lol wow sorry this is so big

anonymous asked:

you mentioned the mama video being sketchy in one of your tags, why? would you mind sharing your thoughts? it's perfectly fine if you prefer not to though!!

Well, it’s another one of those videos that I watch religiously so..

Just a disclaimer, everything I personally find sketchy is things I see at face value and things that everyone sees so it probably not that interesting. I don’t really squint at the background and be like “OMG THERE’S A WRAPPER. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. CONDOM.”, because that just takes so much effort and idk how some of you guys do it XD

Anyways, I just keep watching this because it’s cute it just makes me think things lol. First of all, JIMIN AND JUNGKOOK ARE ACTUALLY IN A HOTEL ROOM TOGETHER *gasp* irrefutable evidence this time, js. And it’s just the two of them no one else ^^ 

And then I started asking questions like: why is jimin’s voice like that? why are they in the washroom ‘practicing’? were they practicing that hard? what were they practicing? WHERE DID JUNGKOOK’S SHIRT GO (AND WHY)? why did they even start filming in there? who was at the door? why was it cut? why is just the two of them in the first place?

and why. why did he have to look at him like that:

too soft for my cold heart plz

anyways, when they both ran to the big window window and jungkook was being all cute and shiet and they were like “Wow, the Hong Kong view is so nice…” “…yeah” and then Jungkook just sat down on the bed seeming quite pleased with himself and idk it just felt like something I would write in my fanfics and it just felt so warm and intimate ^///o///^

tl;dr jimin and jungkook are in a hotel room together. that’s it. that’s the sketchy. lol

toruhajime  asked:

hey cj! I really love your writing style and was wondering what or who influenced your writing style? And if you have any tips for new writers? 🌸 (excuse my randomness 😅) hope you have a lovely day!

Ahhh thank you so much!!! You are so sweet, Naz <3

This got a bit long - but the answers are under the cut!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I would give you my legs if you did the rfa and the minor trios reaction to MC being very short! And very much so a guy

As a person who’s 5ft I approve of this!!! This sounds so fun!! YAY!!!!! May the short people rejoice, because I got them! Yeah! Lolol! Okay, I’ll start now, moment over…..

Note, the whole thing deleted and I thought my computer was broken, wow I’m crappy at this lol! Anyway again sorry it’s been so long, I feel so guilty >~<

Zen

  • He’s so surprised
  • HOW ARE YOU SO SMOL OMFG!!!
  • He finds it ridiculous lol
  • Gets you everything you need
  • Always getting things that you can’t reach
  • Snuggling you all the time
  • Totally loves being big spoon
  • Your hair just smells so nice!!
  • You think he’s the sweetest person to ever walk this earth!
  • You obviously don’t see when he watches you try to each something
  • He feels kinda bad, but it’s just too cute, eventually he’ll help you
  • One day he saw someone at a party making fun of your height
  • The rest of the time you had to watch Zen “I’m going to kill him” idiot McGee
  • You actually thought it was super sweet
  • He just wants to make sure you’re happy all the time
  • No matter what
  • He’ll go to the ends of the earth and back for you his angel
  • You in turn treasure all of his company
  • You two are perfect together, like a duet of happiness and sunny days

Yoosung

  • Oh my goodness!
  • He thought he was the shortest dude in the RFA?
  • Apparently not!
  • He’s so unsure what to do
  • You have to convince him to not go out and buy every stepstool he can find
  • You assure him you’ll be fine
  • You guys can’t decide on who’s big spoon
  • So you face each other
  • Or sometimes lay on top of each other when it’s not tbh
  • Shhh!
  • One day an ex of yours was making fun of you
  • “Wow, I never thought you’d be into guys you piece of shit! You’re about as close to Hell as you can get, especially considering you have the height of a dwarf!”
  • You’re obviously very distressed
  • YANDERE YOOSUNG ACTIVATED
  • He punches the lady in the face
  • And you have to pull him back from doing something he’ll regret
  • He eventually calms down, but not before the woman runs away
  • You say good riddance
  • Since then he’s super protective of anyone who makes a comment on your stature
  • You’re grateful

Jaehee

  • She was the shortest person in the RFA before
  • But you’re super tiny!
  • Like wtf!
  • She’s so surprised!
  • There’s only one stepstool in the house
  • So everything is a battle for you guys
  • One day she catches you climbing up on the counter
  • She freaked!
  • But later you see her doing the same thing
  • Hehehehehe
  • One day someone at a park bumped into you
  • And they tried to make you feel better by saying some really shitty things about your height
  • Yeah, he’s an idiot
  • Because Jaehee is amazing at Tae Kwon Do
  • And you’re amazing at kicking anything below the belt as hard as possible
  • Yeah, no one messes with you
  • Even Seven knows if he goes to far…  stuff’s going to go down!

Jumin

  • Okay, so before we get into your height something needs to be clarified
  • DoesJuminHanisgayconfirmedIsweartoGodfightmeokayI’llstopnow…
  • He makes sure everything is accessible to your height
  • The first week while it was all getting set up he found you climbing up to get something in the kitchen
  • On the fridge…
  • “MC GET DOWN THERE YOU’LL KILL YOURSELF!!”
  • “It’s fine! I’ve done this loads before!”
  • “YOU’VE DONE THIS BEFORE?!”
  • Yeah, he’s a total worrywart
  • But the sweetest worrywart ever
  • Also best cuddler goes to this guy I swear to god
  • Super aware of your feelings about being 5ft
  • One time you were with him at a party and this guy was making fun of your height
  • You had to stop Jumin from hiring Seven to wreck his life
  • “Not the answer babe.”
  • But the minute you visit the men’s room he’s getting this guy out of the party
  • You notice, but by then decide not to talk about it
  • It ended up being a pretty good night
  • With lots of lovey dovey moments when you get home
  • IfyouknowwhatImean

Saeyoung/Seven

  • Okay, let’s be honest
  • There’s no way in Hell he’s not going to make fun of you
  • Just because he’s in love with you doesn’t mean he’s going to give up the meaning of life
  • Totally grabs whatever you want and holding it above your head
  • You got so frustrated once you pulled him down and screamed in his ear
  • In response he began tickling you like crazy
  • Yeah, you spent a lot of time cleaning that up under Saeran’s eye
  • Sometimes when Saeran and Seayoung are fighting pettily Saeyoung will yell out; “MC’s MY ONLY BROTHER NOW!!!”
  • You made him apologize
  • But in all serious he won’t take it too far
  • One time someone approached you because apparently you bumped into them at the store
  • And began saying the most horrible things about your height
  • Yeah, hack God 707 wasn’t go to let that slide
  • The guy ended up blowing all his recent paychecks on buying Vegemite
  • Yeah, it was pretty funny
  • You guys had a good laugh about it
  • And lots of hugs afterwards!

