lol priests

Evil Twins nun ichi and demon ichi

becauseforoncethisisme  asked:

I am super looking forward to when you finish and post Anabasis because I am DYING for a full fic where the story's all "THE EVIL HAS BEEN DEFEATED! So we will...we'll...well, now what?"

:D Just for that, have some Obi-Wan and Adi Gallia talking about the uncertain future of the Jedi Order.

(Also, for the anon who was worried the Anabasis tag had been quiet for a while, here you go!)

“You don’t sound like you believe that.”

Adi Gallia laughed, short and startled. “I suppose that’s because I don’t, Master Kenobi,” she said. “Since Palpatine’s death, the Force has felt clearer and cleaner than I’ve ever known it.”

His surprise must have been obvious on his face, because Master Gallia gave him a wry smile and added, “I mean that, Obi-Wan. Vader may be Dark, but he doesn’t cloud the Force the way his master did. You must have noticed that yourself – that the shroud of the Dark Side has lifted?”

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Catholic priest joke

A priest kept chickens at his village. One evening, one of them went missing. At the church mass prayer gathering the priest asked:

-Who has a cock?

All the men got up

-No, I mean who has seen a cock?

All the men and women got up

-No, no, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?

All the women got up

-Oh, for heavens sake, who has seen my cock

All the nuns got up

The boys choir, also, slowly got up

Rire’s come to collect.

The quickest way to a man’s soul is through his throat. Haha that’s actually a lie but Rire likes being creative.

Two priests are out driving one day..

when they get pulled over by a police officer.

The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver “Sorry to pull you over father, but we’re looking for a couple of child molesters”

The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says;

“Alright officer, we’ll do it”

anonymous asked:

Oh my goodness my sweet Pauline! How I have missed talking to you, but alas I had been busy. How are you doing Sweetheart?

*gasp*

Could it be? Is it really you, my anon fiancé?

I’ve been swamped with real life but I think I found a minister for the ceremony. He kept saying he wasn’t available but I think I can convince him.

Originally posted by elegantsam

anonymous asked:

Anon-who-never-MEANT-to-toy-with-your-emotions-and-is-kinda-sorry-about-that(but only kinda); Yeah. Sorry about that. Except the last one - totally stand by that, Tucarisi and all. Saw the Young Pope post and wanted to ask - do you know of any Priest!Carisi AU fics? I have the loveliest mental image of him in a cassock...

Hehehehe don’t apologize, I live for angsty headcanons, and I very much appreciate receiving them :D

Also

a) omg I’m so glad you watched it, in fact YES EVERYONE WATCH THE YOUNG POPE PLEASE you know sonny is watching the fuck out of it

and

b) I actually don’t? Um. That’s a pretty big oversight. I think I can vaguely recall something, maybe posted here on tumblr, but there’s no way I could come up with a link. Barisi AUs aren’t that many, to be honest, which needs to be rectified, for sure.

Does anyone else have a Carisi/Barisi Priest AU rec? Maybe we can help out the lovely anon?

The closest thing I can add to this post is this pic:

A doodle for @mipsymipp6

SO FIRST THING FIRST… I went on a vocation only to find out that I forgot to bring paper for drawing with me (I usually use A4).

Then I had problems with drawing priest’s attire. And that pond down there is actually peanut…

A priest and driver died

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.

‘Come with me’, said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.

'Wow, thank you’, said the taxi driver.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.

'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up’, said the priest. 'Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.’

'Yes, that’s true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.’

A Private Sermon

Summary: Your boyfriend Jimmy, who also happens to be the head priest at your local church, isn’t afraid to punish you in God’s house, if that’s what it takes for you to learn your lesson.

Pairing: Priest!Jimmy Novak x reader

Word Count: about 3k

Warnings: SO MUCH SINNING (almost the entire thing is smut lol), priest!kink (so obviously a priest breaking his vows should also be a warning), sex in a church, dom/sub relationship, spanking, lil bit of breath play, language

A/N: so, yeah. I have a thing for Jimmy. especially kinky Jimmy. also, I’m not a Catholic, so I might’ve gotten some things wrong in this, sorry! ok so yeah, if a priest breaking his vows or fucking in a church isn’t your thing, don’t read this! HOPE YALL ENJOY MY FIRST JIMMY FIC. IM JIMMY TRASH.

(x)

“What did you just say?”

Bingo.

You were currently making love to your God-fearing, Jesus-loving boyfriend Jimmy, who was not only the head priest at your local church, but was also one of the kinkiest doms you’d ever been with. You constantly loved to push his buttons—you loved getting punished, what could you say?—but you never went too far, always submitting to him in the end. This time, however, you wanted to see just how far you could push him.

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