“Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
“You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
“What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
“I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
“If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
“What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
“I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
“I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
“You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
“I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
“What is this, a concert for ants???”
“I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
“When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
“The wolves eat tonight.”
“Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
"When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
“Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
“Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
“How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
“I think I misplaced my right hand”
“I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
“Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
“Have your eyes always been that colour?”
“I’m going to fight the sun!”
“You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
“I’m not into that kinda thing.”
“Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
“I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
“Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
“Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
“What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
“What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
“Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
“Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
“This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
“Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
“ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
“Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
“Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
“Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
“Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
“Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
“Wait. You’re aroused?”
“Why would that surprise you?”
“It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
“okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
“I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
“I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
"Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
“how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
“…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
“For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
“Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
“Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
“_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
“What the heck happened while I was at the store?
"What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
“Despreate times call for cows.”
“Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
“You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
“Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
“Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
“Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
“I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
“I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
“I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
“Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
“So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
“dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
“Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
“What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
“PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
“PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
“What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
“Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
“You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
“Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
“Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
“So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
“Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
“Tell me why, exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
“Look, I’m not a liar, alright? And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me. So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now. And maybe a million dollars.”
“Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
“Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
“Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
“Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
“Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
“This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
“So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
“I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
“Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
“Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
“I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
“Every time you speak I literally die a little”
“One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”
“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)
Saiko: Geez… men, amirite? They talk smack, but shove their face into a pair of big boobs and everything’s great.
Meanwhile: you can see it’s a Valentine’s Day chapter. Hsiao’s crush on Saiko is #confirmed since Hsiao likes people who are naturally great at something. Saiko’s genius lies in kagune-morphing. Remember what Eto had said to Kanae about kagune being limited by one’s imagination? Apparently Saiko doesn’t have this problem at all.
It’s actually unclear whether Saiko loves Urie romantically or not; I would assume she meant it that way, since she referenced men and boobs like a second later. We’ll see.
V’s dialogue at the end is interesting.
V1: So the White Suits are really Kaneki’s people? I got to admit, Furuta is quite a clever brat.
V2: Where is Kaneki Ken going?
V1: To the lab, probably.
V2: Is this about “Rize”?It’s a highly confidential matter. We cannot allow this information to get out to any organization.
If it’s about the clones, you’re a bit late. Wait, is that Nico. Is everyone a goddamn Washuu in this manga.
So has anyone talked about Dustin’s reaction to Eleven’s curly hair? No? Not even about the possibility that he might start linking his arm through El’s, walking everywhere with her and wrapping his arm proudly around her shoulders when introducing her to people as his long-lost twin (“Can’t you tell? Look at our hair!”)? All to make her smile? No? Just me then?
can you please explain the pope dennis thing? i have no idea where it came from or whats going on ???
you know what i’m actually going to try my best here okay
so a bunch of my friends are obsessed with actor/transmasc icon robert sean leonard, and a few months back, when the young pope was airing, there was a night of impassioned shitposting during which they created Being Pope Leonard, a fictional netflix show in which robert sean leonard is the long-lost twin brother of the pope, and the pope goes missing, and so robert has to go over to the vatican to stand in for the pope while they try to find the real pope. he brings along his best friend lesbian bernadette peters, who goes undercover as a nun and leaves behind her long-suffering girlfriend johanna. once at the vatican, robert sean leonard falls in love with a cardinal named steven. gay hijinks ensue and after a three-season arc, robert sean leonard and steven retire to the italian countryside and eat tomatoes like apples.
so tonight i was like, “macdennis being pope leonard crossover fanfiction,” and mutated the story into like, an au where dennis is a successful juilliard-trained broadway actor, and he discovers that the long-lost third reynold triplet donnie is the pope, and donnie goes missing, so he moves to vatican city to stand in for pope donnie, with dee in tow (who is posing as a nun, and leaving her girlfriend charlie behind in the united states). while at the vatican dennis falls in love with His Eminence Ronald Cardinal McDonald, Archbishop Emeritus of the Church of Ireland. charlie eventually joins the gang in vatican city where she goes on a solo quest to navigate the vatican sewers and hunt down and kill the Queen Spider. after accomplishing this feat, charlie is inducted into the swiss guard. dennis uses his authority as pope to alter the rules of catholicism and endorse gay marriage and remove the requirement that priests have to be celibate. then he invites mac to the papal suite and they go to town.
i hope that was sufficient to explain the pope dennis thing but there’s a lot here that just defies explanation
EDIT: seph @roofbeams would like me to add “u only left out one thing which is that before rsl has to be spirited away to rome to impersonate his brother he’s a successful musical theatre actor playing judas in jesus christ superstar on broadway”
i am still reeling from reading that number. 3,000 of you guys follow me. that’s insane. i love each and every one of you a BUNCH and i hope you never forget that. i decided to do a little follow forever to celebrate this milestone. thank you all so much!
ultimate, ultimate darlings:
@alexanderhamllton - okay, if you don’t follow this girl, you are severely missing out. ren is both the creator of this lovely banner she made (!!! have u seen the cute lil sun??? um) and the source of so many lovely gifsets that our fandom is blessed to have. i am always honoured to call her my long lost twin sister.
@womenarethesequel- andie is quite literally a lighthouse in a storm. this girl offers me endless mountains of support and enthusiasm, i honestly don’t know where i’d be without her. what a precious thing!
@itsquietuptwon - wow, alright, lela?? is like the moon. she’s not always visible to us mere mortals, but when she is, it is stunning to see. her fics are so cute, and she spreads so much light and positivity. much love, petite poussin!
@butlinislin - rosie, rosie! if there’s anyone to go to when you’re needing a smile on your face, it’s this girl. she has nothing but good things to say, and is always considerate and easy-going. thank you for always having such faith in me.
@protecting-my-legacy - my god, mackie is one of the funniest people i know. she has this wonderful, enigmatic humour that is unlike anyone i have ever seen! i adore her and her ability to make me laugh and smile.
and now, the incredible blogs that make my dash such a great place! favourites are bolded, but that isn’t to say i don’t adore every one of you.
Or, that one AU in which Grindelwald erased Graves’ memories and dumped him in Europe, leaving him alone to rebuild his life from scratch. Everyone believes him dead. Newt and Credence run into him in France by accident.
staying in Paris for a couple of days, trying to find the wizard Newt was
searching for. Another supposed expert when it came to magical beasts. Newt
absolutely wanted to talk with him about the Beast of the Gévaudan, and other legendary
creatures he’d heard originated from France.
staying at a Hotel in separate rooms, a cheap but nice place to be with
everything they needed. America was far behind, now. It had been two years
since the debacle with the Obscurus in New York, and a year and 9 months since
Newt Scamander found Credence residing in his suitcase, occupying the
freezing landscape in his Obscurus form.
Credence with him, refusing to tell anyone about his discovery, and offered to
teach Credence magic. With Newt at his side, Credence had grown. He’d learned
to raise his head higher when he talked, had learned to be more confident when
he expressed his opinions, had learned to say what he liked and disliked and
most of all, he’d learned to control the dark force within him and now managed
to do actual magic. Sure, there was
still a lot to accomplish yet, but Credence was a far cry from what he’d been a
few years ago. He’d let his hair grow as well, getting rid once and for all of
the horrible haircut Mary Lou gave him. It was still short but it curled around
a bit, giving his face a gentleness he thought didn’t resemble him.