V

  • Nearly runs into you the first time you two meet I swear to God
  • He felt so bad about it!
  • Apologized profusely, but you just laughed and said it was fine
  • “Can you feel the love tonight…..”
  • It was a magical moment
  • He isn’t really sure where stuff is, so you spend a ton of tiem climbing up on things
  • When he realizes this he gets you a super tall step stool for each room
  • So worried about you honestly
  • What an innocent bean!
  • Super duper big spoon!!!
  • His hair is super tickly, and it’s super relaxing
  • He doesn’t tolerate any form of harassment at all
  • Someone makes one short joke at you and he’s there
  • For someone who can look in a mirror he’s mastered the death stare face
  • Yeah, people tend to stop after that
  • Always kisses you tons after
  • You mean the universe to him!
  • He’d do anything for you

Saeran

  • Much like his brother
  • Lots of stuff over your head
  • Your tactics don’t work on him
  • Sometimes he’ll throw you over his shoulder
  • It seems all ridiculous
  • You take it in stride though, because you know that he’ll give it to you eventually, and that he’d go to the deepest parts of the earth for you
  • You guys alternate who’s big spoon
  • When Saeran has a night mare you’ll be big spoon
  • But usually he is
  • It took him a while to get used to snuggling, but he loves it
  • Unfortunately it’s not perfect
  • During one of his attacks he became sadistically horrible, ripping on your height
  • You ran away crying that day
  • Thankfully you figured it out, and he hasn’t had a bad attack in a while
  • He’s amazingly grateful for you staying with him
  • The least he can do is do the same for you
  • Whenever someone else teases you about it Saeran gives them the death stare and a few choice words
  • Then ice cream for you
  • You guys spent the rest of the night watching the ducks and hugging each other in the cool air
  • And your height didn’t matter
  • You were an endless supply of happiness
  • Also Saeran thinks you’re the darndest cute thing that’s ever walked this planet

Vanderwood

  • Very chill about it
  • Doesn’t understand why it’s a big deal
  • It’s only a few inches, how bad could it be?
  • How bad could it be?
  • They realized it could be pretty bad when you told them about how you were brutally bullied about it
  • Another thing is getting things, from at the drugstore, to a book on the shelf
  • So they’re now constantly around you
  • There for you all the time
  • You guys sleep forehead to forehead, so there’s no real spooning
  • But when you’ve had a crappy day they’ll do it a bit
  • They don’t mind it
  • You’re soft
  • Sometimes someone will make a comment on your stature
  • And they will shoot you them like nothing else
  • There for you
  • And when someone has the audacity to stalk you and continue to harasss you about it they hack into all their accounts, lock them, and post random crap, including a profile pic of a rotting vegetable
  • Yeah, no one touches their loved one
  • You find it a bit over the top, but happy you’ll never have to deal with them again

I know this was kinda short, but I hope it was sweet enough. This was something interesting for me, because I’m short, and have been caught climbing on counters and cupboards so yeah. Hope you like! Sorry for the delay again, and see you guys tomorrow hopefully!!!! Until the I wish you all the sparkles in the world!!!

anonymous asked:

Yo maybe a members reaction to you walking down the wedding asle lol I'm on my wedding grind rn sorry

THIS. IS. ADORABLE.

thank you for requesting anon! also, my friend Adri helped me with these and gave me ideas so most of the credit goes to her! :)

-

Mark

  • ok but can u just imagine how happy this lil bean would be to see his gorgeous wife standing at the end of the aisle
  • probably has sweaty palms
  • smiles for days
  • legit his smile never leaves his face
  • gestures and points at you to his big family as if to say, “wow I’m marrying this beauty, can you believe it?”
  • most likely teased by the younger members about how, “Hyung is not attractive enough for her”
  • Jinyoung slaps their heads
  • despite their teasing, each member is happy for both of you
  • isn’t quite nervous but excited since you two are finally coming together as husband and wife
  • can not stay still if his life depended on it
  • like Jackson literally has to pat his back in order to calm him down
  • gulps when you finally get up to the alter
  • “She’s a beauty isn’t she? We’re definitely having a big family together…”

Jaebum

  • also a big smiler like Mark but his smile is towards the ground bc NERVOUS AF
  • his standing there and he hears the music start and he’s like omfg…this shit…is rly fucking happening
  • shifts his feet nervously because he cant believe this moment has finally arrived
  • just when you think he will be staring at the ground for the whole reception, Jinyoung pinches him and gives him the famous glare
  • “stop being so nervous bro” , “she’s too perfect for me”
  • and boy is Jaebum glad he did
  • once he sees you walking towards him in your gorgeous gown, glowing with the smile on you face, he feels his heart pick up and practically shares the warmth of the sun with you
  • mouth immediately drops and he laughs cutely at you all blushy like snsksnks
  • “I’m ready to continue my life with her by my side”

Jackson

  • receives a pep talk  from every member AND himself
  • “You got this! You’re finally committing, you’re a man! You’r-”
  • freezes when he sees you in a bone-white dress smiling at him
  • ya know the famous Jackson scream when he holds his cheeks and screams? yea well he’s doing that but on the inside
  • mixed with nervous and excited
  • always hypes the others so when you are walking down the aisle, its their turn
  • “woooooooooooooooow” which makes him smile more, if it were possible
  • looks at his mother and mouths, “I finally found the 2nd most important woman in my life”
  • are those tears?
  • yes, they are tears
  • not full on sobbing but has a few happy tears
  • screams, “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MY HEARS!? YOU’RE A GODDESS”

Jinyoung

  • isn’t exactly nervous or calm but is most likely the calmest
  • once his eyes lock with yours, his widen and a blush appears on your cheeks
  • “what about JJP”
  • “what about jinson”
  • “Shut up, don’t ruin this moment”
  • you began sparkling in his eyes and he cant believe anyone can be as beautiful as you are
  • “aiiishh why is she so lovely”
  • lifts his arms up to the audience in sort of a cocky way as if he was saying, “I made it, I am the winner because I married the most beautiful woman on this earth”
  • continues to tell you, “we are going to be the best married couple”

Youngjae

  • legit asks to play games on his phone while you guys wait
  • I feel like he is proud of himself and you and how far you two have come together
  • laughs nervously with the boys but stops as soon as the music starts
  • once he sees you come out, he puts on an awkward poker face, which makes you laugh in response
  • when he hears your laugh, the corners of his mouth turn up, and he looks at you with a genuine smile
  • thinks to himself, “She looks gorgeous in that cute white flowy dress”
  • Jaebum shakes him slightly to get rid of his stiffness
  • is the most nervous member but is thinking about you in the long seconds it takes for you to walk up there
  • “I made the right decision to keep her by my side, she loves the way I am and I love the way she is, omg she is getting closer, ahhhh she gets cuter and cuter every single day!”

Bambam

  • looks at yugyeom and smiles, “this is gonna be easyYYyyyYyy”
  • yugyeom gives him a serious look and nods towards the aisle causing bam to sigh
  • his breath catches in his throat when he sees yugyeom was motioning towards you
  • all his confidence leaves his body and he starts playing with his hands, eyes on yours
  • I can see him doing something goofy like making a heart with his arms, causing you to blush
  • got6 teases him by saying things like, “wow what a beauty!” , “She is out of bambam’s league” , “He can barely even stand to look at her beauty!”
  • “yah!” He whisper yells causing the boys to snicker
  • turns his attention back to you, noticing how close you rly are
  • his eyes examine your body and your dress
  • “You are so damn beautiful”

Yugyeom

  • is actually rly excited and confident like his eldest hyung
  • despite his height, stretches his neck to see over the crowd to watch you walk in
  • smile spreads across his face as soon as he sees you
  • like not just any smile
  • but that one smile when he’s laughing so hard with his hyung’s except this smile is all for you
  • he screams in his lil maknae scream, which causes all the other members to scream as well
  • starts swaying his head and body side to side while he waits for you
  • “ahhhh, I cant believe this, can you?”
  • waves and smiles like a child
  • whisper things to you about how excited he is and how beautiful you are as soon as you arrive at the alter
  • “I cant wait to act like young lovers for the rest of our lives, even when were an ugly old couple!”

-

thank you for the request, and once again, while some ideas are mine, the majority of this imagine is my friends ideas, for some reason I couldn’t think of anything :)

anonymous asked:

If you don't mind would you please be able to give an analysis of Woo's breakdown in the chapter 13? Or if there is one that already exists would you happen to know where I could find it? Thank You so much in advance and sorry for the trouble!

Wow prepare for a big ramble that probably makes no sense and is all conjecture. For me, it became insightful after my third reading, lol. 

