lolololol he was such an idiot in this

anonymous asked:

RFA * V* Saeran overhearing their female s/o on the phone telling another boy she loves them but it's actually just one of the s/o's family members ?

hey it’s been like five years but I finally wrote it and I’m sorry I had no idea what to do for Baehee >.<

I love how they get progressively long as you go have fun reading


▧ Yoosung

·         You’re playing LOLOL together when suddenly you get a phone call, and pause the game while you answer

·         Yoosung’s doing some quick character customization while your conversation goes on, but he’s getting the feeling that you’re talking to another man

·         And someone close to your age, at that

·         He’s been working hard at controlling his jealousy, but it’s so difficult, especially now that you’re speaking such gentle words, your pretty eyes soft and twinkling

·         Who is it you’re talking to that would warrant such an expression? Such words that spoke of warmth and tender love?

·         Yeah so it was impossible for Yoosung to keep his switch off

·         Can you stab someone through the phone? How can I perform simple voodoo? became his newest google searches

·         “Take care of yourself, I’ll come see you soon, I love you!” you hang up with a wistful sigh.

·         “The old geezer went and fell down the stairs…again…honestly he needs to be more careful.”

·         “Old…geezer?” Yoosung asks tentatively, slowly putting his phone down

·         “Yeah, my grandfather went and broke up hip by tripping on a step. Luckily he didn’t fall a whole flight, but still, at his age….”

·         Yoosung discreetly closes his ‘Voodoo for Beginners’ tab and coughs lightly

·         “Right well, let’s continue our match, shall we? I’ll crush you! Ha-ha, I’m kidding?”

·         The battle begins once more, you having already forgotten about the phone call, but somewhere in Yoosung’s mind, he’s thinking about the web page he’d closed

·         Maybe it would be useful to look through

·         For future references…

▧ Zen

·         Y’all are rehearsing some lines

·         or taking selfies

·         or working out

·         or trying to summon Satan idk but your phone rings and you excuse yourself from your current activity  to answer it

·         lmao though imagine you actually summon Satan and he’s trying to take your soul or smthing but then you’re like ok hold up my dude I got a phone call the delivery guy might have gotten lost and Satan is just left standing there like ??? do I get food too or

·         anyways hi hello it’s your /actual/ father calling about the family reunion on Saturday

·         Zen’s sneaking glances your way because what’s with this sweet tone of yours

·         is i T A mE m Be R of Th eOpPOSi t E SE x????????

·         basically he’s trying to listen to the voice on the other end of the line but being sneaky about it

·         we all know that ‘subtlety’ is not part of Hyun Ryu’s vocabulary, let alone life skills

·         so he’s basally draped himself over you  like some sort of fallen tree trunk

·         im good at analogies alright

·         you’re trying to focus on the call but at the same time Zen what the flippity fuck are you doing you’re making me have to pee

·         he’s already suspicious but when you hang up with a cheery “love ya daddy!” Zen malfunctions and doesn’t know whether to cry or yell

·         “Who was that why do you love that person was it a guy wh-”

·         “Zen, chill that was my dad.”

·         :0

·         :000000

·         you can see him dying a bit inside because  oh no I got jealous over her F A THER??????

·         but then Zen is Suddenly Inspired 

·         “Hey,” he whispers in a sultry voice, his lips pressed against your ear, “how about you call me daddy too?”

▧ Jumin

·         contrary to popular belief, Jumin is actually cool with you talking to other dudes

·         as long as it’s strictly professional, that is

·         he’s never heard you talk to your family before, so he isn’t aware just how close you all are

·         the both of you are attending a meeting, and during the coffee break you receive a call

·         ‘Jongin’ is the caller’s name, which Jumin manages to catch a glimpse of flashing across your phone’s screen before you deftly answer the call

·         “Yeah? Hello!” you say,  before excusing yourself from the room

·         Jumin is left wondering whether he should follow you or just ignore it

·         but there’s just something about the delicate shift in your tone that puts him ill at ease

·         because you should only be speaking to him that way

·         side note I reallllllly want to see some yandere Jumin but not like weird prison guard Jumin but actual Yoosung level yandere

·         alas, the meeting starts again, yet you don’t return to the room

·         he hears you giggle occasionally from the hallway, but tries not to focus on it too much because the meeting is about the future of C&R’s cat projects and therefore of uttermost importance

·         needless to say, his mind is quite preoccupied

·         one of the chairmen asks him “What do you believe would be the total production cost for this particular plan?” 

