and kindest and wisest man’ that he has 'ever had the good fortune of knowing’
• Why the elephant in the room
• Why was John looking for cases to go on with Sherlock instead of planning his wedding
• Why was Sherlock scared of John and 'Mary’ getting married
• Why did John make a weird face when he called Sherlock 'mate’
• Why did Sherlock imply that he was John’s 'current commander’ and that Sholto was John’s 'ex’
• Why did Sherlock get up and leave when John started talking about 'Mary’ changing his life
• Why did John compare his relationship with 'Mary’ to his relationship with Sherlock
• Why did Sherlock look so weirded out when Molly said that she’s having a lot of sex with Tom
• Why does Sherlock have a file on John
• What is in the file
• Why did he print out and glue a picture of John’s face onto a picture of the Vitruvian man (the ideal man)
• Why did John and Sherlock go to a gay bar during the stag night
• Why did the lights look like the bisexual flag
• Why did they lie together on the stairs at Baker Street
• Why did John grope Sherlock’s knee and say 'I don’t mind’
• Why did their feet keep touching
• Why did Sherlock look so upset at Tessa’s story of unrequited love
• Why did he take his arm away from John’s shoulders when Tessa said 'I would of liked to have gone further’
• Why did Sherlock lie on the floor with his arse in the air
• Why did Sherlock refer to the night as a 'wasted opportunity’
• Why did Sherlock ramble about John’s cooking and jumpers in the middle of the speech
• Why did Sherlock tell a room full of women in his mind palace 'not you’ one by one but then pointed at John and said 'it’s always you. John Watson, you keep me right’
• Why did John touch Sherlock on the back when he saw him with Janine
• Why do we see Sherlock give a vow to always be there for John but not see John and 'Mary’ give their wedding vows
• Why did Sherlock teach John how to dance
• Why did Sherlock and John look at each other… The way they did on the dance floor
• Why did John and 'Mary’ act worried, annoyed, angry and panicked to the news of Mary being pregnant
• Why did Sherlock leave the wedding early
• Why did John’s war nightmares come back after not seeing Sherlock in a month
• Why did Sherlock go back to drugs after not seeing John in a month
• Why did John dream about Sherlock
• Why did John dress like and act like Sherlock
• Why are the first glimpses of John and 'Mary’’s married life of them arguing
• Why did Sherlock move John’s chair
• Why did John act… They way he did when he saw Janine come out of Sherlock’s bedroom
• Why did his jaw clench when he heard her getting into the bath
• Why was John so focused on Sherlock and Janine’s 'relationship’ when Sherlock was giving him important case info
• Why did he look so disgusted when they kissed
• Why did Sherlock kiss Janine so… Badly
• Why did John look so heartbroken when Sherlock 'proposed’ to Janine
• Why did 'Mary’ shoot Sherlock
• Why did Sherlock try to go to the John section of his mind palace when mind palace!Mycroft told him to find something to calm him down
• Why did mind palace!'Mary’ shoot Sherlock in her wedding dress when Sherlock went to the John section of his mind palace
• Why did Sherlock restart his own heart when mind palace!Moriarty said 'John Watson is definitely in danger’
• Why did Sherlock never sleep with Janine
• Why did Janine say 'I know what kind of man you are’
• What kind of man is Sherlock
• Why did Sherlock escape hospital while bleeding internally in order to move John’s chair back
• Why did Sherlock and 'Mary’ keep linking John’s romantic preferences to danger to both of them
• Why did Sherlock say 'because you chose her’
• Why did John say 'always your way’
• Why did John’s 'apology’ to 'Mary’ seem so stoic
• Why did John leave his unconscious drugged pregnant wife to go off with Sherlock
• Why did Magnussen say 'but look how you care about John Watson’
• Why did Sherlock look so hurt when he was forced to watch Magnussen flicking John’s face and threatening him
• Why did Sherlock shoot Magnussen
• Why did Sherlock get everyone else to leave the Tarmac
• Why did Sherlock say 'there’s something I’ve meant to say always but then never have’
• What did he actually mean to say (Because it clearly wasn’t 'Sherlock is actually a girls name’)
• Why did he say that he thinks the name 'Sherlock Watson’ could work
• Why was the first image in Sherlock’s drug induced Victorian case solving mind palace simulation John’s eyes
• Why was Sherlock so angry at a woman being in his sitting room
• Why did he refer to himself as John’s 'unsavoury companion of dubious morals’
• Why did he play John and 'Mary’’s waltz in his violin while they argued
• Why did Molly call Sherlock John’s daddy
• Why did he talk to John when John had moved out of Baker Street months ago
• Why did the maid point out the problems in John and 'Mary’’s marriage
• Why did Sherlock say that he and John were 'together’ in sign language
• Why did John say 'two old friends chewing the fat… Man to man’ so awkwardly
• Why did Sherlock say that the fairer sex was John’s department
• Why did mind palace!John question Sherlock about his sexual experience
• Why did he show jealousy of Irene Adler
• Why did he ask him why Sherlock needs to be alone
• Why did Sherlock keep referring to ghosts and the ghosts of his past etc
• Why was mind palace!Moriarty so… sexual
• Why did Sherlock deliberately overdose before the tarmac
• Why was he reading the story of how they met on John’s blog
• Why did Mycroft say 'do you really think anyone’s believing you?’ After Sherlock said he was reading it because he’s 'so much cleverer’ through John’s eyes
• Why was real John and mind palace!John so angry at Sherlock about the drugs
• Why did he say that he’s 'happy to play the fool’ for Sherlock and 'make him look clever’
• Why did 'I thought that I was losing you. I thought perhaps we were neglecting each other’ 'well you were the one who moved out’ 'I was talking to Mary’ happen
• Why were phrases such as 'the heart of the conspiracy’ and 'they are right, and we are wrong’ and 'the women we have disparaged and ignored’ used
• Why did Sherlock say that John’s 'always right’
• Why did John save Sherlock from Moriarty at the Reichenbach Falls
• Why did Sherlock say that John is 'pretty damn smart’
• Why did Moriarty say 'why don’t you two just elope for god’s sake?’
• Why did 'actually, would you mind?’ 'Not at all’ happen straight after this
• Why did John kick Moriarty (Sherlock’s weakness) off the top of the waterfall
• Why did Sherlock throw his deerstalker (which represents his heterosexual public image) off the top of the waterfall
• Why did Sherlock look so happy falling this time
• Why did he smile so softly at John when he woke up
• Why did Victorian!Sherlock say 'perhaps such things could come to pass’
• Why did Victorian!Sherlock say that he’s 'a man out of his time’

