lol-i-found-this-at-big-lots

3

Title: I Phil Offended
Pairing: Dan x reader
Rating: M (because why not add the smut)
Word count: 2,043
Prompt: After dating for six months, Dan has stumbled upon your old side fanfiction Tumblr blog. He is in for a big surprise when he sees the kind of fanfiction you were interested in.

Request by @beforethebraces: Write around this quote for Dan x Reader, “Hey, y/n. I think I found your old Tumblr blog and- OH MY GOD. WHY IS THERE A LOT OF PHIL SMUT, I’M OFFENDED.” Good luck bestie ;)

Oh, bestie. You have no idea how much I LOL’d and LMFAO’d when I read this.

Hey lovelies! Why I didn’t think about doing a Dan x reader fic around this prompt, I don’t know. Props to my best friend who writes hilarious 5SOS fics and sent me this hilarious request. I’m still rusty on writing smut, so I think this’ll be the perfect prompt to write smut about… well smut. INCEPTION PEOPLE. Girl, I hope you don’t mind I added the smut, ‘cause I know how much you love reading the 5SOS smut. *thinks back to what you told me about the 5SOS daddy kinks*

Side note: for your Tumblr name, use this little formula I made up: favorite color + favorite animal + favorite number. Mine would be Blackpanda13.

Spending at least 95% of his life on the internet, what would have been another normal Tumblr scrolling spree takes a turn when Dan comes across a particular Tumblr blog.

It’s a rainy day in London and he has chosen to spend the afternoon indoors. Phil is at Zoe’s house shooting a collab video with her. (Y/N) is on her way over to the flat. He’s in his classic browsing position on the sofa.

He can’t wait to spend the rest of the day cuddled up on the sofa with her. Maybe they’ll get to play a round of Halo if she isn’t too tired from work. In the meantime, he’s browsing the web until her arrival.

He types in the URL for Tumblr. After signing in, he skims through his dashboard. He does a couple of reposts. All is fine until he reads a reblog from one of the fans he randomly followed. It’s a phanfic. A phanfic with smut.

He doesn’t often take the chance to read Phan smut, not after reading the Cherry Fic a couple years ago. The demented minds his fans could have made him wary about finding another horrifying smutty phanfic. Once in a while, he’ll read one on Tumblr out of curiosity. Not all of them are like the Cherry Fic (there are well-written ones out there), but he still takes pre-cautions.

He decides to read through this one. How bad could it be?

The phanfic is less than 2,000 words long. There are lots of fluff and sex. By the time he finishes reading, he’s thinking about reading more from this particular user.

The door to the lounge opens. (Y/N) walks in, leaving a semi-drenched umbrella down on the floor.

“Hey babe.” She takes off her (your favorite footwear). She removes her (F/C) coat, carrying it over her arm as she heads over to Dan. “Whatcha up to?”

“The usual.”

She drapes her coat on the sofa’s arm unoccupied by Dan’s body and looks at the laptop screen. “Tumblr again?”

“Yup.”

“Ah. Well, I’m gonna make some hot chocolate. You want some?”

He grins. “Marshmallows please.”

“I know you do.” She kisses his cheek. “Be back in a bit.”

(Y/N) heads into the kitchen, leaving Dan to resume his Tumblring activities. He enjoyed reading that fic from (your Tumblr name). If she (or he since he does have male Dan and Phil fans) has written other fanfics, those fics should be just as good as the ones he read.

He clicks on (your Tumblr name) and the Web page switches to (your Tumblr name)’s blog. He scrolls down the page. After a couple of posts, he finds another fanfic. It’s a Phil x reader one.

He snickers. He doesn’t read reader insert fics as much as phanfics, but he is aware of their existence. There are a lot of Dan x reader ones out there. He reads those when he isn’t in the mood of reading phanfics. Now that he’s dating his (Y/N), he pictures her name in those fics. As for Phil, he’ll dabble in the Phil x reader collection if he finds it on his dashboard.

He likes Phil x reader fics. Most of them are fluff, which guarantees the content won’t scar him for life. This Phil x reader fic is no exception.

“Aw,” he says when he speed-reads through it. “That was cute.”

This (your Tumblr name) is a good writer. The decent number of notes on this story proves that.

“Got your hot chocolate.” (Y/N) returns to the lounge and sets the two steaming mugs of hot chocolate on the coffee table. “Anything exciting on Tumblr?”

“Just the fanfiction.”

She smiles. “Lemme guess, Phan?”

“The first one. I just finished reading a Phil x reader one.”

She sits down on the sofa to his right. “Oh fanfiction. The therapy for all people when a beloved character die.”

He groans, recalling the previous episode of Game of Thrones. Thank god he wasn’t too emotionally attached to the latest character killed off. “Don’t remind me. The internet is still in a major shitstorm.”