·         Jumin answers with a distracted “Oh, no I rather do like red wine with my pasta.”

·         basically he’s really not himself what’s gotten into him he’s usually an unstoppable force in meetings but now???

-         the meeting is adjourned, and he rushes out the door

·         as soon as he spots you in he hallway, he’s marching straight towards you, reaching for your arm right when you say “Okay bye! I’ll see you tomorrow, love you!”

·         “What’s this about loving who now?” Jumin hisses, his hand closing lightly, but firmly, around your wrist

·         “It’s me telling a family member that I care about them?” you say, confused as to why he’s reacting in such a way

·         “You - what? family member?”

·         Yeah, that was my uncle. We usually go shopping together every few weeks, and we’re due to go again tomorrow.”

·         Jumin’s emotions quiet down in an instant, however his heart is still running rampant like a wild beast in his chest

·         he slides his fingers down to envelop your hand, and gently rests his forehead atop yours

·         “Please, my love, don’t scare my like that again, you are my one, my everything…”

·         you’re getting ready to whisper your own cheesy loving sentence, but he continues

·         “Also you should bring your uncle shopping in this building. We have over 200 different stores, and maybe he would be willing to lead our cat campaign-”

·         you poke his stomach

·         “You are not bringing my uncle into this cat thing…but if you want, you can tag along and come shopping with us.”

·         he agrees, which is a bad idea

·         cuz you and your uncle tag team him

·         and he ends up wearing some sort of cat/maid outfit that shows skin in just the right places

·         yeah but it’s a good buy

·         Jumin actually wears it around the penthouse

·         Driver Kim once saw him in it 

·         “The young master has rather particular interests….”

·         lowkey approves and wants one himself

▧ Saeyoung

·         mmmmmmkay well honestly he’s heard you say “I love you” to several people already, but he doesn’t get jealous because you’re always showering him with your affection

·         but he’s had one of his bad days, old emotions and thoughts and insecurities are already chasing each other in his mind

·         so it isn’t helping him much when he can just tell you’re talking to another boy

·         terrible thoughts swarm his head, and he cannot stop fretting about all the bad things that could possibly be happening

·         What if he hadn’t been looking enough into things?  What if he’s being played? Are you going around behind his back? Betraying him?

·         but for every one of these thoughts, he  lashes out at himself, thinking things along the lines of don’t I trust her? Do I really think she’s that bad a person? She’s given me all this love, would she really just abandom me like that?

·         Or maybe now I’m reading too much into things?

·         “Alright, bye Kyungsoo, I love you!”

·         He winces, not wanting to face you, afraid that the bile in his throat will lead him to say harsh things

·         “What’s wrong, Saeyoung?”

·         “Who…” he croaks, a faint pain etched across his face, “Who were you talking to?”

·         “Oh that? It was my brother!”

·         “You…your…ah.”

·         “Is something the matter?”

·         “No, I’m just a huge idiot is all.”

·         “Now tell me something I don’t know,” you say with a sly smile, wrapping your arms around his waist, “you might be the world’s biggest idiot, but at the very least, you’re my idiot.”

·         Saeyoung instinctively returns the embrace, holding you tight against his chest. “Likewise.”

▧ V

·         oh my hea RT lmao what heart haha I just roasted myself

·         y’all are just chillin’, looking through his pictures when you get a phone call

·         V is fine with you talking on the phone right beside him, so you answer right there

·         Heck, you could even be riding the shit out of him and he’d still be chill with you calling your friend

·         MC orders pizza while getting laid lolololol

·         He gets momentarily nervous, though, when he hears a deeper voice on the other end of the line

·         But V, he tells himself, don’t discriminate maybe it’s a girl with a deeper voice you never know

·         “Who is that?” V mouths, just to be safe

·         Oh, he’s just –” you start to say before you get cut off by the person you’re talking to

·         a b OY?!

