I, personally, no longer take part in the ecstatic public condemnation of people unless they’ve committed a transgression that has an actual victim, and even then not as much as I probably should. I miss the fun a little. But it feels like when I became a vegetarian. I missed the steak, although not as much as I’d anticipated, but I could no longer ignore the slaughterhouse.
Jon Ronson, So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed.
I’ll never forget this story:
Context: It was simply a legal technicality. Something to do with homeowners and legal and medical insurance. The medical insurance wouldn’t pay the bills. So, she sued the nephew for, like, one dollar. The home owners insurance covered all the money.
She’s still on great terms with her sister and nephew. They laughed about it. “Oh, you sued me. Lol.”
But she still got vilified world-wide because, well, no one bothered to check the real story.
She was like the spring -always flourishing and blissful. She was exceptionally bright and her presence was heavenly. With a buzzing, forever lively mind, she could make the rainiest days seem cloudless. After a lingering sleep, she would awake like a blossoming rose ready to spread joy across the land.
“The problem had to be with him, FN-2187 thought. That was the only explanation. It was what everyone had been saying all along, after all. He was different. Maybe he was so different he was broken. So he would work to fix it, to be a real stormtrooper, to be one of them. That was, he thought, what he wanted most of all.Not to be alone.”
Bruce: No, son. It’s not just the T.V. remote. It’s the symbol of my sanity. That T.V. remote helps me keep a grip on my sanity when you people drive me insane. Do you know how many of you there are? I can’t go anywhere in this house without seeing kids. You’re all so loud and hyper and you never sit still or shut up. I can never get peace or even rest. I go to sleep dreaming about going to sleep. That remote is all I have left.
Tim: Yeah, I’m gonna go outside now.
Damian and Jason: *playing a board game*
Damian: You’re cheating!
Jason: No, I’m just better than you.
Damian: No, you’re cheating!
Jason: Don’t take it personal, kid. I’m older than you, and that means I’m gonna be better than you at a lot of things.
Damian: *punches Jason in the face*
Jason: *standing over the sink with a bloody nose* What the hell, man? You get mad for losing a 15 minute board game so now I get a crooked nose for the rest of my life?
Damian:I guess reflexes aren’t on your “I’m better at it than you” list.
*the number of kids in the family keeps growing*
Dick: God, at this rate, we’re gonna have to rent out an arena for family reunions.
Jason: Family reunions? Who says I’m gonna want to see any of you again?
Damian: Who said we would invite you?
Dick: So, should we eat at McDonald’s or Subway?
Tim: Who cares? We’re all just going to inevitably die anyway no matter where we eat, so what’s the point? What is the point?
Dick: So Subway?
Tim: Yeah, McDonald’s would only kill us faster.
Damian: I don’t have friends. I just have you people.
Jason: No no. It’s, “I don’t have friends because I have you people.”
Dick: So, if you count nine months backwards from the month you were born, you get an idea of what might have brought on your creation.
Jason: That’s disgusting. Why would I want to know that?
Dick: *smiles evilly at Jason*
Jason: You already figured mine out, didn’t you.
Dick: Congratulations! You are the product of one hell of a Christmas celebration!
Jason: I would’ve happily gone my entire life without knowing that.
Dick: So were you born this evil or did something make you this way?
Damian: I’m the youngest in this train wreck of a family. What do you think?
Dick: Yeah okay.
Dick: As your elder sibling, I’m going to give you some tips on how to survive in life.
Tim: Is that what you’re doing?
Dick: I– *breaks down* I honestly have no idea.
Dick: I have my great ass and my ability to completely ignore how much I don’t know what I’m doing working for me. What do you have?
Jason: A master plan and a raging, fiery sense of calculated vengeance.
Dick: Yeah, that’ll do it.
Tim and Damian: *watching the neighborhood kids play*
Tim: Look at them. They’re having so much fun. They’re so happy.
Damian: How long do you think it’ll be until they lose the will to live?
Tim: You’re the youngest. How close are you?
Damian: I’m already there.
Tim: And how old are you?
Tim: Those kids are doomed.
Damian: This is so humiliating.
Dick: Hey, remember what family you’re in. We sold our dignity to the devil for good looks.
Jason: Yeah, and it looks like he ripped you off.
Bruce: Good morning.
Damian: Dad, you just put salt in your coffee.
Bruce: Adulthood is a trap, son.
Damian: What are you–
Bruce: Happiness is an illusion.
Bruce: I’m going back to bed.
Inspired by my hot mess of a family. If there’s one thing our dysfunctional dynamic brings, it’s humor in the face of crippling stress. lolol Hope you enjoyed!
“You keep telling me that being a man means doing all these tasks, and being aggrel all the time, but I’m starting to think that stuff’s malarkey. You heard me, malarkey. So maybe I don’t have muscles, or hair in certain places, and sure, when a girly pop song comes on the radio, sometimes, I leave it on! ‘Cause dang it, top 40 hits are in the top 40 for a reason! They’re catchy!”