“It’s the internet. What are you gonna do.”

He scrolls further down (your Tumblr name)’s blog. “By the way, didn’t you have an old side Tumblr blog? Before you started posting all your fics to your main one?”

“Oh yeah! I haven’t visited that blog in a while. I keep forgetting to delete it.”

“What was the name of the blog?”

“(your Tumblr name). I cringe at the name.”

His eyes widen. “(Y/N), I think I found your old Tumblr blog.”

(Y/N) looks at him with an amused expression. “You would’ve come across it eventually.”

He glances back at the screen. The post he’s on is a masterlist. Scrolling down the masterlist, he feigns a horrified gasp. “OH MY GOD. WHY IS THERE A LOT OF PHIL SMUT?” Under the section labeled ‘Phil x reader,’ there are asterisks next to those designated as fics containing smut. Not only is there an overwhelming amount of Phil x reader fics in the masterlist, but it looks like at least ¾ths of them are smut fics too.

(Y/N)’s face turns light shade of pink. “There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for that.”

“I’m a bit offended.”

“I’m sorry!”

He laughs. “I’m messing with you, sweetie.”

She playfully slaps his shoulder. “Dan! You had me worried there for a second.”

“(Y/N), it’s fanfiction. You know I’m a troller for Internet creepiness.” He closes his laptop and places it on an empty spot on the table. “So you wrote a lot of Phil x reader smut.”

(Y/N)’s cheeks flushes from the light pink into a rosey pink. “It’s a long story, Dan.”

“I got time.” He picks up one of the mugs of hot chocolate. “This rain isn’t letting up any soon.”

“Where do I even begin.” She grabs the other mug. “If you want to cut to the chase, I had a huge YouTube crush on Phil during his early days of YouTube. When I discovered the world of fanfiction, I was sucked into it like every other nerd. I got so addicted to reading fanfics that I tried writing my own. I did some for (one of your favorite fandoms) before I wrote for Dan and Phil.” She pauses to sip on her hot chocolate. “As I got older, I got around to reading smut. Smut definitely opened up a whole new world for me.” She giggles. “I was embarrassed to write the smut at first. I had little experience with smut and it was hard to write it beyond the words ‘in, out, in, out.’” That earns a laugh from Dan. “I got used to it. People aren’t wrong. With a little practice, you get used to writing the smut.”

“What was your first smut piece?”

“A (a favorite ship) one for (fandom corresponding to favorite ship).”

“I see. So when did you get around to writing Phil smut?”

“Sometime in 2013.”

For the next several minutes, (Y/N) continues to divulge into her fanfiction writing. Dan learns that she wrote for Phil x reader because she wanted to give as much attention for reader insert fics for Phil as much as Dan. She noticed how popular Dan x reader smut fics, and when she saw the lower numbers for Phil x reader smut fics, she took matters into her own hands. She never would have believed that she would be one of the Tumblr users that set the standard for Phil x reader fanfics. And, because she loved Dan and Phil in general, she made sure to write fanfics for Dan x reader and Phan to even the field.

It makes perfect sense. Dan is glad he didn’t feel the emotions that his words had to be offended by (Y/N)’s preference for Phil x reader smut fics. All she wanted was to give as much love for Phil x reader smut as Dan x reader smut.

An hour later, they consume all of their hot chocolate. Dan is in the kitchen washing the mugs.

All of that talking about smut has gotten Dan in a smutty mood. Sex with (Y/N) is amazing, and even if they haven’t dated for a year, they are adventurous behind closed doors.

There’s a bulge in his jeans. God, he needs a release.

He finishes getting the mugs scrubbed and rinsed. He puts them on the dishrack, then heads back to the living room. (Y/N) is looking through his game collection.

“Babe, what do you want to play?” She holds up the latest release of Halo and (your favorite x-box game).

He smirks. “I was thinking of playing with something else.”

Understanding dawns in (Y/N)’s (E/C) eyes. “And what do you suppose we play with?” Her eyes flickers to the lower half of his body.

He makes his way over to her, snaking his arms around her waist. “It’s a game where there are no losers.”

“Ooh. Let’s play that game then.”

His lips meets her. They stumble over to the sofa. Clothes come flying off and strewn all across the lounge.

“You could have gotten straight to the point,” she teases as she lays on her back on the sofa, naked and writhing in need.

“Psh… where’s the fun in that?”

He spreads her legs apart. His lips trail light kisses along her thighs until he reaches her center. Inhaling her sweet scent, he darts his tongue through her slit, from bottom to top. He grins at the drawn-out moan she makes.

“Damn, I should talk about smut more often,” she says.

“You should. But less about Phil. I won’t hear the end of it once he knows he’s the reason why we got here.”