The first thing you notice is that hoo boy Sangwoo does not like to be disobeyed or to be made the fool. That sounds obvious, but give me a second. You really see it in this chapter - just how fucking entitled he is, how shook he is by the idea of Bum leaving. He’s not even worried about the repercussions of his escape, legally etc - he just feels so damn personally betrayed by the idea of his disobeying him (’after everything I said? he ignored me??’). He’s even more disgustingly possessive than we thought.

I think that in general the breakdown - at least for me - reinforced the idea that once he began to progressively see his mum in Bum, he never really intended to kill him. The only thing that would change that was if Bum proved to be unbreakable and kept rebelling. So, as opposed to what i originally thought, I don’t think he was fucking with Bum with the intention of one day disposing of him, rather, he began to set him up for the long run. He wanted to keep him. But then its Bum’s first ‘betrayal’ that changes that. We see it in chapter seven - he intends to kill Bum for disrespecting him with his attempted escape (he’s thinking ‘it’s worthless, Bum will never submit’). So he’s strangling him, intending to kill, but then Bum drops the honorific:

When he’s dangling from the ceiling by his neck, though, he reverts back to “Sangwoo-ya,” without an honorific…In turn, that really explains Sangwoo’s expression there. In this situation, when Bum is literally choking to death, not in any situation to even think of manipulating him, he’s referring to Sangwoo familiarly? He’s calling Sangwoo fondly? Sangwoo’s surprise is completely understandable. (x)

Sangwoo is literally like ‘what the fuck’, even now, even as i’m doing this, you can still speak to me like that? Bum might have disobeyed him, but once again Sangwoo saw his potential, and the open opportunity for reform. Or should I say, the opportunity to mold. Bum still had potential to be obedient and submissive, and as long as there is room for Sangwoo to bang Bum into shape, he will punish, but let him live. All in order to preserve his wider goal of turning him into his perfect and submissive…*drum roll* : pseudo-momwife lol. You guessed it. And then the power rush he gets from the name-calling is so strong that he pops a boner and cums all over his feet?? Sangwoo is aroused by his power over people, and the sense of unconditional devotion to him. Ego. He likes feeling needed, and being submitted to. In fact he demands it. I had brought this up with a friend a while back, and now i can be pretty sure - he comes from his name because of his own ego being stroked (ill return to this).

Back to chapter 13, he thinks Bum really has escaped and he’s all you’ve done it now you little fucker, you’ve really pissed me off , you’re gonna get it. He doesn’t care that Bum has momwife potential because his injured ego outweighs his desire to recreate a newer and better (more on this later) version of his mother (I’ll kill him. I have to kill him now!!). Even more interesting is that directly after he says he has to kill Bum, he recalls his mum. This makes him angry and he punches the pole. I’ve been thinking about why he does that, and i’ve kind of done a 180 in my views since a week ago. I don’t think he remembered his mum because of guilt, or because the idea of killing Bum makes him feel guilty. I think he remembered her because his feeling of betrayal echoes something he felt in the past - with her. That is to say, I believe his mum might have ‘betrayed’ Sangwoo in a way that echoes Bum’s alleged escape. Whatever she did, he probably killed her for it.

Keep in mind that he doesn’t exactly head home with a change of heart after he remembers her. So needless to say, i’m flirting with the ‘Sangwoo killed his mum’ camp again. The guy is clearly obsessed with Bum - he honest to God looked deranged, losing his shit and then collapsing to the floor. It was relief, not in a ‘i’m not going to get caught yet’ way, but in a ‘this thing i value so much has returned to me’ kind of way. If he’s obsessed with this cheap, shallow recreation of her, just how obsessed was he with the real thing? The fact that he is projecting his mum onto everything around him shows how deep this obsession ran. It’s telling that even after all these years he is trying to recreate her, bring her back to life in the form of another person. A person who is easier to control. 

I’m thinking maybe he killed his mum because he couldn’t handle her disagreeing with him, or because he felt that she had stepped out of bounds as pertaining to his ‘rights’ over her. It would have been intolerable to him. We know the parents died together, that is to say, within a similar time frame. Maybe she expressed outrage at his killing his dad, and whatever form this outrage of hers took, he received it as an irredeemable insult. She rebelled in some way, and he ‘had’ to kill her for it. Dude’s cray enough to do it. The narrative has cleverly left it vague so that we’re unsure - but I don’t think his feelings for his mother were purely innocent attachment augmented by fatherly abuse. He was probably outside of the scope of normal in how he felt, and what he expected of her. Super possessive.

He wants Bum to have all the characteristics his mother did, without the undesirables. Sangwoo is breaking him bit by bit so that he can sift out his will to resist. He wants his mommy - but he wants her his way. Why does he crack a boner in 13? I think it was the combined imagery/memories of Bum’s submission (wanting Sangwoo sexually despite the mistreatment, calling out for him and needing him even when the pain is being inflicted by Sangwoo) along with some memory of his mother doing something similar. Maybe she called out to him in a similar way when he killed her…like i said, it’s all speculation. It doesn’t necessarily imply he was sexually attracted to his mother…he just gets off on power.

So the most dangerous thing about this guy? Yeah, I’m thinking that it’s his ego. And you know what - I think Koogi hinted this in the very beginning. Remember when he killed the girl, he said:

He victimizes himself and cannot handle an injured ego, he cannot handle people not submitting to him or thinking theyre ‘better than him’. And i think chapter 13 and his breakdown lends itself to this idea. I don’t think he wants bum to be his man-killing murder sidekick - he just wants his perfect mommy back to play into his hands as is convenient for him. My ideas are continually changing, and im always open to new interpretations. Chapter 14 might invalidate this completely lmao but that’s where i’m at right now! I hope this was helpful.

autisticponies  asked:

im glad you blocked that person, GOOD RIDDANCE LOL. im sorry you were harassed by that yucky person, but im really glad you might be seeing your friend soon!! anyway please stay safe and take care, ily friend (internet hugs!!) ❤️

i know wow what an awful person!!!!!!!!!!!! but yeah i am really happy to see my buddy thats super neat ^o^ thank you so much for always being positive and awesome and nice to me i hope you had a wonderful day!!!!! happy easter if you celebrate it, if not i hope ur day was awesome!!!!!!!! *internet hugs you back really big!!*

(thats us!!)

History Rant: Shinsengumi/Bakumatsu

Okay, it’s been a while since I asked about what you guys wanna know about Japanese history, and I haven’t forgotten you. I guess I’ve got a few thoughts bouncing around in my head so I’m just going to rant about the shinsengumi and the surrounding time period for a bit cause I feel like it. Uhh if you need sources and want to read more, I could probably find some for you, but this is all from my brain lmao. I repeat: this is definitely not even remotely everything I could say on the subject nor is it researched or sourced okay please read this post lightly and not as a scholarly article!!! That being said, DO feel free to use the information below as a springboard for your own interest and research. 

This is my absolute favorite time period in Japanese history. When I was about 14 (in the ancient year 2000), I discovered the shinsengumi via Rurouni Kenshin. Sure they were the enemies, but I wanted to know who these people were and at the time there was little to no information on them. Then I just started learning a lot about Japanese history and taking Japanese classes, lol it was a gateway drug. Contrary to what everyone might think, I could not chose anyone in the Shinsengumi as my favorite historical figure, but I love them like something out of a really cool story. I think history is supremely interesting; often more interesting than novels. I hope you’ll enjoy learning a bit about them too. 

First of all, a brief history. You have to know that the Shinsengumi (which just means the new group/squad/whatever) came around in a time of civil war. After ~200 years of isolation, the Tokugawa shogunate and its system of keeping the warlords under its control had turned the balance in economy and social structure upside down so that the people on top (the samurai) were the poorest. The shogunate itself also became weak and ineffective, and by the 1850s when Perry showed up to force Western trade on Japan there was legit NOTHING to be done except accept his offer or face utter defeat in the face of a West that had advanced while Japan hid in its own borders with minimal outside contact. 

