Things I feel like should be added to Minecraft.

  1. Worms. For fishing, you can put them on hooks and they act as a lure for fish. They can be found randomly from digging up dirt blocks. You can also eat them. They fill half of one food thingy.
  2. Goats. Another milk source besides cows. Also very cute.
  3. Cooked Egg. From cooking an egg in a furnace.
  4. Scrambled Eggs. 1 cooked egg in a crafting table. 1 cooked egg = 1 scrambled eggs.
  5. Oatmeal. Made from 3 wheat (top row), 1 milk (3rd column, middle row), and one bowl (3rd column, bottom row).
  6. Toast. From cooking bread in a furnace.
  7. Bacon. Putting a cooked porkchop in the crafting table makes 3 pieces of bacon.
  8. Breakfast. Any (cooked) egg ingredient, oatmeal, toast and bacon put into a crafting table. Fills food bar.
  9. Omelette. 3 cooked eggs in a crafting table.
  10. Different Dog Textures. When you tame a wolf, they into change domesticated dog colors, like how when you tame cats.
  11. More Cat Noises. When cats run away from you, they hiss. A nice little scare when you think there might be a creeper behind you.
  12. Killing a Tamed Animal. When you kill a tamed animal, you get an achievement called ‘You Monster’
  13. Various Bugs. You can find bugs all over Minecraft! They can be eaten, cooked, and made into stew. You need to make a net to catch butterflies. To do that you need, 5 string and 2 sticks.
  14. Panda Pet. You can tame a panda with bamboo. They’re slow but you can put a saddle on them and ride them. Act like horses rather than dogs or cats. Kinda just do their own thing.
  15. Koalas. You can now find Koalas in Jungle Biomes. They can be found crawling on trees and on the ground. They drop leather and leaves. They also eat the leaves off of trees.
  16. More Bears! Brown bears and black bears spawn in oak and birch forests.
  17. Desert Flowers. There’s flowers everywhere else, why not the desert to?
  18. Desert Animals. There should be more animals in the Desert in general. Camels, Wildcats, Rattlesnakes, Vultures, and Lizards would be good options.
  19. Speaking of Reptiles. You can tame Lizards but not Rattlesnakes, Rattlesnakes are hostile mobs and will temporarily poison you.
  20. The Sky is the Limit! This is an achievement you get from building up the Minecraft’s height limit (256 blocks).
  21. Herder/Leader of the Herd. An achievement for leading 2 or more of the same animals at a time.
  22. Now We’re Cooking! An achievement you get when you cook food for the first time.
  23. The Bake a Bread achievement should be changed to ‘Let’s Get This Bread’ just because it would be funny.
  24. Not What It’s Made For. Achievement for killing a mob with any item or tool BUT a sword.
  25. Hot Cocoa. A bucket of milk and Cocoa beans will make Hot Cocoa!
  26. Why Are There No Deer In Minecraft? Deer. You can also ride them with a saddle. They eat grass and spawn in Oak, Birch and Spruce biomes.
  27. Animal Bed. You can make an animal bed out of wool! Making an animal bed also gives you an option to send your pet home, meaning they will return to wherever the bed has been placed.
  28. Graveyards. Old grave yards will rarely spawn throughout your world. Breaking graves gets you loot, but spawns a Ghost. Phantoms also spawn here at night. You get the achievement ‘Disrespecting the Dead’. Random graves also spawn throughout the world.
  29. Ghosts. See through, undead mobs who spawn when you break a gravestone. They do one heart of damage with each hit. They make ghostly moaning and groaning sounds. They don’t have legs, they fade out down from their torso.

Things I Wish I Knew Going into College

Listen up mother fuckers. Here’s the truth about college. No sugar coating, none of that cutesy shit. Here’s what I wish I knew before I stepped foot on campus.