·         “Okay! I love you!” you say before hanging up

·         V’s all ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

·         it takes him a moment to calm down, at which point he’s convinced himself that you’re moving on, which is fine, because he’s not good enough for you he wasn’t good enough for Rika you’ll be happier without him you–

·         “V you’re turning blue I don’t think you’re breathing.”

·         He inhales sharply and looks at you with tears in his eyes

·         it makes sense, he concludes, trying to hold back the waterworks

·         “You should have told me sooner,” he says softly

·         “Told you what?”

·         “That you’ve…found someone else.”

·         seriously V I thought jumped to conclusions too fast but you really take the cake

·         you just stare at him, then look at the phone in your hand, then back at V

·         whoops

·         “Sweetheart no that was my cousin!”

·         V just blanches

·         I am horrible how dare I get jealous so easily and I thought she was in love with another family member what am I –

·         “V if you stop breathing like that you’ll actually die.”

·         without a word, V reaches over to you and pulls you into his chest

·         there’s a strange elation sensation inside his body, and he realizes that he had unconsciously been so stressed, a knot of worry had formed in the pit of his stomach

·         his worry is replaced by a realization

·         the realization that

·         he’s not okay with you leaving him after all


▧ Saeran

·         He ain’t taking none of that shit

·         the moment he hears you say “Hi!” in such a sweet voice because MC you’re only supposed to talk like that with me h o w da re you, he practically launches himself at your phone and does a wicked somersault landing

·         Where did he go?

·         Surely not inside the kitchen cabinets

·         oh

·         but there he is

·         crouching between cereal boxes and jars of tomato sauce, just emanating dark waves of furious doom

·         They’re so tangible for a second you worry they might stain the walls

·         “She’s mine,” he hisses into the receiver, “and I’m not gonna let you lay a single hand on her.”

·         “Well…” the voice answers, “that’s fine and all but I’m her brother so we do occasionally hug sometimes.”

·         Saeran had already prepared a nasty comeback, but he wasn’t expecting the call to be from your family

·         “Ah uh, okay bye,” he grunts instead  in an awkward manner, before promptly hanging up

·         “Um…Saeran…I kinda really needed to talk to him though…”

·         He whips his gaze towards you

·         “The….” he chokes, his eyes wide 

·         “Huh???”

·         “The what???? Hug?????” he finally whispers, seeming if not a bit panicked by the thought such a thing existing

·         you stare at each other blankly for a brief minute before you double up in laughter because

·         a) he looks like a startled, edgy cat b) he’s in your fucking kitchen cabinets and c) the what??? hug??? was something you never thought would come out of his mouth

·         but he gets so sour about you laughing at him that he refuses to leave his perch for the next two hours

·         #spends the whole time thinking about you hugging him

·         *cue the blushies*

·         wants to try this ‘hugging’ ordeal

anonymous asked:

Instead of angst what if yuuri gets called for a crime in progress and he shows up by himself and it's viktor and viktor's like "heh... Surprise! Heh heh..." Then Yuuri just says "yeah I'm dumping you" and viktor's like "NOO- wait you're not gonna arrest me? Why?" and yuuri's like "coz you're an idiot and I'm tired but if I see you again yer so getting arrested" and so Viktor pouts and stays away from yuuri but keeps sending him flowers and jewellery and sappy poems and yuuri's like 😑❤

Lolololol XDDD
seems like a very Victor thing to do, sending lots of gifts to appease his huffy lover X3
WOULD BE QUITE LENIENT OF YURI TO LET HIM GO LIKE THAT O3O
But lololol, exasperated Yuri is one of my fave Yuri’s <3

Party Girl (Part Four): So Cute

Jeff Atkins x Reader

A/N: Hey sorry I disappeared for a while but I barely had time to sleep between my two jobs. However, starting next week I should have at LEAST one day off a week so I can get some writing done without giant gaps. As usual, tell me what you think. No feedback makes me feel like I’m wasting my time lol Enjoy ☺️

Part Three 

__

It’s been a while since you met Jessica for the first time and the two of you have been all but inseparable ever since. While she would never be what Kat was to you, you could feel a bond beginning to form. She told you about her crush on Alex which you encouraged. When the two actually began dating, you couldn’t be happier. 

