long bars

anonymous asked:

I bet his poor PA , Meg has to plunder the vending machine every day and bring him 23 different kind of snack, yellow and coke flavoured gummy bears, she has to pick out every other color cuz Jack don't like them, 4 canned energy drink, a half meter long chocolate bar , a Happy Meal with toys and a big packet of salted peanut that he can use for practicing target-shooting on his employees

LBR the most unrealistic part of this scenario is the assertion that Jack doesn’t use live ammunition on his employees.

When you had known your significant other for a little under two years, you both found out they had a fatal illness and would be dead within a year. You got married immediately, determined to affirm your relationship even in the face of hardship. And just today, you got news from the doctors: due to recent developments, your spouse won’t die in the next couple of months, but will in fact live a long, full life (barring anything else). Where does your relationship go from there? 

ok but Pan di Stelle is the Oreo of Italy

it’s mainly a cookie

but you can find it as a snack too

or a Mooncake

or as a whole cake

or an ice-cream

or cereal

or a cereal bar

these are all actual products and God only knows how many more there are that I didn’t know existed, Pan di Stelle is amazing

3

I blame @klanced for makin me fall for Thace/3G.
Now, shipping him with Coran
that’s all on me
Though cheers for the insp klanced

reasons to go watch the bletchley circle right now

the bletchley circle is a 2012 british miniseries and it is fucking rad if you love stories about code cracking and lady friendships and murder mysteries

first of all, the premise: four women who worked as bletchley park codebreakers during wwii are trying to live civilian lives 9 years later—until one catches the trail of a london serial killer.

it has:

  • badass ladies
  • ladies protecting ladies
  • younger ladies older ladies all badass ladies
  • fucking intelligent ladies who used to crack foreign military codes and no one has a clue because they were sworn to secrecy
  • ladies battling not only a serial killer but also 1950s sexism
  • seriously when one goes to the police with a wicked smart lead the police are like “that’s nice but i have to get back to my men”
  • so they go off on their own
  • and one’s husband thinks they’re gathered for book club and he’s like “i bet you’re really gossiping” and they’re like “ha ha you got us” and he leaves and they’re like “okay pull up the railway maps let’s catch a fucking serial killer”
  • turns the serial killer killing women trope on its side by having women be the ones fighting to stop him while men are pretty much useless
  • so much suspense you’ll probably shit yourself
  • gorgeous title sequence, cinematography, production design

look at these ladies

ladies getting shit done

seriously, give it a shot. the first season’s only 3 eps so it’s like indulging in an epic 3-hour movie. i know it’s on netflix, feel free to add/let me know where else you can find it.

[warnings for attempted rape/referenced rape and domestic violence]

Heartbeat | 2

“You’ve always stayed far away from the Kingsnakes, the coldblooded gang that runs the dark heart of your city. That is until your life collides with the intriguing and dangerous Jung Hoseok.”

pairing: hoseok x reader
word count: 13.5k
genre: gang!au, smut

part one | two | three | four

warnings: dom!Hoseok, demeaning names, oral, public sex



You knee bounced up and down nervously. An hour had passed and still no reply from Hoseok. You bit back a sigh, regretting sending that ‘What are you doing tonight?’ message to him. You felt like an idiot, worse yet, a desperate idiot.

You cringed, remembering the hope that had sprung in your chest as you boldly fired off that text to Hoseok. You had honestly expected him to reply back straight away, conveying some kind of interest, wanting you as badly as you wanted him. Instead, you had nothing but stifling silence.

“Are you liking the film?” Taehyung leaned over and whispered, his eyes were full of concern and you gave him a weak smile in return. “It’s just a little bit scary,” You lied. He nodded and offered you a warm smile. “I’ll protect you,” He said reassuringly. Your phone vibrated in your pocket and you felt your heart leap in your chest. “Thanks Tae,” You responded faintly, staring straight at the TV until Taehyung glanced away from you, focusing on the movie again. 

Struggling to stay calm, you glanced down surreptitiously at your phone, feeling your heart race in your chest. There was a message notification, from a string of numbers- someone who wasn’t in your contacts. 

It was him. Hoseok.