Two major factions came out of this: one for opening to the west, and one for expelling the foreigners (most notably headed by the Choshu, Satsuma, and Tosa clans, who were not among those in favor of the shogunate). The second one later came to support getting rid of the shogunate and reestablishing the emperor and became known as “sonno joi” which is easier to type than all of that. 

So where do the shinsengumi come into this?  They were formed from a bunch of ronin to protect the xenophobic wimpy emperor in Kyoto (aka hold him captive) and uphold the laws of the also wimpy shogunate. Originally they were stationed outside of Kyoto, but were eventually given permission to police the city. 

And they were AWFUL. Straight-up, the worst. They were given a lot of nicknames, most famous of which is the Wolves of Mibu. They hunted down and slaughtered the emperor’s supporters.

They had very strict rules, which on the surface seem almost honorable - following bushido (which is just a bunch of bs made up by the ailing upper class btw), no personal fights, no personal income, can’t leave the shinsengumi - but they resulted in a lot of members having to commit suicide or having to die in battle. And they did mercilessly enforce their code. An example that comes to mind is Yamanami Keisuke, who was a vice commander of the shinsengumi like HIjikata, and had to commit seppuku when he tried to leave. 

The Ikedaya incident aka map 6 is what really got them famous and made people want to join them. They crushed a group of sonno joi supporters and probably?? prevented them from setting fire to Kyoto. 

The shinsengumi are really famous and romanticised today, as you well know. Like most of Japanese history, the bad parts are glossed over! But I do love them, so I can’t say anything. 

Returning to the general view of historical events, what I think is really interesting about this time period is how things ended up. Sonno Joi did win in the end. The shogunate gave up power, and they reestablished the emperor, but—! The emperor’s supporters moved the imperial hq and set him up as a puppet ruler, making themselves the actual ruling council (aka just like the shogunate) and then began a very seriously intense westernizing of Japan! Expel the foreigners indeed, haha. 


UM, I want to post something more in-depth about the swords and their characters and stuff but I’m still thinking about it >__> so you get this shitty nonsense instead. About 50% history, 50% my thoughts and JUST Hijikata and Okita for right now bc they are kind of like the BIG 4 popular sword group (sorry Nagasone) and also (my) faves. Although I feel like I wanna add Kondo he’s just kinda boring and then I also wanna write about Sakamoto Ryoma (who Kondo was executed for killing lol IF HE DID???) but I haven’t even mentioned him thus far and tbh he deserves his own post. 

Hijikata Toshizo, Vice Commander, devil creature?, hot guy

Here he is, wow look at this handsome fella. Yes that’s right this is my icon. I have read that Kane’s personality is based on him (in the same way that Yam emulates Okita) but I don’t think so at all. Mostly because Kane is a stupid muffin and actual Hijikata was known to be a serious samurai guy. Just a farmer guy (and kind of .. pharmacist?) being the best he can be. He was mostly in charge of keeping things in order in the shinsengumi, and also did a lot of interrogation… and may have done some very, very gruesome things. But also, he wrote shitty haiku, which is p charming. Apparently he was incredibly handsome and people fell in love with him like all the time and I know that’s true bc I’m also in love with him. 

After everything, he kept on being the best and led what was left of the shinsengumi after Kondo was executed, trying to fight the new government. But he was gunned down in the battle of Hakodate (lmfao the Kane/Hori scene in map 1-1 which tells you the order of these…. is none). 

I’m pretty sure that Kane’s design and personality are LARGELY influenced by the more romanticised versions of Hijikata in things such as Hakuouki (which I haaaate, no offense). But I like to think that a lot of it comes from him being a sword from a proper name, just without an real antiquity or heritage. Like Hijikata is a farmer-born ronin following bushido and upholding the samurai lifestyle, Kane is kind of a weird excited kid who is a fancy sword…? Well, maybe it’s a stretch. Just aiming really high and being super hot.

Horikawa is kind of a mystery though. I think his outfit at least stems from the more modernized Hijikata you can see above, but I can’t really get the rest. Like I said I didn’t like.. do research for this post, so I’d be interested in hearing other opinions or ideas! 

Okita Souji, 1st squad leader, child prodigy, eventual cat-hater

OTHER THAN artists’ renders?? this is the best photo I’ve ever been able to find and I’m not sure if they ever confirmed that it’s Okita. 

What does he look like, who knows.  Regardless…  he was not beautiful like Hijikata, but we can keep pretending. This bitch was so good at swords when he was a kid he had mastered like all the things by the time he was 18 and became an instructor himself. He was the leader of the 1st uh, troop of the Shinsengumi and famous for being really fucking good at stabbing dudes in the fucking neck and also being a generally funny happy guy. I’ve read he liked to play with kids too, which is p cute (or creepy). He’s like always paired with Hijikata (in EVERYTHING) but idek if they were friends. He had tuberculosis as everyone knows, and it’s said to have been discovered when he collapsed during the Ikedaya incident, but the cause of his collapse is debatable.  Still, as a result he had a very very short life, and so died outside of the fighting in a hospital at about about 25ish? He tried to murder a cat he kept seeing in the garden and he couldn’t, and that really pissed him off. 

What can I say about okitagumi?? It’s already well-known that Kashuu looks fancy because the sword broke and couldn’t be repaired. I don’t need to address that or really anything about him. Except that I love him. Both he and Yams look p young because Okita was very young himself, so I like to imagine they both reflect his age despite their own age/origins/etc bc they have such a deep connection with him. I also hope that every time they’re pictured with cats, it’s bc of the above reason. 

But YAMS??? Now I have at least one thought about his design. Of course he was made to reflect Okita bc he looks up to him so much. But…????

The aforementioned (prettier movie/ova version of) Rurouni Kension version Okita Souji is always the one I imagine bc just….!?? Whenever I look at Yams this is legit all I see. If you have not seen this movie, then please watch him in action here in this clip of the Ikedaya incident, just the first minute or so. I’m right, right? You know I’m right. Except for the clear gap in design details, Yams looks like he’s copying him 100%. Also his bubbly/kind personality that gets a little bit creepy/idgaf in battle is soo the stereotypical Okita personality, it’s so good.


Anyway, PLEASE feel free to send me your thoughts/theories or requests or anything like that. I’d love to hear what you think! 


Suggested reading:

So if you’ve made it this far, congratulations on reading this… masterpiece. I wouldn’t consider it a really good reference or anything (PLEASE), and I honestly just wrote it bc I felt like it. Future history info will be more informative with actual research and references/sources, and I’ll probably do another, more educational post on the Shinsengumi and the time period in the future. HOWEVER for now, if you are very interested in the Shinsengumi and want some actual intellectual and organized information, I URGE you to please read this book: 

Shinsengumi: The Shoguns Last Samurai Corps by Romulus Hillsborough

It is THE English book on the Shinsengumi. I recently bought it again for my kindle (I left my hardback copy in america lol) and it is just as great as I remember. Seriously worth the read. 

Big News- C.H.

Your best friend Calum has been there with you through it all. When you call him up to tell him some big news, you had no idea how much your lives were about to change.