How to price your commissions

1. Set a monthly target.

How much do you want to earn in a month? Lets say you want to earn £400. Base this on your bills and living expenses, things you’re saving up for, etc.

That means each week you want to earn roughly £100.

(monthly target) / (four weeks) = [Weekly Target]
£400 / 4 = £100

2. Determine how much time you are going to devote to commissions per week

For this example, lets go with 20 hours!

Also you’ll want to figure out how many hours per day that is so you don’t overwork yourself. There are 5 working days in a week, so thats four hours per day.

You don’t have to follow this exactly, but it’s good to know so you know when to stop and call it a day.

I suggest between 18-30 hours a week, and no more than 40.

(hours per week) / (5 days) = [Daily Hours]
20hrs / 5 = 4hrs

3. Calculate your hourly rate

To earn £100 in 20 hours, you need to earn £5 an hour.

NOTE: the numbers chosen are for the sake of an example, you should not be working below the minimum wage.

(weekly rate) / (number of hours) = [Hourly Rate]
£100 / 20hrs = £5

4. Calculate how long you spend working on a piece.

this includes time spent researching, anything like getting used to a character’s design to finding references is labour that the commissioner is paying for, not just the final piece!

If you’re a digital artist, you can use Cash Clock to help with this!

it will track how long you are focused on windows you choose, and stop counting if you’re idle for a set amount of time. It’ll also do the next step for you.
[http://www.online-stopwatch.com/download-stopwatch/]

for this example lets say you spent roughly two hours researching, doing practice sketches, etc., and then 6 hours on the final piece.

