long post

Since posts don’t have a character limit I can write ‘I love Phil Lester’ 500 times and I won’t be stopped

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Important Things to Remember about Van Hohenheim:

  • He was born as a slave and manipulated into being involved in the genocide of his own race, then forced to live with the burden of having an immortal body filled with the crying souls of the thousands of people who had died.
  • He devoted at least a couple of centuries conversing with over 500,000 souls, getting to know each and every one of them, befriending them, and cooperating with them.
  • Hohenheim did not leave his children alone. He left them in the (more than capable) hands of Trisha, where he knew they would be raised well. He trusted that Trisha would be able to explain his absence to Ed & Al without revealing the truth about his body. He couldn’t have anticipated her death, and as he was travelling the entire country he had no way of keeping in contact with Trisha to check that she and their sons were doing ok (this is assuming the Elrics didn’t have a telephone).
  • Hohenheim had difficulty interacting with people, even his own family. He would probably have a very hard time writing letters back home, or talking to Trisha on the phone. He more than likely thought it best to keep his distance 100% until he could return home for fear of ruining any of his relationships with his family.
  • Hohenheim was immortal and had already lived for hundreds of years. A year or two probably wouldn’t have seemed like a long time to somebody with such a huge lifespan. Hohenheim likely still pictured his sons as young children, even after 10 years of not seeing them.
  • When Hohenheim returned to Resembool he expected to be greeted by the love of his life and his two young boys standing at the doorway to his family home. Instead he found a pile of burnt rubble, Trisha’s grave, Edward’s automail, and Alphonse’s empty body.
  • He completely blamed himself for Ed and Al’s attempt at human transmutation and subsequent injuries. He understood that they were lonely, grieving children and in his eyes the fault was all down to him and - taboo or not - the brothers had not done anything wrong.
  • Despite being the most powerful character in the FMA universe, Hohenheim was a pacifist and did not fight or injure a single person in the whole series.
  • He always put everyone else before himself.
  • The things which made him happiest in the whole world were all to do with his children. Alphonse trusting him, Ed and Al helping him on the promised day, Ed calling him Dad for the first time, getting to shake Al’s hand after recovering his body… his whole life revolved around his sons as soon as he met up with them again. He was willing to sacrifice himself for Ed and Al’s sake.
  • He died happy because he was so proud of Ed and Al and he knew that they had made incredible friends who would look after them for the rest of their lives.
  • Without him everyone would be dead.
  • All he wanted was a normal life.
  • Van Hohenheim was not a bad person.
  • Van Hohenheim was not a bad father.

(Bonus):

  • He is romantically cheesy as hell
  • He wears glasses just so he looks slightly different to Father
  • He used to fly into an Ed-like rage whenever anyone called him unintelligent
  • The first thing he said to Alphonse after reuniting with him was, “My vintage armor!!”
  • One of the first things he said to Edward after reuniting with him was, “we have the same hairstyle”.

thedaredevilwearsprada asked:

Thank you so much for that psa about Civil War. I'm so tired of seeing this fandom treating Steve as The Most Perfect Person On Earth and Tony as the antichrist.

I know. But they do kind of have a point. I mean…

Remember when Steve found out Shield was doing bad things behind his back and hurting innocent people so he said “No. we’re not doing this anymore.” ?

Or that time when Steve sacrificed himself to save a lot of people even though he would likely die?

Or that time Steve thought Bucky was dead, or would be dead if he didn’t do anything about it…

so he makes a retrospectively not brilliant decision to try and save him…

but it ends up working out in the end anyway?

So yeah Steve is pretty perf- OH WAIT I’M SORRY DID I USE THE WRONG IMAGES???

Yes, I’m Autistic

It should not be my responsibility as an autistic person to constantly explain that yes, I’m autistic.

Once, I dated a girl. She told me, shortly after my diagnosis, that she didn’t want to know about autism at all. In her words, though she always pretended she didn’t say this, to know I had autism would “ruin me”.

Once, I dated another girl. I mentioned autism exactly five times around her. Trust me, I’m autistic, I counted. But she said that was too much. That I shouldn’t talk about it any more. That I should “just be me, not autistic”.

Once, I dated a third girl. I don’t think I’m exclusively into girls, for the record, though I did think that for a while, it just happens that everybody in these anecdotes is a girl. Regardless- she once asked me, while we lay in bed looking at the ceiling upon which she had lovingly hand-painted a Lovegood-esque mural, “are you sure you’re autistic and not just a bit… Broken?”.

