Where the fuck is my boyfriend. I’ve been waiting since like 7th grade. You know what, I don’t even need a boyfriend. I would be satisfied with a boy saying that I’m cute or handsome and actually meaning it. Same for sex, as much as I would love to have some hot sweaty sex with someone it would just be nice to feel someone else’s body up against mines. Just to be up close on someone, invading their personal space and not having to move away and them wanting me to invade their space. It’s cold as fuck in this dorm and it would be nice to cuddle up next to someone and warm up from body heat. I would love to know what it feels like to close my eyes and kiss someone. To feel those butterflies and shit. Well, I’ve felt butterflies before but it’s always over a straight guy or a gay guy who wasn’t interested. I really hate the uninterested thing the most and every time I ask what’s wrong with me, I get a different answer. Some guys say I’m too fat, I’m black, they don’t like my hair, they don’t like the way I dress, I’m too loud, I have bad acne, I’m not masculine enough, I’m not black enough, and the list goes on and on. It sucks even more to know that my younger sister is out there fucking and being in relationships and shit and she can’t even come to her older brother for help. EVERYONE else around me is fucking and has a fucking boo or boy/girlfriend except me. Like I said, I would love to fuck and have a boyfriend but it would just be nice to be intimate with another guy and for him to actually like me. I’m really tempted to just hookup with someone on one of these sites or apps but I know they’ll want sex which is fine but I don’t think I can do it. I feel so lonely right now. Tumblr help. :(