digital dump: a new blog. 

My inability to reconcile my recent impulse to dive head first into a mire of pixels and  foreign glass with my analog heart has spawned this new blog. (“Foreign” not as in Japanese, as in “I’m not a Canon man, I’m a rangefinder/medium format/polaroid man.”) 

My grapples and dissonance have been chronicled on HOME  here and there. At the risk of being redundant I will only add that it is clear to me that digital has it’s place, I’m just not sure where that place is. In the digital age, when everything is scanned I can’t help but wonder if my ambivalence and that of others wouldn’t be mollified by the printing of digital images then scanned and re-uploaded. Part of what makes film film is film in an era in which most of our images our are digested in the context of blogs, pinterest, flickr, flacker, shitter, whacker, is the distance film creates. We are scanning objects and that scrim—sometimes dense like a print, other times barely detectable like a transparancy—creates a “realness” to the images and an therefore an authenticity. It also  feels  ”authentic” precisely because it is in fact less authentic; it  looks less like life and less like the screen on which we are viewing it.  Of course there are those who hand process their work, manipulate their images manually and this too gives the photo, if not itself, at least its backstory a sense of humanity.  I would argue however in non-virtual life, formerly known simply as “life,” one would often be hard pressed to differentiate an image that originated digitally and the nearly grainless images of large format film.  And so,  much of this “argument” exists within the virtual world and within ourselves wherein we wrestle with our own authenticity and identities as art makers. 

So, for now, for me, I know this: one shoots a fuckload more with a digital camera on hand and I am finding it difficult to justify clouding the fairly consistent nature of  my mother blog, which, though often prolific, moves at a trackable pace. I know also this: images are images are images. And though there is a certain amount of homogeny that I and others have managed to avoid by using different film stocks, cameras, and Polaroids, fundamentally I at least  am still moved by the source of these images—what my eye sees. LIfe.  When not trading one in for the next–as though I expect one of them to magically transform my ambivalence–I  have been enjoying these new  beautiful lenses lately. And furthermore and finally, I have been enjoying the essential technology that has always been used to capture a version of reality. Because that has simply not changed. These are the days of high tech camera obscuras, but that is in effect all they are. The contraptions that capture the light have changed but their fundamental technology really has not in over a thousand years.  And the human contraption behind them has and always will be (barring armageddon, alien invasions etc) that which unites all photo makers. And delineates them. 

This message has been brought to you by ocd cum inosmnia. 

meanderings on BEKs

Let me state right off the bat: do I believe Black Eyed Kids (BEKs) exist? No. Is it fun to hear all the stories and wonder on the possibility? Hells, yes.

So while I’m trying to find a video that’s not an hour long, here’s some links:

Ghost Theory’s breakdown on the phenomenon.

Mysterious Universe takes on the topic. (There’s also an archive of other articles.)

This was supposedly the first sighting of them, in Abilene, Texas.

John Kettler’s page seems teeming with hysterical, melodramatic accounts, but there’s a lot of information there.

And this is one of the best explanations for the phenomenon.

Tincture of Opium

Yes, another post about my health. Don’t like it? Well, then… I apologize. Scroll on past this, you caring human being, you.

So, the doctor suggests that I stop taking diphenoxylate HCI and replace it with a few drops of a new medication called Tincture of Opium. This will supposedly make the problem all but go away. However, I have a couple issues with the new medicine.

1.) it’s Opium 2.) Opium is one of the strongest narcotics in existence, and I worry that even if I just take a few drops it will cause vagaries of my perception that will bring about a euphoric-like result 3.) I worry about taking yet another narcotic to potentially grow dependent on 4.) did I mention it’s OPIUM?!

So, while it’s all but guaranteed to both help correct the issue and help alleviate some of my pain at the same time, I’m just a bit hesitant (as I think a reasonable person would be) to start taking it. Have any of my lovely followers had experience with this medication? Any recreational drug users among my followers who’d like to chime in?

I am interested in knowing as much as I can about this before I start a new medication (potentially for the rest of my life).

A penny for your thoughts? A dollar for your insights?

Horrible reaction to Lomotil

I fucking went bonkers. My gastroenterologist is a fucking idiot. You don’t give somebody with POTS a medication that fucks with the parasympathetic nervous system since my autonomic nervous system is already messed up. I literally asked him “This isn’t going to effect my POTS?” and he said no. YOU FUCKING WENT TO MEDICAL SCHOOL OMG.

Just wanna repost as I came across this random post coz I was in it. Haha :))
#missjaaamie #personal #event #activation #eventsmodelling

By @kristycharmaine “#wellness activity at Stellar.. #cervicalcancervaccine #filmshowing #freebies #betadine #kremils #lomotil #carefree #daktarin #listerine #bloodsugar #belownormal” via @PhotoRepost_app