“True. Now stop talking and more of that.”

“More of what, sweetie?”

“Don’t make me spell it out for you.”

He chuckles. “As you wish.”

He plants his mouth firmly on her clit. He licks and sucks on the sensitive spot. Her hips buck upward to meet his face, causing him to hold her hips down to the sofa. She settles for gripping at strands of his hair.

“Fuck,” she groans. “I’m gonna come.”

He adds more pressure to her clit. Wetness pools onto his tongue as she lets out a loud moan and climaxes. He savors every drop of her essence until she’s begging for him to stop.

He moves away from her legs and hovers over her body. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I ate the biggest (your favorite chocolate) chocolate in the world,” she answers breathlessly.

“Are you saying you love (your favorite chocolate) more than me?”

“Dan, I love you more than anything else in the world. Don’t you feel the love?”

“Oh, I’m feeling the love.”

She bursts into giggles. “Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?”

He joins in on her laughs. (Y/N) and her witty remarks. “I’m feeling something.”

He guides his cock to her wet center. He runs it through her folds a couple of times before he slides in. He starts at a steady pace, but soon he’s moving faster and faster.

He lifts her legs over his shoulders. The change in position causes him to push in deeper, hitting her g-spot over and over. The sensations sends him into a tailspin.

“(Y/N)! You feel so good!”

“You… too,” she pants.

He slips his hands down between their bodies. His fingers rub circles around her clit.

“Come for me,” he murmurs huskily. “Scream my name, baby.”

“F-fuck! Dan!” she shouts. She buries her head in his shoulders. Her walls clamp down on his cock, her body shuddering in her orgasm. A few more thrusts and he’s coming too. He holds her close to him as he rides out the waves of his sexual bliss.

When he’s done, he pulls out and collapses in a satisfied heap next to her. He pulls her in a spooning position, her back to his front.

“This beats video games any day,” she sighs.

He smiles. “I’m glad to hear that.”

She turns in his arms. “This gives me inspiration for a new fanfic.”

“Does it include smut?”

“Why yes it does.” She pokes his nose. “But this time, I’ll try to keep Phil out of it.”

Oh, title puns. I should do that more often.

Bestie, I know how much you love your one-liners, so I tried to put in as much as I could. I added in the Spongebob one (brownie points for those who can pinpoint the episode and scene that line was from) I tend to say in our, ahem, conversations about the male human species. :D

I’m still practicing the smut. I read them all the time, but when it comes to writing my own, my mind goes blank. Practice makes perfect though, right?

Btw give love for Phil x reader fanfics guys. Phil doesn’t get enough love for reader insert fics, especially for the smut. I might try to write Phil smut, if you guys wanna see that.

Until next time.

~ AA

3

I had a dream that I was at my grandmother house and Mumford & Sons came there. WEIRD lol. I guess this dream took place at her house because I am going on June 24th to visit her for 2 weeks. 

ANYWAYS, They were all there at my grandmother house and we all sat and talked for like 4 hours then Ben got up to start cooking. Apparently since there was a lot of us Ben wanted a huge pot to cook in. He found out that we didn’t have a big enough pot (however he did) so he told Marcus to buy one on his way but Marcus didn’t buy a big enough pot and Ben only saw it when he was in the kitchen ready to cook. My aunt who also went to visit my grandmother apparently met Marcus at a market and he asked her about which pot to buy cause he was holding 2 different ones in his hand and she pointed to one so that was the one he bought. When my aunt arrived at the house she told Marcus “I didn’t know you would be here and if I did I would’ve told you to buy a bigger pot” lmao. Then Ben is going on about needed more light in the kitchen? Like what? and going on about the not so big enough pot size to Marcus lol and then I woke up.

What a dream that was…

I wish Ben was still doing his food blog on Mumford & Sons website. Credits for the pics to them of course. I love these pics of him cooking. 

9

I picked Miguel and Nolan’s route because I wanted to choose Miguel in the end. I am easily attracted to guys like Miguel; athletic, muscular (duh, he’s an athlete, he must be more muscular than the others), friendly, smiles a lot, … Generally big guy with a big heart. Most of my crushes are this type, especially anime crushes, and I often fall for them because of these first impressions.

But as the story proceeded to further “introduce” Nolan to the MC, I found him as my ‘other’ type; the one I usually really fall in love with, the one that is completely different from the one I described as Miguel. Sarcastic and gentlemanly, I fell for Nolan in this chapter. He opens the door for the MC, cover the MC from the rain, wears cologne, and what I most like about him: he’s rather cold (and sarcastic, but I like it about him) but he’s caring―he’s not like the typical otome guys who’d “tease” the MC and are harsh with words, or/and acting as the MC’s “master”, being all dominant and cocky and stuff, but in the end of the day they actually really care about the MC…no, Nolan’s not like that. He’s cold, cocky, and sometimes he likes to tease the MC, but what makes him different is that he’s a real gentleman: he didn’t do all these―opening the door for MC, covering MC from rain, offering to drive MC home―because he’s attracted to the MC or he wanted the MC to repay him back later, but only because he’s a gentleman.

