lol posts

I haven’t mentioned it on here but I’m writing a fast n loose n casual KH summary for a friend who only played the first one and wants to get back into the series and so far I’ve written some great gems:

  • “[on the X-blade] The Original One. Every Keyblade after this is man-made and actually just trying to cramp this one’s style”
  • “[on the Keyblade War] What KHUX is currently trying and failing to tell us about but u can have that salt later“
  • “the more human it looks the more you should run”
  • “There is friendship and adventure and maybe a Final Fantasy character or two before Sora finds out Kairi’s out of commission and Riku is a bag of dicks who thinks Sora’s ditched him“
  • “Oh yeah somewhere in there Maleficent gets brutally murdered by Sora and Ansem is also a Heartless and not named Ansem actually BUT ANYWAYS“
  • they’re all really disorganized and maybe a little, oh, I dunno, backstabby.“
  • “[Riku] agrees to stop chilling so he can kick Ansem’s ass“
  • really it’s a beautiful thing to see a bag of dicks turning into a wonderful young dork of a man.“
  • “there u are Axel the plot and the angel of death missed u ya red haired hedgehog.“
  • “CONGRATS YOU JUST BEAT THE PROLOGUE OF KH2 THAT WAS 3 WONDERFULLY ATMOSPHERIC AND YET BORING AF HOURS YOU’LL NEVER GET BACK.“
  • Sora it’s your job to fix this because you have the Keyblade. 
         “Alright!” says Sora, quietly thinking about how hot Riku’s gotten in this year or so.”
  • “Hey Mr. Ansem you kinda were evil a year ago but I guess you’re ok-” 
         “Sora he’s Riku” says Kairi with magical bullshit-proof Heart of Pure Light
         “YOU’RE RIKU?!” says Sora, immediately on his knees and crying in the gayest moment I have ever seen.“
  • “they sit there and start confessing all their bro feels but just before they can say that maybe there is a little homo and have the series banned forever and Disney privileges revoked a magical letter from Kairi comes by and the fuzzy memories of that third friend they’ve been forgetting come back and open a magical door“
  • “[Xemnas] says in a totally supportive and not creepy way that he can give you “purpose”, and that purpose is joining the totally not a cult Organization XIII. … Congrats, Roxas, you’re employed at a cult at the tender age of nothing.“
  • “Roxas’s ever growing list of “why” as he enters toddlerhood“
  • “IT’S KAIRI’S EMO PHASE“
  • “the narrative is still trying to save face about Sora not being gay by claiming his most important memories are of Kairi.”
  • “REWIND EVEN LONGER. Sora’s a fucking baby which means it’s time for a NEW PROTAGONIST“
  • it’s Riku’s arc if ever-trusting and somewhat-oblivious Sora was at the helm.“
  • “Not-Roxas has Roxas’s face with blonde eyebrows instead of brown and is much less focused on existential angst (for now) and much more focused on having fun times and good friends.“
  • “ “I got u bro” says this weird new baby friend“
  • “Mark Hamill says Mr. Spock is actually Master Xehanort and totally not evil please ignore the dark skin, golden eyes, black coat, bald of evil, wavy and dramatic fingers, evil smirk, and various other alarms for a evil person. “Trust me we were college roommates” says Mark Hamill.“
3

The idea sparked with the simple idea of “Person A lifting Person B”

And then I just… 

“….I wanna draw Princess Carry now  (~≖‿≖~ )…”

…Except my hand/brain decided to make a joke out of it… GET A GIRL WHO CAN DO BOTH THO

[Comm info]