You’d seen Hannah in passing. Having only one class together didn’t help build your friendship any. You tried talking to her in class but it didn’t help much. You noticed her spending time with Clay Jenson and Tony Padilla. You figure she’s found her own friends and you’re happy for her. 

It’s Friday and you’re currently sitting in your last class of the day counting down the minutes until you’re free. When the bell rings, you can’t make it out of the room fast enough. As you walk to your locker you’re thinking of all the assignments you need to complete over the weekend. Your little sister’s birthday is Sunday and you know your mother is going to make you put down your work to focus on her. You don’t mind really. You just have to get everything done by Sunday.

You’re so focused on scheduling out your homework that you don’t notice the person approaching you.

“Y/N?”

You jump slightly and find Jeff leaning against the locker to the left of yours.

“What?”

“I was hoping you could help me with the English homework? I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Doesn’t that Clay kid tutor you?”

He looks thrown off for a minute but eventually shrugs.

“He’s busy today.”

“It’s Friday. You have all weekend to work on it.”

“I’d rather just get it done today. With you.”

You pause and think it over for a minute. How bad could it be? You can easily help him get the assignment done while doing your own. All that matters is that you get the assignments done by Sunday.

“I guess that’d be fine. I just have to tell Zach cause he’s my ri-“

“I already did.” He interrupts.

“You just assumed I would say yes?”

“I…Well,” He shrugs slightly, “You’re a nice person. I figured you wouldn’t mind helping me out.”

“Well lucky for you, I’m feeling generous today.”

You grab the last couple of books you need and slam your locker closed.

“So the library or outside?” You question, “I’d prefer the library because I actually get distracted pretty easily.”

“Actually, I was thinking we could go to my house?”

Your heart stops for a second. His house? Jeff Atkins house.

“Uh yeah, t-that’s fine.” You nod.

“Cool. So we should probably get going if we plan to get any of this done.”

You nod again and follow him out to his car. On the way, you make eye contact with both Jessica and Sheri. Both girls send over dramatic facial expressions and winks in your direction. You ignore them both completely.

The two of you aren’t on the road for more than a minute when your phone begins to vibrate. You frown slightly at the new group chat that has formed in your messages.

Gossip Girls 💋

SherSher 🎀: I decided a group text was easier cause we’re all thinking the same thing. Y/N if you get laid I want details!!!!!

Jess 👯: YES! D E T A I L S

Kit Kat 🍫: Who is she sleeping with????!!!!!

SherSher 🎀: Jeff

Jess 👯: I’m so proud

Kit Kat 🍫: YAAAS BITCH

You can’t help the blush that takes over your face as you read through the texts.

“You ok over there?” Jeff asks.  

“Fine. My friends are just idiots.” You mumble.

Y/N: I am NOT sleeping with him. He’s 1000000x out of my league

“Ha, I know the feeling.” He laughs.

You don’t say anything back and focus on your phone once again as you feel it vibrate.

SherSher 🎀: wow ok that’s a lie

Kit Kat 🍫: lolololol ok sure Y/N

Y/N: I’m not saying I’m ugly I’m cute as hell HOWEVER I know my limits

Jess 👯: and hes within those limits!!

SherSher 🎀: please girl take it for the team

Jess 👯: do it for us

Kit Kat 🍫: Do HIM for us

Y/N: LOL GOODBYE

You silence the chat and focus your attention back on the road before you.

“You’re quiet today.”

“Oh,” you start, “compared to how chatty I am on other days?”

“Compared to how chatty you were the last time you were in my car.” He replies.

Oh yeah. You barely remembered the night he brought you home. He hadn’t mentioned it much and you hadn’t thought much about it.

“And what did I have to say?”

You’re almost scared to ask. According to Bryce, you’re much  [I] nicer when you’re drunk. You’ve said and done a few things that you might not have under normal circumstances when drinking. You don’t mind it particularly. You’d rather be a flirty drunk than a mean drunk.

“Just that you like that I’m nice, ” You let out a small sigh of relief. “and that I have a perfect face.”

You’ve never felt your face flush so red.

“Did I? Well, that was nice of me.”

“Mhm. You also said that I’m perfect at everything.” He continues.

“Well, you do have a pretty flawless reputation.” You reply.

“And that you’d like to lay your head on my chest.”

You’re unable to come up with anything to say back for a moment.