Furthermore, I can totally relate with Nolan, in personality. I myself strike off as cold and distant, and I often make sarcastic comments irl. Also, I’m used to put other before myself―in Nolan and MC’s case, it’s the “Better I get wet than your hair and clothes” thing―and help them when I can, with my own ways―like Nolan purposely making the MC drink a lot so that she can tell her problems to him, even if Nolan didn’t do anything significant, sometimes we just want to get them out of our chests.

And, personally, I totally would have dropped my heart in an instant if someone did this to me. And they smell like cologne? Fuck my panties I don’t need them anymore.

I chose this route because of Miguel, but now I’m really torn between the two.

day 2 (again)

lol so somehow i still havnt been logged out of frenchhornsandunicorns on my mobile app (thank goodness) which so im starting to think i may just some access to both blogs for a lot longer than i expected. like i didnt have to stay up till 2 am filling my queue with posts telling people ive moved? idk i mean i didnt have to do that anyways but i did and that was my choice

ooh also i have a job now so thats cool

anonymous asked:

I'm not trying to push you into doing this. I just know a lot of people who are in the same boat as you guys and walked away and never found anyone ever again lol so before you make any big time moves sit there and think about how easy does he make you laugh, does he spoil you the way you want to be even when you shouldn't be, does he bring out the best and worst in you? Because of he does then you got your man right there lol

Ok

I went to a Public which is in the next area and its so big!!
A lot of stuff happened too
I found Overwatch!!
But some creep was like “Lol u know abt overwatch lol”
Also i got a volume of NT Warrior i was missing
AAAAND I found IDW TMNT
Which led to some kinfeels B’“^)

anonymous asked:

Hey, could I get a got7 and BTS ship please? I'm 15, 5'4, Portuguese and have long auburn hair, brown eyes and pale skin. I mainly wear black and grey. My makeup is very heavy and dark and I am always found wearing it. I'm confident, loud, sarcastic, rude, smart and fun, but I also can be caring, sensitive quiet. I swear a lot too. People don't think I'm very smart, but once I start talking, they realise I am. I love to write, play instruments, and act. I'm a big book nerd. Thank you so much! <3

You sound super pretty! And you’re as tall as I am! Short squad hell yeah, lol. 

In Got7 I ship you with Youngjae! 

Originally posted by markjin

I think his sarcastic personality would mesh well with yours. He’s like the confidence, finding it super attractive, and would love your Portuguese heritage. He’s loud too (like omg child shhh) so he wouldn’t mind at all if you were loud as well. While he would really like seeing your fun and loud side, I think he would be so thankful for you caring and sensitive side. After a long day of rehearsal, coming home to you and being able to talk to you if the manager got on to him, or just being able to rant about how tired he was. He’d love to just lay there with you, maybe have you read a book to him or play one of your instruments for him. I think he’d also really like to read some of the things you’ve written as well. You two would be so cute. 

In BTS I ship you with Rapmon!

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

First and foremost, Namjoon is intelligent. He may seem like an idiot sometimes, but he is very very smart. Because of this your bookworm side as well as you intelligence would be very appealing to him. His weird side would be drawn out my you loud and fun side and I think he would readily return your sarcasm. He swears too, so there’s no major things that would be thrown off by you swearing in front of him. I think, if he heard you play your instruments, he would find a way to work your talent into an album and he would love to have you act in a music video with him. I think, out of all of the members, you would match best with Namjoon and it would be a very smart couple. 

Thank you for requesting! 

Requests are currently closed. 

There’s so many s3 plot holes and shit I’m disappointed about I wouldn’t even know where to begin. But mostly the finale moved so quick and there were a lot of parts that didn’t make much sense to me. I also heard the ending was supposed to be a cliffhanger and there was supposed to be “lots of death”. Like. Pike died that’s it big whoop. Also I think they shouldn’t have made Octavia try to kill him earlier. It would’ve been so badass if she just gave him all these dirty looks while she worked with him and then once everything was over she stabbed him. That would’ve been crazy. Plus the editing in the city of light scenes was weird and lazy I found. West Cordova street sign? Good to know the city of light is in Vancouver lol. And that weird (probably ADR) editing when Clarke said I love you. The one thing about the episode I found really awesome was elizas acting. I think this episode was her best yet with her acting. She seriously nailed every scene. Writing/storytelling/editing… Not so good. My own humble opinion.