Wow sorry this is actually really long, but I just let my mind take me wherever it wanted to go. I am pretty proud of this one, but I wanna know what you guys think! Feel free to leave some constructive criticism so I can write some better stuff for you guys! xx

Word Count: 3148 (shit that is really long lol)

YOUR POV

You and Calum have been best friends for as long as you can remember. Your moms had been best friends, so Calum had always just been there. You two were inseparable as kids, and even now, in your 20s, you were still a close-knit pair. He had been there through everything. Every bad grade, every broken bone, every broken heart. You could count on Calum for anything. Now that you were older, Calum was your go to drinking buddy. If you had good news, you would celebrate with a drink. If you had bad news, you would cry with a drink. He was always down for a good party as long as there was alcohol involved. You two were kind of crazy together, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Calum was someone that you could tell anything, and you wouldn’t be worried that he would judge you because he never would. He always understood you and loved you for who you were.

You hoped that that was still true as you dial Calum’s number; you needed someone who would be there for you right now, especially right now.
You call Calum, crying. “(Y/N)? What’s wrong?” He knew right away that something was not right. You tried to talk to him between the sobs but you could barely get a word out. “I have news, pretty big news.” “Good or bad? Calum asks hesitantly. You can’t really answer at this point because you are crying too much. “(Y/N), I’m on my way over to your house. And I’ll bring the vodka.” This only made you cry harder. You had no idea how you were going to tell Calum what was going on. You hadn’t even processed it yourself. Soon, you hear a car screeching to a stop in your driveway. You bury your face in the blanket you were wrapped up in as Calum comes in through the front door. You hear him go straight to the kitchen to get glasses for your drinks. You finally look up when you feel him plop down on the other side of the couch. He tries to hand you a glass of vodka with ice, but you just shake your head. This is how Calum knows this is something serious; you never turned down a drink with him. He looks into your tear-filled eyes and prompts you to start talking. You start to cry again as you say, “Matt and I broke up.” He scoots over on the couch and wraps an arm around your shoulders. “(Y/N) what happened? You guys were so good together.” Your shoulders shake as you tell him that you got into a fight about having kids. “Kids?” Calum asks, “Isn’t it a little early to start talking about having kids? You are only 21. There will be plenty of time to talk about having kids in the future.” At this, the tears start falling more steadily down your face. “He said he never wants to have kids. Never. How can I stay with someone who never wants to have kids, Cal?” He pulls you to his chest, the tears now soaking the grey shirt that he is wearing. He kisses your forehead as you sob into his chest. “So it was bad news then,” Calum says. He just assumed that that must be the only thing you had to tell him. You shake your head, and he looks at you confused. “You and Matt broke up. That sounds like pretty bad news to me. (Y/N), you need this drink more than I do.” You just shake your head and push the glass away again. “I can’t,” you say barely louder than a whisper. “Why?” Calum asks, not understanding why you don’t want to drink. You look him in the eyes, wishing you had that liquid courage to say this out loud. “I’m pregnant. That’s the big news,” you whisper, looking at his face to gauge his reaction. His eyes get really wide and his mouth keeps opening like he is going to say something, but then it closes again. Finally, he mutters, “That fucker.” You start to cry more and Calum just pulls you into him again.

After what seems like hours of crying, you are finally out of tears; there is nothing left to cry. You just feel drained and sleepy. Calum looks down at you and wipes the tears off of your face. “(Y/N), I hope you know that even though the idea of kids scares the shit out of me, I will be there for you throughout this whole thing. Anything you need, I will be there as your best friend and even as a babysitter. Matt is such a dick for breaking up with you because you are pregnant with his baby. That’s so fucked up, but I just want you to know that I am here for you.” A small smile appears on your face. “Thanks Cal. I am so lucky to have you in my life.” You close your eyes and start to drift off before you can see the way Calum looks down at you, like he couldn’t imagine ever holding someone else in his arms like this.

*Nine Months Later*

Calum is wincing as you squeeze his hand to the point of breaking. “(Y/N), you are almost there, you can do this. Just a little bit longer.” You scream as you push one last time, and crying with a sense of relief that your baby girl has been safely delivered. Calum, his face white and sweaty, looks like he might pass out, but the nurse hands him your baby girl. They usually only let relatives in the delivery room, but Calum is your family. He has been there throughout every part of this pregnancy, from the late night cravings to the false contractions that terrified you. He was there to feel this baby kick for the first time, and even sang to your stomach—Calum had always had such an amazing voice—because he read that the baby could hear what was going on in the outside world. Right now, he was looking at you, your baby girl in his arms, and he looks scared and awed at the same time. He starts to get teary-eyed as he passes the baby to you. Holding your daughter for the first time, looking at her beautiful blue eyes and dark hair on her tiny little head, you knew nothing would ever matter as much as her. “Linley Kae, welcome to the world baby girl.”

*Years Later*

“Lin!! Come to your room! We need to get a bag packed. You are going to stay with Uncle Cal while I go on my business trip!” Your little girl comes running into the room. “Yay! I love staying with Uncle Cal!” she shouts as she runs around the room. You giggle as you look at how pretty your little girl is growing up to be. She has gorgeous blue eyes; it’s like looking into crystal-clear water. Her long, dark, straight hair falls around her face and down her back. She is growing up so fast, and it’s kind of scaring you how fast the time is flying by. It seems like just yesterday you were holding her for the first time, watching her take her first steps for the first time, hearing her first word, which just happened to be Cal; you had never seen him so happy in your entire life. Now she had grown into this beautiful little girl who was starting school soon. Watching her grab some of her favorite clothes and throwing them into a bag makes you happy and sad at the same time. This would be the first time who were leaving her for an extended period of time. You would be gone three days, and it scared you to leave her. You knew Calum would be amazing with her; you trusted him with Linley as much as you trusted yourself with her, but it is still scary leaving your baby girl with someone else for the first time. After she was all packed up, you got her into the car and buckled up in her booster seat. The drive to Calum’s was pretty short; he had a place not too far away, which was nice in case you needed help with Linley. At first, Calum seemed scared and nervous around Lin, but now his face breaks into a huge grin whenever he sees her. He has really been amazing with her; he is pretty much like a dad to her. You have been so lucky to have someone like Calum to always be there for the both of you. You get to Calum’s and see him standing in the doorway of his home. You wave to him and get out of the car to help Linley out of her car seat. She is already running toward Calum when you call out, “I love you baby girl!” She comes running back and wraps her arms around your middle. “I love you Mommy! I’ll see you soon!” She runs past Calum and into the house. “Cal, thank you so much for taking her for a couple days. She has been talking about staying with Uncle Cal for days now. You better be careful; she might not want to come back to live with me once I get back,” you say with a laugh. He gives you a hug, one of those hugs where you just want to stay in their arms forever and never let go. “Have fun on your trip, (Y/N). And don’t worry, Linley will be safe with me.” You smile and look into those beautiful dark eyes of his. “I know she will be.”

CALUM’S POV

I watch (Y/N) pull out of the driveway and drive away. She is leaving me with little Linley for a couple of days. This will be the first time I am watching over her for this long. Usually it’s just like a couple hours if (Y/N) has a work emergency or something. I am kind of nervous, but I have been helping (Y/N) out with Linley for a long time now. I used to be terrified to watch her. I was only 22 when she was born; I didn’t know anything about being a parent. I know that I wasn’t Linley’s actual dad (that guy was a douchebag who wanted nothing to do with her), but I felt the same responsibility to her as any real parent would, and that scared the shit out of me. (Y/N) was so young; she needed help, and I wasn’t going to let her do this alone. The first time I ever held Linley, in the hospital after she was just born, I knew this little girl would have me wrapped around her finger. When her little hand wrapped itself around my finger, I was a goner. This little girl had my heart, well part of it anyway (someone else already had a tight grip on my heart, whether she knew it or not). But that didn’t stop me from being scared. (Y/N) would leave me with this little baby for an hour while she ran an errand or two, and I would be too nervous to do anything but hold her. I would just sit on the couch, holding a crying baby until (Y/N) got back. Eventually, we warmed up to each other. Her first word was Cal. Her first word was MY name. I was so happy that when I left (Y/N)’s place, I actually cried. I never told her that though; she probably would have laughed at me. Over the years, Linley started asking to come over to Uncle Cal’s place. I felt privileged that this little girl loved me that much. I loved her even more if that was possible. I would have never thought that I could be like a dad at such a young age, but I am so happy that things happened the way they did. I did feel bad that (Y/N) didn’t have Linley’s father to help out, but I was kind of relieved that he was out of her life. He seemed like a good guy at first, but I had never really liked him all that much. However, that may have been for a completely different reason all together. It was always just (Y/N) and me, the two of us against the world; it was hard to have to share her. Now Linley is with us two, the three of us happy together.

