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Goat yoga is what happens when you have a terrible idea (yoga) and then punch it in the balls with the best idea (goats). The result is an idea that is not the best idea ever, because you’re still doing yoga, but it’s a hell of a lot better than doing yoga without goats. And do you know why? Because there’s goats, goddammit! GOATS!

How’s this whole shindig go down? You go to your yoga dojo or whatever, put down your yoga tarp, and then there’s a goat that just climbs on you. A Nigerian dwarf goat, so as to not break your back. You get into the Prolapsed Lotus position and the goat mounts you like you’re a shitty ottoman and it’s trying to reach the cookies. “Why?” you ask. We’re way past why. Why are you even asking why? Name one thing in your life that wouldn’t be improved if a small goat were literally on you while it was happening. Did you name one? How’s life as a dirty liar?

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