long distance gf

4

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

2

I was stressing as I fell asleep the other night… Saying what if you don’t love me once i transition? What if it changes how I smell and you don’t like that change? What if my body is weird? What if you hate my voice? I fell asleep and woke up to these messages from my girl. Her support means more than words can say, she gives me strength. 💕

The sound of her voice saying she loves me when she’s on the verge of falling asleep drives me nuts. It makes my bones feel warm and my insides glow. My heart races and everything in the world feels alright. Everything that I can’t do feels doable because she loves me. This amazing, beautiful fucking girl loves me. I’m constantly asking myself how I got so lucky. Why do I deserve her? How could this have happened? I found the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. I say that honestly. She’s my person, my best friend, my rock. My everything. The universe knew what it was doing when it made her. Put her through hell and make her a thousand miles away from me. But she is so heavenly. She is everything that I want to be, she is everything that I didn’t know I loved. She loves Frank Sinatra and she doesn’t chase her liquor. Her music taste turns me on and she has the sweetest smile that melts my heart. I would do anything for this girl. I would die for her, I’m living for her. I’m in love. For real. And it’s so much better than the movies. So much better than love songs. Because I get to love her. I will love her forever.

You know what really just pisses me off?
When he doesn’t reply to my text messages.
I know I sound crazy right now and I know it shouldn’t piss me off.
But it’d be nice if he was busy or not in the mood to talk, to just tell me so rather than ignoring me.
And when he doesn’t reply to me (after replying to me constantly for an hour or so) I get this stupid insecure feeling that someone else is holding his attention, some other girl.
Why am I so insecure?
Why do I get this stupid feeling, every time he doesn’t reply to me, that he’s going to leave me?
Fuck. This.
Do you know what it means to belong to someone? It means even if I walk away and get lost, Iife will always find a way for me to come back to you. I’m not your property, but I do belong to you.
— 

I.V.

Things I want to say to a preborn love.