“Well, that is mortifying.” You mumble.

“No,” he laughs as he pulls up in front of the cutest house you’ve ever seen. “it was cute.”

You ignore the comment and pull yourself from the car. You follow him up the front step and into the house. Once inside you can’t help but let out a little huff.

“What?” He asks.

“Even your house is perfect.” You shake your head.

You move around the room a bit and take in the pictures scattered around. One, in particular, catches your eye. The photo is of two little boys, both around six years old, in baseball uniforms.

“Oh my god,” you pick up the frame from the table, “is that you and Monty?”

For the first time, he looks almost embarrassed.

“Yeah uh” he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, “we did little league together. We were actually pretty close when we were little.”

“Aw! Two little bros playing baseball together. How cute.” You tap the tip of his nose with your finger.

“Sure, cute.” He rolls his eyes.

“What? It is! Both of you in your little baseball uniforms, so cute.”  

“Well, I was a pretty cute kid.”

“Hey, be nice. Monty was cute too.” You look closely at the picture again. “Actually he kind of looks the same now.”

“So you think Monty’s cute.”

The tone of his voice has changed slightly. You look back to him and find him looking at you closely.

“Well, he’s not the ugliest guy I’ve ever seen.” You shrug.

“But not the cutest you’ve ever seen either right?” He questions.

“No,” you smile, “definitely not.”

“Good.” He smiles.

A silence fills the room and you shift around awkwardly.

“We should get started on that homework.” You mumble.

“Right. Let’s go up to my room.”

You feel like your heart is about to jump out of its chest. You’re about to be in Jeff Atkins bedroom.

It’s cleaner than you’d expected. It’s not the first boy’s bedroom you’ve been in. Bryce’s was almost always a mess. He was used to people cleaning up after him so it didn’t really surprise you. Both Monty and Zach’s rooms tended to be a bit messy. Zach’s mother would kill him for leaving any room a mess. Monty just doesn’t like a mess. It “pisses him off” or whatever. Jeff’s room is nearly spotless.

“Wow, it’s like spotless in here.”

“Uh yeah, I cleaned it a little yesterday.” He mumbles.

“So it’s not normally this tidy?” You smirk.

“Not at all.” He laughs, “You can sit wherever you want.”

You throw your backpack on his bed and slip your shoes off before settling yourself so your back is against the wall.

“Ok so, Macbeth.” You start as you pull your textbook out.

“Wow right to it.”

“I have to get this shit done by Sunday.” You sigh.

“Why Sunday?”

“It’s my little sister’s birthday. My mom is having this big party for her.”

“I didn’t know you have a sister.”

“Yeah, she’s only four so she’s not very active in the party scene yet.” You reply.

“Ah, so no keg stands and drunken karaoke for her?” He laughs.

“More like Capri-Suns and full reenactments of Moana with her dolls.” You laugh back.

“Sounds adorable.”

“It was cute the first time. Not so much now.” You reply.

“I’ll have to see one day.” He says.

“Maybe but for now we need to worry about Macbeth.”

The two of you work together for the next couple of hours. You’re able to get him through the English homework easy enough and decided to just stay put and finish the rest of your homework. He worked on other work too, occasionally pausing to ask for help on certain questions. You’re both so focused that you don’t notice that his parents had arrived home.

“Jeff honey, I’m feeling kind of tired so I think we’re gonna just – oh hello.”

You jump slightly and find a woman standing in the doorway.

“Oh hey, mom,” Jeff mumbles while staring confusedly at his homework.

“The answer is B.” You tell him.

“Thanks.”

“Who’s this?” His mother asks.

“Oh sorry, I’m Y/N.” You get off the bed and move to shake her hand.

“Oh you’re Y/N” She smiles. You notice her eyes look towards Jeff for a moment before she drags her attention back to you. “Are you staying for dinner? I’m thinking of ordering some Chinese but I could always cook something if you’d prefer. I mean you’re the guest and-”

“Mom, please.” Jeff sighs.

“Actually I have to go home. I didn’t realize it was this late and my mom is pretty crazy about the whole family dinner thing.” You laugh awkwardly.

“I’ll bring you home,” Jeff says as he pulls himself off the bed.