  • When people say communal bathrooms aren’t that bad what they actually mean is people will leave their dirty underwear in the showers, used tampons, clean their dishes in the bathroom sink, and leave their explosive diarrhea everywhere. If you really don’t think you need shower shoes, think again.
  • If you know you are not strong in a particular subject, PLEAAASE seek help. Find a tutor or really good friends that are willing to help you because when you get a D in math because you didn’t seek help even though you knew you fucking sucked at math you’ll regret it because that stupid ass shit tanked your GPA.
  • You will have professors and TAs (teaching assistants) that give absolutely no fucks about actually teaching. If this ends up being the case, use your resources, learn to teach yourself, Quizlet is your friend.
  • People might seem so nice in the first week, but I promise you, when welcome week is over and there’s no more free food, they won’t ever look your way again. The ones who stick with you after that, cherish them.
  • The grind is real. Don’t expect to do the minimum and pass my friend. Because you will fail. I promise you. Sometimes you gotta stay up until 3AM because you’ve got two papers due, a speech to write, and math homework that you didn’t realize was actually due at 11:59pm the previous night. So if you’re going to college just to say you went to college, leave immediately.
  • With that said, you might realize that college isn’t even for you. And that’s okay. Just remember the thousands of dollars you’ve spent and make your decisions accordingly. But know that college is not the only way to be successful or make money.  There are lots of sugar daddies out there.
  • You might change your major 2392897 times. It’s honestly whatever. You’ll figure it out and it will be fine.
  • I know you’ve already heard this one but I swear it’s fucking true. You will not want to drag your dead body out of bed to go to a fucking 8am class. I don’t care if you’re a morning person. Just don’t do it. Trust me. Trust anybody who says this. 
  • Free stuff is the best stuff.
  • Sometimes you just need to sit down and have a glass of wine. Or see a therapist. Whichever works for you.
  • You don’t have to drink or do drugs, but you might feel pressured to. Do whatever you want but make sure you are always safe, smart, and with people you can trust and know will take care of you after you’ve had that 12th drink and can’t even stand up straight.
  • No one really cares what you wear, how you look or what you do because we’re all too busy trying to figure out how to do 20 hours of homework, 6 hours of studying AND fit in 8 hours of sleep. 
  • Sometimes lectures are so pointless that you could teach yourself in 30 mins rather than sit for 2 hrs in a lecture. I’m not saying skip lectures, but I am saying that the more time you have, the more sleep you can get.
  • You’re funny af if you actually think you’re gonna get a full 8hrs of sleep. Try again.
  • College is your chance to reinvent yourself. Be very careful who you choose to become. Just don’t be that person who corrects the professor or types really fucking loud on their macbook during every fucking lecture.
  • Listen, you can really do whatever you want to do. You wanna be hoe? Do it. You wanna party Thursday through Saturday? Do it. Weed Wednesday? Go for it. But you sure as hell better show your ass to class and watch that GPA.
  • Nobody likes a snitch. Mind ya business.
  • Don’t let anybody make you feel like you do not deserve to be there. Because they will try you and you can still get a ticket for fighting. Except this time you’ll be charged for assault. 
  • Don’t wear your favorite shoes to a party. Don’t wear open toes shoes to a party. The floors of a frat house or a house party are filthy. Don’t bring a purse, always use the buddy system, watch out for creeps cause they be out there.
  • Nobody cares who you were in high school, no one wants to know your ACT score or whether you were valedictorian. Shut up. Y’all got into the same damn college. No one cares.
  • If you’re going to bullshit something, do it well.
  • Do the readings because when your ass gets called on during discussion because your TA wants to know what you think about Mondrian’s take on contemporary art and you don’t know, you gonna look stupid as hell.
  • You might have a really cool roommate, or you might have a roommate that has sex with her boyfriend on your bed. There’s no in-between.
  • Bring A LOT of storage for your dorm.
  • If you see students napping in weird places, crying in the bathroom, or smoking weed on their dorm roof-top, it be like that sometimes.
  • Find a really good place to study. DO NOT study in your room because you associate your room with sleep so that’s what you’ll want to do instead of study If you study in your room.
  • Freshman 15 ain’t real.
  • SAFE SEX. THESE HOES DIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • College sucks sometimes, but put your mental health first. Sometimes you gotta skip class to take care of yourself and that is perfectly okay. You do not have to justify yourself or your decisions to anyone.

