When speaking to a POT earlier today, he asked what my allowance expectations were. I told him, he agreed, but added:
“I’m reluctant to hand that sort of money over in one go, so I’d like to do a PPM arrangement while we build trust.”
More often than not PPM is not going to be worth your time and is a tactic used by splenda and salt daddies alike.
Never the less I smiled sweetly and replied: “Of course - I’m happy to have platonic PPM dates while we get to know and trust each other.”
This is a great counter move; if he’s saying he doesn’t trust you enough to give you your allowance in full at the start of the month (which is understandable!), it’s unreasonable for him to expect you to trust him enough to be intimate with him.
He’ll either accept your terms or run to the hills, either way you haven’t lost anything.
Unfortunately there isn’t a magic potion that transforms you
into Aphrodite, nor is there a definitive set of qualities you need to succeed
in the bowl. However I’ve noticed a few common traits that almost all genuine
Sugar Daddies look out for.
Possibly the most important thing for a Sugar Baby to possess,
confidence is essential for every situation you encounter. This means you
should feel confident in everything from the way you look, to the way you walk
and the way you talk.
You don’t have to love everything about yourself, just be
aware of your best qualities and make sure you showcase them to your Daddy. Be
warned though, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance!
This doesn’t mean you need to be a super supple contortionist!
– It does mean that you need to get used to your Sugar Daddy’s schedule. There’s
a good chance that you are not the only commitment in this man’s life; he’s
likely juggling a high-flying career, friends and potentially has a family to
think about too.
With this in mind it’s not unheard of for plans to be made,
cancelled and rescheduled last minute; so the ability to be spontaneous whilst
maintaining your independence is a great skill to master. A Sugar Daddy doesn’t
want to hear you moan or whinge – if he’s genuine he’ll know he’s let you down
and will find a way to make it up to you!
Of course, it’s not unreasonable for you to have commitments
too; make sure your Sugar Daddy respects these and is aware of any boundaries
you may have.
Being attentive doesn’t mean you need to cater to your Sugar
Daddy’s every whim –whatever he might like to tell you! However a good Sugar
Baby quickly learns to assess what her Daddy needs from her. Some men are
lacking intimacy in their lives, others are searching for a companion or
confidant, and some just want to relive their youth or unwind after a long day
at the office.
Does your Sugar Daddy want a relationship or something more
casual? Does he want to be told he’s fantastic in bed or does he just want to
The sooner you can work out what your Sugar Daddy wants, and
whether that’s something you can realistically give him, the sooner you’ll
start seeing some serious sugar coming your way.
The chances are your Sugar Daddy has had to work hard to get
to where he is today; he’s not likely to want to share that success with a girl
who behaves like an entitled princess (unless that’s a fetish of his).
A common complaint I see from Sugar Daddies is that aspiring
Sugar Babes lack ambition or are only interested in materialistic things. So if
you’re looking to fund your education, dazzle him with your smarts; if you have
entrepreneurial flair, suggest a business idea, or simply show you’re
passionate about something more than Louis Vuitton and Louboutin’s.
dreams with your Daddy – you never know, he might be able to help them come
Girls, you know how frustrating it is when you’re talking to
a promising POT, you meet him, only to discover half of what he told you was
false… well, it turns out a lot of Sugar Babies are guilty of the same crime!
If you’ve never been horse riding, don’t say it’s a lifelong
interest; if you’ve never been to the ballet or opera, be honest about it; if
you’ve never ventured outside of the M25, don’t pretend you’ve been backpacking
around the world. You will be found out!
Never feel like you have to lie about yourself in order to
attract a ‘certain type’ of Sugar Daddy. Anyone who is genuine wants to hear
about you and what you’re interested in, not the ubiquitous activities that
pseudo ‘posh’ ‘rich’ people do.
That doesn’t mean you need to be totally honest when he asks
the inevitable: “Did I make you cum?” ;)
As you can see from these tips; there aren’t any special or mysterious qualities that Sugar Babies are blessed with but mere mortals can only dream of… almost anyone could become a Sugar Babe if they wanted it badly enough.
This tip is aimed at sugar babes who have a certain level of financial security to rely on without working in the sugar bowl.
Don’t ask your Sugar Daddy to reimburse every little thing! Remember you’re trying to come across as an independent woman that doesn’t *need* a man to live this luxurious lifestyle…
You’ve arrived at the bar early? Buy yourself a drink, better yet get one in for your Daddy too. This not only shows you’re mature and confident, but reassures front of house / bar staff that you’re not on the ‘look out’.
If you’re meeting him in the town / city you live in, there’s no need to ask him to pay your fare. Girl, you’re a grown woman, you should be able to afford an oyster card or a train ticket for a few stops down the line. (Of course he should pay if you’re travelling out of town)
Don’t ask him to pay for your weekly grocery shop at the local supermarket, this should be something you can cover yourself! However there’s nothing too wrong if he wants to take you to nice restaurants or foot the bill for your excursion to Fortnum and Mason’s.
The point is; if you expect him to pay for every little thing you do, he will start to lose interest. He will also see this as a form of control over you. In his eye’s you’d be lost without him - after all, you’re implying you can’t afford a train ticket or basic groceries…
Every sugar baby’s journey through the bowl is different; however
there are a few stages to becoming a sugar baby that nearly everyone will
experience. I’ve outlined some of these below:
1) Researcher baby
You’ve read a book, seen a documentary and reblogged more ‘how
to’ guides and tumblr tips than you can count. You feel inspired and have an
insatiable appetite for learning about this new found lifestyle.
The thing is no matter how much research you do, it will
never be enough. Each person you meet will be different and will come to the table
with a unique set of requirements and expectations for their arrangement.