“Well, it was so nice meeting you Y/N. Hopefully, we can all have dinner together soon. Maybe after one of Jeff’s games. I know Harrison would love to meet you and-”

“Ok mom, she has to get going.” He cuts her off.

His mother gives you a smile and you give a small wave before she leaves the doorway. You collect your books from the bed and shove them into your backpack. Within a few minutes, the two of you are on the way to your house. You’re both quiet for a few minutes.

“Your mom seems nice.” You say.

“Yeah uh sorry about her. She gets excited when she meets any of my friends.” He shrugs.

“It’s ok,” you laugh, “my mom is ten times worse. You have no idea.”

“I can’t even imagine anything worse.” He laughs.

“I assure you, I beat you on this one.”

“Maybe I’ll have to meet her for myself and find out.”

“Maybe.” You reply.

It takes a little over five minutes before he’s turning down your street.

“Thanks for the help today.” He says as he pulls in front of your house.

“No problem. You’re not as distracting as I thought you were going to be.”  

“Thanks, I guess.” He replies.

“Yeah,” you mumble awkwardly, “I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Yeah, Monday.” He nods.

“Thanks for the ride too.”

“Of course.”

You nod silently before making your way out of the car. Once again he waits until you make it into the door to begin driving away. You let out a breath of relief you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. Suddenly you remember the text messages that must be flooding your phone from your friends. Unlocking your phone, you find missed texted from both your friends and your mother. You can hear her and your father speaking in the dining room.

“Sorry mom,” You say as you walk into the room. “I was studying and you know how I like to have zero distractions.”

“Well don’t do it again. You nearly missed dinner. It’s vegetarian night.” She snaps.

“I’m sorry. I got back as soon as I could.” You reply.

“Just sit down please.” She sighs.

You take a seat and pull some food onto your plate. Your sister sends you a smile from across the table and you send a smile back. Once your parents return to their previous conversation, you feel it is safe to check your other text messages.

Gossip Girls 💋

SherSher 🎀: but seriously Y/N he’s into you just go for it

Jess 👯: what is it you said to me??? ‘grow some balls and kiss him already’ I think you should take your own advice.

Kit Kat 🍫: Are you ignoring us?

Jess 👯: that’s rude Y/N

SherSher 🎀: she’s definitely ignoring us

Kit Kat 🍫: I mean who wouldn’t when you have all that to look at

There’s a two-hour time gap before the texts begin again.

SherSher 🎀: this is a loooooong time to ignore texts Y/N

Kit Kat 🍫: That’s cause she’s busy with something else

Jess 👯: probably

Kit Kat 🍫: That’s some serious stamina

SherSher 🎀: to say the least

Kit Kat 🍫: You better have a good ass story after making us wait this long

You shake your head at the ridiculousness of the texts before typing out your reply.

Y/N: Fuck off we didn’t have sex. I helped him with his homework, met his mom and came home.

You’re thankful that there is no immediate response to the texts. Hopefully, they’ll be too busy with their families to both you for a few hours.

“So what were you studying?” Your father asks.

“Macbeth.”

Almost immediately he launches into a rant about why that is his favorite Shakespeare play. The rest of the night goes by without any drama or stress. At least until your phone starts vibrating again.

今から日向テストを行います by どん

Today we have a test

This is the funniest fanfic out there I swear to god. Snippet:

Shimizu: In order to protect Hinata’s cute ass, we’re going to have a test.
Tanaka: I didn’t want to hear that word from Shimizu-san!
Asahi: Same here.
Sugawara: Of course there’ll be some of you who’ll say “I’m not a pervert”. HOWEEEVERRR! Don’t forget the existence of ones who hide in secret like Daichi!
Daichi: Dude.

Keep reading

@decerterus
Well I appreciate the sentiment anyway lmao

@aneroticporkcutletghost
Honestly, give me all the healthy sibling relationships! My older brother and I aren’t particularly close- none of my family is, and I think that’s why we all get along so well- but man, I love the idiot.

And as a side note, I know I’ve said this before, but Clarus looks scarily similar to how my 6’2, built like a brick shithouse dad did at one point (he usually has a beard, but when he has to shave it he just looks like Clarus lmao). They’re even about the same age. That’s why I can’t ever accept Clarus as a shitty dad lolololol