Good luck. I hope you survive. But if you don’t, like I said, there are always sugar daddies out there. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk y’all. 

Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It is for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough

Morph is about Tyler’s relationship with God and Science

I’m sure most of you may have caught onto this by now, but I needed to type it out since it’s on my mind. Morph has been a favorite of mine because of the vocabulary Tyler uses (i.e. blind belief, ones and zeroes, and scientific miracle). I found that after listening to Morph, I interpreted the track as Tyler sharing with the audience his struggle when it comes to accepting both theological and scientific answers into his life.

He begins the song by talking about how “‘if’ and ‘when’ he dies” and how it is a major conflict for him. Since Tyler identifies as a Christian, the theological answer is that Christ sacrificed Himself on the cross and died for the sin of man and that Tyler will be given the gift of eternal life once he dies. However, Tyler is notorious for questioning his faith and has done it numerous times throughout his musical career (i.e. Implicit Demand for Proof’s entirety, begging to be saved in Save, Anathema and Blasphemy’s theological questioning, and many more). 

“For above is blind belief” is one option that backs the theological way of looking at death and why we suffer from mental illness. Tyler can choose to believe ‘blindly’ in Christ which would lead to eternal salvation and peace of mind. Or, he can choose another alternative: “And under is sword to sleeve”. I am not quite sure what it means, but I can guess that it is about self-harm (i.e. this also relates to the repetition of “going low” and “high road” found in Bandito). The last alternative, “around is scientific miracle” shows me Tyler’s other option: believe in science and contemporary ideas that can teach him how to manage his struggles or cure him of them altogether (a miracle).

The chorus is really spectacular to me: “I’ll morph to someone else, a defense mechanism mode.” I interpreted this as a solution of sorts that he has come up with. Rather than believing solely in Scripture or solely in scholarly text/insight, Tyler bounces back and forth between the two creating a ‘defense mechanism’ for peace of mind and to help him to not ‘go under/low’. 

As for the “above” option Tyler mentions it again, “For if and when we go above the question still remains: are we still in love and is it possible we feel the same?” I found that this particular line relates directly back to Prove Me Wrong, which I believe he released when he was either seventeen or eighteen on No Phun Intended. Many people in the clique believe that to be a romantic love song (which is totally valid) but I have always believed it to be a song about spiritual baptism. The word “love” appears only in Tyler’s theological songs and does not ever once appear in his songs for his wife, Jenna. This is an important factor in this theory because I found the question of Morph’s “are we still in love and is it possible we feel the same?” is a decade long follow up to Prove Me Wrong’s “I don’t believe love’s for me” (i.e. ‘I don’t believe (His) love’s for me’).

Tyler then continues by saying “And that’s when going under starts to take my wonder” which tells me that he still yearns for God even if he believes in science as well and until he finds a more concrete solution, he will continue to Morph in terms of spirituality and irreligious belief to keep himself afloat.

*While filming Giving The People What They Want*

Phil: Is it okay if I swear?

Dan: Yes Phil, you can swear

Phil: F

Dan: Yes, go on

Phil: I’m nervous

Dan: It’s okay

Dan: I believe in you

Dan: Take your time

Phil: Hnnnnngg I think I’m ready now…

Phil: Fu…

Phil: Fuc

Phil: fuck.

Phil: Fuck

Phil: Fuck!

Phil: Fuck!

Phil: FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

Dan: Calm down buddy

Phil: Sorry…

Phil, to himself: *Don’t lose your confidence so fast never give up your dreams*

Phil, to himself: You know what? You’re right! FUCK!