Okay lets talk about the symbolism of “two paper airplanes flying” though. You throw a paper airplane knowing that it’s going to come crashing down pretty soon. But you do it anyway, because you want to see how far it can go. You never know if it’s going to go two feet or twenty feet, you only know that it will, inevitably, come to an end, but you throw it anyway because it’s fun while it lasts – just like their relationship. And if you don’t think that’s some poetic stuff right there you can gladly go get lost in the woods.
“I thought I lost him. The whole time in the waiting room I kept thinking to myself ‘if he dies, it’s my fault.’” “There’s nothing you could have done.” “That’s not what I mean. When I was a kid I was so angry at him. Do you know how many times I prayed that he would get shot?” “That’s not your fault either.”
day thirty-one: whatever you want - or: in which I catch up on some of the themes I missed this month
↳ day 8 catch up, favorite outfit: that leather shirtplus bonus to-go robb song for me
Too much love will kill you It’ll make your life a lie Yes, too much love will kill you And you won’t understand why You’d give your life, you’d sell your soul But here it comes again Too much love will kill you, in the end
so, idk exactly when it happened, but lately i feel that i’ve become extremely biased towards jinhun? i mean, tracking back from the days when i was just getting to know them, i have always had a soft spot for these two, but these days the feelings are just getting more…. intense? l o l. like, i would react even to the tiniest bit of jinhun interaction? ;~; and then sometimes i would see caps or gifs from their old videos and spot jinhun and wonder why i had missed that or why i didn’t spazz enough about it. i guess if i were to re-watch all their videos from the beginning i would surprise myself with how much jinhun i have missed out on then. (perhaps when i have time to spare, i would….)
anyways. since i started this blog as my own space to talk/spazz/rant about whatever i feel for knk, it can’t be helped that my somehow fonder affection for both of them is reflected in my posts here. so, i guess what i’m trying to say here is that, if you happen to have followed this blog (thank you, really ;w;) expecting more group-centered posts or equal share of all members, then i’m afraid i have let you down ;-;
it’s not that i care ONLY for youjin and jihun; it’s just that i’ve grown fonder of them both over time, and there’s nothing i can do about it. but i DO love each and every one of them, truly.
so yeah. i just thought i had to put this out there.
Spending two whole weeks with my family was so refreshing. I
originally left home so I could get away from the madness of my family and
become more independent and reliable of myself, but now that I’m home, I
honestly don’t want to leave. I love having my mother do all of my laundry and
cook all of my meals for me and take me shopping and buy me new clothes. She’s
Why can’t she move to California with me?
I’m leaving tomorrow so I’m spending the day with all 5 of
my siblings at a nearby theme park. In 14 days, this is the only day all of us
are free and can actually see each other without parents or nieces and nephews
getting in the way.
Katya and Emilie are meeting me and the boys there, so it’s
my responsibility to drive us around today – that is never easy with a 16 year
old, 12 year old and 9 year old. Ever.
“So, Troye, any new girlfriends?” I ask my 16 year old
brother sitting in the front seat next to me. I can see his face turn beat-red.
Oh, so there is a lady involved. Or maybe it’s a guy. How would I know? He
never fricking calls or texts me. “Do I know her?”
“It’s London!” Ethan, the 9 year old, shouts from the back
seat, him and Hugo, the 12 year old, laughing their asses off. Troye turns
around in his seat, ready to go and hit them, but I push him back into his
“No violence in my car.”
“This is moms car.”
“And would mom let you attack your brothers in her car
whilst she’s driving?” I hum. “No, she wouldn’t so sit your ass back down,
“You just got schooled.” One of them chimes in the back.
Troye slumps in the seat and rests his head against the window in defeat.
“So, London?” I ask. I never even thought of those two being
together, or even remotely romantically interested in each other. They hated
each other growing up.
Aw! It’s like a fan fiction in real life!
Troye sighs. “Yes, London. We’ve been talking and getting on
a lot better recently and we were at this party and playing spin the bottle-“
Did I hear that right? My little brother – my 16 year old
brother – is already going to drinking parties and playing these kind of games?
Um, not if I can help it. Who the hell is buying these kids alcohol? Older
siblings or fake IDs?
“You were at a party playing spin the bottle? Boy, if I find
out you’ve been drinking, I’m going to punch you so hard.”
“Ha! You were at parties getting drunk when you were 15!”
That is very, very different. That was me, this is him. We’re
two different people. Teenagers are more drastic nowadays. Fuck, that makes me
sound like I’m in my fifties and reminiscing back on my teen days, when
actually, I’m only 20 and it was only 5 years ago.
“Times have changed since I was 15.”
“Pft.” Hugo scoffs and makes the other two start laughing.
“Alright, alright, calm your tits.” These kids don’t let
anything go, they remember every, tiny detail about your life and then they use
it against you a few years later. God, I hate brothers. “Carry on, T.”
“We were playing spin the bottle and I spun it and it landed
on London so, yeah…”
“Wait until Kenny hears about this!”
Wait until our grandmas hear about this! It’ll be a fucking
field day! They’ll start putting together a wedding book for them!
I would know. They have a wedding book for Kenny and me from
5 years ago. And they also have a wedding book for me and Sam. I’m pretty sure
they’re making one for Ethan and Capri now, it really wouldn’t surprise me.
Those two are obsessed with weddings and marriage, especially when it comes to
our two families legally (through marriage) becoming one.
“But honestly, I think it’s adorable. Have you gone on a
“No, we were meant to last week but because you were home
and Kenny was home, we decided not to…”
“Dude, don’t let me and Kenny stay in your way!”
“You should be honoured that I stayed home to see you!”
“You were in your room all week last week.”
I roll my eyes at Ethan. Maybe I should set up a date for
the two of them, and get Kenny in on it so we can make it perfect. But, I
probably shouldn’t meddle in his first proper relationship (from what it sounds
Oh, who the fuck cares? Of course I’m going to meddle! He’s
my little brother! I’m going to do everything I can to get those two together,
forever. Maybe not forever, but at least for a few months, maybe a few years,
maybe a wedding, maybe a few kids… Forever, yeah.
As soon as I get a free minute, I’m calling Kenny and we’re
going to make this shit happen.
I didn’t have a free minute until we got back to the house.
My day was packed with hyping up Ethan to get on the different rollercoasters
around and forcing Emilie to buy me a giant slushie after losing a bet that she
could stay silent on the kids
She is such a wimp.
So, when I got home and went up to my room, it was around
4pm, I called Kenny straight away because we really don’t have a lot of time
left to plan this out. I want to be able to see Troye and London all happy and
loved up. It would be the highlight of my trip and the cutest thing ever.
All I have to do is get Ken on board and get a table at a
restaurant or book some movie tickets or something cute like that.
I can tell that Troye really likes London, even if I haven’t
seen them together, I can just tell that they’re going to be the cutest couple
around. Literally, they’re going to be relationship goals.
There won’t be any BMW’s or Ferraris, or constant sex (hell
no there won’t be), like all those ‘relationship goals’ photo sets say, it’ll
be pure LOVE.
AND LOVE IS THE GOAL IN LIFE.
HAPPINESS IS THE GOAL IN LIFE.
When I get to actually giving Kenny a call, I go to click on
his contact but my phone starts ringing before I can get there first.
“Well, this is my name, Morgan Brody. That’s me. This is my address, in Green Valley. And this is my best friend’s name, David Hodges. At first I didn’t like him very much, he was… kinda weird. But y'know he’s actually a really sweet guy. He’s smart and funny and our parents are dating which is so weird. Sorry, way, way too much about me.”