I go to find where little Linley ran off to. She is in the room I had designated as her room. There are toys in there for her and little twin bed with pink sheets. There is even a princess canopy hanging over the bed. I had put this together for her whenever she had to come stay with me. She hugs me when she sees me. “Come play with me, Cal!” I laugh at how cute she is, and sit in the little pink chair in the corner of the room. We play for hours before it’s time for dinner. I make her a bowl of mac and cheese, and then I take her upstairs to get her ready for bed. After a bath and brushing teeth, I tuck her into bed. I turn off the light, and I hear a little squeal. “Uncle Cal, I’m scared of the dark.” I thought this might happen, so I turned on a little princess castle night light I had bought. Linley smiled and asked if I could stay with her until she fell asleep. I smiled, “I will even sing you to sleep if you want.” She nodded her head and clapped her hands. I laughed and sat down on the side of the bed. I sang to her like I used to when she wasn’t even born yet. Soon she is drifting off to sleep, so I tuck her into the blankets and kiss her forehead. She rolls over and mutters quietly, “Goodnight Daddy.” I freeze. She has never called me that before. I’m sure it was just the grogginess of sleep talking. She is probably just curious about her own dad and got confused. But there is something inside of me that feels like it’s clicking into place. I didn’t know I needed this until this very moment; I want to be her dad. I want to take her to her first day of school. I want to teach her how to ride a bike. I want to teach her how to drive a car. I want to warn the boys that they better treat her right or else. I have never been this sure about anything in my life, expect maybe being in love. I am 100 percent sure that I am in love and this little girl is one of the many reasons I know that it’s true. I had to say something before it was too late.

The three days I had Linley went by so fast; I felt jipped. I wanted more time with her. I hear (Y/N)’s car pull into the driveway, and I grab Lin’s bag as she runs outside to see her mom. (Y/N) picks Linley up and almost starts crying when she sees her. I need this. I need this in my life. (Y/N) puts Linley in the car and gets her all buckled up. I put her bag in the back of the car and walk over to (Y/N). “Cal, thank you so much! She can’t stop talking about how much fun she had. She wasn’t too much trouble was she?” “No, not at all. That kid is an angel,” I smile sadly. It’s now or never, Calum, I think to myself.  “Hey, there is something I have to say that I have been wanting to say for a really long time now.” (Y/N) looks up into your eyes, her stunning eyes piercing through me. “Yeah, what’s up?” she asks hesitantly. I take a deep breath before I start. “(Y/N), I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember. When I found out you were going to have Linley, I was scared because I knew I loved you, but I didn’t think I would be cut out to be a parent. I didn’t think I would be able to be a responsible guy with a little girl; I liked to party too much. But now, everything has changed. Linley called me Dad the other day, and sure it was an accident, but I realized that that is what I want, (Y/N). I want you and Linley to be mine. I want you to be my wife, and I want Linley to be my daughter. And I know I’m probably scaring the shit out of you right now, but feel free to cut me off—(Y/N)’s lips crash into mine before I can even get out another word. I am shocked at first, but then I kiss her back hard. Finally, she pulls away from the kiss, tears in her eyes, and laughs. God I have always loved her laugh. “Cal, I knew from the first time I saw you holding Linley that you were meant to be her dad. That you were meant to be mine. We have been through everything together, and you have always been there for me. And Linley looks up to you and loves you so much. This is what I want too. I have never wanted anything more.” “(Y/N), I know I don’t have a ring or anything, but marry me.” She just nodded before I wrap her in my arms, and I am never going to let go.

YOUR POV

*One Year Later*

You are sitting on top of the toilet seat in the bathroom, thinking about all that has happened in the past year while waiting for the timer to go off. Calum proposing; Linley helping you pick out a wedding dress (“You look like a princess, Mommy!”); Linley walking down the aisle, throwing flower petals and twirling in her dress; Calum adopting Linley to be her real dad. Everything has led up to this moment, waiting, just waiting. Finally the timer goes off. You sit up straight, suddenly nervous, before you look down at the pregnancy test. You smile as you see the two little pink lines. You can’t wait to tell Calum. He might be surprised, but hopefully he will be as happy as you feel right now. You hear his car pull into the driveway. You run out of the bathroom and outside to meet him. You jump into his arms and he laughs as he spins you around. “Why do you look so happy (Y/N)?” You smile before you say, “I have news, pretty big news actually.”

Cross My Heart

Request:  @rosesbabygirl  asked: Can you do an image where you are Sam and deans little sister and you go on a hunt and you get back to the bunker you have a nightmare about Dean dying and you a screaming his name in your sleep and he comes running but finds out your sleeping and wakes you and comforts you and you say you don’t want to lose him and he’s like that never gonna happen I’m your big brother and just aw I can lol if that makes any sense wow that was long sorry!

A/N: Sorry this took so long!  I hope you like it!  :) 

Words: 1913

  I walked through the garage door, absolutely exhausted and still covered in the slimy goo the shifter I had taken down early this morning had left me with. My bed was calling my name and I desperately wanted to answer it. The job had taken just over a week.  The first job my brother’s, Sam and Dean, had ‘allowed’ me to take on my own.  And a part of me, a very large part, now wished that they hadn’t.

  My body ached. The large gash that had been torn into my arm was throbbing and badly in need of stitches. “Sam?” I called out into the bunker.

  “Are you freaking kidding me?” The angry tone of Dean’s voice echoed through the library as I could hear his heavy footsteps coming towards me.  I flinched, knowing that a lecture of some kind was coming my way.

 “A week?  It’s been a friggin’ week, Y/N! What, you couldn’t pick up the phone?” The lecture had already begun before he even had his sights set on me.  He walked towards me, hands on his hips in a very big-brother fashion.  That is, until he looked up at me.  

  “Jesus,” he exclaimed, running towards me and grabbing onto my wounded arm and immediately applying as much pressure as he could to it.  “Sam!” he screamed out into the hallway as he guided me towards the Library and into a chair.

  “It’s really not that bad, Dean.” I attempted to shrug him off, but the look in his eyes as he glared at me assured me that that wasn’t going to be possible.  Taking a seat, I resigned myself to what was to come. Sam’s loud footsteps were running up to us from the hall, his first aid and patch up kit tucked neatly in his arm as if he were a running-back in the SuperBowl.  

  Dean slammed down a bottle of vodka in front of me.  I grabbed it quickly, unscrewing the cap and pouring it onto my arm, attempting to only wince slightly as it burned.  “Drink up, kid.  This is gonna hurt worse than it looks.”  

  Looking my oldest brother in the eye, I could see his compassion and knew he was telling me the truth.  His hand on my shoulder squeezed ever so slightly as his lips curled into a reassuring smirk.  Sam took the seat next to me, starring at me expectantly until I gave him a slight nod, letting him know that I was as ready as I was going to be.

  Twelve stitches and three-quarters of the bottle of vodka later, and I was all patched up.  Slightly woozy, yes, but my arms was stitched shut and the blood flowing from it had begun to slow.  

