X-Squad Group Chat


  • started the chat
  • “Da Queen” w/ a crown emoji
  • never starts drama
  • ends drama
  • with tears
  • never her tears
  • plans things
  • Mom Friend™
  • knows All


  • claims he started the chat
  • didn’t
  • “Da King”, originally w/ a crown emoji
  • took 15 seconds for it to change to a poop emoji
  • always stressed
  • couple pictures w/ Jean
  • stays in his lane
  • mostly
  • “that’s my girlfriend!!!”


  • ????????
  • just showed up in the chat 1 day
  • no one knows who invited her
  • Kurt knows
  • Kurt invited her
  • starts roasting ppl hourly
  • rlly good at it
  • “Jubi” w/ 15+ firework emojis
  • adds more firework emojis randomly
  • no one has noticed


  • “Sanic”
  • gets roasted 24/7
  • agrees w/ most of it
  • changed Scott’s crown to a poop
  • puns
  • very Extra™


  • reads everything
  • never says anything
  • added a raincloud emoji after her name
  • she has a phone????????


  • squad child
  • always spared from roasts
  • pure
  • Peacemaker™
  • Someone: “Kurt’s lame!”  Squad: “da fuq u say”
  • sends pics of the squad
  • everyone’s ride
  • does his best
  • typos, but they forgive him

stressbiscuit  asked:

Kurt Wagner walking in on his crush saying "my superpower is actually sucking dick" jfc

this was so fun to write omg

kurt + “my superpower is actually sucking dick”

Kurt really has never had a real crush before — he’s just never really found a person that had ever made him feel a little weak at the knees, and tongue tied. That is, until you enrolled at Xavier’s. He’ll never forget the first time he saw you; he was in the middle of telling a story to Scott, when you walked by. He literally stopped mid-sentence, watching you with Jubilee. Scott immediately picked up on it, and ever since, has been trying to get Kurt to actually speak to you. (the first time he talked to you, he switched to German on accident and BAMF’d out of there when you looked a little confused.) And after a while, Scott enrolled Peter to help Kurt — and since then, he’d probably gotten more advice than a Cosmo magazine.

Tonight, Peter and Scott decided, is the night Kurt is going to have a normal conversation with you; after all, it is a party, that’s where lots of things can happen. (No, Kurt, don’t ask her if she likes pirates!)

So after raiding Kurts closet — only to find many Michael Jackson inspired clothes — Kurt is currently sporting Peter’s Rush shirt (I swear to God bro, don’t spill anything on it!) and a pair of Scott’s jeans, he’s pretty much a nervous wreck when they get there (and he hasn’t even seen you yet!)

“Dude, you’re gonna be okay,” Peter assures him, jokingly fixing Kurt’s fringe. “she’s not intimidating, whatsoever.”

“Yeah Kurt, just be yourself!” Scott adds, patting him on the back. “Now, let’s go find her. Jean said she’d be hanging out with the girls.”

“Wait, guys!” Kurt exclaims. “I don’t think I can do this!”

Peter rolls his eyes and grabs Kurts arm, and says,

“You practically undress her with her eyes every time she’s in the same vicinity as you, might as well actually talk to her!”

Scott chuckles as Kurt objects his statement, but immediately stops in his tracks when he sees you. And lord have mercy, do you look gorgeous. With a plastic cup in your hand and a beautiful dress on, Kurt’s heart pretty much leaps out of his chest. Peter and Scott are already snickering to each other over his reaction.

“Okay dude, here goes nothing!” Peter smirks, before announcing their arrival to everyone; attention turning towards the trio.

Your gaze immediately travels to Kurt’s, and you give him a little smile and wave. Beside you, you can hear Jubilee snicker.

“What are you laughing about?” You ask with a small smile, causing her to roll her eyes playfully.

“I’m telling you, the kid is head over heels for you!” Jubilee replies, nudging you with her elbow. “C’mon, look at him! He’s adorable.”

“He is, I’m not denying that!” You answer, taking a sip of your drink. “But he always makes excuses to leave whenever we talk.”

“That’s just because he’s scared!” She exclaims, like it’s obvious. “You know what? I got an idea.”

Before you’re able to ask, Jubilee dashes over to Peter, whispering something in his ear. Peter looks over at you and then at Kurt, a smirk growing on his face. Before you can interject, Peter is already gathering the girls and guys to go into the other room, whilst Scott pretty much shoves Kurt towards your direction — leaving the two of you alone in the living room.

“Well, we have some either pretty great, or pretty terrible friends,” you say with a laugh, as Kurt chuckles shyly. “how are you doing tonight, Kurt?”

“I’m… I’m doing great!” He says, trying to push away his nervousness. “and you?”

“I’m good! Better, now that you’re here.” You tell him, nudging him with your elbow. At your words, butterflies erupt in his stomach. He can already hear Scott and Peter making fun of him. “So, we’ve never actually talked before! What can you do? Jubilee tells me you got some sweet powers.”

“Well, I can teleport to anywhere I’ve been before,” he explains, nodding a ‘thank you’ as you hand him his own drink. “and I got my tail.” You both chuckle as it flows happily behind him. “What can you do?”

“My power isn’t even close to being cool as yours, but I can create duplicates of myself!” You explain, as Kurt smiles.

“No way, that can’t be your power, that’s awesome!” He tells you excitedly, taking a sip of his drink.

“Actually, you’re right! My superpower is actually sucking dick.” You joke, but at your words, Kurt actually chokes on his drink, spitting it out a little bit.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?!” You laugh, placing a hand on his shoulder, as he finally catches his breath. If he could blush, his cheeks would for sure be a deep shade of red. (It’s totally not because he’s thought about that late at night — certainly not.)

“Yeah, yeah!” He reassures. “Just… I just didn’t… think you’d say that!” He stutters, causing you to throw your head back in a laugh.

“I’m just going to blame that joke on the alcohol,” you chuckle, trying to catch your breath. “but yeah, I really can duplicate myself!”

“Thank the lord, because I have no idea how the other one could actually be a power!” Kurt replies with a smile.

“Believe me, there’s a way, Kurt!” You quip, throwing him a little wink.

Dear lord, Kurt thinks, this girl is going to be the death of me.

anonymous asked:

Thinking of Kurt's tail & sex & can you imagine being his s/o, sitting behind him in class while wearing a skirt. All of a sudden during a boring lecture or something you feel his tail drifting up your leg, going higher & higher... You'd gasp or something, and he would give you the most devilish grin over his shoulder.

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