5. Calculate your price quote

(hourly rate) x (time spent) = [price per commission]

(monthly target) / (price per commission) = [number of commissions]

for our example this is £5 x 8 hours = £40 per commission.
to reach the goal of £400 a month thats 10 commissions a month.

Do this for each type of commission you offer! Lets say a sketch takes you 2 hours of research + 3 hours of drawing. That’s £25 a piece (16 sketches)

Tips:

- when you finish timing yourself working, add on an extra hour so you have some buffer time to polish and fix things.
You’re likely to be spending longer on your paid work, so account for that!

- You ever notice how your first few doodles aren’t as good as what you draw after you’ve scrapped a few?

Keep that momentum, when you’ve finished sketching a piece, even if it’s not a sketch commission stop and continue on to sketch a different commission.

When you’ve finished sketching, do this again with the next stage in your process like flats or inking.

This is a more cost effective way of working - working in batches like this is commonly used in comics to maintain consistency between pages!

- don’t be afraid to ask for tips! 

Include a link to https://ko-fi.com/ or https://paypal.me on your commissions page. Some people might not be able to commission you, but they might still have some money to spare!

Are you a deer autistic, a cat autistic or a mouse autistic?

@autism-spectrum-deer and I were having a bit of fun and joking about Autistic animals, and we ended up coming up with enough ideas for a Tag Yourself post, so here it is!

Deer Autistic:

  • skips a lot instead of walking
  • tends to flee (leave the room) when overstimulated
  • introverted and timid
  • naive and guillable
  • prefers bland/plain food
  • loves to tactile stim
  • 50% anxiety 50% passion

Cat Autistic:

  • stubborn
  • rigid routines
  • only a few food issues
  • likes walking barefoot
  • more of an ambivert
  • pressure stimming is their favourite way to stim
  • 20% sass 30% executive dysfunction 50% adorableness

Mouse Autistic:

  • likely to go non-verbal and panicky when overloaded
  • always cold
  • appears physically weak
  • creative and good at thinking outside the box
  • really likes food in general
  • chews on everything
  • 40% hunger 60% energy
on “bad art” blogs

i remember during my 2008-2011 deviantart stint i had a follower who was a few years younger than me (11-13, somewhere in that range) who i was also following. they drew ocs and fanart, usually traditionally with pencil and pencil crayon.

once during this time, i was searching for a certain fandom’s fanart through google images (just clicking through to save images i liked for Truly Terrible Windows Movie Maker Slideshows, you know the type), and i came across a “bad fanart” blog for that fandom in the image results. morbidly curious (and looking to selfishly boost my own ego, like an asshole), i clicked it, and scrolled through.

eventually, i found a piece of that follower’s fanart on that blog, and i… immediately started crying. i felt sick, and my hands were shaking as if it was my art on there and not just art from someone i kind-of knew, because i couldn’t stop imagining how they would feel if they stumbled across this blog and found that the art that they had just worked on for fun and were probably pretty happy with at the time had been put up there for people to laugh at. for people like me to look at to feel better about themselves for a short period of time.

i messaged them on anonymous (because i was scared, again selfishly, of them finding and posting my art on there too, though my previous tumblr and my old deviantart username were different at that time iirc) to take it down, and they did, but i was still so incredibly, horribly upset.

because sure, they took that follower of mine’s art down at “a friend’s request” (as i described it in the message), but i couldn’t stop thinking about all the other artwork on that blog. i couldn’t stop thinking about all the other friends and acquaintances of artists who jarringly found the art of someone they knew on a blog specifically designed to ridicule its contents, and more than anything else, i couldn’t stop thinking about the artists of the pieces themselves who might have been unlucky enough to have been linked or maybe just found the repost of their own work by chance.

i cannot emphasize enough how ugly and mean-spirited those “bad art” blogs (for often young, non-professional, hobbyist artists) truly are. i hope that if you run one of those blogs, or even if you simply follow them for entertainment, you seriously reconsider doing so, and remember that there’s an artist out there who had to find out that something they were proud or and had fun doing is out there being mocked somewhere else.