Keep reading

hey. hey listen. edward nygma being absolutely amazing at magic tricks and card tricks. the whole illusion of it all has a good appeal, and leaves people guessing about how he did it. he’s amazing at those really stealthy slight of hand ones and the over the top rubix cube tricks. a lot of the time he saves it for impressing people when hes particularly attention seeking.

just picture ed dazzling a bunch of people by the bar w series of card tricks and other tricks at the iceburg lounge with a shit eating smirk. best part about it? free drinks in exchange for an attempt at finding out how he did it

(he never tells. that’d ruin the riddle)

okay everyone, it’s been like 10 hours since i watched the latest episodes of Teen Wolf and I’m still really emotional about it so I’m making this post at the risk of looking like a loser BUT

I am really, truly, sad to see this show end

Teen Wolf Fandom was the first fandom I’d ever been involved in. It’s the first time I’ve connected so deeply with characters and had the opportunity to share those feelings with people who felt similarly. The only other universe I’ve felt so connected to was Harry Potter, but I was never part of the larger fandom community for that experience, instead it was just me and my best friend sitting in the gymnasium on the first day of sixth grade wishing we had gotten our Hogwarts letters. 

It’s true, there are some many part of the TW fandom that make me regret this whole thing. The fandom and the show itself can be range anywhere from annoying to infuriating at times, but with that came friendships with amazing people that I would never have without Teen Wolf. 

So shout out to @sleepy-skittles, my salt mate, and @derekslaura for watching the new episodes together and yelling about them, and for torturing each other with every single rarepair and/or worst case scenario possible. It’s been so great to have friends in my corner still excited about this show. (And also salty about the same things I am lbr).

I would probably never have made friends with anyone without @queerlyalex (ILY), who has led me to not only making friends with Kat and Ellis, but also @clarz, @rohruh, @kristsune, @littlerosetrove, @mermaid-reyes, @queerlylonnie@hadeshadaheart, @stripeysocksandoxfords , @notenoughgatorade , @raleighrambles , @authorkurikuri , @somnambulipstick @50-points-for-ravenclaw, @bladeofsolstheim , @bleep0bleep and  @veronicabunch .Thank you to @anamelesstraveler for always encouraging me to write, and always being ready to yell about Derek Hale/Hoech, and to @lena221b for the appreciation of fine ass men and cows, of course. Shout out to @blackfeatheredthing, @athenaohwise1 , @tinderbox210 and the rest of my derek x lydia fans (maybe one day I’ll write them again…. hopefully). 

@brandibees you were literally one of my first mutuals, and one of the very first people I ever spoke to on this site, and i appreciate you so much, okay? 

There’s so many more wonderful people I’ve become friends with, like @acountrygirlsfun, @fandom-madnessess, @banshee-cheekbones, @lozenger8, @elfysparkles88, @sterydia, @carpelucem, @tatesraekens, @shelleyshennigs, @clarissamorgentern, @petals42, @haleandlightwood, @ti-re-elintes, @burritomistress, @sunshineandtigers, @whatthehellisahoechlin, @shakendust, @isaaclydia, @braedens, @draeden, @stilesbansheequeen, @stilesanity, @bistiles @fighthaus and @aussietonkin (I’m sure I’m forgetting people, but just know I love you all)

So long story short - thank you Teen Wolf, for giving me the opportunity to interact with so many amazing people, and for creating a universe and cast of character that I love so much.

I will miss you.

(ps - if anyone wants to join a gchat for the last episode on sunday, let me know)

so i had a dghda marathon today and i realised…. dirk has no jackets left? he lost his green one in the electric rhino fiasco, his blue one is too badly damaged to be wearable, and i’m gonna go and assume that his yellow one was taken away from him in blackwing, because he’s a) not wearing it and b) it seems like the kind of thing blackwing would do tbh

Industrial Piercing.

I got mine done 6 weeks ago on Sunday so I thought I would throw some tips out there for people because I always see people asking in that tag.

1. Does it hurt to get done? No, not at all. I barely felt it, it felt a little tight while they put the bar in but the actual piercing was a 3 out of 10.

