long dong silver


(Fullview in case Tumblr eats the quality like usual.)

So yeah I’ve been playing with a fic idea wherein Silver has a mishap with the Fountain of Youth, and suddenly Flint and Vane find themselves unexpected parents to a rambunctious 3 year old who w a i l s if they leave his sight.

I may try and write out some snippets, although lord knows I don’t need to start writing any more fics .__.

If I do more it’ll be under my Black Sails tag (’Captain Dong’… don’t ask) or the tag for this specific idea will be ‘Gardiens DArgent’.

You know, on the one hand, I 1000% respect and admire Madi’s willingness to fight and die for her people’s freedom.Like yassss girl, show them redcoats and whoever else that you ain’t scared to do what needs to be done.

On the other hand, I’m like gurl, please, be like ya daddy and serve the cause the way he did with ya man Long Dong John Silver and fuck shit up together cause you dying is a big HELL NO for me and the other folks who love you.

Throughout my life women have told me that I have a larger than ordinary third leg, and although I never really though it to be true, tonight that has been confirmed. I have inherited a meat popsicle so big I could pitch a tent with it. Today is a good day.

50 Shades of Boinging

I’ve decided to do a little editing to 50 Shades of Grey, to try to salvage something tolerable out of it. Here is my first contribution.

Original text: “Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my panties off and throws them on the floor. Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free. Holy cow! … He kneels up and pulls a condom onto his considerable length. Oh no … Will it? How?” (116)

New Better Text: “Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my taco tunic off and throws them on the floor. Pulling off his banana hammock, his bologna pony springs free. Holy flag poley, Batman! … He kneels up and pulls a rubber ranch wrangler onto his Long-dong Silver. Oh no … Will it fit in my how now brown cow?” (116 ¾)