  “I need a shower,” I said, plucking a bit of discarded shifter flesh from my arm and stiffling my gag reflex.

  “Y/N,” Sam sighed. “I just stitched you up. Take a bath. Relax.”

  “No way, Sammy. I’m not going to take a bath and soak in this shit.”  I could see Sam’s jaw visibly clench at my response.  “I’ll be careful. Cross my heart.”  I gave my brother a smile.

  “Yeah, like you were careful on the job?” Dean bit at me.  

  “Here we go,” I rolled my eyes, sighing.

  “Damn right, here we go.  No more solo jobs.  That’s it. End of discussion.”  

   I could feel my pupils dilate and my eyes seem to bug out of my skull.  “Dean, you do realize that I’m 23 now, right?  You were hunting shifters and worse when you were a lot younger than me.”

  “Yeah well, it’s different.”

  “How?!” I dared him, my voice just below a yell.

  “It just is!” He shouted back, just as forcefully.

   I rolled my eyes again as I turned on my heal, grabbed my bag from the table and headed for my bedroom with my intentions set on my shower.  Slamming my door shut behind me, I turned the lock, ensuring my privacy as I stripped and walked directly into my bathroom.  I turned on the hot water and leaned against the sink, allowing the steam to build up and envelop me.  I took a deep breath and stepped into the tub, feeling the warm water drip down my back.  Every muscle began to relax as I washed the remnants of the last 24 hours off of me.

  The stench of the shifter, the sweat of the chase, the stink of the bad motel bed, and the grunge of the road trip all finally washed away.  After scrubbing and washing myself clean, I switched the water off reluctantly.  My towel was still warm and comforting as I dried myself off and wrapped my hair up in it, turban style, to let it dry.  I walked over to my dresser, grabbing my pajama pants and a tank top and throwing them on.  After combing my hair out and taking a few deep breaths, I unlocked my door and headed back out to the boys, knowing that they’d either be in the library or the map room planning their next job.

  I pulled out a chair and threw my leg over it, resting my arms on the top of the back of it.  “What’s the next job?”  

 Sam looked up at me, surprised for a moment, and darted his eyes over to Dean who showed no response.  “Uh, well, get this,” Sam began. “A few miles-”

  “No way,” Dean said calmly.  Sam and I both turned to him expectantly.  “You’re not coming,” he said matter-of-factly and never taking his eyes out of the book he was nose deep in.

  I looked over at Sammy.  “Tell me about the job.”

  “Nope,” He said, closing his laptop. “I’m staying out of this one.”  He grabbed an apple from the bowl in the center of the table before standing up.  “This is between you two,” he uttered as he walked away.  I shot my eyes over to Dean.

  “Sam was hunting before my age, too.”  I told him.

  “Not by my choice.”

  “I’m so glad I was in such a hurry to come home,” I stood up, shoving the chair at the table and jostling Dean as I did so.  “What a nice loving dictatorship I walked back into.”  My arms were crossed over my chest and I was trying extremely hard not to cry.

  “What’s the deal, Y/N?  Hunting’s never been that important to you before,” he shouted.  “Just sit this one out.”

  “I don’t need protecting, Dean.”  The tears that I had been holding at bay came cascading unbidden down my cheeks.  

  He looked up at me, taking in my tears and cocking his head, confused.  “You never cry.  What happened?  What aren’t you telling us?”  His interrogation was over as I turned around yet again and walked back towards my room.  “Goodnight,” I whispered.

  Closing my door behind me, I threw myself into my bed.   The pain that shot down from my shoulder to my elbow reminded me of my fresh stitches and torn skin.  Quickly, I turned around and onto my other side as I did my best to close my eyes and fall asleep.


*   *   *

  “You’re just a burden!” he yelled with his hand wrapped around my neck, pushing me harder into the wall behind me.

  “Never should’ve been born.  Everyone you love dies.  Even me.”  His words poured from his mouth like venom as tears sprang to my eyes an my feet struggled to find purchase against the wall.  

 His other hand slowly raised, allowing me the opportunity to see the crude yet sharp blade clutched in his fingers.  He smiled almost wickedly as he rested the blade across his neck.  “This is your fault, Y/N.” He hissed.

  I shook my head no, letting go of the hand that was slowly suffocating me as I moved to grab at the knife and pull it away from him.  

  “No use,” he said.  “I’m going to die.  And it’s going to be all,” he paused dramatically. “Your fault.”  He dragged the blade across his throat, smiling as he did so.

  As he relinquished his grasp on my throat, I fell to the ground, sobbing, as I watched the blood flow copiously from his throat.  He knelt down in front of me, holding his finger up to the wound as he stared deeply into my eyes.

  “What’s wrong, Y/N?” he asked, innocently.  “Give your big brother a hug.”  He lunged for me as I screamed his name until my throat was raw.

  “Dean!”

*   *    *

  “Hey!” I heard him shouting.  I could feel his warm hands on my shoulders but I couldn’t see him.  I could still feel his blood on my hands and still pouring down my chest as I continued screaming.

  “Y/N!” his voice rang out, full of concern and a trace of panic.  “Y/N, open your eyes.”  His voice was calm now as he cradled my head to his chest.  I could hear his heart beat.  Feel him breathing against my face.  I pried my eyes open, taking in my surroundings.  I was in my room.  In my bed.  And Dean was sitting in front of me, holding me, cradling me.

  “You with me?” He asked as he held me away from him, looking me straight in the eye.

  “Dean,” I whimpered, pulling him back into a hug and burying my face in his neck, if only to reassure myself that he wasn’t dying in front of me. Again.

  “You’re okay, you’re alright,” he said, pressing a protective kiss to the top of my head.  “I got you.”

  I took a deep breath and set up, pulling my hands through my hair and beginning to calm myself down.

  “Y/N, what happened?”  His eyes were earnest if not scared.

  “It was you,” I whispered, holding back.  He looked at me again, puzzled.  

  “The shifter I was hunting.  He looked like you.  Tortured me.  Not physically, really.  It was just that-” I hesitated, unsure.  “He was you.  And he kept killing you.  Well himself.  You. In front of me,” I gasped, recalling the multitude of grisly deaths I witnessed my eldest brother go through. “Over and over.”  I shuttered at the memory.

  “Y/N, look at me.”  I did as he asked, tears still streaming from my eyes.  “I’m not going anywhere, okay?  I’m right here. Right with you.  Just like always.”  He gave me a smirk and I attempted to return it.  

  “I don’t want to lose you, Deano.  And I did.  So many times.” My breath caught in my throat and I did my best to hide it.

  “Never gonna happen.”  His hand pushed my hair back behind my ear as he pulled me into another hug, stroking the back of my head as he did so.  “I’m not going to leave you.  Never, you hear me?”  

  I nodded against his shoulder.

  “Now come on,” he said, releasing me and standing up next to my bed. “Get some sleep.  We’re heading out tomorrow.”

  “We?” I questioned mousily.

  “Yeah, we.  Hey, I promised you I wasn’t going to leave you.  I’m keeping it.”  He smiled at me and gave me a short wink as he took a seat in the chair at my desk.

  “Now get some shut eye,” he demanded as I laid back down and rested my head on my pillow to the sound of my big brother, Dean, singing “Hey Jude” until I fell asleep.