Sooner or later you’re going to have to take the plunge; go
slow, be safe and be prepared to learn the hard way.
2) Naïve baby
The naïve optimist has done some research and made the
decision to dive into the dolce head first. They have set up a profile on a
site like Seeking Arrangement and feel overwhelmed by the amount of responses
Their zealous enthusiasm to get started often means they
sell themselves short and accept low ball offers. Common utterances from the naïve
optimist include; “£100 for a night of sex? – Count me in!” and “£1000 to meet
ten times a month? – OMG, sounds great!”
It won’t take long until these people become disillusioned
by the bowl and adopt a more practical approach.
3) There’s more to this than sex baby?
At some point every sugar will realise there’s a lot more to
the lifestyle than simply spreading your legs and moaning a bit.
The main difference between escorting and sugaring is that
escorting is primarily sex based whereas sugaring involves the entire relationship
experience for the time you spend together.
These men want to feel loved, desired and cared for. You’re
there for his convenience, his ultimate fantasy girlfriend; a confidant,
companion, masseuse, chef, therapist, stylist, secretary and of course lover; he
doesn’t want PMT and a gluten intolerance!
This can come as a bit of a shock to the system and is made
immeasurably harder if you don’t genuinely enjoy spending time with your daddy.
4) Burn out baby
The lifestyle is stressful! Don’t believe me? Think about it;
there’s the duplicity and lies you’re telling people, constantly maintaining and
cultivating your sugar persona and minimising any hint of reality, making time
to balance your sugar commitments as well as your everyday life, not to mention
dealing with all the flakes, fakes and time wasters that continually crop up.
There’s no such thing as an ‘off’ day, you’ve got to forget
your stresses and focus on your daddy and making him feel like a King; this can
be exceptionally draining if you’ve got other things on your mind.
There will come a point where it gets too much and you’ll burnt out. You’ll walk away from the bowl and vow you’ll never come back. I’ve
done it, and all the other sugar babes I know have reached that point too;
most of us have returned but not everyone…
5) The real deal baby
You’ve found an arrangement that works for you, life is sweet!
6) Nothing lasts forever baby
Sadly, nothing lasts forever, even the sweetest arrangements will end eventually. You’ll be left to decide whether you can face going through it all over again…
Brilliant news – your Sugar Daddy wants to take you shopping
for some new designer gear -but wait – how do you know which designers are
It’s a complete myth that every Sugar Baby dreams of
owning a fur stole and python skin handbag; there are plenty of Sugar Babies
that don’t support the fur trade or cosmetic testing on animals, many more are
concerned about environmental factors and the issue of child sweat shops.
With this in mind this article will provide you with a list
of cutting edge and luxury designers, who won’t put a blot on your conscious.
Stella McCartney – A lifelong vegetarian, Stella
McCartney doesn’t use any fur or leather in her designs.
Leanne Mai-ly Hilgart (Vaute Couture) – the former Ford
Model’s brand Vaute Couture (the v stands for vegan!) aims to create high-end
fashion that is vegan, created from recycled fibres and produced locally. The
brand is favoured by the likes of Emily Deschanel and Alicia Silverstone.
Vivienne Westwood – Doesn’t use real fur in any of her
Tommy Hilfiger – Stopped using real fur in 2007.
Calvin Klein – One of the early adopters of animal
friendly designs, Calvin Klein has opted for fake fur since 1994.
Shrimps – The zany London brand uses bright colours and
faux fur to create a bold statement. A coat will cost around £600
Huit - an ethical swimwear brand committed to
transporting goods by sea rather than air thus reducing
their carbon footprint. Celebrity fans include; Kate Moss, Keira Knightley and
Olsenhaus – Brainchild of Elizabeth Olsen, Olsenhouse creates
shoes that are animal product free. Shoes range from £100 - £250.
Beyond Skin – Brighton based company selling vegan
footwear. There’s a wide range of styles available. Prices start from £80 – £250.
Natalie Portman has also been spotted wearing them.
Noah – Italian vegan leather - sounds like a dream come
true! Noah offers a range of hand-made Italian shoes that are 100% vegan.
Prices start from £100 - £250.
Cult of Coquette – Vegan shoes that are made out of the
most environmentally friendly materials available. The brand states its
handmade shoes are for women who aren’t afraid to rock a heel.
Stella McCartney – A lifelong vegetarian, Stella
McCartney doesn’t use any fur or leather in her designs.
Matt & Nat – The name Matt & Nat stands for Mat(t)erial
and Nature, which is the ethos of the company. Patrons of the brand include
Charlize Theron and Natalie Portman.
Melie Bianco – An affordable, chic, animal friendly range
of handbags for every occasion; think Balenciaga, Celine and Miu Miu styles,
but without the cruelty.
Wilby – All products are animal friendly and the
brand is well known for being eco, and environmentally friendly. Prices Range
from £40 - £120.
Mirabelle - Worn by the likes of Kate Middleton, Mirabelle
makes handmade fair trade jewellery. Think pretty pendants at reasonable
Helen Moore –brightly coloured, patterned and innovative
designs. She creates faux-fur clutches, muffs, collars and scarves. One of
these fun accessories will cost £40 - £150.
Polly Wales - Polly uses vintage and rough jewels to
produce unique and imperfectly perfect rings, necklaces and earrings. Her designs use ethically sourced gems that shun the use of
child labour in diamond mines.
Please be aware that this guide is not exhaustive and is
subject to change at any time. If you’re in any doubt – it’s best to e-mail the
customer services department of the brand you are interested in and ask for their
policies and commitments to animal and human welfare.
I hope this guide was useful and you (or your Sugar
Daddy!) can enjoy shopping for some ethical high-end luxury!