2. What’s the proper way to clean it? I soaked it for 10 minutes every day for the first 4 weeks. I never slacked once. Now i have purchased the h2Ocean spray. I use that all the time but I still soak it at least 2-3 times a week. Qtips are your friends. Also, do soak it. Please. The spray doesn’t always clean everything.

3. The worst time was about 2 weeks after. It got infected and throbbed for a day but I repeat, soaking clears it right up.

4. I did dye my hair for the first time last week. My stylist kept hitting it, that hurt. It’s fine but soak it after. I’ll keep telling you to soak it cause it works.

5. It hurts like a mother fucking bitch when you bang it. Six weeks later and it still hurts. Like holy fuck. I never remember it’s there until I stupidly tuck my hair behind my ear.

6. How long before you can sleep on your side? I started to now, six weeks later. I have a really soft pillow though and I think that’s key. The softer the better.

7. The bar slides. I panicked because it slid down and the piercer gave me a long bar to allow for swelling. Well I panicked because what if I hit it and it swells? There’s no room. Doesn’t matter, the minute it drops means it’s healing. I haven’t had issues with it touching my ear at all. Just SOAK IT IF IT GETS INFECTED.

8. Also tea tree oil works well to get rid of infections. I’ve only had to use it once. Don’t use it on a regular basis.

9. If you have always wondered about getting it done but are scared of taking care of it, just get it done. The cleaning isn’t so bad, trust me. You get used to it awful quick and it looks cute as fck.

If anyone else has any other questions just let me know.

*** I use a pretty simple soak mixture: 1 cup water and ¼ tsp non iodized salt (kosher works). I boil the water, add the salt, wait for it to cool, stir it up and soak it. I use a measuring cup and lay on the floor…. It’s worked the best for me with minimal spillage.
A-Z NSFW: Xiumin

Originally posted by baekhyuntella

Cr.

Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare 
Xiu’s a very neat guy, he has a freaking tiny vacuum for his bed, c’mon. He doesn’t like mess, so he’s pretty keen on quickly wiping you down with a warm rag or dragging you to the shower and stripping the bed sheets. He works out like crazy, so he knows the importance of taking care of yourself, so he takes great care with making sure you’re not hurt, hydrated, clean, and even is pretty into giving you a tiny massage with sweet smelling lotion. 

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 
Obviously Xiu’s pretty proud of his abs and muscles, they really come in handy when he’s in the mood and you don’t really have a surface to do it on…On the flip side, he gets really sappy, he loves your eyes. He may have the muscles in the relationship, but you have the power to render him a mush of compliance with just a glance at him, use your power well.

C = Cum 
Again, Xiumin’s pretty clean, especially his bed, he doesn’t like making a mess so I imagine he almost always cums on like your tummy or thighs, somewhere that’s easy to clean up and isn’t going to make a mess on his bed.

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 
He hasn’t brought it up yet, and honestly he’s surprised you haven’t noticed. but he lowhighkey likes his hair pulled. He’s been thinking of a way to bring that to light…

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
He’s the oldest, and I don’t buy into his whole cute and innocent act when he turns around and gets on stage and does that shit. Xiumin certainly knows what to do, there’s no doubt about that.