And now, years later, I don’t date very often because frankly it’s exhausting and approximately three and a half people in the entire world are attracted to me anyway, but after a long hiatus from talking in-depth about autism on Tumblr I decided I shouldn’t have to be quiet about it any more. I shouldn’t have to think “oh, I’d better not mention I’m autistic in case somebody’s a douche about it” because it’s part of my life, it’s part of who I am, and if people are willingly signing up to an experience which involves seeing my personal thoughts then they should be prepared to learn the fuck about autism.

But guess what happens.

I post “I’m autistic” and people say “Don’t say that unless you’re autistic”.

I post “Autism makes me feel this certain way” and people say “Don’t assume you have autism, are you diagnosed?”.

I post “No literally I am autistic and was diagnosed about five years ago” and people say “I am not autistic but I met an autistic person once and are you REALLY sure you’re autistic?”.

So to repeat my original point: It should not be my responsibility as an autistic person to constantly explain that yes, I’m autistic.

It seems as though people will not be satisfied until I personally mail each and every individual who once read The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time a copy of my diagnosis forms. Failing that, I apparently should at least scrawl “YES I REALLY HAVE AUTISM” on my forehead in blue felt tip pen so everybody can be satisfied as soon as they meet me.

It seems as though people will stop at nothing to harass and police somebody who mentions in passing that they have autism, because all the ~enlightened experts~ in the world apparently don’t realise that maybe it isn’t a good idea to make an autistic person constantly explain autism.

I just want to clarify that some of them have apologised. Some of the people who sent me messages apologised, and I’m cool with them. They made the assumptions but they apologised.

Not all of them though. Especially not the three girls I spoke about once dating. Especially not one of them in particular who would, in fact, intentionally cause me to have public meltdowns so she could act like the big caring neurotypical hero for dealing with my pesky old autism while simultaneously never ever wanting me to use the fucking word.

Honestly, I’ve been calmer about this than I should have been. Even now, people will tell me I was too angry, and that I should have expressed my feelings calmly, because they’re subconsciously ableist and view an autistic person’s anger as scary and their emotions in general as weird and exaggerated whereas they’d never tell somebody without autism to be as calm as I’m expected to be. It will happen, even while I’m saying it should happen.

It shouldn’t be my job to calmly explain the entire history of my autistic life five times a week. I am not an audiobook of the Curious Incident.

Although, if you saw the stage production- wasn’t it amazing? The set was the best thing I’ve ever seen and they did such a good job of adapting the story for the stage which is so hard to do.

What You Can't Imagine

by Ari Bach, author (and director) of Valhalla

The year is 2020, or so. The state of cinema is mediocre. The reign of Marvel has ended as their cinematic universe came to a spectacular close with the final Avengers film. Avatar, the one with blue aliens, made a resurgence but is now in the $1 Blu-ray bins. Disney’s Star Wars franchise is burning hot but the new films aren’t so well received as the originals or even the prequels. All in all, the grandeur that Hollywood once held is long, long gone.

Few people on tumblr today know what it was like in the middle of the 20th century. People didn’t go to theaters to see shallow 3D action flicks made 80% of computer generated imagery. They went to palaces. Palaces with bigger screens than most of us have seen in our lifetimes. Screens that make what calls itself IMAX these days look minuscule by comparison. They were so wide you could look to your sides and still see the movie. They were so bright and showed such epic cinema, Cleopatra, 2001, Apocalypse Now- That going to a movie was an event. Not a bigger screen with the same resolution as your home TV but an event more akin to a concert or- Well, the truth is we don’t have anything like seeing an epic classic movie at one of the great movie palaces.

2020. Only a few years from now. That fact blog has been going on for years about the Valhalla movie and the over time you watched the bragging turn from “Read my novel” to “Fund my movie Kickstarter” to “Production begins today” to “The theater is breaking ground tomorrow” to an ongoing spamming of the words “Thank you all!” And finally, to a list of showtimes.

You gave a couple bucks to the Kickstarter in 2017 because you read the book in 2015 and thought it was pretty damn cool. Cool enough you wanted to see the movie. And that’s your Kickstarter perk, tickets to the premiere.

The premiere- Is in the middle of the Rocky Mountains. The middle of nowhere. It’s there because that’s where they built the theater. Valhalla can only play in one theater at first. That theater is built in the Rockies for the same reason Wagner built his opera theater in Bayreuth- So you had to make a pilgrimage to see it. In ancient times, and in some religions today, you can’t worship in your closet. You have to make a journey, both literal and spiritual to meet your god. You had to once for cinema too, because cinema was as a god, but like I said, those days are long long gone.

You head to the mountains for the premiere, said by some to be the big event of the decade. By others, the most absurd movie premiere in history because the film can only be shown on one screen. When you get to that screen you see why. It’s not in a movie theater. It’s in a colossal domed building set into the rock. Surrounded by an incomparable sight- The crowds are dressed up and the lines are long but that’s no different from any midnight show. What’s different is that everyone around you made this movie happen. You did too, if only for a few bucks. But the effect is tangible: You are all united in what you’ve done and what you’ve come to see come to fruition. And with that ominous dome against the mountain you start to wonder just what odd creature you’ve unleashed.