Hello! I’ve reached 300+ followers, which is insane bc I reached 100 in august. ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ I’d like to thank everyone, even if I don’t follow everyone back, I still appreciate each one of you. Also, I would like to make special msg’s for some people!

first, hello-hobi the wonwoo to my mingu. I love you so much Liana!! We’ve been married for three years so ofc i do. thanks for reblogging all my shit and always thinking of me in ur tags, omg u have a tag for me too. ( ˘ ³˘)♥ thank u babes. 

second !! syubie-hyung Jacqueline! Hi :)) we don’t talk as much ( i don’t rlly talk to anyone regularly.) but! you are so nice to me and you use my name a lot it makes me really happy. thank you for being so nice to me ily~ ( •⌄• ू )✧

third donghyuun hi hi. we haven’t talked for a little while, but i remember all our convo’s and i think you’re really nice so i will include you! thank you for being v nice and welcoming and i enjoy talking to you uwu

okay fourth is a bunch of ppl assgodjimin , jhwanie , bangtansalsa , byunnieboy, wonwoo-wow , sunflowerseokmin , lee-chanyounot. Most of these people i’ve talked to once or twice or not at all lol , or are just people i remember :) thank you for being nice, and for tagging me in things and for being cute ! (❁´ω`❁)

okay now for the dreadful long list of ppl. ( if i don’t include you i am so sorry, i’m almost following 600 ppl i am stressed af doing this. ) I am multifandom af so lots of blogs!!

bold = mutuals ! 

# - C :

17carrot , 17dad , 7ontheblocktan , aestaegi , ah-gginda , allaboutohsehun , amazing-hoseok , assgodjimin , awwfuckno , bae-taehyvng , baekery-byuns , bangtansalsa , beingwithsuga , big-lion-gohn , blushdino , bomlicious , btsgf , bubblevernon , bwiseoks , byunghunny , byunnieboy , changkyon , chanyeols-wife-baekhyun , choco-chip-kookie

D - I :

daesbulge , donghyuun , eunwoos , fairyjunhui , femaleidols , figbread , flowerchildwonwoo , fruityoongi , gyugyu-bear , goloveexo , hanbingsu , heliumdooly , hello-hobi , heugbaegui , hmuhoseok , hobihop , hobismiles , holyjunhui , honeyandsuga , hongbeanbong , hoshiiya , hugtae , hvnsouls ,  illsik , infinipie , iridescentwoo , ishabera .

J - M :

jackseons , jeezjimin , jenissas , jenissisgf , jeonghanshalo , jeongjan , jhoonsgf, jhwanie , jihoops , jimbllejams , jimindick , jiminsvocals , jinned , jonghyuns-flat-ass , jungkooksarms , junhuisbutt , kibum-san , kim-taehug , kingdongsung , kmsgyu , leader-jb , lee-chanyounot , leetaemanwhore , lhoe , lovecheol , michael-hyung , milkyjihoon , minghowcute , mingyugotnofeel , minpeach , minsug , monchims , morningbaby , mundimon , myangelseokmin.

N - Q :

 noflexwonwoo , ohparkjimin , orange-sandeul , pabodae , pandamallowfan, pangguk , parkjimens , peachyhansol , potatogoon , princelyjeonghan , prncessjin , pyojamas.

R - V :

r0vix , raincheol , rapgodwei , rowinglow , rxkhyun , sadboynerd , taetaesbff , sanghyugh , seokm-n , seokmoo , seoulmofo , seventeens-noona , sex-tan , shinelikeastarlight ,  shyjimin , sleepycoups , smoljjong , spearjimint , strawberryhansol , sughyun , sunflowerseokmin , sunggu-ssi , sunqkwan , supa-luv , swirlywoozi , syubie-hyung , taestylips , the8ght , toddpogg , trashyseventeen , ttaeandkookies , ultimatekpoptrash , umma-jr , vernonture, vernsol17 , veryotl , vnons.

W - Z : 

wonswooning , wangjackseons , wonkuhn , wonoodle , wonwoh , wonwoo-wow , wonwootang , woomingyu , wooribin , woozisbutt , wunwu , xero-control , xiumanizer , yeolipop , yoo-ngie , yoobean , yoongirolls , youmakeme-woozi , yugyeomsbff , yulkyoon , zelo , zelooi .

finally (❁°͈▵°͈) i ‘m done. also i’m so v sorry if i missed you. it was rlly hard to choose ppl. i mostly just used ppl with usernames i recognized the most. also through this journey i realized some ppl unfollowed me i see u. oKAY THANK YOU SO MUCH!! THIS TOOK ME LIKE 1 ½ HOURS. i love u (´▽`ʃƪ)♡ 

ps. if u ever wanna talk to me just msg me bc i am friendless even w/ 300 followers. 

I’m not a cashier nor have I worked before but this is to say thank you and sorry for those who serve others but under appreciated by society. 

My parents have always acted rude towards cashiers/waiters/waitress or anyone who serves them. Even towards me when they ask me of something. Whenever I’m beside them I feel so bad for the person whom my parents treated badly. I’ll ask my parents to respect them and be patient, but well, they never listen. Every time my parents finished paying or ordering food, I’ll say thank you or sorry to those who had served us. My parents would always ask why I would do that. Duh????  You treated them badly????? 

Parents: They weren’t up to standards, that’s why. 

Me: What?  That doesn’t give you the excuse to be rude. They SERVE US. WE THANK THEM. BE NICE TO THEM. GET IT? 

Parents : No??  Because they serve us, so it’s in our right to point it out. 

Me: You don’t have to be rude to “point it out”. 

And I’d get a lecture. Wow. I remember once, in a coffee shop I almost start a fight with my mom because the waitress didn’t know if the cake has alcohol or not and my mom was making a REALLY big fuss. Sometimes I wish I am a stranger lol. 

To those who serve people, I admire you for your patience and thank you for your services. Without you guys, I’m not sure if I’d find or buy my things so easily. THANK YOU. AND SORRY. Sincerely from my heart. 

anonymous asked:

Hi! Do you think you could do a bts reaction, like the roles are switched, your the idol and he's the fan and when he meets you at your group's fan meeting or something ♡♡

A/N: Awww how cute!!

Jin: He would be so excited to meet his idol crush. He would dress up for the occasion and even bring you a rose. When he appears in front of you, he would introduce himself as a huge fan of yours while bowing and handing you the flower. He would blush and tell you that you’re very pretty and charming.

Originally posted by oh-suga-suga

Suga: This little shit would be dying on the inside, but you wouldn’t know it. He would play it super cool and act like he meets celebrities all the time. When you greet him, he would tell you that he really likes your music and respects your many talents.

Originally posted by yoonkooks

J-Hope: He would be the happy ball of sunshine that he always is, except take that and times it by ten. He would smile so widely and be super giggly. When it’s his turn to see you, he would start talking immediately, not wanting to waste a second with you. He would tell you his name and say how much he loves you and just shower you with compliments. He would give you a cute plushie as a gift.

Originally posted by jimyoong

Rap Monster: He would play it fairly cool. Whatever your native language was, he would make sure he could converse with you in it. He would talk about how much he loves your music and tell you some of his favorite lyrics in your songs and ask where your inspiration comes from. He would remember every single word forever.

Originally posted by kimseokjin

Jimin: He would be quite shy and giggly. He might even feel insecure in this situation and think something like, “Wow, I’m really in the presence of this goddess, me, a potato.” (lol sorry.) He would shyly say he’s a really big fan and would thank you a hundred times for signing his album.

Originally posted by whyparkjimin

V: He would be very excited to meet you. He would bring you a cute plushie as a gift. He would want to do something to make you remember him, so he would make it his goal to make you laugh. He would pick his favorite rap part from one of your songs and give you a mini performance. His confidence would go up a lot and he would swell with pride hearing you laugh.

Originally posted by hugtae

Jungkook: This shy baby boy (yes you’re an 18 year old baby) would be so so nervous and awkward. You know how when you’re really nervous, your body  just kinda goes on autopilot? Yeah, that would be him. He would be frozen and numb and just say everything he planned on saying to you in a monotone voice. When you tell him there’s no need to be nervous, he’ll just blush and go into super giggly mode. 

Originally posted by oh-suga-suga