F = Favorite position
He gives me the ‘from behind’ kind of vibe. He can easily reach any part of your body, curl his fingers in your hair, hold you still or pull you back to meet his thrusts easily. Plus wall sex is 10x easier from behind, no one needs to accidentally be dropped.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Xiu’s like a secret goof. He puts on this act, then Baekhyun tries to touch him and it all falls apart lmao. I can see it starting out serious, and then someone can’t get their sock off and it all falling apart and you’re a mess of giggles.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
That boys titties are always out, so thankfully I get a good shot of his tummy. I think he grooms occasionally. He’s, again, a clean dude, and sometimes there’s a happy trail and sometimes not, so I don’t think he keeps up with trimming day to day, but he does keep it neat.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
I think Xiumin would be one of the best boyfriends from EXO, I think he’s really into taking care of you and showing as well as telling how much he cares for you, so I’m positive it travels into the bedroom. I think the showy part of his romance is more for your non-sexual relationship, and the talking is for the sexual part of your relationship. He’s a talker in the bedroom, he’s got his face hidden in your neck, and panting sweet nothings against your skin all the way through sex.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)
Once again, he’s a really clean guy. I don’t think he jerks off much, because of the mess. The only place Xiu does it, is in the bathroom, in the shower. That way there’s not mess to clean up and he can just relax afterwards.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
He really likes hearing you. Xiumin loves hearing you breathless, whining for his tongue, his fingers, his cock, anything, he’ll give you, you just need to say it and he’ll comply. He’s more on the dominant side of actions in the bedroom, but he loves you whimpering for him and telling him what you want him to do to you.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
Bathtub is a prime location, nice lock, warm bath, some bath bombs, and no clean up. Plus you’re all soft and smooth and smell good afterwards too. Just the bed is a close second, but Xiu really likes the bath.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Back to the Kink, he loves you begging for him. Even if it’s just you and the boys out for dinner, and you start tugging on his arm and whining that you’re tired and want to go back to the dorm, he’s already scheming his way to make sure the boys stay gone long enough he can have you a tired mushy mess in bed again. Something about your voice whining for him, just really gets him going.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Xiu’s kind of shy and a bit insecure(although I think he’s a lot more confident in himself now yay), he can’t even fathom the idea of someone trying to take you away from him, threesomes or some voyeur stuff is 100% off the table.  

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Xiumin? Aka the king of singing? And rapping? And basically anything a human can possibly do? He may not talk much, but that’s cuz his tongue is busy doing something else….69 is more his speed though, he likes pleasure between you two to be matched.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Xiumin’s normally a mix, he’s kind of on the slower side, not really slow but he’s not quick, not particularly rough, but hard.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
A few times quickies happen, they’re usually in the morning when you’ve woken up and Xiu has like a half hour to get his ass moving and dressed and to his schedule. Quickies are just morning sex, to be honest. He’s not against them, plus he knows when he gets home later at night you’ll have more proper sex.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
He’s the oldest, so I don’t really think he cares about getting caught doing anything in the dorm. Outside the dorm is off limits, public sex isn’t a go. But as for anything you can do inside the house, he’s open to discussing and trying if it sounds fun or actually pleasurable. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
He’s pretty big on foreplay to make up for how ‘normal’ sex is with him? Like sex with his is pretty average, the sex itself spans about 10 minutes, and two rounds in a row is a stretch for him. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Xiumin is tip toeing on the line of being a full blown dom, and the boys know better than to touch Xiumin’s stuff so he’s not worried about anyone seeing his secret stash. He’s got various handcuffs and silk clothes to tie your hands together or to the bed, and a few vibrators for foreplay.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
I feel like Xiumin is more impatient than the others, so teasing you is more like teasing him, and he’s not here for it. He’s big on foreplay, but full blown teasing, he normally passes on that stepped.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Xiumin’s pretty quiet, but that’s just because he’s sort of shy. In the bedroom, with you, he’s in his element. He doesn’t hold back, and the mofo is a goddamn gifted singer and rapper, he’s got a voice. He’s pretty loud, to be honest, groan and moans and he’s very vocal, I feel bad for any members that are near, no one needs to hear that.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Shower sex isn’t safe, kids, you and Xiu learned that the hard way. One day of work for you, and an intense schedule for Xiu, you were both in the mood but no one had the strength to go through stripping the bed afterwards, so shower sex was proposed. Long story short, a bar of soap was knocked off the shelf, someone slipped, and a trip to the ER was needed. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Nana’s bias lmaoNana…this was a 20 minute convo for her to just give me an answer…According to my ‘dick master’ grandma, Xiumin’s dick is a bit on the shorter side, but he’s ‘thick like a one of those good big German sausages’. I hate my grandma 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Xiumin’s climbing in the years, so I think his hormones have certainly settled down, so he’s not just a horny teenage boy anymore. I think his sex drive is pretty stable, few times a week you two have sex, or if he knows he’s going away for a while he tries to squeeze in a few extra rounds to make up for the time you’ll lose. But besides that, he’s a pretty average sex drive man.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
After the work he puts in with you, Xiu’s exhausted and ready for a tap out nap. I don’t think he falls asleep quickly, but he’s flopped down, demanding cuddles, and settling down for sleep.