Inside there’s food. Not popcorn- Gourmet food. …And also maybe some popcorn. But that’s the last thing on your mind. Because you’re in a lobby unlike any theater you’ve ever set foot in. It’s more like a castle or gothic cathedral. It’s eerily like Hogwarts, truth be told. And within, all the lines are headed into a single room. You expect a movie screen. You were wrong.

On a steep column of luxury seats you see only the night sky over your head. The distant stars. Growing cloud cover. But no screen.

All are seated. The clouds have blocked out the stars and the sky is dead black. A spotlight comes on and a man thanks you for making the movie possible. He says there will be a Q&A with the writer/director after the show, which will begin after an overture. Applause as he leaves. The lights go down and you’re left with the black sky overhead. Only that wasn’t the sky. That was a 5,000ft dome screen.

When the music begins, you see the planet Earth looming overhead, like satellite photos at night but you’re seeing it full sized. So big your brain can barely comprehend it. This is not a 3D movie. This is an immersive reality. This is floating in space hearing music from the firmament. Music so powerful before so vast a planet that you can’t physically stop the word “Whoa” from escaping your mouth.

The movie, if you can call it that, is even more profound in its experience. You knew the book but you didn’t know what the author had in mind. You didn’t expect to sit across the table from Violet MacRae, and you didn’t expect to join her in person for her journey to the North, to Space, to the core of herself.

For hours you’re assaulted with violence that cuts into you making your heart beat at a painful rate. You’re graced with visions of ravines and worldscapes- The moon, the sea, the desert, cities of buildings that reach miles high and you’re floating through it all so high and so fast that your fingers have ripped sweaty holes in the new upholstery on the armrests.

What you experience will bring you to tears. There’s no question about that. When a human being is subjected to the experience of an immersive tale of Valhalla’s intensity, there is no issue of strength or cynicism. This isn’t a movie you can get bored by or dislike or wait to be over. This isn’t a midnight premiere. This is the dawn of a new era in cinema and only as the credits roll do you realize that when you bought that book in 2015 you were playing a role in its birth. You did this. And that’s why your eyes are watering.

From the moment you started reading the first chapter, from the moment you selected the eBook or the paperback, you were playing a role in this cinematic rebirth of spectacle and incomparable power.

Have you ever felt anything like it? Think back over your life. Was there any moment when you were part of something so extreme, so intense, so overwhelming that you lost your breath? I’ve been to political rallies and I’ve been to air shows and I’ve been to IMAX premieres but never once have I stood in awe the way they did in 1968. Never once have I been made to felt the static tingle of euphoria wash over me at the sight of something new, something I’ve never seen before, something I simply could not imagine.

So I made something that would.

In 2020 you’ll see it too, as I’ve seen it, designed it in my mind and on paper and out in novel form. You can read it early. I wholeheartedly recommend that you do, because 5 years is a long time to wait to become part of a revolution like this. There is no question of whether this will happen. There’s the question of when, 2019, 2021, 2025, who knows. There’s the question of who, you or someone else. I’m writing this now in the hopes that you’ll be one of the first, one of the original readers who experienced the first book before the third came out. Only one month left.

That’s not hipster cred. That’s being part of a new world. The people who have read and loved Valhalla, only a couple thousand right now, are in on a big secret. They know what’s coming better than the words above can express. They’re ready to see cinema shattered and reborn. They’re ready to see a story that’s never been told. One that right now, you cannot imagine.

But you don’t have to imagine. I wrote it down so you can experience it early, so you don’t have to wait and wonder what it’s like to be part of something so transcendent, so revolutionary, so intense.

Valhalla by Ari Bach is available anywhere books are sold. You can read a chunk of it online for free. Then I’ll see you in 2020 at the premiere.

carver “by all means, lead on” hawke

carver “if you have a problem with my brother you have a problem with me” hawke

carver “if you need me, i’m here” hawke

carver “i’m going, we won’t last the year without this expedition” hawke

carver “i think…i just wanted to help” hawke

carver “not a link back, but how to go forward. that’s what i was to him” hawke

carver “as far as we get, they’re still gone. i’m tired of losing things” hawke

carver “i think i just wanted to help” hawke

carver “and i won’t thank you by doing nothing while you start a war” hawke

carver “you’re the only family i have left” hawke

carver “it feels right to be by your side again” hawke

carver “i’m proud to call you brother. that’s gone unsaid too long” hawke

carver “in war, victory, champion, and whatever else may come” hawke

carver “and whatever else may come” hawke